Secret Love in Hidden Darkness

Summary: Life is good for Hayate and Himeno. Their troubles are over and life had never been sweeter. Two years together, probably going to be married soon, in love... What could go wrong, right?... A love unspoken and one impulsive action on it, causing a chain of events that could possibly wake the Princess of Disaster once more is what.

Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, never will be. This plot is mine, and all made up characters which may or may not be seen are mine. Nothing else is mine. Nothing. Because I have nothing at all... Poor, poor me.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update, I promise, every day after today I will update. Thanks for being faithful, reviewers.

//Helpless Suicide and Unforgiving Devotion//

Sasame lay on his bed, curled in his own blood. Too tired to cry, too broken to scream... Too cold to feel anymore. He watched as the sun set behind the curtain of water that poured down the window pane, watched as the smell of his own tears filled his nose. Tired... Tired... "Hayate..." Soft, soft... He wanted to hurt Sasame, hurt Takako, hurt those who had once taken Hayate from him. Now Hayate was lost to him forever, and there was nothing at all he could do about it. Nothing... Save to wallow in his own pain, to end it... To end his life.

Sasame numbly sat up in his bed, glancing around the wash white walls, everything clean and neat... Save himself and the bed. Those were the only things not the same way, a shuttering sigh came from his mouth as he slid, feet touching the cold floor. What had he to live for anymore? Hayate never loved him, he never would, he likely hated him now. He couldn't handle that... Couldn't... He had to end this.

Takako would live, she would get over it and eventually be happy. This did not bother him in the least... Why would she stay sad? Him and Takako had never made love, and he had always been slightly distant from her. Why, he never told her but... He suspected she knew. Himeno... She wouldn't care. She and Hayate could continue their happy life, and he would just exclude himself. It was alright, he wouldn't be missed. The danger had passed, all would be well.

Sasame's feet were on the floor before he knew what he was doing, moving across the floor. The chill of the tile in the bathroom touched his feet, and a violent shutter ripped through his body. The razor was there, shining gently in the bright lights above the mirror. His pale eyes met his own in the mirror, his red streaked eyes, his face looked a mess, as did his whole body now. Stupid, ugly Sasame. Why would he ever think Hayate would choose him over Himeno?... He no longer knew.

His fingers touched the shining, cool surface of the blade, grasping it with even colder fingers. He raised it, watching the light reflect and flash as he brought it closer to it's destination. It rested against the soft skin of his wrist easily, feeling the sharp blade rest there was like a shock to the system. The feel of it pressing into his skin was a god send, slicing cleanly and deeply. The pain was nothing, a dull throb to join the pain that was already thrumming through his body. The blood hit the perfect white tile, forever marring it. "Hayate..."

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Hayate sat outside in the rain, watching as it splashed in the water. He watched on for what felt like hours, it could have been minutes, even as his skin began to gently cool. "Hayate?" A gentle, female voice came from behind him. His eyes turned to meet the concerned, sea green ones of Mawata. He turned slightly as she came closer, umbrella held overhead as she knelt by his side.

"What are you doing out here, Hayate?" She asked, blinking at him as he smiled slightly at her. "Thinking." He replied simply, and she shook her head. "Out here? What's wrong?" She had become so good at reading people, he almost cursed this fact. "I think I've made a mistake... And I'm not sure if I can correct it. I've hurt someone, and I don't know how to help them." He said softly, and she just heard him over the rain.

Her face went understanding, and she was smiling at him now. "You can always correct your mistakes, it's never too late. Go to this person, ask them how to help. If you really care for them, you'll find a way." Her eyes had that irritating, knowing look that reminded him too much of Kei to be comfortable. She should stop spending time with him... Or start. They might actually figure out the secrets of the universe if they knew as much as their eyes suggested. It was as if she knew, though there was no way...

"I don't think that will work... It's... It's a feeling I can't return." His head fell, eyes to the water and this look of sadness crossed his face and filled his eyes. Mawata was still smiling, a sparkle in her eye as the look in those eyes became fond. "Hayate, why else would someone's pain for loving you bother you this much if you did not love them as well?" She asked as his eyes widened comically. She laughed, was still smiling. It was as if she really did know. "How--" She raised a hand to stop him as she stood, turning and calling back through the gentle sound of rain. "If you love him, then you will do the right thing... He trusts you, Hayate, we all do." His mouth hung a gape as he watched her retreating form, her soft humming drifting to him, growing fainter and fainter.

He stood, watching the rain as it fell from the dull gray clouds, falling down his body as he shivered gently. "Sasame...I don't know what you want from me." A bare whisper as he disappeared. He was in Sasame's room in an instant, looking around for the one he had left.

"Hayate..."

He heard it, and followed the sound, taking in the figure, blade and all as he silently stood just beyond the door. He was horrified that it had come to this... Come to Sasame... Doing this. "Sasame... I'm sorry." He choked gently, and the other whirled. The metal clattered to the floor as Sasame stood facing him. A confused, hurt, desperate look covered his face, and Hayate understood and, not for the first time, wanted to make it leave his face. His heart wrenched in his chest as he looked at the blood running down the wrist that he had slit. A sort of sad smile touched Hayate's face as he opened his arms to the bleeding male... And Sasame jumped into his arms, clinging to the other for his life.

Hayate's hands came up, one wrapping around his shoulders and the other in his hair as his own head dropped to rest on the one against his chest. Sasame didn't cry, and Hayate didn't speak. There was no need for such things... Because, in each others arms, all the world was right.

A/N: Hey, everyone. How do you like my Mawata? She will be my constant little helper. Tomorrow will be Christmas, so I will give you a new chapter along with a special Christmas short involving a pairing that will be happening later. Kind of shows Mawata’s emotions and her new, happier self. Tell me how you like it, I promise from now on, chapter updates every day. Promise!