Counterparts Part III

Chapter 12


Gojyo watched in rapt fascination as all of the people most important to him in the world sat around the hotel room discussing his fate. It was the strangest feeling to see himself lying in the bed down there, and then to look down and see his own hands gripping the railing of Kanzeon’s balcony where he was standing at the same time- it made him feel like his head should be spinning around 360 degrees.

He felt kind of honored that they all had gathered together on his behalf – he was surprised to see that even the Brat Prince had shown up, and really touched to see how emotional his brother was about everything. It made him wish he had tried harder when he had the chance to mend fences with him.

He saw the little telling glances between Hakkai and Yaone, and chortled to himself – he knew there was something going on between those two. Too bad it took his dying to make it happen, he would have loved to have been around to see Hakkai rediscovering the joys of sex – he would have had so much fun teasing his prissy ass!

He was amazed at what he saw of Goku. The kid was acting like… like a young man. He was acting more mature than anyone else there. He was carrying himself with an air of confidence and maturity that Gojyo had never seen before. It made him kind of sorry he wouldn’t be around to see what he would be like in another ten years when he was fully grown, to see what kind of man he would turn out to be. He wondered if the saru might not turn out to be some kind of a leader- watching him now he almost had this air of royalty about him.

He knew his death would go hard on Hakkai, and he worried about that. He had already had such huge losses in his life, and now to lose his best friend, too. He also worried that Hakkai might feel like a failure because he had not been able to save him. He knew how easily the youkai assumed guilt for things, even when it was not his to assume. He wished he could tell him that he knew he had done all that he could, that it was nobody’s fault, that it simply was what it was. He hoped that the relationship he thought he saw budding between him and Yaone would keep Hakkai from retreating too far inside himself when he was gone - he could be such a loner.

And then there was the loner to end all loners… his Sanzo-chan. He looked down at Sanzo standing by the window and he barely recognized him. He had never seen him looking this bad, so pale and gaunt – almost haunted. He watched him isolating himself from the others, and saw the pain on his face, and could see that he was clearly in terrible torment.

Gojyo turned to Kanzeon, “see – he’s suffering. Ok, I get the point, the others would miss me, but not Sanzo. He would be much better off. He’s in agony.”

“You think so, hmm?” said Kanzeon, smiling slyly.

“Yeah, he’s breaking my heart – I can’t stand much more of this – let’s go ahead and end this and put him out of his misery. It’s too hard to see him like this- I love him too much. I just have to let him go.”

“Ok,” she said, “let’s see what happens.”

The silence was deafening. Everyone in the room froze, staring mutely at the completely still figure in the bed. As many times as they had all seen death on the battlefield, seeing it happen like this, being this intimate with the actual moment of a loved one’s passing was a totally stunning and mind-numbing moment.

All except for Sanzo. Suddenly all his silence and inactivity was converted to an absolute frenzy of action and volume. He jumped on the bed, straddling Gojyo’s hips, and grabbed him by the shoulders with both hands, screaming and shaking him furiously.

“No you don’t you bastard, not now you don’t!! You made me love you, goddammit and you’re not gonna leave me in the fucking lurch alone now!! You come back now you asshole or I’ll haunt your ass to hell and back again!! He slapped Gojyo in the face, hard. The smack resounded through the room like a gunshot.

“I love you, you goddamn moron, there, are you happy?!” he screamed. “Now get your lazy fucking cockroach ass back here and get it back here NOW!!” It’s a safe bet the people at both ends of the hall and on all floors gathered the mood, if not the specifics, of his words.

Gojyo turned to Kanzeon on the balcony, beaming, “I love it when he sweet-talks me.”

“Yes, that’s my Konzen.”

“Guess I’d better do what the man says, huh?”

“I thought you might feel that way.”

“Thank you – for giving me this chance – and everything.”

Kanzeon came to his side and gave him a long lingering kiss. Jiroushin coughed loudly.

“For luck,” she said. “Don’t you let him give you any shit. You won’t remember any of this, by the way.”

“Will I ever see you again?” He asked, slightly woozy from Kanzeon’s kiss

“Oh, I’d say that’s a safe bet,” she smiled.

“Nothing I like better than a good bet!” Gojyo replied. He took one last look at the beautiful lotus blossoms in the pool and he was gone.


Gojyo suddenly sucked in a deep lungful of air, and coughed a few times. He was dimly aware of his face hurting and a large weight pressing on his belly. He heard a lot of racket around him and was mildly irritated by it, but felt very sleepy and decided he would deal with it later.

A loud gasp issued from Gojyo, and Sanzo looked around the room and was momentarily mortified that everyone had seen the screaming, ranting fit he had just pitched. They all were staring at him in stunned amazement as he sat on the recently-dead man’s stomach, a disheveled and raving lunatic. Hakkai and Yaone immediately came to tend to Gojyo as Sanzo climbed off and attempted to compose himself, watching the kappa intently. Within minutes Gojyo’s breathing was nearly normal again, and his coma appeared to be substantially lighter.

“I’m stumped, Yaone – all I can figure is that the Western doctors don’t know a damn thing about youkai physiology – that the guy underestimated Gojyo’s ability to heal himself- guess I did, too .”

She patted his arm consolingly, “I think you are correct about the doctors, Hakkai. Those doctors have never studied us youkai because there was no money to be made from it, so there is very little about us in the medical literature. I believe Gojyo’s youkai half was able to heal his human one, basically.”

Hakkai looked over at the priest, who was now sitting again in his post in the windowseat, smoking and trying to regain a little of his shattered dignity.

“I also think he was lacking the proper motivation to get well, and our Sanzo gave it to him,” Hakkai said with a twinkle now back in his deep green eyes that had been missing for quite some time.

Sanzo blushed and stubbed out his cigarette. He got up and went to the table and sat down by Goku.

“So just exactly when did you get so all-fired smart, monkey?”

Goku grinned at him widely , “I’ve had three good teachers.”

Sanzo tilted his head and looked at him for a few moments, appraisingly.

“Tch. If you say so. Hey, I’m hungry. Can’t a guy get some food around here?”

Goku cracked up. “Now that’s a switch! Sanzo is telling ME he’s hungry! Yes sir, I’m on it.” He got up and started taking orders for carry-out to be brought back to the room.


Later on after a good meal they all sat around the table in a fine collective mood. Gojyo was doing incredibly well. His breathing and pulse were nearly normal, and his color had already improved significantly. Hakkai guessed that if he continued like this, he would probably awaken in a day or so. He even ventured to guess that with the healing powers Gojyo was showing at this point there might be little or no permanent brain damage.

As they enjoyed their after-dinner tea and coffee, they dove into the pile of fortune cookies that had come with the meal.

Kougaiji went first. “Be prepared for extra energy,” he read.

“Ah now, Kou,” teased Doku, “you know you’re supposed to add ‘in bed’ at the end of it, right?”

“Nevermind,” said Kou, ”I can use that extra energy when I go after whatever bastard sent that damned shikagami.”

Goku went next. “Confidence isn’t something you get, it’s something you are.”

“Well,” said Hakkai, smiling at the saru, “I’d certainly say that sounds appropriate.”

He picked up one for himself.

“The loving-cup that once was broken now is mended.” He blushed and stammered, “My goodness, I can’t imagine what that one means…”

Yaone smiled sweetly and opened hers, “the quiet man knows all the answers.” She coughed a little and tried to act nonchalant.

There were two fortune cookies left on the table. “Go ahead, Sanzo, your turn,” Goku urged.

“Oh, alright, I guess I’ll get no peace until I do.” Feeling oddly superstitious, his hand hovered over the two for a second before he decided which one of the two to pick.

He opened it and read, “before you can see the light you have to deal with the darkness.”

He raised one eyebrow and carefully folded it and placed it in his pocket, thinking to himself it was something he didn’t ever want to forget.

“There’s one left,” Goku said, “that one must be Gojyo’s - read it Sanzo!”

After what his had said, Sanzo figured, what the hell? He opened the remaining cookie and looked at it, and shook his head unbelievingly. He laid it on the table for the group to read.

“Every exit is an entrance into new experiences.”


****************************


Dearest Yaone,

I greatly enjoyed your last letter – I am always so glad to see one of your letters in our box, and this one made me blush and smile with the romantic things you said about our encounter last month. I think it’s safe to say we both considered our mountain retreat a sweet success and I for one am very much looking forward to our next escape together.

I was not at all surprised to hear that Kougaiji was not able to find the originator of the shikigami, but I am relieved to hear that he and Goku managed to complete their trip to search for it without killing each other or getting injured in the process. Unfortunately if it was truly from someone determined to obtain the Maten Sutra I’m sure we will encounter them again sooner or later. From this point on we will be more wary, you can rest assured.

As you know, Dokugakuji has made several trips back here to visit with his brother, and they have had a wonderful time talking and making up for the years they have lost. It’s as if they never were estranged when you see them together now – it is really quite heartening.

Gojyo’s recovery is progressing incredibly fast, and Sanzo is relentless in working him through his daily therapies. As you know, his large motor functions were unaffected, only the fine motor skills and speech were affected. His speech has almost returned to normal now – he reads the newspaper to Sanzo everyday, which is quite a sight. Our nightly poker sessions seem to be helpful to him as well, but my suspicion is that that is just a clever ruse to get more winnings out of us. He certainly still remembers quite well how to bluff and even occasionally cheat!

He has recently taken up painting to help with his hand-eye coordination, and it turns out he has quite a natural talent for it. The gallery here in town likes his work well enough to have several of his paintings displayed in their window. Gojyo asked me to let me you know that he has painted special paintings for you, his brother, and Lord Kougaiji ,and that he will be giving them to you the next time he sees you. They are really quite special. I think you will all be pleased.

Goku has begun studying Business Administration through a distance-learning program I found through the local library. It can all be done by post, so he can maintain his studies even after we resume our journey. He is doing very well with it and enjoying it a great deal. We tease him that he should go into restaurant management so he can eat up all the profits. He really has become quite an impressive young man and we are all so proud of him, especially Sanzo. Also, Yaone, he wanted to know when Lirin would be coming with you or Doku on one of your visits! It seems our young man may be maturing in other ways as well – I for one, think they would be perfect for each other. Oh, those Houtou Castle Ladies!

Goku has enjoyed having his old sparring partner back, and they have worked quite hard. He has acted as an excellent physical therapist for Gojyo, who was so weak from all that time spent confined to bed. They have both had to proceed very slowly and carefully, but Goku has been very patient and dedicated, and I think they both have have truly enjoyed the process, difficult as it has been. When Sanzo and I watched their session today we agreed Gojyo is very close to being back to his former level of strength and ability

If Gojyo continues to progress as he is now Sanzo and I feel we should be able to resume our journey westward again in another two weeks or so. Strangely enough, all four of us are beginning to feel restless to resume our travels. The biggest reason for this, as you know, is that the original reason for our journey continues to be a pressing concern- we hear more dire tales of youkai uprisings and mayhem with each passing day.

But it also seems that our experiences on this journey have infected us all with a bit of of travel fever, and even Hakuryu seems to be chafing at all these quiet housebound days and is itching to hit the road. We are all restless and ready to move on now and see what new horizons lie beyond this town and what new adventures await us. I think it is safe to say that none of us want to live on the road for the rest of our lives. But for now, we have much more to do and many paths to traverse before we leave the road behind us for good. I once read a Western poem that I think applies quite well to the four of us as collectively: “… but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.”

So, my sweet Yaone, the question then becomes: where does this leave you and me? Spending that time in our mountain retreat, just the two of us, was pure heaven for me. Certainly it was a big step for both of us, and I don’t mind telling you now, I was more than a little bit nervous beforehand. But it was so enchanting to escape together, surrounded by all the wildness of nature, and have you all to myself. I admit I felt somewhat out of practice in all things romantic, but you evoked long-buried aspects of my spirit. Thanks to your gentle grace the meeting of our minds and our bodies was almost alchemical in its magic, and any fears I had vanished like morning mist. It was as mystical as the faraway stars and as effortless and natural as breathing.

I know it is too much to hope for, that you might wait for me while we wander off into the sunset like four knights-errant. You are a beautiful young woman who has every right to move on in favor of a more stable gentleman with better prospects than mine. I can only promise you that until our journey ends I will do everything in my power to bring us together as often as possible, Yaone, I know I will be missing you so much.

My fondest wish is that when the Sanzo-ikkou’s mission is completed, you and I will be reunited, and never be separated again. More than that, I am hoping that at that time you might consider doing me the greatest honor of becoming my wife. I have learned that a love like ours is a rare and precious thing, my dear one, and if you would accept me as your husband at that time, I would spend the rest of my life cherishing you and this gift of love we have together. You need not give me a response now, I only wanted you to know that my intention towards you is ultimately marriage, Yaone, if you will have me, and as soon as our journey ends.

I look forward to your next letter, and count the hours ‘til our next meeting. I promise we will find some days alone together before the Sanzo-ikkou takes to the road again. Count on it.

Your loving and faithful,

Hakkai

p.s. I am attaching a song that I heard recently which reminded me of you. It says much more eloquently than I can how I feel about you and our relationship. I hope you enjoy it.


ANIMATE Rush (Peart, Lifeson, & Lee)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgZuMf5DwU8
POLARIZE ME
SENSITIZE ME
CRITICIZE ME
CIVILIZE ME
COMPENSATE ME
ANIMATE ME
COMPLICATE ME
ELEVATE ME

Goddess in my garden
Sister in my soul
Angel in my armor
Actress in my role

Daughter of a demon-lover
Empress of the hidden face
Priestess of the pagan mother
Ancient queen of inner space

Spirit in my psyche
Double in my role
Alter in my image
Struggle for control

Mistress of the dark unconscious
Mermaid of the lunar sea
Daughter of the great enchantress
Sister to the boy inside of me

My counterpart - my foolish heart
A man must learn to rule his tender part
A warming trend - a gentle friend
A man must build a fortress to defend

A secret face - a touch of grace
A man must learn to give a little space
A peaceful state - a submissive trait
A man must learn to gently dominate