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Forty-Nine
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"Courier New";color:black'>Forty-Nine
Ah, done!
The hardest part about writing
this, surprisingly, was not the
lemon. Rather, the massive organization required as well as trying to
keep a flow. Post-it Notes EVERYWHERE.
Also, because I know everyone will have gone back to read the so-called
mega-happy ending, choosing the right song was crucial. I think it works,
and seeing as I used to watch Eva endlessly, I can read the song off by heart.
Well, what else can I
say? Another boundary crossed. Horray. A rhyme.
With nothing else to add I'll
part with this: the capitalization on the Suka/Shun relationship is drastically
low. Come one, it's a gold mine. Shinobu / Mitsuru is getting
tired. Do it! Dooo it!
"Courier New";color:black'>As of August, 2006
Shun, so I'm glad that I was able to pull that off. I didn't really want to
rewrite 49 chapters (though I did add ten new ones), so while I added some
things and changed some details, it's pretty much the same story with slightly
better prose. And I know: it's dialogue heavy. What can ya
do?
I'm really kinda shocked that
the story is able to carry. I tried out a few paths and while some reveal more
information than others, that each seems to capitalize on the same concepts and
plant the seeds in your mind. I know, at some points it may have gotten a
little repetitive, but with so much branching and converging, it was hard to
not let some ideas overlap.
Third, I kinda wish I had made
two distinct stories rather than one giant arc with three sections. Like, the
first part really feeds into chapter 18, which feeds into 40, which feeds into
44 and to the end. Like, it's kinda linear, really, but with
room and some good tongue-in-cheek humor with the endings. Maybe at some future
date, when I have absolutely nothing to work on, I'll retool this story to add
another story arc – a second major event to follow. Like, maybe Shun doesn't
fall in love – maybe he gets repulsed or something. Or maybe Hasukawa finds out
the truth prematurely and doesn't let on? Or maybe Hasukawa
new arc. Maybe the sempais deserve their own lemon. Who knows? I added the
store and park arcs in this pass, which I think help to open up the action.
I guess that if I had a regret,
it's that it's hard to characterize people based off 6 episodes. And you sorta
have to discount the last two since Hasukawa falls in love (sorta) with that
development. Not that hard, actually, but not as in-depth as a 26 episode
series. Hell, Evangelion is easy to characterize compared to this.
Mitsuru and Shinobu are
alright. I made Mit a bit more of a play boy and Shinobu's maybe too cool for
this world. Shun gets a little weepy/girly/emotional, but the kid is just
like a hyperactive lunatic sometimes.
Hasukawa was so hard to really
capture, especially when he got his head injury. I like to think he's got the
ability to lead but second guesses himself a lot. He's just too serious
sometimes. But he's also pretty rash and jumps into things without really
thinking about it. But he's also got
some cajones
considering that he's able to stand up for himself and take responsibilities, a
lot of the time. And you know he cares about Shun, so that's not such a hard
relationship to build on. He's just a little hot head, but I dumped some ice
water on him to bring him back a little.
Oh well – at least I got to see
what I wanted to see. HOT BOY LOVE. Sure, I initially only really liked the
idea since Shun looks like a chick, but I've come (HAHA GET IT?!) to appreciate
yaoi – at least in this story.
"Courier New";color:black'>Some random data:
The longest possible path is
though it has the largest range of chapters, it's no more insightful than many
of the others due to unavoidable repetition. Taking the longest path is the
equivalent to reading a 30,000 word
story. And, frankly, I'd be impressed if you did.
The shortest path is, of
course, 1 -> 32. A
from a fantastic old text game called Zork, wherein you have nearly total control over your
environment. It really was a rather difficult game and I admit to cheating
every now and then because it's so mindbogglingly
complex. Garlic, mirrors, rope, altars. All sorts of crap!
There are 12 possible endings. 5
of which end with someone receiving head trauma, 2 of which ending with "bad dream syndrome" and one of
which ending with a song-and-dance number.
There are 57 chapters in all (not including the first or my notes). To read
every chapter without cheating (that
is, by starting over each time) you have to read chapter three
path to an end would require you to read chapter three more than 500times (approximately).
The sex scene was partially
rewritten due to overacting on Shun's part.
There is a secret chapter
hidden in the story. I wonder if you've found it. If you did, tell me what's in
it and you'll get a free Gmail, since that's all I
really have to offer.
Take it easy!
By the way, read "Extended
Play" by Ukyou Kuonji.
Unfinished, but so good!