Survive
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Rating:
Adult ++
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5
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Category:
+S to Z › Trigun
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
3,283
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Trigun, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 5: Silver sibling
Part V: Silver sibling
Disclaimer: All Trigun charters do not belong to me *sob*, and this little story contains Yaoi, incest, rape, shota-con, blah blah blah…. Do not pass go if you are homophobic…. Do not collect 200 dollars if you’re under eighteen…wait a minute…I hate Monopoly…
Part V: Silver sibling
I have finally found it, dear brother…
I have finally found the relic I longed for.
We will have the revenge we have always disserved,
A revenge over a foolish race that believes themselves superior…
No longer…
I will settle the score,
And it will only be you and I, Vash….
Just us….
Only us…
Together as one…
There was a stirring from a being that two solid arms held close to a naked body. A gentle awakening of a pastel blonde, the wake of dawn reflecting in his pure blue eyes, turning them exotic shades of purple and magenta. He sighed, burying his silver saffron locks into the side of Vash’s arm, inhaling the familiar musk of the man. He sighed, pleasantly, gently caressing the skin of his arm with his cheek. Never had he ever go the things he wanted…. Never had he remembered this feeling of happiness he now felt.
For the first time in fourteen years, the black and darkness left his dreams, leaving behind thoughts and fantasies of warm green trees…the caress of grass upon his face…just like it had been when he was innocent…. Such a long time ago…
Crystalline tears ran down his cheeks at that word…innocent.
But he didn’t let those thoughts plague his mind. He had his brother now…he would help him destroy them all…he knew it…he knew. After what they had shared, he knew his brother wouldn’t leave him now. No…he loved him…as he gave back ten folds. Nothing would bring them apart as he thought; the tears on his cheeks forgotten and discarded.
This time, he would succeed…
Because this time, he was not alone.
****
He looked on the horizon of the dead planet, where everything seeming so desolate…so empty… It was the type of eternal void that one couldn’t help but feel drained traveling among it… a place where every nerve among your brain would be seduced to the over powering loneliness the rough terrain breathed from it’s bowels. Such an over powering feel of death to those that walked and lived among it’s dry and dead exterior.
Knives turned to Vash, whom was at his side, far different from when he kept his distance…but nothing was the same, was it? Ever since that night of hidden passion, nothing was ever the same.
Thoughts of their two bodies colliding upon each other…. The smell of sweat and longing…. Such a primal odor driving them both to the edge, leaving them there between the intense satisfaction of release and the urge to wait one more moment; the need to make everything last just a little longer, making the out come ever so much sweeter. The want of hands roaming over flesh, their feather light touches coaxing the mind to go numb, and the body to arc into something glorious…so wonderful… All of these memories…. These recollections were his to take… A beautiful collage of lusts and desires…one of the few things that ever made him smile anymore…truly beautiful in every aspect.
Knives sighed, his mind returning to the subject at hand. The relic he sought for was close. It was a burning gale in the pit of his mind spoke tales of its proximity. The feeling of comfort coming over him as he walked. Soon his journey would end…so very soon.
And when he saw a small speck of black upon the horizon, a broad smile appeared upon a proud face. He saw what he longed for, and now he would get vengeance for all of the blood and tears that he had shed to the point of collapse. Get his revenge on all the parasites that continued to roam the planet he had decided upon. Yes…for true peace, we must destroy such an imperfect being.
He gazed up at the second sun, absorbing the waves of heat that gently pelted upon him. The only people here that disserve such a wondrous gift were the enslaved… his people…
****
The first sun had been set by the time Knives and Vash arrived at the ruins of the ancient seed ship. The smell of steel and rust welcomed their senses as they curiously searched the ship, a grin permanently glued upon Knives face. He had done it…he had succeeded. Now, he merely needed to construct the tool of destruction he planned to use…the ultimate punishment for all the human scum. The garbage that lived by sapping the life out of the unfortunate…his brothers…his sisters…All of his kin.
He looked at Vash whom was rummaging through old metal storage boxes, merely looking through it, putting books and other such possessions that had yet to see any form of light for nearly 14 years. He turned, his back to his brother, and began to walk deeper inside the decaying steel monstrosity that once was able to fly among the heavens. He took a deep breath of old stale air, an odd shutter running through his body before he forced his brain to go over the possible ways on constructing something to rid this need world of the parasites he longed to destroy.
So many things to be done, he thought, walking inside a passage way that lead to one of the upper sectors, hearing the faint click of Vash’s boots behind him. He grinned faintly. Always following… so very loyal… The smile faded as he opening his eyes wide, trying to see deep in the ship, under the thick darkness, which surrounded his vision.
Something struck through his mind…. The smell…. The feeling as he walked down the empty corridors…
So familiar…
Knives head began to spin lightly…It had always been pitch black in that room…He could never see where those hands were going in that suffocating darkness… Never knowing when he would stop that degrading exploration of his small frame, and forcing something into his small body…Something that was much too big for his small form to handle…Something that went a lot deeper than anything should ever go. So many memories of repressed screams. Repressed so he couldn’t be found like that…
His trembling hands reached his mouth slowly, and tears uncontrollably fell… “His” room always had a stale scent to it…the scent of metal, and something more simple…It smelled just like “him”. Knives knees grew weak and they collapsed, leaving him on the floor, weeping. Nausea entering his frail trembling body. So many recollections of unseen hands… so many reminiscences of the feeling of being broken open and being ravished; unable to scream…unable to fight back… in fear of the one he loved the most being hurt and disgraced. No one dissevered that humiliation… but Steve would tell the crème blonde other wise.
His words rang through his head as he grabbed his stomach in disgust and shame. Small sobs of agony escaping trembling lips as he slowly began to remember.
“Be quiet, little one…” He whispered. A callused hand felt along his thighs, touching Knives arousal, slowly coaxing the flesh there to stiffen and become engorged with agonizing heat.
“Why…? Why are you doing this…?” A hoarse sound, muffled by fear, backed up by empty glacier eyes filled with tears.
“ Humans created your kind for our use.” He jerked on pale flesh a little faster. “We made your kind for production…. You should be thanking me boy…” His voice growling slightly, kissing his neck violently, feeling the sweet vibrations of Knives strangled cries as he worked. “ We give you purpose…without us, you are nothing…” A tongue licked the straining surface of the child’s taut throat. “ Nothing but lost children…weak…pathetic…children…”
He grabbed onto the bigger man’s massive shoulders ejaculating upon himself in the dark…nothing else was recollected as the feeling of his mind blurring in a desperate need to forget about what happened next.
A slow push back into reality welcomed Knives as he felt strong hands on his shoulders shake him gently…so gentle…was that Vash’s voice…? He reached out in the gloom of the ship, fingertips meeting soft warm skin.
Vash…
He lunged out, grabbing his kneeling brother around the waist, holding tightly, lightly crying, his face buried in his lap as he murmured incoherent sounds in his thick sobs. Vash sat there for a moment, bitter confusion filling his face as he stared at his sobbing brother’s form. He sighed gently, running his hand through Knives’ unruly locks whispering words of comfort, listening as the tears seized and the cries silenced.
He shut his eyes tightly, and made an oath unto himself. He would vindicate against all the parasites of his Eden… He would prove to all of the lowly creatures what this lost, pathetic child could do…yes…he would show them all the mistake they had made… He promised….
Promise…
***
It had been five months since he had awoke to the warmth of Knives in his arms… five months since he had kissed his frail lips, realized Vash as his eyes slowly slid open, dimly looking out upon the boundless desert. He heard the sounds of metal being welded in the far depths of the ship, and sighed.
All he ever did was stay I that room, day in, day out. And when he spent time with his brother, every mannerism was filled with desperateness and his hands trembled as if he longed for something, and continued to do so until he went back to work.
Slowly, a few tears drifted down his face as he pulled his knees up, gently holding them in a caressing manner.
What was happening to his brother? He remembered a time where he looked upon those eyes and saw a wondrous feeling of freedom, a beautiful light of superior intelligence…a striking beauty that could never be mimicked. He had seen that light as he lay trembling underneath his own quivering form during the most private acts of love they used to share.
But the last time…those eyes, so distracted…and was that fear in the depths of those sapphire eyes…?
“Knives…” He lightly griped his hair, no longer able to hold back the tears that now flooded down his cheeks in total abandon. “ What’s wrong with you?” Eyes clutching down as tightly as his fists did upon his hair. “ Knives…why are you acting like this…?”
He could feel the yearning of human contact fill his limbs as he sobbed a little louder, his head buried among his knees.
“WHY?!”A hollow scream of emotional distress…something that Knives dismissed as the creaking of the old ship as he worked…
***
Knives’ wiped the sweat from his brow as he continued to work on his precious project. He ran a finger over the delicate metal of the weapon he concocted. It was hard work with the limited resources he was presented with, but that didn’t matter…He knew the end result would be the one he desired…He would get his revenge…and then maybe the voices in his head would finally stop.
May be then, he could rest.
Ever since he had come onto the ancient ship, the memories …the dreams came back to haunt him. Every moment not used on his precious project was spent in painful recollection. It became more that an obsession, his beautiful dream…it became his savior from the demons…the only thing that was able to keep his fears at bay.
Knives had become a being fueled by one desire as every day passed living among the stale corroding ship…the tainted desire of justice…the raging lust of revenge… And he needed it like a staving man craves nourishment…
The reason being, every part of the ship reminded him of one thing…. The pain. Every time he went to wander the ship for parts in certain sectors of the ship, his chest would begin to throb and he would break down; Lying upon his side on the cold metal, curled up, sobbing like an abandoned child. Sometimes he could feel those rough hands forcing him to the floor…sometimes he could feel the pain of being ripped apart…and other times….
A strange feeling would wash over his pale quivering body, and flesh would stir as everything replayed in the young man’s mind as sobs beckoned an invisible attacker to stop. Feelings of desire…disgust…and a thousand other emotions more contradicting than the next would fill him, his own hand running over his own erection as such memories entered his weak and fragile mind. The voices in his mind laughing as he reached within the confining cloth his suit and rapidly jerked at hard, yet delicate flesh, heavy and thick tears falling at a pace more erratic than his short fast breaths.
Such a slut…. Not worthy of such a lovely, innocent young man.
He would cum… the sobs silently fading into gales of nausea as he forced his quaking naked body into a desolate corner, coughing and choking, fighting back the want to vomit. But the hate, the self-loathing of such perverse desires didn’t help to choke back the urge…. He had touched himself…. Mimicking what he made him do so many years before…such a disgusting beings humans are…but in the end, it was his fault…his own perversion that needed to be sated…he was no better than Steve…
In the end, he was nothing but a whore.
After weeping for a few more hours, the coughing fits would stop, and he’d get up, gathering his wits slowly and clumsily, similar to the way his shaking hands attempted to zip the suit to cover his naked skin.
He wanted this hell to end…. And soon, It would…
As soon as he completed them…
Completed the ones which would deliver him from the darkness…
To complete his savoir with his lover by his side….
Such a beautiful dream…so much better than the darkness….
***
A small laugh came from the bottom of his throat. The chuckle broadening into loud, harsh laughter as he stood in the dim room. He had done it. They were finally complete…
His strides went by swiftly in the empty hallways of the ship. His creation complete, he nearly jogged toward the exit of the ship, the two guns dangling from his shaking hands; the sweet emotion of anticipation filling his entire body. It had been a whole year…a year spent in the company of his worst memories. A year spent in hell.
He smiled broadly, noticing Vash’s figure against the wall, quiet murmurs of incoherent sentences escaping his lips until he noticed the presence of Knives as he watched pale blonde locks emerge from the shadows of the ship.
Eyes met for a brief moment, a small shot of electricity between blue and green.
“Knives…” A small whisper amplified with the empty void of the ship.
“I’m finally done.”
He walked past his brother, walking out upon the sand, his step quickening as he made his way up the dune. It was time to test his child. A small gasp for air as he felt his arm grow hot around the weapon. His flesh and blood fusing with the metal. He laughed as he watched the light consume his arm, building and building into something overpowering and oppressive, until the light shot forth.
An explosion…A massive explosion rippled through the once tranquil land. Debris of soil and stone flinging through the air as Vash’s confused green eyes watched the white consume the land before him.
Knives had done that…
Knives…
He ran towards his brother, slightly frightened of the calmness his form held silhouetted against that immense blast. What was going on…? How did he cause the destruction he saw in front of him? Something was wrong…
So very wrong.
Knives gently turned to his brother smiling. Finally, everything came together…finally everything was going his way. Vengeance was in grasp. Sweet vengeance.
He walked towards Vash, his haunting sadistic grin never leaving his features.
“These are our new siblings, dear brother…and this one…” He took the gun, the lighter of the two handing it to Vash. “This one’s yours.”
***
He sat in the desert all alone, the sound of his brother’s retreating cries no longer heard among the desert winds. He cried out, sobs and whimpers emptying into the silence that rang upon his ears. He looked at his wounded leg, the earth becoming tainted with dark crimson and he clutched his injury.
“He shot me…” A light scrambled whisper managed between sobs. “Why…?” His body trembling in anger, sorrow and pain as his hands drifted from his leg to his face, smearing scarlet upon a canvas of pale skin.
“I thought you understood…” the tears began to run down his face more rapidly, the cries growing louder. “I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!! WHY VASH!?! WHY DOSE IT HURT SO MUCH!?”
The voices began to torment his broken mind; it’s bitter laughter filling the constricting walls of his soul and heart. “You’re a stupid ignorant fuck. How could you ever think he could love such a tainted sick bastard like you…?” Knives lied in he dirt, desperately trying to mute the sounds in his head. “You thought because he fucked with you it meant he loved you…? Such a poor delusional child…”
“Stop…. No more…” a vain attempt escaping his lips and he clutched his head a little tighter.
“You were nothing but his whore…just like before….” The voice laughed bitterly making Knives’ eyes fill with hurt and betrayal at a cold realization. “Always the whore…”
Shaken, Knives stood, every nerve filling with pain as he limped toward the ship, his eyes empty and hollow as the laughter in his mind grew louder and louder, deafening him to other sounds around him.
Used…Tainted…
The only able words to describe him as he found himself a convenient corner in the ship to collapse and slowly break down in. Vash exploited his heart and left him here to die …just like everyone else…always used, and when the task was completed, discarded.
He grabbed his shoulders within the dimming light of the ship, noting that his leg had grown slick with blood as he brought his knees to his chest.
Used again…a hazy thought as exhaustion, pain, and the loss of blood made his senses slowly sink into a thick daze. He was always used…but Vash…he shot him…willingly shot him. The pain in his chest began to hurt worse that his wounded leg. The man he suffered for…the man he worshiped in silence wanted to dispose of him.
The man he loved wanted to kill him.
Anger crept into his tear soaked features. Pain. He would show him pain…he would give the man whom betrayed him willingly an ache far worse than he had delivered upon him. He would show him an infinite supply of agony…he would show him how easy it was to kill the race he found so sacred. He would show him how it feels to take the pain of protecting something precious, just as he had done to preserve his innocence.
I will show you infinite pain, dear brother…
I will teach you how it feels to be weak while protecting something you cherish…
Brother…
He passed out in the darkness…his body and mind raw and sore.
I one day he had lost everything….
His heart…
His emotions...
His dreams…
But more importantly, the last ounce of sanity.
He had lost Vash.
And now, for the first time in his entire life, he was truly alone….
***
End of Different shade of Black
Ending notes: Damn, I’m messed up in the head! Why do I write such terrible depressing crap!? What the hell is wrong with meeeeeeee?!? *sigh* I have a few words as I pull this story to a close.
#1: Before I am lynched and groups of hard core Trigun otaku shove pitch forks up my ass, I must say, I have NEVER read the Trigun manga. So please don’t e-mail me and say, “The plants weren’t created by humans! And Vash was really-blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan.” If it’s not in the Anime, I didn’t know…don’t hurt me…. I’m ignorant…
#2.: My grammar sucks…. I know it, you know it, ‘nuff said.
#3: NEVER EVER LISTEN TO “THE SPECTRUM SONG” WHILE WRITING WARPED SEX SCENES! WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN! PLEASE DON’T DO IT! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Disclaimer: All Trigun charters do not belong to me *sob*, and this little story contains Yaoi, incest, rape, shota-con, blah blah blah…. Do not pass go if you are homophobic…. Do not collect 200 dollars if you’re under eighteen…wait a minute…I hate Monopoly…
Part V: Silver sibling
I have finally found it, dear brother…
I have finally found the relic I longed for.
We will have the revenge we have always disserved,
A revenge over a foolish race that believes themselves superior…
No longer…
I will settle the score,
And it will only be you and I, Vash….
Just us….
Only us…
Together as one…
There was a stirring from a being that two solid arms held close to a naked body. A gentle awakening of a pastel blonde, the wake of dawn reflecting in his pure blue eyes, turning them exotic shades of purple and magenta. He sighed, burying his silver saffron locks into the side of Vash’s arm, inhaling the familiar musk of the man. He sighed, pleasantly, gently caressing the skin of his arm with his cheek. Never had he ever go the things he wanted…. Never had he remembered this feeling of happiness he now felt.
For the first time in fourteen years, the black and darkness left his dreams, leaving behind thoughts and fantasies of warm green trees…the caress of grass upon his face…just like it had been when he was innocent…. Such a long time ago…
Crystalline tears ran down his cheeks at that word…innocent.
But he didn’t let those thoughts plague his mind. He had his brother now…he would help him destroy them all…he knew it…he knew. After what they had shared, he knew his brother wouldn’t leave him now. No…he loved him…as he gave back ten folds. Nothing would bring them apart as he thought; the tears on his cheeks forgotten and discarded.
This time, he would succeed…
Because this time, he was not alone.
****
He looked on the horizon of the dead planet, where everything seeming so desolate…so empty… It was the type of eternal void that one couldn’t help but feel drained traveling among it… a place where every nerve among your brain would be seduced to the over powering loneliness the rough terrain breathed from it’s bowels. Such an over powering feel of death to those that walked and lived among it’s dry and dead exterior.
Knives turned to Vash, whom was at his side, far different from when he kept his distance…but nothing was the same, was it? Ever since that night of hidden passion, nothing was ever the same.
Thoughts of their two bodies colliding upon each other…. The smell of sweat and longing…. Such a primal odor driving them both to the edge, leaving them there between the intense satisfaction of release and the urge to wait one more moment; the need to make everything last just a little longer, making the out come ever so much sweeter. The want of hands roaming over flesh, their feather light touches coaxing the mind to go numb, and the body to arc into something glorious…so wonderful… All of these memories…. These recollections were his to take… A beautiful collage of lusts and desires…one of the few things that ever made him smile anymore…truly beautiful in every aspect.
Knives sighed, his mind returning to the subject at hand. The relic he sought for was close. It was a burning gale in the pit of his mind spoke tales of its proximity. The feeling of comfort coming over him as he walked. Soon his journey would end…so very soon.
And when he saw a small speck of black upon the horizon, a broad smile appeared upon a proud face. He saw what he longed for, and now he would get vengeance for all of the blood and tears that he had shed to the point of collapse. Get his revenge on all the parasites that continued to roam the planet he had decided upon. Yes…for true peace, we must destroy such an imperfect being.
He gazed up at the second sun, absorbing the waves of heat that gently pelted upon him. The only people here that disserve such a wondrous gift were the enslaved… his people…
****
The first sun had been set by the time Knives and Vash arrived at the ruins of the ancient seed ship. The smell of steel and rust welcomed their senses as they curiously searched the ship, a grin permanently glued upon Knives face. He had done it…he had succeeded. Now, he merely needed to construct the tool of destruction he planned to use…the ultimate punishment for all the human scum. The garbage that lived by sapping the life out of the unfortunate…his brothers…his sisters…All of his kin.
He looked at Vash whom was rummaging through old metal storage boxes, merely looking through it, putting books and other such possessions that had yet to see any form of light for nearly 14 years. He turned, his back to his brother, and began to walk deeper inside the decaying steel monstrosity that once was able to fly among the heavens. He took a deep breath of old stale air, an odd shutter running through his body before he forced his brain to go over the possible ways on constructing something to rid this need world of the parasites he longed to destroy.
So many things to be done, he thought, walking inside a passage way that lead to one of the upper sectors, hearing the faint click of Vash’s boots behind him. He grinned faintly. Always following… so very loyal… The smile faded as he opening his eyes wide, trying to see deep in the ship, under the thick darkness, which surrounded his vision.
Something struck through his mind…. The smell…. The feeling as he walked down the empty corridors…
So familiar…
Knives head began to spin lightly…It had always been pitch black in that room…He could never see where those hands were going in that suffocating darkness… Never knowing when he would stop that degrading exploration of his small frame, and forcing something into his small body…Something that was much too big for his small form to handle…Something that went a lot deeper than anything should ever go. So many memories of repressed screams. Repressed so he couldn’t be found like that…
His trembling hands reached his mouth slowly, and tears uncontrollably fell… “His” room always had a stale scent to it…the scent of metal, and something more simple…It smelled just like “him”. Knives knees grew weak and they collapsed, leaving him on the floor, weeping. Nausea entering his frail trembling body. So many recollections of unseen hands… so many reminiscences of the feeling of being broken open and being ravished; unable to scream…unable to fight back… in fear of the one he loved the most being hurt and disgraced. No one dissevered that humiliation… but Steve would tell the crème blonde other wise.
His words rang through his head as he grabbed his stomach in disgust and shame. Small sobs of agony escaping trembling lips as he slowly began to remember.
“Be quiet, little one…” He whispered. A callused hand felt along his thighs, touching Knives arousal, slowly coaxing the flesh there to stiffen and become engorged with agonizing heat.
“Why…? Why are you doing this…?” A hoarse sound, muffled by fear, backed up by empty glacier eyes filled with tears.
“ Humans created your kind for our use.” He jerked on pale flesh a little faster. “We made your kind for production…. You should be thanking me boy…” His voice growling slightly, kissing his neck violently, feeling the sweet vibrations of Knives strangled cries as he worked. “ We give you purpose…without us, you are nothing…” A tongue licked the straining surface of the child’s taut throat. “ Nothing but lost children…weak…pathetic…children…”
He grabbed onto the bigger man’s massive shoulders ejaculating upon himself in the dark…nothing else was recollected as the feeling of his mind blurring in a desperate need to forget about what happened next.
A slow push back into reality welcomed Knives as he felt strong hands on his shoulders shake him gently…so gentle…was that Vash’s voice…? He reached out in the gloom of the ship, fingertips meeting soft warm skin.
Vash…
He lunged out, grabbing his kneeling brother around the waist, holding tightly, lightly crying, his face buried in his lap as he murmured incoherent sounds in his thick sobs. Vash sat there for a moment, bitter confusion filling his face as he stared at his sobbing brother’s form. He sighed gently, running his hand through Knives’ unruly locks whispering words of comfort, listening as the tears seized and the cries silenced.
He shut his eyes tightly, and made an oath unto himself. He would vindicate against all the parasites of his Eden… He would prove to all of the lowly creatures what this lost, pathetic child could do…yes…he would show them all the mistake they had made… He promised….
Promise…
***
It had been five months since he had awoke to the warmth of Knives in his arms… five months since he had kissed his frail lips, realized Vash as his eyes slowly slid open, dimly looking out upon the boundless desert. He heard the sounds of metal being welded in the far depths of the ship, and sighed.
All he ever did was stay I that room, day in, day out. And when he spent time with his brother, every mannerism was filled with desperateness and his hands trembled as if he longed for something, and continued to do so until he went back to work.
Slowly, a few tears drifted down his face as he pulled his knees up, gently holding them in a caressing manner.
What was happening to his brother? He remembered a time where he looked upon those eyes and saw a wondrous feeling of freedom, a beautiful light of superior intelligence…a striking beauty that could never be mimicked. He had seen that light as he lay trembling underneath his own quivering form during the most private acts of love they used to share.
But the last time…those eyes, so distracted…and was that fear in the depths of those sapphire eyes…?
“Knives…” He lightly griped his hair, no longer able to hold back the tears that now flooded down his cheeks in total abandon. “ What’s wrong with you?” Eyes clutching down as tightly as his fists did upon his hair. “ Knives…why are you acting like this…?”
He could feel the yearning of human contact fill his limbs as he sobbed a little louder, his head buried among his knees.
“WHY?!”A hollow scream of emotional distress…something that Knives dismissed as the creaking of the old ship as he worked…
***
Knives’ wiped the sweat from his brow as he continued to work on his precious project. He ran a finger over the delicate metal of the weapon he concocted. It was hard work with the limited resources he was presented with, but that didn’t matter…He knew the end result would be the one he desired…He would get his revenge…and then maybe the voices in his head would finally stop.
May be then, he could rest.
Ever since he had come onto the ancient ship, the memories …the dreams came back to haunt him. Every moment not used on his precious project was spent in painful recollection. It became more that an obsession, his beautiful dream…it became his savior from the demons…the only thing that was able to keep his fears at bay.
Knives had become a being fueled by one desire as every day passed living among the stale corroding ship…the tainted desire of justice…the raging lust of revenge… And he needed it like a staving man craves nourishment…
The reason being, every part of the ship reminded him of one thing…. The pain. Every time he went to wander the ship for parts in certain sectors of the ship, his chest would begin to throb and he would break down; Lying upon his side on the cold metal, curled up, sobbing like an abandoned child. Sometimes he could feel those rough hands forcing him to the floor…sometimes he could feel the pain of being ripped apart…and other times….
A strange feeling would wash over his pale quivering body, and flesh would stir as everything replayed in the young man’s mind as sobs beckoned an invisible attacker to stop. Feelings of desire…disgust…and a thousand other emotions more contradicting than the next would fill him, his own hand running over his own erection as such memories entered his weak and fragile mind. The voices in his mind laughing as he reached within the confining cloth his suit and rapidly jerked at hard, yet delicate flesh, heavy and thick tears falling at a pace more erratic than his short fast breaths.
Such a slut…. Not worthy of such a lovely, innocent young man.
He would cum… the sobs silently fading into gales of nausea as he forced his quaking naked body into a desolate corner, coughing and choking, fighting back the want to vomit. But the hate, the self-loathing of such perverse desires didn’t help to choke back the urge…. He had touched himself…. Mimicking what he made him do so many years before…such a disgusting beings humans are…but in the end, it was his fault…his own perversion that needed to be sated…he was no better than Steve…
In the end, he was nothing but a whore.
After weeping for a few more hours, the coughing fits would stop, and he’d get up, gathering his wits slowly and clumsily, similar to the way his shaking hands attempted to zip the suit to cover his naked skin.
He wanted this hell to end…. And soon, It would…
As soon as he completed them…
Completed the ones which would deliver him from the darkness…
To complete his savoir with his lover by his side….
Such a beautiful dream…so much better than the darkness….
***
A small laugh came from the bottom of his throat. The chuckle broadening into loud, harsh laughter as he stood in the dim room. He had done it. They were finally complete…
His strides went by swiftly in the empty hallways of the ship. His creation complete, he nearly jogged toward the exit of the ship, the two guns dangling from his shaking hands; the sweet emotion of anticipation filling his entire body. It had been a whole year…a year spent in the company of his worst memories. A year spent in hell.
He smiled broadly, noticing Vash’s figure against the wall, quiet murmurs of incoherent sentences escaping his lips until he noticed the presence of Knives as he watched pale blonde locks emerge from the shadows of the ship.
Eyes met for a brief moment, a small shot of electricity between blue and green.
“Knives…” A small whisper amplified with the empty void of the ship.
“I’m finally done.”
He walked past his brother, walking out upon the sand, his step quickening as he made his way up the dune. It was time to test his child. A small gasp for air as he felt his arm grow hot around the weapon. His flesh and blood fusing with the metal. He laughed as he watched the light consume his arm, building and building into something overpowering and oppressive, until the light shot forth.
An explosion…A massive explosion rippled through the once tranquil land. Debris of soil and stone flinging through the air as Vash’s confused green eyes watched the white consume the land before him.
Knives had done that…
Knives…
He ran towards his brother, slightly frightened of the calmness his form held silhouetted against that immense blast. What was going on…? How did he cause the destruction he saw in front of him? Something was wrong…
So very wrong.
Knives gently turned to his brother smiling. Finally, everything came together…finally everything was going his way. Vengeance was in grasp. Sweet vengeance.
He walked towards Vash, his haunting sadistic grin never leaving his features.
“These are our new siblings, dear brother…and this one…” He took the gun, the lighter of the two handing it to Vash. “This one’s yours.”
***
He sat in the desert all alone, the sound of his brother’s retreating cries no longer heard among the desert winds. He cried out, sobs and whimpers emptying into the silence that rang upon his ears. He looked at his wounded leg, the earth becoming tainted with dark crimson and he clutched his injury.
“He shot me…” A light scrambled whisper managed between sobs. “Why…?” His body trembling in anger, sorrow and pain as his hands drifted from his leg to his face, smearing scarlet upon a canvas of pale skin.
“I thought you understood…” the tears began to run down his face more rapidly, the cries growing louder. “I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!! WHY VASH!?! WHY DOSE IT HURT SO MUCH!?”
The voices began to torment his broken mind; it’s bitter laughter filling the constricting walls of his soul and heart. “You’re a stupid ignorant fuck. How could you ever think he could love such a tainted sick bastard like you…?” Knives lied in he dirt, desperately trying to mute the sounds in his head. “You thought because he fucked with you it meant he loved you…? Such a poor delusional child…”
“Stop…. No more…” a vain attempt escaping his lips and he clutched his head a little tighter.
“You were nothing but his whore…just like before….” The voice laughed bitterly making Knives’ eyes fill with hurt and betrayal at a cold realization. “Always the whore…”
Shaken, Knives stood, every nerve filling with pain as he limped toward the ship, his eyes empty and hollow as the laughter in his mind grew louder and louder, deafening him to other sounds around him.
Used…Tainted…
The only able words to describe him as he found himself a convenient corner in the ship to collapse and slowly break down in. Vash exploited his heart and left him here to die …just like everyone else…always used, and when the task was completed, discarded.
He grabbed his shoulders within the dimming light of the ship, noting that his leg had grown slick with blood as he brought his knees to his chest.
Used again…a hazy thought as exhaustion, pain, and the loss of blood made his senses slowly sink into a thick daze. He was always used…but Vash…he shot him…willingly shot him. The pain in his chest began to hurt worse that his wounded leg. The man he suffered for…the man he worshiped in silence wanted to dispose of him.
The man he loved wanted to kill him.
Anger crept into his tear soaked features. Pain. He would show him pain…he would give the man whom betrayed him willingly an ache far worse than he had delivered upon him. He would show him an infinite supply of agony…he would show him how easy it was to kill the race he found so sacred. He would show him how it feels to take the pain of protecting something precious, just as he had done to preserve his innocence.
I will show you infinite pain, dear brother…
I will teach you how it feels to be weak while protecting something you cherish…
Brother…
He passed out in the darkness…his body and mind raw and sore.
I one day he had lost everything….
His heart…
His emotions...
His dreams…
But more importantly, the last ounce of sanity.
He had lost Vash.
And now, for the first time in his entire life, he was truly alone….
***
End of Different shade of Black
Ending notes: Damn, I’m messed up in the head! Why do I write such terrible depressing crap!? What the hell is wrong with meeeeeeee?!? *sigh* I have a few words as I pull this story to a close.
#1: Before I am lynched and groups of hard core Trigun otaku shove pitch forks up my ass, I must say, I have NEVER read the Trigun manga. So please don’t e-mail me and say, “The plants weren’t created by humans! And Vash was really-blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan.” If it’s not in the Anime, I didn’t know…don’t hurt me…. I’m ignorant…
#2.: My grammar sucks…. I know it, you know it, ‘nuff said.
#3: NEVER EVER LISTEN TO “THE SPECTRUM SONG” WHILE WRITING WARPED SEX SCENES! WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN! PLEASE DON’T DO IT! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!