Obsession

4: Maybe I’m all messed up...


‘Bloody idiots, all of them,’ Seras growled to herself as she put another load into her Harkonnen. Lack of sleep had put her into a foul temper and it didn’t help that the new men were treating her like a pariah, because of what she was. Her eyes narrowed as she watched them scramble around below her, firing shots at targets. She had positioned herself on top of the barracks for a better vantage point.

After the siege by the Valentine brothers had decimated most of the Hellsing staff, Integra decided that the new batch of mercenaries needed constant training so that they would be prepared for any similar attacks. Training was laughably easy compared to some of her earlier missions, but having to deal with the constant undertone of fear and suspicion from the others was grating on her nerves. Every time she made any headway with her fellow soldiers, Alucard would do something to remind them of how inhuman she was, and it was back to step one.

Alucard... She had done her best not to think of her Master at all lately. Her lack of sleep was due mainly to him. She continued to have very... unwanted dreams about him. Although she was grateful she wasn’t acting them out anymore like that first night, the dreams were intense and extremely vivid. Most of them had a reoccurring scenario of him pinning her arms above her head with shadows, as his hands pulled her hips against his, grinding into her as he sunk his fangs into her throat. While each one differed in the details, the general theme was the same. The dreams were embarrassing and distressing to Seras. Before this, she never thought about sex, in fact would of preferred to have nothing to do with it at all. So why was she becoming so obsessed about it? What was causing these dreams?

“Hey, you going to stand there all night or what?”

Seras shook herself free from her thoughts and raised an eyebrow as she turned to the man who had appeared beside her. Pip smirked at her and shrugged.

“This is supposed to be target practice, eh? No time for daydreams.”

With a smirk of her own, Seras sighted her gun and blew away a target at the 4,500 mark.

“Show off,” Pip mumbled, but he was still smiling as he headed down to check the progress of the other soldiers. Seras smiled faintly as she watched him leave, her mind wandering once more.

Pip, now that man was both a frustration and an enigma to Seras. Like the others he had been terrified of her, calling her a freak when she had held him off just by using the force of her snapping fingers. Inexplicably, after about a week, he was treating her like a human, not like the monster the rest of the men thought she was. Yes there were the friendly jibes, the teasing flirts that made Seras sputter and turn red (which made Pip do it all the more), but he was treating her like her squad members had done back in her breathing days.

The only other person who did that was Walter. He was like a father figure to her, and she enjoyed spending time with him. On the rare occasion that they both had off at the same time, they would sit together in the kitchen and have tea. Although Seras couldn’t really drink the stuff, she found comfort in the familiar actions of holding a warm cuppa in her hands, inhaling the fragrant smell of chamomile and honey, talking about her day, or what new infuriating thing that either Pip or her Master had done. He would just smile, offering words of comfort to her slighted pride, other times he would gently chide her for not drinking her blood. Those times she would blush and murmur some excuse or apology, saying she would try, but they both knew she didn’t mean it.

Suddenly Seras was knocked out of her musing by a commotion going on below her. She set her Harkonnen down and headed down the stairs to find a crowd gathering. As soon as she drew near the various soldier and mercenaries parted almost instantly. She frowned at the in passing but made her way forward to see what was going on.

The scent of fresh blood hit her nostrils, causing to falter for a moment as her stomach clenched painfully. Her feet began moving again towards the bloodscent, as if with will of their own. She stopped as she reached the source, taking in the scene before her. Apparently one of the soldiers had been a victim of friendly fire, his leg was bleeding at an alarming rate from a nasty gunshot. So much blood, the smell of it was overwhelming. It just kept pumping out there was so much of it, and a small voice in her head kept telling her it was such a shame to let all that perfectly good blood go to waste. Seras stood, hardly aware of her fangs lengthening past her lips, staring intently at the Soldier’s leg as her body trembled and her hands clenching into fists.

Pip, who had been arranging medical attention for the injured man, noticed Seras who appeared to be in some sort of trance, and noticed the effect she was having on the other men, who were backing up from her rather quickly. He walked up to her placing his hands on her shoulders lightly shaking her.

“Seras? Are you okay?”

For a instant her lip curled up in a snarl and Pip though she might actually attack him. But it was only an instant as she shook herself out of it, looking at him, then the very frightened men around her as look of horror washed over her face. She backed away from him, tears forming in her eyes.

“I.. I’m sorry..” she whispered before running off back towards the mansion before anyone could stop her.