To crack a nut

Title : To crack a nut ( Chapter 5 )
Dislcaimer : i'm just playing with them for a bit. They do not belong to me and i do not make any money out of this or them. This is written for pure entertaining and enjoyment purposeses.
Tezuka’s point of view.
Authors note : I'm sorry it's taken so long to update!! Hope I'm not too rusty.. And please take note, it's un-beta-ed.

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Brown orbs welled up at the very mention of not having the smaller man with me any longer. I had to grip the railings just to support myself as my legs felt like jelly; almost giving way under my weight. I couldn’t look at him any longer. Moving away from the stairs I leaned against the wall and slowly collapsed onto the floor. It pained me so much just to think about breaking up, much less having your lover say it straight to your face. What was going on here? My head was spinning and a light headed feeling washed over me.

Cold hands wrapped themselves around my cheeks and I looked up to meet glassy azure orbs. The smaller man had taken his time to walk back up the stairs, most likely contemplating what to say to me after that sudden outburst. It wasn’t until recently that the amount of smaller arguments and disagreements had increased tremendously.

“ Mitsu, gomen. I didn’t mean it that way. I was just upset.” He put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes as tears trickled down pink stained cheeks. I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to find words to speak but nothing came out.

I kissed his tears away and a tingling feeling ran over my tongue as the salty liquid spread across my tongue. Burying his face into my chest I held him and could feel my think shirt soaking up his tears. I ran soothing strokes over his back and cooed softly. A sniff or two later, he had calmed down considerately and was looking up at me with those slightly slanted sapphire eyes.

“ Let’s go back into the apartment. We can talk there.” I tried pulling the brown haired man up along with me as I stood to my feet but just ended up falling down all together. We both burst out laughing as we walked back into the apartment with my arm possessively around his hips.

I closed the door silently after we both had stepped into the living room. The smaller man made a bee line for the sofa and sat down, grabbing a pillow and clutching onto it. He rested his chin on the pillow, his eyes down cast but pink nevertheless from crying. The mere sight of him just made me want to rush to his side and kiss his tears away but this time, I couldn’t do so because I was the cause of his tears.

Just then the sound of my phone resounded in the room. It continued to buzz and I made no move to answer it until Syuusuke looked up to me questioningly. Finally I picked up the phone and answered with a sigh.

“ Kuni, what are you doing later today?” A low throaty voice spoke after I had answered my cell phone.

I frowned, slightly annoyed that the person on the line dared address me so casually.

“ Who is this?” Irritation was deliberate in my tone of speech.

“ I’m hurt Kuni. Don’t you recognize my voice? We just had tea the other day.” I could imagine the cool smile gracing his lips as the person on the other end of the phone spoke.

“ Ahh, gomen, I was just preoccupied with some other things. What can I do for you?” I had relaxed fairly once realizing who had called me. It was refreshing to hear someone else’s voice and I wondered what he needed. It wasn’t often you had a guest call you out thought it should’ve been the other way around. Just then I realized that Fuji was still looking at me, probably wondering who it was on the line.

“ Nothing really. Just thought maybe you’d like to meet and have dinner together. You could bring Fuji along too.” Pausing for a moment I thought of the best way to answer him without allowing him to find out our current situation but if I was found telling a tale, the humiliation would be far worst for me to endure.

“ I think maybe now isn’t the best of times. We had a little argument and..” I had stepped into the kitchen and lowered my voice. Though I knew the truth was te best way to go, I didn’t need Fuji knowing I was telling a foreigner that I had met by chance that we were having problems in our relationship.

“ I understand. Then don’t worry about it. I’ll just try you another time then.” Jake had sounded so disappointed as he answered that resolved sentence that I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“ No, please. You came all the way here. I’ll have dinner with you. Where would be convenient?” My slender fingers ran through my hair and stopped to give my scalp a little scratch.

Jake had suggested a place he had read about in one of those tourist magazines and I agreed to meet him there later in the evening. I shut the flip phone close and clutched it tightly, letting out an exasperated sigh. I massaged my temples in a circular motion to try to soothe the throbbing feeling. My head felt like it was about to explode at any moment. Things were looking bleak for Fuji and I and it occurred to me that maybe it was just about time we broke up. We had maintained this relationship since high school and it was amazing how many years it had been. Maybe our time is just up; it probably wasn’t meant to be and it might be about time we started considering out futures seriously. Shocked at the pattern my thoughts were taking I pushed those sour muses out of my mind and tried to shift my attention to something on a lighter note.

At least dinner tonight and meeting up with Jake would cheer me up to a certain extent. It was nice of Jake to want to invite Fuji along too though they’ve never met.

Wait, have I ever mentioned Fuji to Jake? I don’t think I have so how did he know..?

Brown orbs stared questioningly up at the ceiling and I was at a loss. If I had not spoken to him about the blue eyed man then how did the American know I had a lover? Though he didn’t say it directly, he surely implied that Fuji and I was having a relationship. This was absurd but nothing I should be this shocked about. It wasn’t as though Syuusuke and I had kept this under wraps. Normally I would ask Syuusuke directly if he knew the raven haired man but with the heated tensed atmosphere at the moment, I had decided against it. Moreover it wasn’t important as our relationship had been made known to the public.

So far, this was the worst fight we have ever had. Usually it was over small trivial things but this wasn’t something to take lightly. The tensai had said that maybe things were beyond repair so what did he mean by that? I felt like just running out of the apartment, standing in the middle of the road and scream my lungs out to let out my frustrations.

Maybe it was my fault to not want to deal with the problem head on and allowed him to escape; not going after him. I know Fuji liked to be chased, to have his lover obsessed with him and to see only him. As the middle child, it was not a surprise that he had turned out that way.

I returned into the living room and saw that Fuji was no longer there on the couch. Odd? I stepped into the bedroom and found the brown haired man seated on the bed. I paused by the doorway for a moment before going to comfort him. Duty calls, so what’re you going to do? I may be falling right into one of his traps again but he’s worth it.

“ Syuu, I’m sorry I accused you for wanting to have anything to do with that punk.” I said, testing the waters of his mood. Sometimes it was impossible to gage his response. I only received a nod in acknowledgement that he had heard me. Did he want me to go on?

“ You know that I love you, right? And I wouldn’t want to be parted from you, no matter what.” Slowly but surely I inch my way closer to him until our shoulders are touching. I notice his hair is still slightly wet and hanging in his eyes. I stopped myself from reaching out and pushing those strands of hair from his blue orbs.

“ Fuji, please look at me.” I touch his chin and used force to make him face me.

“ Mitsu-chan, I know that. But can you love two people at the same time? Do you whisper these sweet nothings to him too? Telling him and promising to never leave his side!” He raised his voice and between soft chokes his frustrations came out.

What is he talking about? Does he not realize I have not looked at anyone since I fell in love with the tensai seated before me?

I took his hands in mind, giving them a soft squeeze. I wanted to reassure him that I only saw him, wanted him, because it was him who completed me. Not anyone else. Just him. No strings attached.

“ Syuu, my Syuusuke. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who is this other person you keep mentioning? Tell me. Tell me so I can tell you how much he isn’t apart of my life. How he isn’t important. How I don’t love him. Because I don’t want anyone less than you.” My questions are more phrases than anything, not allowing him to doubt me because he has no reason to doubt the depth of my feelings for him.

This isn’t any high school crush because we’ve come a long way since then. Many obstacles we’ve overcome and we’ve only survived because we stuck together, trusted one another and never stopped loving. This is why I’m still with him though I may be growing old. Sure it isn’t easy with both our schedules but because we’ve worked at it for so long and so hard, it’s going to last. It would be a shame if it ended here; because of what I believe to be a misunderstanding. It has to be cleared up.

“ Mitsu-chan, please don’t lie to me because if there is someone out there that you’d rather be with than me then please tell me and stop leading me on. It would only destroy us both if even one of us has doubts about this relationships; if you can still call it a relationship.” He looked up with me with glassy eyes and I caressed his cheek with ghostly touches and then he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. As I mentioned before about Fuji being unpredictable, this was one of the ways I tested the waters and surprisingly it was rather safe, for now.

“ I love you. Please trust me.” I forced a smile.

“ I do. I’m sorry I doubted you. Please, it’s just me being silly. It’s just stress from work. I don’t know why I didn’t believe you. I had to be out of my mind to even think that my lovely Mitsu-chan would even think about cheating on me. You love me too damn much, now don’t you?” It took Syuusuke quite a while before he was able to snap back into his character and play it off coolly.

The brown haired man then stands to his feet, tossing the wet towel around his neck into the washing basket in one corner of the room before announcing that he was going to have tea outside and have a look at today’s news. He did invite me along but then I somehow felt that the invitation was more because of courtesy than actually wanting my presence there. Perhaps he did need his own space and some time on his own. But then, I still can’t get past the fact that he has to think twice about my loyalty to him. After all these years, you’d think that he’d know he’s the only one I ever look at anymore. Fine, so maybe that’s a lie but as long as I look but don’t touch, no harm is done, right?

I glanced at my watch as Fuji threw on a simple sweater and pair of faded jeans before throwing a smile my way and leaving the room. It was almost 4 pm. which would give me just enough amount of time to have a leisured shower and take a drive over to meet Jake for dinner. Then it hit me that I had failed to mention it to Fuji that I wouldn’t be joining him for dinner. Maybe it was for the best that we had our time apart but sometimes, what you think may be good for a couple might just have the opposite effect on Syuusuke. My little minx is a walking puzzle that I can’t fully solve up to now, though the pieces are starting to come together; one at a time.

I just hoped we had the endurance to wait for the pieces to become a whole picture and withstand the test of time which recently has seemed to be quite a challenge. Why had it suddenly become so hard for us to be together? It used to be so easy before. Didn’t take any effort. It didn’t feel like a duty to be with one another because it was something wanted mutually. But what about now?

I shook those thoughts out from my head and went in search of my favorite purple dress shirt. We were going to a slightly posh restaurant and I didn’t want to come out looking like a street rat. Besides, I was sure to bump into one person that I knew there. I normally wouldn’t venture into such a place because of the unwanted attention you receive when you have world recognition at the moment as being the world’s number one men’s single’s tennis player. Though I hardly ever enjoyed the limelight but it isn’t so bad if you look at is as other people just giving your talent a little recognition. Okay, maybe not that little but a lot. Still don’t you think I deserve it? After all, I was the one who worked for it.

Rummaging through the pile of freshly dried clothes though not ironed, I finally found the shirt. Next to it in the pile was a pair of dress slacks that I had thought before to be in my cupboard. What luck! Now I needn’t go scavenger hunting for more laundry.

With a smile plastered on my face, I was really looking forward to an enjoyable dinner with Jake. Happily I grabbed my towel and disappeared into the shower, shutting the door behind me and turning the knob to lock it.

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So what did you think? I’m sorry this story when on hiatus for so long and honestly, I was so busy with everything else that I totally forgot about it. Whoopss..? Anyways, being the smart person that I am, I couldn’t remember a thing of what I wrote and had to reread the whole thing again. Then I had no idea where I had intended this story to go so, I’m just really sorry for the delay!! Gomen, gomen, gomen! But hopefully it’s still up to your standards. Enjoy the update! Now let me crack my brain about chapter 6. lol.. Have a great week. May this chase your Monday blues away!