Glass

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura

Date Finished: October 29th, 2003 (my 21st birthday! ;P)

Classification: Romance, Angst

Pairing: Eriol/Yue, Clow/Yue, Touya/Yukito, mild hints of Touya/Yue

Rating: NC-17

Note: Sequel to \'Love Is...\', but can be read independently.



Glass

By Elsewhere

elsewherecw@shaw.ca



All other information in Part One.



Part Five:



Glossary:

na - hey

onii - older brother

To-ya - an alternate romanization and pronunciation of Touya\'s name---Yuki\'s affectionate nickname for Touya



*****

You\'ve captured me

With your voice

Trembling inside

Of a glass heart

*****



\"I\'m home.\"



Touya glanced up from the paperwork he\'d spread over the table when he heard the exhaustion in Yuki\'s voice. He watched as Yuki slowly closed the door and hung up his jacket, sighing softly. Then Yuki turned, and for the first time he noticed that Touya wasn\'t alone. Sitting across from him at the kitchen table were Sakura and Syaoran, both looking just as surprised as Touya by Yuki\'s uncharacteristic behavior.



\"Oh...hello, Sakura-chan, Li-kun,\" Yuki greeted them, a soft smile coming to his lips, even though he knew that all three pairs of eyes staring at him were sensitive enough to see that the smile was false.



\"Good afternoon, Yukito-san,\" Sakura answered gently, a slight frown creasing her brow.



For a moment Yuki stood in awkward silence, wondering what to say next to reassure them that he was fine, just tired...but before he could come up with anything, he was startled by the sound of Sakura shutting the book she\'d been reading and getting quickly to her feet.



\"Syaoran-kun! I completely lost track of the time. We\'re supposed to go to Tomoyo-chan\'s house this afternoon!\"



Syaoran rapidly composed his face into a look of similar chagrin.



\"Oh, that\'s right...\" he said, getting to his feet and swiftly following his wife towards the door.



\"Please excuse us,\" Sakura said, turning to bow to both Yuki and Touya. \"Thank you for having us, Onii-chan.\"



\"Sure,\" Touya replied casually, only glancing at her briefly before turning his eyes back to Yuki. \"Anytime, monster.\"



\"I\'m not a monster!!\" Sakura said with a quick smile before she waved slightly and quickly made her way out the door, Syaoran at her heels. Touya waited until the door had closed behind them, then got to his feet and made his way to Yuki\'s side.



\"Na, Yuki...you all right?\" he asked, laying a hand on Yuki\'s shoulder. Yuki was now staring at the door, looking a bit stunned, as though he regretted having driven Touya\'s guests away.



\"Hm? Oh, To-ya...\" Yuki murmured as he finally turned back and looked up, meeting Touya\'s concerned gaze. \"Sorry. I\'m fine...I\'m just...tired.\"



Touya nodded, stepping a bit closer to wrap his arm around Yuki\'s shoulders.



\"And very hungry,\" Yuki added, and when Touya laughed softly, Yuki finally managed a genuine smile.



\"Well, good thing I made lunch,\" Touya said, letting Yuki go and padding into the kitchen. Yuki followed him, his eyes lighting up when he saw the huge tray of food Touya had prepared. His smile faded into mild surprise when Touya stepped in front of the tray, blocking it from view.



\"But you,\" Touya said, reaching up a finger to poke the tip of Yuki\'s nose, \"don\'t get any until you explain what you were doing this morning.\"



As he said it, he smiled warmly, and Yuki felt some of the tension within him release, melting away. Even Yue seemed soothed by Touya\'s gentle tone and the warmth in his dark brown eyes.



\"I\'m sorry,\" Yuki said with a soft chuckle, glancing downward self-consciously as he adjusted his glasses on his nose. \"We thought we\'d have a bit of harmless fun.\"



\"Harmless? Hmph,\" Touya said gruffly, grinning as he turned and picked up the chopsticks on the tray of food, using them to pick up a clump of rice wrapped in seaweed. He held the food up in front of Yuki\'s face and waved it tantalizingly. Yuki\'s smile widened into a grin, but he kept his eyes firmly on Touya\'s face rather than on the food.



\"I don\'t suppose you\'d be willing to forgive us?\" Yuki asked mirthfully, lifting his eyebrows.



\"Is that an apology?\" Touya asked expectantly in return, raising one of his own eyebrows and narrowing his eyes, creating an impression of suspicion.



Yuki laughed again, that soft, sweet sound that Touya loved so much, and against his will, Touya\'s face relaxed back into a slight grin.



\"Yes...we\'re sorry, To-ya. Sorry.\"



\"Hmph,\" Touya grunted again, shaking his head slightly and holding up the food. Yuki smiled and opened his mouth expectantly, keeping his eyes on Touya\'s as Touya gently placed the food on Yuki\'s tongue. \"Well, I\'ll accept your apology provisionally.\"



\"Provisionally?\" Yuki asked after he swallowed.



\"Mmhm,\" Touya agreed with a smirk as he picked up another piece of food and popped it into Yuki\'s mouth. By this time, Yuki had stepped closer and was leaning slightly against Touya, Touya\'s free hand on his waist.



\"And what might the provisions be?\" Yuki queried, before accepting another morsel and smiling delightedly. \"Mm...this is delicious, To-ya.\"



\"It should be,\" Touya agreed, and then he looked contemplative for a moment as he picked through the tray, trying to decide what to feed Yuki next. \"Well, I can think of the first provision.\"



\"Oh?\"



Touya nodded, then turned and popped another piece of food into Yuki\'s mouth, effectively shutting him up.



\"I need a bath,\" Touya said simply, with a gentle grin. \"And you\'ve got back-scrubbing duty.\"



Yuki almost choked; trying to laugh and chew at the same time obviously wasn\'t healthy.



\"Honestly, To-ya,\" he said sternly when he regained control of himself. \"For such a small transgression, I don\'t think such a terrible punishment is warranted.\"



\"Ah, I know I can be cruel,\" Touya said with a grin. He put down the chopsticks and placed both hands on Yuki\'s shoulders, gently turning him around and guiding him back to the table. \"But you\'ll just have to bear the hardship.\"



\"I\'m sure I\'ll be fine,\" Yuki agreed, and Touya paused as he placed the food tray down in front of Yuki, catching his breath at the depth of love shining up at him from Yuki\'s soft amber eyes.



\"Yuki...\" he began, reaching out to gently brush his knuckles over Yuki\'s cheek.



\"I love you, To-ya,\" Yuki said softly, his fingers coming up to brush lightly over the back of Touya\'s hand. \"I love you.\"



For a moment Touya paused, but then he smiled warmly and sat down across from Yuki.



\"Go on then,\" he said, when Yuki continued watching him. \"Eat. We can deal with your punishment later.\"



Yuki grinned and nodded, and turned his attention to lunch. Already, he felt much better, some of the weariness he had felt since coming back from Eriol\'s house---most of it not his own, but a product of the bone-deep exhaustion that had settled over Yue as soon as he\'d left Eriol---starting to fade away. He knew that Yue was just as grateful for Touya\'s steady, tender presence as Yuki himself was, and that thought led Yuki to a startling realization. Touya was everything to him, the most important part of his life...and if Touya left him, or if he died...then Yuki knew he would be broken...



And that\'s what had happened to Yue. He had lost the person he loved the most...not once, it seemed, but twice, because Yue had thought and hoped that Clow was still alive, when he first met Eriol, only to find that Eriol and Clow weren\'t the same at all. Yuki understood that that still hurt Yue, and he felt that he could understand some of the reason why...he knew that if he ever lost Touya, he wouldn\'t know what to do with himself. That was the situation Yue was in: the reason he was so tired, so emotionally drained after what had happened that morning.



It was almost harder to hope than to give up, Yuki realized.



I won\'t give up, Yue murmured in his mind, responding to the train of his thoughts. It\'s difficult, but I won\'t give up. I intend to give him his chance.



\"I\'m glad, Yue,\" Yuki whispered, and Touya glanced up, but only smiled slightly when he saw that Yuki\'s conscious focus was only on his food. He probably didn\'t even realize he was talking out loud.



*****



Yue awakened, finally, not because of any particular sound or because of any quality of the light, but instead because of a vague emotional certainty that he was no longer cold, for the first time in hours. At first, he felt certain that he was being held, enfolded in the arms and mind of one who was so much a part of him that he ached when he wasn\'t there. But when he rolled over, stretching out an arm along the top of the bed, and his questing fingers met nothing but soft blanket...he realized that perhaps that had been the dream.



For a brief instant, his heart knew what it was to experience the human emotion of panic without good reason. But in the next instant, as he was sitting up, clutching at the blankets and staring wide-eyed across the room towards the fireplace and the armchair set before it, his heart calmed again, easily sedated by the gentle caress of Clow\'s eyes against his.



\"Yue,\" Clow murmured, and Yue watched as Clow rose slowly from his chair. It surprised Yue to see no book slip from Clow\'s hand to the table by the chair\'s side. It was unusual that Clow would sit before a fire, these days, without a book in hand.



\"How do you feel?\" Clow\'s voice was exceptionally soft: this was the tone he reserved for those days when his servant Yue behaved more like a glass sculpture, fragile and easily lost, than as a powerful guardian possessing more magic in one instant within the shimmering silver depths of his eyes than most magic users managed to achieve over a lifetime, purchased at the price of their souls.



Abruptly---Yue experienced most emotions as a sudden burst of clarity, a brief glimpse of something understandable among a complex of mirrored fragments---Yue felt ashamed, and as he remembered his own tears, he placed his hand against a cheek burning under a pale pink blush. He wanted to say he was sorry, to apologize for being stupid...but when he looked up, Clow was standing by the side of the bed, dressed only in casual evening robes and smiling behind his pince-nez, and suddenly, Yue felt that it was shameful that he should feel shame.



\"Are you all right?\" Clow asked again, and as was his usual practice when Yue was confused, he had fallen back to the tongue Yue had first learned upon his creation. The rounded sounds of the English syllables sounded strange after so long hearing him speaking the smooth vowels of Japanese. It had been so long, then, since Yue had fallen so far, that he had forgotten the sound of Clow\'s sympathy.



Yue swallowed, looking down at his hands. His throat seemed suddenly very dry, parched like the desert the former green of the garden would be, when the snow was burned away. So much death, just outside the window...Yue swallowed again.



\"Master, I...\"



\"Please, Yue,\" Clow said, with a quiet sigh, and Yue glanced up just in time to watch him take off his pince-nez and pinch his nose wearily between thumb and finger. \"Not tonight.\"



Yue hushed all further attempts at commentary instantly, his eyes returning to his lap, where he rested his hands. They looked pale and useless in the firelight, especially in the shadowed places where his blood had created miniature blots of misery across his moonlit skin.



He glanced up again, unable to help his curiosity, when he felt the bed dip slightly, and he fought not to jump when Clow\'s hand closed lightly over his, clasped tightly now against his stomach. He looked up towards Clow\'s face, just as Clow blinked in surprise, jaw going slack.



\"Yue, why are you afraid?\" he whispered, eyebrows raised, deep brown eyes falling into darkness as he leaned into the shadows to look closer at Yue\'s face.



\"I...I fear I have committed an inanity, Master,\" Yue said falteringly, eyelids dropping closed, unable to face Clow\'s reaction to his words.



His eyes snapped open again, face going pale with shock, when he heard the smooth, low sound of Clow\'s chuckle. He was surprised to find the same warmth reflected in Clow\'s face, to see that Clow\'s eyes were closed now as he smiled, which he only tended to do when he was utterly delighted. Of course, delight came easily to Clow Read, as did all other emotions of caliber.



\"Yue,\" Clow said softly, and Yue felt a shiver run down his spine, as it so often did, at the sound of his name spoken so reverently upon his creator\'s tongue. There was something about the way Clow said his name, his tongue caressing the syllables lightly, that felt so different from the way anyone else might address him. To others, it may have just been a word, a Chinese word, the name of a celestial object borrowed to label a creature born of the object\'s magic. But at times like this---firelight flickering against his pale skin, odd shadows dancing lightly over the pastels of his robes---the way Clow said his name was sweeter than anything he could have imagined.



\"Yue, there is no inanity in your sorrow,\" Clow said, with patience and with humor, his hand stroking lightly along Yue\'s hair, fingertips dancing across his cheek, tracing one pale eyelid when Yue\'s eyes slid shut. Yue let out a breath against Clow\'s thumb when it came to rest against Yue\'s lower lip, and Clow let out another sigh that seemed oddly mingled with a laugh. \"Nor in your happiness. If it were summer, I would buy you vanilla ice cream and keep it secret from Cerberus, and you would forget your roses and smile again.\"



Just as abruptly as he had felt shamed, Yue felt extremely embarrassed.



\"Exactly,\" Yue said, sighing as he closed his eyes and leaned back, and he found himself leaning against Clow\'s chest. In that instant, when his gaze had turned away, Clow had shifted position and now sat behind him, hands linked gently over Yue\'s stomach, arms securely around his waist. Yue was wingless---either he or Clow must have folded them within before he had gone to sleep, Yue mused. He pressed his head back against Clow\'s shoulder, inhaling the understated scent of Clow: beeswax candles, musty tomes, chocolate oranges and sakura flowers.



\"My emotions...I wish I could control them,\" Yue said quietly, a frown marring the pale skin of his forehead. \"One moment I feel so embittered, and the next I am happy again, enchanted by some bauble you\'ve given me. Why can\'t I understand...?\"



\"You may, someday,\" Clow murmured against his hair. Yue shivered again at the feeling of Clow pressed against him, Clow\'s hands stroking his abdomen, and at the way Clow breathed against him. He wondered what he smelled like, to Clow. Did he smell like flowers and chocolate and spice? Or did he smell of nothingness? If he wanted to, he could press close enough to see, to know what Clow\'s mind felt when he nuzzled his nose to Yue\'s skin...but not now. Yue decided to be content, for the moment, with wondering.



\"Then again, you may not,\" Clow added, and Yue felt his smile. \"I know I never have. Yue, one moment I\'m bewitched by a butterfly I see alighting on the window ledge, and the next, I\'m near tears at the thought that that creature\'s life is nearly over. You and I are naturally alike in that...these small things affect us. It can\'t be helped. I\'m sorry.\"



\"You have nothing to apologize for,\" Yue whispered, and then he sat up, Clow\'s hands falling away as Yue turned around and knelt between Clow\'s raised knees.



\"Clow,\" Yue breathed, placing his hands on Clow\'s chest as he leaned forward, his eyes seeking Clow\'s, meeting and holding them. \"You didn\'t answer my question, earlier. Will you, too, die?\"



Clow smiled, reaching up an elegant hand to trace gentle fingertips back through Yue\'s hair, stroking his temple.



\"Yes,\" Clow answered, softly, the low pitch of his voice resonating so deeply in Yue that he felt himself shivering again, deep in places that even he couldn\'t bear to touch. \"But there will still be vanilla ice cream, Yue.\"



Yue frowned at his flippant tone, his fatuous words.



\"Clow, be serious, please,\" he said, though his tone conveyed more of a command than a request, as usual.



\"Chocolate?\" Clow asked, and when annoyance flashed across Yue\'s eyes, he laughed, eyes falling closed, and leaned back against the headboard. He took a moment to catch his breath before he opened his eyes again, taking in the pale, confused face just inches from his own.



\"Yue,\" he repeated, in that same slow, measured way that made tiny fingers of sensation dance up Yue\'s spine. Clow leaned forward and took Yue\'s face in his hands, and leaned a bit closer to place a soft, almost trivial kiss against the tip of Yue\'s nose. \"Yue...yes, I will die, one day. And so will you. Death is important, as important as life, and we should be no more afraid to die than we are to live.\"



\"But I am afraid to live!\" Yue protested, hand drawing into a fist against Clow\'s chest. \"I\'m afraid to live without you!\"



Clow opened his eyes to regard the creature before him, who suddenly appeared nothing more than a petulant child, lower lip jutting out, eyes flashing with irritation and stubborn insistence.



\"Yue,\" he said patiently, hand clasping around Yue\'s fist, patient touches slowly drawing the tense digits apart. He intertwined his hands with Yue\'s and held them between their bodies, moving them lightly in the air, a soft dance against the shadows thrown by the firelight. \"You will live on without me. I know you don\'t believe so now, but you won\'t be afraid.\"



Yue opened his mouth to protest, but Clow touched a finger, still clasped with Yue\'s, against Yue\'s lower lip again, and the guardian silenced, his breath leaving him in a whoosh.



\"Which would you rather, Yue...? To dwell on that which is to come, that which cannot be changed...or to think instead of what is now, what is *this moment*?\" Clow tilted his head slightly, smiling again from behind closed eyes. \"You aren\'t the type to dwell, Yue. Like me, your thoughts are quicksilver, and you\'re quick to change emotions. Tell me truthfully...are you still miserable?\"



Yue still gave the appearance of pouting, but his eyes were cast downwards, unable to meet Clow\'s.



\"No,\" he admitted reluctantly. \"I don\'t know what I feel, Clow. Except...that I love you. I love you, I couldn\'t ever love anyone else, and I\'m afraid that...\"



His voice hitched, and died away, his eyes falling closed.



\"In that, Yue...you and I are also the same,\" Clow murmured, his forehead touching Yue\'s, closing the distance between them. His hands were gentle as he gathered Yue to his chest, settling the slender guardian in the space between his legs, enclosing him in warmth.



\"When you say that, does it mean that you love me, or that like me, you don\'t truly know what you feel?\" Yue questioned, opening his eyes but staring resolutely at the fabric of Clow\'s robe, clenched gently between his fingers.



\"It means, Yue...\" Clow stopped, considering his answer carefully, his hands soothing through Yue\'s hair both because it helped him to think and because it brought Yue comfort. Yue shifted himself slightly until he was lying against Clow\'s chest again, eyes turned upwards to watch the expression on Clow\'s face, the emotions that moved along behind closed eyelids as Clow turned the question over in his mind.



\"It means that you are more than the being I created,\" Clow said finally, softly, keeping his eyes closed as he spoke. \"You feel things on your own...you have gone beyond what I gave you the capability for. I truly believe that, and so I believe that you love me for myself, and not because I am your creator. And because of that, I always love you with the strength of my own feelings, far beyond that which a master would feel for a servant, which you are *not*, Yue, and I hate it when you behave as though you are.\"



Yue smiled slightly, despite himself, to hear this. Clow was rarely a man of many words, preferring to dwell in the silence of his own thoughts, and the comfortable connection he shared with his two guardians.



\"I do love you,\" Clow murmured, opening his eyes and smiling down at Yue, a rare, sunburst dazzling smile that made Yue\'s heart pound more deeply than it had before, when he had thought of how he would lose Clow, someday. He realized, for an instant, that Clow might have been right---that this feeling was deeper and more precious than the fear---but then it was gone, lost to the sensation of Clow\'s lips against his neck, hands stroking his arms, his back, his stomach, forehead, lips and neck, so much motion and so soft. Yue faltered, fell forward, and suddenly he was sprawled across Clow, hands in Clow\'s hair as Clow leaned up into him, hands playing with the fastenings of his robes as his lips grazed a blaze of heat over Yue\'s larynx.



\"Mmmmm...this is better than ice cream,\" Yue moaned against Clow\'s shoulder, and he was pleased by the laughter that rippled through him, a gift of how closely Clow was pressed up against him, as Clow chuckled against his neck.



\"I\'ll buy you some anyway, come summer,\" Clow promised, and Yue moaned again as he was gently guided over onto his back, and Clow was pressing against him, hands roaming over him, tangled webs of robes draping off to one side or another, left there in impatience as Yue reached up, trying to touch everything at once. His fingertips traced all the important places, every place that meant something to him, in memory...the place where Clow would sigh, just so...the place that made him cry, arch his neck...the place that made him whisper Yue\'s name, opening his eyes to stare at Yue with such intensity that Yue always felt he would burn...



\"Don\'t tell Cerberus...about the ice cream,\" Yue pleaded, leaning up along with Clow as Clow leaned back to remove the rest of his own clothing. He laughed, one hand dropping to curve against the small of Yue\'s back, holding him steady as he straddled Clow\'s lap.



\"I think he already knows,\" Clow confessed, grinning as Yue groaned into his neck, not because of embarrassment, but because Clow was holding Yue\'s hips and grinding up against him, and suddenly Yue felt filled to the brim with the heat of this, as though any moment pale skin could burst open and the room would fall prey to the light of an angel. Then Clow pressed Yue back into the bed, covering his body with his own, and Yue caught his breath; he knew he wouldn\'t have to wait much longer.



\"Yue...\" Clow said, again and again...he treasured the word as he treasured Yue, reverence in the touch of his fingertips, the brush of his lips, along Yue\'s collarbone, his biceps, a single slender wrist, the perfect spread of his ribs, the smooth curve of a hip, and beyond...



Yue shouted wordlessly, bucking upwards helplessly, his hands against Clow\'s head as Clow drank him in, hands against Yue\'s legs, stroking his thighs. So careful, so caring...Clow always treated him as though every inch of his body was sacred, precious to him in a way that was so much more than a creator would feel for his creation. In these moments, Yue dared to believe him, to believe that he was more than he had been made to be. Surely these feelings were his own, regardless of their origin. This was private, and precious to him as well.



Yue cried out again helplessly as he was released from the molten heat of Clow\'s mouth, sinking back against the bed even as Clow pressed into him, lips questing along the curve of shoulder and neck, hands stroking again over chest and stomach, fingertip teasingly circling a small puckered navel.



\"Clow, don\'t, I...\" Yue began, intending to beg, to ask not to have to wait, but suddenly his thighs were clasped in Clow\'s hands and his knees were drawn up towards his shoulders. He moved automatically, wrapping his arms around Clow\'s waist until Clow was pressed against him, so close, and it ached so badly to be so close...



\"Clow!\" Yue whispered desperately when Clow took hold of his hips and pushed, sliding slickly inside, moving easily within the magical liquid warmth he\'d created with the barest whisper of a familiar word. \"Clow...\"



\"Don\'t speak, Yue...\" Clow whispered, and then he smiled, brown eyes gentle as they met Yue\'s, watching cold silver melt into lavender softness. \"Or do...do as you wish, but don\'t hold back.\"



\"You know I can\'t,\" Yue murmured, clasping his hands back against the blankets, lifting himself, trying to press closer. They were chest to chest, Yue\'s face buried into the crook of Clow\'s shoulder as Clow\'s hands stroked Yue\'s legs, then downwards to the place they were joined. Clow\'s hips rocked smoothly back and forwards, until Yue was gasping with every breath, shifting himself upwards in time with Clow\'s movements, meeting him stroke for stroke.



\"Yue...\" Clow whispered, his eyes unnaturally bright now, watching Yue\'s face. The angel had his eyes closed, brow furrowed as he struggled towards what he knew waited for him. His hand was clasping Clow\'s neck so tightly his nails would be sure to leave tiny crescent-moon shaped marks. He was radiant like this, moonlight beneath pale skin, threatening to break loose and bathe all in its wake in luminescence. Clow reached for that light, his hand in Yue\'s hair, the other pressed to the bed now as he moved forwards, desperation in every movement, the need to reach some conclusion...



\"Ah...Clow...Clow!\" Yue burst out again, breath exploding against Clow\'s ear as he arched up beneath Clow, eyes opening in the last moment to watch as Clow too fell away, groaning deeply and pressing Yue into the bed. Their eyes met, in the brief moment of transition between white hot pleasure-pain and milky, mellow sensation, and Clow was smiling, and Yue found himself doing the same, grinning helplessly as Clow tangled his fingers in Yue\'s hair and whispered his name over and over into his ear, like the precious words of a lover.



Yue was about to speak when he was silenced by the touch of Clow\'s mouth over his, stealing away breath and thought. Time passed and held still beneath the light of the sliver of moon bleeding through the windowpane, and the rich deep red of firelight, bronzing their skin. Clow kissed him the way he touched him, like a man looking upon the most important feeling in his life, and Yue\'s hands clasped Clow as though he was afraid he would go. Perhaps it was because of this, or perhaps something else...but Yue tasted salt briefly on his tongue, and he knew it wasn\'t his...his eyes were dry.



He leaned back reluctantly and opened his eyes, staring at the silvery tears streaked across Clow\'s face, already drying.



\"Clow...\" he began, brow furrowing slightly.



\"Never mind,\" Clow said softly, grinning slightly as he leaned forward to nuzzle gently into his lover\'s cheek. Lover, not servant; beloved, beyond creation. \"You\'re so beautiful, Yue. So beautiful, here, like this...to me.\"



Yue nodded slightly, closing his eyes again and simply enjoying the overflowing sensation of warmth, Clow resting gently over him, weight pressing him into the bed reminding him of constancy.



\"As you are to me, Clow,\" he said, and he meant it, and for a moment he thought he recognized the taste of Clow\'s tears.



*****



This time, when Yuki woke, he was crying, and Touya was already awake, holding him and stroking a hand soothingly back through his hair. Touya\'s whispered words made it clear that he understood without needing to ask: he knew that Yuki\'s tears weren\'t of sadness, but instead the kind of tears someone like Yuki tended to shed upon looking at something extraordinarily beautiful. He was easily affected like that, and Touya, in his usual fashion, had remarkable patience.



Some time later, Yuki cradled Touya in his arms, against his chest, loving the warm weight of his lover on top of him, between his legs. They waited until they started to breathe again, sweat cooling, before Touya spoke to ask him if he had dreamed his own dream, or another\'s.



Yuki told him it hadn\'t been a dream, but instead a memory, and that it wasn\'t his, but something that Yue had no qualm in sharing. Touya said nothing more, but without needing to ask, Yuki knew that he was aware of the whole thing...about Clow Read, and about Yue, and that Clow had loved Yue with all his heart, and Yue had given away his own heart on the day that Clow died.



Odd... Yue murmured, and Yuki felt his own hand trailing up his chest, coming to rest over the very centre, feeling a warm pulse there that made him smile. I never thought to hear it beat again...I knew it was there, but I never paid attention. Why didn\'t I listen?



Touya asked him if it hurt, and Yuki knew he didn\'t mean the sex. Yes, he told him, it did hurt...but only in the best possible way.



Maybe you didn\'t want it to, Yue. Maybe you didn\'t allow it to until now. What is it that happened, to make you want this again, now?



To that Yue was silent, but he didn\'t seem angry, or even frightened. He was just silent, and in the comfort of that simple grace, Yuki fell asleep, cradled in his lover\'s arms.



*****



END PART FIVE