The Calling

This bites. Why do I have to have a meeting with that priest? I mean, yeah I heard of him from some of the women in town. He was asking about me. Wonder why. I finally got up off my ass and went to see what all of this was about. Okay, after I lit a cigarette and gave my most erotic glance to of of the women in the bar. Hey, if I've gotta be somewhat "moral" in the face of a high priest, I'm gonna have some something lined up that's entirely the opposite.

What's with that kid that hangs around with him? Some screwey assed apprentice, I guess. If I didn't know he was a priest, my thoughts would think that they were...lovers. Gah! I hate to use that when I'm referring to two guys. There's so many women out there that need...satisfaction. The guys shouldn't worry about satisfying their...interests. The women are the ones that make the most interesting sounds in the bedroom. Yeah, I'm an obsessed, guy but if I've got to be obsessed about something, babes is the way to go. I don't mind a bit using the old line "If women kill me, I don't mind dying." Be a beautiful way to go, though...Damn, I've got to get out of this meeting as soon as I can...

"All right, priest. Make this quick. I don't exactly have a free schedule, if you fo wha what I'm sayin'," I said as I sat across
from him. The monkey leaned on the chair and watched me. "What the hell is your problem, ape?"

"I ain't a ape!" he cried and the priest held up his hand.

"Enough, Goku. Gojyo Sha, I believe you have some information that would be of interest to me," he said as he took out a package of cigarettes.

"Gojyo. We're pretty formal, here, High Priest Sanzo. But, I'll give you a
light, if that's what you want."

Sanzo greatfully took the lighter from me. I think smoking is the only thing we've got in common. He lit the cigarette and deeply inhaled the nicotine. He tossed the lighter back to me and I grinned.

"Hey Sanzo, can I eat something?" Goku asked.

"Goku, I want to get a confirmation. You can quit bitching about your stomach for that long," Sanzo said and I le bac back and placed his feet on the table.

"Sounds like a father and son argument. Woah. Put that thing away. I didn't come here to get my face blown off. The only thing I like blown is..."

"I didn't come here to talk about your nightly conquests, although you've done a great deal of them as I see by your reputation."

"Doesn't matter. The only time I talk about what I've done is to my women. So ask me what you wanted to ask so I can go out and find me some. I'm afraid my red light is quite bright today."

"What light?" Goku asked and I looked at him. Such a dumbass ape. I'd never want that kid around when I was trying to...seduce the ladies.

"Maybe one day you'll find out, monkey."
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Man, that's a babe. Too bad I'm stuck with High and Mighty and Monkey Boy. Yeah, she looks like she needs some male companionship.

"You're not listening," Sanzo said and I glanced at him as I pulled out another cigarette. My fifth since I sat down to listen to him but hell, who's counting?

"You got a summons from a temple. You're worried about the youkai or should I use the simplistic term demon?" I asked and the holy man shrugged his shoulders. You know, he drinks an awful lot of beer for a holy man. I wonder if he partakes in pleasures of the flesh. Now THERE's a way to get pretty intimate with young virgins. I
wonder how hard it is to become a priest? I can see it all now...

~~~~~"Hello beautiful young woman."

"Oh Father Gojyo, I have a confession to make!"

"You do? Well, why don't you come into the confessional, sit on my lap and tell me all about it? Oh, to purge your sins, it might be a good idea to take your clothes off first."~~~~~~~~~

.....Yeah. I could score pretty big if I had the robes like he has.

"Use whichever. I don't care. There hasn't been a lot of movement but I was wondering if you've sensed anything...unusual?" the priest asked and that boy of his moaned.

"Sanzo..." he begged and I angrily threw him a piece of fruit.

"Here. You shouldn't let dumb animals starve, Priest Sanzo," I saidand Sanzo looked slightly amused.

"Goku will never starve. He can be quite devious when it comes to food. That fruit will keep him quiet for awhile," he said and I watched the kid stuff his face like some kind of chipmunk.

"I hope so. The only people I like to make a lot of noise is my women. Speaking of which...."

"All right. I'll let you retire but if you sense anything out of the ordinary, please let me know."

"There's nothing out of the ordinary in my bedroom. I don't share it with a monkey. See ya."

I threw my lighter up in the air and caught it as I walked off. I put my hands in my pockets and sighed. It felt so good to be free of the morals of a priest...or I guess the lack of them in Sanzo's case....Well whatever. I had more important things to worry about now. Like choosing the lucky babe that would share my bed that night...
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Man what was up with that guy? Why did he keep giving strange looks to those girls?

"Sanzo...what was with that guy? I mean, he seemed a little...freaky," I said as I pulled off my shirt. Sanzo lit a cigarette and picked up a paper. He sure likes to read...Wonder why?

"I'm afraid he's quite a playboy," Sanzo replied as he put on his reading glasses. "I don't know why I had to seek him out, though. He didn't give me any specifics on anything. Well, nothing besides his personal life."

"He looks like a cockroach. I mean come on, what's with that hair of his? Hey Sanzo...?"

"What?"

"I'm still hungry."

"It is eleven at night. You're going to have to wait."

Hey...what's that smell? All right. I smell food. God, I'm so hungry. Good thing I haven't taken my clothes off. Okay, I just
took my shirt off but I meant my other clothes. Like my pants... I've gotta get some food inside of me before I can sleep at Sanzo's side. Sanzo may be the only one I feel safe around but a guy's gotta eat.

"Where are you going, Goku?" he asked.

"I smell something cooking and I'm going to get me some. See ya," I said and left the room before he could protest. I know I'll probably get reprimanded for it later tonight but when it's a decision between punishment and food, I'll always choose food. Hell, who wouldn't? Well, I know one person who wouldn't. That freaky fiery headed cockroach. What's with him and women anyway? You sure as hell can't eat them. But...I guess they can cook. Maybe that's why he likes them so much. Yeah! I'll get a whole roomful of girls and they'll cook for me all the time. Man! That would be SOO
awesome!

Speaking of awesome, that food smells SOOO good! I just hope that whoever is making it is in a sharing mood. I am like so hungry. I mean that piece of fruit that kappa gave me wasn't enough to quiet my hunger pains. I swear I'm gonna pass out one of these days from hunger. Then Sanzo won't laugh at me. Speaking of laughing, I hear a girl. I also hear that weird guy's voice. Is he the one cooking at this time of night? I would never have thought that kappa could cook.

"I ordered late night room service. Just to kinda...soften the night up. I mean if we're gonna have a night of....fun, we need our strength. Just have some wine while I get things ready," he was saying as I crept up beneath the window. I peered inside and glanced at the two. Yeah, it was that kappa and some woman. They both weren't dressed...what's up with that? But, what really caught my eye was the tray of food sitting on the table. Man, it looked so good. Rice and tofu and beef....I just HAD to have it.

"Gojyo...." the woman said as I climbed into the room and crept over to the table.

"Shh. No words now, love. Especially not from someone that looks almost like a goddess," he said as the woman watched in fear as the tray moved. I wasn't planning on scaring her but I was so damned hungry and everythelseelse was closed and...

"There's something in here..."

He spun around just as I leapt out of the window, stuffing my face with what was on the tray. Ah. Food. It was such a sweet taste in my mouth. I heard him yelling as I made my way back to Sanzo.

"You are SO dead, you filthy dumbass ape! Just wait until I see you tomorrow! I swear I'll kill you!" he yelled and I closed the door, gasping for breath. Sanzo approached me and lay a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not even going to ask what you did. I'm sure I'll hear about it tomorrow. Come on, Goku. Let's get to bed," he said as he pulled off his shirt. He watched me for a moment then blew out the light. I then fully understood what he wanted and I hastened to comply.