Forever Mine

Chapter Three: Unforgiving


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Tsuzuki puts his apron on, ready to set the table.

Nothing like cooking, he thought, to ease his mind a bit.

It was kinda weird being out with Tatsumi at a fancy restaurant like that. Even weirder that Tastumi called him that name, "Zuki." He had not heard that name since they where younger.

Tsuzuki then hears the doorbell. Taking the spoon with him to go answer it, he tastes some of his sauce as he opens the door seeing Tatumi on the other side.

"I was wondering what happened to you? You left without saying anything," the secretary stated.

Tsuzuki pulls the spoon out of his mouth. Feeling the stare of Tatsumi on him he stammers out, "I...I'm sorry Tatsumi. I wasn't feeling well."

"Well, you left this." Tatsumi holds up a closed container.

Tsuzuki already knew what it was. A feeling of dread came over him.

"Umm, thank you." He slowly reaches for it, but Tatsumi walked past him into the apartment. The secretary breathed deeply.

"You cooked!"

He could see Tsuzuki in his apron and couldn't help but smile at how cute the Shinigami looked.

"It smells great."

"Of course. It is one of my favorite things to do," The brunette pouted.

Tatsumi looked at the apron chuckling. "I thought as much. Do you mind? I haven't eaten anything since you left the restaurant."

Tsuzuki smiles back at him.

"Umm, of course not. Make yourself at home. I'll just set a place for you."

"Great! I'll go put this in the fridge for you then."

Tsuzuki follows him into the kitchen. The brunette grabbed another plate and set it on the table.

"Besides, Tatsumi, I would rather have company than eat all this by myself, even though I wouldn't mind. It does get lonely sometimes."

He goes back to his pot to stir the sauce he had made.

"Why did you really leave, Zuki?" The secretary asked softly.

The brunette stopped stirring, slowly taking the spoon out and tapping it on the edge of the pot.

"You didn't even tell me you were leaving. Why?" Tatsumi could feel his face twist painfully.

Tsuzuki sighed. "It was because I couldn't, Tatsumi. I couldn't handle seeing that dessert in front of my eyes."

Tatsumi looks at him confused. "I asked you if you liked it or not. I would have ordered you something else if it made you feel sick."

Tsuzuki just came out with it. "It was the same dessert that Muraki and I had, umm..."

Realization dawned on Tatsumi. He didn't want to hear it.
He quickly interrupted the violet-eyed man. "Oh! Then I'll get rid of it."

Tsuzuki touches his hand stopping the older man from grabbing the dessert out of the fridge.

"No, Tatsumi. I have to stop. This is what I realized: You're right. He is dead. I can't keep going like this. I can't make my memories ruin my life anymore. I have to move on."

Tsuzuki lets go of the spoon causing it to drop on the floor with a clatter. "It is just so hard, Tatsumi. Hard to forget," Tsuzuki whispers brokenly.

Tatsumi touches the smaller man's shoulder. "Sometimes it can be.
But, I am here for you, Zuki."

Tatsumi ran his fingers through Tsuzuki's soft brown hair.

"I am always here for you," Tatsumi feels his body flush as he looked at those brilliant violet eyes of the brunette's. His passion increasing as he brings the smaller Shinigami closer to him.

Suddenly, the buzzer dings on the oven, startling both men as Tsuzuki grabs the spoon from the ground.

'Oh! It's done."

Tsuzuki quickly busies himself getting the hot noodles out of the oven, unaware of a frustrated Tatsumi standing in his kitchen.

Needing something to do, Tatsumi grabs an oven mitt from the counter next to Tsuzuki. Because of the smallness of the room, Tatsumi couldn't help but bump his body against Tsuzuki's back.

"I'm sorry, Tsuzuki. This kitchen is so small. How about you sit down while I'll bring the food?"

Tsuzuki turns around to face him only to find himself inches away from Tatsumi's lips. "Umm, okay," his voice breathy as he could feel Tatsumi's breath close to his. He blushes as Tatsumi's crystal blue eyes stare intently at him.
Tsuzuki quickly makes his way to the table, abruptly sitting down.

Tatsumi places the noodles on the table, then grabs the sauce.

"The Chief had said that there was only one murder. So, it wasn't something we were to worry about as being like the reporter said, all it could have been was a jealous boyfriend."

Tsuzuki grabs some of the noodles placing it on his plate.

"Did they catch him yet?"

"Unfortunately, no. But while you were gone today, the Chief did ask me if I could have you on the case, considering there might be some weird occurrences. Even though there has not been any names that appeared on the list yet, we can't be too careful.

Tsuzuki puts some of the steamy noodles on Tatsumi's plate, generously pouring the thick sauce over it.

"And what does Hisoka say about it?"

"Hisoka has refused to take the case, due to his upcoming vacation. So I insisted on taking his place this time around. That is, if it is okay with you."

Tsuzuki devoured his noodles. "I don't see why not. If Hisoka is taking a vacation, I think it is good for him to have one." His voice grows quieter, "Even if I think it is because of me that caused his decision," Tsuzuki face sags a bit after confessing this.

"Tsuzuki, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. Hisoka dosen't hate you. He just needs time to adjust. A vacation for him would do him good, I think."

Tatsumi tastes the dish in front of him, wanting to pull Tsuzuki out of his depressed state

"Wow! Tsuzuki, this is amazing!"

Tsuzuki smiles at him, continuing to eat slowly. "Thank you."

Tatsumi picks up his napkin, leaning over to wipe Tsuzuki mouth.

"We will be doing field work tomorrow."


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"Muraki, no! I could have taken that bullet!"

The wounded man touches Tsuzuki's face rubbing his cheek lightly.

"You are so perfect as it is. I didn't want to ruin it."

Tsuzuki wakes up in a cold sweat. "Not again."

He gets up going to the fridge to grab a cold water bottle, noticing the container sitting next to it. Sighing, he picks it up, opening it and seeing the dessert inside.

Staring at the creme-filled delight, he thinks, "It tasted so good."

He dips his finger in the mousse, tasting a little of it, feeling the texture slowly melting in his mouth.

"It just isn't the same! Damn you!"

He throws it across the kitchen hitting the wall. The gooey mixture splatters all over the wall.

"Even my desserts are ruined because of you!"

"It seems Tatsumi is the only one who understands me. I feel so comfortable around him like a big brother. He seems to make me forget about Muraki when he is around. I know his intentions. He only wants what is good for me. He is such a caring man. Maybe it is better that he is on this case with me. I'm so grateful he is around."

The Shinigami rubes his hands against his arms.

"I wish he were here right now. He would tell me everything is okay and hold me.
I need that now more than ever. For someone to hold me, make me feel needed," he mused.

He holds himself tighter. "Tatsumi..."


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"Tsuzuki! You're late! Tsuzuki, are you even here?"

Tsuzuki wakes up, finding himself on the cold floor. Someone was knocking at his door.

"Oh, shit! I'm late!" Tsuzuki rushes to put on some clothes then runs to open the door, passing Tatsumi on the way out.

"Tsuzuki!"

The brunette stops short. He slowly turns around dreading to see Tatsumi's stern features.

"Tatsumi, I'm sorry," he manages hoping to appease the secretary.

Tatsumi smiles at him.

"Are you ready?"

Tsuzuki smiles back gleefully. "Yes."

Tatsumi cleaned his glasses casually.

"Don't think I have forgotten you being late today. I had to cover for you in the office.I know you had a rough day yesterday but this is a very important assignment. Now, that I'm on the case with you, you have to get your head together, Tsuzuki," admonished Tatsumi.

The brunette Shinigami hated when he was like this: All business and work. But he knew Tatsumi was right. What good was he if his head was always floating in the clouds?


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They scouted the area of the park where the incident had happened.

"It would be so much easier if Hisoka where here. He could very easily use his empathic powers to trace some clues," grumbled Tsuzuki.

"Well, he isn't so we will have to do what we can," the secretary replied.

Tsuzuki pouted going over to the park bench and plopping down.

"I'm so tired, Tatsumi! Can we take a break for just a moment?"

Tatsumi sits next to him. "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt."

The sun started setting as they have been out all day looking for clues or anything for that matter to help with the case.

"The cherry blossoms seem to cover the ground. It's such a beautful sight. Each one falling from its branch, floating through the air like dancing petals. Almost like they were human themselves performing a show for the world to see. I bet not a single one falls the same way," Tsuzuki mused wistfully.

Tatsumi looks at him, wanting to here more. Despite Tsuzuki's child-like behavior, most of the time he was a man with deep thoughts. Deep beautiful thoughts that always seemd to touch Tatsumi's heart whenever he heard them.

"Zuki, would you like to know why I stopped being your partner?"

Tsuzuki looked at him from the corner of his eye.

"What..what do you mean. It was because I was annoying you, right?"

"That was just an excuse for the real reason."

Tuszuki sits up, giving his whole attention toward Tatsumi.

"What do you mean, Tatsumi?"

"I stopped being your partner because I didn't want my feelings getting in the way!" The blue-eyed Shinigami turned to meet Tsuzuki's eyes fully.

"Tsuzuki, I am attracted to you and I knew that it would interfer with my work being your partner," Tatsumi confessed.

Tatsumi tore off his glasses peering closer at Tsuzuki. The violet-eyed man was taken aback by Tatsumi's confession.

"Those feelings never left. I am so very jealous of Muraki, for what he had. I wanted it to be me. For two years I envied him. It made me sick wanting you for myself even more so."

"Zuki, I want to hold you in my arms and touch you because I want to be with you."

"Tatsumi, I...I never knew," The guardian blushed deep red.

"Well, now you do."

Suddenly, the secertary reaches for him, kissing him. Tsuzuki finds himself not pulling away.. He needed that touch. It didn't matter who it was from. He just needed to not hurt any more. He needed to feel anything but pain.

He let Tatsumi pull him further into the embrace as the blue-eyed Shinigami glided his hand down the guardian's shirt, kissing his neck.

Tsuzuki opened his eyes seeing the man work his way down his clothes.

"This isn't right! This isn't the same feeling!"

His thoughts race a mile a mintue.

"Wait."

But the older Shinigami just murmured as he went to kissing the side of his neck.

"Tatsumi, wait!"

Tatsumi stops, looking up at Tsuzuki.

"I'm not ready for this yet," Tsuzuki whispers.

Tatsumi sits back, his breathing harsh. He shakily pulls his glasses out of his pocket and puts them on.

"I'm sorry, Zuki. I pushed too fast, didn't I?" said Tatsumi, trying to keep his voice light.

Tsuzuki looks away. Suddenly, the sound of a girl's screams pierces the air.

Both men get up running in the direction of the cries, only to come to a halt. A female, bleeding from her chest down by a gash that was seen clearly, gaping a horrific wound across her chest to her inner thigh.

She was on her last breath as she murmured, "I was...just walking by...why.
why...did he attack...me?"

Tsuzuki runs to her side. "Who!?" Who did this?" But her breath became still.

"Damn it!" he lets her head down gently, noticing a crushed rose underneath it. He pulls it out and stares at it in disbelief.

It was a red queen rose. The same rose that was given to him by Muraki on several occasions on the boat. His eyes lit up with hope that Muraki was alive, but hurt that he would do such a thing as this. Part of him wanted it to be him, but the other part didn't want to know it was him that had caused these murders.

"Muraki."

Tatsumi looks at Tsuzuki holding the rose realizing that Tsuzuki might just be right this time. Muraki might just be alive.


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Tsuzuki holds the rose twisting it in hand.

"Muraki, is it you? Why?"

Watari walks in, his face disturbed and somewhat tired.

"As I went through data after data, it is possible that Muraki's name being on the list could have been a misprint. There was no sign of Tsubaki's name. His might have been a replacement of hers."

Tsuzuki looks up at the blonde scientist. "What do you mean, Watari? That her name is missing off the list?"

"Precisely! In other words, it either means that she is still alive which I highly doubt or Muraki's name was a misprint on her name."

Tsuzuki crushes the rose in his hand.

"Which means that Muraki is still alive!"

"Correct!" Watari noticed the look of determination on Tsuzuki's features.

"That bastard! He said he would never kill again! That girl didn't deserve that. She had a life and he took that away from her. I can't allow it to happen again," the brunette resolved.

'Tsuzuki, what do you plan to do?" The scientist walked over to the angered guardian noticing the crushed rose in his hands, the thorns piercing his skin.

"Tell the others I'll be back. I'm going to find him and I'm going to kill him myself!"

"But I thought..." Watari remembers the moments when Tsuzuki sat in this same chair just looking out the window hoping to see that devil waiting for him.

"It dosen't matter what you think, Watari! I have to do this if not for those innocent people then for myself. I have to get over the fact that he is nothing more then a murderer."

Tsuzuki gets up and heads to the door. Unexpectedly, the brunette turns, looking at Watari.

"Please don't tell Tatsumi what I'm doing. He'll come after me and I don't want to put his life in danger.

I can get closer to Muraki than any of you. It's better this way if you don't say anything," he reasoned.

He walks out the door.

Watari looks out the window seeing the angry shinigami leave from the Halls of Hades.

"Tsuzuk, you are right about one thing. Muraki is closest to you, but can you handle that feeling again of holding his lifeless body in your arms? I can only hope..."


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Chapter Four: Torturous Guilt