That�s What I Go To School For

Open House Day @ New Britannia High
By Eline

The utterly irredeemable collection of OOC porn in the most clichéd High School scenarios imaginable continues.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Open House Day at New Britannia High started with a bang. Quite literally. The Science Club had manufactured primitive explosive powder according to the ancient Chinese recipe of sulphur, saltpeter and charcoal in the Chemistry Lab, packed it into a small wooden casket and passed the detonation switch to the principal for the Opening Ceremony.

After the smoke had cleared, the principal had to be escorted back to his office for a drink to steady his nerves--most people suspected a stiff shot of gin--and Open House Day began in earnest as the students threw open the gates to await their potential vict--customers.

The teachers, wearing the glassy-eyed look of people who were wondering what they were doing in school on a Saturday, milled around to ensure that everything ran smoothly. Or as smoothly as it possibly could go. There was a betting pool going on that something would force the event to halt prematurely.

Lelouch Lamperouge had been volunteered by Milly Ashford for first aid duty at the last minute. She had assured him that any real emergencies would be dealt with by the paramedics on stand-by.

“But why do we need paramedics on stand-by?” Lelouch had asked. Milly had said something very quickly about how experience had taught them not to underestimate the need for safety and rushed off to harangue someone else.

After the opening ceremony, Lelouch had marked out exactly here the paramedics were situated and joined the rest of the teachers in quickly pre-empting the sale of small squibs containing explosive powder by the Science Club.

They had almost rounded up all the illegal explosives when the next catastrophe occurred and the teachers were tasked to sort out the mess.

The mini pet fair with the students bringing in their pets had to have been Milly’s idea. It just had to be.

Hearsay, rumour and gossip had pin-pointed the cause as a single escaped rabbit. Which had caused someone’s terrier to chase after it excitedly. And that had resulted in a lot of cats escaping from their owners. The felines were currently running around upsetting things and inducing heart-attacks in the rabbits and guinea pigs.

Lelouch was busy chasing down someone’s escaped hamster when he bumped into the physical education teacher who was haring after someone’s runaway cat.

“Oh sorry Lelouch!” Shirley exclaimed, scooping up the hamster as it bounded right into her hands. The cat had scaled Lelouch’s suit and he had grabbed it instinctively when it tried to flee.

“It’s all right, we got these two . . .” He looked around at the chaos. “Just another . . . few dozen furry beasts to round up.”

“I have my boys and girls from the Swimming Club helping as well,” Shirley said proudly as they deposited their catches into their respective cages.

Which explained the additional excitement from the student body who knew that anything involving a bunch of nubile teenagers running around in their swimsuits was worth watching. It all got out of hand when a few cats chased some student’s white mice into the school hall where the Crafts Festival was being held. The felines leapt from table to table, crashing through the displays of questionable content and hard work alike.

There was a terrible howl from Jeremiah when his one-twentieth scale model of the Colosseum constructed purely of matchsticks was knocked off its stand by a ballistic cat. The noise startled another cat into leaping straight at the metal-domed robot that the Science Club and Crafts Club had collaborated on.

“Oh hell,” Cornelia muttered at the cat’s landing broke the antenna clean off the top of the machine. “There go the controls for steering.”

The fully-functional one-tenth replica of Tachikoma continued to motor forwards, unresponsive to its remote controller and oblivious to the petrified black cat on its carapace. Pets, students and teachers got out of its way as it ploughed into the nearest wall, where it flailed for a bit before it stopped moving at last.

When Lelouch made it to the scene behind the other teachers, panting and out of breath, the cat had been rescued from its perch by Kururugi Suzaku from 3B and the wall had sustained a dent. There appeared to be no human causalities except for said student who was nursing a wounded hand.

“Ow! Arthur!” Suzaku exclaimed. His hand, already sporting several plasters of several different designs, was being savaged by the black cat.

“That’s your cat, isn’t it? Why is it biting you?” Kallen asked.

“He’s a usually very gentle,” Suzaku said ruefully, “to everyone except me.”

“Aaa, you better let me hold him while you get hand sorted out,” Kallen muttered, aware that the teachers were around and avidly watching a student getting mauled by his own cat was not encouraged.

Sure enough, the cat calmed down when Kallen took him away from Suzaku.

“Anyone got a plaster or band-aid?” he asked the spectators.

“Oh all right,” C.C. said, grudgingly producing a strip. “It’s my last Cheese-kun band-aid, so you’d better appreciate it.”

“What is happening here?” Milly asked, popping up like a jack-in-the-box amidst the crowd.

“It’s Suzaku’s cat, Ms. Ashford--”

“Call me Milly,” said Milly. “That looks bad. You’d better got to the sick bay, Suzaku.”

“I’m sure it’s not that serious--”

“No, no, no--safety first!” Milly declared. She cast about for a suitable vict--volunteer and her eyes lit on Lelouch. “Right, First Aid IC--take Suzaku to the sick-bay, chop chop!”

“It’s really not that bad--I get bitten all the time--”

“Get that seen to at once!” Milly insisted before waving her hands impatiently at the crowd of onlookers. “Show’s over. Someone clean up this mess and straighten up that machine . . . and the wall . . . Erm, we have an event to run, people! Chop chop!”

“Sorry for the inconvenience, Sensei,” Suzaku said. “Arthur just got a little more excited than usual--”

“More likely he knows you deserve it,” Kallen muttered over Arthur’s head.

“Better make sure that cat doesn’t have rabies,” C.C. said helpfully in passing as the students started to clear the mess up.

“Arthur doesn’t have rabies,” Suzaku protested, taking the cat back from Kallen. “Has anyone seen his carrier?”

Lelouch watched in semi-fascination as the black cat looked up at its human and promptly chomped down on the remaining two unbitten digits.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Milly might be overenthusiastic to a fault, but she could pull together like nobody’s business. She had the students, teachers and some unlucky bystanders roped into the clean-up operation.

“What’s the current pool?” Kallen asked Kaguya as they swept up the plaster and paint flakes.

“Three to one odds on Jeremiah asking Sayoko out before they finish cleaning up. But that’s been put on hold for now,” Kaguya whispered, looking over her shoulder for teachers. In the corner, kinder souls were talking to a distraught Jeremiah. “Two to one on Viletta asking Ougi out before he gets the nerve to ask her first.”

“What are the odds of Suzaku doing Sensei in the sick-bay?” C.C. asked.

Kaguya looked at her in surprise. “That’s practically a given, C.C.--the current bet is on how. Nothing happens is currently at twenty to one.”

“Put me down for . . . a sixty-nine.” C.C. put her head to one side, considering. “And Sayoko picks Jeremiah’s pieces up by the end of the day.”

“All right. One gets you six for a sixty-nine in the sick-bay.” Kaguya whipped out a small notebook to record the bet. “Offside bet--one gets you twenty. And you, Kallen?”

“I dunno . . . missionary?”

“Okay . . . One gets you two for the missionary position.”

“Hold on,” Kallen said suddenly. “Who’s going to confirm all that?”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Suzaku left Arthur in his carrier with the other pets in their makeshift corral before he went to the sick-bay with Lelouch.

The sick-bay was a clean, airy space with partitioned off beds and a heavily locked cabinet of medical supplies--it was New Britannia High after all.

“We should wash those bites first,” Lelouch said, rolling up his shirt sleeves. The new teachers had all gone for basic first aid training a month ago--he just hoped that he would remember what to do. “I hope you’re right about your cat not having rabies.”

“That would be bad,” Suzaku said slowly, “because he’s been biting me since the day I found him on the street two years ago.”

“Well, yes,” Lelouch said, trying not to flush as he pulled off the various plasters to reveal the earlier bites. “Some of these broke the skin, so we’ll use the antiseptic to wash them out . . .”

“Sensei is such a nice person,” Suzaku said, watching as Lelouch got a basin to mix the antiseptic with clean water.

It was always a bad idea to be alone with Suzaku in school. Lelouch had learned this lesson long before. He fought to maintain his professional demeanor as he took Suzaku’s hand and started cleaning the wounds.

“Just doing my job,” he muttered, swabbing the bites with antiseptic-soaked gauze. Suzaku’s fingers were warm against the palm of his hand.

Trying to ignore those fingers, Lelouch concentrated on the task at hand. Gauze bandage or plaster dressing? He went with the bandage, wrapping the bites with gauze strips and securing it with tape. “There, that should do it.”

“When I was younger, my mother would always kiss my bruises to make them better,” Suzaku said with a look of hopeful innocence that Lelouch did not trust one bit. Not at all.

“You don’t expect me to--”

“Please?”

“Oh all right,” Lelouch said grudging and quickly dropped a kiss on Suzaku’s palm. “There, is that enough?”

It was enough for Suzaku. Before Lelouch could even blink, Suzaku had dragged him to the nearest bed and drew the curtains around it so that they were partitioned off from the rest of the room.

“This is the sick-bay! What if someone comes in?” Lelouch hissed, dodging Suzaku’s mouth. “They’re bound to che--mmmmh!”

The rest of his sentence was buried in the open-mouthed kiss. Suzaku’s lips were warm and distractingly soft on his own as he tried to protest but that only caused their tongues to bump into each other. His objections were shoved aside as the kiss deepened.

“They’ll be too busy cleaning up and getting the show back on track to remember we’re here,” Suzaku said reassuringly as he tugged Lelouch down onto the bed. “Lie back down, Sensei.”

“I should get back,” Lelouch said, sitting up. “You should stay put and rest.”

“Ms. Ashford would never suspect you of goofing off.” Suzaku pressed him back down gently.

“I’m on first-aid duty--”

“The paramedics will usually take care of the serious cases.” Suzaku had to sit on Lelouch’s bony hips to pin him down.

“Is it that dangerous every year?” Lelouch asked plaintively as he fought a losing battle against Suzaku’s special brand of persuasion.

“No deaths yet,” Suzaku said optimistically. “Just that broken arm and a few lacerations last year--”

“Good grief--”

“And the freak accident with the candy floss machine in the year before last,” Suzaku added reflectively. "That's why they're so careful . . . to avoid lawsuits."

“I don’t want to know,” Lelouch muttered as Suzaku loosened his tie with deft fingers.

“You probably don’t,” Suzaku agreed, lifting himself off Lelouch’s hips and gently massaging the tops of his thighs. “It scares off new teachers.”

After five months into his current job, Lelouch did not entirely qualified as “new”. Easily surprised perhaps, but not new. He liked to think that he had survived at New Britannia High longer than other teachers, but he was still shocked by how quickly Suzaku could go from to rueful to randy in under two minutes.

Lelouch also wondered why he was here, in the sick bay, with a boy who was trying to get into his pants. A boy who was very good at getting into his pants, in fact. Trying not to make an undignified noise as Suzaku ground against him, Lelouch knew he was flushing like the virgin he was definitely not after these five months.

He was beginning to lose count of the number of times they had conducted illicit trysts in various places all over the school. They had usually started like this though. With Suzaku’s lips on the skin of his neck and the teasing touches that made him grit his teeth against the onslaught of desire that welled up within him.

“Nnnh . . .” Lelouch covered his mouth with his hands when Suzaku pushed his trousers down and pressed his cheek against the rapidly swelling erection that was tenting his black underwear.

“Lelouch-sensei’s so cute,” Suzaku said, the warmth of his breath tickling the sensitive organ next to his face. With the ease of experience, he slipped off the clinging material of the tight briefs Lelouch was so fond. “Let me take care of that for you, Sensei . . .”

Drawing in a sharp breath as Suzaku took his cock into his mouth, Lelouch tried very hard not to push his hips up. This time, however, Suzaku paused after a moment and looked up at Lelouch.

“Want to try something new, Sensei?” Suzaku asked. “Since we’ve got a bed for once . . .”

The lack of a bed in most encounters had been a noticeable trend, Lelouch realised dimly even as parts of him impatiently awaited the return of that warm, welcoming mouth.

Taking his half-vocalised moan as an assent, Suzaku shifted around and swung his leg over Lelouch’s torso. “We’ve never tried it this way before, Sensei.”

“Because . . . uh, it was never like this . . .” Lelouch muttered, looking up at Suzaku’s freed member dangling in front of his face. It was both familiar and odd at the same time because of what had transpired over the past few months. Tentatively, he licked the drop of pre-cum from the head of Suzaku’s cock. Humming agreeably around his own mouthful, Suzaku lowered his hips.

Encouraged, Lelouch opened his mouth to draw him in. He choked slightly as the head brushed the back of his throat, pressing back into the mattress in order to let himself adjust.

Suzaku, being in a better position for this, was alternating between sucking and licking him. Lelouch could barely concentrate enough to reciprocate. He tried his best though, using his hands to stroke Suzaku’s sac. By the sound of it, he was doing well enough.

However, Suzaku had a few tricks up his sleeve. Lelouch groaned as a finger wormed its way inside him. When his prostrate was stimulated, he almost jumped off the bed as a mind-numbing shock of pleasure jolted through his body.

“S-suzaku!” Lelouch twisted against the sheets, sweat trickling from his brow. “--Nnck!”

“Mmm . . .” Suzaku slipped in a second finger and pressed down--

“Nnnhhh! Aaa!” Lelouch could not control the volume of his cries as he came, suddenly and urgently into Suzaku’s mouth.

Swallowing, Suzaku drained him even as he thrust his hips impatiently against Lelouch’s face as his own pleasure became more pressing. Coming back down to earth again, Lelouch sealed his lips around the warm member in his mouth and sucked him in deeper. Suzaku had the advantage of youth and athleticism on his side, but he was still a teenager.

“Sensei,” Suzaku murmured, sounding a little strained. “I’m going to come--”

Thus warned, Lelouch was nevertheless taken off guard as Suzaku ejaculated into his mouth. Gagging round a mouthful of semen, Lelouch turned his head, embarrassed by this intimate exchange as the sticky strings of cum dribbled down his chin.

“--and three! Now Kallen!” The curtains were suddenly ripped aside and they were both blinded by a bright flash from the camera.

“What the hell--”

“Run for it, Kallen, I’ll hold him off!” Kaguya said, grabbing some of their clothes from where they had slipped off the bed. Kallen made a break for it even as Suzaku scrambled upright quickly.

“Kaguya--”

“Oh no, not another step or else your pants go out the window,” Kaguya said, backing away slowly with the clothes in hand. “I’ll leave these at the door when I get out.”

“Kaguya!” Suzaku protested, knowing from past experience just how ruthless his cousin could get. “You’re out of line--”

“Put the family jewels away first, Suzaku. Hi, Sensei!” she chirped to the quaking heap under the sheets behind Suzaku. “We’ll destroy the negatives afterwards, I promise.”

“You’d better,” Suzaku said. His shirttails prevented Kaguya from getting an eyeful of the family jewels--a fact he was eternally grateful for.

“Swear it on my doujinshi collection,” Kaguya said solemnly as she reached the door. “Remember to lock the door, Suzaku--you’re getting sloppy.”

After she had left, Suzaku retrieved his trousers and locked the door. Lelouch-sensei was still hiding under the blanket.

“It’ll be all right,” Suzaku said, coming back to sit down on the bed. A moment later, the sheets shifted. Emerging from his cocoon, red-faced and unnerved, Lelouch-sensei looked mortified. “She keeps her promises--”

“You’re crazy,” Lelouch said, sucking in a deep breath. “Your cousin is a menace. Your classmates are deranged--possibly criminally so--”

“Not really, they’re just . . . spirited,” Suzaku said, not actually denying the first two accusations. “It won’t happen again--”

“No, this can’t go on,” Lelouch said, sitting up abruptly. “I’m not going to be an--an exhibition for the whole school to gawk at!”

“But Sensei--”

“Not in school. Not anymore,” Lelouch said firmly. If it was going to be so easier to be found out, he could not risk it . . .

Suzaku blinked and looked like a kicked puppy. Lelouch-sensei was serious. He had not complained about the white streaks on his face and glasses or about his rumpled suit. But he looked up a moment later with a gleam in his eye that did not bode well in Lelouch’s limited experience.

“So . . . does that mean that I have to come for private tutoring, Sensei? I failed my last English test . . .”

“So did two thirds of the class!”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Arthur frankly did not care about his human’s doings so long as he got fed on time. But his human had been rather tardy of late. Always coming back late and smelling like the human equivalent of sex . . .

And Arthur was all for his human getting some, just not when it was feeding time.

So he had to bring his human back in line. After all, he knew his human probably did not get old rubbish thrown at him for trying to get laid.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After Sayoko managed to talk Jeremiah out of the toilet stall at the end of the day, C.C. won the betting pool and insisted that her winnings came in denominations of ten and twenty-dollar Pizza Hut vouchers.

Kaguya had promised not to pull another stunt like that for Suzaku had unsubtly threatened to torch her doujinshi collection if she even thought about sneaking around to his place with a camera.

Arthur was royally cheesed-off that Suzaku was spending far too much time at “private tuition” in the evenings instead of giving him dinner early. He chewed holes in Suzaku’s socks in retaliation, but it is unlikely that his human noticed.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Notes:
Arthur remains in character in the way that only Arthur can.