Counterparts

CHAPTER 5

Goku was glad to hear that the group from Houtou Castle was coming to visit. Maybe he and Kougaiji could go out in the courtyard and spar a little bit… He was actually getting stiff muscles from lack of exercise after sitting around so much since Gojyo had gotten hurt. In some ways it seemed to him like it had been years since that horrible day on the side of the mountain. He wished he could stop seeing it all go by over and over again in his head, and stop himself from spinning out all the different ways it could have gone “if only”… if only he had done this, if only he had known that… He was the strongest one in the party – he should have protected Sanzo from the goddamn shikigami. If any one of them had to be lying there hurt, it should be him, not Gojyo. If only he had gotten to the damn thing first, and not Gojyo, but the damn mountain road was so narrow and Gojyo had been ahead of him, he had been walking next to Sanzo. They had been doing that a lot before the accident.

Goku was no fool. He was around eighteen years old now in “human” years, not to mention the over five hundred years that he had really been around in one form or another. He knew stuff about sex, he had always been able to ask Gojyo questions when he had them, and the kappa had always given him honest answers, with no bullshit. He didn’t even tease Goku when Goku asked him about sex things – he just sat down with him and let Goku ask his questions and explained things in a way he could understand. When Goku had asked Gojyo about him and Sanzo, Gojyo had told him the truth. He had told him that they were having sex together and they really cared about each other. One day shortly before the accident Goku had asked Gojyo if they were in love, because he had noticed they were fighting with each other, and he knew people in love sometimes fought a lot. When Goku asked him that one, it was the only time the kappa ever didn’t give him a straight answer. He got a funny look and turned away, and shook his head, and he said, “I don’t know, Monkey. I honestly don’t know.”

Goku knew that Sanzo had been worried sick since Gojyo was hurt, and it seemed to him that it was more than just that he felt guilty about it. He watched Sanzo, day in and day out, keeping his vigil by the kappa’s bed, helping Hakkai with his care, not eating, barely sleeping. He saw Sanzo getting thinner, and paler, and he worried about him – he worried about him a lot. He knew Hakkai tried to get the monk to eat, and that Sanzo would probably listen to Hakkai more than he would to him, so he didn’t say anything.

Goku remembered Hakkai saying to him one time, “real maturity is when you learn to put the needs of others before your own needs.” He had been really lonely since Gojyo had gotten hurt… he missed the easy camaraderie he had with Gojyo, he missed having Hakkai looking out for his needs, and he missed not getting any attention at all from the center of his universe, Sanzo. But he also could see that he was not the one that was important right now. He knew that the most important thing was trying to take care of Gojyo and get him well. And after that came keeping Sanzo steady, and getting Hakkai whatever he needed to do his work as a healer. Goku knew that his needs paled in comparison to all of those, and he was really ok with that, it was as it should be.

Goku knew that if Gojyo survived there would be plenty of time for them all to spend together and for things to get back to how they used to be. He also knew that there was a chance that Gojyo might not make it; he had overheard Sanzo and Hakkai talking about it. He knew that if that happened Hakkai and Sanzo were going to need him, that they were going to be hurting really badly, and that he couldn’t be whining like a baby because he was hungry or he needed something, he had to be there for them.

So Goku hung back, took care of himself, and helped out whenever he could. When he was hungry he went to the café in the hotel and ate, he washed everyone’s clothes so Hakkai wouldn’t have to do it, he ran errands when Hakkai needed him to, and he mostly tried to stay out of Sanzo’s way. He sent Sanzo a message through Hakkai to let him know that he cared and he was worried, and that if Sanzo needed him, he would do anything he could. Whenever he saw Sanzo, looking reed-thin and so pale, his brow creased with worry, Goku would quietly say hello. He would usually gently reach out and touch his shoulder, and go on his way, even though what he really wanted to do was throw his arms around him and hug him really hard, but he knew that wouldn’t be good for Sanzo.

In the back of his mind he kept hearing this voice saying the same thing over and over like one of Sanzo’s Buddhist mantras. The meaning to him now was something completely different than it had been when he had first heard it, but the voice was always there, in his head, like the moan of a steady night wind across the desert. It was Homura’s dark rich voice, and it was urging him on, over and over again. “be strong, Son Goku, be strong…….

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Dear Yaone,

I am pleased to hear that you and your party there are planning a visit to see Gojyo soon. Although he is unconscious, there is, as you know, evidence that patients in comas can hear much of what goes on around them. I am encouraging Gojyo’s family here to talk to him as much as possible, and I am sure if his brother were to come to see him it would be most beneficial. Of course Goku and Kougaiji always seem to enjoy sharing their banter regarding their rivalry, and I would be quite pleased to see you to discuss herbal cures and the latest in natural healing methodologies of course. I have arranged for accommodations for your party here in the hotel for the dates you specified. I think you will find that while it is not luxurious it is nonetheless quite pleasant.

You mentioned that Dokugakiji wanted to know how Gojyo received his injuries. While it is still a painful subject, I can understand his desire to know and have no problem sharing it with you. Since Sanzo and to Goku (erroneously in mu humble opinion) both feel themselves responsible, I would appreciate it if you would let Dokugakuji know that should he desire any further clarification on this subject, he is welcome to speak with me in private during your visit or any time.

A little over two weeks ago now we were traveling on a mountainous stretch of road approximately twenty miles east of here. The road had gotten too narrow and too treacherous for Hakuryu to traverse so we were traveling on foot. Without warning we were quite suddenly ambushed from overhead by a large and gruesome beast that we have since determined was a shikigami. It headed directly for Sanzo - whether its purpose was Sanzo’s destruction or to obtain the Maten Scripture or both we are uncertain, but our leader was immediately knocked unconscious by the beast, and it obviously meant to kill him.

Being on the side of the mountain like that, there was very little room for maneuvering to fight the creature as we normally would, but somehow Gojyo managed to get to it very quickly and divert it from Sanzo. He went after it with his shakujou, its chain wrapped around the beast, and unfortunately when he managed to kill it and the creature went over the edge of the mountain it took Gojyo with it. He fell to the next ledge down which was nearly a one hundred foot drop, and it is only due to the sturdy youkai side of his constitution that our Gojyo is still with us at all.

Fortunately Sanzo was not seriously injured, and I was able to heal his injuries in short order. Gojyo, however, sustained a serious abdominal injury from the beast, as well as the head injury from the fall. To this day we do not know what the nature of the shikigami was, or why it was after Sanzo. The only thing remaining of the creature when it perished from the fatal effects of Gojyo’s shakujou was a small ivory carving of a fox. If not for that we might not have even known it was a shikigami, but we still have no clues as to its origins. We have some concerns that it or another similar monstrosity dispatched from wherever it issued may follow us here, but at the moment all we can really worry about is tending to our wounded.

If this letter is inappropriately casual, Yaone, you have my profound apologies. I am so worried about the fate of my dear friend, and about Sanzo and Goku as well, that I think the stress is having its effects on me as well. I’m sure you understand how the burdens of being the healer and the heavy responsibilities involved can take a heavy toll as time goes on. Some times I simply feel like getting into jippu along and just driving off into whatever direction Hakuryu decided to take us. (The poor little fellow has been going west so long he probably has forgotten that there are other directions!)

Isn’t that horrible of me, Yaone? Please forgive me for indulging in such self-pity and rampant self-disclosure here, but you are the only one I know who could truly understand what I am going through at the moment. Sometimes one just needs to let things out to another person, and somehow I feel confident that you will as always treat anything I say to you with your usual empathy and compassion.

Thank you once again for your kind assistance, and or all your help, Yaone. Even though I obviously so much wish it was under better circumstances, I truly am looking forward to your visit.

Very Sincerely,

Hakkai

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~TBC~

END OF PART I