Je Ne Regrette Rien

AN: I'm not sure what to say about this chapter.... other than it was longer than I intended.... I just couldn't seem to stop T^T.

I was listening to 'Je Ne Regrett Rien' (Cinema Bizarre) on repeat.... well... it is the theme for this fic... but honestly it should be banned from my playlist if long-ish chapters are the result....

Suggested Listening: Not For You by The Juliet Dagger; Better Than Drugs by Skillet (I rather like this song, it kind of describes their relationship...)

Chapter 4: Seized

~Matt~

“What did you...” I started to say. The words caught in my throat and I couldn't speak. Mello was... had been... abducted? By the Organization? The same one I had only just escaped death from? The one we all thought we could take down now that the leaders were disposed of?

“Mello should have been working on his case all day, they shouldn't have been able to..” L's fingers slowed just the slightest bit before slowing to a more normal pace.

“It was a trap.”

“A trap?” I questioned when he didn't immediately elaborate.

“The case was fake. It was something put together by the Organization in order to kidnap the both of you.” both of us? Oh no, please tell me he didn’t-

“When did Mello figure it out?” my fists were clenched by my sides and my eyes were trained on the back of L's skull.

“Almost immediately.” my shoulders slumped. That was why he had been so insistent on me going to England.

“While I agreed with certain parts of his plan, I also stated that he should tell you. Though that might have defeated the purpose of keeping you safe.”

My eyes narrowed. “You knew? You let him do this even after everything that has happened to him in just the past few months? What precautions did you take, tell me there was nothing that could have been done to prevent this?!” I was almost shouting at the end, and I was a little ashamed of myself.

I should have told Mello no, put my foot down, then maybe...

“No one was watching him. He was to call at least once a day. We couldn't trust the police with this... they were not cooperating as much as I’d hoped. ” L's voice hadn't faltered even once, though his typing had slowed to a crawl.

“No one? You let him go against the Organization, the Organization that is still killing detectives all over the world, without so much as one person watching out for him?” I didn't doubt Mello's skills since he'd been in the mafia, but these people were different than the mafia. They were worse.

“We were watching, as much as we could, through the airport security…”

I could feel heat rise to my cheeks, the sudden urge to go over there and attack him almost leaving me breathless.

“If he dies because of this, because of you, so help me L I will make Kira look like a saint.” I spat at him. I never let my anger get the best of me, I was usually calm where Mello was the emotional volcano, but I slipped. I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't deal withit right now.

I turned and stormed out of the room, it was leave or get into a fight I knew I’d lose, but not before hearing 'I have sent everything to your e-mail... I’m sorry.'

I grit my teeth and didn't pay any mind to Watari as I slammed my door shut again. I should have at least taken the coffee I had asked for, I was pissed at L and Mello, not him. Mello.

I shut my eyes tight. That fucking idiot. Always hiding things from me... important things...

I stopped my thoughts there. There were things that needed to be read over, I probably didn't even have all of the picture. I might never... no. Mello would tell me everything when we got him back.

Tugging open my laptop case I quickly powered it up and went into my e-mail. If L said he sent it, then it was sent. In it was everything he couldn't, or didn't know how to say. As well as audio from their conversations. It honestly shouldn't have surprised me that L recorded all phone calls. Really....

It was a bit of a shock to actually hear Mello's voice and it made my chest ache something fierce.

I listened to their conversation while reading through the same information, only more elaborate, on the e-mail.

It made sense now, why Mello had me act as his partner in that case. And... part of me agreed with the steps he'd taken. But the rest of me... didn't know whether to be pissed at him or floored that he cared so much to do this. This stupid and dangerous plan, that ultimately failed. Miserably.

They were both right, I wouldn't have left had I known... and then we both would have been caught. That much I would admit. But why couldn't they have told the police to keep an eye on him, at least at the airport? Surely they could have done something?

Or would have gotten him killed already?

Lowering my head to my hands I took a deep breath. They'd had him for hours ... they hadn't even had me for that long and I'd been cut up. I felt the tears slip free of my shut eyelids but didn't care.

Gripping my hair in frustration I snarled. Where he was strong I was weak, and that was the problem. He was always protecting me, always getting hurt because of it. And I was sick of being so god damned useless!

A knock on the door stopped me from pushing the laptop off the bed. “Matt?” I sighed and went to the door and opened it, I didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment but I wouldn't ignore Watari... it wasn't his fault.

“I thought you might still want a cup of coffee, it may help a bit.” I smiled weakly at the older man and gently took the cup from him. “Thank you.” he seemed like he wanted to say more to me, but thought better of it and instead inclined his head and slowly began to walk to where L and Near were.

I looked down and stared at the brown liquid in my hands; my face reflected in the shimmering surface. Everything in my expression was blank, except my eyes, I knew my eyes would always show what I was feeling.

It was why I had let my hair get so long after I had changed my appearance, to hide them.

If I was going to work on saving Mello, I couldn't worry about what the others saw. I couldn't have them withholding things from me, because I had no doubt that L would if he thought I would work faster without knowing.

“Watari?” the older man stopped and turned around, having not gone all that far, as though he'd expected me to ask him something.

“Could I possibly ask a favor from you?” Mello may not appreciate this favor, because I knew they would end up becoming a permanent fixture once again, but he'd get over it.

Watari had looked surprised, not greatly, at my request but assured me everything would be taken care of. I nodded and thanked him. Really it wasn't something monumental, just something I felt I needed. Call it a security blanket if you will... like my cigarettes and Mello’s chocolate.

Near and L could complain all they wanted, but I was smoking in that damn room.

Quickly grabbing my laptop I headed back to the computer room, well what I had now named as the computer room. L was still typing, though one of his hands would stray occasionally to the plate of sweets off to his left. And Near... well he was being Near.

“What have you got so far?” I needed to know exactly how bad the situation was. I knew how it happened but I didn't know anything about what we, or L, currently knew.

“These are the security feeds from just before Mello was supposed to get to his flight.” I closed the gap between us and leaned forward to get a better view. L had pulled up the surveillance and they were showing Mello exiting the airport Starbucks wearing a scowl and picking irritably at his leather top. My heart skipped for a moment at seeing him.

From just that I would assume he spilled something on himself or someone else had. It was probably the latter as Mello took care regarding his leather. He entered the bathroom. Not even two minutes later a man entered the bathroom with him, but there was nothing unusual about him; aside from the fact that his face seemed to be avoiding the cameras.

It was probably just a coincidence, but I was sure L was checking into it as far as he could wither way.

Another five minutes passed and only that man walked out, Mello was still no where to be seen. L fast forwarded the tape to around twenty minutes later when a janitor wheeling a cart went in. Again the face couldn't be seen.

“This was when I lost Mello's cell phone signal.” only a few minutes later the janitor and cart left, not nearly enough time to have been cleaning the bathroom; especially in an airport. Mello's body had been smuggled out in the fucking cleaning cart.

“I assume you have already attempted, numerous times, to call him since then. As well as kept watch on the video feed?” I saw L nod and I rubbed my face with a sigh. I would have been right there with him had I not left almost a half day earlier. Fuck!

“Any leads?” L was silent for a long time and I had assumed he wasn't going to answer me, though that would have been more than enough of an answer for me.

“...no. I cannot seem to identify either of those men. Assuming that it isn't simply the same man.” then that was it. We were going to be scrambling for information while Mello was in the hands of a fanatical organization, one that had nearly succeeded in killing us both hardly a month ago.

Wonderful. Justfucking wonderful.

But I wasn't going to just stand around and bitch, I was going to be useful. I was going to do what I did best. Analyze. I sat down on the right side of L and plugged my laptop into one of the other computers.

My laptop on its own didn't have all the necessary recourses, but all my programs were on it, and I didn't have time to download them to L's system. I set the coffee on the table next to my laptop, though I had yet to take a sip.

I pulled up the airports surveillance and backtracked to the time where Mello was walking into the bathroom and paused it. His expression was clear, as I zoomed in; he was irritated, pissed off even.

He wouldn't have had that exact expression if he had been the one to spill the coffee. I needed to find video of inside that Starbucks. I knew they had to have one, they did for just about every angle in the airport, except the most important like the bathroom.

My fingers danced across the keyboard and it made me realize just how long it had been since I’d had any cases to do. Well besides the Detective Purge, but just about every detective had taken that one on.

Finding it, I went to the time when Mello should have been inside. I had gone a little too far as it showed him in line ordering. He sat down at one of the tables and picked at the huge muffin and drank his coffee. I thought I would have to skip over some pieces of it but he finally got up.

L looked at me as I tsked at his disposal of the muffin. That was when a man practically ran into Mello and the coffee was spilt on his vest. “L, what are the odds of the same person avoiding the cameras twice, and happening to be the one to cause Mello to go into the bathroom?” L looked thoughtful.

“As well as go into the bathroom just after him, without having purchased anything from the store he went inside?”

“I would say the odds are slim. And if his face avoided the other cameras, then I would say that he is our suspect, our only link to the Organization.” at that hint, I followed the mans steps, from the time he walked out of the bathroom and until he went into an employee only door.

The janitor from the tape walked out with no one having gone in, or come out after. I traced all his activities then, from the moment he arrived at the airport to the last footage of him taking the cleaning cart outside.

“How is it possible not to have any footage of his face? With all of the cameras, you'd think one would get him.” I growled.

“Someone will have seen him, and I will see to it that anyone that even remotely walked passed him is questioned. However it will be difficult for us to describe him...” L put his thumb to his lips with a small sigh; though he was still typing with his other hand.

If I didn't know Mello so well, or at least in regards to his leather, I probably wouldn't have even checked the feed. After all, he could have spilled the coffee himself.

There was no reason for me to do the same things as L was, or Near for that matter, so I stuck with reviewing the tapes, hoping for something more to show up. Instead of skipping through the feed as I had before, I watched all of it.

The guy talked with no one in person, though he had pulled out his cell phone briefly. He had arrived roughly twenty minutes after Mello had, if he had taken any longer to get through security then Mello would have made it.

I paused Mello's figure on the screen and stared at his black and white form.

Mello, where are you?

“I take it from your expression that you have found nothing else of value?” Near questioned me, his fingers twisting a lock of white hair. I nodded.

“Perhaps if Mello wasn't so impulsive or vain he wouldn't be in his situation?” I narrowed my eyes. Maybe, while Mello was gone, I would take his place in hating Near. Just a little.

“At least Mello actually does something other than sitting on his ass.” It was true. Near merely used people; ordered them around, playing with them like he did with his toys. He was a thinker while Mello was a man of action. Near figured things out and sat back while Mello took the steps to solve the case on his own.

Before any sort of argument could really be started Watari came into the room with replacement sweets.

“Matt, I was able to procure the item you requested. I left the package on your bed.” I stared at him for a moment before a small grin broke free. That was far sooner than I had expected. At best I thought a few days before I actually got them.

“Thank you.” he smiled kindly at me while L merely watched our interaction with slight curiosity, though he was still thankfully more focused on the task at hand.

“Matt, you do not need to keep their hours. You haven’t eaten anything since you got here more than 12 hours ago. I suggest you take at least an hour off to eat and freshen up.” I clenched my teeth. I could be rude and tell him no, but after the rush job it wouldn't feel right.

He probably planned for that. And he was right, I was starving, and probably needed a shower... but Mello...

“I will inform you immediately if something arises.” L supplied helpfully around a mouthful, or rather forkful, of cake. I had a feeling he had another motive for getting me out of the room, probably concerning Near.

“Fine.” I said with a heavy sigh. Sad to say but there really was nothing I could do right now that they weren't already doing. They probably didn't even have enough to do.

“I'm taking a shower first.” I called out as I left the room, the only one needing to know was Watari, as I assumed he would insist on getting me food. It wouldn't matter if I protested. That was just the way he was, and had always been, even in my youth. Damn that made me sound old.

I found a brown package sitting on the bed but ignored it in favor of heading straight into the bathroom. I took a hot shower, which helped me to relax slightly, but didn't stay in it for long. I just couldn't stop thinking about Mello.

I padded barefoot out of the bathroom with only a towel around my waist. I heaved the suitcase onto the bed and unzipped it. I was shivering though I knew I shouldn’t be, I would probably regret it later but I was going to forgo my t-shirts. I hadn't packed many of them anyway.

I rifled through the top layer of clothes to get to the long sleeved ones I’d packed only to stare in surprise. My lips turned upwards into a grin as I shook my head. “Mello...” most of my shirts were now striped, like they used to be.

Mostly they were black and white and red and black, though I did see an odd purple and black one. At least there was nothing pink or yellow mixed in.

Ever since he'd found out who I was, and I’d stopped changing my appearance, he'd been slowly integrating things I used to like back into my wardrobe and daily life. Such as these striped shirts.

It looks like he finally got rid of everything non-striped, with the exception of my band t-shirts. I didn't mind so much, not at all actually, as I still loved stripes. Though it was amusing to see Mello doing things like this.

It made me wonder how long before he would start sneaking games into my stuff. I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my wet hair. Thinking about the blonde hurt. If we didn't get to him in time and he... I didn't know what I would do.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind for the moment, I tugged on a red and blacked striped shirt and yanked it lose from the pile. A soft thump made me glance down curiously; I hadn't packed anything breakable...

Something slim and silver peeked out from underneath a shirt so I pulled it out. It was Mello's laptop. Mello didn't have it with him? And when the hell had he packed this? Then again I didn't know about the shirts either...

But why wouldn't he have kept this?

Did he... expect something to go wrong? Or was it just some sort of precaution? I shook my head to clear myself of those thoughts. I would get no answers like this. The only one who had the answers to my questions, was Mello.

I tugged on the striped shirt and pulled a random, but clean, pair of jeans on afterwards. Quickly throwing on socks and shoes I sat heavily on the bed and turned my attention to the brown wrapped package. Opening it, I stared at the contents. Another way to hide myself.

My eyes were always too expressive...

Slipping on the goggles I picked up Mello's laptop and left the room.

It appeared that Watari had brought my meal to the computer room, and for that I was grateful. I wouldn't have wanted to eat anywhere else, especially not the dinning hall. Though I doubted they wanted my presence, or L's for that matter, known.

Watari said nothing about my appearance, though he did give me a knowing glance, and neither L nor Near had looked away from their computers so it was hard to tell if they’d even noticed.

I ate quickly and when I was done I hooked Mello's laptop up to L's system. I checked the entire computer, but there were no messages left, hidden or otherwise. That meant that, at the very least, it had been a precaution on Mello's part.

The both of us had vast amounts of data on our computers, things that would be deadly in the hands of the Organization. Though even if they had gotten a hold of one of them, the location of L and Whammys would have still been a mystery to them.

If I knew anything about Mello, no matter what they did to him, he would never give that information to them. And that was what, perhaps, scared me the most. He could be an inch from death and still not tell them.

I shivered at the thought.

I went on searching for anything that might formulate a lead for us, much the same as L and Near were doing. Really... all we were doing was filling up time, all we could do was wait.

For three days this went on.

Three.

There was no new information, nothing, absolutely nothing, to be found. It was frustrating. Half the time I wanted nothing more than to take something and throw it across the room, but unlike Mello, I controlled the urge.

It should have been the first sign that something was going to happen.

“Watari turn on the television....” I looked away from the computer screen at the sound of his voice. There was something odd about it. It didn't bode well.

“Any specific channel?” Watari asked as he switched the large flat screen on. “No... It’s on every channel, every network, all across the world.”

The second the picture flared to life I sucked in a breath. The picture was completely blank with the exception of one word. 'Organization'

“How long has this been-” the words caught in my throat as the image changed. The video images were dark, the lighting in the room poor, but what was happening was all too clear. Mello, naked and beaten, was in the middle of having his head shoved in a tank of water.

They were torturing him, and all the world could see.

After a time he was pulled free and held in place as he spat water from his mouth and gasped for air. His skin was bruised purple in some areas and he had, from what I could see, various open cuts on his back and shoulders.

I couldn't tear my eyes away, no matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't look away.

They hardly gave him any time to rest before they were shoving his head under again; he wasn't fighting this time. He had taken a large breath beforehand, but I could see it leave his body far too quickly than it should have. His lungs just couldn't hold it in.

He started to struggle again as he began to suffocate. It was... horrible to watch. I felt sick.

And just when it looked like all the fight had left him, and they were going to drown him, he was thrown to the floor.

The camera was still pointing to the tank so he couldn't bee seen, but his coughs and gasps were beautiful to hear. They hadn't killed him, not yet. I could hear frantic typing and knew I should be joining them in trying to trace the signal. But at a quick glance, L was only half paying attention to the computer.

The way the gloved hand came and angled the camera made it seem like they were using a web came.

His head was lifted none too gently by his hair so that his face was clearly seen by the camera.

“Now state your name for the camera, detective.” Mello's head lulled foreword a little and his discolored hair fell into his eyes, but did nothing to hide his face.

“M-my name is...” my heart lurched in my chest, had they... had they broken him already? They couldn't have... Mello was too strong... right?

“...none of your fucking business.” I didn't know whether I felt like laughing or hitting him. Antagonizing his captors should not have been on his to do list. At all. And yet... it showed he was still defiant, despite his bad treatment.

Mello was still Mello.

The man holding him up hadn't been amused though. He roughly smacked him across the face and Mello's lip was split. The hooded figure, a man if we went by his physique, turned to the camera.

“This detectives name is Mello. He is one of L's successors. Through him we will obtain L's location. We will continue to air these sessions, live or otherwise, until L is found or he dies. We will rewrite justice.”

The hand, a second person in the room, reached over to turn the webcam off. Mello looked directly at the webcam and mouthed something. It was too quick for me to catch it. The moment afterwards the video feed cut off and the normally scheduled programs came back on, as though they had been on the entire time.

Mello would not be able to be a private detective after this, not with his possible succession known. And for the very same reason, he probably couldn't be named L.

But Mello was alive.

And somewhere on that feed might just be the clue to his location. We finally had something to go on, but I had to wonder, was the cost worth it?

-End Seized-

AN: so how'd everyone like this? Um yeah...... sorry about updating so late… heh.