False Advertising

style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New";color:black'>Forty-Four

            It had still been a while since Suka had gone, a bit of
worry striking Shun as he had long since gone to the bath, changed out of his
robe and into a tee-shirt and sweats.  A quickly stolen glance at his
watch told him eleven o'clock, even after curfew for this Saturday night. 
If Kazuya wasn't in the building than he sure was in trouble.  Sighing,
Shun sat on the bed. He was tempted to set out the table but if Suka were to
come back anytime soon, Shun doubt he'd want to be sitting.

            Much less with a liar like him–

            "Don't do this to yourself!" he wailed as he
lay back on his bed, bringing a pillow up to cover his eyes.  "class=SpellE>Kami. . . this sucks."

            It wasn't supposed to be this hard.  Suka finds out
Shun's a boy, Shun explains that love transcends gender and the two live
happily ever after.  Growling, Shun threw the pillow to his feet in
disgust.  "Why does it sound so easy?!" He swallowed, a deep
etch of concern marking his brow.  "I'll be such a stranger to him .
. . this was such a bad idea, all his memories of me will be fake!"

            Is that so
true?  After all, the memories still exist as true.

            "But I won't be the same person. . ."

            But you will
be.  After all, you were there as real as you are here.

            "But he thought I was something else. . . I know
what he'll think. . . It's so hard to understand. . ." Shutting his teary
eyes, he sat up, leaning back on his elbows.  Maybe it wasn't such a
change. Surely Suka wouldn't want to abandon the friendship, that's just not
what he would do, nor was he that kind of person.  It didn't even hurt
that much that he knew he'd have to rebuild that trust.

            What pained Shun to the ends of the Earth was that the
love, no matter how real Shun wanted it to be, would only exist from his
side.  That Suka would go back to being a friend and nothing more. 
It was such a miserable sentencing that Shun would have rather died than bear
the burden of such a contained and concealed affection.  So, naturally, it
wouldn't remain concealed.  That's the part that really scared him; that
such an admittance would frighten Suka away.  On top of having his own
heart played around with, having a boy, much less the boy he thought was a
girl, admit to something so serious – it would just be adding insult to injury,
in a sense.

            Right?

            "No. . . who am I kidding?  I can't try to
analyze this without Suka here." It was equally as possible that Mitsuru
was right and that Suka would in fact consent that the love was a product of
just being around Shun.  That, of course, was the ideal.  The problem
was that the ideal is always too often the least probable.  The human
psyche could be so fucking stupid.

            "Damnit. . ." He
hopped and sat up when the door clicked, prepared to yell at the sempais but
only paled when Shun stepped in, dropping his coat on the chair nearby. 
Funny, Shun hadn't noticed it being gone.

            "K. . .
konbanwa, Shun-chan. . ." Kisaragi's chest jumped, somewhat of a blush
pouring into his face.  Hiro did tell him,
right?

            "Where were you, Suka-chan?  I was . . . well,
worried. . ."

            "I went for a walk," he mumbled, leaning back
against the door.  Looking up, he frowned, seeing a tear mark Shun's
face.  Sighing, he scratched his head.  "I. . . I know. .
."

            Shun just cringed, not looking up as he idled with his
hands.  "I'm so sorry, Suka-chan. . . you have no idea. . ." He
gazed up, a few more droplets sliding down his cheeks.  "I. . .
"

Go to Chapter style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>Thirty-Eight (38)