Silent Acceptance

Stepping Out Again

Early April


“Good morning, everyone! Today is looking to be a beautiful one with temperatures up to 16 degrees and not a cloud in the sky for most of the region. A fine day for students nationwide to begin school...”

Sawa turned the television off. He'd gotten all the information he needed from the morning talk show.

“Yukihito-kun? Are you ready?” he called to the bedroom. “Your breakfast is getting cold.”

Inside, Yukihito fastened the last button of his uniform and looked into the mirror. The face that looked back at him didn't look ready. His stomach flipped flopped to the point that he wasn't sure that it was ready for breakfast, either. With a tiny sigh of resignation, he walked out of the bedroom door.

SNAP!

The flash of a camera just as he stepped out made him jump. Sawa grinned behind the cheap little device.

“I told you before, Mom and Dad are going to want a picture of you on your first day,” he explained as Yukihito brushed past him, slightly miffed. That was one unpleasant surprise. Not to mention that Sawa was wearing that damnable suit again, which made it hard to look him in the face. It was a shame Yukihito couldn't talk his uncle into wearing his favorite clothes today. School entrance ceremonies were formal affairs.

His appetite returned at the sight of breakfast on the table. He dug into the rice and pickles the moment he sat down.

Sawa joined him across the table. He knew that Yukihito wasn't angry with him, but it didn't make the rebuff hurt any less. The boy was going to need as much reassurance as possible today.

The train ride to school was a true test of Yukihito's tolerance for large groups. The car was packed, and the two had to stand squished together. He preferred to stand facing Sawa so he wouldn't notice the crowd too much. It was then he noticed that Sawa was wearing a familiar scent, a light floral fragrance that was his favorite. He felt better already.

Just as he was beginning to relax, the train lurched suddenly, causing Sawa to grab Yukihito around the shoulders and hold him close to keep him from falling over. Yukihito grabbed his waist to steady himself. Once the train continued to run smoothly Sawa noticed a few curious glances in their direction and tried to break the rather familiar hold. The boy wouldn't allow it, clutching even tighter. He was intent on soaking as much comfort as he could out of this trip.

When it became clear to Sawa that Yukihito wasn't letting go, he gave the remaining observers an apologetic look.

He honestly couldn't deny the boy anything.

Yukihito tried his best not to figit during the ceremony. He and Sawa had to separate once they arrived at Minato Gauken, and he quickly lost sight of him as the first years were marched into the auditorium. He paid scarce attention to the speeches and the introduction of the teachers, and took the opportunity while the class stood to here the school song to sweep the crowd of parents to find Sawa's silver topped head.

His second sweep found Sawa looking back at him, smiling.

“Good luck today,” he mouthed out with a wink.

Yukihito couldn't help but smile back. Sawa was expecting him to try his best, and it was the least he could do. That made him feel more at ease in a crowd of strangers. He would think of that smile throughout the day.

At the end of the ceremony, the student filed into the school proper and made their way into their respective classes. According to his schedule, Yukihito was assigned to room 1-C, on the first floor. He found that room easily, quickly claimed a seat near the window, and waited. The first day festivities were not over yet. The parents visited the homerooms and talked with the teachers.

A few of his fellow classmates greeted him. Yukari, a bubbly girl with pigtails; Mamoru, tall and lanky and cocky; Takato, brainy looking boy with glasses who sat behind him quietly after muttering a greeting. There were a few more name he promptly forgot as he gave each one a quick nod and introduction. He started to grab a workbook out of his bag to occupy himself when he heard a chorus of gasps from outside the room.

“And you're taking care of him all by yourself?”

“What a great deal of responsibility for a young man like yourself!”

Sawa stepped through the doorway, surrounded by a gaggle of mothers, some in tailored suits, a few in kimono. All were paying rapt attention to the charming young man who had just explained how he became his nephew's guardian. Yukihito watched the women's admiring glances with a slight hint of jealousy. So that's what was taking him so long to get here.

Sawa looked over at Yukihito. “Well, it's not too difficult. He's very mature for his age. I'm proud of him. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to tell him that personally.”

Without waiting for a response, Sawa went over to Yukihito's desk. “How are you so far? Still nervous?”

“A little,” he replied.

“So am I. But I meant what I told them. I'm so proud of you for getting this far. All you need to do is get though the rest of the school day and you're done. It gets much easier after that, I promise.” He placed a hand on one dark shoulder. He wanted more than to pull boy into his arms and kiss his face like some of the mothers were doing to their sons, but they had to keep up appearances. It's just not something a man would do.

Yukihito eyed the hand, also wanting a hug. “You don't have work today, right?”

Sawa nodded. He was able to change his schedule from nights to days a week ago. The only drawback was that he was now on a varying day schedule. Not to mention that he wouldn't be able to openly admire the merchandise as he did before.

“What are you going to do all day?”

“Well, I was thinking about getting some writing done. I've nearly finished the outline, and don't worry, I won't start the story until you've read it over. I'm not going to forget about your 'contributions'.”

“'s not my fault you can't spell...” Yukihito replied, smirking a little. That little wisecrack surprised Sawa.

“That's why I have you and spell check for-”

“Yukihito Sawa?,” a female voice drew their attention to the young woman suddenly standing before them. “I'm Ume Suzuki, your teacher. And this must be...?”

Yukihito scrambled to his feet as he and Sawa bowed.

“I'm his uncle, Tsuneo Sawa. It is a pleasure to meet you, Suzuki-san.”

Suzuki-sensei's smile widened. “I knew it was you, Sawa-san. We were in the same year back in high school.”

Sawa blinked, then looked closely at the teacher, trying to recall where he'd seen that face before. “I don't think I remember you, though.”

“I'm not surprised at all. I looked very different back then, all huge glasses and a mop of frizzy hair. I saw you in the library all the time.”

The description helped, and Sawa could visualize Suzuki-sensei as a teenager. Shy, stuttering, she volunteered at the library for the entire time he was in school. He didn't even know they were in the same grade.

“Ah, now I remember you. It's good to see you again,” he replied with a casual politeness. “How have you been?”

Yukihito watch the two adult's exchange with some of the same sense of jealousy he felt when he saw Sawa speaking to those other mothers earlier, and Sawa looked just as charming.

Sawa noticed the boy beginning to look a little upset. He didn't want to leave him with the wrong idea about Suzuki-sensei. From what he did remember of the woman now looking at him with adoring eyes, she was a sweet girl, but not terribly interesting. Some things hadn't changed.

“Yukihito-kun will be a great addition to your class,” he said as the student in question moved closer to him. “He's very bright and always tries his best. He's just a bit shy, but that won't be a problem for you.”

Suzuki-sensei's cheerful expression turned professional as she regarded the boy. Yukihito was impressed that she even remembered he was there.

“That won't be a problem at all, we can work with that, won't we, Yukihito-san?”

Sawa pulled him in for a brief hug. “I guess I should be going so class can start. Take care, and I'll see you later. We'll go out for dinner tonight to celebrate.”

Yukihito nodded silently, already wishing the day was over. He really was put off by this teacher, and he couldn't put a finger on why.

Outside the school, Sawa turned around and looked back at the building with a slight sense of loss. He wondered if this was how his own mother felt whenever she would see him off on his first day. He felt almost paternal. Or maternal. Or something like that.

As mush as he hating leaving Yukihito, he couldn't wait to get the suit off the minute he got home, leaving the jacket in a heap at the door, and the rest thrown a corner of the bedroom. Donning a yukata made him feel a lot better, and he was also entirely too tired to apply makeup. His body hadn't quite adapted to the new sleep schedule yet.

He attempted to finish the basic outline of his newest novel as promised. He preferred to write out the outline as opposed to typing it up. That way he could do it wherever he went. That task took considerably longer than was necessary, since he kept wanting to ask for Yukihito's input and the boy wasn't there. Even attempting an unrelated side story proved futile. He just couldn't concentrate. Perhaps some distraction would help, and he knew just what to do.

Well hidden in his satchel was the first video he'd ever rented from Tomodachi. Though Yukihito promised not to snoop around anymore, Sawa was still uncomfortable with keeping some of his newest acquirements lying around. Ayame had a great laugh at his expense when he came in and sheepishly requested “Victor's Spoils”.

“You know, you can't hide this one under the mattress,” she teased then while ringing him up.

“Perhaps I wasn't gong to hide it at all,” he replied with a smirk of his own.

She gasped with mock surprise. “Na-chan, you're getting sassier every time I see you. I'm so proud! I'll have you in a dress before you know it...”

He'd rolled his eyes then, amused by the new nickname and the claim about the dress. Ayame regularly threatened to take him out around town in one of her many frocks and insisted in calling him “Na-chan”. She would talk about her two favorite subjects, her acting career (sharing gossip about her co-stars) and hopping show bars in ni-chome. She wasn't the type of girl to perform on stage professionally, but she loved knocking back a few drinks and attempting to do karaoke or handing tons of yen to said professionals. Her favorite was an international performer named Hana-hime.

“You must come with me when she's back in town. She travels all over the world as an escort when she isn't on stage,” Ayame gushed. “And I'm not taking no for an answer. You got to start getting out more.”

Sawa had to agree. Ni-chome looked like a great deal of fun, and all he did when he arrived there was head straight to Tomodachi. There was so much more to explore.

Not that he was growing bored with the offerings at the novelty store. With Yukihito guaranteed to be gone for hours at a time, he could sample the more explicit offerings.

The plot of “Victor's Spoils” was laughably thin, an excuse to parade flesh in front of the camera for an hour and a half. A tall European looking gambler named Victor played various card games, betting sexual favors instead of cash. And he won many, many games, taking his single opponents in many, many ways. Plot aside, the scenes were very stimulating, getting a rise out of Sawa before he knew it. His hand had crept into the folds of his robe, pulling slowly at his erection. He had to smile at this; it had been such a long time since he'd indulged in masturbation and now it was simply an automatic response to touch himself.

On the screen, Victor's “victims” had ganged up on him for the climax. It was the same scene Sawa glimpsed his first night at Tomodachi. Victor was forced on all fours, taking the first member shoved into his mouth while being mercilessly pounded from behind. Sawa could only imagine how each sensation would feel and taste like. Writing about it was one thing, experiencing it was something else entirely. The very thought was enough to set him off and with a strangled groan he reached his own climax, staining the front of his yukata in the process.

He lay back, taking in huge amounts of air to calm himself as the credits rolled. He would have to get out more often. Sawa desperately wanted to experience what all he'd witnessed. Holding his physical desires back any longer wasn't doing him any good.

Having a proper release did clear his mind a bit, though. Rising from the couch, Sawa decided to grab a shower and try again at the outline. He felt inspired.


“I'm home,” Yukihito called softly as he closed the apartment door behind him. Surprisingly, he didn't received a response.

“Nagisa?” he called again, louder, stepping out of his shoes. Sawa couldn't have left without leaving some sort of note, so he checked the kitchen counter for one.

The kitchen was spotless, freshly clean and smelling of lemon, from that vantage point he noticed the living room had received the same treatment. Sawa was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. Even the blanket that covered said couch looked recently laundered. On the coffee table was another telltale stack of papers. Looks like he kept himself very busy today.

Yukihito rounded the couch, taking the opportunity to watch Sawa sleep for a change. With his silver hair mussed around his unadorned face, Yukihito couldn't help but make a parallel to the story of “Sleeping Beauty”.

Then Sawa turned his head and let out a most unladylike snore which forced Yukihito to cover his mouth to hide a sudden case of the giggles. Some “Sleeping Beauty” he was turning out to be. Then again, the tale didn't have 15 year old “princes” trying to wake them.

Though, now would be the perfect time to check out Nagisa's outline, he thought, kneeling at the table. The outline was still untitled, and spanned nearly 20 pages of work, not including character pages and setting descriptions. Sawa wanted to write a “true love story between two men”, as he told Yukihito while brainstorming for ideas.

It was set in modern times, in a neighborhood much like the one they lived in now. The protagonists lived in the same apartment building; Gen Asakura, a 19 year old college student who just moved in and Tatewaki Kuroda, 28, a salary man who had lived in the apartment since he was a child. The story centered around Gen's growing infatuation with Tatewaki; many “neighborly” visits, coincidental meetings for walks and the like. One big obstacle (besides Tatewaki's half-hearted insistence that he wasn't interested in men) was a young lady and her child who also visited Kuroda often.

Yukihito read though the outline with a frown. It was a good premise, but he flatly disagreed with the idea of the visiting woman being an obstacle at all. That idea had been done to death. He would make it a point to tell Sawa later. Now he wanted his uncle to wake up. He made it though an entire 8 hour day without seeing his face or hearing his voice.

Going with the half-cocked “Sleeping Beauty” idea, he leaned down slowly and brushed his lips against a pale temple. He ended up kissing more hair than skin, but the effect was the same-Sawa's eyes fluttered open and blinked twice.

“Yukihito-kun, how long have you been in?” he asked, sleep still clinging to his voice.

“Not long,” he answered with a little smile.

“I wanted to be awake to greet you, but I guess I wore myself out a bit.” He rose into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around Yukihito. After his shower and finishing the outline, he cleaned the house from top to bottom, remembering to eject “Victor's Spoils” and hide it again. “How was school?”

Yukihito relaxed against Sawa's frame. It felt entirely too good to be held like that. He missed their easy affections during the day.

“School was okay.” He didn't want to think about it, but his day was surprisingly dull. He remembered a few of his classmates names by the end of the day. The classes seemed easy enough, the bento he had for lunch was delicious, there wasn't any homework today, and...

“Suzuki-sensei asked about you.” A lot between classes. What did Sawa do for living now, where did they stay, was he married, and so on. That marriage question made her brighten so much that it wished he answered differently. What was she so interested for? “She wants to do the parent visit some time in the next two weeks.”

“Of course, I remember. A teacher must visit each other home room student's home after school begins to talk with the parents. We'll have to make sure that we treat her well when she comes over, but I don't see any problems with that. We're always on our best behavior.” He pulled away to look directly at Yukihito. “So, what about dinner? I want to celebrate.”

Yukihito frowned at bit. He had spent most of his day surrounded by strangers. All he wanted was to stay at home with Sawa tonight, maybe rent a movie or work on his novel. Even staying just as he was, pressed against the soft fabric of his robe, feeling warn and safe, was just what he needed right now.

“You don't like the idea? I thought you'd be sick of curry rice and pickles about now. Doesn't a nice hot pot sound like a great change of pace?”

“You're going to have to wear a suit or something.” This was Yukihito's trump card. Could Sawa stand to dress up as a man twice in one day?

From the smirk on Sawa's face, he knew his tactic had failed.

“For your information, I know just of a little place in Kabukicho that opens long before all the naughtier stuff.” While not as safe for him as ni-chome, Sawa felt that the red light district was a decent place to express himself. He'd only gotten a few snide comments while walking though. Besides, Ayame recommended Ha-Ha's to him and he wanted to try it out. “I can dress any way I wish. As a matter of fact, I think I'd look a little weird going there as a man. So, how about it?”

The pleading look on Sawa's face made resistance futile. He honestly couldn't deny the man anything, either. Sawa insisted that they both change before they leave, an idea that held great appeal to Yukihito. He was getting stuffy in that dark gray uniform.

Back on the train, the evening crowd made it standing room only, and Yukihito practically stood in Sawa's pockets, he stayed so close. In this situation, though, he felt less afraid and more protective. Standing in front of Sawa was more like shielding him from the various strange glances his appearance earned them, even with the scarf and shades combo.

“It's alright, Yukihito-kun. I'm getting used to it,” Sawa said after noticing the stony glare he was returning to one gob smacked observer.

“It's impolite to stare,” Yukihito mumbled back.

Pleased at the verbal response, as quiet as it was, Sawa gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I don't think of it as rude anymore. They're just so amazed at my beauty that they can't help but stare.”

The surprised snort of laughter was reward enough for such a lame line. He started using it to deal with the unwanted attention when he took the train alone. It never failed to make him feel better, and he was glad that it did the same for his companion.

Once in Kabukicho, the disguise came off and Sawa set off to find the restaurant, reminding Yukihito to stay close. Though it was early in the evening, he didn't want Yukihito to wonder off in this kind of neighborhood.

They had only walked a few blocks away when a commotion alert them to a nearby alleyway.

“Give me back my purse, asshole!”

A dark clad figure dashed from the alley, heading straight for Sawa and Yukihito. Thinking quickly, Sawa pushed the boy out of the way. As the thief barged past them, Sawa grabbed his arm and whirled him against the brick wall. The momentum was enough to stun the man into dropping the pink purse he held. For a split second, Sawa nearly barked “You're under arrest!” before he regained his senses.

“Get out of here before we call the police,” he said instead, letting go of the arm he still clutched and backing away. “Are you all right, Yukihito?”

Yukihito was kneeling on the sidewalk, picking up the purse. “H-hai.” He'd never seen his uncle at work, and the scene he just witnessed was both unnerving and comical. Sawa didn't even mess up his hair in the process.

“Are you sure? I could catch him again and read him his rights. I think I can run in these heels.” He didn't miss Yukihito's tiny little smirk and was glad that he didn't scare him.

“Na-chan!?” A familiar voice directed the two to look back at the alley the mugger had tried to escape from. “How did you learn to kick ass like that?”

Ayame briskly stepped toward them, brushing strands of her bright pink wig out of her face before kneeling in front of Yukihito. “Hey, cutie. I believe that's my purse you've got. May I have it back?”

“Sure,” Yukihito replied, handing the back to the strange woman. How did she know Sawa, and when did he start going by “Na-chan”?

“Ayame-chan, are you all right? That guy didn't hurt you, did he?” Sawa asked as they both stood up.

“Oh, no, darling. I was just about to pull out my mace out of my pocket when he broke free and took off. I was more afraid of losing those props I had stashed in here. The director would have been so pissed if I lost them. Oh, by the way, check out this outfit I'm wearing for tonight's film...”

Before Ayame could untie the ties keeping her coat closed, Sawa held up on hand to stop her and another over Yukihito's eyes. He'd seen some of her work outfits-some would violate decency laws even in the middle of Kabukicho, and other simply left little to the imagination. “Ayame, hold on a minute!”

The outfit was surprisingly conservative, a white vinyl minidress that hugged her close, giving her a deep cleavage and cut so short that Sawa was afraid that her little “secret” would be revealed if she raised her arms. He unshielded Yukihito's eyes.

“Oh come on, Na-chan. I'm sure the boy's far more mature than than he looks, assuming that this is the Yukihito that you've talked so much about.” Directing her attention to the young man in question, she grabbed his cheeks like an overindulgent aunt. “Yes, you are, and you're just as adorable as Na-chan described you. And that beauty mark right under your eye! I'd kill to have one!”

Sawa fully expected Yukihito to clam up in the presence of his overexcited friend. This had to be too much for him. He leaned over to yank Ayame away.

Much to his surprise, Yukihito simply flushed to the roots of his hair and stammered out a thank you.

“You're very welcome, cutie. I'm Ayame, one of your 'cousin's' friends. So tell me, you two aren't really cousins, aren't you? He speaks far too fondly of you.”

What on earth was she asking for? He wondered A part of him was flattered that his uncle thought so much of him to tell his friends about him. And the fact that Sawa thought him as adorable pleased him even more. He smiled at Ayame, which made her giggle and Sawa sputter.

“You don't have to say a word, that smile is enough for this girl.” Releasing Yukihito's face, she whirled around and winked at her friend. “See, that wasn't hard at all, Na-chan. He's so expressive without even having to speak.”

“Ayame, you've got the wrong idea-again.”

She rolled her eyes heavenward. “Mmm-hmm, sure I do. And why on earth are you bringing him to this side of town? He's underage and looks it.”

Glad that Ayame was no longer pawing his nephew or implying more about about their relationship, Sawa answered, “It's early enough for us to grab a bite at Ha-Ha's. Today was his first day at school.”

“Well, you better be careful with a boy this cute. Some goody two-shoes cop might not buy the 'he's my cousin' story.”

Sawa cringed a bit. While he was greatly concerned about Yukihito's safety in Kabukicho, he didn't think about the risk to them both should a police officer get too nosy. That was very poor planning on his part. Even telling the truth might be a little too hard to believe in this case.

“Buy hey,” Ayame continued, “You're right. It's early, so they don't really have a reason to be out here in force just yet, so I wouldn't worry. I've got to run, you two. Have fun at dinner!” She leaned over and pecked Yukihito on the cheek before scrambling off, laughing at Sawa's cry of protest.

“You're just too easy to tease, Na-chan!”

Yukihito touched the check Ayame kissed and watched Sawa fume at the trail of smoke she left. He couldn't help but be amused at him. Sawa couldn't be jealous, could he? It was just a kiss, no more than what he and Grandma would give him.

“She has some nerve,” Sawa grumbled as they continued their walk. “accosting someone she just met like that.”

“She seemed nice,” Yukihito replied. “And she's your friend, so I don't mind.”

Sawa looked him over. Not a single sign of tension in the boy, and he's seen him lock up pretty badly in the past, especially around other men.

“You know, she's like me, in a sense.”

That made Yukihito stop for a moment, confused. Like him? But Ayame looked like a woman, all made up and referring to herself as “this girl”. Of course, being a a healthy red-blooded young man, he couldn't help but notice her obvious chest threatening to burst out of her dress. “She's a man?”

“At birth, yes. Now she's becoming just who she feels she's always been, one part at a time.”

“Is that what you want to do?” Yukihito tried to picture breasts on Sawa's tall frame-and the mental image just wasn't working out quite well. In fact it made him laugh.

Sawa shook his head, not noticing Yukihito's reaction. “I don't think so. Could you image me with breasts? They'd have to be pretty big to look natural and accommodate my shoulders and-what's so funny? Don't tell me you are? Yukihito-kun!”

Author's Notes

Welcome, anyone who's reading this from Adult Fan Fiction. com!

Holy moley, there's a lot of people reading this! I'm so glad for all the responses! Btw, you're welcome to friend this LJ, I only use it for chapters and author updates, and you can get the latest right away!

I hope I not casting Sawa as too much of a pervert with this chapter...

Announcement:I'm going to try my best to release one or two more chapters before mid-October. After than I'm going to be throwing myself into NaNoWriMo until the end of November. I'm hoping like crazy that I make it like I did last year (here's a link to my author page from then, with an except from my original novel). Wish me luck!

“Are you sure? I could catch him again and read him his rights. I think I can run in these heels.”