Everything I Want

Part 4

“He has amnesia.”

“I know that! Fuck. I can see that, what I want to know is if it’s permanent!”

I always knew Duo could be loud but bitchy and sarcastic all at once, well that was new. And he was that way with Sally of all people.

I was just sitting and watching the whole scene play out in my hospital room in a Winner facility and of course that meant Quatre was there, with Trowa, that was a given. And since Sally was involved so was Wufei. It was a fucking Pilot “reunion”.

Quatre was trying to calm Duo down, Wufei was getting pissed at him for being pissy with Sally, Sally was on her last nerve, and Trowa was just watching for anyone to try something with Quatre. What a nice little circle they had.

They were all older, I just couldn’t seem to get over that.

Sally still had the braids and attitude, nothing really changed there, she had already been grown when we had met her.

Quatre had gotten tall and gotten rid of those pink shirts and vests, thank god, his hair was a little longer and frazzled after his long day. He was still wearing his business suit, no more baby fat for him. His face was lean, eyes more guarded, but still heavy with kindness. He was still Quatre.

Trowa on the other hand had changed the most. Still topping all of us in height in the 6 feet range, head of Quatre’s security and an on-call Preventer, he was still lean and thin as an acrobat. He wore serviceable clothes and shoes that just looked fancy but could easily go to lower class to upper scale no matter where he was. Always an infiltrator. His face was mainly the same, just more sharper, with laugh lines around his green eyes, face not as emotionless, more relaxed.

Wufei was still a somewhat pompous ass but more calm, less prone to easy depression or sudden rages. He was always the most unstable among us, I’m glad to see that weakness was eliminated. He was slightly taller than Quatre at 5”6’. He had kinder eyes though, his hair was longer too and he apparently wore it down usually except on missions, it was down now. He was still in his Preventer uniform, I have to admit it suited him.

Then there was Duo.

Where do I start. I had to consciously keep my heart from beating when he was around. I was still hooked up to the monitor and I didn’t want anyone to discover my weakness.

He was tall, couple inches taller than Wufei but still shorter than Trowa. It was probably from his American heritage. His skin was slightly tanned from when he must had visited Earth. He had lost his puffy cheeks like Quatre had, and instead had high cheekbones and slightly long face that came to a slightly pointed chin there was even a hint of stubble there. His nose had a slight bump, it had been broken in an OZ prison. His eyes were even more purple now, still expressive. His hair had gotten longer, he could sit on it now if he wasn’t careful and I’m sure he had.

He looked-I shook my head. No way was I going there. What was wrong with me anyway?

I was suddenly back into their conversation.

“He was hurt pushing me out of the way of falling suit scrap! If I had been watching or taken out my ear plugs-”

“You always were an unobservant baka.”

“Shut up, Heero!” He snapped then seemed to remember who he yelled at and cringed. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “I am being an ass, aren’t I?”

Wufei snorted, “About time you noticed.”

He just sighed and slumped into the nearest chair, face falling into his hands.

Something twitched in my chest and I suddenly had this horrible yearning to take him in my arms and tell him it would be alright. I mentally berated myself, what the fuck was wrong with me if my older self was yearning after Duo? Although he was good looking. Ga! Stop it!

“Did you explain anything to Heero before calling us in a fright?” Quatre asked, tipping his head a little to the side.

Duo peeked between his fingers and gave a sheepish smile.

Quatre sighed. “I thought not.”

“Sorry I’m such a dumbass.” Duo muttered sulkily.

Quatre turned to me and pierced me with those eyes. It made me uneasy, it reminded me of Zero. “So, Heero, what do you know?”

“He doesn’t know-”

Quatre glared at Duo and he shut up and rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Quatre turned back to me and raised his eyebrow. He must have learned that from Trowa.

“Apparently I lost my memory by pushing Duo out of the way from some scrap metal. I must have regressed to when I had a previous trauma, since the last thing I remember was shooting at Mariemeia in AC 196. But looking at all of you,” I let my eyes travel them thoroughly, “It’s been a couple of years. How long I don’t know. And Dr. Po doesn’t know whether I’ll regain my memories or not.”

They just all stared at me, but I avoided Duo’s eyes.

Sally sighed, “Perceptive as ever, Heero. Let’s fill you in on a few things.” She drew up a chair and sat beside my bed. “After the Mariemeia incident you left once you recovered, Duo saw you off. You traveled for six years and no one heard from you until you resurfaced three weeks ago at Duo’s house and started to work with him at the Salvage Yard.” She sighed and looked his strait in the eyes. “I don’t have six years of medical information, Heero, so I don’t know if anything else occurred that could hinder your recovery so I’m not sure if you will recover your memories at all, I’m sorry.”

I felt the anxiety in the room grow but looked Sally right in the eye and nodded. What could she do really anyway. She had already done as much as she could, it was all up to him now and if he really wanted to remember at all.

“Thank you.” And that was the end of it.

“I suggest you stay with someone until you get all the information and catch up on the six years your missing.” Sally stood up, “I’ll leave the rest up to you.” With that she left, closing the door.

I watched the four warily, they were all looking at eachother, I felt another battle coming. Sometimes I really hated being in the same time zone as them, so loud. I started mentally preparing myself. If any tried to pull “you’re a kid” I’d rip them a new one.

“Heero, you can come home with me I-”

“Ro’s coming home with me.” Duo’s voice had an edge to it as he glared up at Quatre.

Quatre just looked at him. “Do you think that’s wise? After all he did get hurt in your Yard.”

Duo growled. “So I’ll keep him away from the Yard, but who knows, another knock on the head could get him his memories back.”

“Duo!”

Duo just grinned at him, “Don’t worry, Quat, I’m not going to purposely hit him over the head with a pan or anything.”

I watched him out of the corner of my eye. I wasn’t so sure on that one.

“But-” Trowa laid a hand on Quatre’s shoulder and just looked at him.

“Maybe we should let Heero decide where he wants to go.”

Thank Duo’s god for a voice of reason.

They all looked at me expectantly. I knew Wufei lived in the Preventers dorm so he was out. Quatre would snuggle and bundle me up in one of his remote houses so I wouldn’t get hurt. Trowa never went against Quatre so- I looked at my only avenue of escape with purple eyes.

“I’ll go with Duo.”

Duo let out a whoop of joy and bounced on me. “You won’t regret this, ‘ro.”

As he was squeezing me I was already regretting it. My heart was doing funny little flip flops in my chest. I had forgotten about those. I didn’t even notice my body tensing up until he quickly let go, not looking in my eyes with a sheepish smile on his face.

“I forgot. You don’t like to be touched do you?”

I could see everyone’s face, I think it really just dawned on them that I was the “old” Heero, antisocial and all. I think I broke more than just one heart that day.

I saw the smile Duo forced on his face, it hurt me to look at it. I wanted the true one, the one that I saw as soon as I woke up I was about to open my mouth to say something but he beat me to it.

“I’ll just get those release papers.” Then he was gone, just like that. It left something empty behind where my heart should be.

Wufei came up to me and I watched him as he pulled out a card with his name on it. “Here’s my office phone,” He flipped it over, “My house and cell, call if you need anything.”

I took the card. “Thank you, Wufei.”

He nodded and left. Sort, sweet, and to the point, some things never change.

I looked back around, sensing Quatre beside me. Trowa had slipped out as well.

“You’re hurting.” His voice was low and soft. I had forgotten about his “space heart”.

I shrugged. I was always in pain of one form or another, this wasn’t any different.

“I don’t mean physical pain, Heero.”

I never thought he did. That was too obvious.

Quatre sighed. “It really is like going back six years.” He gave a dry laugh. “Here, take this.”

I took the card he offered, it was similar to Wufei’s. I checked the back. Home, and personal cell so I could contact him at any time. How thoughtful.

I looked back up at him and the eyes were the same as I remembered, no guarding, no wariness, just pure Quatre. I was in deep shit.

“He’s hurting too, you know.”

That confused me. Who else was hurting?

Quatre just gave a little shake of his head, “You’ll figure it out in time. You probably already had. Goodbye, Heero, I wish you the best of luck.” Then he was gone and I was alone again.

…

I started to fidget, I couldn’t help it, it’s not natural for me to just sit and do nothing.

Everyone had been gone for a while and a nurse had just been in to remove the monitor and check to make everything else was working. Nobody would be looking in on me for awhile so I decided to explore.

I moved off the bed and grimaced at the paper dress I was wearing, what was it with hospitals and open assed suits? Well, there was no helping it so I just tied the back closed as best I could and snuck out of the room.

Duo said he was going to get release papers so he would try there first.

He walked down a couple of halls before he saw a nurse coming out of a side doorway. He ducked behind a trolley and waited for her to pass.

He was about to stand and resume his search when he heard a familure voice.

“Here, drink this.” A cup clinking against a table.

Wufei?

“Thanks, but I think I need something stronger.”

Duo? His interest was peeked. He stayed where he was.

“Tough, this is a hospital the last thing they need is for you to be running around drunk.”

A dark chuckle, “Yeah, remember last time?”

“Yeah. Sally had a cow.”

“It was just a joke.”

“I’m not even going into that one. She’d castrate me for even bringing that up.”

There was silence for a while and the sound of drinking.

“You’re not taking this as well as you would like everyone to believe are you?”

A stifled choke. “You can tell?”

“Of course, when you called me you were practically in a mass hysteria, I’m sure Quatre could tell too since he got down here so fast and ditched the Board meeting.”

A small sob, “Oh, Hell, Wufei, you should have seen him, if he hadn’t had his helmet on he would have been dead. And-and then when he woke up-”

Duo was crying now, though he could still hear the words through the tears.

“I-I thought my heart would break when he call me 02.”

Wufei made soothing sounds as Duo continued to cry.

I just froze and in that moment I would have given anything to remember just to make him stop.

I heard the clanking of shoes down the hallway and quickly made it back to my room. I just couldn’t stand my heart hurting anymore, maybe a little distance would help.