The Real Reason

Note: Sorry I didn’t update this fic for like, ever; I was busy and blah, blah, blah, here is another chapter. I never abandon my fics, no matter how long they go without being updated, so be assured this will be finished quite soon. I hope someone still cares enough to read this, and sorry again it took so damn long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!

Oh, and this chap takes place the same day as the other two before it. It’s around night now, so yeah. Just wanted to clarify if there was any confusion.

Chapter Six: Consequences


Kenshin sat cross legged in his room, contemplating all that had happened in the last few days. It seemed his whole life had been thrown completely out of control, and now he had no way out of it. There was not way out of the duel with Saitoh, and there certainly wasn’t a way to erase what he and Sano had done.

Kenshin had loved it, and in truth he wanted Sano with him now, but he knew he had crossed the line. He should just have let Sanosuke be, but his pride got in the way. Sano was probably furious with him now, and rightly so. Kenshin had pushed him away immediately after their love-making like some kind of whore. Sano deserved better, but Kenshin couldn’t help himself. He knew he loved Sano, but he wasn’t sure if he was in love with him or just wanted him because Saitoh had claimed him. It was confusing the rurouni, and only adding to his worries as he sat alone.

The duel was still two days away, and Kenshin knew he had to set things right with everyone before he left. In his heart he doubted if he’d return alive, and it saddened him that his friends would grieve for him if he was to be slain. But he had made a promise to the wolf, and Kenshin’s eyes narrowed as he thought of the ex-Shinsengumi. Saitoh would have his duel, and their feud dating back to the revolution would be settled, once and for all.

~*~*~*~*~

Sano walked down the busy street, his head hung low and his body slumped. He felt so unbelievably tired, and wanted to just sleep. But he couldn’t get Kenshin and Saitoh out of his mind. He loved them both; this much he knew, but he didn’t know if they loved him the same in return.

Sano knew that he had loved Kenshin since they first met. He was immediately drawn to his red hair and his humble demeanor. He reminded Sano so much of Sozo; so calm and kind and always full of hope. That’s why Sano was surprised he was so drawn to Saitoh. The wolf had been nothing but a pain in his ass (metaphorically and physically) ever since Saitoh drove a sword through his shoulder. And yet, when Saitoh had supposedly died, Sano found he couldn’t bear the thought of life without him. It was one of the hardest times for Sanosuke, and he was both relieved and angry that Saitoh had survived. It was so typical of the arrogant bastard not to tell any of them that he was alright. It made his blood boil just thinking about it. But then again, that was one of the things that made the ex-Shinsengumi so irresistible. He acted like he didn’t care, like nothing meant anything to him unless it helped him achieve his own goals. The man was still an enigma, and Sano found that fact to annoy him to no end. Just when he Sano thought he had the wolf all figured out, Saitoh would go and do something completely out of the blue, making Sano rethink everything he thought he knew. It was exasperating to say the least.

Like having sex with Kenshin the very next day after he had been with him. It confused and hurt Sanosuke, and he was resolute in finding out the truth behind Saitoh’s actions.. But he needed to know, needed to hear it from Saitoh’s own lips, although he dreaded the answer he would receive.

~*~*~*~*~

Saitoh looked up to see a very distraught Sano lingering stiffly in his doorway. He didn’t have the same fire as he usually did, and Saitoh knew immediately what was wrong with him. “Shut the door.” said Saitoh as he stood from his desk. Sano did so, and after the door was closed, he made a rush at Saitoh and landed a punch square in his jaw. Sano wasn’t sure who was more surprised; him or Saitoh.

The punch didn’t really effect the wolf, and in fact it didn’t faze him in the slightest, but what shocked him was that it actually connected. Saitoh didn’t even see it coming.

Sano slowly removed his fist from Saitoh’s face, staring in disbelief as his hand as he lowered it to his side. Saitoh stared directly into Sano’s eyes, his amber gaze piercing straight into Sano’s brown.

“So you know.” It wasn’t a question. Sano’s brows furrowed in anger as he nodded, and Saitoh sighed as he withdrew a cigarette. “I suppose he told you.” said Saitoh an a flat tone. Sano nodded again, his fists clenching tighter at his sides as his anger heightened. Saitoh lit his cigarette and took a drag as he gazed at the young man before him. “I honestly didn’t expect you to take it so calmly.”

“What did yo think I’d do? Barge in here screaming, demanding answers with tears in my eyes?” Saitoh ‘hmphed’. “Of course I did. That’s how you react to everything.” Sano clenched his teeth. He would not let Saitoh drive him to lose his temper. Not this time.

Saitoh gave Sano a once over before stepping close to him, taking a whiff os his scent. Sano blushed as he stepped back, surprised by the sudden action. “What the hell?!” Saitoh leaned against his desk, smoke swirling around his head. He knew that smell all too well. “Was it good?” Sano stared at the words, and he froze as he searched for an answer. Saitoh waited patiently, not showing any emotion as usual.

“Y-yes, it was. And it was damn good too,” Began Sano, and he walked up to Saitoh, sticking his face directly in front of the older man’s. “And he was way better than you.” Sano expected to see a flash of jealousy or anger at the comment flash across the wolf’s eyes, but Saitoh just stared at him in... amusement. “It that so? Tell me, was it him or you that was on top?”

“That’s none of your damn business Saitoh!” Saitoh gook another drag. “So he was on top, eh?” Sano blushed as he tried to calm himself. This was not going the way he had planned.

Saitoh stared at Sano, waiting for the young man to continue. But Sano’s head lowered, and Saitoh couldn’t see his face or eyes. The wolf went to move when he heard Sano’s voice cut through the silence. “Why don’t you care?”

“Because it would be pointless.” Sano had expected as much. He raised his head and looked directly into Saitoh’s eyes, wondering if the wolf ever had really loved him at all. “Why Kenshin?” Saito took one last drag before tossing his cigarette to the floor, crunching it underfoot. “He was convenient.” Sano could now feel tears start to rise in his eyes. “So you just used him, like you were using me?” Saitoh continued to stare at Sano, and didn’t say anything for some moments. “Of course. You really are an ahou if you believed our fucking was anything more than what it was.” Sano’s heart sank. So Saitoh really didn’t give a damn....

Trying to act like what Saitoh had said hadn’t effected him, Sano stood up straight, plastering on his best smirk. “Well... whatever. You’re too old for me anyway, you slanty eyed bastard.”

Saitoh sat back down behind his desk, and said without looking up, “Whatever you say. Now leave, I have work to do.” Sano nodded and headed for the door, taking one last glance back at Saitoh before leaving.

Saitoh waited until Sano was safely out the door and down the hall before sighing heavily. He really hadn’t expected the ahou to react the way he did. He also didn’t expect how breaking up with Sano would make him feel. He almost felt kind of bad for doing that to the younger man, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. He only did it in the first place so he could get one last duel out of the Battousai, but that wasn’t to say he hadn’t enjoyed every second of it. He kind of missed the rooster already as he continued his menial paperwork, a strange feeling washing over him as he did so.

Sano sulked as he left the police building, not even hearing Cho asking him if he was alright. He ignored everything as he made his way to a seedy bar not far from his house, and planned on spending the rest of the night getting drunk off his ass. At least he could escape from his grief that way, albeit for a short period of time. After that he would be fine, perfectly fine. But even Sano couldn’t convince himself of that as he ordered his first bottle of sake.

~*~*~*~*~

“Kaoru-dono, may I speak with you for a moment?” Kaoru looked up from her bowl of rice, and gently set it down as she answered, “Of course Kenshin. What do you need to talk about?” Kenshin sighed as he looked over at Yahiko, the boy stuffing his face and seemingly oblivious or uncaring as Kenshin gestured with his head to move outside. Kaoru nodded and followed the rurouni to stand in the yard, the sun now beginning to set, dimming the light around them.

Kenshin stopped int the middle of the yard, his violet gaze turning to look at the pale shape of the moon slowly becoming brighter overhead. The sky was aflame with pink and orange, eventually fading to darker hues of purple and blue as it neared the horizon. Kenshin marveled at it’s beauty, wondering if it was one of the last sunsets he’d ever see. Kaoru went to stand next to the redhead, her eyes following Kenshin’s to take in the majesty of the sunset. But she could feel that something was wrong with Kenshin, and Kaoru had become even more worried after his odd behavior of late.

Breaking the silence, Kaoru’s voice cut into Kenshin’s thoughts. “What’s wrong Kenshin? What is it you need to talk to me about?” Kenshin didn’t look at her quite yet; he was still pondering if he had the courage to say goodbye to her a second time. The first time had broken his heart, and doing it again was something he had always dreaded and hoped he’d never have to do again.

Kenshin finally faced Kaoru, his eyes shining with regret and sorrow. Kaoru knew something was terribly wrong; the rurouni was acting like he did on the night so long ago, when he said farewell to her. But he couldn’t possibly be leaving again; nothing was forcing him to, and he meant to much to Kaoru to just let him go this time. “Tell my what’s wrong Kenshin... why are you acting like this?” Kaoru’s voice was choked and panicked as she talked, and Kenshin idly grasped her hands and stroked them reassuringly. “Nothing is wrong Kaoru-dono. I just wanted to say something....” The words were hard for him to find. He didn’t know how to express how much he appreciated his time with Kaoru, and how much she meant to him without making her panic even more.

“You mean a lot to me Kaoru-dono, and I’m thankful for all that you’ve done. I just wanted you to know that if anything happens, know that I’ll never forget you and will always remember you.” Tears started to stream from Kaoru’s eyes at the words, and Kenshin smiled wanly as he gently embraced her. She clung tightly to him, her hands fisting in the fabric of his haori as she sobbed into his shoulder. “Kenshin, don’t go anywhere. I couldn’t live without you. I... love you....” Kenshin nodded against her head. He knew that she had been in love with him for a while, but he in truth had never felt the same in return, but he was willing to settle down with her and live a normal life. But now it was all thrown away, even if he won the duel with Saitoh he would never be able to love Kaoru like she wanted. “I know Kaoru-dono, and don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I just felt like I had to say something just in case, that I did.” He didn’t like lying to her, but he couldn’t bear to see her distressed any longer, and hoped his words would comfort her some. He gave her his best smile, and although Kaoru was far from being at ease, she smiled back as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

~*~*~*~*~

Saitoh sighed as he finished his cigarette, trampling it underfoot more harshly than usual. Something was bothering him, but he couldn’t place what it was, and that alone was starting to annoy him. This whole incident with the Battousai and the rooster was starting to get more convoluted by the second, and the wolf was anxious to finally finish it.

Reaching his house he quickly stepped inside, and immediately he knew that something was amiss, and as he stepped forward he crunched something underfoot. Grimacing he realized a vase he had had been tipped over, and lay in ruins on his floor. ‘Damn ahou,’ thought Saitoh as he sighed and walked to his bedroom.

Before he even reached his room he could sense someone was inside it. He must have guessed wrong that Sano had tipped over his vase; it must be thieves that broke in. Smiling at the prospect of killing someone and taking out his frustration he calmly unclasped his sword, drawing the blade silently as he threw the scabbard aside. Smirking he slowly opened the door to his bedroom, sneaking inside to catch the intruder off guard. He stood for several moments without moving, letting his sharp eyes adjust to the dark. Finally after he could see well enough he scanned the room, and realized a body was laying on his bed. He took a step closer to see who it was, and cursed under his breath when he saw a familiar head of fluffy brown hair and the Aku symbol on a white jacket. Now thoroughly pissed Saitoh took his sword and poked Sano quite roughly, almost puncturing the skin as Sano grumbled and rolled over.

“Damn, I was wondering when you’d get home.” said Sano as he rubbed his eyes and yawned, and even standing away from the younger man Saitoh could smell the alcohol on his breath. “What are you doing here ahou? Get out, you’re drunk.” Saitoh then walked out of the room, leaving Sano to stumble off the bed after him.

“Hey, what the hell Saitoh? I came here to talk to you.” slurred Sano, and Saitoh just scoffed as he replaced his sword to it’s scabbard. “You have illegally entered my house, and drunk no less. You’re lucky I don’t arrest you right now. Get out now before I change my mind.” Saitoh’s tone was colder than usual, and it cut through Sano’s skin piercing his heart.

“Dammit, stop talking like a damn cop!” Saitoh ignored him as he roughly grabbed Sano’s arm, dragging him forcefully to the door. Sano struggled the whole way there, and just as he was half way out of the door he said, “Come on Saitoh, just let me stay one more night.” Saitoh paused at the request, and loosened his grip just enough for Sano to clumsily break free. Sano took his lack of response as a go ahead, and smiling he leaned into Saitoh, his lips grazing the taller man’s. Saitoh stood rigid under Sano’s advances, and for the life of him he didn’t know why he had let Sano go or was allowing him to kiss him. But he didn’t stop Sano as the younger man started to unbutton his shirt, his movements slow and jerky due to his inebriated state. The ex-Shinsengumi continued to stare at Sano as his shirt fell to the floor, and a warm hand slide under his undershirt, nimble fingers grazing over his nipples. Saitoh sighed at the contact, and Sano smiled as he took a nub between two fingers and pinched. Saitoh groaned as Sano continued his ministrations, and Sano started to kiss along Saitoh’s jaw line, all the while pressing himself further against the wolf.

“See Saitoh, I knew you still felt something for me.” said Sano as he felt Saitoh’s cock become hard through the fabric, and he moaned as he felt himself becoming even more aroused. Saitoh knew that he should just have kicked the ahou out, but this felt too good to let go of. But something kept nagging him, something kept telling him to let the boy go and get him out, and Saitoh found the voice to be too loud to ignore, it’s urgency overriding the pleasure he was feeling. Growling in anger he grabbed Sano roughly by the hair, making the younger man whelp with pain and surprise. Sano gazed up at Saitoh with confusion clouding his hazy eyes, and snarling slightly Saitoh pulled Sano away from him before shoving him to the doorway and out of his house.

Sano landed in a pile in the ground, his head swimming as he stared at Saitoh with anger burning in his brown eyes. Saitoh just stood at the threshold, and returned Sano’s glare as he said, “I don’t love you, and I never will. Never speak to me again or I will kill you.” Sano’s eyes widened at the words, and Saitoh’s expression didn’t falter as he closed the door behind him. Sano sat dumbfounded for several seconds before finally standing, his eyes brimming with tears as he walked away. Saitoh had wounded him more with just a few words than any katana had ever done. It didn’t even sound like the wolf; it was too emotional, and Sano knew that they were sincere. Saitoh would really kill him next time, and finding that fact more than heartbreaking Sano walked aimlessly down the streets, hoping he was going in the direction of his house but not really caring where he was going.

Saitoh just stood leaning against the door, his mind in rare turmoil as he considered what he had just done. It was unlike him to be so indecisive, and even more so to regret anything. But he was regretting now, and he almost wished he had never bothered with Sano in the first place. Saitoh drew a hand through his hair as he tried to focus on the approaching battle and his final victory over the Battousai, but his thoughts would inevitably go back to the honey eyed young man and his capricious personality. Saitoh snarled at his own thoughts, not liking how sentimental he had become. He would just blame it all on stress, that way he cold focus on defeating Battousai and not have to deal with them. But he knew it was going to be hard, and sighing in exasperation he lifted himself from the wood and headed to bed.

A/N: Well, there you have it. One more chap after this and that’s it! You’re all probably going to kill me for how I’m going to end this, but I think it’s appropriate under the circumstances. See ya next time!!