Trust

Trust5

It was all there between them. It had to be for this moment. Shuichi turned in the hall way that lead to the bedroom. Eiri paused. If memories could be photos, sit on the desk, this the one he\'d want. Shuichi smiling so brightly, a smile that took up half his face. Shirt off, shoulders sunburned, just loose gray shorts and sandy feet, Shuichi backed down the hall, hair shaking as he laughed. \"Eiri! Make love to me!\"

Shuichi had the most beautiful voice. Recordings, even though they sold millions didn\'t really capture it, Eiri decided. Along with the happy, very much alive man who was his lover, today, Eiri could see, as if it were a superimposed image, the battered and emotionally desperate boy in a sunflower dress and lipstick. They didn\'t have to be separate. The one did not represent the death of the other.

Eiri closed the distance between them, planted his hands on the doorframe, leaning just enough that golden eyes could look right into violet. Shuichi\'s giggle was so clean, so true to him, so deep into him, that Eiri felt as if Shuichi\'s laughter could ripple across his own soul, could reach to the boy he\'d been so many years ago, so lost and hurt. Lips brushing against Shuichi\'s ear as he spoke, kissing softly, even with his words, \"How do you do it, reach so fucking deeply into me, make me into the boy I was once?\"

Shuichi\'s fingers slipped under the untucked edges of Eiri\'s shirt, moving over pale skin, skin and body that time had passed over in some breath holding way. \"Eiri? I\'m just me, just who I am. Do you want me to be different?\"

Hoarse, voice low and razed by emotion, \"No. I want you just as you are, baka,\" he growled as he lifted Shuichi from his feet with one hand. One arm around Shuichi\'s waist, he held him close, carried him. \"Whatever you are for the world, be yourself for me. I need you,\" Eiri planted one knee on the bed and laid Shuichi back on it, arm still under him, pinning him with his body. \"I need you, Shuichi. I need you as if I\'ll never find my way back into the light without you.\"

\"Eiri,\" Shuichi purred, no more the innocent youth, the man just out of home, but wiser in ways than his lover, less weathered by time though, and the word, three sounds strung together like pink pearls, a spoken kiss, \"Eiri, I want you.\"

Eiri lifted him with that one arm under him, drew him further up into the bed. They made love; five or six times a week, if Shuichi wasn\'t on tour or too tired. There were so many ways to touch and pleasure a lover. There was one particular thing they had not done since Shuichi had dressed up like a flower girl and Eiri had found the bruises on his lover\'s body. Then they\'d coupled, joined, even though Shuichi cried in pain and held on for dear life, and Eiri had died inside to do it. Nine months later, they had not crossed that line again.

Shuichi had offered, begged, seduced, and Eiri had distracted, refused, firmly offered other ways to share pleasure. At first it had been Shuichi\'s fear that if he didn\'t, couldn\'t give that to Eiri that he\'d lose Eiri\'s love. Then it had been a fear that Eiri thought he was broken defiled, disgusting somehow. Nine months was too small a time to come so far forward, but this day had been special. Eiri kissed Shuichi\'s lips, sucked the lower one in between his teeth, licking at it as the smaller man purred, moaned, and wiggled out of his shorts.

Eiri had moved onto Shuichi\'s throat as a Shuichi moved on to unbuttoning his shirt, getting still more innocent than skilled fingers over skin that Eiri thought had turned to marble over the years. \"No, I don\'t want that.\"

Shuichi groaned and lifted his head to kiss, work over Eiri\'s ear. \"Okay, what do you want?\"

\"You take me.\"

Stillness. Shuichi fell back to the bed, and Eiri pulled his arm out from under Shuichi, one hand resting to either side of Shuichi\'s head. Now that was something they\'d never done. \"Eiri?\"

\"You heard me,\" Yuki Eiri said, lowering himself so they lay chest to chest. \"Do you want to?\"

Shuichi bit his lip, hooking one leg around Eiri\'s knee, as his fingertips reached up to slide across Eiri\'s blond eyelashes. \"You\'re crying.\"

\"I\'m scared.\" Eiri said, the most vulnerable moment of his adult life.

\"We don\'t have to. I\'m ready, really, for you to take me though.\"

Eiri drew a slow breath, and one teardrop fell on to Shuichi\'s cheek, rolled down into pink hair. \"No, I\'m ready and I\'ve waited longer. I\'ll talk you through it.\"

\"Okay, Eiri,\" Shuichi said, knowing that Eiri would be able to feel his erection through his pants. \"You talk me through it.\"

\"No one has,\" Eiri said, leaving unspoken the scary part, \"Not since America.\"

\"I like it when you touch me with your tongue,\" Shuichi suggested, offering.

\"Want to start with that,\" Eiri asked.

Shuichi nodded. \"Want to wash a little and I\'ll light some candles & warm up the oil?\"

Eiri nodded and rolled off the bed. \"Shower too. You\'ve got sea salt everywhere.\"

\"You\'re so mean!\" Shuichi teased, now on his hands and knees.

Shirt open, Eiri needed two steps to close back to Shuichi and catch his chin between his fingers, to kiss him firmly, controllingly. \"That mean enough for you?\"

Shiuchi melted, lay on his back, arms hanging over the edge of the bed, head too, as he watched Eiri walk towards the bathroom. \"Damn, how am I supposed to think, let alone shower after a kiss like that? I could just lay here and float for hours!\" If it had been anime, lavender hearts would have floated over Shuichi\'s head, he would have poured off the bed into a boneless pool of Shuichi

\"You\'ll find a way, if you want to get laid. Use the shower outside. I\'m using the on here.\" Eiri said, shutting the door, his voice too tender to really be angry.

The shower outside was cold, nothing more than a way to rinse sand off before going inside and Shuichi hopped from foot too foot, making little howling noises as he was being careful to wash every place. There were some parts of his body that never got used to cold water!

When he let himself back into the kitchen, he found a thick fluffy pink towel waiting for him. Slowly, drying off and chasing goosebumps, he went back to the bedroom.

Eiri had beat him back and now lay in the center of the bed, on the sheet with the rest of the covers folded and laid over the back of the computer chair. A candle burned on either nightstand. The small candle was warming the oil in their special little warmer thing. Eiri lay in the middle of the bed, a fact that Shuichi need to think about again, to get his mind around it.

Blond hair on black satin sheets, pale legs bent, spread wide, casting shadows over the golden hair around Eiri\'s soft cock. \"Oh, Eiri, if you know,\" Shuichi said, crawling onto the bed, on his hands and knees, leaving little drips of cold water that hadn\'t actually made him soft. \"If you don\'t want to.\"

\"Shuichi, I want to.\" It was said in a growling enforcer voice, the one Eiri got whe\'d \'d made up his mind to finish a story at three in the morning after being up trying for days. Which only made the doubt in his next words more painful for Shuichi, \"Unless you don\'t want to. Do you want me?\"

Shuichi knew that doubt, fear, and he soothed as best as he could by blowing on the inside of Eiri\'s thigh, down towards those shadowy blond curls around Eiri\'s privates. \"I want to, but you\'re going to talk me through it, right? I wouldn\'t do a thing until you tell me.\"

\"Touch my hair, there, you know my pubic hair,\" Eiri said, sounding younger and less sure of himself than Shuichi had ever heard him. \"With your fingers.\"

Kneeling between Eiri\'s bent knees, Shuichi let his fingers brush the top of Eiri\'s pubic hair, as soft as he\'d brushed his wet eyelashes. \"Like this?\"

\"Yes, but deeper, really touch, but don\'t touch my penis.\" Eiri grabbed a pillow and propped himself up more, fingers nervously combing into his damp blond hair.

Shiuchi buried his fingers then, separated damp wet pubic hair, and combed it up. \"It\'s very soft. It\'s so pretty, blond pubic hair. I wish mine was pink.\"

\"Yeah? No dying that. Think about getting bleach on your balls,\" Eiri laughed, imagining a screaming, howling Shuichi, yelling, \"My balls, my balls!\"

\"What are you imagining?\" Shuichi asked, curling blond pubic hair around his finger.

\"You don\'t want to know, just\'t \'t bleach your pubs\" Eiri said, smiling adoringly at Shuichi.

\"Wouldn\'t have to bleach yours to make themk. Ck. Can I kiss them?\"

\"Yes, kiss, but don\'t touch me,\" Eiri let his words fade off, expecting Shuichi to understand. \"You can dye me pink there, next time you\'re going to go for a concert and be gone a week.\"

Pubs held between his lips, Shuichi looked up, eyes wide with surprise, imagining his worst fear, Eiri with a female fan, the woman\'s eyes bugging out as she screams, \'You\'re pink down there!\' Laughter caught him making him spit out hair, except for one that got on his tongue.

\"What?\" Eiri snarled.

\"I\'ll tell you if you tell me,\" Shuichi offered, words mumbled as he chased one blond hair around in his mouth.

\"Maybe later,\" Eiri dodged, \"When you\'re done chasing my hair, stick your tongue up me.\"

The sheer naughty vulgarity of it made Shuichi\'s cock twitch, his belly tighten and he forgot about the hair, was back on his knees, fingers parting Eiri\'s cheeks as the blond shifted, offering himself.

The skin wasn\'t like Shuichi had expected. It was soft, smooth, folded over and gathered, tasting like Eiri, like Eiri\'s cheek or the back of Eiri\'s neck, only his tongue slipped easily inside his lover. It was warmer inside and tasted like soap, slightly bitter, like Eiri\'s weird French soap. Shuichi didn\'t pull away though, because he was afraid Eiri would think it was because of Eiri, not the soap, so Shuichi just close his eyes, his forehead resting against Eiri\'s soft scrotum, and thrust his tongue deep into the man he loved more than he could ever put into a song.

Eiri\'s fingers caressed his hair, oblivious to any dark roots that might be there, caressing right into Shuichi\'s heart and soul. \"Oh, that does feel good,\" Eiri said, comfortable. \"Stop now.\"

Shuichi pulled back, licking, once at Eiri\'s ass, before Eiri tensed and Shiuchi realized he hadn\'t been told it was okay t tha that. \"Sorry.\"

\"Is okay,\" Eiri said, but Shuichi could hear the tension. He waited, doing nothing, just waiting.

\"Sit up and put oil on yourself,\" Eiri instructed, holding the warmed ceramic bowl of oil on his bare belly. \"I want to watch you stroke yourself.\"

\"Okay,\" Shuichi said, dipping his fingers right into the oil, which dripped over Eiri\'s belly, weighed down a few blond hairs. It made Shuichi moan as he trailed oily fingers down his own cock. He wasn\'t as big as Eiri and that had given him issues for a while, but in the end, like he didn\'t care if Eiri wrote for Nittle Grasper or for him, it was good. It was the total amount of cock between them not who had the most, and that logic he\'d never shared with his brilliant writer lover. The oil though was driving out all thought as he rubbed it over himself, thumb rubbing at the sensitive spot where his head made a little V.

\"Have you ever thought about fucking me,\" Eiri asked, fascinated by Shuichi\'s fingers. \"I like your dark hair. I wish I had dark hair like a real Japanese.\"

\"You,\" Shuichi moaned, fingers all the way around himself, stroking slowly to his dark hair, then back up, \"Are a real Japanese, Eiri.\"

And for the first time in his whole life, Eiri felt like it, felt like he belonged in Japan, felt like this land held a place for is spirit, his life. Crying again he sat up, caught Shuichi by surprise, hand at the back of his head, as he drew him into a kiss, busted his lip on Shuichi\'s teeth and got blood in their mouths, but refused to let go the kiss. Lip already swelling by the time he let Shuichi go, he sniffed back tears. \"Okay, put a finger inside me, a finger that you touched yourself with.\"

Shuichi didn\'t argue, point out that Eiri\'s lip was swelling, just leaned over and slipped a poi fin finger into him, circling outside at the first, then pressing and sliding easily into the heat, the soft flesh that closed around him. His eyes went wide. \"You\'re so hot inside!\"

\"So are you, hotter than any woman I ever did.\"

\"Ouch,\" Shuichi said, head lowering a little, until Eiri caught his chin and lifted his eyes back up.

\"I love you. I love you, Shindou Shuichi and I will never make love to anyone else as long as you want me.\"

\"I\'ll always want you.\" Shuichi said, his lips lifting in a smile. \"I busted your lip.\"

With a slight lisp, Eiri whispers. \"I knnow now put your cock in me.\"

\"Put a pillow under your bottom?\"

\"You too short little boy?\"

\"You\'re such an asshole, Eiri!\" Shuichi said grabbing a pillow and smacking him with hit, before shoving the pillow under Eiri\'s now oily bottom. \"Don\'t you want two fingers, scissors, you know, like you do to me?\"

\\" E\" Eiri said, eyes twinkling with laughter. \"You\'re not as big as I am.\"

Shuichi grimaced, inching forward on his knees, cock bouncing until Eiri caught it and aimed it down. The first hit was right between the back of Eiri\'s scrotum and his entrance and it was hard. They both looked at each other, Shuichi feeling small and worried, and still hard enough that he could bite something. Eiri was soft still, but he touched Shuichi\'s cheek. \"I\'m never going to let you drive.\"

\"I,\" Shuichi said, then stressed the next couple words, \"am not the one with a glove box full of speeding tickets!\"

\"Oh,\" Eiri leaned back, relaxed, \"you know about those?\"

Shuichi rolled his eyes. \"I paid them,\" he said, voice very low, but the head of his cock was now pressing at that puckery oiled skin, circling as his finger had. \"So many nerves at the tip! Did they just get there?\"

\"No, Baka,\" Eiri snarled, somewhat pissed that Shuichi had paid his speeding tickets, \"You\'ve just had your brain in your ass not your cock! Ahhh!\"

Shuichi had slipped inside the ring of muscle. \"Relax, Eiri, like you told me, breath, relax.\"

\"Did I say that?\" Eiri hissed, rolling his hips a little, reaching out to take a handful of Shuichi\'s pink hair. \"What else did I say?\"

After that brief pause, Shuichi pushed farther in, Eiri\'s flesh closing in around him, hot and slick and, \"How talk now...\" buried all the way in, he closed his eyes and tried not to just cum, right there and then! \"I think you said I should stop whining cuz it didn\'t hurt that badly.\"

\"I said that? I\'m an asshole.\" Eiri tugged on Shuichi\'s hair, pulling him closer.

\"It does start feeling better, Eiri, want me to stop?\"

\"You must love me a lot,\" Eiri said, his other ers ers caressing over Shuichi\'s face the way a blind man might to memorize a face.

\"No, you said that too, \'do you want me to stop\'\" Shuichi said as he kissed Eiri\'s fingers.

\"It doesn\'t really hurt, not like I remember it did. Move, aim forward like I do to you.\"

\"Aim? Fuck, Eiri, I can\'t think that much!\" Shuichi said, and he felt himself rolled, so he was on his back and Eiri was straddling him. \"Owww, don\'t bend it!\"

\"If I break it, I\'ll buy it,\" Eiri teased, slowly starting to stroke Shuichi with himself, controlling it so that he was the one fucking almost and Shuichi was his sweet little uke lover, writhing below him on the black satin. \"You\'re beautiful.\"

\"Aahhhhhhhh!\" Shuichi groaned, losing his pearls into Eiri.

Eiri held him, arms around him, holding Shuichi\'s sweating face against his chest as the younger man seemed to pump, and twitch for way longer than he usually did. \"Kamisama! Eiri! Oh god, every time it backs off, you\'re still there, around me, oh man!\"

\"Shuichi, you make me feel clean,\" Eiri said, kissing pink hair, eveoughough he could see the very tiny dark roots from this angle, and he knew that was a stupid cliché, but he felt that way, he did. He felt like he\'d cleaned himself inside and out today, run pink Shuichi through himself like Shuichi brand soul floss. \"No, you make me all brand new and yet me.\"

Shaking, Shuichi reached up to touch Eiri\'s back with one hand then the other, \"But you haven\'t cum yet.\"

\"Damn teenager, is that all you think about?\" Eiri said, not sounding like he was teasing, though Shuichi knew he was. Then they were laying there, and Shuichi reached to touch Eiri\'s cock, which had never gotten hard.

\"Eiri?\"

\"I just wanted something else right now.\" Eiri said, getting up to grab the covers. \"I\'ll take you later, hard, and make you cum again, but let\'s sleep a little first.\"

Satisfied, half asleep anyway, Shuichi fell into sleep wrapped in Eiri\'s arms. Eiri\'s tears soaked into Shuichi\'s hair, but they were happy tears, tears of freedom and renewal. \"I trust you,\" he whispered, believing it now, as if he could believe in unicorns. \"I really trust you.\"

Shuichi didn\'t hear him, but Eiri knew his little singer lover knew it anyways, and probably always had.