Midian Evolution

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Master joined Walter and Integra for lunch in the dining car, but I wasn’t brave enough. I didn’t want to be part of all that tension. I got a deck of playing cards from the man who watched over our accommodations, and attempted making a house of cards. On a train, it was difficult. One good rattle and everything came tumbling down.

Anderson, who’d requested wine, sat and drank while watching me. I felt accustomed to his silent attention by now, so he didn’t distract me much. “Why don’ yeh just use your devilish magic to keep th’ cards in place?” he asked after about an hour.

“That’s cheating,” I said, putting another wall up very carefully. “The challenge won’t mean anything if I cheat.”

Anderson nodded as if he approved. He took a long drink of wine. “Hand over tha’ eight of spades.”

I found the card easily. It seemed to always be close after my house collapsed. I held it out and he looked at it carefully. “What’s wrong with it?” I asked.

“It’s the same as the others,” he said in a mysterious voice, but he tucked the card into his inner pocket. “So, I see it matters to ya that everythin’ be fair. Yeh know, life isnae fair.”

“I know, I know,” I said impatiently. “I’ve heard that since I started walking. With that attitude, nothing ever will be fair. Maybe if people wanted things to be fair, it would happen.” This was a sore spot with me. Nothing ever changed when everyone followed the same old ideas.

Anderson chuckled. “Lass, a true balance is impossible. Black and white, right and wrong, God and Satan, fair or unfair, it all goes to th’ forces of the universe battlin’ for dominance.”

His philosophy didn’t surprise me. He’d made a choice to become God’s Divine Punishment. “A coin has two sides,” I argued. “Take away one side and there’s no coin left at all.” I thought my argument rather sound.

“Fine.” Anderson reached back into his pocket and drew out a silver coin. Catching my eye, he tossed it into the air. It came down and landed to show me a picture of an eagle. “If life could be fair, tha’ coin had a chance of landing on its edge,” he declared. “When did ya ever see a coin toss end up like that?”

I picked up the money and looked at it. An eagle on one side and a head on the other. “Who’s this?” I asked him, briefly ignoring the debate. “What is this coin? It couldn’t even land on its side, because the edge is worn off!”

“It’s a shekel, and that’s Baal,” Anderson informed. “An’ ah think the fact that it couldnae fall on its edge proves my point. Human beings are wha’ made that coin lose its edge; humans are the ones that make grey out of black and white.”

I saw what he got at; this thing was ancient. Who knew how many hands it had touched before coming to rest in mine? “The basic idea is the same,” I said firmly, defending my opinion. “There are still two sides.” I handed the coin back and looked at him. “Which side are you?”

Anderson sighed and rolled his eyes. “On this coin, neither,” he answered, and I heard he knew I meant more than choosing a side of the shekel.

“Why are you carrying that?” I asked softly, interested. Anderson had a lot of depth; he presented tons more in his personality than just gleefully killing the Undead. “You can’t use it anywhere.”

The paladin got out his Bible and opened it with practiced familiarity. He showed me where to read, but he didn’t let me touch his holy book. I squinted at the tiny writing before orienting on where he pointed. “Then Judas, which had betrayed Him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, 4 Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. 5 And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.”

I sat back and stared at the ex-priest of Iscariot. “I get it,” I said. “Are you carrying rope, too?” I didn’t really expect the answer to be ‘yes’, and smiled at him.

Anderson reached into his coat and brought out a coil of rope that terminated into a noose. His smirk at my dumbfounded expression got me to giggling. I rolled backward and knocked over my teetering house of cards.

“I could use a joke about now,” Master said as he slid into the compartment. “What’s so funny?”

“Master,” I said, fighting through giggles and slippery cards to sit up. “Angel Dust has a rope to hang himself with!”

“Don’t we all?” Master replied mysteriously, watching Anderson tuck his noose away.

I shrugged and abandoned the cards rather than get caught up in another philosophical debate. Anderson and Alucard could talk like that to each other if they wanted; I’d had enough depth for awhile.

Alucard gathered the cards up with just a thought and a small motion. They stacked neatly on our tiny table. Silently, Anderson gave him the eight of spades, which he looked at for a long time before putting on the top of the deck.

“All right,” I said, irritated. “What the problem with that card?” Again, people kept things from me. I hated that.

“There’s no problem with the cards,” Alucard said, infuriatingly close to Anderson’s answer. “They’re made by machine, now, and very precisely. Gambling demands such exactitude.” He held a hand down to me and assisted me from the floor. “We need to sleep awhile, sotie,” he said, changing the subject.

I was being misdirected. I never liked that, and I never could leave loose ends. However, I did need sleep. I ached to sleep, as a matter of fact. Even a few hours would go a long way to making me feel better. I shelved the issue and collapsed on the tiny bed, promising myself to pursue this the very moment I could.

Alucard wedged me against the wall with his lean body, promptly assuming ownership by draping long arms over and around me. Despite being a little bit angry at him, I enjoyed the contact. I put my ear over his heart, listening to it beat.

Would mine ever start again?

I drifted, dozed, aware of Anderson drinking wine just a short distance from us. The rhythmic sound of him shuffling cards, their sharp snaps against each other, surfaced some of my curiosity again, but I soon abandoned any real thought. All that existed was Alucard.

You aren’t making Anderson leave us? I asked him.

He stiffened at hearing my mental voice for the first time since our argument about it. I almost expected him to reject my question and ignore me. A few seconds of silence passed, then one of his hands dropped to my hip and spread out. I use him to guard us right now, he admitted. Since he’s concerned about you, Seras, it isn’t a fight between us.

A lot has happened. I laced my fingers with his and lost myself in breathing his scent for a little while, my ideas moving so sluggishly as to almost not move at all. Why does it bother you, Master, that I love you?

A sigh rippled through my head. If your love was blind adoration, I’d stand on firm ground. If your love was possessive fire, I’d know how to use it. He tightened his grip on me, making me glad I didn’t have to breathe. You’ve linked me to an emotion I have no business with, Seras. Worse, your expectations have no small amount of control over me. You lead this bond, remember?

You could kill me, I said.

Making an audible growl, Alucard gave me a little shake. And have your ghost follow me through eternity, tormenting? That’s a fine solution. How would I have any measure of control, then? At least while you’re in physical form I can bully you, toss you around, and hang onto the hope I’ll have an earthly reward for putting up with you.

I snickered against his chest. You deserve the arse pain of me.

I didn’t deny that the first time you said it. He loosened his grip and nuzzled my hair. You do entertain me, sotie. You’re unpredictable, thought-provoking, and rewarding to teach.

Warmed, I smiled. Anything else?

Yes. You have lovely breasts.