Shades of Time

Hakkai felt very odd as they walked back along the path to the inn. He kept trying to remember what had happened between Rei and himself in the cave but it wasn’t coming to him. As he was pondering it, another realization dawned on him, he kept touching her in some small way, whether it was holding her hand, touching her shoulder, whatever kept his skin in contact with hers. That was very strange because he wasn’t a very physically demonstrative man, at least not in public as a general rule.



They had dropped back from the others a bit, partially because the other two couples were leaning on one another and talking in that intimate sort of way lovers had. Energy after a battle had to be released some way. Hakkai felt . . . odd, looking at the back of Gojyo’s head at that moment. He wasn’t sure why but he had the insane urge to keep Rei as far from the other man as was humanly possible. That didn’t make any sense. He trusted Gojyo beyond almost everyone on the planet.



Rei’s voice brought him out of his musings. “Hakkai, I think we probably need to get some of this squared away before we get back to the inn.”



He blinked and looked at her oddly. “Some of what squared away, Rei?”



Rei sighed. “How much do you remember after the fight with those things?”



“Not much,” Hakkai admitted. “I seem to recall talking to you and . . . Rei, did I . . . chase . . . you?”



“You did.”



Hakkai looked startled then appalled. “Why would I do something like that? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”



“Not in any way you’d be worried about,” Rei said, slowing down and letting the rest of the group go ahead even more. “You’ve said you know very little about what you’ve become and I know you keep that side of yourself tightly restrained. You have to right now with the youkai losing their sensibilities. That’s just reasonable. So in light of what you’ve told me, you’d logically know very little about certain . . . instincts when in that form.”



He frowned as he connected to the memory of having her pinned against the wall of the cave. The feeling of wanting her so intense it made his body ache just remembering it. “Rei,” he said a little shakily. “I . . . didn’t . . . didn’t force you, did I? Gods, please tell me I didn’t. I couldn’t live with myself.”



She reached up and took his face in her hands. “No. You didn’t. Rest easy on that. But no matter how hard you may fight it, Hakkai, you are a demon. Those instincts that scare and repulse you are perfectly normal for a youkai. That won’t change even if you deny it.”



“Then what actually happened? Why can’t I remember it?”



“I think you’d better sit down, Hakkai,” she said, pushing him down onto a big rock. “If a powerful youkai is bound by the limiters for a long period of time, certain impulses come to the surface once the limiters are removed. Since we were in a dangerous situation the first thing that came to the forefront in you was the fight instinct.”



“What was the second?”



“Mating instinct.”



Hakkai’s mouth dropped open and stayed that was for a fairly long time. Impossible. He’d barely noticed women at all after Kanan died. Of course, he’d noticed Yaone but that was because she was around quite a lot. He’d had a passing interest in her until he’d figured out she was deeply, madly and completely in love with Kougaji. He knew why something like that would come to the forefront with Rei, because they were connected, though he had yet to figure out why or how.



“Did I marry you without realizing it?” Hakkai asked, looking up at her.



“If I say yes, will you be planning to find a way to commit seppuku after your mission is over?”



Hakkai surprised her by laughing. “Not that I’m aware of. There are far worse things that could have happened.”



“You’re taking this exceptionally well, all things considered.”



“I believe it’s simply because the shock hasn’t worn off yet.”



“If it makes you feel any better it isn’t technically a marriage until after the third bite in the same spot or until an actual ritual binding. More like an engagement of sorts.”



“It does in a way. How do you feel about this, Rei? I mean, we’ve only technically known each other for two days,” Hakkai said, looking a bit worried.



Rei shrugged. “That’s true but we’re also connected for what ever reason. We both know it. We get along well on most major things I’m aware of, there’s definitely an attraction between us,” she said, a little grin flirting with the edges of her mouth.



“That’s certainly true.”



“Come on,” she said, pulling him up. “Let’s get the rest of this figured out once we’ve had a bath and some food. I, for one, am certain I don’t smell very nice at the moment.”



“You still smell better than Sanzo’s leather top after he’s been in it for four day in the desert,” Hakkai said.



“Exactly how did you end up being the glorified babysitter of that bunch?”



“Someone has to do it,” Hakkai said with a shrug. “Otherwise, their clothing would be capable of standing on it’s own due to never being washed. Gods know no one else can cook aside from Sanzo and I very much doubt he’d be willing to do it to feed Gojyo and Goku. At least not without giving in to the inclination to poison them.”



“So, you got the job by default because you’re the only one who has any common sense,” Rei said with a laugh.



“Yes. I’m afraid that is the long and short of the situation.”