The Game of Love

I have a love/hate thing going on with this chapter. Mostly, I hate it but I don’t know why. The marvelous Macavitykitsune has given me a pat on the head and the confidence to post it.

Thank you to my wonderful beta, Aja, who saved me from making a complete ass out of myself. Thanks also to Jadeheart, who always inspires me. Any mistakes belong to me – I touched it last.

The Game of Love

Chapter 6


At precisely the same time as the door shut behind them, Hakkai found the answer to a question that had perplexed him for a long time: Why did his proximity to Gojyo bring about mind-numbing bewilderment? Apparently, the answer was ridiculously simple. Gojyo made him hungry. He didn’t think it was exactly the same way that food made Goku hungry; at least, Hakkai hoped it wasn’t the same, but there were many striking similarities.

Almost from the beginning of their relationship, he’d tried to identify the powerful emotion Gojyo brought out in him. He’d scoured his formidable vocabulary for the description that best described his feelings. Now, somewhat disturbingly, he settled on the word hungry.

Hakkai held Gojyo around his waist holding him upright. Gojyo had his arm draped loosely around Hakkai’s neck, pressing his athletic body close as they limped into their room. The warmth transferred between them caused the healer to feel emotionally off-balance. He disliked being befuddled; it had a tendency to make him… dangerously erratic.

He knew what he was. Simply because he wore power limiters and chose not to discuss it, most people assumed he denied what he’d become that horrible night in Hyakugan Maoh’s stronghold. He knew. He was a monster, a cruel, vicious animal, capable of killing anyone, human or demon, who dared to stand between him and what was truly important to him.

The predictable reaction people had to his transformation was an infinite source of amusement to Hakkai. He knew the stark reality of his true self. It wasn’t the pointed ears and talons that made him a fiend and it wasn’t the manifestation of his ivy tattoos and sharp teeth that made him horrifying. He’d always held darkness inside; even in the orphanage, the nuns and other children gave him a wide berth, somehow sensing his sinister nature. There were also 999 people that saw him the night before his transformation, they could attest to his ferocity. Well, they could if they were still alive, that is. He pushed the grim thought back into its proper place, a shadowy, uninhabited corner of his mind.

Even though he acknowledged what he was, he also admitted there were parts of his personality he struggled to contain, and passion was at the top of list. After all, passion was what ultimately led him down the path towards becoming a youkai; you didn’t kill a thousand or more people simply because you were fond of someone.

Passion made him deadly. Passion made him hungry.

Hakkai had been convinced his passion was dead and gone, ripped from him the night Kanan cut her own throat. He’d denied, for years now, what he felt for Gojyo, but he could see it clearly now. The realization of his feelings for his friend flooded his senses with wanton desire. He had to fight to control the tide of passion that filled him. He wanted nothing more in the world than to throw Gojyo down, rip off his clothes and make him scream with… passion.

“Hakkai?” Gojyo’s crimson eyes studied him. “Are you in there?”

He faced his companion, gazing at the red eyes and hair as he pondered his passion. Life was simple, either you were alive or you weren’t. Either you fought or you died. Either you loved or you…

Gojyo reached out and touched Hakkai’s cheek, disrupting the healer’s thoughts, “Hey.”

Hakkai smelled blood. The scent was raw and terrible and yet tantalizing and tempting. He felt himself sliding towards the abyss of passion, being this close to Gojyo was unraveling his control and making him so hungry. He wanted…

“Do you plan on healing me, ‘Kai?”

Gojyo was so close, the breath from his whispered words gently ruffled Hakkai’s hair, as if it were spring breeze. Healing. Why did Gojyo need healing? Hakkai dragged himself away from passion’s precipice to see the blood on Gojyo’s face; he leaned even closer as he tried to sort out the word healing. He paused, just short of licking at the blood.

He straightened his body, pulling away from Gojyo, and shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “Ah, yes. Healing,” Hakkai said as he began moving again, helping his injured friend towards the bed. “The first thing we must do is tend to your wounds.”

“That sounds boring, Hakkai,” Gojyo grumbled watching Hakkai’s every movement with intense interest. “I think what I had in mind would be much more fun.”

“Right now, you need to behave yourself and sit down,” Hakkai chided good-naturedly, as his coping skills came back to him.

Gojyo stopped and stared at the pristine bedcover. “If I sit on the bed, I’ll wreck it.”

Hakkai smiled. “That’s hardly something to be worried about right now, Gojyo. You rest, while I get some towels and some water in order to clean you up.”

“Sanzo will bitch if he has to pay for new bedding,” Gojyo warned.

“Gojyo, quit worrying about Sanzo,” Hakkai commanded as he moved into the other room and towards a stack of towels on a counter next to a sink. As he reached for the towels he added, “Oh, and take off your shirt.”

“Ah, I’ve been waiting for this. You just wanted an excuse to get me out of my clothes and into bed, didn’t you?” Gojyo chuckled suggestively.

When Hakkai heard Gojyo’s flippant comment, the bundle of towels he was grabbing for slipped from his fingers, falling with a quiet thump on the tiled floor. Hakkai stared at the pile of towels trying to make sense of what was happening. What was he doing? How could he have allowed a game get this far? He’d let down his guard, allowing himself the luxury of their swaggering flirtation, completely forgetting about Gojyo’s philosophy concerning sex without commitment. Hakkai wouldn’t be content engaging in meaningless sex with his friend. Gojyo wasn’t a casual encounter who Hakkai might never see again, Gojyo was person of substantial importance to him. Did Gojyo know how he felt? Or was Hakkai simply one more conquest to Gojyo?

As he picked up the towels and filled a nearby decorative bowl with warm water, Hakkai considered the possibility that they were taking things a bit too fast. There were too many unknowns between them and suddenly, he was uncertain how to go forward with their relationship. Instead, he decided he would simply step back. He forced his normally cool, placid exterior into place, once again embracing the role of healer as he convinced himself he would tend to Gojyo’s many wounds and nothing more.

Internally, however, Hakkai remained an emotional mess, frantically scrabbling to calm his thoughts and feelings, both wanting and fearing Gojyo with a desperation he hadn’t felt in years. It was as if thinking about the situation and being suddenly in a position to take action had somehow unbalanced his feelings.

He returned to the bedroom to find Gojyo slowly and painfully removing his bloodied shirt. Hakkai stopped involuntarily to watch, standing motionless, water bowl and towels forgotten in his hands. He found his throat dry as he gazed upon the disrobing man, observing the play of muscles and tendons rippling under skin. Gojyo had every reason to brag about his physique and Hakkai could no longer deny the affect the sight had on him.

Gojyo turned enough to see him, catching Hakkai red-handed in his voyeurism. Clearing his throat, he refused to acknowledge that Gojyo had caught him. “Perhaps you should lie down so I can take a look at your injuries.”

Gojyo smirked at him knowingly, but wisely remained silent when he carefully arranged himself on the bed.

Hakkai found that emotional withdrawal in general was more difficult for him with Gojyo as a patient, but once he concentrated on his friend’s wounds, he found himself sobered by grim reality. The amount of blood smeared on Gojyo’s upper body was startling. Working with a wet towel, Hakkai discovered a myriad of scrapes, claw marks and even a bite. When he dabbed at a particularly deep wound, distressingly close to the jugular vein, Gojyo hissed with pain. Hakkai realized his friend was probably suffering a great deal.

He tried to remain completely focused on cleansing the long, bloody gash on Gojyo’s arm, ignoring, as best he could, his patient’s finely toned torso and flat stomach. He considered how superficial he must be, ogling his hurt and vulnerable friend at a time like this. In order to regain some sort of decency, he forced himself into assessing the many injuries. There were more wounds made by claw marks than by weapons and most tended to be superficial, but even so, the combined total of them was disturbing. He returned to the injury on Gojyo’s arm and considered how it had occurred. The cut was shallow but nearly seven inches in length, indicating one of two possibilities: either the slice - likely made by a short sword - had surprised Gojyo, or he’d been too busy to deflect the attack. By the angle of the wound, Hakkai surmised the cut had come from behind, which, when coupled with Sanzo’s report of more than a dozen opponents led Hakkai to conclude that sheer numbers had overwhelmed his companion.

He touched the wet cloth to the gash again, so intent on not noticing the feel of Gojyo’s skin under his fingertips that he pressed hard enough to reopen the wound, blood welled to the surface. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Gojyo. Did I hurt you?”

He had allowed his musings to distract him, focusing on the wounds themselves, so much that he was able temporarily to separate the injuries from their owner. Gojyo was already hurt so badly, and now Hakkai had contributed to his friend’s pain. He leaned over and grabbed a new towel in order to stop the bleeding. When he turned back, his motion abruptly stopped as he stared at the trickle of blood.

Hakkai licked his lips as he stared; Gojyo’s blood was identical in color to the red flowers that now, inexplicably, crowded his memories. His cheek twitched with the dull ache of wounds long healed. Shifting his eyes to view his companion’s face, he marveled at the marks he saw on Gojyo’s cheek, the scars that Hakkai could feel. He reached out dreamily, his fingers hovering just above the permanent claw marks, tracing their path a hairsbreadth above the skin.

Crimson eyes watched him with seeming curiosity. “What’s going on in that big, complicated brain of yours, ‘Kai?”

“What?” Hakkai’s eyes blinked, clearing away the fog from his mind. His fingers were touching Gojyo’s cheek, lining up against the beautiful, ragged scars. He pulled his fingers back but Gojyo’s hand caught his wrist and held his hand steady against warm skin. The redhead smiled at him as he shifted Hakkai’s hand so he could kiss his palm. For some reason, the searching eyes and gentle kiss caused butterflies to fill Hakkai’s stomach.

“I asked you what was going on in your head.” Gojyo continued smiling and his eyes sparkled. “You’ve been cleaning the same cut on my arm for quite a while now. Aren’t you going to heal it?”

“I… uh, Gojyo, I need to know what happened earlier. When we were downstairs, did I… did I do anything strange?”

“Define strange,” Gojyo answered. He avoided the question but the smile remained in his eyes. “I mean we do travel with a homicidal priest and an irritating monkey so ‘strange’ is a term that can be easily applied to anything we do.”

“I can’t remember exactly what I did.” Hakkai stared at their joined hands as Gojyo loosened his hold but did not release him. “Somehow, I suspect I may have put you at risk.”

“Really? I must have missed something then, because as I remember it, you were healing me. It might have been a little more… intense than usual, but it was all good. I was out for part of it, but when I came to, everything was fine.”

“Gojyo,” Hakkai began as he remembered the tension in the room when he had come back to himself. Sanzo and Goku had both been staring at him with open surprise and he’d had Gojyo’s head cradled on his shoulder. Healing Gojyo was a difficult process for Hakkai, there was a tendency, a desire almost, to cross a line when he immersed himself in the curing of his friend.

Healing was a power easily used to manipulate people. Hakkai normally kept himself aloof, a cool professional approach that made it simple to avoid mental ties with his patients. He didn’t want to know their secrets or feel their pain, he wasn’t that interested. Additionally, emotionally or mentally joining with another might be dangerous and difficult to break off, especially if Hakkai were to encounter a particularly strong personality, such as Sanzo. Alternatively, if he connected with someone he held a deep emotional attachment with, someone like…

“Gojyo, tell me what happened,” Hakkai pleaded.

There was Gojyo’s brilliant smile. “You worry too much. You were very focused, that’s probably why you don’t remember it clearly.”

“Did I, did you…” he exhaled. “Goku said we kissed. Did we kiss?”

“Hakkai,” Gojyo sighed. “Relax. Your healing is always a little overwhelming and this time we let the moment catch us, that’s all. I told you, it’s all good.”

“So we did kiss.”

The smiled faded. “If we had, does the thought bother you?”

Hakkai considered the question carefully before he answered, “To be completely honest, I haven’t considered all the implications, or even all of the… ah, logistics involved.”

“Logistics?” Gojyo stared at him. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Hakkai ignored the new question as he continued, “I suppose, overall, it could be problematic in some instances, but I do not believe our traveling companions would object and we rarely stay in one place for more than a few nights so we would not have to explain our relationship to anyone else.”

“I’m not asking about what other people think,” Gojyo sighed. “I’m talking about your feelings on the subject.”

“I’m fine with it, Gojyo,” Hakkai said all too quickly.

“You’re fine with it?” Gojyo’s brow furrowed. “Are you?”

“Yes.” Redirecting the conversation, Hakkai said lightly, “Besides, Gojyo, I would think the kiss would bother you more than me.”

“Really?” Gojyo stared at him for a moment before his face relaxed and the teasing tone returned as he added, “And why would you say that?”

Hakkai smiled in return, a true smile. “Gojyo, you tend to be very concerned about your image with the opposite sex. I would think that kissing a man might damage your… playboy reputation.”

“Oh, please,” Gojyo laughed this time. “If you believe that, ‘Kai, you are the only one who does. Come on, think about it will you? Who runs to you every time he has a hangnail that needs healing? For being so smart, sometimes you are incredibly clueless.”

“Are you telling me that you are okay with the fact that we kissed?”

“Oh, for… ” Gojyo sighed and closed his eyes. “You’ve made me writhe in ecstasy on more occasions than I can count and you are worried about a measly kiss?”

“Gojyo, healing is different. That’s…” Hakkai tried to reason.

Sitting up with a pain-filled groan, Gojyo faced him and raised his eyebrow. “Healing is… what, Hakkai? How can you compartmentalize the fact that your touch makes me come?”

“I’m not compartmentalizing it,” Hakkai defended. “But, Gojyo, you must admit kissing is different for us. We’ve never done anything like that before.”

“What makes kissing different?” Gojyo challenged. “Explain it to me.”

“It’s more…” Hakkai faltered with his words. Why was it different? A kiss seemed far more personal to Hakkai than what happened during the healing process. Why was a kiss more intimate? He suspected the distinction lay in the control. Finally, he opted to take the easy way out of Gojyo’s question. “Since I don’t remember, I guess I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“Look, Hakkai, clearly you’re bugged about this. You want me to tell you how I feel about it?”

Nodding, the healer answered, “Yes, it might help to put my mind a little more at ease.”

Gojyo exhaled. “Fine. Here it is in a nutshell; I’m okay with kissing you. Absolutely, positively okay with it. And before you ask, I’m okay with your tongue in my mouth as well. So much so, I could go for another. The last one kind of did a number on me.”

Hakkai’s words were slow, as if they tangled inside his mouth before leaving his lips. “My… tongue?” His imagination took off and he had to shake his head clear of wanton thoughts.

“Yeah, baby. Lips, tongue, and best of all, saliva, the whole marvelous, delicious package.” He gave Hakkai a leering grin.

“Gojyo,” Hakkai closed his eyes, willing himself to remember. Instead, all he saw was a memory filled with red flowers, a memory that didn’t belong to him. Had he obtained possession of that memory by delving too deeply into Gojyo’s psyche? If so, how had he broken free, and how had they ended up kissing? He sighed as he continued mentally to walk through the events downstairs. “Why do I suspect you are not telling me the whole story?”

“Shut up, Hakkai.” Gojyo reached out and grabbed Hakkai’s head.

Green eyes snapped open. “What are you doing?”

“You think too much. Sometimes in order to figure things out you just have to do them,” the redhead answered and then he leaned in.

“That doesn’t make any sense…” was as far as he got before Gojyo silenced him with his lips.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. Gojyo’s scent was intoxicating, even with the blood, possibly because of the blood. Hakkai felt Gojyo’s tongue brush against his mouth and he parted his lips. Ache blossomed inside him and initially, he thought it was only the physical pain of lust. As he concentrated, he realized it was also the ache of loneliness and desperation for love. His hands tangled in Gojyo’s long hair as he moved his body closer, gently pushing his soon to be lover back onto the bed as his passion returned.

Gojyo moaned, and Hakkai took the sound as encouragement. He pressed his long, lean body against the other man. Gojyo moaned again, but this time it wasn’t from pleasure.

“Oh,” Hakkai pulled away and once again, accessed his friend’s injuries again. “I’m sorry. I guess I need to finish healing you first.”

This time Gojyo groaned. “No. If you do, then I’ll come.”

“But your wounds,” Hakkai touched the bloody arm. “You won’t enjoy anything if I don’t heal you first.

Gojyo’s answer was full of teasing again, “I wouldn’t be so sure of that if I were you. I think you’d be surprised at how much pain I can really take, ‘Kai.”

“You should be cautious about your taunting, Gojyo. You have no idea of what I’m capable of.” Hakkai chided softly. “Let me get the shower ready.”

“Shower?” Gojyo swallowed. “You want me to take a shower? With you?”

‘Yes, there’s too much blood for me to get it off this way, it’s even in your hair. Once you’re cleaned up, I’ll heal you there.” Hakkai took in Gojyo’s sudden discomfort. “Will that be acceptable?”

Gojyo answered softly, “Ah… sure.”

“Very well,” Hakkai gave a reassuring smile as he stood. “You rest. I’ll come get you when everything is ready.”

Reaching out, Gojyo captured Hakkai’s wrist, halting the healer’s departure, “Are you sure about this, ‘Kai?”

Hakkai gazed at his friend. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’m not a woman, you know,” Gojyo answered quietly.

“I know that, Gojyo,” Hakkai answered with surprise. “Why do you feel it necessary to say that?”

“You dodged the question when I asked it earlier, so I’ll ask you again; have you really thought about this?”

“Yes, I have,” Hakkai admitted as he smiled wanly. “As you are aware, Gojyo, I am not opposed to relationships considered taboo.”

“Yeah, I remember,” the redhead nodded. “The sister thing.”

“Yes,” a shadow crossed Hakkai’s features as he thought of Kanan.

“Oh, fuck.” Gojyo looked as though he had stepped in something nasty that he couldn’t get off his shoe. “Hakkai, I shouldn’t have said that… I’m sorry.”

“Not at all,” Hakkai shook his head. “I am the one who brought the situation up first.”

“I know, but I…” Gojyo looked miserable.

“Gojyo, to borrow a line from you,” Hakkai answered patiently with a smile, “you worry too much. Now rest while I get the shower ready.”

“Okay,” was the quiet answer as Gojyo squeezed his eyes shut.

Hakkai studied his battered friend for a moment, perplexed by Gojyo’s unexpected hesitancy. Only minutes before, Gojyo seemed as if he was ready for anything, now, he seemed unsure. Hakkai watched his tightly closed eyelids before he moved to the shower room.

The inn was first class. The shower was big and spacious, a room within a room, it was lined with tiles on the floor and walls and two built-in benches on either side of the many showerheads. There was also a Jacuzzi set up just outside the shower room. It was tempting to use, but at the moment, blood covered almost every inch of Gojyo, soaking in water was not an option at this point. As he considered their current situation, Hakkai turned on the shower in order to warm up the water. He also made his way into the main room, glancing over at Gojyo’s motionless form as he retrieved the small oil lamp stored there for emergencies.

He couldn’t help but wonder if Gojyo was having second thoughts. It made sense – after all, the healer was certain that neither of them had thought out the long-term implications of what a night together might mean. Of course, considering the fact they both might be dead the next day did make planning seem unnecessary. Even so, Hakkai wanted more than a ‘quickie’ from Gojyo. Much more. Yet, he remained completely unsure as to what Gojyo might want. It was troubling.

At this point, Gojyo needed healing and Hakkai intended to see that he received it. However, Hakkai current mental state was so chaotic, he was concerned he might be tempted to invade Gojyo’s mind. If he did lose all constraint, it was possible Gojyo would not survive the encounter. Perhaps it was time he flexed his healing powers, he could employ other less invasive techniques that would give him practice in control and at the same time, Gojyo might find… enjoyable.

Gojyo had insisted he was certain about going forward with their relationship, but his current body language seemed to indicate otherwise, it was possible he would decline any further healing. Hakkai decided that perhaps it was time to employ the psychology that worked so well when he was a teacher. He tested the cascading water and finding it acceptably warm; he turned off the overhead lights, peeled off his clothes and called to his friend.



Gojyo lay in the bed staring at the ceiling and listening to Hakkai move from room to room.

Initially, he’d thought this was a good idea, but something was confusing him. He’d bedded hundreds of women and several men, although he didn’t often advertise the latter. Usually, the men were part of a threesome (or more-some as he liked to think of them,) with incidental contact for the most part and Gojyo had always been in control of the situation. He didn’t mind the men, but they’d never been like this. Those other men were not Hakkai.

Gojyo licked his lips as he thought about looking into those intense green eyes while they made love. What would that be like, seeing those eyes that watched every move, every twitch, and every shiver he made? Would they be the tantalizing demon eyes, or would they be the mesmerizing human eyes? It didn’t really matter, either way, Gojyo was sure those eyes could see his true self and all of his many flaws.

This was like a high stakes poker game and Gojyo wasn’t certain there was any way to win. If he lost, he could lose the person he loved most in the world. If he won, his days of complete freedom would come to an end. Gojyo wasn’t a fool, he understood what sleeping with Hakkai would mean and he took it very seriously. Hakkai was not someone who would grant Gojyo a second chance if he made a mistake and fooled around. Hakkai was for life.

He shook his head and closed his eyes, fatigue catching up with him. He wanted to rest but there was the image of the woman again, the woman with braided, brown hair and deep green eyes. A woman Gojyo didn’t know and had never seen before, but now haunted his memory. He was certain she was dead and equally certain her name was Kanan.

Kanan.

Although it was very clear, Gojyo realized he was not reliving his own memory as Kanan told him of her pregnancy from behind the iron prison bars. Even so, he wanted to shout to her that it didn’t matter; it didn’t matter if the baby’s eyes were green or if they were red, as long as she came home to him! However, words were pointless; each time, she would take the bloody knife from his belt and drag it across her throat, regardless of what he said. All he could do was watch and scream, the pain he felt was crushing, beyond devastating.

He would see her as she slumped towards the ground, her form changing during the fall. Her body became longer and bigger, her brown hair, now loose from her braid, changed to red. He observed, through Hakkai’s twisted memory, as Kanan finally lay dead on the prison floor, she turned completely into Gojyo.

He wasn’t sure what the memory/vision meant, but it was creepy, disturbing, and very, very passionate. Gojyo was confused, he didn't think he could be possibly be worthy of Hakkai’s intense feelings of love. Then again, he was probably mixed-up. Maybe Hakkai’s weird healing had just fucked up his head, and maybe the memory was simply something he dreamed up.

Yeah, that had to be it. Hakkai couldn’t feel that strongly for Gojyo, to put them on the same plane with his feelings for Kanan. That thought was just a silly impossibility on Gojyo’s part. Wasn’t it?

Hakkai called softly from inside the shower room. “The water is warm now. Come on, I’ll heal your injuries.”

Rolling to his side and standing, he groaned as he felt any number of small, partially scabbed wounds re-open from the action. He could hear the sound of splashing water and although part of him longed to be clean again, that also meant facing Hakkai - naked.

On top of all of his other emotions, he didn’t feel comfortable about undressing in front of Hakkai. It was a stupid, ridiculous feeling; they had been roommates for years and Hakkai had seen him naked many times before, so what was his issue? It wasn’t that Gojyo was naturally shy; normally, he was anything but shy, but these weren’t normal circumstances.

Now that the moment was upon him, Gojyo didn’t think he was ready for this. He’d decided that all he needed to do was tell Hakkai that he wasn’t ready.

He nearly laughed aloud with the thought. He wasn’t ready? What kind of lame excuse was that? He smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand and muttered to himself, wondering when he had become such a wimp. Wasn’t this what he’d always dreamed of, what he always wanted? The memory thing didn’t necessarily mean anything and they could simply take it one-step at a time.

Gojyo inhaled deeply and then limped slowly through the door. He fought to hide his surprise at what he saw.

The room was nearly dark and Gojyo knew that with his limiters in place, Hakkai’s night vision was poor. When you added in that he couldn’t wear his monocle in the shower, Hakkai was almost completely blind. Gojyo’s night vision, on the other hand, was very sharp. That left Gojyo with only one explanation for the darkened room; Hakkai must have noticed his nervousness and hoped the dimness would alleviate some of his friend’s embarrassment and fear.

It crossed the redhead’s mind that even at this moment, Hakkai showed concern for Gojyo’s frame of mind. The thought comforted him as he made his way towards the shower, remembering that he trusted Hakkai implicitly.

The large, tiled room was square and when Gojyo first stepped in, all he could see was a sizable Jacuzzi with a wide window above it. To his left was a long counter with two sinks, and then another open doorway. Gojyo followed the sounds of the shower through the entrance to the interior room, leading into the actual shower. The entrance was at one apex of the four-sided room and as he stepped into the shower, he took in the room.

The wall to his right had a large, hexagonal opening cut into it, a window to the empty Jacuzzi just on the other side of the wall. The bottom of the tiled hexagon made a convenient shelf and a selection of indoor plants made it their home along with a small oil lamp, the only source of light in the room. Looking up through a series of skylights, Gojyo gazed at the star-filled night sky.

His eyes shifted to the corner farthest from him. There were several showerheads arranged at different heights along both walls, some were detachable and some were not. The paths of the water crossed so the occupant received a good dousing from every angle. Hakkai stood naked in the center of the manmade waterfall and he looked…

Gojyo swallowed as he stood there staring at the vision that was Hakkai. The long, lean frame, flawless except for the one anomaly, the terrible scar he carried on his taut stomach. At present, Hakkai appeared even more appealing as the water cascaded over him, causing his skin to glisten in the dimly lit room. Gojyo was shirtless and barefoot but he did not make any motion towards removing his bloodied and torn pants. He wasn’t sure he could, or that he should. It seemed that all he was able to do was stare at Hakkai. His thoughts of the poker game analogy returned.

Hakkai smiled with a quietly contained amusement. “Is there something wrong, Gojyo?”

“I don’t think so.” Gojyo choked out. He did not sound convincing.

“Then, perhaps you need assistance in removing your clothing?” Hakkai smiled again with the question.

“Ah, no.” Gojyo was sure he was blushing. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Gojyo?”

“Yeah?”

There was a definite huskiness to Hakkai’s voice, as he asked, “Aren’t you joining me?”

“I um…”

“Who knew you were such an innocent flower, Gojyo. Perhaps, your stories about your varied conquests are just that, stories.” Hakkai taunted.

“Hey!” Gojyo answered, his feathers immediately ruffled by Hakkai’s accusations. He was about to go on a rant when he heard the gentle, teasing laughter.

“You are so predictable at times. Come on, I can barely see my hand in front of my face and you definitely need to be healed. You’re probably bleeding all over the floor as we speak.”

Gojyo looked down and saw the red droplets on the floor. His eyes shifted back to the lovely vision in front of him as he asked, “Are you certain you can’t see?”

Hakkai laughed again. “You, my friend, are a visual blur to me. Your actions, however…”

“I know, I know, predictable.” Exhaling, Gojyo embraced Hakkai’s teasing and tried to relax. “You know, I have the weirdest feeling about this.”

“How so?” Hakkai asked as he continued to stand under the shower. He beckoned Gojyo with his voice and his body as if he were a Siren, luring Gojyo to his doom.

Gojyo didn’t care if it led to his doom. He heeded the call, slipping out of his pants and tossing them towards the doorway. “I dunno. I guess I’ve always had this image of seducing you, of wooing you into my clutches. I know it sounds kind of lame, but now that things have turned out differently, I’m a little out of my element.”

“Why, Gojyo,” Hakkai smiled a true smile. “I’m touched by your candor.”

“Yeah, well,” Gojyo attempted to shrug away his embarrassment. Why had he been so up front?

Hakkai’s voice was troubled as he asked, “Are you disappointed events did not unfold that way? That you were not the one to seduce me?”

Stepping into the water brought him closer to the lithe form of his friend. Damn, if Hakkai wasn’t the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. “Am I disappointed? What a question.”

“So, you are not disappointed?”

“No,” Gojyo smiled. He could feel his bravado lurking close by, but it remained just out of reach. “Okay, ‘Kai, I’m in the shower, now what?”

“Your hair,” Hakkai started and then had to clear his throat. “Your hair has blood in it. I’ll wash it for you.”

“Hakkai,” Gojyo’s lips curled into a smile as his bluster returned. “I’m not made of glass, ya know. I can wash my own hair.”

The healer’s voice dripped sarcasm as he agreed, “Yes, I can see that. You can barely stand and your right arm is currently useless. If you prefer, I can heal you now and then you’ll be too exhausted to wash it on your own.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Gojyo acquiesced. Why was Hakkai being such a…

Hakkai steered him, pushed him actually, towards a bench built into a nearby wall.

“Hey!” He complained.

“Be quiet, Gojyo, and quit acting as if you are a defiant child,” the healer commanded as he grabbed the nearest shower nozzle and doused the blood matted red hair.

The water was warm and it stung Gojyo in a thousand different places. Had their circumstances been usual, he would have sworn a blue streak. This, however, was anything but normal.

After his hair was sufficiently soaked, the water ceased gently pelting his skull and then those elegant fingers he dreamed about threaded themselves through his wet hair and began massaging shampoo into his scalp.

“See,” Hakkai crooned, “it’s not so bad, is it?”

The only answer was a deep moan.

Gojyo kept his hair long for two reasons. The first was obvious, to hide the ugly scars his mother gave him when he was a child, but the other reason he guarded more closely and no one really knew of it. The women he slept with loved his hair, they loved to touch it, play with it and tug on it. Gojyo always feigned indifference, but the truth was, having his hair stroked was a major turn on. He suspected that Hakkai, with his razor sharp sense of perception, was about to figure out that secret.

“Gojyo? Am I hurting you?”

“Mmm,” was the most coherent answer the redhead could muster.

Hakkai’s answer was full of amusement. “I see. Gojyo?”

“Mmm?”

“Do I need to take any special care of your antennae?”

His answer was slow and dreamlike, “Nope. You can treat ‘em just like my hair.”

“They feel as if they are nothing more than extra-thick hair. I’ve longed to touch them.”

“Mmm.” There was a moment’s pause before Gojyo’s eyes opened to stare at his naked friend washing his hair. When had he closed his eyes? “Wait a minute; you’ve always wanted to touch my antennae?”

Hakkai chuckled. “Yes, amongst other areas of your anatomy. Lean over, it’s time to rinse.”

Warm water once again cascaded over Gojyo’s head as his mind reeled with the ‘other areas of your anatomy’ comment. As Hakkai’s deft fingers resumed their sweet caressing of his scalp, Gojyo found he could not help leaning into their touch. Much to his embarrassment, he found he also could not contain his purr of contentment.

“Lean back,” Hakkai directed with one hand on his friend’s shoulder in order to guide him.

Gojyo sat up. His eyes closed again, partly from pleasure and partly from necessity to keep water and soap out of his eyes.

“Are you relaxed?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Hakkai whispered. “Try to stay that way.”

There was that warm glow, and those marvelous fingers left his scalp to travel his body. There were a million of them, all touching him with intimate, carnal knowledge, finding his most private fantasies and bringing them to fruition. His erection was instant and aching, his balls already tight with anticipation of release.

“Hakkai…” Gojyo groaned, pressing himself back into the wall as his heels tried to dig into the tiled floor. “Oh, fuck...”

“Shh,” the healer instructed. His voice was soothing, “Don’t fight me.”

Gojyo tried to form the incredulous words, fight you? All that came out of his lips was a string of incoherent sounds. He teetered on the edge of ecstasy for what felt like an eternity and then, finally, gratefully, he felt his orgasm burst free, splattering both Hakkai and himself.

He was partially lying on the bench and Hakkai was on his knees next to him. Both of them panted with exertion. He gazed at his healer, letting his eyes roam over the crouching figure, searching. Hakkai’s cock was difficult to miss in its current condition, since healing definitely affected him, almost as much as it did Gojyo. The redhead sighed in relief as he realized the hot spring incident had not been a fluke. Maybe there was something to that memory thing after all.

“Hakkai, can I ask you something?” Gojyo panted as he sat up. His flexed his arm it felt much better.

“Yes,” Hakkai gazed at him.

“Does healing me ever make you come?”

The green eyes practically sparkled in the dim light of the shower. “Not right away. I usually… I have to…”

“I see,” Gojyo smiled. “Not tonight, you won’t.”

“Maybe,” Hakkai answered as he grabbed a detachable shower nozzle and rinsed them both off. “However, you have two serious injuries remaining and you’ve lost an unsettling amount of blood.”

“But that’s not fair to you, ‘Kai,” Gojyo complained as he watched the healing glow come to life again.

“Why would you say that?” Hakkai gave Gojyo a predatory smile as the glow expanded. “I have my reasons for doing what I do, Gojyo, do not mistake them for unselfishness.”

Those million fingers were back, breaking loose from a wounded spot on his side, spreading across his body and he slipped towards a fever dream in which time stopped for him. He couldn’t remember when they started and how long it continued, but Hakkai did something different to him this time. This wasn’t the normal healing, but it wasn’t the intensely intimate mental sharing, either. This time, Hakkai set Gojyo adrift on a continuous sea of sexual pleasure and held him there without release or respite; it was glorious torture.

During his sweet torment, he wasn’t certain what happened in the physical realm, but there were images of things done to him, flashes of fingers slipping into his ass and of lips closing around his cock, there were sensory impressions of skin on skin. Hakkai was inducting him into something new, something he never dreamed of before, and Gojyo embraced what was happening with delirious willingness.

When he finally came to his senses, Gojyo was on the shower floor, covered in come, drooling and unimaginably spent. Hakkai was on his knees, also splattered with come. Gojyo couldn’t help but notice his healer’s flaccid cock.

He felt smug, but it took almost all his remaining strength to smile and say, “So you did come this time.”

Nodding, Hakkai answered tiredly, “Yes. I did.”

Climbing unsteadily to his feet, Hakkai retrieved the nozzle one more time and quickly washed off the evidence of their encounter, and then he turned the gentle spray towards Gojyo. The water was lukewarm at this point but Gojyo didn’t mind and Hakkai rinsed him clean.

"Hakkai, I don’t think I’ve… amazing seems like too simple of a word," he said dreamily, still feeling as though he was floating in sexual bliss.

"Come on," Hakkai turned off the water and helped him to his feet. "You need to sleep now."

"What?" He blinked at the healer. "But I thought..."

"Sleep, Gojyo, is what you need,” Hakkai informed him as he dried him with one of the dwindling supply of towels in the room. “I can only heal you to a point, and then your body has to do the rest. You're still in some pain aren't you?"

"Yeah, but it's nothing, it’s not nearly as bad."

Hakkai smiled at him as he finished drying him. "You can barely see straight. You've lost a lot of blood and healing tends to exhaust you as well."

"I think it's you that tends to tire me out," Gojyo answered.

"Regardless of the reason, you are fatigued." Hakkai grabbed another towel and dried himself off.

"But, Hakkai, we... you know." Gojyo stammered.

Hakkai placed yet another towel on Gojyo’s head, responding sternly, "Not tonight. I don't want to take advantage of your weakened condition."

Gojyo chuckled. "Advantage? Oh, please, you'll have to do better than that."

"Very well, then. The truth is, I want us both at our best." Hakkai's brow furrowed.

"Really?" One eyebrow shot up. "Why is that?"

"I can be a... demanding lover." Hakkai explained as he steered Gojyo out of the room and towards the bed.

“Is that all?” Gojyo prodded as he sat down on the bed. Somehow, instinctively he knew there was more on his friend’s mind. “Or is there something else?”

Hakkai sighed as he began drying Gojyo’s hair with the towel. “Don’t you ever worry about me?”

Gojyo’s hands stopped the hair drying and crimson eyes studied Hakkai with mild curiosity. “Worry about you? In what way?”

“Sometimes,” Hakkai’s green eyes skittered away, “I can be intense.”

“Oh,” Gojyo said and then paused, mentally sifting through the many layers of Hakkai’s personality in order to figure out which “intense” Hakkai was referencing. Gojyo’s roommate was funny about certain topics and bringing up something touchy could unravel the closeness they currently shared. Unfortunately, Gojyo was convinced it was one of those taboo subjects at the core of Hakkai’s concern. The intensity Hakkai referred to was his demon-side.

Picking his words carefully, Gojyo began, “How long have we been on the road now?” He reached out and gently took Hakkai’s hand, loosely so Hakkai could separate easily if he wanted to. “Before that, how long were we roommates?”

“Gojyo, that’s different.”

“No, it’s not. In fact, maybe it’s more important. I’ve seen you, Hakkai, in all of your… moods.” There. He’d said it. “You’ve never made me worry, except those times when you have little regard for your own life.”

Hakkai stared at him.

“Yes, I’ll admit, there are times when I wonder if I can handle you, but that doesn’t mean I’m afraid or worried. It means I’m not sure I can be enough for you.” He yawned involuntarily. “But, I’d really like to give it try.”

“Enough for tonight. Sleep now, we’ll speak more in the morning.”

Gojyo could barely keep his eyes open as he asked, “You will stay here, won’t you? You’ll want to tend to the rest of my injuries, after all. I may require additional healing.”

“Yes, I’ll stay,” Hakkai smiled as he helped him under the bedding.

“Good… you’ll be here so we can talk in the morning?”

“Sleep. I’ll be here.”

Gojyo forced himself to stay awake until he felt Hakkai sliding into bed next to him. Predictably, Hakkai curled into himself, facing the edge of the bed with his back to Gojyo. He moved nearer and threw an arm around Hakkai, snuggling into his warm back. “Hey, Kai?”

“Hmm,” was the quiet reply.

“Have you worked out the logistics of sleeping with me?”

“Hmm,” Hakkai answered.

“Well,” Gojyo continued as he pressed his body closer to Hakkai’s, molding them together. “Perhaps you should try and keep an open mind about all possibilities.”

“I’m not certain I understand. Ah, Gojyo, do you mean…”

“Just think about it, ‘Kai,” Gojyo mumbled as he squeezed Hakkai closer to him and finally allowed himself to drift towards sleep.

If Hakkai was in bed with him, he must be dreaming. Gojyo hoped he slept for a long, long time.


End

See you again and thanks for reading!