The Mello Code

Thank you everyone who contributed questions. As my gift to you, for 1000 hits on \'The Mello Code\', I have been contacting people left, right and centre to get answers for you. Here is how it went.



My first stop was Wammy\'s House, where I was met by the warden, Hal Lidner. Something that you don\'t quite get from the manga or the anime is how tall this woman is. She would tower over me by a good six inches in her stockinged feet, so once she adds heels, I feel like a midget. Once we are both sitting down, with cups of tea steaming on the table between us, I understand the charisma of this woman. She is at once friendly, welcoming, professional and very slightly intimidating. Nevertheless, she jokes about being worried about what questions are in store for her and adjusts the laptop, upon which she will call those for whom security issues mean that I cannot meet personally.



Hal agrees to start with those questions asked to her personally. Both questions, in their own ways, make me squirm a little inside, now that she is looking at me. The American lady just sits with perfect poise and smiles reassurance.



Matti: Mello tells Matt that Near had a breakdown a month after they defeated Kira. What happened?



Hal: Ah, you started with the doosy. I have spoken with Mello about passing on this information, though I should have known that he would have told Matt. I can\'t really tell him off for that, when I was the one who told Mello in the first place.



It wasn\'t a month later. It was within days, whilst we were still in Japan. How it transpired was that Near took to his room. Near does like to keep himself to himself, but usually he does that in the centre of the room in which we are all working. As he hadn\'t been seen all day, Rester went to check on him. Near was in bed, in an obvious state of distress. He claimed not to want to see any of us nor to eat. Rester stayed with him for some time anyway, but eventually emerged to admit defeat. I also tried to speak with Near, but he really did just want to be left alone. I ordered a meal to be taken in for him, but it was untouched.



This continued for the whole of the next day. On the third day, Rester contacted the Watari Network to seek advice. He was asked to break Near, in top security arrangements, to Wammy\'s House. At first, Near did not want to go. Then, about an hour later, he left his room for the first time with his bag packed. Rester flew with him to England, but was not allowed to remain with him at the institution. He reported that Near was taken through a backdoor and, to the best of his knowledge, Near\'s presense in the House was not communicated to the children.



Just under three weeks later, Rester was asked to fly to England again to accompany Near back to the New York headquarters. He did so and Near did not speak to us about what had happened in Winchester. He did, however, appear far more settled and no longer as upset.



Matti: Would you like to get romantically/sexually involved with Mello?



Hal: *laughs* Mello?! Are you aware that Mello is gay?



Matti: *laughs too* Yes, I think that we\'re all aware of that. But if he wasn\'t...?



Hal: I think that Mello and I wouldn\'t last ten minutes in a relationship without wanting to kill each other. That said, we did live together for a week once, during the Kira case, and there was the potential there for us co-existing reasonably peacefully. I do like an orderly home and he can be surprisingly domesticated. I doubt I could put up with his outbursts on a permenant basis though.



Matti: Erm, the question was more about romance and sex than actually living together.



Hal: I know, but it was a good try, nontheless? *laughs* Yes, I think he might be an exciting partner. Most of the people I\'ve dated in the past have been too, how shall I put it? Wet. Stuffy. Either that or totally off the wall. Mello could well fit the bill for someone with a bit of a spark to them, but who would also not leave clothes all over my bedroom floor. That is a pet peeve of mine.



Matti: So, if Mello wasn\'t gay, you could quite fancy a bit of him?



Hal: *embarrassed laughter* Ok! I give in. Yes, I\'d give it a try.



Matti: Thank you, Hal.



Hal graciously connected me to the Watari Network. It was quite a thrill to see that interface, with the letters in Old English font along the top, and to know that not only could I contact any of them, but we were about to do just that. I had the same questions for all of them, with a couple extras for some.



We started with Luigi, as he had indicated to Hal that he was going out and it would be inconvenient to speak with him later. Despite the voice distortion, I could tell that Luigi spoke English in the same Estuary accent that was a hallmark of many Wammy\'s House alumni. It was mostly a sign that the individual had arrived speaking in their own mother-tongue and had learned the English language under Roger Ruvie\'s tuition. Luigi was extremely hesitant in answering any questions. I often wondered if he had even heard me, as long moments stretched out before a response. When he did communicate, I found myself prompting him constantly for more information, whilst really feeling the need to positively encourage him. I hope that this ultimately did complete the questions asked of Luigi.



Matti: Luigi, thank you for agreeing to speak to me. I have been asked to enquire about music classes at Wammy\'s House, as you were growing up here. Were there any?



Luigi: Erm, music theory, music history, music in popular culture, music as a sacred medium, mathematics and musical scores, music and codex interpretation. Probably more. It will be in the records.



Matti: That\'s a lot of classes. Were they just one-off, hour long lectures or something?



Luigi: No. Erm, full courses.



Matti: Did everyone take them?



Luigi: Yes.



Matti: You had a pretty full-on education.



Luigi: Erm, yes.



Matti: I think what Josephine, the person contributing this question, was asking was about classes in actually playing instruments. Did you have those?



Luigi: Yes.



Matti: Did you all have to learn to play specific instruments or could you choose? Was there, for example, a potential Wammy\'s House orchestra?



Luigi: Christ, no.



Matti: Ok.



Luigi: We all had to learn to play the piano, but then we could choose another instrument. The piano was used to teach us to read music.



Matti: Did you have to attain a certain level of proficiency?



Luigi: We were all expected to reach grade 8 on the piano.



Matti: And how was that?



Luigi: It was easy.



Matti: Thank you for your time. Oh! Sorry! Which other instrument, or instruments plural, did you learn to play? Besides the piano?



Luigi: I gained one grade on the violin before... stopping. I briefly mastered a drum-kit. Later on, I gained the first five grades in the bassoon.



Matti: Thank you. I\'ve also been asked to find out how you are and what you are up to these days.



Luigi: How I am? *small chuckle* Right. I am well, thank you very much.



Matti: Great! And what are you doing?



Luigi: This and that. Working on cases.



Matti: Any that you can tell us about?



Luigi: Hal can show you.



There was really very little more that I could get out of Luigi. Hal did, indeed, show me. Luigi is downright prolific in solving cases that arrive via the MayDay Line on the Watari Network. Only Deontic has solved more. For the sake of completeness, I did ask Hal to show me the most recent case worked on by Luigi. It was a request for economic advice by a politician in New Zealand. The information was to be passed onto the CEO of one of their national banks. Luigi\'s response made it clear that he believed that the question was from the Chancellor of the Exchequer, not a bank, but nontheless provided an answer.



Hal allowed me to choose who we spoke to next. I opted for Fenian, as I had several questions and messages for him. They were all expecting our call, but it still took Fenian several minutes to respond to it. He gave no excuses, but otherwise struck me as a fairly polite, young man. His accent sang with the soft brogue of Galway. He did not have a voice distortion device switched on.



Matti: Fenian, thank you for talking to me. First of all, I have a message for you from Melissa. She asked me to tell you: \'I don\'t really have a question for you at this time. I\'d just like you to know that I think you\'re a very pretty man, and you need more appearances in the series. Stay beautiful.\'



Fenian has a delightful laugh. It was a good few seconds before he replied to me, still with the laughter in his voice.



Fenian: I\'m a pretty man? Fucking great! Tell her thank you very much. I\'m flattered, to be sure. This series is the one focusing on Mello and Matt? Fuck that. The fewer appearances the better from where I\'m sitting. Thank you very much.



Matti: And you\'ll stay beautiful?



Fenian: *laughs* I\'ll do my very best.



Matti: I understand that you all passed your grade 8 piano examinations at Wammy\'s House. Did you learn to play another instrument too?



Fenian: I play a very passable bodhrán.



Matti: Really?! I\'ve got a bodhrán too! I played drums for years, but the bodhran is way more difficult than it looks. How did you learn to play it?



Fenian: By locking my bedroom door and ignoring everyone banging on it. I had a Tommy Hayes DVD and learned from that.



Matti: Nice one! Sorry, fangirling over percussion instruments, when I\'m supposed to be interviewing you on behalf of the series readership. I\'ve also got a tin-whistle.



Fenian: Everyone\'s got a tin-whistle. That\'s hardly fucking rocket science to play. *laughs* But yeah, bodhrán. Yeah.



Matti: I\'m sorry, the Celt in me just loves the idea of you locked in a bedroom filling the corridors of Wammy\'s House with the sound of the bodhrán. That\'s really impressed me.



Fenian: Well, it is an Irish battle drum.



Matti: I know, that\'s what\'s so funny. Did the other children know?



Fenian: Fuck knows. And, to be frank, who the fuck cares? Century probably knew.



Matti: Ok, I\'m getting side-tracked. Do you play anything other than piano, bodhrán and a tin-whistle.



Fenian: You can\'t count the tin-whistle! All you do is blow in one end and move your fingers! I can\'t say I\'ve pursued music much, but I warrant I could learn to play anything if you left it with me for a bit.



Matti: Still really impressed with the bodhrán.



Fenian: Thank you.



Matti: Moving on, how are you getting along with your lady friend?



Fenian: What lady friend?



Matti: Kiana.



Fenian: ...



Matti: Do I take it that there is no Kiana in your life?



Fenian: Fucking Wammy\'s, their fucking noses in every fucking thing. How do they even know about Kiana? Fucking arseholes. Bastard fucking lot of them.



Matti: ...



Fenian: Kiana and I are getting along very well, thank you.



Matti: Ok.



Fenian: ...



Matti: ...



Fenian: I\'ll tell her you asked after her.



Matti: Thank you. Erm, any wedding bells on the horizon?



Fenian: Not yet, no.



Matti: Ok. Thank you for...



Fenian: It\'s a bit fucking hard to get married when you don\'t fucking exist. A small matter of birth certificates.



Matti: I\'m sorry to hear that. But you have thought of marrying her then?



Fenian: I doubt she\'d have me.



Matti: I\'m sure you\'d be a catch for any young lady.



Fenian: I\'ll tell her you called her a lady.



Matti: You do that. What are you up to these days?



Fenian: Usual.



Matti: Which is?



Fenian: Climbing down holes looking for evidence of plate tectonics. Specially the collision 420 million years ago that\'s in evidence from Clogherhead down to Dingle. I\'m mostly underneath the scar looking for more data to send off to the armchair academics.



Matti: Nice. So you didn\'t decide to become a detective then.



Fenian: That sounds like being a fucking detective from where I\'m sitting.



Matti: Yes, I suppose it does.



On the whole, I found Fenian to be an extremely likeable person. Apologies, to those reading this transcript, for the bodhrán fangirling in the middle of all of that. I swear that the climax of \'Rannoch Moor\', where the bodhrán kicks in, got me through my MA dissertation.



Keenly aware that I was taking up a lot of Hal\'s time here, the next conference was rather rushed. It may be that this doesn\'t matter too much, as it was with Deontic and she is a woman of very few words. She was very quietly spoken, so much so that I had trouble hearing her. Hal had to repeat much of Deontic\'s words to me, even after the latter had apologised and had made an effort to raise her voice. She speaks English with that same received pronunciation that is also in evidence in Luigi\'s diction. I heard very little evidence of her native Malaysian.



Matti: Deontic, thank you for talking to me. Firstly, I wondered what you\'re up to these days?



Deontic: Working on cases and other jobs for Watari.



Hal: Deontic currently holds the clear record for most cases solved. She has beaten the original L in sheer quantity.



Deontic: I hardly think that our curriculum vitae is comparable.



Matti: That must take up a lot of time. Do you do anything in your spare time?



Deontic: I visit galleries.



Matti: Art galleries?



Deontic: Many different kinds of galleries.



Matti: Ok, thank you. Going back to your Wammy House days, I have been asked to ask you what it was like challenging Matt for third place?



Deontic: Frustrating.



Matti: Did you ever overtake him?



Deontic: No.



Matti: What do you say to people who assume that Matt is unintelligent?



Deontic: He\'s not.



Matti: Deontic, do you play any musical instruments?



Deontic: The piano.



Matti: Any others?



Deontic: No.



Matti: Did you never fancy taking one up?



Deontic: The harp.



Matti: Any plans to do so in the near future?



Deontic: Maybe.



Matti: Ok, thank you for speaking with me, Deontic, and thank you for answering our questions.



Deontic did sound a lot less guarded as she said her goodbyes. Hal has assured me that Deontic is possibly one of the nicest people she has ever met, but her natural reserve, especially with strangers, can make her seem a little cold. At just nineteen years old, Deontic has solved nearly 7000 cases from the MayDay Line, resulting in the imprisonment of many criminals and the diplomatic solution of many national and international minor crises. Hal told me that we have a lot to thank Deontic for, as she is truly one of the world\'s unsung heroines.



This is end of part one. I had many more questions to ask many more people, which will arrive here as soon as they\'ve been transcribed.