Levi's Recollections
Butt Buddies
Captain Hange Zoe. One of the smartest yet somehow one of the dumbest women I have ever met. She was reckless but strong. Erwin warned me that she was a bit of an impulsive mess, but a reliable one who can always finish the job. She was something to be admired if she wasn’t such a crazy glasses wearing freak that got all drooly over titans, and since I was a captain now too I’d be dealing with her a lot more.
I was sitting in the mess hall eating dinner when she slinked right beside me along with her assistant.
“I came to have a celebratory lunch with our new captain.”
“Thanks.”
“Nice to finally speak to you Captain Levi,” her assistant Moblit spoke.
“Has your squad been assigned yet?”
“Tomorrow.”
“It’s exciting, huh?” She cut in with a big grin. “You and the commander seem close since he’s made you captain so quickly. It was the right choice though. With you leading the scouts we could start catching some fine specimens.”
I chewed. “Specimens?”
“That’s right. I’m trying to get the commander to agree to my whims of catching a titan, so I can learn more about them up close. He doesn’t understand how important this discovery can be to our progress. If it were just me asking then I know he’ll deny it, but if two of his captains share the same idea then maybe he’ll consider it, and Mike obviously won’t agree to it.” She scoffed.
“We’re barely able to take them down and you want to try to capture one? You really are batshit crazy.”
“You’re close to the commander maybe you can get him on my side…” her glasses reflected, and an annoying smile spread across her face. “I see you have bite marks all over you and they’re too small to come from a titan.”
“What are you getting at, four eyes?”
“If you and the commander are butt buddies now then maybe you can use your alluring charms to persuade him to my cause!”
“Captain Hange! T-that’s highly insensitive!” Her assistant yelled.
This bitch…
Even if I was interested in her request, I knew he’d say no. I finished my meal and got up.
“Me and Erwin aren't buddies.” I said and walked away.