Bordellos on the wind

[Insert Brain Here, Please!]

"So, we go to kill a vamp., we find the vamp.,

[and we have too much punctuation in the first sentence of this chapter]

and now we're after some men in black suites and riding antique motorcycles."

[Black suites? How come everyone is wearing rooms? How fat are these people?]

"Glad you were paying attention."

[So who’s talking?]

Castle, in his cab, pulled up to them. Adrian climbed in, but D walked down to the corner of the building, to the sound of roaring engines.

He glanced into the alley to see a dozen motorcycles all lined up, almost all of them with a rider on them. "Come on Moos, shake it off. Raseeda wants us back, ASAP."

[Talking motorcycles?]

'Moos?' It couldn't be.

[Yes it can be. Especially with all this contrivance]

"I'm goin' as fast as I can. You go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"Don't take too long." All the cycles with riders started to move.

[If the ones without riders moved, I’d be surprised.]

D leapt up to the ledge above, as they rode past.

[Ledge? What the?]

"Need some help with him?" Adrian was at his side immediately.

"No, I need to talk to this one." D sailed into the alley,

[When was he on a boat?]

blocked the door closed with a garbage bin,

[What door? Alleys don’t have doors.]

drew his sword and laid it across the man's throat, before the man could turn at the sound of the bin moving.

"What do you want!" he asked,

[A goddamn question mark!]

trying to fasten his pants.

[Fasten his pants? What was he doing? Peeing in the alley?

People are peeing in alleys, a woman gave birth to a machine, and bad guys on motorcycles are looking for it. It’s X-files!

The spellchecker is out there]

"You do that, and I'll cut it off," D regarded the man.

[Why wouldn’t D want him to fasten his pants?

Why wouldn’t the author use the word ‘said?’]

Short light brown hair, slender face, glasses, and a mustache.

[There’s no verb in that sentence.]

He wasn't well built either. "Richard Moos?"

"How do you know my name?"

[It’s too dumb to forget. Plus Kale’s been going on and on about it]

"She loved you, she still does."

"What are you talking about?"

"The girl you're looking for. Kale."

[Yes, D. Tell the bad guys exactly what they want when they are at your mercy]

"Barrett? Kally Anne Barrett? Oh shit! I prayed it wasn't her."

"How'd you survive?"

[A hell of a lot of contrivance!]

"Long story. Look. I gotta see her. Please! You choose the place. I'll be there, alone! I swear!" D took his sword away. "Please, ask her. I'm a man of my word!

[Unfortunately, the word being ‘cheese.’]

Please!"

"The park. Center fountain, just before Dawn. If you're not alone, I swear, I will kill you! Slowly and pain fully."

[D kills everyone quick and painlessly, no matter what.]

"Park. Center fountain, before dawn. I'll be there."

[This guy can’t do anything but repeat what everyone else says, what is this ‘Master of Disguise?]’

He turned, hiding his genitalia with his hands.

[Both hands? Was he jacking off?]

"Who are you...?" But no one was there; the garbage bin had also been moved back from the door.

[Like I said, alleys don’t have doors. Where the hell is this?]

"He's alive?" Kale sat in the room, D telling her about Moos.

[D’s not the one to play April Fools jokes, so yes, he is alive.]

"He wants to see you. If you want to, I told him where. I'll be there, Adrian & Castle will be there too."

"He's alive.

[You already said that, move on to another sentence]

How?"

[Well, you survived by magic Jell-O, so I’m guessing he did too.]

"He said it was a long story.

[This already is a long story.]

I guess he'll tell you. If you see him."

[No, he’ll tell you if you’ll hear him. Unless he uses sign language.]

"I have to, D. Just as you needed to see Doris."

[So now it’s Kale’s turn to see the person she loves and them kick them in the face by turning them down as rudely as possible?]

"All right. Get some rest. I'll wake you when its time to go."

[How come she can’t sleep on her own? Why does she always need someone to tell her to sleep?]

The park was dark. The fountains were quiet for the night. The center of the park was relatively devoid of trees. A good place, nowhere to hide. D was perched on top of one of the light poles, easy to see around, and within easy reach of Kale.

[Either Kale is really tall, or that’s a short lampost.]

A noise.

[What about the noise? What did the noise do? Where’s the rest of the sentence?]

An engine, antique four stroke motorbike, moving fast.

[Still not a sentence.]

Just one.

[When do we get to the real sentences?]

It burst from the trees and headed for the fountain. D threw one of his smaller daggers and took out the front tire.

[Which would make the motorcycle swerve, crash, burst into flames, and would kill the rider. So much for a lover’s reunion]

The bike wobbled and crashed to the ground, the rider tumbling free and clear, leapt to his feet and headed for the fountain. "Kally Anne!" Kale didn't move. The man stopped and pulled off his helmet. "Kally, its me Moos."

Kale turned quickly and landed a roundhouse kick to the left side of his face, landing him in the fountain.

[Why is she only violent when she doesn’t need to be? He’s already been thrown off a motorcycle and miraculously survived, why smack him into a fountain?]

"Kally! What the hell was that for!!" he gasped, shaking the water from his eyes.

[For not using a damn question mark!]

"For leaving me! For not asking me...for not wanting me, the way...the way I wanted you."

[By her logic, Doris can shoot D with her gun as many times as she wants because he didn’t reciprocate her feelings.]

She reached into the fountain and pulled the man into a kiss.

Abruptly ending it she continued. "How the hell did you survive?"

"I didn't...

[Then why the hell are you here? Are you some kind of zombie?]

look can I get out of this water please.

[Look, can use use a question mark and comma please.]

It's freezing, and you know how much I hate cold water."

She drew the dagger D had given her, and held it to his throat. "Talk!"

[He’s already talking. Try saying ‘explain!]’

"Ok, just watch it with that thing. I already shaved today."

"Funny.

[No it isn’t.]

You seem to have missed a spot."

[That’s not funny either.]

"Ok, ok, ok. Here's the scoop. When I heard you went missing, I kept tabs on the search progress.n twn two years later I learned about an experimental suspension program. They'd grabbed people off the street to work out the bugs on them.

[There were bugs crawling around on the Jell-O? Ick.]

But they couldn't.

[Damn cockroaches are indestructible.]

I went AWOL, looking for you.

[f you’re in the army, but aren’t built well, are you in their accounting department or something? How does an accountant go AWOL?]

I knew, in here," he tapped his chest,

[You knew what had happened because you had heartburn?]

"they'd grabbed you. They caught me before I got close, but I did eventually find you.

"They were supposed to snap your brain stem.

[But, seeing as how dumb you already are, they thought that would be overkill.]

Kill you, but keep you alive.

[That doesn’t work. Those two are opposites. Has the author not heard of the word ‘braindead?’]

You were used to hold a special cloning cell. The device inside you..."

[Cloning cell? If it didn’t look like she was pregnant, that must be one damn tiny cloning cell. Are you trying to make an army of Lego-people?

I think I’ll call it...Mini-Mary Sue!]

"...Was inside me..." she corrected.

[Yes, tell the person working for the bad guys important information. That makes sense]

"What ever. There's the cloned fetus of one of old Earth's military leaders. One of the worst. Complete with memories. Memories of where the rest of the aare,are, and storage facilities of Nukes and other weapons.

[Why do you guys want to clone this guy in the first place? Why are you working for them?]

"The leader of my ark didn't survive. The clones were hatched

[Hatched? What were you cloning? Reptiles? Birds?]

and began salvaging what they could. Kally, could you just back off with the blade."

[Could you use a damn question mark.]

She did slightly. "Thanks. Look, somehow, back then, they forgot to snap your brain."

[They thought it had already been snd, cd, considering how dumb you are]

"I have a scar, I fell, and it left a scar at the base of my skull."

"Then that's it. That scar saved you, and doomed you at the same time. Kally, I'm a clone. One in a long, long line. My real body is in a tank on the ship.

[Ship? What ship? Ship on the water or ship in the sky? Why do the bad guys have a ship?]

I haven't got much time. I left a note for my next clone,

[Pick up: Milk
Eggs
Bread
Plot]

after I downloaded my memory last night. Clones only last five years.

[Since when?]

And my time is almost up.

"There's more. Don't talk, just listen. That goo they had you in, it has side effects. You're sterile.

[Me: (Cheers and does a victory dance)]

I know you wanted kids, there's one more. Shit I'm cold...Kally. You'll never grow old."

[How con-trived-venient.]

He started coughing, and his face became pale, paler than before. "...the stuff, it halts the aging process. Kally, promise me. Promise me, you'll stop them.
Promise me you'll kill me. For sure!"

"Moos...NO!"

"Promise me..."

"I promise...Please don't...MOOS!! Don't leave me again! MOOS!!" He died.

[Yeeha! One down two to go!]

She held him close, wishing he'd hold her back.

"Never grow old. Oh D, she's perfect."

[No she isn’t. She’s an immortal doormat.]

"Shut up." D watched her as she cried over the man's body. Her former lover, or was he.

[Or was he what? Doesn’t ‘or’ imply a question, and thus a question mark?]

A clone, a perfect copy. Even his memories. He looked up. More motorcycles were coming.

[He had to look up to see motorcycles? Are the bad guys dropping motorcycles on them from a blimp or plane?]

Two lights flashed. The cab was on the move. Another light flashed. Adrian signaling for them to move. He leapt from the light pole

[I thought D was on the lightpole. What’s Adrian doing up there? And how many lights does this car have?]

and used his powers to lower himself just two steps from Kale. The cab screeched to a halt, the doors flying open.

[Adrian: Whoever’s doing that, leave the English language alone!
D: But it’s fun.
Adrian: You can run for president later!]

"Kale! We have to go!" he tried to grab Kale and scoop her up, but her grip on the dead man wouldn't let go.

[Her grip wouldn’t let go?]

"Let's go, they're entering the park!" shouted Adrian, leaping the cab and sliding into the front seat.

[How do you leap over a cab and then slide into the front seat?]

"We can't leave him!" she cried, as D wrenched her hands free of the dead man's collar.

[D: Yes, we can. Watch.]

"Kale! We have to go!" He yelled, and practically threw her into the back of the cab and sped off.

[D sped off? Wouldn’t getting in the cab, too, be faster?]

He watched the center fountain become surrounded by dozens of cycles; they seemed to have gotten away without being seen.

[The cycles got away? What’s going on here?]

"No, Commander Raseeda. Lt. Moos is dead. Clone end date hit right on schedule. No sign of the girl. Though she was here sir."

"Proof?"

[Bird seed everywhere. No one else is that parakeety.]

"Oh yeah." The man looked over the dead clone's face. Bruises across the left side of his face a thi thin cut just under the chin.

[He couldn’t have been mugged?]

"Bring the body back for disposal. We've located the cell. Any ideas whtheythey've gone?"

"Guards reported a taxi leaving the park's service entrance just as we were getting on the scene. They're tailing them."

"Don't loose them."

"No sir. Travis out."

[Travis? Who’s Travis? Why didn’t you SAY they were using walkie-talkies? Why did they only use ONE cell to clone this guy? Why not make a few backups? Make a whole army of this guy?]

"This is the safe house?" asked D, stepping from the cab.

"It's open, with lots of heavy objects to use as weapons," said Castle.

[To be safer, you guys might want it closed. If not locked.]

"Oh, watch your step. There's a pool in front of you." He threw the main switch and the lights came on.

[Why throw the switch? Wouldn’t it be easier to flip the switch?]

D was only an inch from the water. "Bedrooms are back here. Showers at the end of the hall. If you want a swim, help yourself. I keep the water warm."

[We didn’t need to know that little detail.]

D tested the water.

[D, don’t test it! Just believe him when he says he pees in the pool.]

It was warm, like the bath he'd had before he left the western world.

[Unless he’s been taking cold baths, I recommend taking another bath ASAP.]

"A word of warning, D. I shower alone, no one else. Clear?" D nodded. "Good. Well I'm beat. If you need me, Alucard knows where to find me. I sleep soundly, but I wake fully alert." Castle disappeared down a hall,

[A hall? There’s more than one?]

a light came on and a door closed.

"So what did he say?" asked Adrian.

[Weren’t you right there? Are you deaf? Where have you been?]

Kale sat down and pulled off her boots, she then stood and pulled off her clothes all accept her white body suite. Adrian smiled. "Very nice." He said, making a move to remove his cape, but a sidelong glance from D stopped him.

[What’s wrong with removing his cape? He’s still got all his other clothes on.]

"I was a guinea pig," she said.

[And now you’re a parakeet.]

"They used me to fix their suspension experiments, and when that didn't work, they used me to store clones.

[No, clone, singular. I’m actually surprised ONE clone can fit into that tiny machine.]

Clones of monsters and all their memories! You think you've got horrible monsters now?

[Yes. And they do have horrible monster now. What are you whining about? You never met this guy.]

You haven't seen aing ing yet!

[Neither have you.]

D, we've got to destroy that device."

[And by ‘we’ she means ‘you’.]

"I will. Will you be all right here?" She nodded. "Good. Adrian, I'm trusting you to keep her safe. But don't touch her."

[So, if she drowns, he’ll have to sit there and watch, or fish her out with a net?]

"I swear, I won't."

"Good. I'll be back soon." He turned in time to see Kale dive into the water.

[Why? She can’t swim. I hope she’s committing suicide.]

"Don't let her drown." Adrian nodded.

[Damn. Now Adrian has to rescue Mary Sue without touching her and she jumped into a pool she can’t swim in, in the first place!]

The clinic was a mess. The chalk outlines of bodies were everywhere. Bullet holes, actual bullet holes, were strewn all over the walls and furniture.

[What’s an actual bullet hole? Are there fake bullets that make fake holes?

How can holes, the absence of matter, be strewn anywhere?]

The smell of blood was everywhere. He headed back to the doctor's office, but stopped at the cold storage doors. A bloody handprint over the handle, invisible to anyone who didn't first smell the blood.

[A sentence fragment, invisible to anyone who does not know grammar]

He opened the door and the doctor stumbled out, half frozen.

[Or half-thawed, depending if you’re an optimist or pessimist]

"What happened here?" D demanded.

"It's too late for me...too late for us.

[No, it isn’t. If you can talk coherently, you’ll be fine. Just get warm as soon as possible.]

They've...they've got the monster. They.... they called it....called it a cell...but they need...they need ...the girl!" The dying man grabbed at D with icy fingers.

[Dying? Why would he be dying?]

"Kill her...kill the girl...and you stop...stop them."

[That’s what I’VE been saying all along!]

He died, his last word his final breath.

[Why did he die? What’s going on here? Someone send this author to high school so they can learn REAL biology!]

D wrenched himself free and left, taking a blood bag with him. Blood lust, why at the most inopportune times.

[No, he’s just being greedy and stealing it. He is in control of his bloodlust, which by the way is ONE WORD!]

Adrian walked down the corridor and returned with towels and a housecoat, on his way back, he noticed Castle's door slightly ajar. "A moment," he called softly, and returned to the pool. "Here are some towels and a housecoat for when you get out." He turned to see D re-enter the old health club, a look of failure across his face. "I'm going to turn in. Good night, or day, or whatever.

[This being Alaska, I can’t tell.]

Your bags are still in the trunk, keys are in the car."

[You locked your keys in the car?]

D stood at the pool's edge watching Kale. She was on her back at the water's surface,

[Quick! Get a net and a huge toilet!]

just using her feet to propel her from one end of the pool to the other. "I thought you said you couldn't swim?" he called.

"When was that?"

"When you emerged from the suspension tank."

"I'm sorry, I don't remember that."

[That’s the explanation? She can’t remember so it must be possible? She must have forgotten all biology, and that must be what fucked it all up. Don’t let her forget anything else!]

"Well, maybe it was just that stuff.

[There’s that much of a difference between swimming in Jell-O and swimming in water?]

Kale, come on. You need to get some sleep. You've been up all night."

[Why does everyone have to tell her this? Why can’t SHE decide when to sleep?]

Kale didn't sleep when D told her to. She couldn't, not with Moos out there. Now he was dead, or sort of. She swam over to the ladder and D held out a towel as she climbed out of the water. "I made a promise, D. He knows I always keep my promises. He never asked me to make one before."

He held her close as she cried. "Then I'll help you keep it." He said, drying her hair. "Come on, let's get you showered out of this chlorine. Then off to bed."

She followed him to the showers wherelaidlaid the towels on a bench and reached over and turned on the hot water. He adjusted it with the cold and nodded to her it was ready.

[She can’t even work her own shower? How dumb is she? Or has D suddenly decided to cater to her every petty need?]

She stood next to him, looking him over. He'd removed his cloak when they entered the showers, finding it a bit too warm. He'd laid his hat on the bench with the towels, basically, he was just a man standing there, long hair and soft blue eyes.

[He was a man, hair, and eyes? Why are those three things separate? Now there’s a pair of eyeballs and a bunch of hair floating around.]

When he turned to leave, to allow her - her privacy,

[A hyphen cannot replace a comma.]

he stopped. Her eyes were soft, tired and tear filled. But something else was there.

[Pupils? Corneas?

Stupidity?]

He used his thumbs to wipe her tears, she nuzzled into his hands. He stepped closer. Would she let him?

[Let him what? How would anyone know the answer if he doesn’t finish his question?]

She looked into his eyes, yes. He kissed her, gently at first, working her lips apart, his tongue sliding past her teeth. His blood lust calmed by the hospital blood he'd consumed, he prayed she wouldn't taste it.

[And if she did, d asd assume he bit his tongue. Or that she bit it]

Fearing she might, he stepped back. His eyes asking, hers answering.

[I never knew eyes had vocal cords]

He removed his belts and boots, and stepped into the shower with her,

[Ruining his leather pants and his dry-clean only shirt.]

rinsing the pool water off of her and her thin covering. He kissed her again, a desperate need rising in them both.

]Brains! Brains!

Imhotep... Imhotep...]

Minds lost in a passion neither of them cold control, nor did they want to.

[Could their minds at least make that a real sentence?]

D pulled the collar of her suite, its elastic fabric stretching and sliding off her easily.

[There is no fabric that stretches that much. Her ‘suite’ would need a zipper.]

He stepped back slightly and pulled off his shirt.

[He hasn’t taken his gloves off. How’s he going to pull his shirt off if the sleeves are stuck in he gloves?

Hand: I wanna see!]

He lifted her, her legs going to either side of his hips; he pressed her to the wall, kissing her neck and shoulder, squeezing her brs.
s.

[D: Honk, honk. (It is that bad)

So what’s holding her up?]

She combed his newly damp hair with her fingers, sliding her tongue around his ear. He lowered his pants to his knees, his erection dingding out from his body.

[If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be an erection.]

A moment's glance told him, yes. He pushed into her, her body opening to his size. She gasped, almost a delighted cry.

[Almost? He’s that bad?]

He was big.

[I doubt she’d be doing this with him if he were small.]

He pushed into her further, her back straightening as he did ThisThis time she did cry out. One that echoed through the room and dripped with desire that spurred him further.

[Sound drip Is Is this like painting with all the colors of the wind?]

He pinned her to the wall, and thrust into her,

[He can’t thrust into her again without pulling out first, otherwise, it’s just thrusting, no ‘into’.]

his strength holding her up,

[It would be safer if his hands were hol her her up, otherwise, she’s going to slip on the wet wall, crash on the floor, and die in the middle of sex.

Wotta way to go.]

her weight pushing her onto him. He wanted more.

[D: Hey, Castle? Come here for a minute!]

But this was not the place.

[It sure was three seconds ago.]

He pulled himself free and let her slide to the floor as he replaced his trousers.

[Let her slide? No, he pull out and she crashed, broke her head, and died. I hope she stays dead.]

"Not here," he whispered, and turned off the water. He kissed her once more as he lifted her into his arms

[With WHAT? His legs?]

and took her to his room.

He kicked the door closed and laid her on the bed.

[Health clubs have beds?

Wow. Laid her on the bed. That is the fastest sex I’ve ever heard of.]

He quickly removed his pants and stretched out over her, his only clothing left were his gloves.

[Hand: Get on with it! You’re doin’ it wrong!]

He kissed his way down her body, parting her legs; he std tod to kiss her.

[He can’t start if he’s already doing it]

Her taste was sweet, to him at least. The taste of her moon blood

[Moon blood? What the fuck is that? Is she some sort of alien Oh Oh it IS her period. Moon blood. Eew.]

was like an aphrodisiac, driving his senses wild in a desire he'd only known once before.

[With the Boy Scouts.]

He gentlckedcked her at first, and then grabbed her clit in his teeth,

[That sounds painful.]

sending firots ots of pleasure through her as he sucked the tiny nub into his mouth.

[If he’s only done this once before, how come he knows exactly what to do?]

She cried loudly, not wanting him to stop. He held her legs down as his teasing continued. She pushed her fingers through his hair, wishing she could grasp his tool,

[D: What time is it?
Kale: Tool Time!]

wanting to teas him just as much. Sensing her need to please him, or perhaps he wanted it now too, he lay beside her,

[Why’d he stop? Mr. Happy isn’t going anywhere! Shouldn’t he finish cunnilingus before she gives him a blowjob? Maybe he isn’t that skilled at this after all.]

his erection standing in the dim light. Without urging or a request, she kissed her way down his stomach, lingering at his navel, licking it cl

[Having someone lick the lint out of my bellybutton doesn’t sound the least bit sexy.]

seeins fas face contort with this new sensation.

[Utter disappointment.]

Never had he had his navel soothed in such a way. He was lost in the feeling when he was snapped back. She'd taken him into her mouth, her tongue sliding around his tip, now it was his turn to cry out. He rose slightly, supporting his weight on his elbows. She pulled his shaft into her mouth,

[She already did this. Does he have two, or did she stop and then start again?]

sucking slightly, letting herself linger as his tool touched the back of her throat. Shid bid back up his shaft and repeated the down strokes

[Down strokes? Don’t you mean downWARD?]

driving him wild. She let him go then, licking his length and caressing his testicles in gentle hands. He couldn't take it.

[It was so awful.]

He tackled her to the bed, pushing his tool to its hilt into her, hard and fast.

[Yet again, they stop in the middle of one kind of sex just to start another kind. This is so weird.]

She loved it. He thrintointo her agand and again, their moans turning to cries, and hers nearly a scream as her body contracted around him. He responded, and shot all he had inside her,

[First, orgasming isn’t a response, you can’t decide to orgasm. Second, a male’s body is constantly producing more sperm and only a certain amount of those little guys is ejaculated at a time.]

neither of them worried of the consequences anymore.

[Neither of them EVER worried about the consequences]

He kissed her to quiet her, believing Adrian would hear and come to investigate.

[If he hasn’t already with her crying out so much, he’s either deaf or dead.]

Her cries of ecstasy reverberated across his lips, his tool softening slightly inside her. He didn't want to leave her, not yet. He rolled over pulling her with him,

[Better be with his HANDS.]

finding new sensations that revived him; he pulled her down onto him. She kissed him as she sat up, bringing him with her, his n inn inching ever deeper. He rocked her back and forth on him feeling her quake with each delightful movement. Suddenly she started to scream, her body thrust into another orgasm.

[Do people actually scream during sex?]

He pulled her onto his shaft harder,

[‘Shaft?’ ‘Tool?’ ‘Organ’ What’s wrong with writing ‘penis’?]

wanting every bit of his tool to feel her shacking.

[Tool? Shacking? Are they building a house?

This puts a new spin on barn-raising]

Both brlessless, they rested, she on top of him, he still within her. It was close to an hour before she found the strength to move.

[Neither of them ever orgasmed this whole time.]

But when she did, it was only to his side, holding him close. "I think, if we continue, we'll need something to divert Adrian and Castle's attention,"

[Why? They haven’t noticed yet with her screaming her head off.]

he said, something, anything to break this silence. "Where's your music?" He sHe says THAT after having sex with her? Damn, D’s less romantic that I thought.]

"In the trunk of the car, I think."

"I'll get it."

"No, no. I'll go. You should go gather our clothes." She kissed him quickly and ducked out the door when she was sure it was clear, a sheet from the shelf around her.

[Yes, go out to the car, which is outside, completely defenseless, where the bad guys are]

As she quietly walked back to where the car had been parked, she passed Castle's door. Inside she could hear the noises of two males, in their own motions of ecstasy.

[She could hear their motions?]

'Oh well,' she thought, 'that kind of thing when on in my time too.

[She says this as if she invented yaoi. It went on WAY before her time as well.]

I wonder if D knows.'

[I wonder if D cares. What’s D got to do with his brother’s sex life?]

She exchanged the sheet for the terry cloth robe Adrian had brought with the towels, and that D had left at the pool.

[Two guys left one article of clothing for her?]

She then reached in the car and got the keys, popped the trunk and grabbed her bags.

[Most cars have a lever near the drivers seat so you can pop the trunk without the keys.]

She didn't remember when she was hit.

[She didn’t expect to be? She’s been wandering around in the biggest cliche ever and she doesn’t expect the bad guys to attack in her?]

But she couldn't have been out for very longe wae was still at the car's trunk when they woke her, sticking a gun to her head. "Where are they, bitch? Or so help me, I'll blow you away!"

[Why do you care where the others are? All you need is her.]

"You ass! We need her alive. Look at her, you hit her too hard. She can't answer you."
Mustering all her strength and ignoring the pain that was spreading across the back of her skull, she took a deep breath and called out as loud as shuld.uld. "D!! They found US!! D!!"

[She finally did something smart. Who’d have thought?

Not me.]

D threw the clothing he'd gathered to the floor and ran for Kale.

[He’s running naked?
Me: (whistles)
D: Put that wall back!]

Adrian and Castle immerging from Castle's room,

[The tenses being messed up again.

Immerging is going into. Emerging is leaving.]

right behind D, barely dressed themselves. Gunfire rang out from behind the car

[Why? They aren’t outside yet. What are they shooting at?]

as the trio neared the end of the hall, sending them diving back,

[A hallway that leads to a garage?]

D being grazed on his arm and leg on his left side. "Castle!" D shouted, "Where are your...Castle? You're a woman?"

[Yes, this is the perfect time to ask someone’s gender, especially since you’re BEING FIRED AT.]

"So what of it.

[Yeah, so what? Isn’t survival more important?]

Not all mutants have weird powers or disgusting deformities you know!"

"Look can we discuss this later!" Adrian stated, pulling them all to the floor as bullets hit the wall, just shy of their heads.

"Castle, where are your laser guns?" asked D.

"I don't have any," he/she shrugged.

[He/she? So much for the ‘no deformities’ thing.

Why is he asking for laser guns if Castle has none? Does he just ask for random weapons from people?]

"It costs to keep this place. But if you want them, or some of them, alive, pull the red lever at the end of the hall. I guarantee you'll love it."
D crawled along the floor to the end of the hall, barely missed by centimeters by the bullets they fired. "Get the bitch out of here!" he heard one yell, as the guns were reloaded. D reached up and pulled the lever.

T[hat’s it? That’s all it does, stop the paragraph? I want my money back! Wait, this fic was fr.
.

I want to get paid for reading this. It is so bad.]


Some use to say it rained cats and dogs outside,

[Other people said it would be good to keep the tensesaighaight.]

but in this place, it rained barbell weights and hand weights. The intruders screamed and pulled the fallen forms of the colleagues over them for protection.

[That’s not really going to protect them from falling weights.]

After the heavy weights stopped falling, the three approached the intruders, most dead, some unconscious. "She's not here," said Adrian, as D started to unbury one of the survivors.

"Where is she?!" he growled, throwing the man against the car.

[What man? Who said this?]

"D, you're hurt!" declared Adrian, seeing D's blood all over his arm and leg. D ignored him and struck the man to wake him.

[Considering how fast he heals, I’d ignore it too.]

"WHERE?!"

"The bitch is on her way back to the tank!"

[Tank?thouthought the bad guys had a ship.]

the man said. D grabbed his neck and lifted him off the floor.

"If you want to live, you'll not call her that again! Where have they taken her!"

[This isn’t the time to protect the woman’s honor, it’s time to protect the WOMAN.]

"D, I hate to interrupt, but he can't tell you anything if you strangle him," said Adrian, hopping up to the roof of the car and sitting down.

[Car? They’re still in the hallway. How’d the car get here?]

"Now put him down like a good boy. That's it. Now, my dear man, I apologize for my older brother's actions. But you see, he's extremely fond of the woman, and I would love to see them reunited.

[The two idiots deserve each other.]

Now, I shall ask you. Nicely,"

[Why? Why are you being polite when he is completely at your mercy?]

Adrian barred his fangs

[He put bars on his fangs? Is he trying to do his braces himself?]

and shone his green eyes.

[He can shine his eyes? Did his eyeballs turn into lightbulbs and he shines them like flashlights?]

"and if you don't answer, I'm afraid you won't survive." The man screamed. "No? Well...oh look, on you your playmates survived as well. D?"

D grabbed the second man and hauled him to his feet. "Watch closely," said D forcing the man to look at his comrade. "If we don't get answers, this will happen to you." The man wad ind in horror as Adrian sank his fangs into the soldier's neck.

[Adrian’s on the car. The man is being held up by D while D holds someone else. How damn long are his fangs?]

The victim screamed as the Dhampire drained his blood.

[That’s two gallons of blood. Adrian is going to make himself sick, imbibing that much.]

He'd heard of vampires, but he never thought they really existed, despite the superstitions of the people around the world.

Adrian released the soldier, and he fell dead to the floor.

[Why did Adrian die?]

"Now!" rumbled D, turning the second soldier around. "Where?!"

"The ship!" he stammered,

[That doesn’t really clarify things.

I thought she was going to a tank. Can’t the author make up her mind whether its a tank or ship?]

"It moves all the time. Use the bikes outside.

[Bikes will get you to a spaceship...right.]

They've got a homing system.

[That still won’t help them get TO the ship, nor does it really explain where the ship is. D’s pretty intimidating for a naked guy.]

Please, don't' kill me like that. Please."

"There, you see brother. They can play nice. Castle, let me give you a hand." Adrian turned back to D, as the soldier screamed, D's left hand around his throat, gloveless. "Oh well, at least 'you' didn't bite him."

[Why is ‘you’ in quotes?]

D dropped the corpse to the floor. "If we're going to get her back, we're going to need help. Castle, where's your city phone?"

[Castle: I don’t have that either. Why do you keep asking for things I don’t have?]

"Kitchen, down the hall, take a left before the showers. Watch out for the mouse traps."

[Mouse traps D has to look out for? Those are fuck off big mice.]

Castle then looked around at her home. "You know, it took me nearly a year to get all this up there. I should have made some kind of automatic reload system."

[Or thought about that in the first place.]


She was thrown to the floor, clothed once more in the white body suite she'd woken in months ago.

[How did they get it? D left it in the showers.]

The room wasn't that much, an 8 foot cube, all dirty white walls.

[No floor or ceiling? I’m not surprised. They finally get walls and there’s nothing else]

She threw her weight against where the door had closed,

[Like the parakeet she really is]

hoping it would open. It didn't.

[If it did, you wouldn’t say ‘hopin it would open’ would you?]

"Bastards!!" she yelled pounding on the door. "If I get my hands on you, I'll..."

[You’ll what? Fuck ‘em? NOT cook stew for them? Tweet your head off and spill birdseed everywhere?]

"You'll what?" asked a voice over her head. The right wall had opened to show a man in a uniform. She lunged at him, only to run head long into a clear wall.

[Stupid parakeet, windows are for humans...wait, that’s not right]

The man laughed. "Plexiglas. Three inches of it. Isn't it wonderful stuff?"

[Especially since there’s not ventilation here. She’ll suffocate. Yay!]

"Who are you!"

[Guy: Someone who doesn’t use a question mark either!]

"My name, not that it matters to you, is Taro Raseeda.

[Taro is a root, so he’s a vegetable too]

I'm commander here. And no, I'm no clone. I'm the real thing. Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh."

[Did he just orgasm? When you’re jacking off in front of a prisoner, it takes all the intimidation away]

He shook his head to her as she again tried to break through the plastic.

[Give her a mirror and she’ll stop ating ing the damn window]

"Look," He pushed a button and the opposite wall opened up the same way, a clear plastic barrier holding back the fluid.

[What fluid? Could you please tell us since we aren’t clairvoyant?]

"I believe you know each other."

[Her and the fluid?]

"Moos," She stepped up to the glass, where on the other side floated her lover from long ago.

[Is he going to give birth to a fax machine too?]

He, too, wore a white suite,

[Hopefully his SUIT doesn’t have breasts]

wires led all over his body, tubes through his nose and mouth and others to his groin.

[Groin? At least it’s better than ‘tool’]

"Moos."

[We have already established his name, Mary Kale Sue. Move on to a new word]

"He's the real thing, and to make you happy, we'll put you back right beside him. Remember this?" Raseeda held up a small cylinder just bigger than his hand.

[A vibrator?]

"Within this cell, is the clone of one of 2005's greatest military leaders.

A[ working vibrator?]

Complete with memories.

[A vibrator for virgins?]

The thing is, this unit needs your specific EM field in order to wake him."

[Why hers?

Planet, shmanet, Janet!]

Doors to her right opened

[I thought to her right was captain Rutabaga or something]

and four men entered, all in medical garb. "Get her back in the tank! I don't know how you were missed, but you won't be this time."

[Considering her personality, I can’t conceive of missing her either]

The medical men forced her to her knees and flipped her hair over her head. "She's all ready got a scar, sir," said one of the medics.

Raseeda took his newly lit cigarette out of his mouth.

[When did he have an unlit ciggarette? When did he light it? Tell me WHAT THE HELL is going on!]

"So that's it. They thought you were already neutralized.

[Scar shmar. Spend five minutes with her and you’d think she’d been neutralized]

No matter. Ready her."

One of the medics ran a device over her and it squealed wildly.

[The only machines that do that are metal detectors and Geiger counters. Either she’s running on radioactive stupidity or she’s a robot]

"She's been seduced."

[It’s a semen detector? What happens if she’s a lesbian?]

"Well," continued Raseeda, " The little whore got it good did she?

[No, from what I read, she got it bad]

Tell me, did you let the clone take you, or is it the Vampire Hunter

[Why is that capitalized? D is just called D, and he’s not the only person who hunts vampires]

who got into your snatch. No answer?

[You expect one?]

Kay. Clean her out. I don't want anything to contaminate the re-implantation of the cell."

[These lego-men-clone-box-fax-machine-vibrators aren’t semen proof?

The author is confusing a vagina and a uterus. You need surgery to get something in a uterus]

Raseeda smiled as Kale screamed. The medics using machines of horrible designs to search her insides for alien cells of any kind.

[The tenses screamed at being so horribly butchered]

She couldn't tell how long they had done this; all she knew was that she was hurting. Even D's presence in her, huge as he was, didn't hurt this much.

[That’s because that was sex, and this is another caesarian]

They again threw her to the floor and left.

[She’s already on the floor. They’re just being violent. Not that I mind, since it’s her]

Leaving her alone with Moos' floating presence.

[That’s not a sentence. Did these medic people take all the verbs too?]

She opened her eyes, determined not to give up. The door opened again, and she could hear soft footsteps. A peace of paper

[paper: Ahhhhh]

appeared in front of her eyes. She took it and quickly read her own language.

[Parakeets have a written language?]

'Years ago you loved her, enough to ruin your career to find her.
Well she's alive. You know it. If they find her all Hell will be
set loose again.

[If ANYONE finds her, all hell will be set loose again]

Its up to you to stop them. Stop them from
getting her back. Stop them from starting the wars all over again.
Don't let me down. Don't let her down, again.'

"He left it for me." She turned, it was Moos.

[Where’d commander vegetable get to? Where are the medical people? Did they go to all this trouble to her the clone-bow-fax-machine-lego-people-machine in her and her in the ‘tank’ and FORGET? How dumb are these people?

Clone-dead-Moos, floating-in-Jell-O-Moos, or Lego-clone-Moos?]

"Can't be..."

"Clones, remember.

[Question marks, remember?]

I've got all he knew too." He brushed her hair off her face. "Kally, I didn't know how much you meant to me, not till you were gone."

[It was actually, a lot less than I thought

If they knew he had the hots for her, why clone him?

And why did her lego-clone-fax-machine wait until she was with Doris to make her sick? Does it have a thing against blondes?]

"Kale. I shortened my name while trying to find a job."

[Why? What does that have to do with anything?]

She looked to Moos' floating form.

[Why did they keep the whole guy? Did they not realize they could get rid of the original once they have an entire string of DNA to clone him from?]

"Why did you look for me? Why did you let them do this to you?"

[You think he had a damn choice?]

"When I learned about the program, I knew, not sure how, but I knew they took you. They shot me trying to break into the New Brunswick facility. I was paralyzed from the waist down. I no cno choice. But if I'd known that I was going to be the source for clones, I think I would have chosen to die. All I cared about at the time was one day being with you again."

[Because everyone wants a parakeet!]

"So, why are you here? Now?"

[He’s a clone, weren’t you listening?]

"I told Raseeda that I could convince you to cooperate."

[Why would they bother? They just need to shove her in, who cares about if she wants to?]

"Fat chance of that!"

"I know." He pulled a small handgun from his pocket.

[Finally! Someone’s going to do the smart thing and shoot her!]

"I made this a long time ago. I was determined to find you, vegetating just like me."

[Vegetating? See, even the author admits they’re veggies]

"You were gona kill me?"

[She’s a vegetable anyway, shoot her now!]

"And then me." He nodded. "Clones only live 5 years.

[Since when?]

The last night we are alive, Raseeda lets us go out and get our rocks off but good.

[Um, what does that mean?]

Our only bit of pleasure allowed.

[A happy clone is an idle clone.

Why are they cloning this guy now? Why do they want the cell now? Why anything now? What’s so important about now?]

I couldn't do that to you."

[He couldn’t let her get her rocks off but good (whatever that is)?]

"Raseeda is bent on putting that cell back in me. I won't let him!" She snatched the tiny pistol from Moos' hand and pointed it to her stomach.

[SOMEONE shot her already!]

"Kally-Kale wait! Cell? What cell?"

"It's in there." She pointed to the room were Raseeda had watched her torture.

"Come on." Making sure no one was around out side the confining room, Moos led Kale to the adjoining observation room. There on a shelf being supplied emergency power, was the cylinder that Raseeda had shown her.

[The vibrator needs recharging? I thought they used batteries]

"Here, look. This is your ark's revival manual. How'd you know to take it?"

"I didn't. D must have grabbed it when he went back in for my stuff. But how'dget get here?"

[Yeah, how DID the damn thing get here? In fact, how the hell did it survive?]

"Never mind."

[No, I want to mind. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? You have a book chasing you! Anyone else weirded out by how it not only survived ten thousand years, but monsters, bugs, and Jell-O? ]

He flipped through the pages to where the list of tank hosts began. He then located Kale's name and the name of the clone in the cell. "Holly shit!"

"What?"

"Captain Death himself."

[Is that like Captain Crunch?]

"Who?"

"Captain Morgan F. (DEATH) Feldman. I served under him once. His name, Death, came from his demeanor.

[He smelled? He couldn’t be avoided? He rode a pale horse? He had a scythe?]

He was cold.

[That would be DEAD, not DEATH, or maybe ICE CUBE]

Heartless didn't begin to describe him. And nuts? He relished the thought of the world going to war."

[So would George W. Bush]

"So why'd they clone him?"

"Says here that he's an admiral. They were automatically cloned.

[What’s an ADMIRAL going to do?]

We've got to destroy that cell. He knows where all the bunkers are."

[So he’s either going to lead a few hundsoldsoldiers, none of which know enough about nukes to operate ‘em, steal one because he doesn’t have the authority, and...what? Throw it at someone?]

"Weapons bunkers?" He nodded.[No,[No, bomb shelters. OF COURSE WEAPONS BUNKERS! What other kind of bunkers would you put nukes in (given that they are ten thousand years old, I doubt they’d still work and probablve dve deteriorated by now)?]

"And if he's brought back. War will start all over again."

[No, war will start anyway. That guy’s not the only bastard around who likes to kill people because they don’t agree with him.]

They looked up at the sound of alarms going off. "We're under attack!" The observation room door burst open, and two soldiers rushed in.

[They’re under attack and the soldiers go to the observation room? DO they think someone’s attacking them there? What exactly can you observe in there anyway?]

"Kale, get under the desk!"

[Desk? Waht desk? Did the shelf turn into a desk, or was there one and we weren’t told about it?]

He pulled his handgun and fired.

[Shouldn’t he cock it rather than pull it?]

The others fired back. Moos fell to the deck wounded,

[deck?]

but kept shooting. The soldiers fell dead. "Kale, you all right?"

"Yeah, you?"

"No biggy."

[If it made you fall, it’s definitely a biggy]

"Moos!" called a man from the door. "Oh shit. Man we gotta get out of here."

"No. Tom, this is Kally. Kale Barrett. She's the one I told you about. Look, get her out of here, will you? Make sure she's safe."

[So con-trived-venient]

"Where are you going?!"

"I'm gona do what I should have done long ago.

[Go to the bathroom? Been a democrat? Burnt your draft card? Shot her?]

I'm gona blow the ship."

[You can jack off later!]

He disappeared down the hall holding his side.

"Come on," said Tom reaching for Kale,

[Tom Reaching For Kale, that’s a long name]

but a shot rang out and he stopped.

She watched as his eyes glazed over and then he slumped over her.

[Well, so much for your convenient rescuer]

A guard, whom Moos had shot, survived just long enough, to fire one last shot. Kale pushed her way out from under the desk. Death, all around her.

[I thought Death was still in the lego-people-clone-fax-machine-vibrator]

"No. It won't start again." She picked up one of the larger handguns and turned for the door.

[How does she know there are bullets in ‘em?]

'One last look.' She thought, and looked to Moos, still floating in the fluid. That fluid, holding him between life and death.

[No, the fluid has nothing to do with it]

Neither living nor dieing.

[Neither spelling nor checking]

Suddenly shots rang out and bullets shot through the glass and into Moos' body, blood clouding the fluid, and lights flashing from above the tank. "Good bye, Moos. I'll always love you." She picked up another gun, dropping the first, now empty, and left, her final card to play tucked under her arms.

[Card? I thought it was a gun
Kale: Anyone here play Russian Roulette Poker?
Bad Guy: SHARK!
Kale:Aaaaaaaaah!]

D and Adrian crouched behind the crates in the docking bay, as the Edo poli
[P
[Police? Where the hell have they been? Why not go to them and not a health spa?]

and the Ark officers shot at each other. "You sure she's worth all this?" Adrian asked of D, as he pushed one of the fallen Edo cops off him. D glared at his brother. "Just checking."

"Why didn't you say something about Castle?"

[Why should he say something about Castle?]

"She made me promise not to say anything. Besides, Edo only allows men to be cab drivers.

[Why? What sort of law is that?]

Because of her mutantcy, she couldn't get a job in a woman's or any other man's field.

[Then don’t go into farming]

So she used padding to hide her body, and pretended to be the man her face and arms betrayed her to be."

[Face, I can understand, but arms?]

"How'd you find out?"

[Considering how gay he seems, I’m betting her was spying on her when she took her clothes off]

D pulled Adrian to another position in the bay,

[Hey, you two! This isn’t the time to be doing that. Besides, you’re related]

getting closer to the doors that would take them to the inner corridors of the land ship."

[Why are there quotation marks there? Are they trying to flee from the story, only they’re slower than verbs and question marks?]

"She was getting robbed one night. I stopped the robbers. It was quite the surprise too. Took a little getting use to, let me tell you. Unfortunately, her body doesn't cycle like a woman's. She builds up too much blood. She donates what she can, and I take the rest when ever I'm in town."

"You sleep with her too?"

[First, duh. Second, who are you to butt into your brother’s sex life? Third, what moral ground does D have to stand on?]

"That's none of your business."

[It really isn’t]

"I'm not mad. I think it's good that you have one.one."

"Now all we have to do is get yours back."

"RASEEDA!!!"

[Why did D just yell that?]

D looked over the crates and vehicles to where the voice had hailed.

[So he didn’t yell it? Why didn’t you say so in the first place?]

It was Kale. Dressed in the absurd white suite again. "Kale! Get Down!" D shouted, his brother holding him back from running to her.

[Alucard, don’t get possessive over your brother]

"Hold Your Fire!!" Called Raseeda from the catwalk.

[What catwalk? You can’t have ‘the’ unless it’s been mentioned]

"We need her alive!"

[Raseeda: Between alive and not alive. Sorta alive. Not quite alive. Un-alive? Ex-alive? De-alive? Dis-alive?]

"Remember this?!" she said, holding up a cell.

[Raseeda: Ha! I’m on to you! That’s not the cell I’m looking for!
Kale: Yes it is!
Raseeda: I’m not that stupid!
Kale: How’d you know?
Raseeda: It said ‘A cell’ not ‘the cell’
Kale: Damn, if only I were literate]

"You want it!

[No! I want a goddamn question mark!]

Catch!!" She threw the cell at Raseeda, who dove off the catwalk,

[I know I said they’re all parakeets but I didn’t know they would believe me]

catching the cell, but landing in the middle of parked motorcycles that needed maintenance.

[As opposed to parked ones that didn’t need maintenance? Is that important?]

Kale stepped up to him. Edo police scattered to apprehend the Ark members who'd held their gunfire. D and Adrian approaching Kale
[T
[The tenses throwing their hands up and pleading to be left alone]

"You Bitch!" Raseedammermmered, as he saw cycle parts and repair tools sticking through his chest.

[How’d they get there?]

"Wrong one, Raseeda," she said, taking the cell from him. "This one is empty." She revealed another cell.

[And she hid it where? Or do I not want to know?]

"This is your Admiral DEATH." She tossed the second cell in the air, firing several shots at it.

[Which is stupid, because that would spray shrapnel on everyone and kill and/or disfigure lots of people.

How dome she has such good aim when she’s never useda gun before? Especailly since the thing is flying through the air?]

"NO!!!" he cried, watching it shatter.



"You there! What are you doing!?"

[Person: I don’t know. Who’s talking anyway?]

Moos turned another wheThe The engines were well on their way to overheating.

[Why didn’t he just shoot them?]

A fire here would spread to the fuel tanks, and it would be all over. 'Yes,' he thought deliriously. 'Over. Finally over.'

[This fic wll finally be over!]

He slumped to the floor and closed his eyes.

[Why? Is he dead or taking a nap? Where’d the person who was yelling at him go?]

"I should have married her."

[No, you shouldn’t have. You didn’t love her. A marriage with one-sided love will only result in many unhappy years, divorce, and kids who learn the wrong message about love.]


"Its over Raseeda. No more wars, not ever again."

[She’s just stopping one war, and it probably wouldn’t have started in the first place. This won’t stop all wars, you parakeet! ]

Kale raised her gun to his head, and pulled the trigger.

[How can she raise the gun to his head if she’s standing and he’s on the floor?]

Nothing. The gun was empty. Raseeda laughed.

"Everyone Evacuate!! The ship is gona blow!"

[Since when did this become Autisn Powers?]

cried a man from the catwalk, and another alarm rang throughout the ship.

"He did it."

[He who? Who are you blaming this on? Who’s talking anyway?]

"Kale, lets go! Now! Leave him! He's dead already!" D pulled on her arm as Adrian pulled him along.

[Not yet, he isn’t]

"So long Raseeda." She ran, climbing over the crates to avoid the rush of the crew as they ran.

[What are the crates doing there anyway?]

Raseeda mustered the last of his strength and stood. Seeing her flee, he raised his gun. A shot, a ball of fire.

[So whish one was it?

You cannot aim a flare pistol at a target so small and hit it]

D turned as Kale was thrown from the ship, by the force of the blast.

[Again, what kind of ship is this? Did she fall in the water, or fall through the sky and burn up?]

He caught her.

[Damnit D!]

She didn't move.

[She’s been hit by a flare! You expect her to?]

"D! We've got to move!" cried Adrian, over the explosions from the inside of the ship.

[Are they going to get of tof the blast Zone any time soon, or does a blast zone not exist in this fic because the author doesn’t know about it]

He didn't even know how far he'd run, but he didn't stop till he found one of the clinic helpers who'd been ordered to stay back until summoned.

[He can cast summoning spells? Why didn’t he do that in the first place?]

He put Kale on the ground and started to look her over for himself. She was burned, winded, but alive.

[If she was hit with anything big, it’s obvious she’s winded

You can’t be winded and not alive

Woes oes she have to be alive? Why? WHY, GOD, WHY? (as a pagan, it takes a lot for me to say this)]

He held her to his chest,

[Which is dumb, because you don’t touch a burn victim. Then again, it’s not like there’s a million websites on first aid...oh, wait, there are. Stupid author]

as the medics tried to gage her wounds.

[How does one gage?]

A single tear escaped his eye.

[D DOESN’T FUCKING CRY!]

Finally he let them take her, and climbed into the emergency wagon with them.

[Finally? That tear must have taken its sweet time]

She woke in the motel room they'd booked on their arrival, or at least one like it. D was sitting on the bed next to her, wiping her brow with a cloth. Adrian and Castle playing cards at a table across the room. "Tell me it wasn't a dream," she said.

[Adrian: What wasn’t?
Kale: I was in a land, far, far way. And you, and you, and you were there
Adrian: She’s nuts
Kale: There’s no place like home
Castle: Too bad this ain’t it]

"No. It was real. The Ark ship is gone. Easy. Don't sit up. You've got some bad burns on your back and stomach."

[Then she should be IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL!]

"He did it," she said.

[He who? Why are you trying to blame ‘it’ on this ‘he’ guy?]

"Who, love?" asked Adrian, abandoning his cards.

[Love? He sounds fruity and queer. You can always count on Big Gay Al!
Alucard: This sounds super! I’ll bake cookies!]

"Moos, or his next clone. He destroyed the ship."

[So, you did nothing but pointles theatrics, and he saved the day?]

"Well, who ever it was. I'm glad they did," said D, his hand to her cheek. "It's over now.

[D: The music of the Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Kale: In sleep he watched over me, in sleep he came. That guy who calls to me, and speaks my name. And do I sleep again, for now I find...
Both: The author writing this
Kale: has ind ind
D: Talk once again to me, your boring chat, your poer over me, frows stronger yet. And when to take from me a tale that should be mine
Both: The author of this fic
D: has no mind
Alucard: Those who think Im straight, are rather weird
D: I am the angst you fear
Castle: I drive over deer!
All: She’s there, this author of the fic. Beware, this author of the fic!
D: In all her fantasies
Kale: She’s just like me
Big gay Al: I’m super
Castle: That doesn’t rhymele: le: Me! Mary Sue!
All: And in this labyrinth, where words are wrong, that author of this fic, messes with your mind!
D: Tweet! My parakeet of music!]

You get some sleep."
e noe nodded and closed her eyes.

[She just woke up! Why is she letting everyone tell her to go to sleep?]


About a week later, her burns still a bit tender,

[They damn well should be, considering her burns. Tender wouldn’t begin to describe it.]

D, Kale, and an wan were saying farewell to Castle. "Now remember," said Adrian, "Every three weeks, go tgo to the west side clinic. They treat decent mutants and they can use your blood. Take care."

[She’s been doing this before you met her, you don’t need to tell her this]

"Till next time Alucard." She hugged him.

[Till is to plow ‘til is short for until

Same bad channel, same bad Mary Sue. ‘til next time]

"This is weird. Castle, a woman. Man this is gona take some getting use to."

[Who said that? Why’s it going to take some getting used to? You haven’t known for for more than a few days (despite what the author tries to pas of as weeks)]

"Don't fret about it Kale. We won't be back this way for a long time."

[D: the thought of doing any of thgaingain makes me wanna puke
Kale: makes me hot and bothered
D: okay, now I am going to puke]

They watched the cab drive away, and the three mounted their horses. "So where are you off to now, brother?"

[Who’s talking? A new paragraph started, so D can’t be talking? Is alucard there? Why wasn’t I informed?]

"Well, D, I thought I'd find out where that cute little vamp went. She's skipped town you know."

[You tried to kill her you idiots!]

"Good luck." They watched Adrian spur his large black horse away, waving as he rounded the hills.

[Those are some damn close hills or a damn fast horse]

"You said, once, that I lived for a reason. And that I'd figure out why."

D: Actually, I was lying

[D: It took you this long to figure out that the Jell-O preserved you? You ARE dumb]

"Yes"

"I figured it out. As you are meant to travel this new world, killing rogue vampires, and other monsters.

[Who talks like that outside of Shakespeare?

Not that it’s a sentence. Shakespeare could get away with it. You can’t]

I think I lived to stop the real monsters from coming back at all."

[You? You didn’t do anythinYou’You’re boyfriend saved the day and all you ever said was ‘he did it.’ You could at least have remembered his name!]

"Meaning?"

"I'd like to travel with you D. I still need your help to get on in this world,

[and to get it on]

but that isn't the only reason." She leaned over and kissed him, nipping gently at his lips, D letting her.

[If he didn’t let her, she’d have a sword through her]

"I let someone go once. I'm not going to make the same mistake again."

[But there’s no chemistry between you. It’s just teenaged lust!]

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

[Duh]

"Help me?"

[D: That’s way more than I can do for you. I’ll help you find your brain, courage, heart, common sense, and a way to get rid of you...I mean to get back home]

"To do what?"

It isn’t obvious? To keep her from ruining anyone else’s lives!

"Destroy the arks that are still out th"
"

[Why? The bad guys are dead. Are you saying that even though you’re an arker, you ant to kill the survivors? Isn’t that very hypocritical?]

"Well if we stay here, they'll still be there." He kissed her back,

[D: Blech: That’s it we’re washing your cape before we go anywhere]

letting his horse walk on, breaking their contact. His look back to her calling her to him, calling her to their destiny.

*beep* destiny isn’t here right now. Please leave a message *beep*

Her hair flowing in the breeze behind her, like feathers on the wind.

[Me: (shove fourth wall, as well as third, second, and firston both Kale and D and proceeds to stomp on the repeatedly) Except it’s not feathers, because it’s fucking hair!
Meanwhile...
Big Gay Al: I’m so sorry, Misses Castle, but even the fact that your a girl can’t make me straight! I’m super!
Meanwhile, meanwhile...
Castle: Hey! That @#@%@$er never paid the tab!
Meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile...
Doris: Isn’t it so cute?
Super sheep: Baaa
Dan: I wonder why D kept calling it a horse. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Doris: I think so, Dan, but where are we going to get a lawn gnome at this time of night?
Dan: We shall do what we always do! Try to take over the fic!
They’r Doris and the twit...They’re Doris and the twit...
Meanwhile, backthe the walls:
Me: (still stomping) I never did make any headless horseman jokes, darn]