The Bad Adult Anime Fanfic

Disclaimer: Akamatsu Ken created Love Hina. I created Marty Stu, and damnit, he's the best character in this chapter! (0)

Summary: Uh... okay, I suck at summaries so I'm like totally not going to do one, okay? (1/2)

The Hinata apartments are one of Tokyo's best all-female apartments. They came complete with a hot springs. A young woman with short hair was disrobing. She placed her hot, lithe, athletic and naked body into the water right as Marty Stu bamfed in.
Kitsune looked up at him. "Well, you're really cute. What's your name, sugah?" She asked. (1)
"Why, I'm Marty Stu." Marty Stu responded.
"You know, in canon, Ah'd be wantin' to whoop your ass, but since this is a badfic, why don't y'all (2) come on in?" Mitsune said.
Marty Stu's clothes vanished like magic and he joined her in the water.
"Yea, I was in need of a good bath." Marty Stu said.
"So what's your name here?" Mitsune asked.
"Marty Stu, I just told you. Man, the writer isn't paying attention, is he? What's yours?" Marty Stu replied.
"Ah'm Mitsune, but you can call me Kitsune, sugah." Mitsune said. Marty got close to Mitsune and put an arm around her. She returned his arm.
"So are you doing anything later?" Marty Stu asked.
"What Ah'd like to do is be with you." Mitsune responded.
"So would I." Marty Stu responded. "I'm gonna fuck your pussy good." He thought.
Mitsune smiled as they held each other. Then she let out a faint burp.
"Sorry sugah, Ah reckon Ah had a bit too much." Mitsune said. She then giggled.
"A stinking drunk hot babe? SCORE!!" Marty Stu thought. Mitsune put her head on his shoulder. Marty Stu responded by holding up his other hand, and catching the bamboo sword that was coming down to hit him. The person swinging that sword was none other than Motoko, who was in her shrine maiden outfit.
"How did you know I was here?" Motoko asked.
"I am an expert on such matters. Sneaking up on me is impossible." Marty Stu said. "Now why are you trying to stop me from enjoying some quality time with Mitsune here?"
"You are taking advantage of a drunken young woman. That is wrong." Motoko said.
"She's drunk?" Marty Stu feigned ignorance.
"You are out of line. I challenge you to a duel!" Motoko replied.
"Okay, but if I win, you join us in here." Marty Stu replied. (3)
"I'd never agree to that in canon, but since this is a badfic, I accept your challenge." Motoko said.
Marty Stu exited the water and put on a robe. Motoko was very affected by seeing his semi-hard boner. He got his sword but kept it in its sheath.
"In Guard! (4)" Marty Stu said. They fought hard, but Motoko was no match for Marty Stu. He knocked the sword out of her hands.
Motoko hung her head in shame. "I have dishonored my shrine by losing." She said.
"Hey, you were a worthy opponent. I'll give you a few tips once we're done in the bath." Marty Stu said.
Clothing came off and they entered the water again. Motoko sat on the opposite side of Mitsune, next to Marty Stu.
"I am a maiden of the shrine. I am sworn to chastity." (5) Motoko said. "But you are making things very tempting for me..."
"Damn. There goes my chance for a threesome." Marty Stu thought. Mitsune was looking a little nauseous. She let out another faint burp, and then giggled.
"Ah had way too much to drink." Mitsune said.
"Allow me to help you out." Motoko said. She concentrated and raised her hand.
"Secret technique relieving hand." Motoko said as she touched Mitsune's stomach. There was a brief pause, and then Mitsune threw up all over Marty Stu.
"Aw, squick!" Marty Stu said. "I'm not into Roman Showers." (6)
Mitsune then passed out in his arms. Marty Stu reached for the soap and washed off the vomit.
"So what are you going to do with her?" Motoko asked.
"I'll take her back to her room. She needs to sleep this off." Marty Stu said.
"What? You're not going to rape her? I thought this was a badfic." Motoko said.
"Oh, it is. But I'm Marty Stu - I have to be noble. Besides, I can bang her any time I want." Marty Stu replied. He hauled Mitsune out of the water and then put a robe on her. He put a robe on himself and carried her to her room. (He just instinctively knew which room this was. He is Marty Stu, after all.)
Once there, Marty Stu set Mitsune on her futon. He pulled her robe back so that he could gaze upon her luscious tits and tight beaver. Mitsume woke up shortly thereafter and saw Marty Stu next to her. She nursed her head.
"Ah must be seein' thangs, 'cause it looks like there's this gorgeous hunk next to me." Mitsune said.
"Oh no, I assure you that I am real, Mitsune. You said we were going to make love right before you passed out." Marty Stu said.
"Wellp, Ah don't remember sayin' that, but since this is a badfic, Ah'll do you." Mitsune said. She moved his robe aside and took his swollen 31.75 cm of love into her mouth. Mitsune blew him very hard, even deep throating him. Marty Stu smiled as Mitsune gave him head.
"Ooh yea babe... you give great head..." He told her. She merely moaned as she blew him. He turned around and placed his tongue on her pussy. She didn't remove his hard boner from her mouth, even though it would have made things much easier. Mitsume moaned some more as Marty Stu ate her snatch out expertly. Neither one of them wanted to stop this 69; they did it for a long time. A few hours later, (7) they shifted around, and then Marty Stu started to slide his cock into her tunnel of love. He stopped short, and then threw on his robe.
"What's wrong, sugah?" Mitsune asked.
"Someone is watching us." Marty Stu replied.
"This is a badfic. Just let 'em watch." Mitsune replied. Marty Stu slid the door open and saw Kaolla and Shinobu standing there. Shinobu was red as a beet.
"We've been discovered!" Shinobu said.
"Oh my goodness gracious! This is a badfic, so are we going to have to join in now?" Kaolla asked.
"Why are you watching Mitsune and I having sex?" Marty Stu asked.
"Oh, come on. I have never seen it before. I wanted to watch someone do it first. Besides, your cock is very very long." Kaolla replied.
"Ah'm not too sure I want to know how you would know that." Mitsune said. (8) "Since this is badfic, I'm not getting up any hopes for an explanation." Marty Stu added.
Naru Urishima was busy studying with Keitaro. They were learning science when Mitsune and Marty Stu walked in.
"Hey y'all. Ah wanted to introduce you to Marty Stu." Mitsune said.
"Hai." Marty Stu added.
"Welcome to the Hinata apartments." Keitaro said.
"So you've got a boyfriend now. He sure is cute." Naru said.
"He just appeared out of nowhere. Ah haven't known him long, but Ah know he's a great kisser." Mitsune said. (9)
"Ah may have never kissed him before, but he gave me oral sex, and from that Ah know he's a good kisser."
Naru and Keitaro looked confused. "Well, that made no sense whatsoever, but since this is a badfic, we'll just take your word for it." Keitaro said.
"Ah'm glad you'll let the holes in the plot lie like that." Mitsune said.
"Say, I'm kind of hungry. When's dinner?" Marty Stu asked.
"Su and Shinobu are making it now." Naru said.
"Oh, so my sister Mary Sue is here?" Marty Stu asked. "She's the best cook ever (after me, of course.)"
"Uh, no, that's Kaolla Su. She's making a fried banana surprise dessert." Keitaro said.
"Hmm... well, I'll just bamf down there and see what's going on." Marty Stu said.
Therefore, he went down to the kitchen and found Shinobu cooking with Kaolla.
"Cooking is so fine/ Cooking is so fine/ Now it's time to take a break and see what we made." Shinobu sang. (10) She stopped and smelled the wok she was cooking.
"It's done. Would you help me set the table?" She asked.
"Certainly." Marty Stu replied.
Things were set and everyone sat down at the table. They had sushi for dinner. Everyone enjoyed it, and Kaolla Su's banana surprise was a hit.
"So where are you staying tonight?" Keitaro asked.
"Oh, I thought I'd be with Mitsune." Marty Stu said.
"Well, having guys stay here is against the house rules, but since this is a badfic, we can make an exception for you." Keitaro said.
"Yea, Marty Stu always gets what he wants." Naru added.
After dinner, Motoko and Marty Stu went to the roof and trained.
"You have journeyed far along your path, Motoko-san. However, we all have far to go on the endless pathway." Marty Stu said. He then threw a sheet of paper into the air. "Split it." He ordered.
"Secret technique slash." Motoko said. Her sword slashed the paper, cleaving it in two.
"Very good. However, you can be better. Allow yourself to relax yet be firm. Concentrate and focus. The mind is your best weapon." Marty Stu said. (11) He threw another sheet of paper into the air.
"This time, split it lengthwise." Marty Stu said.
"Secret technique slash." Motoko said. She cleaved the paper into two very thin sheets.
Late that evening, Marty Stu and Motoko were sparring. They were intensely focused upon each other's technique. They clashed bamboo sword to sheathed sword. Marty Stu gave her pointers, but in the end, he still knocked the sword out of Motoko's hand again.
"You have shown much improvement, Motoko-san. Keep practicing and you will be as good as I am someday." Marty Stu said.
"Arigato, Marty Stu-chan." (12) Motoko replied.
Marty Stu went back up to Mitsune's room. He found her wearing a sexy nightgown.
"So how did it go?" Mitsune asked.
"Motoko learned a lot. However, I'd rather be making you beg for more." Marty Stu said.
They embraced and kissed. Both of them felt the utmost pleasure as passion moved between them. Mitsune had kissed men before, but it was never as good as this. (Naturally, she was kissing Marty Stu, after all.) Marty ran his hands over Mitsune's ample mountains and she caressed his cock. However, it was getting late. After they came up for air, Mitsune stared into Marty Stu's eyes.
"Ah gotta git up early tomorrah, sugar. But Ah want you to sleep in mah arms tonight." Mitsune said.
"All right, babe. But keep that hot, tasty pussy of yours warm. I wanna get in it tomorrow." Marty Stu said. They went to bed and fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next morning Marty Stu woke up and found Mitsune lying in his arms. They were holding each other close and smiling. Marty Stu separated from Mitsune, and she woke up.
"Well Marty Stu, Ah got me a meetin' that Ah'm a-going to, but you jest wait and we'll be a-lovin' ferever!" Mitsune said.
"Marty Stu waits for no girl. I have to leave." Marty Stu said. He then bamfed out.
"Motherfucking asshole." Mitsune said. "Doesn't he realize that Ah have a life too!?"

(0) O.k., so Mary Sue/Marty Stu is your creation. That doesn't necessarily mean that he's the best character of all time. Don't make it clear that you've become Pygmalion.
(1/2) O.k., so you suck at summarizing things. DON'T POINTIT OUT!!
(1) Her name is Mitsune, not Kitsune! Kitsune is her nickname! In addition, she sure seems blasé about being seen naked, doesn't she?
(2) This one really honks me off. You is the word that southerners say for one person. Y'all is plural. A real southerner NEVER says y'all when referring to one person! (Being from Texas, I should know.)
(3) Motoko would NEVER agree to this in canon! Motoko is training to be a shrine maiden.
(4) It's en guard, from the French. If you're not sure about something, don't use it!
(5) I don't care how hot you think she is, Motoko will NEVER fuck a guy in canon! Slutty! Motoko is right out!
(6) I really can't see how anyone could be turned on by being thrown up on. This is yet another "the author is intentionally trying to squick the audience" moment. (But you have to admit, it was nice seeing Marty Stu get vomited upon, wasn't it?)
(7) Hours doing the 69? Now that's superhuman stamina! Sex normally lasts no more than 15 minutes, and even that is pushing it.
(8) It really annoys me that crapfic writers have preteen and early teen girls very knowledgeable about sex, and saying curse words. Granted, kids today learn about sex to keep them from being the victims of pedophiles, but it's just not cute having the cute 12-year-old Kaolla Su saying cock. We live in a world where 10-year-olds draw & post porn online. This disturbs me.
(9) The story doesn't mention that they've kissed before. So how does Mitsune know this? The explanation we're given is just so convoluted it boggles the mind.
(10) Just because you have a pop culture reference that's no excuse to use it. While an Azumanga Daioh/ Love Hina crossover could work, Shinobu singing is a bit OOC.
(11) These clichés have been used way too much. They are true, but overused.
(12) Honorific abuse is a no-no. -san is normal conversation; -sama confers great respect. The -chan suffix is usually for females with which one is friends. In addition, a person would use -dono for ONE person only. –Dono is derived from tono, which means feudal lord in Japanese.