Perceptions

There were three things in life that could never be hidden for long, according to the Buddha. Those three things were the sun, the moon, and the truth. When Dee first heard that saying (or read, as it was on a bookmark(1) he purchased when buying books for that simian brat, Bikky, to read), he knew it to be true. Clouds could always obscure the sun and the moon, the moon may go dark for a few days because of its phases, but they never stayed hidden long.

It was the same for the truth. With a little digging at times, the truth revealed itself to the world, and Dee often prided himself on his ability to see the truth and be able to dig it out when needed. There was just one thing the Buddha forgot to mention.

The truth also hurt. The truth could slice a man to the bone with the razor sharpness, leaving him with an emotional wound so devastating, so debilitating, he could not breathe. His world collapsed and shattered around him.

At least, that is how Dee felt when he saw Ryo with him, with Commissioner Rose. The scent of Rose's cologne had hung heavily over Ryo one day as well as something . . . else, something Dee recognized yet could not put a name to, and it was how he was tipped off to their activities. He started to follow them, to be as discreet as he possibly could for there was nothing he could not accomplish once he set his mind to something.

It had been an hour, maybe longer, after Dee had caught them in their tryst, yet he had not confronted them. They were in the middle of a stake-out, and to confront them would be to endanger the child prostitution/slave ring they were trying to tear apart. Even with his heart shattering and jealousy raging through his blood, Dee would never do anything to allow criminals to walk free. So now he sat in front of his apartment complex, the rain soaking him to his flesh. The ache in his heart felt more surely to drown him, to suffocate him with his sorrows than the rain. The rain hid his tears anyway.

What had changed? Why had Ryo gone to the Commissioner, of all people? Was it something Dee said or did not say? Was it something he did or did not do? Was he ignoring Ryo's needs? Dee did not think he had done so, but what he thought and the actual truth of the matter were two different things. What was he to do now? Should he keep quiet on what he saw? He could not pretend he had not seen them kissing and undressing each other. He could not pretend he had not seen the look of pure and unadulterated bliss on Ryo's face as Rose pounded himself into Ryo's body. Everything had been there. How could he pretend he had not seen? Should he confront Ryo about what he had seen? Did he want to confront his partner? He still loved and desired Ryo above all others. It had been a long time since he felt such a strong emotional bond with another person. He did not want to lose that. To lose Ryo would be to feel abandoned all over again, and Dee did not want to be abandoned, either. Knowing that he had been left to die by his biological parents cut him deeply. Losing Jesse and Arnon had as well. What would he do if Ryo decided to leave him without him saying a word?

As he sat on the cold stone leading into the building, with his heart aching and threatening to kill him where he was, something inside of Dee fell. Whether it was truly his heart or his soul, he was not certain but he felt it the moment it fell. It reminded him of his first vacation with Ryo, before Commissioner Rose entered their lives, when he saw the spirit of the innkeeper's daughter in the middle of the lobby. There had been a scent in the air then, too, only he and Bikky had been too terrified to notice it right away, the scent of blood.

Upon it tickling his senses, Dee glanced up . . .

1 - The quote is on a bookmark that I own. I thought it was a great way to start this little drabble piece.