Coming Out

“What the fuck goes through your mind when you get like this?” Gojyo’s voice carried through the town as they entered, even Jeep threatened to groan at the sound of the ongoing arguments.

“That’s rich,” Sanzo lit up, “you were the one making a pass at some random fucking woman walking along the road. How many times do I have you tell your dumb kappa ass, even the women are dangerous. We don’t have time for your stupid antics!”

“My antics? MINE!” Gojyo yelled. “You’ve been in a shit ass mood since we left town and…”

Goku was the one that stopped the fight, before Gojyo opened his mouth and said something they knew Sanzo wouldn’t want publicised. He grabbed the redhead’s long bangs and yanked.

“I’m hungry! Shut up and find somewhere.” Goku muttered, his stomach rumbled and the three men looked at him. With some form of minor truce called Hakkai was finally able to drive into the town to find somewhere for them to stay.

The four men headed into the Inn, the only room was a common room so the four would have to share. Gojyo made an internal monologue about the shitty situation and threw his bag on a bed in the corner. Hakkai waited for the others before finally settling down, Sanzo had made a point of picking the bed near the window, opening it and sitting with the local paper and his smokes.

“I’m going to see what the market has to offer, would you want anything?” Hakkai looked at them.

“I wanna come!” Goku jumped up, food was far more important.

“See if you can get beers and smokes.” Sanzo threw his card that way. “And don’t get into trouble monkey.”

“Okay Sanzo.” The large grin across his face did little to make anyone feel assured about that however.

Once they had gone Gojyo lay down on the bed, arms behind his head and closed his eyes. Sanzo had been in a foul mood but so had Gojyo and it wasn’t right, they had enough problems being stuck with yokai on their tail, then there was the other issue that without Hakkai’s limiters, and Goku’s, everyone knew the minus wave was there. He sighed, he loved Hakkai’s free nature with him too, he longed for a day they could enjoy the idea of taking those damned trinkets off and getting down to some real dirty sex.

Sanzo looked over as he heard the sigh, immediately his thoughts were that Gojyo really had got fed up with him and his mood. The problem was Sanzo couldn’t really back down from it because it left him vulnerable and it was something the monk really didn’t like the idea of. Sanzo watched with the same cool violet eyes, smoking the last of his cigarette and then stubbing it out before arranging a coffee.

“Thinking doesn’t suit you.” Sanzo said after a long silence.

“No but sometimes I don’t get a choice in the matter.” Gojyo said softly, his eyes still closed as he tried to relax.

“I am guessing you want to blame me for that.” The monk snapped, lighting up again.

“I did not say that,” Gojyo opened his eyes and looked over at him, “but yes. I don’t understand why you are so pissed off with me, I haven’t made an issue out of your “mistake” and I haven’t pushed about it.”

“Why haven’t you?” Sanzo looked at him, he looked as young as he truly was and Gojyo felt a pang of guilt about it for no reason he could explain.

“Because we’re four guys in a jeep for the most part, we’re under each others feet and we’re supposed to be friends. Which means,” the redhead sat up and looked at him, “that we’re likely to have fights and uncomfortable moments. Hells it would have been easier if you’d just walked in on me and someone having sex. Least I would have had a reason to feel like shit over it.”

“I see.” Sanzo sighed. “Gojyo I really shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

“Well fuck me,” Gojyo looked at him surprised, that was nearly an apology, “Sanzo… I adore ya but I got my own needs and I’m not sure you’d like any of them or want them. You need to work out what you want.”

“I want you.” Sanzo muttered. “I don’t know why, I can’t work it out I just know… I want something more with you.”

“I can’t offer you that.” Gojyo said softly, his eyes to his in earnest. “I can’t commit to someone like that.”

“Then don’t commit.” Sanzo’s steely gaze looked at him too. “Just do whatever it is you want to do with me, if anything. Just… for fuck’s sake make this go away, perhaps after it’s over I won’t be left wondering how the hell you and Hakkai can do that to each other.”

Gojyo was left with his mouth open, shocked. Was Sanzo jealous or simply desperate to know what they did? He was as confused as the young human. Gojyo finally sighed and lay back down on the bed, closing his eyes, great now he had even MORE to think about.

Sanzo got up and headed to the bathroom with red flushed cheeks, he hadn’t meant it to come out like that, he just wanted to see what so many people saw in that redhead and it was made all the more confusing that he had heard the two of them one morning, the sneaking off had started to make him suspicious he had followed to find Hakkai on his knees, sucking Gojyo off and it had just led him to wonder how someone with such a love of women would want that.