Everything I Want

Part 5

They were releasing me today but Duo wouldn’t be here until latter so I amused myself by just looking out the window. I had already promised not to escape, and though my body was still in excellent condition, I wasn’t as skinny as I used to be.

Duo had seen me eyeing the bars on the window earlier and had practically attacked me. I had almost broken his fool neck. Stupid baka.

I snorted softly and stopped short. I looked down and noticed my right hand smoothing over the square silver pendent with a small amethyst in the center. Po had handed it to me after everyone had left, saying it was on me when I came in.

I brought it out into the sunlight to examine it better. It was relatively small and had no decorations on it but it had my heart thumping all the same.

I heard the door open and quickly shoved the necklace inside my borrowed shirt, making sure it was covered. It was strange the way my body reacted instinctivly like that, almost as if it was ashamed of something…

“Ready, Heero?” Duo’s voice sounded chipper from the doorway.

I turned on my perch by the window and stood.

Duo just smiled in that way of his that I just knew was fake and threw and arm around my shoulders, “Okay, buddy, lets get you home.”

…

When we reached Duo’s house I took a good look at it. Two stories, made out of brick and a tiny perimeter fence along the outside by the sidewalk.

It was strange. Duo’s house. With a fence. Huh.

I sensed Duo behind me and turned my head to look at him out of the corner of my eye.

He noticed me watching and smiled. “All your stuff is already inside, Heero-buddy.”

I had to keep from arching an eyebrow at him. It had already been explained to me that I had been living with Duo for a couple weeks before my accident. It made me wonder at my motivations, or his.

I settled for a grunting noise. He always seemed to interpret those without my help.

I saw a flicker of motion by his right eye and knew it for the flinch it was and my stomach dropped to the ground. I felt physically sick. But then he was smiling again and walking up the pathway toward the house but the feeling stayed with me. Maybe I should have stayed in the hospital. Clearly something was wrong with me.

I followed him, about half a step behind his right shoulder, eyes scanning every direction, searching for something the others said hadn’t been there for years. And again, something nagged at me, like I was forgetting something.

I snorted. Of course I was forgetting something, like the past six years.

Duo glanced over his shoulder at me, still smiling that jester’s smile of his as he turned the door and pushed it open. “Home sweet home, right, Heero?”

He stood opening the door, waiting for me to enter before him but I froze for a moment, unsure. Something told me I didn’t want him at my back, didn’t want to go inside.

He noticed my hesitation and that smile faltered and my stomach started constricting again. Fuck it, I’m calling Sally the next time I get, this needs to stop. Now.

Duo gave me a weak cheer, “C’mon, Heero-buddy, ain’t nothin gunna bite ya.”

I glared at him and he seemed to shrink for a minute.

I growled at myself and ran a hand through my hair, cursing under my breath and slowly made my way over the threshold. Something shocked me, a feeling of vertigo and being wet, my heart close to bursting and a familure armed draped over my shoulders, voice loud in my ears.

“Ro!” Duo’s voice was in a panic, arms wrapped around my middle, face close to mine.

I looked into those eyes and made a weak grasp toward my amulet that hung around my neck another memory rolling over me, dragging me under. Cracking stone under my feet, air filled with sharp spices and baying animals with a slight breeze bringing in the smell of salt from the Ocean. And there, hanging from a peddlers stall violet like I’ve only seen once before glimmering at me. I reach for it-

“Heero!”

I catch a glance at his eyes and they somehow reel me back, ground me in reality as I lay halfway on the foyer floor with Duo half propped on top of me, keeping us both from falling.

“Greece.”

Duo gave me a half horrified look mingled with relief. “What?”

My head was pounding but my mouth wouldn’t stop. “Greece. I was in Greece for-for something.” I grimaced and put a hand against my forehead, my headache was back.

Duo face was still worried as he leaned closer to me, trying to situate us in a more conferrable position. “Ssh. It’ s okay, Heero, you don’t have to-”

“I remember being wet, a duffle bag, you dragging me inside…” I groaned and leaned my aching forehead into his body. Maybe he could make the pain stop.

I heard him hiss air between his teeth and monitored his heart beat with my ear pressed against his chest. He started to laugh, jarring me a little and I winced.

“Yeah, you were soaked when you showed up, right in the middle of the rain cycle too.” He chuckled again and seemed to wrap around me like a warm blanket.

I sighed. Something in me smiled and felt warm, content, like it never wanted to let go. I wondered if this was the feeling people felt when they talked about ‘Home’.

“Duo?”

Both our head shot up at once and turned toward the voice. I felt my gut churn.

Hilde.

“Hilde.”

I darted a quick glance at Duo’s face and saw happiness, a small, quirky smile, and that light in his eyes. I wanted to be sick all over again.

“What are you doing?” She eyed us suspiciously, arms crossed over her small chest, tank top ridding high on her tight abdominan.

I was suddenly aware of the position we were in. Duo kneeling on the floor, his upper body curved over me. And me, with my face curved into his chest, cradled in his arms. We probably looked like a pair of lovers. That would probably explain that hint of dislike in her eyes when she looked at me. It hinted at something deeper, darker, and more violent.

Suddenly I knew why I hadn’t wanted to enter the house. If I did I would have to face this. The reality of the future. Duo wasn’t mine. He wasn’t that clingy, impetuous, annoying, laughing, chatter box of a Shinigami anymore. He didn’t need me, didn’t want me. I got a feeling of why I had left. I wasn’t needed here, maybe I never had been. I looked up at Hilde and felt my heart clench. Maybe I had just been a stand in, a substitute until he could get back here. To her.

I shoved out of his arms and quickly made it past Hilde, ignoring Duo’s stuttering voice behind me saying he would show me to my room.

I felt their eyes. I couldn’t take it. I had to run. “I remember.” And I disappeared upstairs, welcoming the blackness of the room that I felt I had done this many times before.