Suppressed

AN: Sorry this one is so short, but I wanted the dramatic effect. I’m so mean!

Standard Disclaimer: They aren\'t mine

It had been over a week since that fateful breakfast. Kyo stopped trying to pick fights with Yuki. It just wasn’t worth it. The rat utterly ignored his every more, even more so than before, if that were possible. Kyo did try, in the beginning, to initiate a few fights, but he was blown off. Finally, Yuki squared him off. “I don’t want to fight you.” He turned on his heel and left the stunned kitty to smolder in his own frustrations. He charged up to continue his challenge, but Yuki simply replied, “Fine, hit me,” with his arms at his sides. It was no fun to beat up a docile rat anyway. That was five days ago, and those were the last words Yuki had spoken to him. Actually, that was the last time Yuki had looked at him. Kyo was livid.

What was worse, Kyo’s Akito oriented, Yuki-centric nightmares were growing worse and worse. Each time Kyo closed his eyes the dream gained a little more detail, the scenes became more graphic, and he couldn’t wake himself up quite as quickly. Every night he prayed to whatever god was listening to relieve him from his dreams, but every night he got no answer. He tried desperately to relieve his frustrations in his daily training and at the dojo, but it was all to no avail. He couldn’t escape his dreams.

“Kyo,” Kazuma called as he was leaving one day, “is everything O.K.?” He asked.

Kyo nodded.

“You seem a little… off. Are you sure there isn’t something going on?” He implored.

Kyo shrugged. He felt guilty for not telling Shishou everything. “I… um…” He began, ‘haven’t been able to sleep.”

Kazuma placed his hand upon the tired kitty’s back. “Do you know why?” He asked.

Kyo shrugged again. “Ah… I know it’s girly, but I’ve been having all these nightmares. They’re driving me nuts.”

“What are they about?”

Kyo froze, he couldn’t tell Shishou the graphic nature of his dreams. “There’s this… murder,” He blurted. “And it’s about to happen, but I can’t stop it. I always wake up right before the guy gets… stabbed.”

“I see.” Kazuma said. “Have you tried confronting characters in your dream?” He asked.

“No… they’re all random guys, I don’t know.” ‘Like Yuki would listen even if I did confront him, and there’s no way in hell I’m talking to Akito!’

“I’d guess that you’ve got built up frustrations.”

“Yeah, no kidding!” Kyo spat. He panicked. “I’m sorry Shishou, I didn’t mean it!”

Kazuma smiled, “I know.” He paused, “but what I was saying Kyo, is you feel like you have no control and it’s scaring you. As long as you suppress your feelings, these dreams are just going to get worse. I don’t know what’s going on with you, Kyo. You won’t tell me, and I really can’t expect you to. But whatever it is, you need to get it straightened out before you hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“That’s exactly what I mean by suppressing your feelings.”

Kyo nodded and hung his head.

“There are people you can talk to, Kyo, even if it isn’t me.” He removed his hand from his shoulder. “Now go home and get some rest.” He urged.

‘There’s no one I can talk to.’ Kyo thought. ‘I’m so… ashamed.’

And ashamed he was. He was ashamed he lied to his master, his father, he was ashamed he felt neglected by Yuki. He was even more ashamed of his dreams. He felt guilty because his dreams were so graphic, nasty, such a perversion, and he was embarrassed because he was afraid of them. He couldn’t help Yuki in his dreams, even though he wanted to. He just had to watch as it was about to happen. He’d scream, but then he’d wake up.

When he arrived home it was well after dark. Everyone should have been asleep in the house, but the light burning in an upstairs window signaled to Kyo that again, Yuki was not. He kicked off his shoes and crept upstairs. He was ready for some good sleep, and he began his nightly ritualistic whisperings for protection from his dreams. He felt tears swell in his throat as he climbed into bed. ‘No.’ He thought. ‘Crying won’t make them go away.’ Kyo swallowed the tears that threatened to stain his face.

Maybe that was the last straw, the simple act of refusing his pain a playground down his cheeks. Maybe it was his talk with his master, his lies, or his realization of the deep shame that plagued his weary heart. Whatever it was, Kyo would receive no relief from his nightmares tonight. It was time for them to show their true, ugly form lurking deep within his broken soul. He drifted away into the symbolic recesses of his consciousness. He drifted away into his horror.