Walls Came Tumbling Down

"I don't want to have this conversation." Deontic spoke in barely a half-whisper.

Ann nodded. She didn't want it either, but practicalities had to kick in sooner or later. God knew they'd kept her sane over the years. Just having something to do, something to think after, one foot to place in front of the other. She had a notebook and she'd already scribbled down the word 'lilies'. They had no idea what Luigi's favourite flowers were. He'd always been too prone to slicing stems open to investigate the chemical make-up, than simply taking pleasure from the bloom.

A loud sniff emitted from Linda. She was bent, almost double, in her seat. She shifted a few inches forward with the emotion of it. Her eyes were already red-rimmed and raw. Ann had given her a cup of tea. She shuffled across the little office and placed her hand between Linda's shoulder-blades. "Come on, poppet. He's not dead yet." Ann cringed, sounding trite even to her own ears. "Where there's breath, there's life."

A short rat-a-tat sounded on the door. Ann frowned, wondering where she was going to put too many more guests. Her 'cubby-hole', as she called it, wasn't designed for crowds. Deontic briskly stood and opened the door, before Ann could say a word. "Oh. It's you." She said it blankly, like it was a disappointment.

Mello eased inside, looking too pale for Ann's liking. He was followed, as always, by little Matty. "Cosy." Mello smiled. Deontic stood back and indicated that he should take her seat. Mello glanced at Linda before he made himself comfortable. He didn't comment.

"Should you be walking around?" Ann demanded. "I thought you were supposed to be resting."

Mello shook his head, as Matt closed the door. "No. Madeleine wants me to start getting in some movement. So I'm moving."

"There's tea in the pot."

"Just had one." Mello rubbed his shoulder, underneath where the plastic cast lay. "We're not staying. Things to do. Contracts to write." The expression on his face turned to cheeky charm. "Just came to ask something." Behind his back, Matt was pouring himself a cup of tea anyway; then taking a couple of custard creams from the box. Ann let him. He was way too skinny for her liking. "Did you keep any personal possessions of ours? Other than..." He inclined his head, just slightly, towards the floorboards in the back. She had concealed photographs of them all under there, during the dangerous period when such things could have killed them under Kira.

Linda sat up straight, swiping her hand across her eyes. She was making a tremendous effort not to cry anymore. "You interrupted us discussing Luigi's funeral."

Mello stared, shock written hugely across his features. "He's dead?!" His lips moved wordlessly, then he hurriedly crossed himself. "Shit. I didn't know."

"No." Deontic snapped. "But there's nothing we can do that's actually helping here, is there?"

"Oh. Right." Mello blinked rapidly. "So that isn't like bad luck or something?" His gaze took in the notepad. "I thought you hated lilies, Ann."

Ann sighed, "They remind me of death, that's all." She was going to say more, but Deontic was glaring at Mello.

"You believe in luck?" She didn't give him time to answer, before rushing onto her next accusation. "Why did you lie to me about Beyond Birthday?"

Mello frowned. "Mail, I think I will have that cup of tea now. Gracias."

Ann interjected quickly. "I'll make that. Matty, would you be a doll please?" She pointed to the computer that Keith Robbins had brought in. It had been one of those dumped in the common room, which Bill and the rest of the caretakers had ended up having to take out. She'd requested one be kept aside and this was it. "This needs putting together or whatever you do to make it work." Matt leaned on her desk and stood on tip-toe to peer across it. He still couldn't see what she was pointing to, until he meandered around. It was hidden by the dog-leg of the wall. He pulled a face, as he surveyed it, which worried Ann. "Big job?"

"Nope." He smirked. "You just have to plug it in." He swooped down to hook a cable over his finger. "Into the wall."

Ann shook her head, bustling past Linda and placing both hands onto Deontic's shoulders to move her out of the way. "I'll leave that with you then. You know what you're doing." She ignored his snorting laughter. She was just pleased that he was smiling again. "Right who wants a refill?"

Deontic cut across her. "You didn't answer my question, Mello."

Mello had been watching her all along. "When did I lie about Beyond? And what did I say?"

"First time I saw you, after you'd gone away. We went to Linda's gallery launch, then back to Nathalie's flat. You told me that you had never known Beyond Birthday." Deontic nodded towards Ann. "Then she said that it was Beyond's influence, which turned you from being such a lovely, little boy."

"Oy!" Ann intervened. "Who's 'she'? The cat's mother?" On the other side of the desk, Matt had positioned the computer. It looked very hi-tech. Very professional.

Deontic spoke through gritted teeth. "Did you, or did you not, know Beyond Birthday?"

Mello allowed his tiredness to penetrate his tone. "Does it matter?" Ann was behind him, she could see hair which should have been part of his fringe falling back across the sides. She slid her fingers automatically through it, tidying the strands. Mello jumped at her touch. Then peered up, startled. His features softened, when he saw her. "What?"

"Your hair could use a comb."

Matt was standing still, grinning across at them. Linda was calmly now dunking a custard cream into the remains of her tea, which must have been cold by now. Deontic looked ready to explode, which was so unlike her that she instantly commanded Ann's attention. Deontic growled. "Of course not. He's dead. But either you're lying to me or Ann is. I don't appreciate that."

"Yeah, I knew him." Mello replied, lazily, but his shoulders were all tense.

"Then why did you say that you didn't?"

Mello swallowed. "Because I hadn't seen you for a very long time and no-one else had admitted that. There had to be a reason." He was watching her. She looked confused. "You arrived at Wammy's House just a few months after Beyond left. Most of us knew him. Everyone who was here when you arrived would have known him." Mello frowned. "I don't know about Salvo and Fenian. They might have come later." His piercing gaze switched to Linda. "I'm sorry, Deontic's best friend. Did I just drop you in it?"

Linda exhaled loudly. "It never came up in conversation."

"Oh." Mello shook back his head to dislodge a hair, which Ann had accidentally pushed into his face. "Just be glad that it's only a moment of awkwardness and not a life and death situation."

"I've explained myself a million times, Mello. I'm not apologising to you for the rest of my life." Linda hissed. She glared furiously at the corner of the desk. "Especially when I thought I was helping you at the time. When I thought I was the only one giving a shit where you were in the world."

Ann could see the tensions rising. "Hey, hey! What's all of this? No fighting in here."

Mello smoothly replied, "My apologies, Ann." Then fixed his gaze upon Deontic again. "At that meeting, we were all establishing the lie of the land. By you asking if I'd known Beyond Birthday, then it was obvious that nobody present had told you that they knew him. Mail and I were there first. If Luigi, Nathalie and Lamond had admitted being raised alongside him, then you could have deduced that we were too. I wondered at the time why your ignorance on that matter was imperative. Then events kind of knocked the question out of the water."

Deontic was stunned. "Everyone knew him?"

"I think Sal and Fenian came later." Mello considered it. "Obviously not Century. He was the last in."

Matt quietly corrected, "Fenian came in while Beyond was on his murder spree."

"Yeah!" Mello gasped. "Because we wondered how the heck he got away with his name! But it was because L was pre-occupied with Beyond's activities. As were we, when we eventually got to know about it." Mello looked momentarily pensive, but quickly recovered. "Yeah, I'm certain that Fenian coming and Beyond's murder spree happened at roughly the same time. Within the same month anyway."

Ann looked up. "The two were not related, thank you very much." She scowled at them all. "Don't you get saddling Fenian with that one too! You gave him enough nightmares at the time."

Deontic wasn't appeased. "So Linda, Luigi, Lamond, Nat, Jonny, Near, Chrissie, Mairoo and Hollow all knew him without once mentioning the fact to me?"

"And me and Mail." Mello was grinning at Linda.

Linda threw her hands up. "I wasn't even there! If I had been, or if you'd asked me the question, Dee, I would have put you straight."

Mello nodded. "Linda's always been good for information."

"You're a bastard." Linda spat. "Just..." But she was too furious to continue and so stopped. The atmosphere crackled oppressively. Then she angrily added, "Why does it matter, Dee? Has something come up?"

Deontic bowed her head and quietly answered, "No. It was just mentioned, that's all."

Ann poured tea. It was a good thing to do in circumstances like this, however intelligent the participants. She muttered, "I do wish that you wouldn't bicker." Then, when no-one said a word, she added, "I could bang your heads together sometimes. I really could." She heard a familiar clang and looked up. Matt was in her store-cupboard and he'd banged the metal door off his foot. He stood frozen to the spot. "Hey! Come on out of there! That's for my bleaches!"

"Mail." Mello held out his hand. His husband skittered across the floor towards him, then just lingered icily in the vicinity. "Ann. Hal told Mail that you might have some childhood items belonging to us. We're interested to see what's there."

"Did she now?" Ann's mind skimmed the layers of policies and directives in this Institution, trying to determine if trouble lay ahead. "What were you doing in my bleaches?" A terrible thought occurred to her. "You're not making bombs are you?!" She hated the way that they all looked at the lock, then back at her and smiled. Even sweet, little Linda. "You can keep out of my bleaches!"

"He was looking for the childhood items. Your keys were on your desk." Mello informed her blithely. "And is that why you lock bleach in that cupboard? Because any kid worth a place here would be able to pick that lock within seconds."

Beyond that disquieting information, Ann couldn't think of any reason not to disclose her hoard. Unless one of them was going to use something in it to upset the others. "Why do you want to see all that old stuff? It's only toys and the like. Stuff too good to chuck out." She didn't add that they were also keepsakes to remind her of more innocent times. Mello was looking at her like he already knew. He probably did. He was too clever for his own good, that one.

"May we see them please?"

"How about if I put a padlock on the cupboard?"

Mello smirked. "It would up the stakes a bit. More like a minute instead of seconds."

Ann's hand hovered over the poured drinks. "I despair of the lot of you at times." She sighed, her mind speeding over her collection for anything that might be misused. They were all watching her. She could feel their eyes burning into her back. "I give up. Come on then." She started to push her way through, but Matt was in the way. She paused, "Shift your arse then." Knowing full well not to move him, as she had Deontic. Soon as the path behind her desk was clear, she walked on through. "Bloody kids, always under your feet." She continued on past the metal shelves filled with linen and the toiletries counter. The locked door beyond them led into a second, smaller room.

She called it her airing cupboard, though it was bigger than that. Stacks of boxes sat in here; pallets of toilet roll and toothpaste, deodorants and plasters, bin-bags and winter woollies. There were quilt covers still in their wrappers, as well as pyjamas, t-shirts, jeans of all sizes and underwear. A small mound of sanitary towels and tampons awaited the puberty of the younger girls.

There was a footfall at the door. Ann turned. Linda had followed, with Deontic right behind her. They were looking with wide eyes at this inner sanctum, though there was nothing really special to see. Ann waited by the waist high counter, on the far side, sure that they'd all be in here now. No need to sort out only the treasures kept from her boys. "Come in, if you're coming." She directed. Sure enough, a sudden rushing in the other room signalled the coming of Mello and Matt. "I don't know what you're expecting. You'll probably be very disappointed."

"Wow! Stocking up for Armageddon?" Mello asked, as soon as he was through the door. Ann couldn't see his expression. She was already kneeling down to get into the bottom cupboard, cursing her knees all of the way. "Have you got enough safety pins?"

"Take what you need." Ann responded, cognisant of the fact that his money had probably paid for it all. But he was on his way over, peering over Deontic's head with Matt right beside him. "There's nothing of value in here. Not money anyway." She shifted a pile of manga and her hand closed over a raggedly doll. "Ah, Linda." She handed it over. "Sivan." The plastic face was stained with permanent marker from where the young Linda had tried to give Sivan a makeover. "You came here holding her."

Linda's features were studiously blank. "I thought she had been chucked out."

"No, poppet." In Ann's mind's eye, Linda was a little girl again. "Those tiny blond pig-tails. You were such a picture." It occurred to her that these four might start repossessing her keepsakes. "You want me to keep that safe in here?"

"You remembered her name."

Ann frowned, "Of course I did. Wouldn't be much cop if I went around forgetting the names of everyone's comforts, would I?" She had found another one, which was thrown. Even one-handed, Mello was a good catch. "Kitty Rawr Cat." She ferreted within once more. "And this..."

"What the Hell is that, Mello?" Linda had laughed.

Ann looked up again. "Hey! Don't you start on Kitty Rawr Cat! He took him everywhere when he was five! Extra place at the dinner-table and everything."

Mello was moving the stuffed toy cat, so that the head wobbled. It was missing an eye and was nearly threadbare along its back seam. "I was apparently very cute." His gaze fell kindly upon Ann. "You kept this? That's quite, what's the word? I'm stuck between embarrassing and sweet."

Deontic chewed her lip against a giggle. She appeared a little lighter for watching him with his childhood toy. "Give it a cuddle, so I can get the full picture here."

Mello glanced at Matt and seemed about to put it down, but then he changed his mind and held the cat at his shoulder. His scarred cheek pressed down upon the stuffed head. Kitty Rawr Cat lay on his chest, trapped between the burns and the cast of his broken arm. Ann could have cried for him. There was her Mihael. Her polite, anxious boy. "Matty, I'll swing for you in a minute!" The redhead was laughing loudly, turned away to the wall, peeping back with highly amused eyes. "Or I'll find something in here to prove that you were once that small too!"

"Kitty Rawr Cat?" Deontic grinned. "It's the name that I love. Did you actually roar the middle part?"

"Dunno." Mello was back to wobbling the head of his toy. "I was five."

Ann held aloft Woody. "Matt." They all looked. "Come and get it, I'm not throwing it. It'll have someone's eye out."

"Awww!" Linda took the plastic figurine. "You didn't even get Buzz Lightyear!"

"He preferred Woody." Ann interjected, defensively. "And oh look! This was a gorgeous jumper. Really nice wool. It's not cashmere." Ann shook her head, looking at the red and blue Mario jumper that her sister's neighbour had knitted for her. "Cashmere wouldn't have lasted three seconds on these two, but it was so soft when it was new."

Deontic gasped. "It's tiny!"

"Look at all of these holes at the seams." Ann sniffed. "Thought we'd never get it off you, before it fell off."

Matt's eyes had narrowed. "I was only about three."

Ann surveyed it, holding the jumper up at the shoulder seams. She shook her head. "No. I'd say about six or seven."

"Or three." Mello declared, loyally.

Ann raised her eyebrows, shaking her head. She automatically folded up the jumper and started to put it back in the cupboard. "Cute as a button."

Mello pushed forward. "Here. You can have the cat back, but can I have Mail's stuff please?"

Ann bit her lip, not wanting any of them to have any of it. She bought time by affecting to have only just noticed something. "Oh! I'm going to need help here." She reached inside, swiftly putting the jumper back on top of a package (confiscated before it ever reached Fenian, given that it held a Corofin GAC sports shirt). "This was a bugger to get in without knocking it." Mello was reaching right over her. "Oy!" She slapped his fingers. "Get out of it!" He afforded her a cheeky grin, as he snagged Matt's Mario jumper. "Do you want a smack?"

"Just looking." Mello winked at her.

"Grab a corner of this then." Between them, they eased out the brightly coloured doll's house. It wasn't that it was especially large, but that the cupboard was only just large enough to hold it. Behind them, Deontic gasped. "You worried Roger with this, you know. He kept thinking that you were recreating your home back in," Ann stopped dead, realising she'd nearly spoken forbidden information. She wasn't even supposed to have known it herself, but sobbed words whispered in the dead of night had revealed the origins of them all.

Mello finished her sentence, "Malaysia." He stood up. "I remember this."

"You should." Deontic replied sternly. "You knocked the roof off it."

"Sorry."

"Just cuddle your stuffed cat. I'm over it."

Ann peered proudly at the miniature construction. "Such a tidy child. Never had to moan at you for messing up your room. Unlike some people." Her gaze slid sideways to meet Mello's.

"That was Mail." Mello informed her. "I was OCD tidy."

"Ha!" Ann exclaimed. "Is that so?" She could reach the sketchbooks now. "Linda's first paintings. Probably worth millions now." They were set on top of the counter. She peered inside again and her fingers glided in grief over toys that she would never bring out. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she went on going. "One of Mello's jackets here. This was a gorgeous cut. You chose it yourself." His hand clasped down on her shoulder and squeezed. Ann looked up into a reassuring smile. Mello's eyes were tinged with exhaustion, but he could read her like a book. Ann pressed her own hand over his and rubbed it, whispering, "It's ok, Mihael."

He crouched down beside her. Probably to see what else he could spy that had once belonged to himself or Matt. But his attention was drawn to Near's white jig-saw instead. "He didn't take that?"

"No. I have it."

"What's that?"

Ann followed his gaze, aware that the other three were now crowding to see too. "It's one of Luigi's infinite production of inventions. Proper little Wammy, he was. Always coming out with new things. Still does." She sighed, overwhelmed again. "Just the other day he was in here, showing me his latest. That book with all of the squiggles and stuff, expecting me to understand what he was going on about." Ann's fist clenched. She had Mello on one side and Linda on the other, both with their arms around her. Tears over-ran her eyes. "Said he was hoping it would save lives all over the world and now look at him." A loaded silence coloured the air about her. Ann tried to turn her head, wanting to see what had caused the change in mood. "What? What is it?"

Mello met her eyes. "Ann, where is the book now?"

"What book?"

Linda was staring into space. "He was working with nitrites. That's why he had so much of it in his lab."

Mello smiled kindly, "The book with the squiggles."

"In my bedroom. He wanted me to have a look at it." Ann was really worried now. "I couldn't understand a word of it. Oh God! What?"

Deontic's hand appeared over her shoulder. "Give me the keys. I'll get it."

"What?" Ann shifted urgently, taking Mello's hand to rise. "Someone tell me what's going on."

Linda appeared in shock. "He wouldn't do that, would he? Create a situation, which required reading his own work to save his life?" Her gaze swept from Deontic to Mello and back again.

Deontic seemed annoyed. "Of course he would. Because if no-one was interested enough to pay attention, then he'd want to die!"

Ann's hands shook as she extracted her keys. "Have I nearly killed him?"

Deontic was off like a shot, the second that she received them. Mello pulled Ann into a one-armed hug. "We won't know until we see it. This could be good news." He winked, as she looked at him for reassurance. "It would be very nicely played."

"No, it wouldn't." Linda, on the verge of crumbling, hissed. "Because if that's what he's done, I swear I'll fucking kill him!"