Thy Outward Part

Once again, this is not mine. There are 2 more chapters to post after this.
I posted technical virginity even though it was by a different author, because
it fit in chronologically.
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sterman@sprynet.com (Richard Lawson)

This is the third installment in the series that began with \"Thy Outward
Part\" and continued in \"The Nature of Love\". I plan on one more story
after this.

There are sexually explicit scenes in this story. There *is* a serious
story sandwiched between the lemon bits; if the lemon offends you, you
can skip over those bits and still be able to follow the story.

As always, let me know what you think.

--
-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com

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All my fanfics can be found at:
http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/sterman/fanfic.htm
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Why didst thou promise such a beauteous day,
And make me travel forth without my cloak,
To let base clouds o\'ertake me in my way,
Hiding thy bravery in their rotten smoke?
\'Tis not enough that through the cloud thou break,
To dry the rain on my storm-beaten face,
For no man well of such a salve can speak
That heals the wound and cures not the disgrace:
Nor can thy shame give physic to my grief;
Though thou repent, yet I have still the loss:
The offender\'s sorrow lends but weak relief
To him that bears the strong offence\'s cross.
Ah! but those tears are pearl which thy love sheds,
And they are rich and ransom all ill deeds.

William Shakespeare
Sonnet XXXIV


Those Tears are Pearl

by Richard Lawson

Comments and Criticism Welcome!
sterman@sprynet.com


Ranma woke slowly, as always. She let out a forceful breath, a general
complaint against the world for depriving her of sleep. She reached out
with her hand, hoping to draw strength from the one she slept with. She
could always count on that to help her through the bad times, big and
small.

Her had encountered nothing but sheets. She frowned, then succumbed to the
inevitable by opening her eyes.

She was the only one in bed. She looked out the window, to see the sky only
just beginning to lighten.

More light was coming from underneath the bathroom door. Ranma frowned at
it, then got up and padded over to pull it open.

Kentaro turned to look at her, a little surprised. He had just finished
taking a shower, and was standing over the sink, shaving. He smiled at her.
\"Good morning.\"

She frowned at him. \"What time did you get home last night?\"

He shrugged. \"Pretty late. You were fast asleep, so I didn\'t wake you.\" He
turned back to the mirror to continue shaving.

Ranma examined him closely, frowning. He had only a towel wrapped around
his waist. His torso was well-defined, a result of the training she\'d put
him under for the past four or five years. His skin was smooth and golden,
and his face, while average, had intelligent, thoughtful eyes that were his
best feature.

Still, she\'d never been able to find him attractive. That was still a hold-
over from her previous existence. No man had ever been able to turn her
head, even the man she shared a bed with. She could sit and watch him all
day and not get aroused just by the way he looked.

That didn\'t mean, however, that she didn\'t enjoy having sex with him. It
had been a slow, tedious process between the two of them, first getting to
the point where she felt ready to have sex, then accustoming her body and
her psyche to the pleasures of sex. Kentaro had been very patient with her,
and after many months she\'d come to find it something she liked to do with
him.

Now that she\'d actually come to anticipate having sex with him, however,
he\'d found less time to actually partake of it.

She cleared her throat slightly. \"So, why didn\'t you wake me up when you
got home?\"

He finished shaving his lip, then started washing off the remains of the
shaving cream. \"I told you, you were fast asleep.\"

Ranma grunted. \"And you didn\'t think I\'d find a reason to enjoy being
awakened?\"

Kentaro turned to her, frowning slightly himself. \"Well, you know, I was
pretty tired myself.\"

\"Uh huh.\" She tilted her head. \"When\'s the last time we made love?\"

He paused for a second, looking inside himself.

She didn\'t wait for him to find an answer. \"See? You have to think about
it. It\'s been way too long.\"

He grinned at her. \"Sorry. You know how busy I\'ve been. How busy we\'ve both
been.\"

She shrugged. \"We\'ve always been busy. We\'ve somehow managed to fit it in
before.\"

He sighed, looking slightly irritated and slightly defensive. \"I\'m sorry
Ranma, really I am. Maybe Sunday we can....\"

\"Sunday!\" Ranma glared at him. \"I am *not* going to become like those
couples who plan when they are going to have sex, like a weekly ritual to
be completed when convenient. In fact, I think it quite likely that we are
going to have sex right now.\"

Kentaro grimaced. \"Ranma, I have to get over to the University. I\'ve got a
meeting with....\"

\"You\'re not listening, Kentaro.\" She crossed her arms and grabbed the
bottom of her tank top. She lifted it slowly over her head, letting it fall
to the ground. She had an excellent body, and she knew the effect it would
have on Kentaro.

As she dropped the tank top on the ground, she saw that it was working. His
eyes were roaming her body, and his face was getting that kind of dreamy
expression it got when his rationality began giving way to his desire.

He shook himself. \"Ranma, I really can\'t afford to....\"

He trailed off as she grabbed the waistband of her boxer shorts. Although
she sometimes wore panties out of necessity, this was not one of those
times. She still preferred boxers whenever possible. She slowly slipped the
waistband over her hips and let the shorts fall to the ground. She stepped
out of them and kicked them to the side, standing completely naked in front
of him.

Kentaro\'s breathing was getting a little ragged and his eyes were very
wide. With considerable effort, he looked past her and began to walk past
her into the bedroom. \"I... I\'ve got to....\"

Ranma growled. She grabbed his towel and ripped it off him.

He spun and his eyes flashed. \"Ranma, I....\"

She grabbed his arm and spun him back around, holding his arm high up his
back. \"You are going to do what I tell you to do, Kentaro.\" She forced him
over to the futon.

Kentaro began to sound angry. \"Ranma, let me go.\"

\"Make me.\" She shoved him down onto the futon, still holding his arm, and
fell on top of him. She rubbed her breasts against his back, enjoying the
sensation and knowing it would do things to him as well.

\"Ranma, let me go *now*.\" He sounded very angry, but she could hear the
desire in his voice as well.

She released his arm. She grabbed his shoulders and spun him around,
rolling them both over until he was on top of her. She locked her legs
around his and grabbed the hair on the back of his head. \"There are two
ways you can get out of this. One is to use the training I\'ve given you in
the Art to free yourself. I\'ll let you guess what the other way is.\" She
forced his head down until it was poised above her breast.

He put his arms on the futon to either side of her and tried to push
himself off. He didn\'t have much leverage, however, and her legs were
easily able to keep him in place. She took her free hand and began idly
tracing the outline of his pects, knowing that he liked that.

He snarled and tried to reach up and grab the hand that was holding his
head. He slipped, however, and his face fell into her breast. Ranma sighed
with pleasure that was mostly affected. She brought both of her hands to
his head and began to rub them through his hair, releasing her grip but
ready to grab his head again should he try to move it.

Kentaro just lay there for a moment, his face pressed into her breast.
Finally, he moved his head slightly and kissed it. She sighed again and
adjusted herself so that her nipple moved closer to his mouth. Kentaro
obliged by kissing it, then taking it into his mouth and sucking gently on
it.

Now Ranma\'s sighs were not affected. This was really turning her on; she
was *very* aroused. Somehow this game was exciting her like she\'d never
been excited in the past. Her sighs turned into soft groans, which
surprised her; she\'d never done *that* before.

Kentaro lifted his head, and she allowed him to. He moved over to her other
breast and began giving it the same attention, and she groaned again. Her
whole body was quivering slightly.

Finally Kentaro lifted his head again and shifted himself. She unwrapped
her legs and spread them so that he could position himself. He entered her,
and Ranma gasped. This felt *good*. Very, very good. She arched her back a
little, forcing him deeper inside of her.

They began to move together. Ranma was breathing quickly, every exhale
turning into a moan. She moved her hips in rhythm to Kentaro\'s thrusts, and
it was building, building into something big. She had never been this...
high before. Her groans were increasing in volume, despite her attempts to
control it. Her control was quite simply gone. She managed to say Kentaro\'s
name, finding that saying it made her feel even better. Only Kentaro could
do this to her; only Kentaro could make her feel this way.

Then he went rigid. Ranma tried to keep her hips moving, crying out, \"No!\".
But he stayed locked in place, then sort of collapsed on top of her.

She wasn\'t done yet, she still needed to go just a little further to
complete the incredible climax she\'d been building towards. She kissed his
shoulder rapidly. She knew he needed just a few seconds, then he could at
least continue long enough to get her where she wanted to go. To where
she\'d never been, at least not this intensely.

Instead, he quickly lifted himself off of her and rolled out of bed.

Ranma cried out, in disappointment more than anything else. \"Kentaro,
wait!\"

\"I can\'t wait any more.\" He went to the bureau, quickly lifted out a set of
clothes, then walked quickly into the bathroom and shut the door.

Ranma stared at the door, her body still buzzing. He couldn\'t do this to
her. She\'d... she\'d been so close. So close to so many things. Then he\'d
left her on the doorstep, as it were. He\'d continued long enough until he\'d
satisfied himself and found a way to extricate himself from her.

Kentaro opened the door and began gathering things to put into his bookbag.
\"I am so late. I\'ve got to get over to the school. I\'ve got meetings and
classes all day, then I\'ve got to get over to the hospital.\"

He slung the bookbag over his shoulder, then looked at her. He looked
incredibly guilty. \"I won\'t be home until very late, quite likely. Maybe
you should stay at the dojo tonight.\"

She just stared into his eyes, not answering.

He lowered his eyes. \"See you later.\" He turned and quickly left the
apartment.

The sound of the door closing reverberated through her brain. She sat on
the bed for a long time, trying to figure it all out.

A glance at the clock told her that she didn\'t have much time herself if
she was going to catch the next train to Nerima. Sighing, this time out of
sadness and frustration, she got up and prepared to leave the apartment.

***

Ranma stood in front of the class, examining everyone. This class was just
beginners, and it showed. She went around correcting a few stances. Most of
them were breathing heavily. They were always like that for the first few
months. She insisted on a stringent physical regimen that left most of her
students on the verge of collapse until they were properly conditioned.
Some dropped out. Nabiki sometimes berated her for losing their potential
fees, but Ranma had no sympathy. If they wanted somebody to teach them to
punch and kick, there were lots of other dojos. It they wanted somebody to
teach them the Art, Ranma was willing - as long as they did it her way.
Those that stayed understood the distinction, and they were better students
for it.

Ranma finally dismissed the class. They began to filter out, some mumbling
and most of them looking relieved. At least they could walk. Ranma smiled,
remembering Kentaro\'s condition after her first session with him. She had
been extremely harsh with him. She had wanted to make sure that he truly
wanted to learn the Art, that he wasn\'t just in it to try and score with
her. While getting to know her had been a primary motivation, he did
exhibit a genuine interest in learning what she had to teach. He\'d paid the
price, however. By the end of their first session, he\'d collapsed into a
quivering heap on the mat. She\'d laughed, amused and oddly touched by the
force of his will that kept him going after his body had wanted to
surrender. He hadn\'t fallen to the ground until she\'d given him permission
to.

Thoughts of Kentaro lead her to think about what had happened that morning.
She frowned, feeling her stomach tighten.

\"Hey, what\'s with the long face? You didn\'t scare off the whole class, did
you?\"

Ranma lifted her eyes to the dojo door. She felt her melancholy leave her.
She smiled happily. \"Akane! What brings you here?\"

Akane shrugged. \"It\'s my day to look in on Father.\"

Ranma nodded. Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi took turns visiting Soun, doing odd
jobs around the house and keeping him company. The house was mostly empty
now that the Tendo daughters had moved out and Ranma\'s mother and father
were living at their own house. Ranma did her fair share, too, since she
came over almost every day to teach classes, even spending the night a
couple of times a week.

\"Well, I was going to cook up one of Kasumi\'s pre-packaged meals for
dinner.\" Ranma found, to her surprise, that she enjoyed cooking. She liked
making salads especially. She had her own technique that was quite
invigorating. \"Are you going to stay?\"

Akane smiled. \"That\'d be nice.\"

Ranma smiled back at her. Akane had become a good friend since... since
Ranma had made a very tough decision almost a year ago. They didn\'t see
much of each other, however. Akane had her own life, and Ranma spent much
of her time either teaching or back at the apartment she shared with
Kentaro.

Ranma walked out of the dojo and entered the house. She went into the
kitchen and quickly fixed dinner, calling everyone to the kitchen. Dinner
in the post-Kasumi era was a much more informal affair; everyone served
themselves from the food still in the cooking dishes and ate wherever they
wanted to.

Ranma usually ate in her room, which had been converted to a small office
for taking care of the business end of the dojo. Here Ranma\'s college
courses came into play: she was able to keep everything in more or less in
order, much to Nabiki\'s outspoken amazement. Nabiki, despite her sometimes
caustic wit, had been a big help in setting up the accounts and
bookkeeping. No one in the Tendo/Saotome clan had been more supportive than
Nabiki, which had greatly surprised Ranma.

Tonight, however, Ranma sat with Akane at the table, along with Soun. Soun
talked brightly with Akane, and Ranma kept in the background, letting them
get caught up. Ranma felt just a small need at this point to see two people
who loved each other enjoying each other\'s company.

\"So, Akane...\" Soun spoke in a somewhat teasing and somewhat serious tone
of voice. Ranma knew what he was going to ask next. \"When are you getting
married?\"

\"Dad.\" Akane\'s voice had only a touch of heat in it. Mostly she sounded
tired, weary of the subject. \"I don\'t even have a boyfriend. I\'ll get
married when it\'s right to get married.\"

Soun pouted slightly. \"I\'ve got this big house and no one to fill it with
children. Don\'t leave your poor father waiting too long, eh?\"

\"Dad....\" Akane trailed off. She grimaced, then spoke in the same, tired
voice. \"Yes, Father.\" She went back to eating.

Soun frowned at her for a moment, then turned to Ranma. \"What about you,
Son? Er, I mean Daughter. Wouldn\'t you and Kentaro like to live here?\"

It wasn\'t the first time Soun had raised that particular subject, either.
Ranma shrugged her shoulders. \"We\'ll see. After he finishes med school,
we\'ll make some decisions then.\"

Soun frowned at Ranma. She ignored him. The rest of dinner was finished in
silence.

Akane got up and began gathering up the dishes. \"I\'ll clean up. I\'ve got
some other stuff to do, too.\"

Ranma smiled. \"Thanks, Akane. Think I\'ll wash up.\" She nodded at Soun, then
went upstairs. She quickly undressed and washed herself under the shower,
using cold water. She frowned at the tub. Hot baths were a habit she\'d
weaned herself off during the past year. It had been very difficult; she\'d
really enjoyed relaxing in hot water. Tonight, however, she decided to
indulge herself. It had been so long, and she really needed it right now.

Ranma filled the tub, then stepped in. The water felt wonderful, better
than Ranma had remembered. He sighed and loosened his muscles, letting the
heat enter.

Kentaro. Kentaro being insensitive seemed like a contradiction in terms.
What Ranma had first found attractive about him was the quiet understanding
he showed, the way he listened to and respected Ranma. Something had
changed in the past few months, something that frightened Ranma. He let
the hot water calm his mind and carry away his worries, for now.

He spent far more time in the tub than he had meant to. With a start he
realized that he\'d nearly fallen asleep. He stretched and finally got out
of the tub. He dried himself off before he could remember to douse himself
with cold water. He glared at the shower head, then decided not to bother.
He wasn\'t going back to the apartment tonight anyway. He went to his room
and put on clothes that would fit, including his old red silk shirt. He
looked at his reflection in the mirror, and frowned. The pony-tail was
okay - he\'d worn one even before he\'d been cursed. The bangs looked out of
place, though. He pinned them back and grunted. It looked okay, and the
pins were almost invisible.

Ranma frowned, wondering why he was going through all the trouble. He
shrugged and sat down at his desk. He caught up a little on his
bookkeeping, then went back downstairs. He found Akane and Soun playing
shogi. He sat and watched them. Soun glanced at him and raised an eyebrow,
but said nothing.

Akane was concentrating furiously on the board. Ranma smiled; she took
every contest very seriously, and always did her absolute utmost to win. He
kinda liked that about her. She moved a piece, then turned towards Ranma
and started. \"R-Ranma!\" She looked him up and down.

He shrugged a little self-consciously. \"Been a while. Didn\'t see any harm
in it.\"

She gave him a strange look, then turned back to the board.

The game went on for some time. Ranma found a strange peace in just
watching. He supposed he should be thinking more about Kentaro, but he just
didn\'t feel like it. Instead, he tried to follow the game.

There eventually came a point where Soun was clearly winning. Akane frowned
at the board for a long time, then conceded defeat. They relaxed at that
point and talked pleasantly for a while.

It was dark outside when Akane finally glanced at her watch. \"I suppose I
should be going home, Dad. Kasumi will be here the day after tomorrow.
She\'s bringing Kikuko with her.\"

Soun brightened at the mention of his granddaughter. \"Wonderful! I\'ll go
buy her a present tomorrow.\"

Akane smiled indulgently. \"Haven\'t you bought her enough gifts already?\"

\"Well, if one of my other daughters would only give me someone else to buy
presents for, I wouldn\'t have to spoil Kikuko so much.\"

Akane snorted and laughed. Ranma chuckled with her, then glanced outside.
\"Dark out. Can I walk you home, Akane?\"

Her eyes glinted, and Ranma waited for the inevitable explosion, where she
protested that she didn\'t need an escort, that she was perfectly capable of
taking care of herself. Then she seemed to hitch, and finally came out
with, \"I\'d like that Ranma. Thanks.\"

Ranma decided to ignore the way her acquiescence made his chest tighten a
little. Together they got up, and Akane quickly hugged Soun goodbye.

They walked out to the street, walking side by side down the road. Ranma
refrained from jumping onto the fence. Somehow it felt better to walk next
to Akane.

Akane had her hands folded in front of her as she walked. She bit her lip,
then turned her head towards him. \"You never did answer my question.\"

This surprised Ranma. He tried to think back. \"What question?\"

\"Why the long face.\" Her voice was soft and quiet, gentle and encouraging.
\"What you were thinking about in the dojo that made you so sad.\"

Ranma looked at her, at the way her eyes searched his face. He thinned his
lips, but decided he needed someone to talk to, and Akane was his best bet.
\"It\'s just that things haven\'t been the greatest between Kentaro and me
lately.\"

Her eyes widened slightly. \"What\'s wrong?\"

Ranma looked ahead of them, staring at nothing at all. \"He spends all his
time at school and at the hospital working as an intern. He comes home only
to sleep, wash, and change his clothes. Once in a while, he eats dinner. He
even goes to the university to study, since he says all the reference books
are there. We hardly see each other any more.\"

Ranma blew out a breath. \"He\'s beginning to take me for granted.\" He
flushed. \"I hate saying that. I hate feeling that way. It makes me sound
so... so...\"

\"Unmanly?\"

Ranma turned to Akane, surprised. \"Uh, yeah. I guess that\'s it.\"

Akane snorted. \"Don\'t feel that way, Ranma. It\'s a terrible way to treat
any person, man or woman. You\'re allowed to feel bad about it.\"

Ranma considered that for a moment, then continued. \"It was so great when
we first moved in together. We were... building something together.
Building a future together. We even talked about marriage at first. Then we
decided to wait until after med school, since he was so busy and I was just
establishing the dojo.

\"We had so little time together, since it was three hours each way for me
from Nerima, and once he started his internship he spent long hours at the
hospital. Still, we seemed to find a way to make the moments count at
first. Lately, though, I feel fortunate if we say more than a few words to
each other.\"

Ranma finished, still feeling ashamed. It felt weak to be making these kind
of admissions. Yet he needed to say them out loud, force himself to admit
that it was bothering him.

They walked together for a while in silence while Akane seemed to think it
over. Finally, she spoke in the same quiet voice. \"You realize that,
timewise, it\'s not going to get better. Once he become a surgeon, he\'s
still going to spending long hours at the hospital.\"

Ranma nodded. \"And I\'ll always be coming here to teach. I have an
obligation to my family - the Tendo family - to teach at the Tendo Dojo,
and I do not take those obligations lightly. The couple of times I\'ve told
him about your father\'s offer to have us move into the house and suggested
maybe he look for a job at a hospital in Nerima, he gets evasive. I know
his family wants him to move back to Okinawa. I think he wants to, also.\"

Akane\'s voice sounded a little angry. \"That doesn\'t sound very fair of him.
He asked you to give up a lot, to make some radical changes to stay with
him. Yet he seems to be unwilling to make the same sacrifices to keep your
relationship going.\"

Ranma nodded savagely. \"Yes! That\'s what\'s really bothering me. Where the
hell does he come off thinking that I\'ll be doing everything I can to
accommodate him for the rest of my life? I can\'t even get him to... to...\"
He trailed off, feeling uncomfortable talking about what had happened that
morning.

He was spared making that decision by their arrival at Akane\'s apartment
building. They stopped at the front entrance. Akane turned to him. \"Would
you like to come up and have some tea? And we can talk some more if you
want.\"

Ranma smiled. \"I think I\'d like that, Akane.\" He felt very excited for a
reason he couldn\'t quite figure out.

Akane held his eyes a moment, then turned and unlocked the lobby door. They
entered and walked up the stairs in silence.

Akane let him into the apartment and gestured towards the small living
room. \"Make yourself comfortable, Ranma. I\'ll make the tea.\"

Ranma looked around, impressed. The apartment was wonderful; tastefully
decorated without being flashy. Akane clearly didn\'t have a lot of money to
spend on furnishings, but she still managed to find things that gave the
apartment a comfortable, beautiful look. He wandered around, examining some
of the posters on the wall. They were from shows at local theaters that
Akane had helped to stage. She had taken a real interest in producing shows
and even directing them, and was working very diligently towards achieving
those goals.

He looked around at the furnishings. There were a couple of chairs on
either side of a couch. He sat on the couch, which was clearly old but
still presentable: big, lush, and comfortable.

Akane offered him a cup of tea before sitting on the couch next to him. \"So
have you tried to talk this over with Kentaro?\"

Ranma sipped the tea while gathering his thoughts. \"Well, you know, he\'s
supposed to figure this stuff out himself. I mean, he\'s never had any
problems doing so in the past. It\'s one of the things I really liked about
him, that he\'s very perceptive and understanding. I get the feeling that he
knows this is a problem, but he doesn\'t know what to do about it, so he\'s
ignoring it for now. And that makes me feel... bad. Like it\'s almost
inevitable that we break up. If even Kentaro can\'t figure out a way to keep
us together, what hope do I have?\"

Akane frowned. \"I\'ve never known you to give up, Ranma.\"

\"Sure you have.\" Ranma frowned at the tea cup, then set it on the coffee
table. \"I searched for a cure to my - Herb problem - for a year and a half.
Eventually, I listened to the advice of everyone around me and started
moving on with my life. The fact that later I did find a cure is
irrelevant. There just came a point when I realized that I couldn\'t wait
all my life for something that probably wasn\'t going to happen.\" He turned
to look at Akane. \"I keep wondering if I\'ve reached that same point with
Kentaro.\"

Akane looked back at him thoughtfully. \"Don\'t give up, Ranma. People can
surprise you. Sometimes you can almost convince yourself that people are
terrible. Then they\'ll do and say things that show you how they really
feel. Sometimes they don\'t realize themselves how they feel. Or at least,
how strongly they feel about you. How much they need or want you.\"

Ranma frowned. \"You\'re saying that I need to give Kentaro time to remember
how much he loves me?\"

Akane looked almost surprised. \"Uh, yeah, that\'s what I mean. If I know
Kentaro well enough, he\'s thinking about this too. He\'ll try to find a way
to work through your problems.\"

That didn\'t make Ranma feel any better. \"What if he can\'t figure it out?
How long am I supposed to just sit and... and let him use me for....\" Ranma
choked off, determined not to make any kind of scene. The last thing in the
world he was going to do was cry over a man.

Akane set her tea on the table and leaned forward to hug him. \"Oh, Ranma,
things will work out. They always do, for you. It may take some time, but
you\'ll find happiness.\"

Ranma put his arm around her shoulders. \"Really? I will?\"

Akane lifted her head from where she had pressed it into his chest. She
smiled, her smile looking a little nervous. \"Yes. Trust me, Ranma. I\'ll
always be here to help you find happiness. I promise.\"

Ranma smiled. \"Thanks, Akane.\" He gulped, and found himself stammering, \"Y-
you\'re a good friend.\"

Akane simply looked at him, her smile fading, her eyes wide and looking
back and forth from one of his eyes to the other, her face not far from
his.

Ranma\'s heart was beating rapidly. Akane\'s body next to his felt very good.
Women *did* turn him on, and especially this woman. He wondered why he
hadn\'t been able to react this way to her a year ago. She was certainly
desirable. Warm and friendly and helpful and beautiful. A good friend. He
didn\'t know why kissing her last year had caused him to shudder. He really
didn\'t know.

To try and find out why, he lowered his face towards hers. She turned her
head to the side and their lips found each other.

They simply held their lips against each other, while Ranma tried to figure
out why he shouldn\'t like this. He moved his lips a little, and Akane
pressed against his lips with greater force. She opened her mouth, Ranma
opened his with hers, and their tongues met and started tasting each other.
The kissing grew more passionate, and Ranma found that he liked this. He
liked this very much.

They kissed and kissed, breathing through their noses, enjoying each other
as they never had before. Ranma used his free hand to stroke her hair, then
moved down to her neck. Akane shifted herself slightly so that there was a
little space between them, certainly enough for his hand to move farther
down. He moved it down her blouse, over her sternum, then held it in the
center of her chest. She turned slightly, and the curve of her breast
through the blouse filled his hand.

She let out something of a sound through their kissing. Ranma knew what
could cause a woman to make those sounds, and was interested in having her
make more of them. To see if he could do to someone else what had been done
poorly to him this morning. Ranma began to gently knead Akane\'s breast,
and she made another noise deep in her throat.

Ranma moved his hand back over to the center of her blouse. He began to
pick at the buttons, unfastening one and then another. He undid as many as
he could reach, then reached underneath it to touch her breast again, still
covered by the cloth of her bra.

Akane came to life then. She moved forward so that she was leaning into
their kiss, and took her hands from where they had been feeling the back of
his shirt. She pulled out her blouse from her skirt, undid the last button,
then reached behind her back and unsnapped her bra. Ranma lifted his arm to
allow her to roll her shoulders so that the blouse fell off. He used his
hands to help lift the blouse and bra away, then put one arm around her
bare shoulders while using the other hand cup one of her breasts. She
groaned again, louder, through their kiss. He gently rubbed her nipple with
his fingers and felt it become firm and erect. He knew a lot about how to
arouse a woman through her breasts. He used that knowledge effectively.

Akane, meanwhile, was unfastening his shirt. Soon she had it loose, and
Ranma lifted his hands off of her so that he could slip it over his
shoulders.

Their lips kept tenuous contact throughout this procedure. When his shirt
had joined hers on the floor, Akane grabbed Ranma\'s shoulders and pulled
him down as she lay back on the couch. His chest covered hers, her breasts
pressing into him. Her hands ran down his spine and back up his sides,
completing two wide circles that he found he liked very much.

He finally broke off the kiss and started kissing her neck. Her hands moved
until they were caressing his head, running her fingers through his hair.
She pushed slightly on the top of his head, and he moved down to begin
kissing her breasts. She moaned as his lips found her nipple and he began
suckling, being forceful but careful not to press his teeth into her.

Akane was breathing loudly. She moaned and writhed slightly. Ranma turned
his attention to her other breast, and this elicited another moan.

Finally Ranma lifted his head and kissed her again. She kissed him
passionately, fiercely, while at the same time her ever-active hands moved
down began unzipping his pants.

For the first time, something like rationality tried to intrude. Ranma felt
a slight concern, a vague feeling of guilt, that he shouldn\'t be doing
this. He was thick-headed with desire, he knew, and he really should take a
break and think this through. He felt so good, however. Kentaro had taken
Ranma to new heights of sexuality; then Kentaro had left before Ranma could
reach any kind of climax. Ranma deserved this, right now. Ranma needed to
have good sex, the kind that Kentaro had been unable or unwilling to
provide. It was all Kentaro\'s fault, anyway.

The rationalization, as thin as it was, was enough to temporarily banish
his doubts. As Akane finished unzipping and unbuttoning his pants, he
shifted himself so she could grab the waistband of his pants and boxer
shorts at once and move them a few inches down his waist.

Ranma broke off the kiss and reached down to unfasten Akane\'s skirt. He
pulled it off of her, with her help, then did the same with her panties. He
finished the job she had started with his pants and boxer shorts.

He looked at briefly at Akane\'s body. He\'d seen her naked before. Somehow,
though, it was different this time. Every inch of her body seemed to sing
to him, to the blood rushing in his ears. Her head was turned to the side
and her eyes were closed. Her mouth was open and she was still breathing
loudly. She spread her legs slightly and waited.

Ranma descended on Akane, kissing her and entering her all in one motion.
Akane gasped through the kiss. She broke it off and nuzzled his neck,
wrapping her arms around his back.

The stayed in that position for a few seconds. Then he began to move,
slowly. Akane began arching her back and moving her hips, the couch not
giving her a lot of room to maneuver. She began to make more noises in the
back of her throat, and turned it into moaning. The moaning was familiar to
Ranma, and he paid close attention to it. He knew he could climax himself
in a matter of seconds, but tried to control himself and move slowly,
trying to build Akane to her own orgasm.

She moaned again, louder. They continued, Ranma trying to thrust in long,
even strokes to control his own reaction and maximize Akane\'s stimulation.
Akane\'s groaning grew more and more tremulous, and came at a faster and
faster rate.

Ranma found that he was losing control. She felt too good, both for the
physical stimulation she was giving him and the knowledge that he was
making her feel good as well. He began thrusting harder, violently,
rapidly. The best moment in a man\'s orgasm, Ranma decided, was the moment
just before, when the orgasm was inevitable and the mind and body are at
last ready to give in to what they can no longer stop.

By a miracle of timing, Akane began crying out loudly as Ranma thrust for
all he was worth. He felt her whole body spasm underneath him as he
climaxed. Akane dug her fingernails into his back as they each continued
their orgasms. Ranma finished before Akane did, but did his best to keep
moving as Akane continued quivering underneath him.

Finally, she unclenched her fingers from where they were digging into him.
He stopped moving and rested on top of her. He\'d forgotten how worn out a
man felt after climaxing.

He moved a little and rested against his side on the couch. Akane made room
for him and wrapped her arms around him, still nuzzling his shoulder. Ranma
kissed the top of her head. Akane sighed dreamily, then lifted her head.
They kissed each other, a slow, languorous kiss that made Ranma feel almost
as good as the sex had.

They broke off the kiss. He looked into Akane\'s eyes. She smiled at him,
her eyes half-closed, looking very, very happy. Ranma was happy, too. When
it was good between two people, the aftermath was as good as the actual
event.

Ranma was feeling quite drained at this point. He turned a little more and
rested on his back. The couch was quite comfortable. Akane lay next to him,
turned so that one of her legs was flung over him, and her head rested on
his shoulder. He could feel her breast pressed against his side, and that
felt good too.

Ranma drifted slowly away from the world, the feeling of the couch and the
woman lying next to him making him feeling warm and happy. As he drifted
off to sleep, something told him that there was something wrong. He decided
to worry about it later. Right now, he felt too good.

***

Ranma woke slowly. He always woke slowly. Unless someone dumped a bucket of
water on him or something. That hadn\'t happened to him for a long time.

Yet something was prodding him, telling him that he should be worried about
something. He wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep, but the sense of
wrongness was insistent.

He allowed himself to achieve the next stage of consciousness, where he
still had his eyes closed and didn\'t move, but he could begin to let the
outside world intrude on him. He heard noises, someone moving around. He
tried to identify the sounds. It sounded like someone was making tea.
Kentaro usually didn\'t have time in the morning; he just rushed off to
school. He must have been feeling guilty about yesterday and was trying to
make it up to Ranma. Ranma felt good about that; at least it was a step in
the right direction.

The sense of wrongness still poked at him, however. He continued to gather
information. He was lying... he wasn\'t on the futon. He was lying on
something plush and soft. A blanket of some sort covered him. Since he
usually managed to throw the sheets off by morning - Ranma was a very
active sleeper - this was unusual. What had happened? Where had he fallen
asleep?

And why was he male? He hadn\'t fallen asleep as a man in... almost a year.
What possible reason would he have for....

Things began to fall into place. A wave of horror swept over him. He
didn\'t. He couldn\'t have. But his senses and memory were telling him
otherwise. With a sense of dread, he opened his eyes.

Akane was just putting on her coat. She picked up her briefcase and a
thermos, then looked over to see him with his eyes opened. Her face was
vaguely troubled; her voice was quiet and even. \"There\'s still some tea in
the pot, if you want some. Make yourself at home. You can wash your clothes
or use some of mine, if you want.\"

He gaped at her, too stunned to give her any kind of response.

She blanched a little. \"I, uh, I\'ll come see you after work at the dojo.\"
She seemed to be trying to find something more to say, then grimaced and
turned to the front door. She left.

As it had the previous morning, the sound of the door closing reverberated
through Ranma\'s mind. It was worse this time, though.

Slowly he sat up. A blanket fell off of him. Somehow, a vision came to him,
very strongly, one where Akane covered him with the blanket and smiled at
him lovingly. He shuddered. He tried to figure out why. It wasn\'t because
Akane repelled him. It was because he had just added a very big
complication to his life, and it wasn\'t going to be resolved until he had
hurt someone very badly.

The guilt and horror continued to wrack his mind. In an effort to control
it, he got up, went over to the kitchen, and helped himself to some of
Akane\'s tea. It was actually decent. He frowned at it, for some reason
disappointed that it didn\'t taste awful.

He shook himself and drained the cup, then poured himself another with the
last of the tea. He stared into the cup, and saw an image of Akane lying on
the couch, her head turned to the side and her breasts....

The cup shattered in Ranma\'s hand. He cursed as the hot tea dribbled into a
good-sized gash in his palm. He went over to the sink and ran cold water
over the gash. The water gushed out of the faucet onto his hand, spraying
into a mist that settled over him. The gash instantly became smaller, and
it took Ranma longer than usual to realize why.

Ranma sighed and went into Akane\'s bathroom to take care of the cut.
Fortunately, Akane had a good-sized first-aid kit, and Ranma was able to
dress the wound adequately. She examined it closely. Already, a bit of red
was soaking through the white gauze.

She made a fist, letting the pain from the cut fill her mind. It was no
less than she deserved at this point. It was probably the least of the
pains that were headed her way, too.

Ranma bowed her head and closed her eyes and tried to keep the image of
Akane lying on the couch from entering her mind. She wasn\'t entirely
successful.

***

Ranma watched as two of her intermediate students faced off against each
other. They approached each other warily. They were well aware of each
other\'s strengths and weaknesses, as Ranma had taught. They were trying to
use that against each other.

The man suddenly charged, feinting a kick and then trying a series of
punches. The woman ignored the feint and ducked under the punches. She
tried to sweep his feet, but the man jumped over the sweep. He tried to
backhand her head, but she rolled to the side, sprang up, and launched
herself at his side. He went down with a grunt. He lay on the mat, his hand
to his side, wincing slightly. The woman stood over him, grinning,
relaxing, reaching down to offer him a hand up.

Ranma growled and sprang into the ring. As fast as lightning, she grabbed
the woman and spun her around, one arm around her neck, the other pinning
the woman\'s arm painfully behind her back.

Ranma spoke forcefully. \"Did you hear me signal an end to the combat?\"

The woman had difficulty speaking. When she did, the pain and fear were
obvious. \"No, Sensei.\"

\"You relaxed your guard before the fight was over, before you were sure the
enemy had been defeated. If that had been a ruse, if your enemy were only
faking weakness, you could very easily be dead by now. You stay constantly
on guard at all times. You don\'t let anything through. If you slip, even
for one second, your enemy will find a way to use your vulnerability and
cause you pain.\"

Ranma tightened her grip a little. \"Understand?\"

The woman was clearly very frightened, but managed to answer calmly. \"Yes,
Sensei.\"

Ranma held her for another second, then relaxed her grip and caught the
woman as she began to collapse.

Ranma grimaced and looked around, at the carefully neutral expressions on
the face of her students. She sighed and turned the woman around so that
they were face to face. The woman had regained some of her poise and was
able to stand on her own.

Ranma bowed her head. \"I\'m sorry. That was unnecessarily harsh. You were
trying to be generous in victory, and that is an admirable quality.\" Ranma
raised her head and looked into the woman\'s eyes. \"But my point still
remains; you make sure the battle is over before relaxing your guard. Don\'t
forget that.\"

The woman nodded, looking less afraid. Ranma looked around and saw that her
students had relaxed, that the tension that had been building was lessened
a little. Ranma winced internally; she was not in the right mood to give
good lessons. She had a duty, however, to her students and to the Art.

She forced her mind to clear itself and finished the lesson. Fortunately,
it was the only class of the day. Her students left, and Ranma had the dojo
to herself.

She trained herself, pushing herself harder than she had in weeks. Kicks,
punches, vicious katas; she didn\'t let up for an hour. When she stopped,
her mind started thinking again, so she kept it up. Another hour, then
another, until finally she was completely exhausted. She fell to her hands
and knees on the mat, staring at the ground and wondering if she would ever
expunge the guilt from her soul.

She stayed that way for a few minutes until she heard someone open the dojo
door. She couldn\'t let herself be seen like this, so she sprang to her feet
and turned to the door, putting a calm, serene expression on her face.

It lasted all of a second. \"Kentaro!\"

He stood there, examining her closely. He looked guilty himself, yet at the
same time glad to see her. \"Hello, Ranma. Am I interrupting?\"

\"N-no.\" Ranma tried to think. \"Let\'s go to my office.\"

Kentaro smiled and nodded. \"Okay.\"

He followed her out of the dojo and up to her room. She sat at her desk
while Kentaro contented himself with sitting on a corner, turning so that
he faced her.

She tried to bring some order her mind. There was a lot going through it
right now. A question came to the forefront, a way to forestall dealing
with the rest. \"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work at the
hospital today.\"

Kentaro smiled softly. \"I traded shifts with someone. I\'ll be working
Sunday instead. I thought maybe you and I could go out and get some dinner
tonight.\"

Ranma grunted. \"So I get to see you now, but not Sunday anymore? Gee, I
wouldn\'t want you to make *too* big of a sacrifice, Kentaro.\"

The smile fled his face, to be replaced with surprise. \"I thought you
wanted to spend some time with me.\"

\"I want to spend *more* time with you, not trade one block of time for
another.\" She lowered her eyebrows, beginning to feel angry.

A look of guilt crossed his face. \"I know, Ranma. It\'s just... I\'m working
hard now so that later, after I graduate, we\'ll be more secure and have
more time.\"

\"Will we?\" She leaned forward a little. \"Or will you just be working hard
at your new job, trying to gain tenure? And then maybe you\'ll be trying to
set an example, trying to gain prestige and seniority, maybe even trying to
become chief of surgery or something.\"

Kentaro began to look irritated. \"You\'re not being fair, Ranma.\"

\"Oh, I don\'t know about that. Seems to me that you\'re making a choice here.
That your career will always be more important than me. Our relationship is
beginning to suffer because of it. And if you make a habit of it now,
you\'ll never stop.\"

Kentaro stood up and faced her. He looked angry now, although his voice was
still low and even. \"That is *not* how it\'s going to be Ranma. You *are*
important to me. You always will be.\"

\"All right, prove it. Don\'t go to the hospital on Sunday. Call in sick.
We\'ll spend the day together.\"

Kentaro stared at her for a second. \"I promised this guy I would take his
shift. Do you know how it would make me look if I called in sick when I was
supposed to be covering for him?\"

Ranma nodded. \"Yes. I do see. I also see that you place what people think
of you above being with me.\"

Kentaro closed his eyes. He seemed to be trying to control himself. \"You\'re
putting the worst possible interpretation on all of my words and actions,
Ranma. Please don\'t do that.\"

Ranma barked a laugh. \"Okay, give me a reason to believe in a better one.\"

Kentaro opened his eyes and blew out a breath. \"I\'ve been giving you one.
This is just transitory, just until I\'m out of med school. It\'ll get
better, I promise.\"

\"It *was* better, once.\" Ranma was trying to keep from shouting. \"You were
just as busy, but you found excuses to be with me. Now, you\'re finding
excuses to be away from me. Have I grown so repulsive in such a short
time?\"

\"No! Dammit, Ranma.\" He took two deep breaths. \"I just didn\'t have the
energy to keep it all up. I....\"

\"So I took third place to your school and your internship?\"

\"You have to think long term. Eventually, I\'ll be done with being a student
and an intern and I\'ll have more time.\"

Ranma shook her head. \"You haven\'t convinced me, Kentaro. You\'ll be a
doctor. Still having to work long hours. You\'ll still be tired. When will
you ever have the time and energy for me? Third place now, Kentaro, means
third place forever. I will not allow that.\"

\"Ranma, *please*.\" Kentaro sounded exasperated. \"Believe me, it won\'t be
this way forever.\"

Ranma finally lost control. \"I DON\'T WANT IT TO BE THIS WAY *NOW*!\" She
stared at him for a second, impaling him with her anger. \"I did not stay
with you so that I could be your accessory in life. I\'m important, Kentaro.
I\'m somebody. If you don\'t appreciate that, I\'ll find someone who will.\"

Kentaro shook his head. \"Don\'t threaten me, Ranma. I will not ever allow
you to bully me. I did not enjoy what you made me do yesterday morning.
Don\'t ever try that again. I do not respond to threats.\"

Ranma growled, furious. She spoke in a low voice. \"Who says I\'m making
threats, Kentaro?\"

\"Ranma, you\'re trying to force me....\" Kentaro\'s voice trailed off. His
eyes widened and his face went slack. \"What are you saying, Ranma?\"

Ranma felt her fury drain away. The anger was still there, but it was
tempered with guilt. And fear. \"You were always such a smart boy, Kentaro.
You figure it out.\"

\"Was... was Akane here last night?\"

Ranma nodded.

\"Did she... spend the night here?\"

Ranma shook her head.

\"Did...\" Kentaro was looking more and more afraid. \"Did you spend the night
at her place?\"

Ranma paused for a split second, then nodded.

Kentaro flinched. \"W-were you... did you... I mean....\" Kentaro seemed to
have trouble articulating. His voice was low, husky, tremulous. \"Were you a
woman when you were with Akane?\"

Ranma stared into his eyes. The words were the most difficult she had ever
spoken. \"Don\'t be silly. How could I have had sex with her if I was a
woman?\"

The world seemed to freeze, to stop existing except for a narrow tunnel
connecting Ranma\'s eyes to Kentaro\'s. His gaze seemed to pierce her heart.
She kept herself strong and steady, returning his gaze as calmly as she was
able to.

Kentaro seemed to deflate. He put his hands on the desk and leaned over it,
staring at the desktop. He began breathing audibly, drawing a deep breath
and exhaling forcibly.

Ranma gulped, then spoke softly. \"Here it is, Kentaro. Your excuse to break
up with me. To find someone who will let you put them below your own
ambition. It won\'t get any easier than this. You won\'t have to feel guilty,
you can blame it all on me.\"

Kentaro remained motionless, still staring down. Two minutes later, he
spoke in a very quiet voice. \"Is that what you want, Ranma?\"

Ranma was using every ounce of her willpower to keep from crying. She would
*not* cry over a man, not ever. She thought about Kentaro and what he\'d
done for her over the past few years, and knew that she didn\'t want to lose
him. But she was not going to allow the present situation to continue,
either. \"The question is, Kentaro, are you willing to give me enough of
yourself to make staying with you worthwhile?\"

At this, Kentaro raised his head. The look he shot her with was full of
accusation, hurt, and anger. Ranma couldn\'t keep herself from flinching,
but held his gaze. She was not backing down, not on this.

After staring hard at her for almost a minute, he spoke in a tight voice.
\"If I don\'t, you\'ll look elsewhere?\"

Ranma grimaced. \"I don\'t want to, Kentaro. I love you. But I need more from
you. Akane was able to give me what I needed last night. You could not. At
least, you *would* not.\"

The anger was growing in him. \"You\'re the one who cheated on me, and *I\'m*
supposed to feel guilty about it?\"

Ranma quailed inside, but kept her voice firm. \"You\'re supposed to
understand why it happened, and what needs to change to prevent it from
happening again.\"

His sarcasm was cruel and biting. \"And you\'re completely blameless?\"

Ranma shook with the force of her guilt. \"No. I... I had a moment of
weakness. I desperately wish it hadn\'t happened. I lost control, in a way
that reminded me of what I was like when I was a teenager. I... deeply
regret that.\" She drew a breath, then leaned forward to yell in his face.
\"But, damn you Kentaro, if you\'d only been a little more considerate
yesterday morning - hell, if you\'d been a little more considerate during
the past couple of months - I wouldn\'t have needed what Akane offered me so
much!\"

Kentaro straightened suddenly and turned towards the door. \"I am *not*
going to let you blame me for your sins. I\'m going home now. You choose
where you sleep tonight. I couldn\'t care less.\" He stalked out of the room.

\"Kentaro....\" Ranma clamped her mouth shut before she could turn the soft
whisper into a desperate shout. She fell into her chair, holding her head
in her hands. She absolutely would not cry. No matter how much her breath
shuddered, no matter how much her eyes burned, no matter how much her heart
shattered, no matter how afraid she was that the best thing that had ever
happened to her was walking down the hallway and out of the house and out
of her life, she was not going to cry.

Except that he wasn\'t walking down the hallway. She frowned slightly,
replaying the events of a minute ago. He\'d whirled, stalked out of the
room... and stopped. He was just standing out in the hallway where she
couldn\'t see him. All she had to do was call out to him, or better yet get
up and walk to the doorway, and they could forgive each other and go back
to the way things were.

But she didn\'t want to go back to the way it was before. So she stayed
still and silent, and prayed for strength.

After a minute more, she heard him move down the hall.

Heard *them* move down the hall.

With a start, she realized she was hearing two sets of footsteps reach the
stairs and begin to walk down them.

A horrible thought came to her. Ranma ran to the window, opened it, and
pulled herself onto the roof. She ran to where the front door was, only to
hear people enter the back yard. She ran along the rooftop, and was just in
time to see Kentaro and Akane enter the dojo.

Ranma blanched, and leapt from the house to the dojo. She hesitated,
wondering what to do. She decided she needed more information, and crept
slowly along the roof until she was above the door to the dojo, which
fortunately had been left slid open. She slowly crawled down the wall and
peeked through the top corner of the opening, trying to expose only enough
of herself so that she could see with one eye.

What she saw was Kentaro and Akane, standing opposite each other in the
center of the dojo, in positions where they could start fighting if they
wanted. Kentaro looked ready to fight, but Akane was standing calmly, her
hands clasped in front of her.

Kentaro was the first to break the silence. \"Are you happy now, Akane?\"

Akane\'s lifted her eyebrows briefly. \"Do I *look* happy?\"

Kentaro\'s voice was still tight, and full of anger. \"You look rather like
you\'ve just won a fight, and are trying not to appear smug.\"

Akane snorted. \"Ranma is not something you win in a fight, Kentaro.\"

\"You know what I mean.\"

Akane shook her head. \"Believe what you want. I did not plan any of it to
happen. I came here yesterday to do my duty to my father. Ranma was
obviously in pain, and I was there to talk to him and try to help him. What
happened... was not what I intended. Not at all.\"

Kentaro clenched his jaw, then relaxed it. \"But it did happen. And I don\'t
believe that neither one of you could have stopped yourselves if you had
really wanted to.\"

Akane seemed to think about this, and nodded. \"Very true. There was a part
of each of us that wanted it to happen. Ranma needed that kind of affection
right at that moment. He wasn\'t in it for the physical stuff - well, not
*entirely* for the physical stuff. He wanted to make me feel good. *That*
was as important to him as anything else. He wanted to be a part of
something where two people made each other happy.\"

Kentaro raised an eyebrow. \"And you\'re saying she couldn\'t do that with
me?\"

Akane raised an eyebrow right back at him. \"You strike me as a man with the
ability to be honest with himself. What do *you* think?\"

Kentaro didn\'t answer right away. His face was still stone, but somehow his
anger was less palpable. Finally, he spoke again. \"And what about you,
Akane? Why did you want it to happen?\"

It was Akane\'s turn to take her time answering. Finally, she turned
slightly and began walking around Kentaro in a big circle, staring at him
all the while.

\"A few years ago, I made a decision. I told Ranma that I wanted to end our
engagement, even though it was clear that he - I\'m sorry, *she* - still
wanted me. I couldn\'t return those feelings, not when it seemed like she
was going to be female forever. It wasn\'t hard for me to fall out of love
with Ranma, especially since I\'d never admitted to being *in* love with her
in the first place.

\"Then I began dating other men. For some reason, none of them could satisfy
me. It took me a long time to figure why. I was comparing them all to
Ranma. And they were all failing the comparison.

\"When Ranma\'s mother found out her problems and forced the marriage issue,
I found myself becoming excited. Why settle for less than Ranma when I
could have Ranma again? One of the happiest days of my life, Kentaro, was
when Nabiki told us that she thought she had found a way to cure Ranma. I
felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Ranma would be
a man again, and we could pick up our relationship from where it had left
off, except this time there would be no holding back between us. No more
childish pretenses, or denial. Just *us*, together, loving, happy.\"

Akane paused to take a breath. \"So you can imagine my disappointment when I
discovered that Ranma had found someone else to fall in love with. I
treated you horribly, because you were standing in the way of my happiness,
as I saw it. The truth, as I came to discover, was that I had planted the
seeds for my own unhappiness when I ended my engagement to Ranma. I still
think it was the right decision at the time, but I had to accept the
consequences of the decision. I couldn\'t have my cake and eat it, too.
Ranma was not going to turn on and off her affection for me at my
convenience.

\"When Ranma was hurting last night, and needed a friend, I was glad to be
there for her. But it went just a little too far. I\'m not trying to make
excuses. A totally rational analysis would have us not doing what we did
last night. However, sometimes our rationality can be overwhelmed by our
feelings, especially during times of stress.

\"When I woke up this morning, I was terribly confused. I know I had done
something wrong, very wrong. Yet, something inside of me was enjoying
waking up next to Ranma. A part of myself I hadn\'t consciously
acknowledged was *still* hung up over Ranma. And that part of me wanted me
to exploit the situation, try to get Ranma for myself. It was kinda scary
how tempting that thought was.\"

Akane continued walking around the circle until she was directly in front
of Kentaro again. She stopped there, and turned to face him fully.
\"Kentaro, you should have seen the look on Ranma\'s face this morning. It
was a look of horror and guilt. There was none of the affection I\'d seen
last night. Rather, Ranma was feeling... pain.

\"That got to me, Kentaro, in a way you wouldn\'t believe. All of my
temptations shriveled. I hadn\'t really done anything good for Ranma.
Instead, I was hurting her. What part of me saw as a new beginning, Ranma
saw as a source of guilt and remorse.

\"I thought about it all day at work. I didn\'t have Ranma\'s heart, or
affection. Just... what was it she said? A moment of weakness? That\'s all
it was to her.\"

Tears were coming from Akane\'s eyes, falling down her cheek. Yet she
continued to stand straight, stare into Kentaro\'s eyes, and speak in a
firm, even voice. \"Ranma said something to you during your argument.
Something very important, almost in passing. Do you know what it was?\"

Kentaro was clearly moved by Akane\'s words so far. His anger was gone, to
be replaced by a touch of sadness. He spoke softly, knowingly. \"She told me
she loved me.\"

Akane nodded. \"Ranma is like a force of nature. Quick, strong, impetuous,
hard to hold on to. Ranma was in love with me once. I was too immature to
realize how precious that was. I let it die and now I can\'t have it back.
You have it, Kentaro. You have her love, one of the rarest and strongest
things in the world. And you\'re letting it slip away. Not intentionally.
Not maliciously. But inexorably. Soon, if things continue the way they are,
Ranma will stop loving you, and you\'ll be left with an emptiness that no
one can ever fill quite as well. And you\'ll spend years wondering how you
could have lost it, wishing you could have it back, knowing that you can\'t,
hating yourself because of it.\"

For several minutes, Kentaro and Akane stared at each other. Akane was
still crying but not sobbing. Kentaro was staring at her, with an
expression that seemed to be a mixture of shock, sadness, and revelation.

Ranma wondered what she should be feeling. She couldn\'t; the force of the
emotion coming from the two people in the dojo was overwhelming her. She
could only watch, and wonder how it was that she could cause two such
wonderful people so much pain.

Kentaro finally managed to speak. \"I look at you, and I can\'t get the image
of Ranma... *being* with you out of my mind. How can I forgive that? How
can I trust her ever again?\"

Akane walked quickly up to Kentaro. She reached up and slapped him quite
hard.

Kentaro staggered back a step, putting his hand to his cheek, staring at
Akane in shock.

Akane took another step forward and pulled her hand back to slap him again.
Kentaro reached up and blocked it with his forearm, glaring at her.

Akane grunted. \"Very good. Something happened to cause you pain. The next
time it threatened to happen again, you stopped it.\"

Kentaro blinked at her and shook his head slightly. \"Your point being?\"

\"My point being that you didn\'t see Ranma\'s face this morning. The hurt was
very, very real. I went home at lunch to see if Ranma was still there.
She\'d gone, but she\'d left behind a broken tea cup and taken some bandages
out of the first aid kit. And when I came to see her after work at the
dojo, I heard her arguing with the person she loved. I heard the suffering
in her voice, and the guilt. Her... weakness... caused her pain on levels I
don\'t think you fully appreciate, Kentaro. She will not make that same
mistake again. Nor, for that matter, will I.\"

Kentaro rubbed his cheek, staring thoughtfully at Akane.

Akane wiped her face dry. \"This was a very unfortunate situation. We all
made mistakes. But something had to give, Kentaro. Ranma is not going to
live the way you want her to live. She is not going to be tied down. She
will always be free, bright, and forceful, and you won\'t ever be able to
contain her. I don\'t think you\'d want to, either. You have an opportunity
here. You\'ve been given a warning - a very strong warning - that Ranma is
slipping away. She still loves you, however. She still wants you. Be
thankful that the situation didn\'t get any worse between you, that she
didn\'t fall out of love with you.\"

Akane held up a fist and shook it in front of Kentaro. \"But you\'d better
make the best of this opportunity, or so help me I will beat you to a
bloody pulp. Don\'t think I can\'t do it, either.\"

Kentaro blew out a breath that was not quite a laugh. \"You\'re Ranma\'s
guardian angel?\"

Akane lowered her fist. \"I want what\'s best for Ranma. I really do. I
realized this morning that it wasn\'t me. I\'m not the one for Ranma, not any
more. You are. I came here today to try and help Ranma get back together
with you, because I knew that\'s what she wanted.\"

Kentaro examined her closely. \"And what of you, Akane? What pain have we
caused you?\"

Akane grimaced and lowered her eyes. \"I... wish Ranma and I hadn\'t given in
to temptation. I\'d thought I was completely over her. I found out there
was a part of me still yearning for Ranma. But seeing her face this
morning, staring at me in horror... that\'s not what I want. It... helped
put things in perspective for me. Ranma has her life, her love. She\'s my
sister and my friend, and I\'m glad for both of those things. I, I have to
stop measuring people to a fantasy, to a creation of my mind that no human
could possibly live up to. This, this was good for me. It helped clear my
mind of all remaining hangups over Ranma. I\'ll be better for it, in the
long run.\"

Kentaro put a hand on her shoulder. \"But in the short term, it hurts a lot,
doesn\'t it?\"

Tears came from Akane\'s eyes again. She began sniffling. And then she was
clinging to Kentaro and sobbing. Long, hard sobs that ripped through Ranma
with the force of bullets. Kentaro hugged Akane and murmured words Ranma
couldn\'t make out.

Akane cried for a long time, and Ranma was surprised to see tears coming
from Kentaro\'s eyes as well. Finally, Akane pushed herself away and tried a
shaky bow. \"I\'m sorry, Kentaro, I\'m so sorry, I didn\'t mean it, I didn\'t
want to come between you and Ranma, I was just so damn selfish....\"

Kentaro put his hand under her chin and gently forced her to stand straight
again. \"Don\'t, Akane. If... if I hadn\'t allowed this situation to develop,
none of it would ever have happened. Please, I beg of you, forgive me and
let us speak no more of blame. I want you and me and Ranma to still be
friends. I think we still can be. If you\'ll let us.\"

Akane covered her eyes with one hand. \"I want to be friends, too, but it\'s
going to be so hard for a while. I... I think I\'ll need to stay away from
Ranma for just a little while, until I\'ve regained my peace and balance.\"
She lifted her hand away and looked up at Kentaro with watery eyes.
\"Please, tell Ranma I\'m sorry, that I never meant to cause her pain. Please
ask her to forgive me.\"

The words were too much for Ranma. She needed to say something, to tell
Akane that it wasn\'t her fault. Ranma had no idea what to say, however, and
began to panic. While her mind was busy spinning uselessly, she felt her
hands lose their grip. With a cry, she fell to the ground, hitting her head
quite hard on the porch. She grunted in pain and rubbed her head while
sitting up and wincing. This was not the best entrance she\'d ever made.

She looked over to see Akane and Kentaro staring at her incredulously.
Ranma flushed, embarrassed. She opened her mouth and said the first thing
that came to her mind. \"I was just practicing on the roof. I didn\'t hear a
word you said.\" She immediately flinched, regretting the obvious lie as
soon as she\'d said it.

Akane covered her mouth with her hand. She seemed to be breathing into it
quite heavily, bending over slightly, convulsing. Ranma looked at her in
alarm, only to see a smile appear on Kentaro\'s face. He chuckled, and that
was enough to send Akane into gales of laughter. She clutched at Kentaro,
laughing, and he began to laugh just as hard.

Ranma stared at them, flabbergasted, which only seemed to cause them to
laugh harder. Akane began beating on Kentaro\'s chest, laughing
hysterically. Kentaro grunted at first, but it seemed to only heighten his
own amusement.

Ranma finally smiled at them. She watched them calm themselves down, both
of them wiping tears of an entirely different nature from their eyes.

Kentaro shook his head. \"Damn, is everyone eavesdropping on my
conversations today?\"

Ranma laughed. \"Oh, and you\'ve never eavesdropped before, Kentaro?\"

He flushed. \"Good point.\" He turned to Akane. \"Between us, Akane, can we
say that there are no hard feelings?\"

Akane smiled at him. \"I can accept that. I\'d sure like to put this whole
thing behind me.\"

She turned to face Ranma. The smile faded into an unsure, slightly fearful
expression. She walked slowly up to Ranma. Ranma felt her presence like a
tingling on her skin. She also felt Kentaro\'s gaze like a lance of fire in
her heart.

Akane stopped about a meter away. They stared at each other for a while.

Ranma somehow rediscovered the ability to form words. \"Akane, I\'m sorry.
The last thing in the world I wanted to do was hurt you.\"

Akane managed a weak smile. \"That\'s supposed to be my line, Ranma.\"

Ranma sighed. \"It\'s a hell of a mess. I... I wish I\'d been thinking
better.\"

Akane nodded. \"We both lost our rationality somewhere along the way.\" She
paused to draw a breath. \"I want to be your friend, Ranma. I want to be
there for you when you have a problem.\"

Ranma narrowed her eyes slightly. \"Not like last night, though.\"

Akane shook her head violently. \"Never. Never again like last night.\"

Ranma relaxed her gaze and smiled. \"I... like you, Akane. Maybe even love
you, as a good friend and... and sister. Take whatever time you need, but
please don\'t stay away forever. I\'d hate to think that my thoughtlessness
cost us our friendship.\"

Akane shook her head, seeming sad and weary. \"I think it\'s more my fault,
but Kentaro\'s got it right. Let\'s not talk about who\'s to blame. I... maybe
don\'t need to stay away at all. Just so long as you don\'t hate me.\"

Ranma blinked. \"Hate you? Akane! I could never, ever hate you. Please
believe me.\"

They fell into each other\'s arms. Ranma felt that Akane was too tired and
drained to cry anymore; she just hugged Ranma fiercely. Ranma hugged her
back, trying to give Akane whatever strength she had left.

After a moment, they separated. Akane gave Ranma one last, brave smile.
Ranma smiled back, and for a moment she thought back to the days before
Herb, when Akane was her fiancee, and they were slowly, slowly building
something together. For a fleeting moment, while staring into Akane\'s eyes,
Ranma caught a glimpse of what life would have been like if it hadn\'t been
for the chisuiton.

Life would have been pretty good.

Akane finally lowered her eyes and bowed to Ranma. Ranma bowed back. Then
Akane turned and left the dojo. Ranma looked after her, and smiled.

After a while, Ranma gathered the last of her courage and turned to face
Kentaro.

He was looking closely at her, his expression thoughtful.

Ranma decided she was getting tired of long, strained silences. \"For what
it\'s worth, I\'m sorry.\"

Kentaro only nodded, his thoughtful expression not changing.

Ranma made an annoyed sound. \"Tell me what you\'re thinking before I beat it
out of you.\"

Kentaro raised an eyebrow. \"Do you mean that?\"

\"No.\" Ranma rubbed one of her eyebrows for a second. \"Of course not. I\'m
just very tired, and not thinking good. I tend to say and do stupid things
when I\'m this way.\"

\"So I\'ve noticed.\"

Ranma grimaced. \"Okay, what do I have to do to get you to talk to me?\"

Kentaro looked down and slowly shook his head. \"I\'m trying to figure it
out. Trying to figure out how I feel about this. About you. You hurt me
terribly, betrayed my trust. It\'ll take time, time to rebuild that trust.

\"To your credit, you didn\'t try to hide it from me. You were quite frank
about what had happened, and why it had happened. I didn\'t think the cause
was sufficient, and was quite prepared to live without you.

\"Then Akane slapped some sense into me.\" He rubbed his cheek, which was
still slightly red. \"She had every reason to try and exacerbate the
situation, try to drive a wedge between us. Yet she spoke very well on your
behalf. Mostly, she made me look beyond the here and now.

\"Ranma, I think my problem is that my focus has been too narrow. I led
myself to believe that school was all that mattered, that if I could get my
degree and finish my internship, that everything else would automatically
fall into place. It seemed so logical to me. I couldn\'t understand why you
couldn\'t follow the same logic.\"

Kentaro looked at his feet. \"What\'s that verse? I think it\'s something
like, \'What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his
soul.\'\" He looked up at her again. \"I think Akane helped me realize, Ranma,
that you are my soul.\"

Ranma actually gasped a little at that. Her chest tightened, too. The words
were good to hear, especially if they meant what she thought they meant.

Kentaro smiled at her reaction. \"You\'re important to me, Ranma, in the same
way that breathing is important to me. In everything I do, I want us to be
happy. I... I guess I need to work out exactly what \'happy\' means. It
doesn\'t mean financially secure or socially well-respected. It might mean
that to some people, but it doesn\'t mean that to *you*. And, if I think
about it, it doesn\'t mean that to me, either. Happiness, as Akane pointed
out, is being with the one you love and making *them* happy. I haven\'t been
doing that. You tried, yesterday morning. I... enjoyed it, more than I
admitted. But I was so... narrowly focused on what I thought was important,
I couldn\'t admit even to myself that I liked it, that I liked being with
you.\"

Kentaro lowered his eyes again. \"I\'m ashamed. You had every right to be
angry with me, to feel like I was betraying you. I had not lived up to my
end of our relationship.\" He chuckled humorlessly and looked at her again.
\"Two wrongs don\'t make a right, but it\'s sure a good place to find
forgiveness. Can we just say that we\'re even and begin again?\"

Ranma drew several deep breaths and nodded. \"That sounds like the best we
can do. I, uh, need to know what you intend to do differently, though.\"

Kentaro nodded himself. \"Fair enough.\" He put his finger alongside his
nose, a sign, Ranma knew, that meant he was working hard to organize his
thoughts. \"Okay. More energy in our relationship. Less study time spent at
school. Heck, if my grades suffer a little bit, it\'s not the end of the
world. Um, let\'s see, spending less time in the hospital, no more spending
extra hours there trying to impress everyone.\"

Ranma frowned slightly. \"You won\'t resent me for forcing you into these
concessions? You won\'t complain to your friends that I\'m holding you back?
No looking back and saying, \'If only I hadn\'t been living with Ranma, I
might have done better?\'\"

Kentaro smiled. \"None of that. I now realize that, first and foremost, you
are the whole world to me. It all begins and ends with you. I can live
without being the world\'s best doctor. I can live without graduating it the
top five percent of my class. But I can\'t live without my soul.\"

Ranma let out a forceful breath and sprang at Kentaro. She grabbed him
around the chest. He fell over under the force of her impact, and she fell
on top of him, still hugging him fiercely.

Ranma gulped, fighting to control her voice. \"Don\'t give up too much,
Kentaro. Go to the hospital on Sunday, work your shift. Study when you need
to study. I don\'t want a slave that bows to my every whim. Find the right
balance. I promise to understand that you won\'t be able to be with me all
the time. I... I promise not to betray you again. You\'re the only one I
want to be with. Now and always, you and only you.\"

Kentaro hugged her back. \"Oh, Ranma....\"

Ranma sighed, relief and happiness mixing together. She lifted her head and
gave Kentaro a quick kiss. She looked into his eyes for a moment, then bent
down and gave him a slower kiss. Kentaro reached up and began stroking her
hair, at the same time parting his lips. Ranma was only too willing to
cooperate.

The kiss grew more wet and passionate, until Ranma felt like she was trying
to swallow Kentaro whole. She came up for air, looking once more into his
eyes. \"Ken-chan?\"

\"Yes, Ranma-chan?\"

\"Are you as turned on as I am?\"

Kentaro snorted. \"That\'s hard to say. I\'m debating whether or not I have
the patience to wait until we get back home.\"

Ranma chuckled. \"Then the answer is no.\"

Kentaro sounded surprised. \"What do you mean?\"

\"You\'re not as turned on as I am. I\'m not even going to wait until we get
back to the house.\" She unclasped her hands from behind his back and
started unbuttoning his shirt.

\"Ranma!\" Kentaro looked around the dojo. \"What if Soun were to come in, or
one of your students?\"

\"Then they\'d get an eyeful, wouldn\'t they?\" Ranma decided that the buttons
were too slow, and ripped off his shirt. \"Better hurry and get started if
you want to minimize that risk.\"

Kentaro looked to be on verge of protesting; then he laughed and reached
for her.

There lips met and they began kissing again, ferociously. Ranma grunted, a
primal sound that Kentaro soon answered. He grabbed her gi. The material
was too strong to simply rip off, so she cooperated while he undid the belt
and tore the gi off her as best he could. In fact, he managed to cause her
bandaged hand to begin throbbing in pain again, but Ranma decided she
didn\'t mind.

Her breasts were dangling above Kentaro, and he moved his head down to one
and began greedily suckling in. Ranma gasped and sat up. He sat up with
her, and she grabbed his head and pushed it into her breast. He took as
much of her breast into his mouth as he was able, lightly biting down while
his tongue moved over her nipple. Ranma gasped again, louder, a combination
of pleasure and pain.

His hands were fumbling with her boxer shorts, and she lifted one leg and
then the other as he took them off her. Then he lift his mouth from her
breast and began sliding underneath her. His tongue soon began caressing
her cleft, and he parted it, licking her clitoris. Ranma cried out again.
He\'d never done it this way. She began quivering, letting out soft groans
at the end of each breath. She realized she was very close to having an
orgasm, which surprised her. It usually took longer than this to get her
this aroused. As a matter of fact, she had never been this aroused, not
even yesterday.

She lifted herself off of him, then moved down to take off his pants. She
was careful this time, in a hurry but trying not to be too rough; she knew
how sensitive he would be. She drew his pants and underwear down to his
ankles, and decided that was good enough. She shifted her position and
lowered herself onto him, feeling him enter, letting out a sigh when she
felt him inside.

She began moving her hips, moving herself around him, setting her own pace.
She was positioned so that she was more or less sitting upright, and
Kentaro reached up to grab her breasts and roughly squeeze them, moving
them around in circles. This felt good, and she found herself sliding her
hips faster and faster. She began crying out, loudly, not caring if anyone
heard, lost in the sensations she was feeling, the loud cries somehow
making it feel better.

And it was building, higher and higher, and she felt one quaver, then
another, and it was so good, it was Kentaro and she loved having sex with
him, but more importantly she simply loved him, and he loved her back, and
she exploded.

The orgasm rocked her body. The waves of pleasure went on and on, the
intensity causing her mind to go blank as she experienced the sensation to
its fullest. She realized she was practically screaming in beat with the
waves as they coursed through her, but it didn\'t matter. Just feeling this
way with Kentaro was all that mattered at this particular moment.

When she became aware again, she was lying next to Kentaro on the mat, one
of her arms and legs draped over him. She looked at him, trying to clear
her mind. \"I\'m sorry, did... did you...?\"

Kentaro chuckled. \"Not to worry, Ranma. Only a eunuch would not have...
responded to you just now.\"

Ranma smiled and her breath caught. He\'d nearly gotten away from her.
They\'d almost screwed this up, let this relationship get away from them.
Now, however, they\'d worked together - with Akane\'s help - and overcome a
major problem. Their relationship, which had almost flown apart at the
seams, had come back together, stronger than before. She loved him, with an
intensity that was almost as frightening as it was wonderful. For the very
first time, she began to think that maybe everything that had happened to
her since she\'d been cursed was a good thing. It had led her to this man,
to this love, and she could not have hoped for anything better in her life.

Kentaro was smiling widely, lovingly. \"You\'re crying.\"

Ranma shook her head. \"No, I\'m not.\"

Kentaro reached over and touched her cheek with his forefinger. He drew it
back and showed her that it was wet. \"What do you call this, then?\"

She studied his finger closely. \"A figment of your imagination.\"

He gently laughed. The sound of his laughter and the love on his face
caused her to reach over and hug him tightly and press her face into body.
She felt something hot and wet pass from her eyes to his chest, and decided
that, sometimes, crying over a man wasn\'t so bad.

Sometimes, it was actually pretty wonderful.