The Blazing Tempest

DISCLAIMER: This story is a non-commercial work of fiction based on the anime/manga Samurai 7. Original copyright of Samurai 7 belongs to Akira Kurosawa, Shinobu Hashimoto, Hideo Oguni, MICO, GDH, GONZO. Absolutely no monetary gain has been made with this work.


THE BLAZING TEMPEST
By Rory V. Pascual (Edited by Saiyukihana)
© Original Version 2001; Samurai 7 Version July 3, 2006


Epilogue

The sun rose over the majestic peaks of the mountains, heralding a new spring day. A hawk screeched overhead, its wings stretched out as it soared through the clear blue sky. Rabbits scampered out of their burrows to gaze at the birds chirping in the trees.

Suddenly, there was a strange sound emanating from a field of tall grass, which sent butterflies of all shapes, sizes and colors fluttering out of the brush. One brave yellow butterfly hovered above the blades of needle grass, taunting the creature that lay hidden
within the grass patch.

"YIP...YIP...YIP!" Chester leaped through the air, reaching for the pretty insect that had earlier tickled his nose and sent him sneezing. The butterfly, however, fluttered out of the reach of the open mouth and long, drooling tongue of the dachshund. This only caused Chester to leap higher and yip louder.

There was a chuckle coming from the cedar tree, where his two Masters sat under, enjoying a morning repast.

"The hills are certainly alive with the sound of Chester," laughed the Samurai.

This was followed by a snort of mild exasperation from his older lover. "If he barked any louder, it would probably bring farmers and feudal lords and their men running, thinking that the Nobuseri have brought hunting dogs with them."

"I seriously doubt if anyone would consider poor Chester a worthy hunting hound though. I doubt if they would even take HIM seriously."

"Keep your mouth shut. The dog might hear you."

But Chester couldn't care less that his two masters were talking about him. So engrossed was the happy puppy in chasing the butterfly that he did not notice the stealthy approach of an equally small, but more menacing creature. Coal black eyes were riveted to the gamboling sausage dog. Those same eyes flared with annoyance every time the dachshund jumped.

When Chester leaped for the butterfly once more, Moeru jumped as well, his hind hooves lashing out and kicking the poor dog. The dachshund fell squealing to the ground.

"What's going on over there?" The colt's ears perked up, hearing the Samurai call from the cedar tree.

Pretending as if nothing happened, it was the mini horse's turn to bounce up and down in play, hoping to catch the yellow-winged insect. Moeru, however, underestimated the now very angry puppy.

As he jumped, Chester leaped as well. With a graceful somersault, the dachshund nipped the colt in the hindquarters, eliciting a 'yip' of surprise from Moeru's mouth. For a moment, the two animals disappeared into the brush. Then, their heads lifted, glaring eyeball to eyeball, teeth bared as they growled. Suddenly, horse and dog charged at each other, grabbing a mouthful of the other's tail. Thus joined, a snarling Moeru and Chester started to spin around and around like a whirligig, sending grass, butterflies and all other types of insects flying.

"MOERU! CHESTER!" the Warrior yelled again. "Damn it! Are you two fighting again?" But neither animal minded him.

In their determination to get even with the other, the two animals did not notice Thanatos and Denko ambling towards them. Nearing the babies, the stallions stopped, watching the colt and dachshund whirl around and around, a spinning ring of red and brown hair.
Glancing at each other, the elder horses snickered wickedly. For a few minutes, they observed the dizzying spin of the fighting younglings, waiting for the right moment. Finally determining the rhythm, Thanatos and Denko swiftly swooped down and pinched Moeru and Chester hard in their butts. As the stallions' teeth tightened on the skin of their behinds, the mini horse and the dachshund howled in surprise and pain.

"CHESTER! MOERU!" their Master called out sharply. "WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON?"

The two babies dashed out of the brush, whinnying and yapping in misery, stampeding straight for their savior. The coins in the pouches hanging at their necks jingled with each step.

Exquisite ash brown eyes widened, seeing the two distraught creatures' thundering approach. "Oh no! No you don't! DON'T YOU DARE!"

But the warning came too late, as both Moeru and Chester leaped onto his lap, sending him falling to the ground from their combined weight.

Shichiroji burst into gales of laughter, seeing his lover struggle to sit up. Fixing the turban that had fallen askew on his head, Shimada Kanbei glared at the colt and dog. Both were wailing miserably, tears streaming from the corners of their eyes, tongues drooping from their mouths. Noticing the approach of Denko and Thanatos out of the corner of their eyes, to the concubine's shock, Chester and Moeru tried to squeeze their heads in between the buttons of his shirt. He yanked the two animals away before they could tear his clothes.

"Naughty boys!" Kanbei scolded, clucking his tongue. "It's been five months and you still haven't gotten it through your heads. No more getting your din din from me." His chocolate eyes focused on the distinct wheals on their butts. With inquisitive brows raised, he turned to the two stallions. "What kind of mischief have these two been up to again?"

Thanatos' answer was to snort in disgust and make a fast whirling gesture with his head. Unfortunately, he was unable to stop that circular motion that Denko had to bop him on the brow with his chin. The poor warhorse's eyes had crossed, dizzy.

"My faithful steed!" Shichiroji began in surprise. "Are you telling me that you have finally met your match in these two younglings?"

Thanatos stared at his Master, shocked that he would even dare to suggest such a thing. Both he and Denko shook their heads. In retaliation, Moeru and Chester stuck their tongues out at the stallions spitefully, but quickly hid behind the concubine when the elder horses snapped at them with their teeth.

Urging the colt and the dog to face him, Kanbei wagged a scolding finger at his beloved pets. "Now that wasn't very nice. You know neither Denko nor Thanatos would punish you if you were not naughty. Unfortunately for you, you're always asking for it. If you two are not into some form of mischief, you're fighting."

Moeru's and Chester's lower lips jutted out in a pout. They were expecting sympathy, and perhaps even a taste of that lip-smacking milk, certainly not a scolding.

The whoremaster noticed that the two babies' eyes were avidly focused on a particular portion of his anatomy. Pulling his cloak around his chest, he declared, "Don't even think about it. Those days of my feeding you are long gone, Moeru. As for you, Chester, sorry to say you missed it."

There was a mischievous twinkle in the Samurai's eyes. "I hope this condition excludes me." Grinning, Shichiroji waved a bottle enticingly before the concubine's face. "I have a lot of that potion and Kikunoji taught me how to make more if I ran out of it."

"Of course this condition INCLUDES you! ESPECIALLY YOU!" Kanbei retorted, mortified that his lover would even suggest that he take the potion again. To his chagrin, the mini horse and the dachshund were nodding eagerly. "God, you are worse than these two!"

The jingling of the animals' precious pouches caught the whoremaster's attention. "By the way, you two were successful in keeping your distance from me on the ship. Now that you're here, perhaps I could have a close look at those coin purses."

Before his fingertips could even graze a single pouch, Moeru and Chester made a quick escape, dashing between the legs of the two startled stallions. Thanatos and Denko raced after the runaways.

Shichiroji gave his lover a baleful glare. "Kanbei, when are you going to quit harassing those two about the pouches that Kikuchiyo made for them?"

"If I do not get a close look at those pouches," Kanbei began, watching as the younglings gave their elders a merry chase in the meadow, "Hyogo's ghost will never rest in peace."

Shaking his head, the Warrior remarked, "I seriously doubt if Hyogo's cock is big enough to make two coin pouches."

"Human skin is like hide, isn't it? Doesn't it stretch a bit during the tanning process?"

Shichiroji grimaced as he thought hard. "No. I don't think so. Kanbei, I think you've been talking too much to old man Farouk and his tales of cannibals in Africa. Like I said, I don't believe that the skin in Hyogo's rod would be enough to make two pouches."

"How could you be so sure? Have you actually seen Hyogo's cock? Have you taken it inside your mouth or in your ass like I have? It felt too damned big if you ask me."

"Actually, I have…fifteen years ago. But I didn't commit the…experience…to memory. I'd rather forget, as you should too."

Kanbei blanched. He had completely forgotten that it was Shichiroji who first had to endure the abuse at the hands of Ukyo and Hyogo. Repentant, he said, "I'm sorry. It's not my intent to reopen old wounds."

Shichiroji answered cheerfully, "Oh, don't bother yourself too much with it, Kanbei. It's all in the past now. Besides, Hyogo should be happy that his cock is now serving a much more useful purpose."

The concubine smiled at that reply, breathing a relieved sigh. Lost in his thoughts, he did not notice that his lover was looking at him curiously.

"Kanbei, I know something's bothering you," Shichiroji went straight to the point. "You're just using yonder pets' precious coin pouches as an excuse to keep your mind of it." Giving the whoremaster a meaningful glance, he said, "You've finally come back home. Aren't you happy to be back after so many years?"

Kanbei stood up and went towards the edge of the hill. Those months in the desert seemed like an eternity that it startled the concubine to see so much green and all other colors before his eyes. Everywhere he turned, he was surrounded by the colors of life. Raising his head, the breeze, so fresh and gentle, caressed his cheeks, not like the arid, gritty air of the Sahara. Closing his eyes, he caught the scent of cherry blossoms and wild flowers, the pleasant aroma tickling his nostrils.

"Why shouldn't I be happy?" Kanbei replied. "I'm surrounded once more by the beauty of nature and of life."

"But you're not happy, Kanbei. Well, certainly not completely."

The whoremaster breathed out a sigh. There was no point in denying what was truly in his heart to the Samurai. "Who am I kidding? No matter how much I wish it to be so, this is no longer my home. I don't know why I allowed Ahura Mazda, Devi Mari and Mithras to convince me to return here."

"Perhaps because they are deities and they know what's best for you. You don't question the will of the gods. And didn't they tell you that the 'God of the Mountain' needs your aid….whatever that's supposed to mean."

"Is this truly what's best for me? As I stand here, gazing out into this beautiful place, the more I feel like I am a stranger in my homeland, even if so little has changed here in the years that I've been gone."

"That's because it is you who have changed. You're no longer the man you once were." Shichiroji looked meaningfully at the older man. "Kanbei, I know what you truly fear – that people will remember who you are, your relationship with Ukyo before you left this land. You're that you won't be welcomed with open arms. That's why you're still dressed like a Bedouin of the desert. You don't want people to recognize you. Very convenient too. You're ready to make a hasty retreat in the event that does happen."

The concubine smiled wanly. "Since when did you learn to read me like a book, love?"

"Maybe when we opened our hearts to each other -- learned to lose the hate and desire for vengeance, when we discovered the importance of trust, when we learned to love once more."

"Yes, we have learned and accomplished so much in so little time."

Shichiroji got to his feet and went towards his lover. Wrapping his arms around Kanbei's waist, he laid his chin on the whoremaster's shoulder. "What is there to fear, Kanbei? You who are the true Champion of all humanity, who have faced and defeated Satan himself.
None warrior could make such a lofty claim."

He bade the older man to look at him. "Listen to me, Kanbei. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Things will work out fine." Shichiroji winked. "And besides, why should you concern yourself about the welcome, or lack thereof, from your countrymen when you have me to keep you happy and content with my hugs and kisses and all other garnishes that come with buggery."

"Speaking of buggery... HEY!" Kanbei's eyes flew wide, unable to finish what he was going to say, as his attention was diverted to the very funny sight at the bottom of the hill.

Thanatos and Denko were sitting inside the rickety cart, snickering wickedly, their lips curling to reveal their teeth. Trying in vain to pull the cart with the inside heavy stallions were a huffing and puffing Moeru and Chester, the ropes held inside their mouths.

"DENKO! THANATOS! What do you think you're doing?" the whoremaster stormed down the hill, gesturing furiously. "Get down from there! You two lugs are not babies!"

Shichiroji giggled merrily as he watched his irate lover wave the two chastened stallions down from the cart. Furious that they were made to do hard labor, Chester and Moeru barked and whinnied in anger at the two horses. Swiftly, they got inside the cart, urging Thanatos and Denko to pull them. The response of the two stallions was to rear up on their hind legs, and their hooves crashed down on the edge of the cart. As the tiny wagon tilted violently, it catapulted Moeru and Chester right through the air, and landed right on top of Kanbei.

Hearing his lover roaring with laughter on the hilltop, the concubine bellowed, "Stop laughing, you fool, and get these two off me!"

Breathless from laughing, Shichiroji hurried down the hill and towards the older man. He lifted the colt and the dachshund, who sat stunned, stars twinkling around their heads, right on top of the struggling whoremaster.

"You were saying something, Kanbei?" Shichiroji began, helping his lover to his feet.

Kanbei blinked at the Samurai in bewilderment. "What was I saying?"

Patiently refreshing the memory of his lover, Shichiroji said, "You earlier began 'Speaking of buggery...' and then you ran off to deal with these equine and canine miscreants. So? What were you going to tell me?"

The concubine thought for a long moment. To the Warrior's dismay, Kanbei's reply was a quick, "Sorry, but I don't remember," and he started to walk back up the hill.

Shichiroji stared at the whoremaster aghast, knowing that the older man was just being evasive. "Don't give me that, Kanbei. I know you remember."

"Of course I remember! I have a very good memory!" the whoremaster called back with a wave of his hand. Uncomfortably, he continued what he was going to tell the Samurai. "I was going to say that fifteen years have passed. Times change, people change. We don't know if the people here are still open-minded about the relationships between warriors."

"What exactly are you trying to say?" the Samurai persisted in asking, his heart suddenly filling with growing dread.

Kanbei came to a dead halt. With a helpless flop of his arms, he turned to face his lover. "Until we know what people think, we're off limits to each other, Shichiroji. To put it simply, we cannot reveal to anyone what our true relationship is."

Shichiroji felt his heart stop in his chest, suddenly realizing what the older Warrior was trying to say. "Off limits? Then, this means that..."

Kanbei nodded regretfully, although there was a glint of something like relief in his sweet doe eyes. "While we're here, we cannot make love. Definitely no sex." Saying this, he continued on his way up the hill.

The Samurai was caught speechless by that answer, his mouth gaping open like a drowning fish. Gazing at the heavens, he complained to the deities whom he knew resided there, "Why oh why did you tell us to come here? Is this your way of punishing me?" With a sorrowful shake of his head, Shichiroji went after his beloved, muttering under his breath, "No sex...I mourn the loss already."

~~~~~~~~~~

"Now stay close to me, little ones," Kanbei gleefully admonished his beloved pets. "We are riding through the heart of Kanna Woods, the most haunted forest in this region. No man would dare enter this forest at night, because they are certain to never leave it the following morning."

The concubine was having fiendish delight in frightening his two tiny charges, who were riding in the cart that was hitched to Denko's saddle. Sure enough, Moeru and Chester were looking warily at their surroundings, their eyes black and brown marbles, wondering why, if it was haunted, they were traipsing through this dark forest at night. To add to their fears, the light of the lamp that Kanbei was holding was casting wraith-like shadows that seemed to reach out and grab them. Except for their Master's good-natured storytelling, no sounds could be heard in these dreadful woods -- no chirping of birds or crickets, no rustling of animals in their burrows. No breeze blew through the leaves on the trees. Just that eerie silence. No, Kanna Woods wasn't totally silent. There was a strange noise, like small bones being shaken. Facing each other, the midget horse and the dachshund realized that their chattering teeth were the source of that noise.

Kanbei had heard that snappy clicking of teeth. Rather than stop, with an amused chuckle, he continued with his narration. "It's been said that an evil kappa haunts these woods. Like an ape it is, leaping from tree to tree, waiting to snatch an unwitting traveler off his horse. Once it captures its prize, it takes its hapless victim to the deep, dark lake that is its home, where it drowns him and eats his flesh."

Shichiroji, who was trailing behind his happy lover, couldn't care less about the devilish kappa of Kanna Woods. The poor Samurai was still mourning the loss of those delightful trysts that had warmed not only those cool desert nights, but also his lonely heart. Already, he was miserably resigned to the fact that the only pleasure he was going to get while in this infernal country would be through self- gratification. Truth be told, Shichiroji was, at that moment, listlessly engaging in said pursuit, his hand pumping his grieving rod.

Thanatos stole a glance back at his Master and snorted in disgust. The expression on his face clearly said, "If you make a mess on me, I expect you to clean me up."

Kanbei, however, was oblivious to the Samurai's dilemma, engrossed as he was in terrorizing the two babies. There was a wicked grin on his face as a brilliant idea struck him.

"So I want you to stay alert, Moeru, Chester. I won't have none of your mischief this time," the whoremaster sternly ordered the younglings, although he was getting so close to bursting into laughter. "We must stick together. We don't know when that kappa is going to..."

Horrified squawks were elicited from the throats of Moeru and Chester when Kanbei floated into the trees. The dachshund and the colt were at a loss on what to do. With terror reflected in their eyes, their heads moved in jerks as they searched desperately for their beloved Master in the trees above them. In their fright, neither Chester nor Moeru noticed Denko shake his head at the antics of the mischievous concubine. Neither did they sense the descent of a grinning figure in black behind them.

Swiftly, Kanbei grabbed the babies' round rumps and cried, "BOO!" at the same time.

The younglings' reaction was instant. Shrieking in terror, Chester and Moeru literally flew out of the cart and landed on the special riding platforms that Shichiroji had constructed on Thanatos' saddle for such an occasion. The Samurai stared in shock at the two bawling babies who were cuddling up to him. In his surprise, his hand was actually frozen around his cock.

"Kanbei?" Shichiroji growled menacingly at his giggling lover. Waving to Moeru and Chester, who were wetting his good shirt with their tears, he inquired, "What is THIS about?"

"Just a harmless little prank?" Kanbei said guiltily.

The erstwhile Shinigami released his hold on his perpetually flaccid member and embraced the crying younglings, rubbing them soothingly. "I think you traumatized them for life, Little Taisho. After this, I seriously doubt if Moeru would grow taller."

"Well, Kikuchiyo believed that a good scare could add an inch or two to Moeru's height."

Shichiroji grimaced at that answer. "Believe me, Kanbei! His Chinese growth balls are more effective. What horrific tale of the macabre have you been telling these two anyway?"

There was a suspicious frown on the concubine's forehead as he went to take Moeru and Chester from the young warrior. "I was telling them the story of the mysterious kappa of Kanna Woods. Haven't you been listening to me?"

One by one, Kanbei lifted the miniature horse and the dachshund from the platforms. It was only then that Shichiroji realized that his cock was still exposed. Worse, his traitorous member immediately started to rise the minute the whoremaster's gentle doe eyes fell upon it. Kanbei's brown orbs were as round as saucers at the sight of that impressive rod that was pointing eagerly to him.

"Oh, I see!" the concubine began with a raise of his brows. With Moeru and Chester cradled in his arms, he immediately turned his back on the flustered Samurai so that he wouldn't see the smile that curled up the corners of his full lips. "It seems the prospect of celibacy is weighing heavily on you."

"CELIBACY? Are you saying it's…it's PERMANENT? It's not just abstinence?" Shichiroji blurted out in dismay.

It took supreme effort on Kanbei's part to hold back his mirth. Even the two babies were looking curiously at their Master as he put them back inside the cart, wondering what was so funny.

The Samurai's eyes narrowed, seeing how his lover's body trembled from the strain of holding back his chuckles as well as noting the way Moeru and Chester stared at the older man.

"Wait a minute! Why do I have to become a celibate?" Shichiroji suddenly declared, causing the whoremaster to pause near the cart. "It's only your scrumptious assets that are off-limits. Just point me to the nearest whorehouse, Kanbei-sama, and I'll take my business there."

That statement brought the desired effect. Before Shichiroji could even blink, Kanbei soared gracefully through the air and landed on Thanatos, facing the younger man. There was a dark scowl on the concubine's face, jealousy clearly written in his chocolate eyes.

Grabbing Shichiroji's shirt collar in his hands, Kanbei shook him roughly. "You're NOT going to any old whorehouse! I'm NOT sharing you with anyone, do you hear me? You're mine, Shichiroji! MINE!" He then yanked the startled Samurai towards him and gave him a bruising kiss on the lips.

Unfortunately, the Samurai's grip on his war steed was not as strong as his grip earlier on his cock. Before he could regain his balance, Shichiroji slipped from Thanatos' back, taking an equally surprised Kanbei with him. The two warriors just found themselves rolling and tumbling down the hill. They landed at the bottom, dazed, with Shichiroji doubled up in pain.

Swiftly, Chester and Moeru hurried after their masters, with Thanatos following them. Denko took up the rear because he had to free himself first from the cart.

Reaching the two men, the babies rushed to Kanbei's side, licking the older man's face.

Although dizzy and still winded, the whoremaster managed to raise his hands and caress the heads of the colt and the dachshund. "I'm all right, my dear friends. Just give me a moment to catch my breath and for the world to stop spinning."

In the meantime, Thanatos and Denko were peering down at the cringing Samurai.

"What about me? I'm the one's who in terrible pain here!" Shichiroji called out, his voice higher in pitch. Given the quickness of the concubine's response, he did not have the time to stuff his privates back in the safety of his trousers. His sausage and his nuts in their thin bag ended up getting bruised and battered.

Suddenly, low groans issued from the bush behind Shichiroji. "Shut up! You're not the only one who's in pain," a disgruntled voice exclaimed. It was the voice of someone they knew.

"My poor ass feels like it's been ripped out!" another familiar voice moaned.

Kanbei and Shichiroji peeked on top of the bushes, their eyes flying wide at the two naked figures writhing on the ground. "KYUZO! KATSUSHIRO!" they both blurted out.

To their even greater shock, who else should show up but Gorobei, Heihachi, and Kikuchiyo.

"I told you that pathetic whine could only come from Shichinoji," the mechanical samurai declared knowingly, his arms akimbo.

The Samurai glared at the two men in the bushes. 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Kyuzo grabbed his favorite crimson frock uniform. "Katsushiro wanted to come home, visit the old country. These three decided to tag along with us."

"I think what Shichiroji was asking was," Gorobei began, his lips pressed to hold back his laughter, "what you two are doing hiding in the bushes?"

"It was Katsushiro who replied, "I thought I'd score with Sensei." He glared resentfully at the Samurai. "But you barreled into me."

"And who said you two should make out in the bushes in an embankment near a forest trail? You should expect mishaps like this to happen!" Shichiroji paused, realizing what the boy just said. Pointing a shocked finger at Kyuzo, he exclaimed, "YOU'RE UKE?!"

"SHUT UP!" Kyuzo was blushing furiously as he hastened to button up his clothes. He stopped, however, seeing Moeru and Chester sniffing his chest. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Katsushiro exchanged conniving snickers with Shichiroji, both men showing off their bottles of precious potion.

Kanbei looked at his former bodyguard. "The last thing I expected is to see you here, Gorobei? What about Ismail?"

"Oh, not to worry. The Sultan asked me to keep an eye on you for the time being. Make sure you're fine."

The concubine turned to the carrot top at the moor's side.

Heihachi's reply was expected. "You know me. I'm here for the rice. Nothing beats the rice here at home."

Gorobei snorted. "Rice addict! You should start thinking about looking for a woman."

The samurai engineer raised a knowing finger. "Number 1 criteria for a good wife for Hayashida Heihachi: She should know how to cook rice and all rice dishes."

That answer caused the moor's eyes to roll heavenwards in exasperation.

Kanbei threw a suspicious look at Kikuchiyo, who readily answered, "Hey! I just came to check up on my two loyal customers."

" 'Customers?' " The whoremaster somehow did not like the sound of that word.

"I wanted to make sure that Shichinoji and Katsunoji still have a supply." Saying this, the mechanical samurai lifted a flagon of his infamous potion. "I brought more right here."

Kyuzo was furious. "Katsushiro! Don't tell me that you've been sneaking that stuff into my food!"

His student struggled in vain to look innocent…until Moeru and Chester began rooting on his teacher's breast.

The Bandit Chief stood up before the two babies could nip his tits, and unsheathed his double blades. His sharp crimson eyes flashed in anger at Katsushiro and Kikuchiyo.

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

At once, Kyuzo chased his errant lover and the cyborg.

Gorobei burst into laughter at that comical sight. Patting Kanbei and Shichiroji, he said, "You two come and join us. Our camp is over here."

Heihachi grinned. "It's just like old times!"

As the moor and the engineer walked off, Kanbei let out a groan. "And I thought I'd have some peace and quiet."

"I don't see anything wrong," Shichiroji said, shrugging his shoulders. "The company will help distract me from other things."

The concubine was about to say something, but the Samurai trudged back up the hill, his stooped form eloquently conveying his loneliness and disappointment.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Kanbei, might I offer a suggestion?" Gorobei recommended to the man riding before him. "You know, you don't have to go around dressed like a ragamuffin of the desert."

"What's wrong with my attire?" Kanbei declared snootily. "These are very fine clothes, gifts from Ismail. The Sultan is known for his impeccable taste when it comes to his wardrobe."

Shichiroji was in wholehearted agreement with the moor's suggestion. "Yes, but when in this country, wear what the locals wear. You look mighty fine in a yukata."

The whoremaster reined Denko to a halt and turned to glower at his lover. "Why don't you just admit that a certain portion of your anatomy wants to worm its way under my yukata?"

The Samurai's blue eyes twinkled with mischief and desire. "Why, Kanbei! Are you saying you don't wear anything under your yukata? Not even a fundoshi?"

Kanbei, however, was not falling for that shameless baiting. "Sex, sex, sex! Is that all you think about?"

"You've imposed forced celibacy on me. What else should I think about?"

This all too familiar reply elicited a snort of disgust from the older man. "Something must be done about your overactive libido, Shichiroji. Back then my poor bum, not to mention my aching nipples, could barely take the punishment."

Kyuzo nudged his horse towards the concubine. "Hey, Kanbei!" he hissed in clear discomfort. "My nipples hurt like hell! Did yours always ache like this?"

"Only after I had sex with someone with…oral…tendencies. Of course, it hurt a lot more after I feed…"

At once, suspicion dawned upon the two men, training their narrowed eyes towards Katsushiro and the two babies he was playing with in the cart. Moeru and Chester were obviously much heftier in the belly than before. Noticing their masters' attention focused on them, Moeru and Chester gave them toothy grins. To Kyuzo's chagrin, the babies even burped noisily.

The Bandit Chief was outraged. He gave his young lover a painful rap on the head with his scabbard. "Katsushiro, you pervert! You let those two feed on me while I was asleep!"

"They're hungry, Sensei!" Katsushiro rubbed the growing lump. "I felt sorry for them."

"You should show me respect! I'm still your teacher!"

Groaning, the whoremaster told the younglings. "Don't think you're off the hook, Chester, Moeru! This time, I'm going to do something about your appetites for milk."

Knowing immediately what his Master was hinting at, the midget horse assumed a dumb expression on his face and blinked innocently. The same could not be said for Chester though, who was not really all that bright in the head. The dachshund smiled broadly and made licking gestures with his large, drooping tongue. He even demonstrated Katsushiro's bassy belch after the libidinous young man had consumed mouthfuls of his teacher's nether fluids.

Kanbei was absolutely scandalized. "You've been peeping too? That's disgusting!" Pointing to the babies, he ordered, "You two! Out of the cart now! You've grown too fat. You need exercise to get the bulges out of your mid-sections."

The grin vanished from Chester's mouth, especially when he saw the fierce scowl on Moeru's face. With a frightened yip, the puppy jumped out of the cart and made a quick dash up the trail, with a furious pony in hot pursuit.

"When I said 'exercise', I didn't mean you should run," Kanbei yelled after the younglings. "Moeru! Chester! Damn it, come back here!" Glaring at his lover, he said, "This is all your fault, you pervert!"

"Excuse me!" Shichiroji countered defensively. "I wasn't the one who told them that they needed the exercise!"

The concubine turned angry eyes towards Kikuchiyo. The mechanical samurai waved his hands defensively. "Don't look at me. I only made the potion because they asked me to."

Gritting his teeth, the whoremaster urged Denko onwards with a flick of the reins. "After this, there'll be no sex for you, you dirty old Shinigami!"

"You keep on saying that, Kanbei-sama, but I still haven't had any sex with you since we got here!"

Shichiroji grimaced hearing clucking noises from Heihachi. "Poor Shichiroji-dono! Are you really so deprived of a night of passion?"

Snorting, the Samurai declared, "Well, finding a delightful bedmate is not as easy as looking for a perfect rice ball." Clicking his tongue as a signal for Thanatos to follow, Shichiroji called after his lover, "How long are we going to stay in this country anyway?"

Gorobei nudged a chuckling Heihachi. "Our poor Shichiroji does not know that the minute they both return to the desert, he will find himself a fierce rival in Ismail."

Heihachi nodded knowingly. "I agree with you there. Our dashing Sultan still hasn't given up hope."

The seven samurai hurried after the runaways, reaching the end of the woods. However, as they emerged from the forest, they quickly reined their horses to a halt.

In the village below them, a skirmish was raging between a group of farmers, armed only with rusty swords and pikes, and a band of bloodthirsty Nobuseri. It was apparent to them that the farmers were no match against their formidable adversaries. There was no question as to who would win this battle in the end.

Shichiroji laid a hand on his lover's shoulder. "I don't think Moeru and Chester would be stupid enough to go through that." When the older man remained silent, he knew instantly what was on Kanbei's mind. "There's nothing we can do. We can't just waltz in there. The better option for us is to go around them."

"But Shichiroji..." Then, the concubine's doe eyes widened in alarm, seeing the two tiny figures that raced across the field. "My God! NO!"

Even the Samurai had blanched at the sight of the miniature horse and the dachshund, heading right into that chaos. Worse, the two younglings stopped at the very spot where the fighting was thickest.

In truth, Moeru and Chester were just as stunned to find themselves in the middle of a battle. For a moment, they simply sat there, unwitting observers...that is, until their mischievous dark orbs focused on those flying yukatas, not to mention the distinct bulges at the crotch of those baggy trousers. They looked at each other, grins on their faces as the same foolhardy idea crossed their perverted little minds. Having made their decision, the dachshund and the midget horse completely forgot the dangers to their fiendish little hides. With their precious coin purses jingling around their necks, they trotted playfully amongst the combatants, staring up at crotch bulges and peeking under flaring robes.

Seeing what the babies were doing, Kanbei slapped his hand to his forehead. "Damned those coin purses! They are going to be the death of them!"

"No, I don't think so!" Shichiroji remarked with a grimace. "I'll be the death of them, once I get my hands on their necks."

Katsushiro could not believe what the two animals were doing. "Don't tell me they're still obsessed about coin purses up to now!"

Kyuzo glowered at his student. "Just as you are obsessed with perversions, my dear pupil."

Suddenly, however, a most astounding thing happened. Probably noticing the strange, peeping creatures in their midst, farmers and Nobuseri alike stopped fighting, their swords in mid-clash. All the men stared at the small horse and dog, who were still busy sniffing for ample private parts. Sensing that startled eyes were focused on them, Moeru and Chester looked at the men around them in surprise. They plopped down on their butts and gave the combatants stupid smiles.

At the sight of those ridiculous grins, everyone, Nobuseri and farmer, burst into gales of laughter and derision, pointing at the poor younglings. Chester and Moeru's lower lips trembled. Never in their lives have they felt so humiliated. At once, anger welled up inside them and low growls rumbled in their throats. They did not think twice. Moeru and Chester leaped, their teeth sinking into a hunk of buttock of a buck-toothed farmer and a Nobuseri respectively. As the babies' victims howled in pain, all hell broke loose once more.

"That's it! That's it!" Kikuchiyo blurted out. "I'm going to kill them!"

The concubine, however, did not hear what the cyborg said. All he could see were his beloved pets, clinging to the asses of two of the men who had laughed at them. To his horror, a Nobuseri's blade flashed in the bright morning sun, about to be brought down on the two younglings.

Fear for the younglings compelled Kanbei to launch into action. Kicking Denko into a full gallop, he unsheathed his katana and roared, "DON'T YOU DARE HARM MY BABIES!"

Shichiroji shook his head in dismay. "Here we go again! Let's go, Thanatos!" Heeding his Master's command, the war steed raced after the concubine.

Gorobei was thrilled at the prospect of a battle. "Shall we go help them, Heihachi?"

"After you, Gorobei," Heihachi smiled as they rode after their comrades.

Nearing the babies, Kanbei shouted to them, "Moeru! Chester! Let go!"

The puppy and the pony swiftly obeyed, just as the sword began to descend. Leaping out of his saddle, the whoremaster blocked the blade with his katana before it could cut down the farmer that Chester had bitten.

At the sight of two more Nobuseri heading towards them, the concubine yelled to the farmer who was favoring his butt, "Get down!" Although startled by the sight of the strangely-dressed man, the farmer had the good sense to duck. In a graceful whirling motion, Kanbei slashed three Nobuseri at one swipe.

Shichiroji, who was holding back two bandits on his own, said grinning, "Nice move! What do you say? Shall you and I..."

Kanbei gave his lover a beguiling smile. "You know, you don't have to ask me that!"

Kyuzo and Katsushiro let out the fierce ululating cry of the desert warriors as they charged at the Nobuseri, teacher and student cutting down the bandits that dared to get in their way. Shichiroji and Kanbei zipped through the air like lightning, slashing and hacking their way through towering Raiden and Benigumo. Heihachi and Gorobei were fighting back to back against their opponents. A Yakan attempted to drive them apart, but Kikuchiyo brought it down with a downward strike of his huge sword. At one point, Kanbei did a graceful aerial corkscrew, his twirling blade lashing out at the heads of several black-clad foot bandits. Shichiroji was just as agile, leaping high and using the heads of startled farmers as stepping stones to sneak up on their foes and hack them down. In the end, between the seven of them, they were able to dispatch about a third of their opponents. Even Moeru and Chester managed to get a few licks in, with a kick here and a butt bite there.

Seeing that they stood no chance against the warriors, the Nobuseri retreated into the woods. At the sight of the enemy running with their tails between their legs, the farmers cheered in victory.

Shichiroji and Kanbei, however, were the oblivious to the celebration going on around them, as they turned to the two guilty babies.

"Did you see the trouble you two caused?" Kanbei scolded the younglings, wagging his finger in their faces.

"What if something terrible happened to you, like you get hurt or, worse, killed even?" Kanbei exclaimed in anger and concern. "I could never forgive myself!"

Kikuchiyo pushed the sleeve of his orange coat up his brawny arms. "Don't cry over them, Little Taisho. It's about time I gave them a lesson they'll never forget."

Before Moeru and Chester could run away, the mechanical samurai grabbed them and plopped them over his knee, giving the two errant younglings a hard spanking.

At that moment, a shy farmer with brown hair tucked under a colorful bandanna approached the seven warriors. Dropping down to his knees, forehead pressed to the ground, he declared in sincere gratitude, "Thank you very much for your aid, Samurai-sama. Those Nobuseri have been plaguing us for years. We thought we would be able to turn them back, but… If you did not come, I'm sure we all would be dead by now."

"Kamiyama Rikichi…" A stern voice called out. The farmer looked up to see the village elder coming towards them, the villagers following behind him. He had a staff of gnarled wood in his hands. "I told you to practice caution and prudence. While your plan was feasible, we are not samurai. Certainly not like these men."

// Kamiyama? // Kanbei and Shichiroji looked at each other, now understanding what the gods meant. // Kamiyama…The God of the Mountain… //

"Oh, please, sir!" Gorobei said modestly. "We are merely wanderers. It's been quite some time since we last took up the sword. We are only too happy to be of assistance."

"However," Kanbei began, eyeing those woods where the Nobuseri had disappeared to, "those bandits will not take this defeat lightly. You shouldn't have gone against them. I am sure they will return."

"That is why I have come forward to meet you," the Elder replied. "On behalf of our village, I would like to ask if you could help defend our village against the Nobuseri."

"Our services don't come cheap, Old Man," Kyuzo pointed it out to the Elder, drawing a disapproving frown from his student.

"Come now, Sensei!" Katsushiro scolded his teacher. "It's the code of the Samurai to defend the weak. We cannot just ignore their plight."

"I agree with Katsunoji," Kikuchiyo announced as he got to his feet. Plopped down on the ground, howling in anguish at the spanking they received were poor Chester and Moeru. "We must help them."

"The only thing we have to offer is all the rice you can eat," the farmer Rikichi put in. "But it is good rice. We pride ourselves in the quality of our grain."

"I have no doubt of that," Heihachi remarked, his eyes sparkling at the prospect of a rice meal. "The rice from Kanna Village is deliciously sticky with a touch of sweetness to tickle the taste buds."

Kanbei made up his mind in an instant. "My heart is moved by your people's dilemma and your determination to fight against your tormentors. We will help you."

That answer elicited smiles and relieved cheers from the farmers.

"HOLD IT!"

All whirled towards an irate Shichiroji. Before Kanbei could scold the younger man, the Samurai strode towards Rikichi and the Elder.

"Hey, Old Man! Before I agree," Shichiroji began menacingly, "I want to know your opinion on the relationship between warriors."

" 'Relationship?' " Rikichi stuttered. "You mean…a pairing…like husband and wife? Well…" The poor farmer hesitated, wondering if he should really voice out his views. "The Great War has ended and samurai are no longer… It is not an…acceptable…practice."

Shichiroji was disheartened by that reply. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kanbei giving him a smug smile. "Well, I won't have it. I will help you. Hell, I'll kill that entire band of bandits that have been plaguing you…" He pointed a finger straight at the concubine. "…IF YOU'LL ALLOW ME TO FORNICATE WITH THAT MAN!"

Kanbei was shocked by that demand. "Shichiroji! How dare you say something like that?"

There was only amusement on the Elder's face. "I can see that you are long deprived of a warm night, am I right, Samurai?"

Shichiroji nodded strongly. "You've got that right. Five months, two weeks, three days and six hours to be exact."

"As Rikichi said, such a pairing is really no longer accepted here in this country. But I could make an exception in your case…" At this, the Elder's eyes twinkled. "IF you agree to marry him. You do love him, yes?"

"With all my heart."

Before the concubine could even utter a single word of protest, the Elder declared, "Good. Then the two of you shall be bound together in wedlock right this minute."

~~~~~~~~~~

Kanbei was stunned by what was happening. "This isn't real! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!"

But there was no denying that he was walking up a flower bedecked platform, dressed in a flowing white silk caftan with a crimson and gold phoenix embroidered at the front. Kanbei's hair was adorned with flowers and precious gems. Standing on top of the platform, waiting beside the smiling Elder, was Shichiroji. The Samurai looked absolutely dashing in his white Arab garments, adorned with sapphire and ruby trimmings. Instead of a turban, a simple gold ringlet encircled his brow, his golden hair flowing freely down to his shoulders.

As the two lovers joined hands, everyone could see the flower tattoos that adorned the backs of their hands, a sign of their eternal devotion to each other.

Kanbei barely heard the Elder, as the old man went through the ceremony. "I hope you're not just doing this for the sex, Shichiroji."

"Oh," Shichiroji began innocently, "I'm sure I can think of something. Right, younglings?"

At their feet, with ringlets of flowers around their necks, Moeru and Chester were grinning at them with tongues lolling out.

"Oh please!" Kanbei groaned. "Anything except that!"

Their five friends were thrilled by this sudden turn of events.

"I guess the Sultan won't be too happy when he finds out about this," Heihachi remarked to Gorobei at his side.

"Why should Ismail be sad?" Gorobei asked the engineer incredulously. "He's got one hundred wives and twenty-two concubines. I'm sure all those lovely women will comfort him."

Katsushiro nudged his teacher. "Neh, Sensei! Maybe I should have demanded for your hand in marriage as well."

Kyuzo glowered at the young man. "It will take you ten years more before you can hear a 'Yes' out of me!"

Kikuchiyo blew out oil noisily from the slit of his helmet. Sniffling, he remarked, "Don't you just love a happy ending!"

Grinning, the Elder declared to the two lovers, "Do you swear to love and cherish each other till the end of your days?"

"YES!" was Shichiroji and Kanbei's answer as their faces met in a passionate kiss, eliciting cheers from the farmers and warriors.

The Elder clapped his hands in glee. "Good! Now you can fornicate!"

Kanbei could not believe what he just heard. "GISAKU-SAMA! Can an Elder say something so lewd?"

Before he could say more, Shichiroji lifted the Samurai up in his arms. "You heard the man! Let's you and I head off to the nearest hut!"

"THE NOBUSERI ARE COMING! THEY'RE COMING!"

The Warrior nearly dropped his lover in his frustration. Waving his fists at the heavens, he roared, "Ahura Mazda! Mithras! Devi Mari! Are you angry with me about something?"

"Hey!" Kikuchiyo called out to the lovebirds. "Are you two coming or not?"

"We'll be right along!" Kanbei told the mechanical samurai, as he ran off with their comrades. Gazing lovingly into Shichiroji's blue eyes, he whispered, "Tadaima, Shichiroji."

The Samurai gave his beloved a loving kiss. "Okaeri nasai, Kanbei-sama."


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