Depravity

A/N: TOTALLY upset over losing all the reviews from Chapter 4 when AFF crashed. Ah well. I’ll go whip out my frustrations for a while…enjoy this next chapter!!

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It was late when Shuichi finally returned home for the night. He held a grocery bag filled with Strawberry Pocky, whipped cream and cigarettes in one hand, and his backpack in the other. He was tired and dark thoughts were swirling through his mind. It had been happening to him on and off since they finished their pony play the other night, but luckily the insistence of the thoughts was steadily diminishing.

Toeing off his shoes, he went to slip on a pair of house slippers, but quickly changed his mind when his spotted his fuzzy Kumaguro slippers. Eiri must have put them out for him. He wondered if his lover was home. He knew that Eiri was supposed to have had an appointment that would take him late into the night with his publisher, but there was a warm light flooding the hallway by the bedroom, and he could hear the faint tap tap tap of a laptop in use.

The slippers muffled the fall of his feet as Shuichi made his way to the office. There sat his lover, engrossed in his work. A cigarette dangled from his mouth and his brow was furrowed in concentration. Shuichi loved the way Eiri looked when he was working. He imagined he could see Eiri’s thought process; a perfect word here, a missing comma there… He was truly a master of his art, and Shuichi was slightly jealous of the way the words seemed to flow from his mate almost flawlessly.

Shuichi rarely was able to write with such abandon. When he did, the words were normally crap, truly deserving of Eiri’s comments, “No talent. Zero.” How someone as brilliant and perfect as Eiri could ever come to care for him, let alone love him, was beyond his comprehension. He knew Eiri loved him. He’d told him more than once, and each time he said it, his eyes backed up the emotion. He didn’t deserve to be loved by someone so strong and special and ethereal. Images of the last few days started to flirt before his eyes, and he felt shame and embarrassment well up in him. Just like this past weekend…

Shuichi recognized the feelings he was experiencing for what they were, and knew he was being irrational. Luckily, there was more to Depravity Resort than just sexual fun. They also had discussion groups and classes geared towards the BDSM lifestyle. It wasn’t all whips, chains, cockrings, tails and fucking. Eiri had insisted they attend at least one meeting each time they went. The last meeting was on sub-drop. Instantly, Shuichi knew what he needed to do. A soft keening noise escaped him as he made his way slowly to his lover. Eiri looked up at the noise, saw the signs of pain in his boy’s face once again, and opened his arms in comfort, welcome and love. Friday night flashed in his mind.

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Shuichi was still in his pony gear, minus the tail, with Eiri’s arms wrapped around him. His body shook and soft sorrowful moans came unbidden to his lips as his body pressed back into Eiri’s chest. The arms around him tightened for a moment before releasing him, and he heard words whispered in his ear, “Let’s get you undressed.”

Shuichi barely recognized Eiri’s voice as it swirled around him. All he knew was exhaustion. His legs hurt, and his back was sore. His eyes had trouble focusing on anything, and his mind was in torment.

With one arm still wrapped around his lover’s smaller frame, Eiri released the harness and bit from Shuichi’s mouth and head. As soon as it came free, he dropped it to the side and stood them both up. Shuichi swayed and didn’t seem to have the energy to stand on his own. Turning the smaller boy around to face him, Eiri continued to support the small body as he moved to unbuckle the belts crisscrossing his chest and back. Once they were removed and dropped on top of the harness and bit, Eiri lifted his lover gently and walked him to the bedroom. His cock still hung limp outside his clothes as he maneuvered his boy onto the bed, so once Shuichi was settled, he tucked himself back in and refastened his pants.

Shuichi drifted in and out of the moment, but the feeling of Eiri’s hands on his legs brought reality crashing back to him. Eiri was unlacing his boots and removing them slowly, almost reverently. Why the novelist would waste time doing something like this was beyond his comprehension. He didn’t deserve such simple touches, such caring attention and love. And yet, at the same time, he shook with fear at the thought that Eiri would agree with him and walk away.

The boots were pulled from Shuichi’s body carefully, and his swollen feet were massaged. “Shuichi, are you okay?”

“Don’t touch me,” he choked out with a strangled voice, but at the same time he reached out and clutched at Eiri’s shirt, pulling them closer together.

Eiri understood what was going on in his sub’s mind, and instead of responding to the conflicting messages he was being sent, he lifted his lover once more and carried him to the bathroom.

The outside wall of the bathroom had a sunken tub against it, with squared corners and white and green tiles. Shuichi was set down on the corner of the tub, his legs dangling over the edge.

Eiri left one hand on Shuichi’s back to support him, while the other turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. When he was satisfied, he stopped up the tub and let the water fill the basin.

Adding a few drops of lavender bath essence, Eiri lowered Shuichi into the steaming water to soak. He sat close by, and began to coo words of encouragement and love.

Eiri knew his sub was deep in the grasp of sub-drop. Every sub experience this mental state at some point in time, and this was Shuichi’s first experience with it. Sub-drop manifested itself in every man or woman in a different way. Some experienced it hours after a scene, while others felt it the moment a scene ended. For some, it lasted days, while other’s felt it for moments. It was too soon to know if Shuichi would become too effected to continue their scening for the weekend, so Eiri decided to just focus on aftercare for now and watch how things progressed.

Shuichi remained strangely silent as Eiri bathed him. He ran a washcloth over the singer’s skin, being extra careful around the mark the belts had left behind. Applying more pressure to his back, Eiri almost missed the small noises his koi made. But one look confirmed that tears had escaped Shuichi’s eyes and were creating tracks down his face.

Eiri dried his hands and grabbed a tissue. With a tenderness Shuichi had never before experienced, Eiri dried his tears and placed a kiss on the lid of each eye. Neither had said a word for the past twenty minutes, but Shuichi was beginning to feel a little more centered.

“Why?”

Eiri didn’t understand the question. Why did they scene? Why was he in the bath tub? Why did Eiri dry his tears? There were a million answers to his question, but only one would suffice.

“Because I love you, baka.”

With a slight return to normalcy, Shuichi let out a little giggle and a tiny smile.

“Ah, there you are. You’ve been gone for a long time. Baka, are you okay?”

Shuichi nodded yes, followed by a nod no, and looked at Eiri in confusion. “Sorry. I don’t know. I feel weird.”

“That’s ok. Let’s get you dried off and climb into bed. Sound good?”

“Hai.” Eiri pulled him from the water and wrapped an oversized fluffy towel around his body. Drying him thoroughly, he ran the towel over his boy’s head and absorbed most of the water from his hair. Eiri gave him some privacy so he could relieve himself, and before Shuichi could move to walk to the bedroom, he was lifted up and carried to their safe haven.

They had decided when they started with the BDSM lifestyle to keep one room in their house free of all scening. That room was their bedroom, and would remain a place for them to escape if they needed to. Regular love-making wouldn’t become associated with their scening, and Shuichi never appreciated their decision more than he did tonight.

He was lowered to their bed, and watched as Eiri stripped himself of his clothes. The collar and wrist strap came off first, followed by the boots. Realizing he was being watched, Eiri slowed down and decided to give his lover a little show. He tantalizing reached for the hem of his mesh shirt and began to lift it slowly off his body. When he reached his nipples, he paused and locked eyes with the pink haired singer. Shuichi smiled shyly and stared as Eiri pulled the shirt higher, fully revealing his nipples and finally removing the garment from his body. All that was left were the PVC pants.

As Eiri reached to release the pants from his body, Shuichi knelt on the bed and reached for his lover’s waist. Eiri moved closer to him and let the small fingers play along the top of his clothes, dipping under to tease the sensitive skin. The pants were low slung, and Shuichi’s fingers grazed over the tufts of golden hair before dipping deeper. He felt the velvety skin hidden from view, and teased it with a smile on his face.

Finally, the pants were unzipped and unbuttoned. They clung tight to Eiri’s body, and Shuichi had to pull hard to get them down. Leaning over the bed in a far too precarious manner, Eiri barely had enough time to move when Shuichi started to fall. But he did react – he grabbed his lover’s lithe body and tugged him back to the bed quickly, laughing gently at how clumsy the singer could be.

“Gomen,” Shuichi whispered, his eyes welling with tears again. Eiri saw this, finished removing his clothes quickly and crawled into bed. He pulled the small frame against his own and held Shuichi tight.

Reaching to the side of the bed, Eiri pulled out a small cold bottle of fruit juice. It was Shuichi’s favorite flavor, mango kiwi, and he handed it to his love. Shuichi gratefully accepted the juice and drank it down.

“Tell me what’s going on, Shu-chan.”

“I don’t know,” Shuichi replied. “I don’t feel right. I’m sad, and happy and angry and freaked out. How come?”

“Mmmm,” Eiri pulled Shuichi up a little and placed kisses on his cheek. “Its okay Shu-chan. Its sub-drop. It will pass.”

Shuichi’s mouth dropped in surprise. Of course he remembered the session they attended on sub-drop at Depravity Resort. It had been geared towards Dom and sub alike, and touched on the absolute necessity of aftercare. But instead of this memory comforting him, it caused him greater distress.

Was Eiri treating him so nicely just because it was part of what you were supposed to do if you were a good Dom? Did he really mean any of the loving touches and kisses? It was so out of character for Eiri, and Shuichi began to feel a little betrayed.

Looking into the singer’s violet eyes, Eiri watched them darken and swirl with anger and despair. Luckily, he fully understood what was going on in his sub’s mind, and spoke to allay his doubts.

“Yes, aftercare like this is what I’m supposed to do when we scene. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t mean it. I stand behind everything I’ve said and done, and I actually want to give this to you. I’m very proud of you. You were an excellent sub tonight, a gorgeous pony. You excited me to the point that I nearly lost control. You were beautiful, stunning, and you turned me on. Your eyes get so bright when you work hard to please me. And no, I’m not saying that because I’m supposed to. I’m not saying it because you need to hear it. I’m saying it because it’s the truth.”

Shuichi smiled with his sweet lips and his big beautiful eyes. It was exactly what he needed to know. Eiri said he was an excellent sub, and the shame and despair slipped further and further away.

“You were an excellent Dom too. I had fun.”

“Sugio.” Shuichi laughed at Eiri’s response. “Ready for sleep, or do you want to talk a little more?”

Eiri looked tired. It was hard to be a Dom. He had to concentrate on his sub’s pleasure and safety at all times, while maintaining his own sexual arousal and satisfaction levels. The scene didn’t really end until he gave Shuichi all the aftercare that was needed. The bathing, the massage, the reassuring words, the juice, the cuddling… it was all necessary to bring normalcy back into his sub’s life. He wanted nothing more than to slip into dark unconsciousness, but Shuichi wasn’t ready.

“Can we talk a little more?” An expectant face looked up into his golden eyes and begged silently for more reassurance and love. Eiri could do that. It was part of the lifestyle they had adapted. It was a trade off, and just as the preparation of his pony gave him a chance to be caring and loving in near secrecy, the aftercare did that for him even more.

“Sure. I’m listening.”

Shuichi and Eiri spent a couple more hours talking. Shuichi talked about his upbringing and how he was raised to be a different person. His mother had expected him to marry a girl, have babies, and work at some kind of career. Instead he was a rock star that liked to be dominated by another man. If his mother only knew that he let Eiri dress him up like a pony, prance him around the room and then mount him… Shuichi flushed with embarrassment and shame, and Eiri worked hard to reassure him. After all, Eiri had a much stricter upbringing, and his turn off his set path had started earlier than Shuichi’s. Eiri could understand the feelings in inadequacy in his small lover.

They talked about the scene they just finished. Shuichi wanted to know why Eiri liked him to dress up like a pony. Before he would answer the question, Eiri asked him if he liked being a pony.

“Very much. Its really sexy and hot. And it turns you on!”

Eiri laughed. “I like it pretty much for the same reasons. There’s something undeniably sexy about the exact spot on the back of your legs that the very ends of the ponytail brushes against. And that bit and harness… seeing you all trussed up like that makes me hard. And then there’s the added benefit that you can’t talk.”

Shuichi playfully swatted at him, laughing softly. “I KNOW you like that part.”

“So, do you want to play some more tomorrow? Scene a little longer?” Eiri raised one eyebrow as he asked the question. He hoped Shuichi was feeling ready to jump back into the games. Tomorrow’s scene was going to be a lot of fun for both of them, but if Shuichi didn’t want to, they’d put it off for a few more weeks.

“Gonna tell me what we’re gonna do?” Violet eyes sparkled as he voiced his question.

“Nope.” Eiri’s one word answer was obviously all Shuichi would receive, but rather than discourage him, he found himself looking forward to the games his Dom had planned for them.

“Okay. We’ll scene again tomorrow. Do you want something to drink?” Shuichi pulled the covers back and stood. His legs were sore from all the exercise, but Eiri’s massage made the pain far less than what could have been.

“Beer sounds good.” He nodded at the singer and waved him from the room.

“Yes master!” Shuichi replied with a laugh, and quickly walked to get a beer and another juice.

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Hiro spent most of the night on BDSM web boards, chat rooms and education sites. The more he read, the more he wanted to try things out for himself. Now, he just had to find a sub. But he didn’t even know what kind of sub he wanted. Male? Female? Younger? Older? Into heavy bondage? Light pain? The possibilities were endless. Rather than try and make up his mind at that moment, he decided to sleep on it for a few days. But first, he had to relieve that throbbing hardness between his legs.

He walked to his bed and stripped naked, throwing his clothes in a corner. Before coming home today, he had stopped at a local gag store and picked up a couple of ‘sexual aids’. The first was a bottle of lube – it got hot with friction. He poured the liquid in his hand and stroked his cock from base to slit, squeezing to arouse himself more. Once his entire cock was coated in the slippery stuff, he pulled out his second purchase – a masturbation sleeve. It was a pink tube made of a soft material. He slowly pushed himself inside the sleeve and held still for a moment for fear of cumming too soon.

Once the overly intense stimulation had passed, Hiro pulled the toy almost completely off his cock, leaving only the head inside. With a hard thrust, he pounded it back down and nearly screamed at the sensations. He began a steady pace of stroking himself with the toy. The inside was ribbed, and as each rib passed over his cock, it gave the illusion of fingers and tongues rubbing the pleasure into him.

He quickly rolled over and got up on his hands and knees. Spreading his legs wide, he held himself up with one hand while the other continued to squeeze and tease the toy along his length. His hips thrust into his hand, and Hiro gave into the fantasy. He imagined himself burying his cock deep inside his lover’s body over and over again. His passion climbed, and when he realized he was past the point of return, he tightened his grip and felt his cum drain into the toy and his hand.

Breathing heavily, Hiro collapsed into his bed and quickly fell asleep, sated and satisfied.

TBC…..


A/N: Not as happy with this chapter as I wanted to be, because while I wanted to keep the realism of scening, I also wanted to keep the fantasy of the story going. But that’s it for Sub-Drop (other than maybe a mention of it here and there). There will be more aftercare later though.

SO, question – I need your help. When I first started this fic, it was my intention to pair Hiro up with a female sub. BUT, I’ve had some strong feedback that wants to see him with a male sub. Personally, I’m totally open to either option. What’s your feeling??

TO MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS: Thank you yet again for your support of my story! I never beg for reviews, and treasure them all as they come in. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Next Chapter: What Eiri and Shuichi did the NEXT day… And Shuichi discusses the BDSM lifestyle with Hiro some more.

See you in a couple of days!!!