Towers of Silence

I’m sorry that I’m so late, actually this chapter had been finished 2 months ago but I had trouble finding a new beta. On this occasion I feel obliged to thank my new beta for hurrying up so much^^

Towers of Silence
-Pussy whipped
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I was washing my hands when I heard Gojyo coughing and throwing up on the floor. And I enjoyed it. I enjoyed listening to his desperate moans; admiring the image my mind showed me when I heard those sounds. He was beautiful when he was suffering.

Now I realized that I was hard. I wouldn’t have expected anything else after acting the big shot, but I was also annoyed because he was always successful in making me hard, and therefore being in control of me. I was staring at my mirror image: dark violet eyes, long lashes (but not as long as his), dark blond and awfully sticky hair, pale skin…whatever I tried to make it get a bit darker failed. His skin was so wonderful to look at, just like golden velvet.

I saw a shadow in the mirror and blinked to clear my vision. Gojyo was plodding towards the bathroom, maybe to look for something to clean up the floor with. I decided to watch him; I was curious about what his reaction would be after my actions. He opened the door, shot me a very brief, scared glance, and knelt down to look for a cloth under the sink. When he had found one he stood up and snuck out of the room. Finally I had regained my former authority.

I stepped out of the room to watch him clean up the floor. He was so disgusted that he was nearly gagging again, and now I pitied him. With a few quick steps I had crossed the room and joined him on the floor. He didn’t look up or turn his head; he just slowly continued wiping the stains from his soul. I put a hand on his and guided him until that yellowish liquid had disappeared.

He still didn’t move but just kept staring at my hand; he waited for me to do something. So I got up and sighed. Every time I suddenly got up I saw white stars dancing in front of my eyes, and I always had to wait a few moments before I was able to make a step without keeling over. That was really annoying. I tried to sound friendly - Sanzo-friendly.

“I’ll make coffee.”

And I went to the kitchen to do what I had said. This time Hakkai wasn’t there, maybe he knew that we would claim the kitchen sooner or later. This time it was later. I was so used to these actions, taking spoons out of the drawer, switching on the stove and so on, that I was becoming lost in thought.

Maybe I had overplayed this time. Deep in my soul I didn’t want him to suffer like that - I wanted him to suffer and enjoy it, but I didn’t want him to suffer for MY enjoyment alone. Suddenly I thought I felt a piercing look. I turned around and saw just a forehead.

Gojyo looked up. He stared at me with eyes like marbles, so much colour in them but still nothing there to express.

I couldn’t but hug him and comfort him with the same look. He was like a loyal dog, or maybe also a loyal cat, following his owner into death and through fire. I rubbed his back and hugged him tighter.

But whatever I thought, reality didn’t catch up with it. Gojyo wasn’t looking at me with his beautiful eyes, and I wasn’t rubbing his back. I didn’t feel any piercing look, I only caught a glimpse of Gojyo, grabbing his jacket and slamming the door behind him. And I really didn’t know whether he was hurt or happy. Sadly, I took his cup and put it back in its place in the cupboard. I told myself that he just wanted to take a walk and to get some fresh air, but I didn’t really believe in this either.

I took my coffee and went to our room to watch TV. Sooner or later he would show up again. I knew the film they were showing, but only 4 minutes passed and I had already lost consciousness.
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Unfortunately, I was awoken by some noise caused by Hakkai instead of Gojyo.

“I’m sorry to bother you, Sanzo, but do you know where Gojyo has gone to?”

“Nh…”

What was he thinking? It took my brain a few seconds just to register his words, and then he expects that I should immediately be able to think and respond when I had just woken up? He demanded too much of me.

“Sanzo, I’m worried, I can’t find Hakuryu either…”

I turned around to get him out of my vision. Stupid idiot anyway. I still felt a faint unease from being alone with him in a room.

“It’s important, have you-?”

He had touched my shoulder and tried to turn me around so I pushed his hand away. I cleared my throat and pulled on the blanket.

“Fuck off!!”

I knew that he would leave me alone after I had talked to him like that. He left indeed, and I was happy to drown in silence again.

It was raining, maybe still raining or maybe raining again; it didn’t make any difference at all. I was too numb to worry about Gojyo, I was too drowsy to think about anything, so I let the rain cry and worry for me. But somehow it was nice to think in that state of mind – when you see images but you don’t exactly know why they turn up. For some moments I saw Gojyo, for the next I saw a temple and then just a sea of red.


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I jerked when I felt ice touching my flank. I sat up and saw nothing except darkness, heard nothing except silence. I looked to the spot where I imagined Gojyo would be, but I couldn’t recognize him in the night, and therefore I cursed my night blindness. Tired of assuming things, I reached out and my hand landed on his face. If I hadn’t known that stones were dead things I would have thought that this was a big stone. His cheek felt so cold and even his breath wasn’t very warm. Now I heard him whispering hoarsely.

“I’m sorry I woke you up, Sanzo. I thought I could sneak under the blanket without waking you but…I’m-”

I had covered his mouth with my hand.

“Shut up and come closer, you feel like an ice cube.”

I felt him smiling, and I removed the hand to put it down under the blanket and pull him closer. I knew that his skin was as cool as cold steel and I tried to prepare myself for the icy touch, but I still couldn’t stifle a cry when his belly touched mine.

“I think maybe I…shouldn’t come closer, I mean…”

Now I moved closer and scissored my legs to wrap myself around him. My body temperature was much too high and his was much too low, so we were a good match at the moment. Normally I snuggled up to his chest, but this time it was him who was searching for some body heat and comfort. His nose was nestled against my throat and his lips were touching my collarbone. His body was cold and dead, but his tongue was still as warm and welcome as ever and I had to admit that I liked how he licked over my skinny bones.

“Where have you been, Gojyo?”

He didn’t answer me, and I didn’t know whether he had already fallen asleep. I tried to look down at his eyes, but I couldn’t see anything. I tried whispering.

“Gojyo…”

He was rubbing his groin against my cock. I tried to ignore it.

“Where have you been?”

He groaned, but finally was as gracious as to answer me.

“In the city.”

“Why?”

He just grunted, put his arms round my back, and was nice enough to draw the last bit of heat from me. I started shivering from the penetrating cold, and with distaste I felt my nipples go stiff. And I knew what was coming now…whenever I felt a sudden cold chill, my body jerked and I could no longer control my muscles. They started twitching and constricting like they were triggered by electric pulses.

Gojyo must have felt it too, because he loosened his grip a bit.

“Is something wrong, honey?”

My jaw and throat were also acting on their own and it was hard to speak.

“I…just feel c-cold.”

With a quick move Gojyo had drawn away until he was lying on the other side of the bed, eager not to touch me.

“Why didn’t you say something then? I would have moved away much sooner.”

“Mh…”

I was curling up because the coolness was very uncomfortable and made me more rigid than I had already been from waking up in the middle of the night. I heard Gojyo getting up and going to the other side of the room. I didn’t know whether he left or just went into the bathroom but I didn’t care anyway, I was too busy with forcing myself to breath. After some minutes he came back and pulled me up to drag me out of bed. I wasn’t able to get up the very second he wanted me to, so I landed on the floor with a gasp.

“Come on, don’t raise hell…”

“I’m COLD!!”

Once again he made me stay on my feet and accompanied me to the bathroom. When he opened the door, light flooded through the slit and steam hit my face. I closed my eyes because it hurt to look into that bright light after staring into darkness for the whole time. Irrespective of that, he guided me to the tub where he had drawn a bath. He smiled at me, or at least I thought so, and whispered into my ear.

“That’s for you.”

My mood changed in a fraction of a second when I heard that I should step into that warmness now. How long had I gone without any bathing…I liked so much to lie down there in the tub and get carried away…? He helped me into the bathing tub, and although the water was much too hot for it, I lay down and covered my whole body with stinging hot water. A sigh escaped me and some moments passed until I could think again.

“But what about you? You’re much colder than I am; it’s you who should take a bath.”

He sat down on the edge of the tub.

“It’s so hot in here that I don’t need to get in to feel comfortable again.”

I was tired and too lazy to think, but what I knew was that I wanted a water sprite in my water. I surreptitiously looked at him: just his boxers, a wide undershirt and socks. I had to smirk about that because he always mocked people who wore socks when they went to bed. He was leaning against the wall, his feet hanging on the ground and his hands between his thighs.

Maybe he was daydreaming about something, because he was smiling and looking at nothing in particular. I hadn’t expected him to recover that quickly from my attack. I would have thought that he wouldn’t even look at me for at least another day, and then slowly start to smile whenever he happened to notice me looking at him. Or maybe he just hid his fear, forcing himself to stay calm when talking to me; I couldn’t tell. Normally it was easy to tell what he was feeling, but when it came to such things, like what Hakkai always did, like smiling when he was deadly depressed or hurt, I didn’t know what was going on.

Maybe I should have asked him what he was feeling, but he would have been too embarrassed to tell me about it. On the other hand he had told me twice to talk about my worries and sorrows, and my current worry was Gojyo. Well, then I should try to make an effort.

Quickly I sat up and caught his wrist, pulling on it so that he slid into the tub with a loud noise. His head first hit the water, and then the bottom of the tub, and as he was lying there like that, his ass was sticking out of the water. I chuckled when I thought about a professional water sprite, combined with the picture of him now, stupidly twisting to get his head above the surface and his ass down. I let go of his hand and he was up immediately.

He was panting heavily, I think more so from the shock than from having been under water for some time. For a moment I let myself get aroused by the sight of him: his dark red hair was sticking to his head, several strands were lying on his face and water was eternally flowing down the red streams. His lashes had caught tiny pearls of water, and as he blinked they remained precariously in place.

He was surprised, and he didn’t think about defending himself or doing something, so I reached out again and pressed him against the wall of the tub with my forearm, staring at him seriously. His hands appeared in my sight, and then he grabbed my hand, but he didn’t really pull on it - he was still scared. Nevertheless I had to ask him and talk to him about it, to let him taste his own bitter medicine of talking.

“Are you still scared of me, you idiot?”

He tried to swallow, but I hindered him from doing that by pressing my arm against his throat so he couldn’t but gasp. His eyes were half closed, but his pupils were so shrunken with fear that they were barely visible and his mouth opened and shut without a sound. He seemed so nervous that I had to ask myself what I had really done to him to cause those emotions.

“Gojyo?”

He turned his head and showed me a red sea.

“You ought to answer me when I’m talking to you!” I screamed. Inwardly I was calm like no one else, but I had to act the annoyed bitch to make him talk, because he wouldn’t talk about it if I was softly speaking to him and pleading with him to tell me about his feelings. He had to be under pressure before he would talk to me about it.

I pressed his throat tighter against the wall, and at the same time shouted his name in a fretful voice. His head jerked and he stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“I asked you whether you are still SCARED of me!!”

He blinked and closed his mouth, and if he were a dog, at that moment he would have drawn in his horns and buried his head in the sand. He didn’t want to talk to me; it was obvious that he was too shy, embarrassed and confused for me to expect to get proper words from him. But neither I nor he would give up quickly - as always.

“I…” He pulled his legs closer to his body, “I…yes…”

I stared at him with furious eyes, and I knew that this was all I could force him to say for the moment. Anyway, he had admitted that he was still scared of me, so I had practically achieved what I wanted anyway. So I let go of him and sat back, closing my eyes.
And Gojyo, like he always did, that silly idiot, stared at me, puzzled, and would have forgotten to breathe if his body wasn’t cleverer than his brain. But he was so damn cute when he looked like that. He looked baffled, as if he was unsure of what to do now. Either he would leave the tub now, or he would stay there and look to the side, gnawing on his tongue.

I got up carefully because the hot water wasn’t good for my circulatory system, and then sat down again between his feet. I lay back against his chest and put my head on his shoulder. He really couldn’t miss the hint; this one posture destroyed all of my authority, it made me helpless and exposed, and Gojyo couldn’t misunderstand that. I felt him hesitating for a moment, but then he put his hands on my chest to claim me for himself.

We should have taken a bath together more often because I was doubly safe now: firstly Gojyo would catch me if I fell asleep and slipped under the water, and secondly he was a water sprite, so he surely had some special abilities concerning water. He was still such a sweet-tempered dumbass, he just let everything happen to him, let himself get hurt in his soul rather than protest or complain about my behaviour.
I really damaged him and his character; I was afraid that he might remain that way, and that other people would treat him badly for their own advantage. But well, there was no one who would get the chance to do that because I wouldn’t let him go.

On this occasion, I was suddenly reminded of my own situation: I was the bitchy blond, bossing everyone about and shooting at other people just because they breathed the same air as I did. In bed I loved to lose control; I enjoyed that feeling of helplessness, of being unable to defend myself. I hoped that Gojyo also felt that way.

If I remembered correctly it was him who had started the relationship. He had invited me for a drink and then slowly turned me into his pet. No one had ever treated me that generously before, or had ever been willing to buy me - the asshole number one - a drink.
But Gojyo had. Even though he had no money and nothing to pay with except for some small change not even worth mentioning, he spent it on having a drink with me. He could have bought himself three drinks or a good meal, but instead he had decided to share a few moments with me.

I had come to lie on his shoulder; heaven knows why I did that. The waiter had already brought the drinks and the music was getting too loud for me to bear anymore. Anyway, all the people around, stupidly talking about stupid things, such superficial shit, it was difficult for me to cope with all that at once. I had spent my days alone, lying in alleys, counting the minutes until dusk again and waiting for something like death. And now I had to bear a room full of idiots, too concerned about them to bother about anything else.

Wasn’t I just the same? Wasn’t I just like them, egoistically walking alone and all the time having his way? I had to swallow as panic rose in me. I was nothing special. All the people around, laughing, joking and some sadly hanging on their chairs, doing nothing different from what I was doing, it was so sickening and depressing. I had always thought that I was different from others, but what I saw then had smashed my hopes and the only thought I had that had always made me smile.

The whole earth was breaking apart; I had come to look behind things and this had been my perdition. Now I wished that I could rest as blind as I had been then, but that wasn’t possible anymore. I think a little moan escaped me when I realized this and I whined something like “Oh gods…” but it drowned in the noise of the world. It drowned, not audible to anyone except Gojyo.

I was just like anybody else in the room until I felt his lips on my cheek. I kept staring into the crowd of animals; I should have protested and hit him and even shot him but I just kept sitting there, enjoying a warm feeling in my stomach. Maybe he was aware of the fact that he was risking being shot at by doing that, and that was what had broken the last wall in my mind.

He accepted death just to be able to show me his affection for once. Just for once. I don’t know how long he had already liked or even loved me, but there had never been any sign of it. I didn’t care that a man had kissed me. I should have, I fucking should have, but there was nothing telling me to get up. I wasn’t even drunk yet; my drink was waiting on the table, the ice slowly melting. It was melting…until there would be nothing left but cold water.

I was sure that he had chosen a sweet one, not one as bitter as I always used to have. He wasn’t the type to drink bitter stuff, the kind where he would regret having put his lips on the glass at the first sip, but already longing for another gulp. He loved it sweet.

Why did I know that? Why had I even tried to memorize that, and why was I able to recall it now? I didn’t give a damn about what kind of alcohol he liked, I couldn’t even think of any meal that Hakkai liked. But well, Gojyo liked coffee. And noodle soup with just about everything thrown into it.
The situation was getting more difficult and it was time for me to get drunk just to stop myself from THINKING ABOUT WHAT HE LIKED AND DISLIKED.

I reached out with my left hand and took my drink, and I had a little fight to get the straw between my lips. I sucked on it. Sweet. Damn sweet. It was orange, a typical tall drink with a little umbrella sticking in a wedge of orange. Maybe it was the cheapest drink they had, but I was angry with myself for thinking like that.

Damn it, I could think whatever I wanted. But even if that had been the cheapest one I really appreciated Gojyo spending the last of his money on it. I needed more of the drink, quickly. I was already sick from the bad air and I knew that it would just get worse when I started drinking, but I carried on for god’s sake. Everybody in that room carried on with whatever stupid action he had started; they all played cards, chatted or flirted and Genjyo Sanzo Houshi-sama was leaning against a man’s shoulder. Good thing it wasn’t his chest already.

I hadn’t eaten anything for days so the alcohol was spreading very quickly, and the effects didn’t leave me unimpressed. My heartbeat sped up uncomfortably, and I felt so hot that I would have stripped down to my non-existent shorts if I hadn’t been so tired and sick and then a desire to…to do something with him rose in me. I ignored it by drinking more of that sweet hell and when I had finished the drink I tried to put the empty glass back on the table, but he caught my hand and safely put it back there for me. I wasn’t different from anyone else there.

All those people where there to drown their sorrows; they got drunk to forget about their misery and I was there but to face it and to suffer from it. I was different. He had kissed me.

They all ignored us - a man sitting in his chair and another man leaning on his shoulder and ready to burst out in tears. I didn’t know why I wanted to cry, I felt the urge to do it but I didn’t know why. While I was debating on whether or not to give in I felt the tears already running down my cheeks, and what made me bite my lips was his gentle touch, wiping them away with his thumb. I didn’t want him to do that, I wanted a handkerchief to do that for myself…but no one dared to give me one. He pushed me closer to him until finally I had come to rest against his chest.

When I thought about the next day, the dirty sun setting on the horizon, black clouds appearing from nowhere and a soft wind brutally scratching my face, I didn’t want to hold the tears back anymore. He wore a black chemise made of cotton and when my tears hit it, it got even blacker. How could that be…? But it was easy to explain, because everything gets darker and worse if you give up. I had given up again, and every time I gave up something worse happened and I was left broken and empty.

While waiting for the next hit I felt his hand stroking my cheek and he gave me a soft squeeze. But it was only fantasy. Nothing happened; he blocked my view with his hand, preventing me from seeing the world and its darkness, forcing me to see his darkness.

And his darkness was so beautiful.

He was suffering like I was, and just as much. We were brave enough to face reality, to admit that we were lost and lonely, and brave enough to accept comfort. This really surprised me. I had never accepted any comfort; everyone who had ever tried to give me comfort was now lying under the moist earth, six feet under.

I blamed it on the alcohol. I clenched my teeth and pulled on his shirt. And gods, how I longed for his lips, to feel them on mine, to lick over them, to claim them for myself and no one else. He wouldn’t like that. He had kissed me because of pity; he hadn’t been serious.

I hadn’t realized that he had taken my face into his hands, and now I noticed that I was staring into the most indescribable eyes I had ever seen in my life. They were still red like blood; I had lied to him, blood was the only colour that this red could take. I had lied for my sake, to get rid of the blood on my own hands. The blood was dripping on me, caressing my face, softly waving in the warm air… no chance of escaping.

I wet my lips as I stared into those black holes encircled with lively fire. He also must have seen something in my eyes because he was looking at them so intently that I thought he’d look right through me and stab me with his gaze. I had never had the chance to look at his eyes from that close, to just look at them and not be bothered by anyone…they were shining with a fire I had lost. He would give it back to me, he would share the fire with me, he would make me alive again, I just knew it at this moment. We had gotten caught in the endless flow of time, trapped in a second and chained there until it would elapse and kill us. Death came slowly, with half closed eyes and a red mane, and I thought that I’d like to die a thousand times for that death.

The silence he brought along with him killed my thoughts and slashed my reason. My heartbeat was unbearable, I felt it in every vein and my head and limbs were so slack that I had tensed up to remain seated there and not fall on the floor. I tried to turn my head but my muscles refused and the screams with which my reason was yelling at me were deafening. I smelled his scent; it had been quite a while since I had been allowed to smell it until now…his eyes were closed and one single tear slowly traced its way down his cheek.

As his lips touched mine I was so desperate and happy that I wanted to faint just to escape those irritating feelings. A second passed, containing nothing but me and him, containing nothing but heavy darkness and light. The tears were rolling down my face as I opened my lips and hungrily sucked on his. For so long I had denied that feeling, for so long I had tried to stop myself from longing for a comforting touch and for so long I had tried to ignore him.

I had missed so much; life was floating through me like a river and overwhelming desire made me embrace him and clench his hair. I couldn’t stop myself from licking over his lips, even if he had wanted to draw back I wouldn’t have allowed him to do that and I fucking didn’t care about the others anymore - whether they were staring at us or ignoring us, it didn’t matter. My soul had found its way to my mouth and I bit down hard on his lips, so hard that I felt his fingers dig into my skin and heard a half hearted gasp. I also dug my nails into the soft flesh of his neck and pressed his face against mine, still biting on his sore lips. He let it happen, he didn’t push me away, and that made me even more desperate. All my grief and sorrow were laid into those bites and the blood I tasted let me forget the bitterness of life and living, it let me forget about everything.

When his lips were all sore I stopped, panting heavily and in fact hardly even drunk anymore. He had murdered my reason, he had made me commit suicide, and he had caused the red mess in front of me. I was sitting on his thighs, staring at him, and he was staring back, lost and forgotten. His fire had burned out, I felt it floating through me and for the first time I saw him like that - broken, crushed and hurt, but so happy about it that it was painful for me to look at him.

Gojyo was still stroking my chest and face when I had fallen asleep in the comfortably hot water…


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When I woke up in the morning the water was still warm, and I had to admit that it felt wonderful to wake up in the bathing tub, full of hot water, feelings and contentment. Gojyo had already left; I didn’t know where he had gone to, but he wasn’t in the bathroom anymore.
Slowly I sat up and prepared to stand; my skin was so softened that I thought you could stretch it over another man. Carefully I stood up and waited a few moments. That familiar feeling mixed with sickness and numbness hit me, and I had to support myself by leaning against the wall.

After a moment of breathing deeply I stepped out of the tub and searched for a towel to dry my body and hair. Then I went into my room, and the first thing I did was unwillingly look around to search for Gojyo, but he wasn’t there. It rarely happened that I woke up and didn’t see him. I put on my pants and a black top with spaghetti straps. I knew that he loved that.

Slowly I went to the kitchen where Hakkai greeted me with a smile. He wasn’t angry with me because I hadn’t answered him yesterday.
He was used to my moods. With a dry voice I asked him whether he knew where Gojyo was. His smile got even brighter.

“He told me to give that to you as soon as you wake up.”

And he showed me a letter. I took it, opened it and pulled out the piece of paper. I had to smirk because I could barely read what he had written on the sheet, his letters were always horrible to read. He had written something in red on it and at the end of the sheet was an arrow, pointing at the right edge of the sheet.

“Do you know what it says on the paper, Hakkai?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t dare open a letter that’s supposed to be for you.”

“’Follow the arrow.’”

I showed him the sheet and he smiled.

“Well, then you shall follow the arrow. And where is it pointing?”

Damn. Too early for this game. I sighed. And Hakkai helped me.

“At the door! It’s pointing at the door. Now hurry up.”

I had to give a short laugh at that.
“What? You really think….the door? Seriously?”

It couldn’t be that easy. But Hakkai was still smiling at me so I took my sandals and went towards the door. In the background I heard Hakkai standing up and following me. I opened the door and took a step until I noticed it. I felt Hakkai peering over my shoulder, eager to see what was waiting for me there - another big, thin arrow in red, pointing at the little path on the right. I turned my head and suspiciously looked at Hakkai. He just shrugged.

“Well, I’d say, you follow the arrow…”

So I went to the picture on the ground and looked at it for a moment. Hakkai hadn’t followed me. He was standing in the doorway, smiling and enjoying the cold morning air. I followed the path until I saw another arrow. I tried to think what Gojyo might have wanted to show me or…or whatever, but I couldn’t make sense of those red arrows. At a parting of the ways I saw the fourth arrow, pointing at the path which led to the waterfall. Now I was really curious. I hurried to get there and after I had turned the corner I stopped.

Some meters in front of me the water was licking the shore softly with a pleasant sound. In the middle of the pool was a stone. It had always been there, but I had never seen it because the water was always troubled by the waterfall. It could have also been a larger rock, assuming that the pool was rather deep, but I didn’t know.

He was standing on that stone, with bare feet, his black jeans and a long black top. He was smiling so honestly and happily at me that I had to smile as well. I took a few steps until the water was caressing my toes.

“Look down,” he shouted in order to be heard over the thundering noise of the waterfall.

I cast my eyes down and saw another red arrow swimming in the water. What, swimming in the water? The colour was swimming on the water…somehow. With my eyes I followed the arrow and saw some more colours on the water, also in red. I read what he had written there.

I swallowed and looked up again, and my gaze made him so happy that he was smiling even more. I looked down again and blinked.

“I…I…”

I was so happy about it and so absolutely surprised that I couldn’t talk.

“I…had forgotten that…it’s my birthday…totally…forgotten…”

Suddenly I felt a cold hand grabbing my wrist and pulling me into the water. I expected to be pulled into the water but instead of that I was pulled on the water. I couldn’t believe it and stared down at my feet and the water, little circles forming around my feet, but he pulled me further away from the shore to the stone in the middle of it. When we arrived there he kissed me softly and whispered: “Happy Birthday, honey.”

I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t cry and I couldn’t smile, all I could do was staring at him and doing everything all at once. I cried, and I wanted to say something and I smiled, and he took me into his arms and held me tight. Finally I had regained some control of myself and buried myself deeper against his shirt.

“Thank you…”

He took my face into his hands just like he had done when we were at the bar in that wicked town. It was so nice, so heart-warming to look into his eyes.

“I…had really forgotten…”

He smiled.

“But I haven’t.”

Gojyo let go of me and went on the water. He turned around.

“Come on, you won’t drown here.”

He went to the waterfall. I trusted him, and I wouldn’t have harmed him even if the water had swallowed me. It felt weird, walking on water. It gave way a little bit, but then it was hard like earth; it was fascinating. When I had joined him in front of the waterfall he looked at me.

“I just changed the density of it. It’s simple.”

He reached down and put his hand through the surface.

“But… I thought it would be…”

He smiled at me from down there.

“I can do whatever I want to do with it,” and now he whispered,” and I can even do this…”

The water gave way, and with a splash I fell into it, first quickly, then slowly sinking down a bit. I was lucky that I had inhaled shortly before I had sunk down…
Nevertheless, I wasn’t in the mood for swimming now; it was much too early for such things. Suddenly he also appeared, and with a few moves he was levitating in front of me.

I was so surprised and stunned that I couldn’t do anything; I was just hanging in the water like a corpse. He pulled me closer and kissed me on my lips, sticking his tongue into my mouth and filling it with water. Gravity faded, time had stopped and space had grown endless. I enjoyed it as long as I could but after a moment I had already become short of air and I twisted in his grip to get to the surface.

He let go of me and I frantically moved my arms and legs to get some air. I praised the gods when I felt the cool air on my face and inhaled deeply. I just had to make little moves to keep myself up there. Gojyo hadn’t showed up yet, and just when I wondered what he was doing I felt him embracing my hips and hanging on them. Again, I expected to be pulled down, but nothing happened. I didn’t have to do anything to keep myself up like that even though Gojyo was hanging on me. I looked down at the surface and tried to look through it, but I just saw hazy shadows of red and even some of skin colour, but nothing more than blurred shadows.

With one hand he was stroking my back and with the other he held himself in that position by holding my hips. I felt his tongue on my belly and stiffened. The water was pretty cold but his tongue seemed to leave a hot trail of fire on my skin. I would have loved to watch him but I still couldn’t see anything.

Now he stopped stroking my back and instead pressed his hand against my back. With the other he tried to get through the waistband of my pants. With a violent shove he was finally down there, gripping my cock. I don’t know whether I was hard; I hadn’t felt it at all until now. Gojyo squeezed and I drew back because of the stabbing pain in my stomach. He just rubbed his hand against my cock, but it felt so good that I started moaning and twisting in his grip.

It even got so intense that I started screaming and whining, and all of a sudden I submerged with a gurgling cry. I was under water and Gojyo pulled me further down, but this time I hadn’t any air left in my lungs. I panicked and wanted to swim to the surface, but my moves seemed of no use, Gojyo was eager to get me down to the bottom. The more I was frenzied with terror the harder and hotter I got, and Gojyo still had his hand on my cock. The water held me in a tight embrace, the pressure crushing me and causing a singing in my ears, my body aching from anguish and my senses dying out in that total silence.

This was a completely different situation now; I knew that I’d drown at any moment and this gave me such thrills and tingles that I had to concentrate hard on trying not to moan under water. He was successful in making me come, as always; with a final squeeze I jerked and came. I needed something to clench with my hands, but there was nothing but water, and it didn’t feel as good as usual without anything to dig my nails into. Summarily I pulled on his hand to bring him up to me, and when we were face to face I grabbed his back and scratched until the waves of pleasure got less intense.

Red was flowing around me; I didn’t know whether it was his hair or the blood I had drawn from his back. Anyway, everything got blurred and was about to fade away. Gojyo faded and I was in danger of being crushed by the water. My lungs felt like they would implode any second, and I got so weak that I would have sunk to the bottom if Gojyo hadn’t taken me with him. The singing in my ears was deafening and my head ached so much that everything was dipped into a white fog, and I didn’t even realize that we had reached the surface.

I felt the ground under me, but I still couldn’t breathe. My head was jerking forth and back slightly, I was trembling and I felt so cold that I thought I’d die just from the coldness alone. And suddenly the world turned around and gave me a kick in the ass. I shot up in the air, hysterically breathing and coughing and everything possible contracting in my body. My eyes went wide as I felt his hand on my mouth, and I looked at him to ask him what the hell he was doing.

He looked different. Even purer and more beautiful.

“Don’t breathe like that, you’ll get too much oxygen into your lungs and just hyperventilate. Try to breathe slowly and deeply.”
And I tried. My breathing was still too fast, but slowly I managed to slow down a bit. I was tired. And pissed off. And just…just damn it.
But it had been marvellous. I wouldn’t agree on doing that again, but it was one of the best things I had ever done - suffocating and coming at the same time. Some people say you come even harder if you catch your breath, and I had just gone a bit further and nearly suffocated. It was true, it was much more intense when you caught your breath, you could feel your body even more and you could concentrate on that instead of breathing. I was sure that Gojyo knew about that as well.

Actually I wasn’t pissed off anymore. And I was really sad that I wouldn’t be able to give him such a nice birthday present when his day came. He smiled a bright smile and waited for me to catch my breath. When it seemed nearly back to an acceptable rhythm he sat down and moved closer.

“I’ve got another present for you, Sanzo.”

I was really surprised; I didn’t need another present, the whole morning was present enough. He nearly smirked as he slowly put his hands down to get the end of his shirt into his fingers. I was really curious what would come next.

“I did it just for you, I hope you‘ll like it…”

With a quick move he pulled off his shirt and grinned at me. I looked down, and what I saw left me breathless again.
Little silver rings were shimmering on his chest; he had pierced his nipples for me…

Again I felt a stinging pain in my stomach. I drew back and shook my head slightly, and his smile faded immediately. He looked at me with a mix of sadness and worry.

“Don’t you…like them…Sanzo? I…I can take them out if you want me to, and you won’t see them ever again…I just thought you…maybe you would like the sight of them…”

After some attempts I finally managed a one-sided-smile.

“I fucking love them…and I’ll kill you if you ever dare to put them away…”

His smile got brighter again and I could see his relief. I reached out to feel them in my hand, but the moment I touched them he caught my hand. I looked up in surprise.

“I…it was done yesterday so… it still hurts a bit…so could you…be careful? Just a bit…it hurts like hell…”

“Well, honestly, I couldn’t imagine such a piercing on me, I…would be too frightened to let that be done to me…maybe in the face or the ears but really not my nipples…”

He grinned.

“I thought I’d die on that seat, and the world was spinning around when I got up. I was so sick that I had to lie down on the couch there because I think I’d have puked on Hakuryu while driving home.”

He chuckled and I tried not to laugh about that. That would be just so typically him. Carefully I took the ring into my hand.

“He said I should wear the other plugs for a while until it has healed, but it didn’t look very good, you know, those little plugs which look like pins. So I bought these rings, and I nearly pissed into my pants while changing them…”

I looked up again and couldn’t stop myself from laughing anymore, the picture of that idiot, sitting there and fumbling and groping his nipples and crying and laughing at the same time because it was so grotesque made me lose control.
He was back to normal, absolutely back to normal.

“I just changed them because I wanted it to be perfect for you when you’d see them for the first time…if you don’t like these rings I can try to…change them again.”

“And nearly wet your pants again? Hell, no…” I carried on laughing.

When I had calmed down I knew that I couldn’t get up. I had just gotten up, and didn’t have any strength left anymore before midday.
He sighed, and got up with a smile. I saw his hand, but I didn’t take the offer. I lazily let myself fall back into the sand.

“I can’t walk. I think I’ll have to die here.”

I smirked, and so did he. But he bent down and took me in his arms. And that felt so good. It always felt good to be carried by him, but today it just felt even better somehow. He carried me back to the house and knocked on the door to make Hakkai open it.
After entering, he let me down, and I leaned on his shoulder. Hakkai went back to the table and we followed him. He had already poured some hot coffee into our cups so that all we had to do was just sit down and enjoy breakfast.

Of course, Hakkai now noticed the piercing. He stared at the rings for a few seconds, and then looked up into Gojyo’s eyes with a shocked gaze.

“Gojyo…”

“Yes? You like them?”

I think Hakkai was rather the conservative type. Or maybe not. After thinking about what he had done to me…maybe not.
Now Gojyo started the show. He began to moan and twist and shift on his seat, and playfully circled his still swollen nipples.

“But I’m sorry, Hakkai-cutie…they are just for Sanzo-sama Houshi-thingy…or so…”

“Sanzo Houshi-sama.”

He looked at me.

“Uh…yeah, Houshi-sama. You understand, Hakkai?”

Hakkai just sighed, and looked into his teacup.

“Yes, I understand.”

He was jealous. Definitively jealous, and I enjoyed it.
Gojyo pulled me up and made me sit on his thighs.

“What shall we do now with the birthday kid, huh?”

He looked at Hakkai, who lifted his head and also looked at him.

“Shall we rape him?”

I felt my eyebrow twitch; I couldn’t do anything against that fucking reflex. It always just happened whenever something fazed and seriously frightening me. I looked away to ignore that uncomfortable feeling; he didn’t mean it like he had said it.

“Or shall we let him rape us? What do you prefer, Houshi-sama?”

“I’m gonna whip your ass until you can’t sit on it anymore if you don’t stop talking nonsense involving me!”

I pulled on his piercing and tore a cry from him. He grabbed my hand and carefully pulled it away from that painful spot.

“Please…”

“Come on, if a day has 12 hours, how often do you think about me, sucking you off or whipping you?”

He clutched at his piercing and stared into the black coffee. With an absent voice, but friendly and honest, he answered after some minutes of silence.

“13 hours.”

It was lovely to watch him staring at the coffee, imagining things you wouldn’t dream of. I put my hand on his and leaned back against his shoulder, carefully avoiding touching his other piercing. With the same voice he carried on talking.

“Gods, I love you so much…I wouldn’t know how to live without you anymore.”

I took a lock of his red sea into my hands and stared at it. How could I live without him? I’d get sick and die, maybe because of that or because of grief. I wouldn’t get my ass up from the bed, I’d lie there until I’d choke on my own spewed guts. I was nothing without him.

“Me either…”

He kissed my head and hummed. Now Hakkai stood up.

“Well, we have something else for you, haven’t we?”

Gojyo looked up, interrupted in caressing me in his thoughts.

“Yes.”

Hakkai went to the fridge, and I turned my head because Gojyo had decided to stick his tongue into my ear, and I hated it because he was always teasing me by doing that because it was so ticklish. So I turned around to get out of his reach, but he just grinned, took my hands into one of his, and with the other he forced me to look straight at the wall in front of us. I had to survive another attack of his tongue, and as much as I twisted and gasped he didn’t stop.

“Fuckin’ hurry up, Hakkai!!”

He was already coming anyway. He placed it on the table, and whatever it might be, Gojyo didn’t let me take a look at it. When he was content with seeing me nearly crying because of his torture he freed my hands and let me turn around.

An immense chocolate cake was there with five candles on it. On the top of the cake was written “Happy Birthday, we love the bitchy prick!”

“Hah, we?”

“Of course, Houshi-sama, Hakkai loves you, doesn’t he?”

My putative second lover flushed and smiled.

“But you won’t guess what we’re gonna do with this cake.”

Now I got suspicious. Hakkai took a knife and cleaved the cake. It was about 40 centimetres high, and had a diameter of about the same number. A really big cake. He put one half of the cake on another plate and put it into the fridge. I looked at Gojyo to tell what they were up to, but the bastard was so smart and clever that he didn’t give me the faintest hint of their intention. He smirked and I didn’t even notice his hand approaching the cake.

Suddenly both took a handful of it and smeared it on my face. I was so stunned that I just lifted my arms but didn’t get up. Another handful of chocolate cake hit me on my belly, and now I regretted having taken off my clothes. But it had been necessary because otherwise I would have fallen seriously ill again. So I was just wearing black boxer shorts, property of Sha Gojyo. First, when he had given me the shorts, I had had to concentrate on not thinking about which experiences these boxers must already have passed through.

I jerked and gasped when I felt cold dough on my cock. With hands full of chocolate he rubbed the cake all over my dick and balls. While I was trying desperately to get the chocolate out of my eyes another load hit my face, and I had to start wiping it off again. After some time my hands were also full of the stuff so that I couldn’t rub my eyes anymore. I was full of chocolate cake; from my legs up to my hair I was covered in it, and now Gojyo even spread my ass and gave my buttocks a saccharine massage. While rubbing my back he purred.

“Oh Houshi-sama, you sexy chocolate drop…”

If this hadn’t been the most arousing thing on earth I would have run away from them. He made me stand up to better reach my legs so he could cover them as well.

“And what a nice chocolate bar you have there…”

I still felt four hands moving on my body, so Hakkai was still enjoying the party. I should have known that. And they didn’t stop until they had used all of the cake to make me dirty. When they had finished, Gojyo licked over my eyes to clean them of the chocolate, and then took a step back to take a look at me.

I looked down at myself. Everything, just EVERYTHING was covered in that brown sweet stuff. And he had even put it on my bell end. I was hard and aroused by the stabbing pain in my stomach, and I had difficulty standing. Now Gojyo turned to face Hakkai.

“Thank you for helping me, you’ll excuse us, won’t you?”

Hakkai smiled like a goddamn Cheshire cat.

“Never mind, of course I will.”

Gojyo took my hand and dragged me to our room and locked it. Hakkai wouldn’t bother us, never on earth, but it seemed to me that he didn’t want me to escape from that room.

When Gojyo turned around, a big smirk was plastered on his face and he seemed like a lurking panther. Normally I played the lurking cat, but this time it simply hadn’t turned out to be like that. He put a hand on my chest and lazily moved it around. With the other he reached down and rubbed my cock. The many little pieces of nuts scratched my skin and made it even more delightful.

“Never heard of not playing with your food, Gojyo…?”

He bit my chocolate ear.

“I’m sorry, never…”

He pushed me back and worked on the fly of his pants. I had to wait until he had freed his cock, which was also hard, and then with greedy eyes he came back to continue teasing me. He rubbed his whole body against mine, and the chocolate made it easy for him to slide against it.

“You’re so dirty Sanzo-sama…stop that…” he grinned.

“I didn’t do anything, you shitty kappa.”

“Shall I clean you? You can’t go to bed like that…”

He made me step back and pressed me against the door.

“Now we’ve got a chocolate image of you on the door…”

He got hold of my chin and pressed my head against the wood. I was about to lose control again, any control… Gojyo didn’t let me take a step forward. I received a very wicked smile, and I was perplexed when he pulled on my chin and then hit the door hard with my head. A dull pain emerged, and I let my head lie wherever it had come to lie. I loved the non-con thing as much as he did. In the meantime, Gojyo had knelt down and taken my cock into his hands.

“It looks so delicate, I’d like to take a bite out of it… Houshi-sama, are you ready?”

My hand clutched at the wall next to me, my body tensed up and I opened my mouth to scream in silence with clattering teeth.
He pulled back the prepuce and bit into the tip of my cock after squeezing it. I felt it twitching, and I had to fight for air. While he tormented my dick like that, he put a finger into my asshole, and the chocolate was just perfect as a lube.

“I never had a blowjob with a chocolate bar,” he panted.

“How does it taste?”

I could barely speak, the penetration of my ass and the pain coming from my cock made me breathless. A second finger was shoved into my ass; he wasn’t even moving them inside, just the feeling of being filled made me hard. Now, when he began to furiously stroke my sweet spot, I fell on my knees, twitching and jerking and moaning.

“Do you want to get plowed?”

I groaned and tried to form my mouth to let him know that I wanted nothing more than that.

“Ye..ahh…”

He violently turned me around, took out the fingers and replaced them with his cock. With one quick move he had buried it to the hilt in my ass. I moaned again and felt his chocolate fingers inside my mouth, teasingly rubbing against my tongue and making it difficult to breathe.

“Ready?”

He took his hand out for a moment to let me answer him.

“Fuck me hard.”

“I won’t disappoint you, Houshi-sama.”

He violently moved back and shoved his cock into my ass so that my hard-on hit the wall and was pressed against my belly.

I was trembling and feeling hot, and little sounds of pleasure escaped me every time I felt his skin on mine. The next shove sent my balls against the wall, and my belly slapped against it so that it almost hurt too much. He laid his hands round my hips, drew back and slowly pushed in again. A long moan left my mouth, and when he was rubbing his hips against my ass in circles he had to embrace me tighter to keep me up in the air, otherwise I would have fallen on the floor.

Then he started a new series of brutal thrusts, and didn’t stop until I came. I was nearly lying on him; my head was lying on his shoulder, and my ass was being stabbed with his hard dick. I looked down while crying out and saw the white liquid mingling with the dark chocolate, lazily dripping on the floor. Even Gojyo stretched his neck to get my twitching cock into view, and what he saw also made him come. He must have come so hard that he doubled over, and together we hit the floor while still coming. First I collided with it, and then I gasped when Gojyo fell on me. He had drawn the breath from me, and I couldn’t moan anymore, I could only make little sounds of pleasure.

His hot semen was filling my ass, and when I clenched it he moaned even louder. When he had finally spilt his last drop, he gave up his tension and fell a second time on me. I tried to breath but it was nearly impossible with Gojyo heavily lying on top of me.

“Ah…it tasted really good.”

He was licking my shoulder and then he got up to lick at the rest of my back. I was happy to get some air and enjoyed the feeling of him cleaning me. It took him quite a while until my back was at least pretty free from chocolate, and now he hauled me up and steered me to the bed where he pushed me down. He started licking at my legs, slowly and thoroughly. Then he spread them and continued with my thighs. His licking at my inner thighs made me sit up and grab his hair and pull him up.

With his tongue hanging from his mouth he looked at me, nastily and lusty.

“I know you’re ticklish there…but you’re full of chocolate and I can’t help but lick it clean, Houshi-sama…”

He pushed my hand away and licked at those problematic spots again. I had to clench the sheets so as not to moan or jerk away, and I was glad when he finished. But there wasn’t much time to be glad because now he was cleaning my cock and balls, and it was even harder not to moan because of that image. When he had arrived at the spot between my balls and asshole, I rocked forward, and I couldn’t help it in the slightest.

I was hypersensitive there, and he hadn’t known about this. It would take just a second for him to look at me with such a smirk that I would want to kick his face until he would lie on the floor, bleeding and holding his nose.

His head turned up and he warily eyed me. I tried to look at him with an innocent face, but of course he didn’t buy that. Another lick with his tongue and I shifted and groaned. Now his head turned up with that fucking smirk. He placed his chin on my balls and watched me just to provoke me.

“Seems like we’ve discovered another weakness, huh?”

I frowned and gave him an angry ‘Ch’. He showed me his teeth while smirking his ass off and that made me so upset that I pressed my thighs together and captured his face between them. I had surprised him with that and he gasped.

“Whoa…your…ngh…”

I pressed tighter, and with all my power and force tried to crush his skull, and even if it was just in my imagination it gave me some satisfaction.

“Your…ah…you know you could…crack nuts with that…”

I patted his head.

“I need tight thighs when I want to fuck you properly, don’t I?”

I let go of him and he fell back on the floor. After a few seconds he recovered and sat up again. It was funny, because I saw just his forehead and eyes, the rest was blocked by my cock. He didn’t move.

“What are you doing there?!”

He looked up.

“Enjoying the view.”

I lightly kicked his head.

“Get on with cleaning me; I don’t have time to watch you watching me!”

So he got back into his former posture and now licked over my belly. It was such a nice feeling and it made me absolutely happy.
Chocolate just makes everyone happy. When he arrived at my nipples he bit into them, and I jerked in surprise. I had been dreaming about him and his tongue and suddenly I felt that uncomfortable pain…But he quickly kept licking the rest of my chest, just like that had been his revenge.

As he was licking my throat, my cock was getting hard again. I tried not to swallow, but he was so skilled that he made me do that several times. I had been looking forward to feeling him cleaning my face, and now I had what I had been longing for. With half closed eyes and a concentrated gaze he let his tongue slide over my cheeks, and then stuck it into my mouth. When he cleaned my nostrils I breathed through my mouth, and he must have felt my breath because he was smiling.

While he was licking my eyebrows, my hands were stroking his back and belly and everything they could reach. When I felt that he had finished, I pushed him down by pressing against his back and he softly fell on me. We stared at each other for a few moments.

“I’m done, honey.”

I was still sticky from the chocolate; of course he couldn’t clean me entirely of all that brown stuff, so I’d have to take a shower later.

“Thank you.”

“Is there anything you’d like to do? Or that you want me to do for you?”

That was a special opportunity, but he would have done everything I told to do him anyway even when I wasn’t celebrating my birthday.

I smiled.

“Let’s drive to the city and go shopping…”

He also smiled.

“’Kay. I hope he’ll lend us his car.”

“He will.”

I looked at him with tired eyes, I couldn’t hide how spent I was. He looked worried now.

“Are you alright? You aren’t entirely healthy yet, are you?”

“I’m still tired, and my head aches, but I’m okay. Come on, let’s ask him about the jeep.”

“I’ll ask him, you can stay here.”

“Fine, I’ll make myself up in the meantime.”

He grinned and left the room. He hadn’t taken me seriously…I’d show him how nicely I’d do just what I had said. I got up and went to the dresser to fetch my things. I sat down in front of the mirror and searched for the black eyeliner. It didn’t take me long to find what I wanted, and I was content with what I had done. After a few minutes Gojyo entered the room, and I saw him in the mirror before he could see me. I did it on purpose so that I could take him by surprise.

Gojyo wore a black shirt, made of fishnet so that you could perfectly see through it. Besides this he also wore the black choker with the ring. His pants were black and so tight that my cock ached just from looking at him.

“Are you ready, Houshi-sama?”

“Of course.”

I stood up and turned around and I couldn’t hide the smirk. The moment he saw me his smile faded and he stared at me in obvious fascination.

“You didn’t think that I’d really do it, did you, kappa?”

He smiled and shook his head, mesmerized.
“Hah well, no…”

I knew he’d like it. I had framed my eyes with thick, heavy black lines, pointed at the ends, and I had put some white powder on my eyelids. I also wore black pants, but they were the ones that I used to wear on my mission; I really liked them because they were comfortable and simply worn out. I wore a black ruched shirt, decent but still teasing, and it was so tight that you’d have seen my nipples if I had fastened it up.

“You look great, honey.”

I smiled and walked towards him, wiggling my ass, but I quickly gave that up because it hurt too much. Gojyo had been a relentless bitch. I caught his chin and violently pulled his face down to look into his eyes.

“You hurt me,” I hissed.

“Sorry…”

I let go of him and passed him. He followed me into the kitchen where he picked up the key for the jeep. Hakkai had just come into the kitchen to get himself some tea or whatever, but when he noticed us he stopped and stared at us.

“We’ll be back at…”

Gojyo looked at me.

“Ahm, back, I don’t know when. You don’t mind us leaving you alone, do you…”

“N-no.”

It was funny to see him like that, but we had to go now. I stroked his cheek and sent him a kiss through the air, then turned around and joined Gojyo in the car.

While driving to the city neither of us said a word; Gojyo was driving because I was much too lazy to do that on my birthday. It took us a couple of hours to get there.

“Where shall I park the jeep? Is there any special shop you’d like to shock?”

“Yes, just park it next to the first house.”

He did as I had told him, and when we got out of the jeep the people were already staring at us; a gay couple, one of them a sadist and the other a masochist, wearing teasing black clothes and swaggering about so perkily, just as if they owned the town. I really despised them all. To provoke them even more, I took his hand and dragged him into the store I had planned to visit. He was a bit surprised when he saw the things they were selling: also in black, there was some leather, some latex and some plastic. Well, and some cotton.

As I greeted the shopkeeper I noticed his smirk. It was good to have at least one friend in this fucking city - besides Gojyo, my lover.
I looked around to search for the thing I had wanted so urgently, and when I found it I held it up in the air.

“I’ll take this,” I shouted towards the keeper who just nodded.

I turned around to face Gojyo, and as the chain clicked, he looked down and then up again.

“Now you can’t run away anymore,” I told him and grinned.

I continued my walk through the racks, and from time to time I took some things, while always pulling him along with me. Sometimes he would be looking at different things than I was, and when I had finished my inspection and he hadn’t, I nearly choked him every time I pulled on the chain to make him move. After I think about half an hour, I had finished my little walk and sent Gojyo into the dressing room.

“Put these things on, and I don’t want to see anything lying on the floor afterwards except for your clothes.”

He looked confused, but did what I had told him. In the meantime I went to the shop assistant to have a little chat with him, or maybe just stand there in silence. The very moment I leaned on the shop counter he began to talk in a respectful and interested voice.

“I’m happy that you found my little shop here…”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Sooo…I’ve never seen you in town; you don’t live here, do you?”

“Hell no, we live out in the woods. I’d kill myself if I had to live in this fucking town…”

He sighed.

“You’re right.”

Some silence, then.

“May I ask you a question?”

“Yes?”

“You…are gay, aren’t you?”

“I’d say no.”

“But it’s obvious that you two are…a couple…”

“Yes, we are,” I turned around to look into his eyes, and make him cast his down. I was used to that reaction from people when I looked into their eyes, “but I’m not gay and neither is he. We just love each other.”

“That’s interesting. I’ve never heard anything like that.”

“Now you have.”

He really couldn’t stand it anymore so he looked down at my navel.

“I don’t love him because his name is ‘Gojyo’ and not ‘Alice’, I fucking love his character and his temper, and secondly his body.”

I was annoyed and turned around again. But he realized that he had pissed me off and apologized for that.

“It’s just that I have never seen anyone like you two…you are…outstanding…”

I heard Gojyo moaning in the dressing room and had to smile. The shopkeeper was a bit worried, though.

“May I ask you what you told him to put on?”

I turned around and smirked.

“Just one of your butt plugs.”

Another desperate moan, some silence and then a rumbling sound.

He didn’t dare ask me another question so we waited there in silence for Gojyo to appear. After a few more minutes the curtain moved to the side, and with a disturbed expression he came out of the little room. It looked even better on him in real than in my imagination. He stopped a few meters in front of me and looked at me as if he wanted to ask whether I was sure about my choice.

“Did I…do it right? Everything in the right place…?”

“Well, I think so,” I told him in a low voice, ”Turn around.”

He slowly moved, and it was really perfect. I heard the keeper in the background.

“We’ve got…a bigger mirror over there…if you want to…”

I took the chain and dragged him to the mirror, and when he saw himself from head to toe he had to gulp. A suspiciously glaring Gojyo stared at himself, looking at the black and white cat ears, eyeing the corsage and looking further down at the leather pants. He turned around to take a look at his ass, which wasn’t covered by the pants. For a moment, the tail caught his eyes, but he quickly turned around again and kept staring at the new ‘clothes’.

I knew that he wasn’t really enjoying them so I came closer and whispered into his ear.

“I won’t force you to wear them. If you really hate them so much you can take them off.”

He shot me a glance and looked down at the floor.

“I just thought…you’d be my pet one day,” and he smiled, ”but I’m happy as it is. I like them very much, I don’t want to take them off.”

“Good.”

I pulled at the chain and he gasped. I went back to the counter with him to pay for the things. Just when I was searching for the famous gold card - the gods had let me keep it, for my efforts, they said - I saw him putting a hand on the counter and moving closer. I looked up and found his eyes just centimetres away from mine.

“Don’t think that you can treat me bad just because I’m a cat. I have never been reluctant, but this evening I will scratch you if you try to abuse me…”

“Fine by me. The more you defend yourself the more you’ll be punished. Just fine by me, I’ll enjoy it.”

“You know that’s cruelty to animals…”

“Then be my pussycat.”

“I will try.”

He softly licked over my lips. Finally I had found that damn card and slammed it on the counter to wake the keeper up from his wet dreams. It only took him seconds to debit the sum. Then he grinned at us and gave me back my card.

“I’d be happy to see you again some time, Mister Sanzo.”

“We won’t disappoint you.”

I took the chain and pulled him out of the shop, heading for the jeep to drop his pants there. It was so damn funny how the people were reacting to this new sensation; some stared at us in disgust, some were ignoring us on purpose, and some even stopped walking and smiled at us in fascination. What did I care about them…?

Hand in hand we went to a clothes shop. They were mostly selling things for women, and that was just what I was looking for. I went through the rows and took this and that, some things that would look absolutely ridiculous and grotesque on me and some that I really thought he’d like. Gojyo had to try hard not to burst out in laughter when the woman watching the dressing rooms eyed me suspiciously, but gave me a number.

I disappeared into the little room, and Gojyo sat down in front of it to wait there for me.

“You’ll show me when you’ve put them on, right?”

“Of course.”

First I tried the black dress with the frills and beads, and in addition to that I put a hat on my head. The doors of the dressing room slammed open and I presented myself. He was laughing his ass off and tears ran down his cheeks when he took a second look at me.

“Sanzo, that beats everything.“

I went back to take off that shit and now tried on a skirt. I thought that it would look the same, ridiculous and funny, but I was surprised when his eyes went wide. He stood up and skimmed over the skirt.

“This really suits you, Sanzo… skirts make you look even better. Especially those short ones…where you just have to…” he put a hand under the skirt to give my cock a squeeze, ”reach down and help yourself.”

I couldn’t suppress a gasp, and the woman responsible for this area took a step forward to get us into sight to see what had caused my arousal. I hurried to disappear into the dressing room again because I would have laughed at her for hours if I had to look at her face any longer.

The next thing I wanted to put on was a short jacket with fake fur on it, and I really liked that piece. If I didn’t look like the last idiot on earth then I’d certainly buy this one. I put it over the chemise and stepped out of the room to show Gojyo the piece. He smiled at that.

“I’d really buy that if I were you, honey…”

He stood up again and put the jacket to the side to stroke my nipples.

“Makes you look hot…”

I didn’t miss his lecherous eyes, so I pushed him against the wall and kissed him thoroughly.

When he was about to put his hand down my pants, I heard the noise of stilettos, so I took a look at the right side and was surprised when I saw a furious woman running towards us like a bull and waving a clothes-hook.

“You sick perverts, what do you think you’re doing there?!!”

I quickly drew back from Gojyo, took the chain and hurried to pass her. Gojyo took some hits from the hook, and once even I felt it hit my head, but we finally managed to get out of the dressing room without any serious wounds. But I really wanted to have this jacket; I had to make it to the cash desk, but considering the situation it was impossible now to calmly stand there and pay for the jacket. I was really angry.

“But I fucking want to buy this jacket, you ugly old hag!”

When she came running through the shop still brandishing the clothes-hook, I turned around, and with Gojyo on my heels I left the shop with the jacket still on, without paying for it. Gojyo had been laughing all the time, and now that we were safe from that fury I also had to laugh.

When I had caught my breath again I took off the jacket and decided to carry it. So with one hand I held the chain and with the other I carried the coat. I wanted to take a walk through the city just to free my mind from some things. The streets were dirt roads, and the houses looked like they were out of a western; I really liked towns like that.

Every step blew up dust and I just felt free. Free from everything.

Gojyo was walking next to me, from time to time looking at the houses and then looking at me. I turned my head to look at him while he was staring at my face and he smiled. He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly his eyes went wide in shock, and he gasped and doubled over. Someone had just kneed him in his stomach.

I couldn’t believe it; I was standing there, totally perplexed, but turning my head to see who had dared to do that. A young man with short black hair was walking down the street, now he turned around and shot me a disgusted and hateful glance before he carried on down the road.

I was trembling with rage and I started running, and when I had reached him I violently gripped his neck and turned him around to shove my Smith & Wesson into his mouth. He was surprised and stunned, so that he didn’t defend himself at first. When he tried to touch my hand to move it away I just pushed the gun forward until it hit the back of his mouth. I moved closer to him until our noses were nearly touching, and with the most threatening and enraged voice I could manage, I hissed at him.

“Why did you do that?”

His eyes narrowed and he glared at me, unable to speak because of the gun in his mouth. I pulled it out and held it against his temple. He coughed and looked up again to look daggers at me.

“Because you are so disgusting and sick, you goddamn cocksucker!”

Desperation and rage were mixing in my head, and I almost started crying because I was so upset. I shook my head and showed him my teeth.

“You fucking dickwad, you really don’t deserve this world!”

Sardonically, he smirked so that his mouth nearly formed a semicircle and he hissed with a triumphant voice.

“Neither do you.”

I felt my eyebrow twitching again, and I was so out of my mind that I reached out and hit his head hard with the gun. He fainted immediately and fell on the ground. It took me some moments to brace myself and get up from the dirt but Gojyo, still lying on the earth, quickly made me move. I ran back to him and knelt down to help him.

“Are you hurt, is it bad?”

I sounded more desperate and worried than I actually thought I would be. I had tried to hide it in my voice, but he couldn’t have missed that. He was already looking up at me, smiling and blinking.

“It’s not that bad, everything’s alright, honey.”

I looked away to hide that fucking twitching muscle from him and helped him up. He held his belly and looked around.

“I guess this was the unlucky bastard, was it him?”

“Yes.”

I took the chain and picked up the jacket, which had fallen down into the dirt. Slowly I started walking again, staring at my feet and trying not to listen to the whispering of the townsfolk. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around.

“Is something wrong?”

Gojyo had asked me that with a worried look on his face. He knew that something was wrong, because he knew everything about my feelings; I couldn’t hide them from him. I wasn’t successful in looking up so I stared at his chest and the corsage. It must have been hard for him to walk around like that, walking with an idiot with black eyes and a ruched shirt, forced to wear a tail and be led on a chain. Maybe they were right; I was just a sick pervert.

I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, and I saw them hit the ground and make little circles of wet dirt there. I didn’t want him to be involved in this; the people should have come right now and dragged me away from him, they should have made me hit the floor and kick me and hit me until I was bleeding and too weak to get up. They should have shown me reality.

It was okay for me to run about like an idiot and to be dolled up to the nines, but it wasn’t okay to make him do the same just because he was willing to do it. As I thought like that the old fears and worries took control of me and made me so desperate that I closed my eyes. I just used him for my pleasure, I abused him and he let it happen to him. I didn’t deserve him. And the murmur got so loud that my head was on the verge of bursting.

I felt a hand on my head and shortly after that I was pushed against warm skin. His hands were stroking my back and holding my head, and his voice was gentle and soft. He was trying to calm and console me, but I didn’t want to let myself be consoled. That was just a lie. Nothing was alright. Nothing would be alright when I looked up again. It had always been wrong and it was a goddamn lie that everything would be fine.

It was my fault that that man had kicked him in his stomach, I was guilty of his pain and anyway… He softly took my face into his hands and forced me to look up at him. And I saw that damn look I hated so much to see on him - pitying eyes, a warm smile and a concerned look hit me. I didn’t want it to be like that anymore.

The black lines under my eyes had disappeared; the black colour had mixed with my tears and had formed thin, dark lines down my cheeks, I must have looked so ugly to him right now… It was useless to try to console me now, I wouldn’t listen, I’d refuse to hear his words, I wanted to be carried away by pain, at last fainting and not being forced to bear his presence anymore.

He grabbed my shoulder and gently pushed me towards a café with a veranda.

“Come on, Sanzo, let’s sit down there.”

I fell on a wooden chair; the sun was making me blind and the wind was making my hair cover my eyes. As he moaned while sitting down, maybe because of the plug, I just felt worse. It must have been so uncomfortable for him, and he had never complained about it. Why on earth couldn’t I just love a woman or at least a man? Just love him without any leather and chains…

That assistant had been right; I loved a man. A man loving a man was wrong and disgusting, and a man whipping another man because he loved him was just the worst. I shouldn’t have loved anybody in this world because they were all damned to suffer because of my love. I felt a deep desperation rise in me because I knew that I’d never come to love someone without thinking about chains and whips…and it was so wrong to do that…I just wished I was as normal as the other people, walking on that dirty road to hell.

Some time ago I had wished and I had craved that I could be different from the others, I had wished to be someone better, and now I wished to be like the others… Once you have discovered that inclination, you can’t refuse it anymore, you don’t become normal just because you wished to be normal…it stays like that forever.

I hated sitting there, where everybody could just stare at me and see me crying. I wished I was back in my room; I wished I had my key to turn in the lock and I wished I had my bed to lie down on and silently cry on it. Instead of that I was sitting on display, playing the amusing idiot at whom people could look at and be glad that they weren’t like him.

And just to make it worse the waiter came to ask us what he should bring us. I had put my elbow on the table and was leaning on my hand with my forehead, crying and jerking. And Gojyo was sitting next to me, lifting his head, showing him his cat ears and his corsage, and the server kept staring at both of us, unsure about what to do, whether to run or to keep standing there and silently mock us.

But Gojyo smiled a bright smile and the waiter even shyly smiled back.

“Please, bring us some coffee, a cappuccino and an espresso.”

The waiter disappeared, and it was silent then except for the still screaming and shouting people out in the streets. I wanted to run away, just to run away, the ‘where’ wasn’t important. If I had stood up now and had tried to run, Gojyo surely would have made me fall down on the floor by catching my arm, and then would have tripped up on me as well. He was such an idiot. He could have had any fucking woman in this world, or any man he desired, but he had to stay with me. So stubborn and silly. I wanted him to leave me.

He was sitting next to me, looking at the sky, ignoring me, smiling and dreaming. But his smile was fading; it had been left from the waiter, whom he had given a nice smile just to affirm that everything was alright. The clouds turned into high towers, threatening to fall on me and crush me under them. The sky turned into a heavy black mass, cumbersomely rolling through the air, and I saw the wind changing and getting stronger until it had the power of a hurricane, and tore at the towers to make them break.

Nothing was alright. He didn’t dare touch me in that state of mind, he was afraid of making it worse. But I was craving either for his hand or for a brutal death, repaying the infamous action I had committed. The fact that I was still sick, and that mental pain tore at my consciousness and my sanity, made it so that I had to lean back so as not to fall on the table.

The waiter came again, carrying two cups, one filled with a sweet, milky coffee and the other filled with a dark, bitter brew. He carefully put them on the table with two glasses of water and kept standing there, looking at me, and then at him, several times over. Gojyo didn’t manage to smile at him anymore; he was looking up at him in misery. Somehow my mood was contagious, and even the waiter now bent down and looked at me.

Gojyo turned his head and held the man’s shoulder.

“Please…tell him that everything’s alright…I can’t do that anymore.”

The waiter swallowed, and you could see that he was really disturbed after having heard him and seen us. Gojyo’s eyes were blank, showing his bleeding soul; they were the eyes of a dead cat, fading to grey. Nothing in this goddamn town moved, everything seemed to die.
I put my hand in front of my eyes to see darkness; I had seen enough of this world.

The waiter was shaking his head.

“But what…happened to him? What made him so…”

Gojyo lowered his head, trying to find some distraction in the milky thing in front of him.

“Me.”

“It couldn’t have been you, no way. I can see that you love him so much that you’d make an ass of yourself and follow him into death, so you aren’t capable of hurting him like that.”

“I am.”

Between my fingers and tears I saw the blurred shadow of the man, holding Gojyo’s face and consoling him. With a shaky voice Gojyo started to tell him the story. Every now and then he stopped to hold back something, sometimes anger and sometimes sadness.

“I see.”

And he looked at me again.

“But I don’t see any problem with that…you love him so much and he loves you so much, where’s the problem? Are you really so stupid that you’d let your love be destroyed by a brainless, intolerant idiot, or what?”

Gojyo shook his head and pointed at the ears.

“It’s that. And this.”

He pulled at the chain, which was clattering on the floor.

“Some sort of nervous breakdown, I bet it‘s that legendary Top Drop thing…“ he mumbled.

“And why are you still sitting there, staring at him dumbfounded? If you love him that much, you should be sitting near him, holding his hand and consoling him!”

Gojyo was perplexed upon hearing those hard words. But he quickly recovered from his shock.

“I can’t. Not any longer.”

He was silent, and the waiter just kept staring at him.

“The moment I sat down next to him I’d start crying, and just be unable to do anything else, I wouldn’t be able to help him in the slightest. Every time he’s so depressed I start getting depressed as well, and every time he’s smiling and laughing it just feels like I’m flying… I’d just cry with him now, and that would hurt him even more.”

I had to cough and suppress the urge to gag. With all my strength remaining, I stood up and made a step towards Gojyo. I knelt down in front of him and avoided looking into his eyes. With shaky hands I worked on the chain, trying to open the spring clip to free him from that thing. He had gone stiff, and didn’t do anything; he was just watching me.

“You’re…free, I beg you to go…wherever you may want to go.”

When I finally managed to open it, I was about to take it away when his hand touched my cold fingers. He laid his hand on mine, preventing me from moving the chain away. I looked up into red suns.

“But I don’t want to be…free…”

His eyes swallowed me, and I felt a tear hitting my hand, running down on it and dripping on his thighs, where it split into many little pearls with a soft sound. And cats always looked so sad. No matter whether they were happy or glad or sad or pouting, they always wore that hopeless look. Like they wanted to leave that poor body behind, as if they were imprisoned angels, silently staring at you with big, clear eyes, begging you to pet their heads or their flanks, begging you to care for them.

Once caught, they didn’t want to be free again because they knew how well they were treated in the presence of a human being. They could get bitchy as hell, but they were so permissive, resting on your thighs and silently consoling you when you were sad, they listened to you when you wanted to talk to someone and they simply looked at you when you wanted to have some attention just for god’s sake. They were so stupid but also so intelligent; they just pretended to be stupid.

You never got annoyed because a cat was snuggling up to your leg, you didn’t get pissed off because a cat was staring at you, and maybe asking itself what the hell you were doing. You didn’t need to say a word to feel understood, and you didn’t need to tell a cat how much you loved it because it just knew. They were so intelligent.

The whispering and pandemonium turned into laughter, threatening to make me lose my senses.

“I don’t want to be free.”

My hand absently fell down, his hand still holding the chain and putting it back into place without hesitation. And they were so fucking frugal. Just one touch and they purred like the world would end.

I stared at him, out of my mind and trying to choose one feeling from the load which had overwhelmed me. He took the chain with a weak smile, and holding it in front of my chest, he offered for me to take it again and re-establish the slavery. I lowered my head, paralyzed and not able to think much less say a word.

I was shocked when I felt the heat on my cheek. The townspeople were still busily walking around like they had some minutes ago and the wind was just whispering like it had before. I was surprised that I was able to bring a hand up to my stinging cheek and turn my head to look back at them. Gojyo hadn’t moved, he was still waiting for me to take the end of the chain but the waiter was glaring at me like he wanted to kill me.

“Wh…hah?”

I couldn’t concentrate because so many things were straining my brain and I was too much of a booby than to pick one and think on it. So many feelings running in my head…

“Don’t be such an idiot, he’s offering himself to you, don’t you see that?! Fucking take him as he is!” he shouted at me and I was pretty intimidated by his screaming so I lowered my head again and made a fist. Sand and earth were rubbing against my palm and I squeezed tighter. Someone must have broken a glass there because I also felt a sharp splinter digging into my skin.

And pain always helped. As always.

I squeezed even tighter until I felt the skin bursting and warm blood seeping from it. Tighter and my teeth started clattering.
The pain blocked out all other feelings, I was free again…free from everything. Panting quietly I let the pain penetrate my brain and make me feel my body again.

I raised my trembling hand, let the sand trickle from it and grabbed the chain. It hurt but I pulled him closer, avoiding eye contact, and bit his lip as hard as I had squeezed the splinter. He was prepared for that, he knew me so well… I tasted blood and sucked on the wounded spot to taste more of it, more of life and more of Gojyo. The deeper I had fallen into depression, the rougher I was acting after that, it was always the same, never stopped being like that.

This time I was satisfied with tasting his blood and I drew back to stare into his eyes to cover the uncertainty and sadness with anger and lust. Drops of blood were hitting his thighs now and he licked at his sore lip.

“I never said that I wanted to be free.”

“I was…presuming that you’d better like to be free and…be able to choose your own direction instead of…trotting along behind me…”

“I wouldn’t know where to go to. I wouldn’t know where to head for if you told me to choose where to go. I’d tarry with you because I wouldn’t know any other place more perfect and peaceful than at your side.”

He knew how to cheer me up. Mostly he was such a fool but when it came to giving advice he was much wiser and more experienced than I was. For one more second I enjoyed his welcoming smile and his friendly eyes and then reached for the waiter’s legs to pull on them. He fell on the floor with a loud noise and I quickly knelt down on his chest and seized his throat.

No one got away that easily with hurting my pride like that.

“Only he has the right to do that, do you understand?”, I hissed,” I don’t allow just anyone to smack me like that and then just feel satisfied because of thinking that he had done something good for Genjyo Sanzo Sama Houshi.”

“I thought it was Houshi Sama..?”

“…screw the Houshi…”

“Mh, I’d really love to do that…”

The waiter was staring at me, left speechless from the intimidation now I had caused. I was so merciful as to let him go and he took advantage of the opportunity and escaped and hurried into the café.

Talking about coffee, it had gotten cold by now. Cold espresso. Well, not the worst on earth. But his cappuccino…

“Hey, bring us some HOT coffee, please!”

“Yes, Sir!”

I sighed and was about to get up when I felt his hand on my shoulder. He smiled at me and helped me up. I was glad when I could fall into my chair again and look at something different than blood and dirt. Gojyo lay down on the table, looking at me like a dog and catching my hand and stroking it with his thumb.

“Everything’s alright, I told you.”

Yes.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“I will tell you if you ever should do something which should really bother me, don‘t worry about that.”

I was gnawing my lip.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing of what you are doing is wrong, honey. You’re just as normal as the others, you really shouldn’t worry about such shit. Your time is much too precious than to waste it on that crap.”

“But…it’s not common that a man and…another man enjoy…hurting each other, that’s wrong…that’s…”

“Who says that this is wrong? If everybody in this fucking world would have sex in this way it would be normal. That’s a matter of subjectivity, honey.”

I have never seen it like that, he was so good at explaining things. It was simple, now that I had understood what he was talking about…they just thought like that because they couldn’t understand it, because they were an intolerant, egotistical bunch of wild animals. I was different. I was egotistical and bitchy but I was open-minded. At least pretty open-minded but quite tolerant and permissive, concerning Gojyo and his habits and affectations.

“We are just special, Sanzo.”

I smiled at him, he was right, he was absolutely right. Now the server came again to bring us our coffee.

“I’m sorry that I interfered but…I just couldn’t watch you any longer. I’m sorry that I hurt you, Mister Sanzo Sama Houshi.”

I licked my lips. And I hated it how he was talking about me.

“Never mind.”, Gojyo answered instead of me.

I could have choked him for that. When the waiter had disappeared Gojyo changed seats and joined me at the other side of the table. He laid an arm around my shoulders and I laid my head on his shoulder. Together we were watching the people, running around in the streets like idiots.

“And even if we weren’t special…I’d still own you.”

I closed my eyes and let him feed me with coffee.

“Mhmh…”

Now I felt the urge to shoot the server. But I felt much too comfortable there, lying on Gojyo, than to stand up and go to search that chode. My espresso was much less than his cappuccino so I was faster in emptying the cup and he still had half of the beverage.

“Excuse me for a moment…or two, I have to get something done.”

I left him with no option but to sit there and I was up much too quickly than to be caught by him. He grabbed air and with some steps I was out of his reach.

“Sanzo!”

I hurried to get out of his sight and the streets were so frequented that it didn’t take me long to lose sight of him. When I thought that he also wouldn’t see me any more I headed for the jeweller of the town. I knew where he was situated because Hakkai had given me an exact plan of the city and its shops.

I entered the little room and I hadn’t even closed the door when the man behind the counter already asked me what he could do for me. I went to him, put my hands on the cabinet and looked at him with demanding eyes.

“I want a ring. It should be custom made, it’s going to be a gift for someone. It should be about the size of 2.1 centimetres and should be made of black titanium and with that pattern.”

I took out a little piece of paper from my pocket and showed him the image I had drawn by myself. Fine lines, winding around the ring like waves, shimmering in a light violet. He took a look at it and eyed me then.

“You know that this is going to be quite expensive, those lines are hard to engrave because they are so thin, and the violet…what should it be made of?”

“Amethyst.”

He sighed.

“I can just try to do that. I have never had such an order but”, he smiled, ”I can try.”

“How long will it take you to do that?”

He had to think for a moment about that.

“I’d say…about a day…approximately 8 hours…”

I was disappointed. I really needed it for today, I wanted it for today, I didn’t have the time to drive to the city again and all alone out there in the woods…I was a bit scared of driving alone because I was still slightly ill. He must have seen it in my eyes because he bit his lip and looked down.

“If I hurry up I’ll do it in 5 hours.”

My smile got brighter and I was glad to hear that, 5 hours didn’t sound as bad as 8. As he saw that I wasn’t about leaving him alone he smiled.

“Well, you can join me if you want to. Just sit down there, I’ll start on it in the meanwhile.”

“Thank you.”

I needed some time to calm down, I was still upset from the scene shortly before and I needed some time for myself. So I sat down and watched him preparing the instruments and other things. He didn’t look up while talking to me.

“So…who’s the lucky one to receive that ring?”

“A friend.”

“Oh”, he smiled, “a girlfriend, that’s really nice.”

Oh my, why did they all have to be the same… I bet he’d have slipped with the machine when I’d have told him that it was a friend with a cock I loved. He was responsible for the ring, I wouldn’t pay him if he’d make a mistake, that was his bad luck.

“No, it’s a boyfriend.”

His smile didn’t fade; I was really stunned about his ease. He quietly carried on with his work and smiled his ass off.

“That’s even nicer.”

He didn’t say a word then and concentrated on forming the lines. I had chosen those waves because he was a water sprite and the violet because of my eyes…I knew that he was really fond of them. He’d hopefully love to wear that special and expensive colour on his finger. And he’d never get it off again because his finger was a bit bigger than 2.1 centimetres. I had planned this for such a long time and now it finally became real, I was happy and I was looking forward to showing him the special gift.

But the jeweller put an end to my dreams when he spoke again.

“You must really love him when you are looking like that while thinking about him.”

“Yeah. I must really love him.”

I sighed and rested there for another ten minutes before I greeted the man and left the shop. The ring would be finished at about 6 p.m., he had told me.

I went back to the café, but before I joined Gojyo again, I hid in the crowd to watch him for some moments. He was looking at the earth and he wasn’t smiling. He didn’t do anything, just sitting there and waiting for me. He was sitting with the back to the banisters so I snuck towards him and quickly put my hands over his eyes. He jerked because he hadn’t expected an attack like that but he didn’t say a word.

“Guess, you fool, who’s that?”, I whispered into his ear and kissed his neck and his silken hair.

“Houshi Sama”, he said and I could hear him smiling while talking.

“Aw, that’s uninteresting if you answer me straight off and know about it.”

“I know your hands better than you maybe do.”

Gojyo took my left hand and pushed the forefinger into his mouth to suck on it and with that in the mouth he muttered something like ‘I missed you‘. I pulled on my hand and went round the balustrade to join him.

“Where have you been?”

“If I wanted you to know, I’d have taken you with me, idiot.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Oh Houshi Sama you’re so clever, I’d forget how to breathe if you wouldn’t show me every day.”

“Right? You are lucky that you’ve got me.”

“What do you want to do next?”

“Since the only shop of the town, selling clothes, had thrown us out and the nightlife starts at 7 p.m. …I don’t know.”

“I see, you just wanted to be here.”

“Right. With you.”

This town really sucked. Nothing to do there, not even one single furniture shop to test some beds or a decent party we could spoil. They were really boring there. Gojyo waved for the waiter to come.

“Hey, bring us some chocolate cake, hurry up!”

“But we have some chocolate cake at home.”

He smiled at me and pushed away some strands which had covered my eyes again.

“Yes, but not here. And how can you celebrate a birthday without some cake.”

The waiter came again and brought us the ordered pieces of cake. When I was about taking the fork Gojyo grabbed it and took a piece of the cake and held it in front of my mouth.

“Happy Birthday, Houshi Sama”

In the sexiest way possible I licked over the fork and took the cake into my mouth. Gojyo hurried to prong another piece.
So we went on with that show until the plate was cleaned. His cake was still there and inviting me to abuse it. I took a handful of it and now held it in front of his eyes. He would have to bend down and lick my palm to get it into his mouth. And he really did it.

First he ate the pie, then he licked my hand clean from the sticky chocolate. So finally I had managed to make him to eat out of the palm of my hand.

When we had finished our games Gojyo licked over his lips to get them clean form the brown sweet stuff. And he pulled my chair closer to him and put my head on his shoulder so that I could comfortably lie there.

“Let’s watch those idiots, Sanzo…let’s watch them, busily running through the streets with bags in their hands…running through their lives, carrying nothing but hate and arrogance…they are really poor.”

“But amusing.”

“Yes, would be boring without them.”

So we watched those idiots, sticking their noses up in the air like they were something better then the dirt they had to look at when they were walking through the streets. Everyone just looked like the same, every one of them ignored the other and sometimes you even heard an annoyed gasp when someone just bumped into another brainless throttle. They were like shadows, floating in front of my eyes and not all too important. I was just as ignorant and brainless as they were. Almost. But I didn’t care anymore.

I had Gojyo who distracted me, who made me different, it was him who made me seeming different from the others. I was so glad that he had taken me, that I had seemed worth enough a try. When I thought about that I didn’t regret buying the ring. A fine sum about 2000 or something like that but I couldn’t have spent it better. Of course I could have bought myself pretty things, clothes, champagne, a decent car or whatever, but just this all meant nothing compared to Gojyo. He was worth more than 100 good cars, millions of bottles of champagne and billions of clothes. No, he was invaluable. Fuck the money, I was a fool in love.

I had closed my eyes but now Gojyo made me open them when I heard what he was doing. In a low but teasing voice, only as he was able to do that, -who else could have sung in such a damn teasing voice and even such a slow song-, he sent his song out into the streets, only audible for me in the usual hubbub.

“Young man,…there’s no need to feel down, I said young man…put yourself off the ground…”

I had to smirk about the choice of the song because I was sure that he knew about its real meaning.

“…you can stay there…”

Between the lines when there weren’t any words to sing he hummed and whistled and with every new sentence he got louder and louder. And this stupid song was contagious, so fucking inviting you to join him in bellowing with him. He was already singing that loudly that people started to turn around and look at him. And he was provoking them to do that because he knew that I’d have to laugh about their expressions.

They were staring at both of us in disbelief, as ever in disgust and in astonishment that someone still had some courage and attracted attention. He was moving in his seat, seesawing in step, moving his arms and wagging the cat tail. I had to laugh even more about the sight of that but when he stood up and stepped on the table to dance there stupidly I got attacked by a fit of laughter.

And when it came to the “Y.M.C.A” he even formed the words with his hands and after the first “Y.M.C.A” he had already dragged me on the table to sing and dance with him. I let it happen because I had just wished to be pulled on that table to party. His tail was flying around and his firm ass moving up and down was something I would have taken a picture of if I had had a camera right now…

Together we were shaking the foundations of that deadly dull town, making people stop and stare. Every “Y.M.C.A” attracted more people, watching us spellbound and clapping the rhythm. Nevertheless there were still the other ones who turned around to show us their backs and their annoyance but we didn’t give a shit about those fuckers.

When he had enough of dancing on that table and teasing the people he jumped off and pulled me with him because I still held the end of the chain in my hand. He moved into the street, loudly singing the chorus and I was walking behind him, supporting him in waking this town.

Some people with more courage even joined us and followed us and I was so stunned by that, that I even stopped for a moment and was abruptly pulled forward by Gojyo again. They really didn’t get much change there, we must have been a real exception and sight there…
And if they didn’t know us now for the rest of their lives they must had been deaf and blind.

With a loud “whew!” Gojyo finally stopped and fell on his knees, spread his arms and tilt his head back to look at the sky. When I had reached him I brutally lifted my knee and hit his head to wake him from his ecstasy and bring him back to reality. It was funny that I didn’t feel embarrassed in the slightest.

He fell forward and held his head and at the same time turned his neck to teasingly glare at me in annoyance.

“Houshi Sama!”

“What. Get back to reality and up.”

…

“NOW!”

He jumped up and looked at me.

“But heeey…you were also singing and even dancing, weren’t you, Sanzo Houshi Sama? And the way you have been watching my sexy ass”, he hit his bare ass cheek so that it made a delicate sound, ”and how you were nearly eating me up with your eyes…that’s really just not done by a priest.”

“I’m a hypocritical priest, I am allowed to do that.”

I looked around. They really seemed to be disappointed that the show was over, they had wanted to see more action and I had to smile about that again. What a sleepy little town.

“Come on, Gojyo, I think some of them will fetch their daggers and stab us…”

Gojyo also looked around and then suddenly embraced me.

“No one will dare to stab you, they will have to kill the nasty water sprite first.”

And with his arms round my chest he pushed me forward to make me walk with him.

“If you don’t know what to do now then let me decide for you. And I want to go to a restaurant because you have to get something decent at midday.”

“Gojyo, I’m not hungry at all…”

“Remember what I’ve said? I will feed you every day.”

It was impossible to refuse to go to that shitty restaurant and to order something disgusting and dripping from fat. I had gotten used to not eating much during the days so that it was difficult to re-educate my body now. I really didn’t understand him. Everyone liked their lovers good-looking and thin, why shouldn’t he also? Of course there were always some exceptions, you always saw some couples, one of them very thin and the other pretty corpulent, but the other case outweighed.

I silently hoped that Gojyo wasn’t one of the perverts who liked his honey with a lot of hot fat. That thought had already made sick and now I was really scared that I’d gag the moment I had to eat that gross food. I almost liked myself as I had been but I didn’t know how it would have been when having put on weight. Maybe it was also an interesting feeling. Anyhow, at the moment Gojyo wanted me to do that. And I would try hard to please him.

“You can choose between this restaurant”, he pointed at one of two with a finger,” or this.”

Both looked average and I didn’t care which one we took, it didn’t matter anyway. So I went towards the first one with him still hanging on my shoulders. I wanted to sit outside. I didn’t like those crowded rooms, full of awful smells and disgusting people, I liked it better to sit on the porch and watch the people, struggling with their lives, fighting with their thoughts, walking from place to place, absolutely determined.

We sat down and the next moment the waiter brought us the cards with some strange looks. I sighed. Everything there was a big meal, they didn’t have something like spaghetti or just salad and anyway, Gojyo wouldn’t have allowed me to order that. After some moments of thinking about how I should tell him about it I put the card down.

“I don’t want anything.”

He didn’t even look up from studying his card, he ignored me. Well, I certainly wouldn’t tell the waiter what I would like to have. I leaned back and watched the people until the waiter came again to ask us whether we had already decided about our meal.

“Mineral water, please.”

Now it was his turn. He hadn’t even reprimanded me for that or shot me an annoyed glance.

“I take the zander with rice and salad and also a glass of mineral water and for him…the salmon, please.”

He smiled at him, the waiter smiled back and disappeared with the cards.

Damn him.

I peered at him with narrow eyes.

“I won’t even touch it. I said I wanted mineral water and nothing else.”

“Well, why are we eating at a restaurant then if you only order some water? That’s the crux of the matter of going out, honey.”

I crossed my arms in front of me and let him feel my bad mood. He looked at me with a worried look and then looked at the floor.
I was really serious about that. And he really thought that I was ill, that I was suffering from anorexia. What nonsense. It was just hard for me to eat when I wasn’t hungry. Or maybe I didn’t feel hungry because I drank so much coffee…nevertheless he hadn’t the right to decide for me. Never.

Maybe he liked being ordered about but I was a separate person. I could handle my life by myself. No, I couldn’t do that at all. I would have killed myself, all those bad experiences, those strokes of fate, I wouldn’t live anymore if Gojyo hadn’t administered to my needs. I smiled. And I still didn’t know what had made him like me. He always said that it was my character which drew his attention on me but I didn’t believe him. Bitchy assholes didn’t seem interesting for anyone, why then for him of all people.

I wasn’t so special, I didn’t have anything which other people didn’t have except of that red point on my forehead which was a sign for the chosen one but I didn’t think that he loved me because of that. My body was just like anyone else’s, my temper was much worse than anyone else’s and my attitude in general wasn’t very warm and welcoming. Maybe it had just been one if those cases: one deep look into my eyes and he had lost himself there. I knew that he liked my eyes very much but did that suffice for a man who had always fucked women to fall in love with another man?

He also often said that it wasn’t a problem that I was a man, it wasn’t one for him, but I still asked myself sometimes why that had started, why on earth he had chosen me for his honey when he always had had quick and apparently also pleasing sex with some female. I couldn’t find a solution to this problem. And maybe there didn’t even exist one at all. Some things were better left unsolved, they had more charm then. He loved me and I was happy about that, no matter why or how.

“I will try to eat that crap.”

He was glad to hear that, he was happy now. Every time he smiled at me I also felt his friendliness and his tolerance and the feeling of just being accepted. Actually I had never really been accepted as whatever I wished being accepted as, I had always been the holy and wise man for the monks, the man who knew how to live, how to make peace and how to get salvation, it was nearly depressing that they were thinking of me in such a wrong way. First I didn’t know how to live, either didn’t I know how to make peace or how to get that salvation. Maybe I was wise, I couldn’t gage that, but I certainly wasn’t holy.

Someone who shot people every day, who drank, smoked, cursed like the devil himself, gambled and even had the dirtiest sex you could have and on top of that with a man wasn’t holy. Not in terms of me. But let them believe in whatever they liked to, as long as they didn’t tell me to stop loving they didn’t matter to me. Maybe I was the light for them, maybe I was the one who could give them new hope and I didn’t care whether it was really like that or not, I just cared whether I could give him new hope.

I gave him new hope and he gave me new hope, he showed me how to live and he made peace, not I. I was even at a point to say that he had showed me the heavens and salvation because in presence of him I felt light, I was happy to no ends and I didn’t want any moment of just enjoying his presence to end. Neither the gods, who just watched, never interfered, nor the human race had been able to make me like life, to enjoy it and say “It’s a gift from the gods, I’m thankful for that.” They all just made me say “I hate it, I endlessly despise it.”

So neither the gods nor the people there had made me happy, it was a dirty half-breed who had made me live. I would have miserably perished in a monastery and if I had had to live the live of a lonely hermit high on a mountain top, I would have gotten so desperate that I would have jumped off that goddamn mountain. People needed someone to care for and to love, how much I had tried and somehow still try to deny that, I knew that people couldn’t live solitary lives.

Now the waiter came again, carrying the plates and the water. It looked like some very hard work. Even labour if you want to describe it like that. I eyed the fish. Maybe it would have looked delicate and would have raised a feeling of joy in you but I didn’t feel anything. That was just a thing of annoyance. Gojyo must have been really hungry, the moment the waiter put down the plate he took the cutlery and started cutting his fish. I watched him some moments and tried to feel hungry but I wasn’t successful. It must have been really bad if I didn’t even feel hungry in front of such a good-looking arrangement of food. With the biggest aversion I took the fork and knife.

I didn’t even have the time to defend myself from his attack: Suddenly he shoved a piece of the white flesh into my mouth.

“MMMH!”

“You like it?” he smiled at me.

I chewed and tried to swallow that dry thing. Well…I couldn’t have said that it tasted good or bad.

“Mh…good.”

He continued spearing the fish and now I also tried to get some of that down my throat.

When Gojyo had finished I still had half of the dish on my plate and I already felt sick. It was too much for me.

“I can’t eat up, Gojyo, I’m full, I‘m sorry.”

He took my fish on his plate and ate up the rest.

“I’m happy that you even took the fork into your hands.”

It was a rather unpleasant feeling to feel so…stuffed and filled and I had to belch from the mineral water. Entirely unpleasant.

“Are you content now…?”

Gojyo looked up.

“Look, it’s for your own good, you don’t eat that for me but for yourself, why do you think you always feel cold and see stars when you stand up? Do you think that runs in your blood or what?”

I really hated him when he was talking like that. He thought that he could teach me better. I was the Sanzo here, the wise man.

“Thank you but I know what’s good for me and what not.”

“It doesn’t seem like that at all.”

He really pissed me off with that and I clenched my teeth and my fingers to prevent me from standing up and shouting at him. People were already examining his cat tail and naked ass from behind us and if I now stood up I would have drawn even more attention on the sick couple, namely on us.

Now he looked so goddamn pitiful like I was a stupid child, which had to see that he was right. But his look slightly changed the next second and he was the loyal dog again.

“Believe me, it’s good for you, honey.”

I turned my back on him and stared into the restaurant. My behaviour was childish but it gave me immense satisfaction. And I always favoured the satisfaction over some decent behaviour.

“You want me to be fat, you sick pervert, it just turns you on to watch me suffering.“

I heard the noise of his chair moving on the sand and then I felt him softly pinching my ears from behind.

“Oh yeah, I want Houshi Sama to get fat and…” he touched my lower back with his knee and made me rock forward because I was so touchy there, ”and all so delicate. I want something to pinch”, he really pinched my side, ”and I want something to lie on, not just those hard bones.”, and he rubbed the bones of my ribcage.
He came closer.

“I want something to torture, some flesh to make it bleed, something to bite, I want to lace you up and I want some flesh to grope for.”

I was baffled, staring at the entrance of the house and trying to find that sexy what he had mentioned. If he liked me like that I would work on putting up some weight for god’s sake, I didn’t care how I looked like, I just wanted him to enjoy me. And I always thought he would like me thin and just good-looking, I hadn’t considered him to be the one to like me chubby and squeezable.

“And how much…shall I weigh then?”

“I’m already happy with some kilos but you’d look marvellous with about another 12 kilos.”

That was a lot. I began to doubt my success.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you to achieve that, if you really agree on that. I don’t want to force you to do anything. Of course you can stay as you are, I’ll never talk about it again, I respect your decision as well as in any way possible.“

I smiled. And raised my arm to make the waiter come.

“Coffee and a chocolate cake, please!”

First Gojyo didn’t know what to say. He sat there, leaning on my back and shoulder and was left speechless.

“Don’t you…think that you’ve already had enough of that chocolate cake?”

“I just like it and I haven’t had something like that for quite a while.”

It was true, I never happened to get a chocolate cake, from where anyway? And I wasn’t the one to tell Hakkai to bring a cake along just because I felt like eating some cake.

“What about feeding me? Didn’t you promise me that you’d feed me every day? You’re really careless.”

“I have fed you during our stay in the café, don’t you know anymore?”

“That’s not enough.”

“Oh my…”

But I had to eat the cake all alone, Gojyo was so sated that he couldn’t even look at it. After I had also finished my coffee I wasn’t able to stand up anymore. They would have had to come with a lorry to get me out of this town. Another 3 hours to wait for the ring…but I wouldn’t have been angry if we spent the time sitting there and lying on each other on the porch of that restaurant.

“How are you feeling?”, came the question from above. I was lying in his lap, content and too lazy to watch the townsfolk anymore.

“Tired.”

“Maybe we should have stayed at home and-”

“No.”

He was stroking my arm and tousling my hair.

“You remember about letting it grow? You promised me…”

“Yes.”

I closed my eyes and let my brain think for me, I didn’t want to strain myself anymore, I was too tired. After some minutes I had already fallen half asleep and was dozing in that wonderful state between reality and dream. The sun was shining on us and made me feel comfortably warm and my black chemise collected the heat.

After about one hour I opened my eyes and I just saw the jacket I had taken with me. Fortunately it was that big that there was some space left I could fill when I had managed to put on some weight. I peered up at Gojyo to tell what he was doing. He was still watching the people with a tired and almost sad look. Suddenly I felt my thigh itching and moved a hand down to scratch at it.

Gojyo looked down at me and smiled when he saw that I had opened my eyes. I looked back up at him and it was obvious that something was bothering him.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought we should have to talk about shit?”

He licked his lips.

“I hope I didn’t cow you into that decision. Because it seemed like…you were only doing this for me, and I…don’t want you to suffer for me. I have seen how hard it was for you to eat that fish and I think you…just should do what you think is right and not what I say.”

“It’s also right for me, one way or the other. What is true for you is also true for me and I don’t want you now to keep thinking about that shit for the whole day.”

I sat up and yawned vulgarly. Some people shot me contemptuous glances, they still weren’t tired of looking at us.

“Come on, get up, I’ll visit that man again and then we join the underground.”

He didn’t know what I meant but it was even better that way so I could surprise him. Together we went to the jeweller and I told him to wait outside. He didn’t complain and I left him with a smile. When I entered the room I saw the man sitting on a chair and smoking. Now he noticed me and stood up.

“I’m happy to tell you that I have already finished the work, it hasn’t taken me that long in the end.”

“Can I take a look at it?”

“Sure.”

He gave me the ring. It was really beautiful, those violet waves were shimmering and matching so good with the titanium… It couldn’t have been more beautiful.

“I'm very happy with your work, how much do you want?”

“1000 and we are friends.”

“Okay.”

I took out a little bag made of black velvet and took out the sum I just had agreed on. I didn’t want to use the card for this, it was a special gift and this was the money I had saved over years to have it in case when I needed it. And that was a sound reason.

I paid for the ring and put it into the empty bag. There were some coins clattering in it but they were peanuts, I had nothing left of my money saved. Once again I thanked him and left the shop. When I came out Gojyo was curiously looking at me but I didn’t tell him anything. I just took the chain and dragged him down the street.

The sun was already disappearing over the horizon when I saw the house I had been looking for. A blue neon sign shimmered above the entrance where a man dressed in a suit was standing. He was looking at the people and permitting them to get in or telling them to leave and I was confident that he’d let us in there. Casually I walked towards him and queued up.

From time to time some people left the place in disappointment but I didn’t doubt that he’d let us in. When it finally came to us he briefly eyed us, stepped to the side and let us in. I smirked in triumph and dragged the stunned Gojyo down the steps. The walls were painted in black and music was already penetrating our ears. Just the music I liked…I knew that this was the right place.

When we had reached the end of the steps, a big room appeared, a very big room. It was full of people, moving in the laser light, dancing and teasing each other. Everything was black but there was also some red mixed with it, on the left side there was a bar, from the beginning till the end of the -you could almost say- ‘hall’. It wasn’t that long but rather broad. On the right I saw tables and seats, on the opposite of the room there was another entrance I had been anxiously looking for and in front of us was the crowd, screaming and wildly moving.

But this wasn’t a normal disco at all, there were much too much chains and black. Almost naked man with some leather strings were teasingly dancing in cages some meters above the crowd and on the gallery of that room were standing people, some watching the crowd, some occupied with other things you just could smirk about. It was perfect.

And Gojyo was so stunned that he didn’t even move when I pulled on the chain. Maybe he had never ever seen such a perversion of a disco, he hadn’t been aware that places like these even existed.

“Come on!” I shouted at him.

He turned his head and stared at me. I turned back around and dragged him into the crowd with me. Dark music, perfectly danceable. I felt alive again, that noise, disturbing and pushing, all those people, moving in ecstasy and just enjoying, it was hard to top. Talking about the people…there was a variety of things you could discover that it would have taken you hours to examine them thoroughly. Some of them were wearing gas masks in various versions, others wore almost nothing, but most of them wore black clothes, some in the bondage-style, others just wore that kind of clothes with which you wouldn’t walk around in the streets. But there were a lot of people who were chained to their partners.
We didn’t even catch their eyes.

I was already dancing, teasing him by moving in a sexy way and inviting him to join me. Finally when he had overcome the shock or delight he also moved closer to me and kissed me quickly on my mouth. Dancing to the rhythm of that music was easy and so enjoyable... As he rubbed his groin on my own I knew what I had missed all my life. I put my hands on his hips and pressed him against me, still dancing and kissing him now. We were moving in circles, as careful as the others not to disturb anyone there but still larking.

Finally I bit him and pushed him away and he stepped back but just about half a meter because the chain was too short to allow him more freedom. He came back to me, bent down and licked along my shin. Still moving I gripped his hair and slowly pulled him up to the bulge in my pants. No one was watching us. They were all doing the same in some way.

He didn’t hesitate, his tongue darted out once again to lick over the leather of my pants. Although the fabric was rather thick I felt his touch and immediately wanted to fuck him right there. With all his slickness he sucked hard and even bit me slightly. The scene around me, the wild music and Gojyo sucking me off through the pants aroused me to no ends. If he hadn’t stopped now I would have come on the dance floor.

Somehow he felt it, he couldn’t have heard my moaning in that sea of noise, and he drew back to turn around and rub his back against my chest. Still dancing I embraced him and stroked his lower belly. Then I went further down with one hand and with the other I searched for his nipples. His pierced nipples. He had to be punished for arousing me that much and then just letting me suffer.
I left the waistband behind me and began to caress the spots covered with thick hair down there.

I pulled on it and then pulled my hand out to reach behind him and stroke his balls by putting the thin string which went from the underside from the pants to the button of them to the side and shoving my hand in. He rocked forward into my touch and pressed his thighs together in bliss. While squeezing his balls I pulled on his nipples, I couldn’t concentrate anymore so I must have pulled too violently because I heard him screaming through that deafening noise.

I quickly let go of the ring and pulled him back to me. The rhythm of the song sped up and took my soul with it. I pressed my hard-on against his ass and squeezed tighter and put my fingers into his mouth. He bit down on them in delight and stifled a scream when my teeth sank into his shoulder. I splayed out my fingers and he sucked on them while moving his hips in circles. When I felt saliva dripping from his mouth I took my fingers out to smear it all over his body and make him wet. Gojyo was in a good condition, he didn’t sweat at all but I was wet like I just had stepped out of the shower tub.

Slowly it was choking me anyway…the hot air, the exertion, the constant noise and my tiredness made me feel light-headed. But I didn’t want to spoil his pleasure when we had already gone so far. I felt sick and that bilious taste in my mouth and I tried to ignore it.
The bass was dull and hammering and I could feel it pulsing through the whole body, vibrating and humming, all the people around us danced and let themselves being carried away by the loud noise.

I swallowed and while leaning against his back I realized that I was panting heavily and that the air I was breathing in felt like thick jelly.
This all was blinding me, making my senses go numb and I couldn’t move my arms anymore. I was hanging on Gojyo like that until he dragged me to a free table. He had looked back when he had noticed that I wasn’t doing anything anymore and when he had seen my expression he had taken my arms from his chest and half pushed half carried me to the table there. The seats there weren’t really frequented because they all liked to dance or to watch the others from the gallery.

“Shall we go out to get some fresh air?”

He had to shout into my ear because the music was so loud. I closed my eyes for a moment and shook my head. Sadly I stared at my fingers because I thought that the evening now was ruined. If I just had been healthy… He moved closer and held me, consoling me or whatever he had in mind. And I was still hard; I cursed the world for my inability to stay calm.

It was almost painful and it didn’t get better so I reached down and stroked myself through the leather. When he noticed what I was doing he sneaked under my pants and gripped my already twitching cock. He wasn’t able to move his hand properly because of the tightness of the pants but it was enough to make me go crazy. I groaned and arched up into the air, pressing my feet against the floor and clenching the velvet furniture. In addition to pumping my cock he began licking my neck up to my ear where he bit me. I cried out and tensed up, the music was still killing me and blurred my senses and vision.

When he pinched my nipple hard I tensed up as much as possible to feel the pain in my thighs from stretching them that intensely and make me cum. This feeling sent thrills down my spine and I didn’t hear anything anymore. I knew that I’d come in some seconds so I grabbed his other free hand and when I finally came I bit into it. The harder I came the harder I bit down and he tried to draw back from me but I didn’t allow him to escape me.

And I wanted to die right now. In the arms of him, fainting and dying from exertion and so much bliss, caused by him.

He never stopped rubbing my cock when I came and neither did he now which made it feel more intense and made the orgasm last longer. I was screaming and shouting and I didn’t hold back because I knew that nobody would hear me in that noise. One last squeeze of Gojyo made me sink back with a sigh. I closed my eyes and tried to get something different than hot thick air into my lungs. I felt him pulling out the hand and then I felt the wet pants pressing against my damp skin. Despite I had gotten used to that feeling I was looking forward to going to the toilet and cleaning myself.

After some minutes Gojyo took me on his hands and carried me to the toilet. I was grateful that he did that because I wouldn’t have been able to walk anyway. Black tiles decorated the room and it looked pretty neat and noble. Fortunately they had opened a window to let in some cool and fresh air and I felt better the very second I inhaled that sharp biting air.

Gojyo dropped me there and I leaned against the wall to wait for him to come back with something to clean me. In the meantime I unbuttoned my pants and stared down at the white mess there. He finally came back to me and wet some toilet paper to wipe away the cum. While he was happily cleaning me, a couple entered the room. They shot us a quick glance, not very interested and not even disgusted or annoyed; scenes like these were normal in that house, and together they disappeared in a cabin. I wondered that they had let in the women because this was the men’s restroom, the ladies had their own room but apparently nobody cared about anything.

Nobody cared at all, nobody cared about what you did, how you did it and why you did it; it was wonderful. And while I felt Gojyo touching the sensitive skin with the rough toilet paper I wondered where all those perverts lived. They couldn’t live in that town, it was much too…conservative and boring for them. Or they must hide the whole day and come out when it got dark… There were dancing a hundred, more than two hundred people in that hall, it couldn’t be that all those people with that dark obsession lived in that town.

Gojyo had finished now and washed his hands. When he was done he went back to me and kissed me on my mouth. We shared a long and intense kiss while another couple, this time male/male came in and looked for an unoccupied toilet. It was funny to imagine all those people having sex there but I really hadn’t the right to judge them.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes. But I don’t want to go back to the hall, let’s see where the other entrance is leading to.”

I couldn’t hide the smirk because I could already imagine where it led to. Every one of these decent clubs had such a room or more of those rooms. I took his hand and left the two couples alone. Again the loud music and hot air hit me but we quickly left it behind when we entered the next room. Actually it wasn’t a room, it was more of an aisle with black walls, dipped into cold blue light and leading to three more rooms.

Gojyo didn’t know what that should have been for but I was overjoyed that it was such a luxury club. I took the end of the chain and dragged him into the first room. A sea of naked bodies, sweating and eternally moving, greeted us. I took a few steps forward to get a better look at these creatures. A weak light bulb was installed in the middle of the room, radiating a dim light so that you could just see whom you were fucking but that was it. Some people had watched us and now came closer.

“You’ve got a nice pet there, sugar…shall we attend to the owner and his companion?”

Gojyo held himself in the background, he hadn’t expected something like that at all and now was too shy to enjoy the sensation. That was really the first time I had seen him like that, I could almost feel his intimidation. Maybe he knew what was waiting for him.

“No thank you, we’ve just arrived and check out the scene.”

One of them, the only one with his shirt still on, pushed himself forward and laid a hand on my shoulder. While he started talking I glared at him and pushed it away.

“I can take you around you if you want to…”

I couldn’t see his eyes properly but I think he also glared at me, provoking me and challenging me. And of course I took the challenge; I wouldn’t let myself being defeated by such a filthy bastard.

“Then show me”, I hissed,” if you are in a sore need of that…”

He smirked and took the chain to lead us but this was the worst mistake he had ever committed in his life. I gripped his wrist and dug my nails into his skin so that he quickly let go and with the most threatening voice I taught him a lesson.

“He’s mine, don’t you dare even look in his direction, I’ll tear you apart.”

He looked at Gojyo though but just to make him a compliment in his defeat.

“You’re lucky that you’ve got such a bitchy and jealous as hell blond as your master…otherwise I would have already fucked you into the floor…”

I was shocked at his impudence and I reached out and seized his throat. I felt the blood pulsing through my veins that it almost hurt and I was so upset that I had forgotten about the scene around us. I moved closer until I could see the white in his eyes.

“I want you to be a bit more decent when talking to me, you understood?”

He barely managed a ‘Yes’ and I let go of him. I felt Gojyo near my ear.

“Well, because you are the god of all decent people, aren’t you…”

I pulled on the chain to get him into sight and pulled him down so that I could straight look into his eyes. I stared at him seriously but only to surprise him more because I was already smirking.

“No. I never said that.”

After that little demonstration of who the alpha leader was there we followed the man into the next room. There wasn’t really much to explain because the moment you saw the scene and people there you knew where you had landed. I think he just accompanied us because he liked us. In some way. Unfortunately. He explained though.

“That’s the dark room. Actually one of the dark rooms but the real dark room.”

From the very second on we had stepped into that room I had fallen in love with that place and the third room would have to be absolutely outstanding and impossibly fine to be better than this one. But of course it wasn’t, it was hard to be better than the previous one. In the middle of the third room we found a little pool, illuminating the dark with its halogen lamps under the water. A cool blue was shimmering on the walls and another headlight was casting blue shadows on the wall in addition.

While I was hypnotized by the light I felt Gojyo pulling on the chain, so I swiftly turned around. They were fighting: The man was clumsily trying to grope his privates and Gojyo desperately tried to shove his hands away from there. I pulled out my gun and slammed it against his temple so that he stumbled to the side and looked at me with a shocked expression.

“My little friend…didn’t I tell you not to even dare to look at him and now you’re groping him?”

I tried to calmly talk to him like a mad psychopath.

“Really, what shall I do with you?”

Again Gojyo was behind me, whispering into my ear and making sure that the man didn’t get any word of our talk.

“Take him to the second room and rape him”

I smirked and when I saw that this only made his uneasiness rise, I smiled a wicked smile. I took away the gun, firmly took his hand and pulled him to the second room. I pushed him against the wall and when he looked up again he was chained to it. Although Gojyo was the only man who looked attractive to me he didn’t look bad either. He was averagely thin, had short black hair and also a pale skin but not that pale as mine, I had already noticed that before.

I didn’t know whether he would begin to scream for help or I don’t know what or whether he’d enjoy it, so I took one of the red balls with cords from the floor and gagged him. He pulled on the chain and we enjoyed the picture. Gojyo had bent over me and was stroking my cock through the pants again and I was kissing his cheek. The man made muffled sounds but nobody cared about that, that may had been just as normal there as fucking animals in the first room.

“We’ll play a little game now.”

I went towards him until I was standing in front of him and pulled down his pants which he had put on while showing us the other rooms. Gojyo positioned himself next to him and talked to him in an amused voice.

“That’s really not good when he wants to play. You know, we once played and…afterwards I wasn’t able to sit on my ass and lie on my back for three days…”

I smirked about the man who now pulled on the chains again but with more force. He was sweating and really nervous and also scared of us because he didn’t know what would come next. I bent down and looked at his cock. Either he was a pure top or he was too scared because his dick was entirely limp. Gojyo couldn’t know what I had in mind because I had never done this to him but he supported me as good as he could.

“Oh my, I was bleeding from my ass for minutes, I didn’t know anymore where my head and ass was, not to speak of right or left…”

Maybe he was partially referring to the rape some weeks ago, I could remember about it very clearly. I had been an asshole, that was beyond argument. While Gojyo was telling him about the pain I should have caused him I gripped the man’s cock and quickly moved my hand back and forth. His moans drowned in the general moaning and groaning and although he hadn’t been aroused at the beginning I acted so skilful that he came within a short time.
I let his cum drip into my mouth and swallowed all of it with a smile. When he was done I stood up and made a step towards Gojyo.

“Your turn now.”

I heard a short and evil laugh and Gojyo bent down in front of him to take him into his mouth. While Gojyo was working down there I leaned on the man’s shoulder who had closed his eyes and still pulled on the chains.

“He’s good, isn’t he? No one can do that better than him, I promise you. Or do you know someone who could outdo him?”

He groaned and violently shook his head. I looked down at Gojyo. With one hand he was squeezing the balls of the man, with the other he was stroking himself. That ball torture must have really hurt, considering Gojyo’s white knuckles.

“What the hell are you thinking that you’re so hard, you shitty half-breed!”

With a sucking sound he let the hard cock fall from his mouth to answer me. Saliva was sticking on his chin and cheek and he looked so fucking adorable with that smile.

“I’m sucking you off, Sanzo. It tastes different but nevertheless…”

Now I applied the attention to the man again and while he was twisting and jerking I bit his nipples and even drew blood from them. Another muffled moan, louder than the others, escaped him.
I touched Gojyo’s shoulder to make him look up at me and he immediately understood what I wanted him to do.

We changed places again and I gripped his cock like before and pumped. Gojyo was scratching his side and belly, making him twist and even cry. This time it took him a bit longer to come because he had already lost some of his strength. But the feeling of an orgasm when your strength has left you and when you felt weak and tired was even more intense because desperation and physical tiredness were making it more blissful. He came again for the second time and quickly after that we changed places again. He was already complaining and protesting but it was useless. Gojyo knelt down again and prepared to suck him off while I prepared for my next turn.

In front of them I stripped down to my naked cock and moved to the music which was still audible there. I moved my hands over my body and I was surprised and had to stop moving around when I felt another pair of hands on my body. I looked over my shoulder and saw another man, beautiful and looking at me with submissive eyes, asking and begging me to allow him to touch me.

Gojyo had moved to the side so that he was kneeling to the right of the man, sliding his tongue over and under the cock and eyeing me attentively. I looked back at the man and smirked at him and turned around again to face Gojyo and the man. I started dancing again, slowly, winding like a snake and feeling the electrifying touch of the man on my belly and on my thighs. When another man joined him, I thought I was in heaven. Six hands were moving over my body, from time to time teasing my cock and touching my balls. Gojyo was anxious not to let the man come soon because he wanted to enjoy the show on his right.

I raised my arms, dancing in circles, giving them the chance of guiding my body and making me hard by feeling their touch. If Gojyo’s hand had been part of those six it would have been perfect. And just as if he knew what I was thinking he stood up to walk towards me. But I wanted to tease him so I escaped their hands to care about our man again. Gojyo didn’t know what to do, I had just passed him wordlessly. While he was standing between me and the others he kept staring at me. But those two men had already realized what we were doing so they smiled and invited Gojyo with waving hands to come to them while I was doing my job there. But he shook his head, thankfully smiling back.

I hadn’t played seriously, you couldn’t have called me unfaithful because that meant nothing to me, that was just good for teasing Gojyo, letting those men grope me. I would never have cheated on him, no matter whether secretly or in front of his eyes, I didn’t even think about touching another man or less -a woman. And Gojyo knew about this, otherwise he would have called on his Shakujyo and torn them apart between their lungs and asses. He was a cat, cute and of good nature but ready to bite and kill.

He was standing in front of me and I elbowed him and he stumbled forward just into the arms of the men. He was embarrassed and wanted to get back to me.

“No, I…”

But they held him and whispered something into his ear. He calmed down after that and turned to look at me. In the meantime I had positioned myself in front of the man who was hanging in his chains but still watching me with open eyes. After one moment of considering things I freed him from the gag and went to Gojyo and shoved three fingers inside his mouth. He wanted to embrace or stroke me, I don’t know, anyhow, the two men held him by his upper arms and he had to stand my fingers, softly touching his inner mouth.

When they were wet enough I drew them out and while slowly walking back to the chained man I tried to shove them up my ass. It was difficult while walking and my ass felt much tighter than normally but with some effort I was able to get them through the ring of muscles. In front of the man I bent down and now it was much easier to push my fingers in up to the knuckles. I was exposed to Gojyo who now saw some parts of my head but my ass in his full bloom. I could tell because I was looking back at him and smiling.

He pulled on the men who held him there but they didn’t let go of him but each of them laid a hand on his body. One was softly stroking his chest and nipples and the other was gently rubbing his cock which was still hard. I fumbled for my sweet spot and when I had found it just pressed my fingers against it. It nearly made me sink on my knees and I groaned although I had already come for once.

Now I pulled them out and turned to face Gojyo again. Reaching behind me and taking the dick of the poor man into my hand, I moved closer to him and then with a jerk I rocked back to bury his length in my ass. A long moan escaped both of us and I bent down because of the sensation. From down there I looked at Gojyo how he was doing and I found him desperately looking at me, but longing for me, not desperate because I let another man fuck me. After some seconds of staring at me he lifted his head with a jerk and made a guttural sound. They knew how to make him feel good.

But I had to concentrate on myself, I drew back from him and with a brutal shove made his cock touch that spot again. Another push and I was panting, I hadn’t expected to get hard again. I fucked him really hard because I even felt my ass ripping and I must have been bleeding but the more I screamed and whined in pain the more desperate Gojyo got. Long before the man’s orgasm Gojyo couldn’t stand the teasing touch of them and the sight of me anymore and he gave in and spilled his cum.

The world was spinning and my body was so slack and overstrained but nevertheless I kept riding him until I couldn’t bear it anymore. If he had come while I had been fucking him I surely would have let his cock fall from my ass to let the semen drip on the floor. Only Gojyo could fill me with that.
Now he was slackly hanging there, too spent to even lift his head but panting heavily. He gasped for air and was forced to gag.

With a cock as hard as a rock I clumsily sauntered towards Gojyo and with a smile I pulled on the chain and he had to stumble to the man.

“One more time.”

Gojyo turned around and freed him from the chains. He would have sunk to the floor if Gojyo hadn’t caught him in time. Now he was pressed against the wall and with one quick move Gojyo had sunk in the man’s ass. The man whined but Gojyo groaned.

“Fuck he’s tight, Sanzo…”

While viewing the spectacle I let the men touch me again. When one of them leaned over me to kiss my collar-bone I felt his hard cock dig into my back but I didn’t, never on earth would let them fuck me. I turned my head to him and pulled him up by his hair. He expectantly looked at me.

“Bite me.”

I let go of him and immediately he bit down on my shoulder. The other did the same and bit my chest. Gojyo now was fucking the man hard and I could hear the slapping of his skin against the man’s ass. His tail was flying around and whipping the air and the image of him with the cute ears didn’t match the picture of the rape I was watching. In the middle of that fight Gojyo stiffly turned around.

“May I come…Sanzo…?”

I was occupied. Massively occupied.

“Yes, do…what you…please…”

I was about to topple over but the men caught me in time just like Gojyo had caught him some moments before. They couldn’t finish me, otherwise I would have collapsed there. I watched them. Gojyo was still fucking him against the wall, it was a really brutal and violent rhythm he had chosen. When the man came, indicated by an agonized cry, it was silent then and he didn’t make any sound anymore. Gojyo was leaning against the wall, covered in sweat and breathing that heavily that you saw his ribcage moving up and down.

He turned his head and through the panting he smirked.

“He has fainted, honey…”

I was hanging in their arms but now I was eager to get up and have a look at that man. They helped me up and it was then when I realized that we were still in that room number two, part of one single fun house. I looked around and still saw some couples caressing each other but I also saw a crowd of people standing in the door and half in the room, watching us.

A doubtful feeling started to take control over me and I expected them to run to us and catch us and throw us out from there any moment. But they didn’t move except of one or two which were jerking from their orgasms. They just watched us. No danger. At least not yet.

With the help of the men I faltered towards Gojyo who took me into his arms.

“Thank you, sweetheart”, and he kissed the one,” and thank you, sugar.”, and he kissed the other.

“We were happy to help, weren’t we?”, one asked the other and he nodded with a smile.

I whispered into Gojyo’s ear now.

“What shall we do with him?”

“Haah, I’ve got a brilliant idea. While you were fucking him it came to my mind.”

And he stopped talking now. I hit his chest.

“So fuckin’ tell me now!”

“We make a present out of him. For Hakkai.”

“What?!”

I had to laugh about that. Hakkai, calm and always holding back and that idiot, nasty, spoiled and loud, compared to Hakkai…it was perfect.

“Can you walk?”

“I’ll try.”

“Well then, I’ll take him.”

And Gojyo really took him on his arms and self confidently went towards the crowd. I hid behind him and followed him, holding on his shoulder. Shortly before he reached the people the crowd parted and formed an aisle. Now I noticed that they were grinning, smirking and all looking fascinated by that show. One of them even asked me about my name.

“Tell me, what is your name?”

Even Gojyo stopped and turned around to look at the one who had asked me that. A man, holding the hand of his girlfriend, both looking likable and respectfully at us. Gojyo came between us and kissed him on his cheek. Immediately I took the chain and pulled him back and he gasped. Nevertheless he started talking to them.

“We don’t tell you and instead of that we promise you to come there more often.”

“Well, that’s even better.”

I hit his back to make him move and he complied. We ascended the stairs and crossed the hall. The music was still turned on but the people were eyeing us suspiciously. Not all of them but a dangerously big crowd. I urged Gojyo to get out of there because they had a right to stare at us like that because we had violated the third unwritten rule of our religion. We quickly made it to the coat check where I took my jacket and then we left the hall.

We passed two houses and then Gojyo leaned against a wall with the man still on his arms. I had already gotten short of breath when we had ascended the first stairs up from the darkrooms. Now I leaned against the wall as well, loudly panting and moaning. I was suffering from intense stitches in the side.

“Hell, Gojyo…we mess up every party we join…”

He carefully dropped the slack body on the floor. Now that I gained a closer look at him I realized that we had taken him from there without pulling up his pants to cover his dick.

“Gojyo…we should…”

He had already bent down to do that. When he had stood up he took me into his arms.

“Did you like your birthday day? Was it to your liking?”

I huddled against his chest and smelled his sweat.

“It couldn’t have been better.”

He kissed and cuddled me and then let go of me to pick up the man.

“I’d say we drive back now, is that alright with you?”

“Yes, I can hardly stand anymore.”


When we were finally sitting in the jeep, Gojyo started it and I prepared for some hours of rumbling and rattling. Although I never sat still because there were always some damn bumps, I fell asleep after half an hour of constant rattling.

--------------------------------------


I woke up when Gojyo shut the door behind him. He was carrying me on his arms and it was dark around me. I just sighed and enjoyed it. When we were finally in our room he carefully laid me down on the bed and started taking off my clothes. First the pants - which was hard work because I pretended to be asleep and didn’t help him in the slightest. He had to lift my ass up to pull the pants over it and I was out to complicate it even more.

When the leather finally dropped on the floor he was sweating and panting again and now he was about to take off my shirt. While pulling the black fabric over my hands he leaned over me and it was hard not to sit up and bite into his nipples with the silver rings. I really loved to look at them. Then he stood up and looked at me. He hadn’t noticed that I wasn’t asleep.

Suddenly he sat down near me, licked over his thumb and with that he rubbed my eyes, probably to clean them from the makeup.
But he was SO cute, trying to get that stuff off by licking over my eyelids and softly rubbing them. I couldn’t but smile and fortunately he wasn’t looking at me that moment so it went unseen. He sighed and gave it up.

Gojyo just put off the cat ears and lay down near me. He pulled the blanket up to our necks, sighed once again and put an arm over my chest. But what were all those sighs about? They didn’t sound sad or desperate nor annoyed so I think he was just tired. I felt his nose tip on my shoulder and shortly after that his lips, touching my skin. He laid his head beside my arm so that I could feel his breath.

“Oh Sanzo…I love you so much…”

One more sigh and he had closed his eyes.


-----------------------------------------


In the middle of the night I woke up again with a head which seemed full of splinters and bells. My limbs felt like I had run a marathon around the world and my tongue was that numb that I couldn’t move it at all. I was lying there like a shot dog, not able to move or speak. I was just able to make some sounds but I felt too weak than to move my arm to wake Gojyo.

“Nnnnh…”

And it hurt to swallow and to breathe. My mouth felt as dry as the Sahara and even when I was lying the world was spinning terribly.
With all my strength I lifted my arm and let it fall on Gojyo, I didn’t know which part of him because I was suffering from night blindness, as always. Gojyo made an annoyed sound and turned to the other side.

“Nnnnn!”

I felt his hair in my hand and I grabbed it and pulled on it. Finally he woke up and drowsily looked at me.

“Mh…Sanzo…do you need something…”

I couldn’t answer him; I was too tired and weak to do that. When he noticed that I hadn’t answered him for minutes he sat up and switched on the lamp at his side. He turned around to find out why I hadn’t answered him and when he saw me he didn’t realize what was wrong with me. He petted my cheek.

“Sanzo, what’s the matter?”

I couldn’t tell him, it hurt too much. But I had to try, otherwise he would have never known.

“I…”

I didn’t even know what to say; my head hurt, I felt sick and I was too weak to move, so what should I say?

“I…don’t…feel……..good”
The fact that I couldn’t even talk properly and what I was saying started to worry him. He bent down to look at me but I must have looked as always because he leaned back again.

“Maybe this is because you were still sick when we went to town…shall I wake Hakkai?”

I didn’t want Hakkai to come to me and examine my body to tell Gojyo that I was still too weak to go to town and fuck around.

“No…”

I felt like being drunk but I knew that I hadn’t drunk anything so it must have been the disease. I really should have stayed in bed to cure it but instead I danced and fucked people I didn’t even know. I closed my eyes and felt the bed swallowing me.

“I hope we didn’t overdo things…”

He looked at me again and stroked my cheek. I tried to smile.

“You were still sleeping while I carried him into the house, weren’t you? Hakkai was still up to receive us and he was pretty stunned when I entered the room with a man who hadn’t blond hair and violet eyes. He didn’t know what was up with me and what to say, he just stared at that man. That was when I asked myself whether it was right to simply take him with us. What if he also has a lover or what if he is married to a nice girl, having 3 kids? We should bring him back to town the next day…I mean this is so stupid…taking a quite strange man with us, irrespective of his situation…that was so stupid…”

I hadn’t thought about that but now when Gojyo was pointing that out I had to agree with him. Nothing but trouble. But I really had liked the idea of Hakkai and that man together, it meant even more fighting and also trouble if he decided to stay with us. That man was beautiful, that was out of question, so it was a question of the character.

Anyway, Hakkai was much too quiet, sitting in his armchair all day long and watching TV or reading…you couldn’t call that living. During our journey he had been really different, still quiet but not that much as now. Petting his dragon, making tea and coffee and cleaning up after us, it was depressing how he spent his days. And if he really didn’t like that man we would take him to town the next day and hook him up with somebody else, no matter whether he wanted a lover or not.

It would be perfect then, I had Gojyo, Hakkai also had someone again and we were out of any danger so we could stay there until we’d die. I had really gotten used to that house, to Hakkai and those weird seasons the area was suffering from. I’d really miss that wood outside, the waterfall which will always remind me of that birthday, and the paths leading through the forest, to secret places, some beautiful and some really depressing.

I wouldn’t want to give up that secure life anymore; at the beginning when they had forced me to live there I had sworn that one day I’d escape them and go to wherever I had in mind. But going to wherever I had in mind didn’t go well with me, someone always found me and took me back. The headache got worse and I had to stop thinking about those nice things. Instead of that I was looking at Gojyo, tracing along his features with my eyes and getting lost in his red sea.

“You should try to sleep, Sanzo, maybe it will get better if you sleep.”

Yes, maybe. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Gojyo still had been awake when I had managed to fall asleep.


-----------------------------


“Breakfast is ready!”

I moaned. And I didn’t want to get up, not for the world except for a naked Gojyo, wrapped up in chains and gagged and…damn it. He wouldn’t stand there like that so it was useless to work out that thought. Nevertheless I sat up with a quick move and regretted that. My vision went white and my ears were singing but it disappeared after some moments. That really didn’t run in my blood.

Gojyo was already up and about to put on his pants. I looked around. Where had he dropped that bastard? Now Gojyo came to me to give me a morning kiss and he pulled me up and pushed me through the room to the kitchen. I was tired and I just realized half of the things which happened around me. Ah, there he was lying -on the couch, still sleeping. He looked completely different in that clear light.

My ass hit the chair and I was reminded that hours ago I had fucked that man. Too hard, considering things now. But I was glad to see a cup full of hot, black coffee in front of me and of course I took the offer. No milk, no sugar this time, I needed something to wake me up. While drinking the coffee I leaned against the wall, feeling my pulse speeding up. Gojyo and Hakkai were drinking in silence, very unusual, but I think they were also tired.

“What do you want to do with that…man?”

I had to grin about that, about that…man. He looked like a crossbreed between a woman and a man, he was worse than me. Although he wore short black hair he seemed like a woman. His arms were long and thin, like the rest of him, his chest was as beautiful as Gojyo’s and his belly…yeah. But his feet, they looked really…nice, so scrawny and broad. When he had applied some makeup you couldn’t tell whether he was a girl or a boy, of course we knew because we had sucked him off.

A really nice man, it was strange that we attracted all these weirdoes. And his character…better not talk about that. He was extremely horny, even more than Gojyo…well, maybe as horny as he was. When I thought about the scene when I had gotten up, still sick, to tell Gojyo that he ought to come to me, otherwise I’d tear him apart with the scripture, and when he had been staring at my cock, getting hard, I quickly abandoned the comparison of Gojyo and that man concerning the horniness. They were nearly turned on the same wavelength…
I felt like answering Hakkai, I needed to see whether I was able to speak or not.

“We’ll fuck him…and then throw him into the river.”

Gojyo laughed and turned to face me.

“Oh no…not another Koryû…that poor man, don’t you feel pity for him?”

“Not at all. He groped you, didn’t he? But you really could have defended yourself from him! Aaaaah…your really could have defended yourself from him, you‘re much stronger than that horny sod!! Did you enjoy that? Come on, tell me!”

I was glaring at him, he hadn’t been really interested in defending himself from that man’s attack. I was so jealous, I’d kill the gods if they touched him without my permission.

“I…didn’t want to hurt him”, he smiled embarrassed, ”and he was pretty smart so I never really managed to catch his hands.”

We heard the man moaning now. Maybe he had finally woken up, it was time to have a talk with him because if we didn’t leave now in the morning to drive to town it would take us the whole day to drive there and get back home and I really could have spent my day on better things. Gojyo stood up and went to him. And I had to grin about his methods to communicate with people.

“Are you married?”

The man blinked and didn’t understand a bit.

“Wha?”

“Are you married!!?”

“N-no…”

The man looked around and noticed me and Hakkai but while he was staring at us Gojyo continued to torture him with his questions.

“Have you got a lover?”

“Mh…”

“What? Yes or no?”

“I…”
He looked down.

“No.”

“Oh good.”

And Gojyo smiled and petted his head.

“Then you’ll stay with us and fuck the brunette.”

Hakkai choked on his tea, it even hit the wall and me while he was spitting it out in shock and surprise. He tried to clear his throat but he couldn’t catch himself that quickly. I loved to see his self-control slipping. Because it was such a rare situation. And the man was also stunned. While smirking I decided to explain things to him so I stood up and slowly stumbled towards Gojyo and the man. In the meantime Gojyo asked him again.

“Actually, what’s your name? Shall we call you Patrick or Patricia?”

The man swallowed and looked down, he was offended and not really content with that situation. But now he got what he deserved…although he had already gotten that that night in that club. Some people are just unlucky and get it twice what they deserved.

“I…my name’s Royo.”

“Well, that’s rather unusual…”

Now I had arrived at the table and sat down.

“Look, you can stay there if you want to, we need a fourth man anyway to clean the house and make coffee, Hakkai is swamped with all that shit.”

Gojyo laughed.

“You’re so mean!”

“You are not any better. Just asking him whether he’s married or has a lover, you are everything but tactful.”

“No, dead honest, you can stay there, we need some variety.”

The man sniffed and kept staring at the floor. As I looked at them I noticed that Gojyo still had the plug stuffed up his ass.

“Don’t tell me you slept with the plug, Gojyo…”

He turned around and smiled.

“Yes, I did, you haven’t told me to pull it out yet.”

“Doesn’t it hurt? You can take it out whenever you feel like it, whenever it gets uncomfortable for you…you know that, Gojyo.” I muttered.

The man hadn’t said a word until now. I really understood him because, what would you do if two men met you in a dirty place like this, suck you off until you come and then take you home with them to offer you to stay with them. Why? But Gojyo started another try.

“Do you have anything to lose? You are lonely aren’t you? And that’s why you go to that club, to find some distraction, helping yourself with pain to forget the other pain, isn’t it like that?”

He looked at us with wide eyes. We had hit a sore spot. But I was surprised when he really turned his face a bit to be able to peer at Hakkai. I turned around to see what he was doing but he behaved as always, he was staring at the tea with cute rose cheeks. Gojyo grinned now.

“Well, I think you’ve already decided, haven’t you.”

He let go of my hand and quickly took the man on his arms so that he couldn’t find the time to defend himself. With tiny steps he stomped towards Hakkai and there put him down to sit on Hakkai’s thighs. Both were surprised and didn’t know what to do and it was so amusing to watch them. I thought they’d sit there forever like that when Hakkai shyly started talking. If I hadn’t fallen for Gojyo’s charm I certainly would have for his.

“Ahm…hi, I’m Hakkai, the one who cleans up the house all day long…”

I already saw them sitting at the table at breakfast, sharing a croissant and drinking tea. They were staring at each other, he had brown eyes which matched perfectly with the colour of his hair. Hakkai still smiled ashamedly.

“Tea?”

“If you’re asking me that…I’d like…to have coffee…”

Well, then they’d just share the croissant. I took a look at Gojyo who was still watching them, obviously amused by that wordless conversation and fight at the same time. But I began to doubt the possibility of a relationship between them. Why should he love a man we had taken home with us, why should he love a man at all, why should he love this man and why should he be ready to forget Kanaan?

I gasped when they kissed each other. Royo had bent his head to search for Hakkai’s mouth and tongue and now kissed him gently. You still could see that Hakkai was shocked but didn’t push him away. He even brought his hands up to his head and held him to be also able to stick his tongue into Royo’s mouth.

Maybe those long days, those days which seemed to last ages when hour by hour passed but actually not really, had made him miss that touch. Time heals all wounds and he had also forgotten about Kanaan like I had forgotten about Komyô and Goku. It didn’t matter what we would have brought home, whether it was a girl or a boy, principally he had both now to be honest…but he would have taken him or her. I had seen his desperation when he had lain down between us that night when Gojyo had raped me, he was just looking for some comfort, for some skin to touch, he hadn’t been looking for Gojyo to grope him but just for his human touch.

I wasn’t surprised when I felt Gojyo’s lips on mine, maybe that scene had reminded him of that he also had someone to kiss and caress. While hugging me he whispered.

“Do you remember that song…?”

“Which one?”

“Yesterday…when we just had arrived there…”

“Yes, I really liked it.”

“Yeah…”

And he started singing that song. I had never heard anything like that before but the moment I had entered that hall I had known that I had missed something like that until that moment.

“I read your mind…But it wasn’t a very interesting read…”

I was surprised that he had kept those words in mind, firstly I hadn't really understood them at all and secondly I wouldn’t have memorized them in that hell around us.

“How…why do you still know the words…of that song?”

He was humming and during the pause he told me.

“I already knew that song…the plot was contrived…and the characters were too consumed by need…”

I felt that atmosphere again, he sang it perfectly, I wouldn’t have been able to sing in that way…

“The fairy tale you sell is a lie, but I read the truth behind your eyes…”

I felt his hand scratching my naked back, slowly but forcefully.

“These words just don’t ring true, and tell me all I need to know about you”

He stopped and dug his nails into my skin so that I jerked forward to escape his painful touch.

“Gojyo…”

Now he bit my shoulder and I felt that stinging pain in my stomach for a second. He let go of me and drew back and stared into my eyes. I wondered what he always saw there. He smiled and helped me up. When we were sitting at the table again Hakkai and Royo were staring at each other, trying to defeat the other. I drank the rest of my now cold coffee and then dragged Gojyo with the cup still in his hand into our room and closed the door.

“No, Sanzo…I want to…”

But he stopped when he saw my look dominating over him.

“Turn around.”

He did as I had told him and I came closer and hugged him from behind. Then I stroked his chest and with the other hand I spread his ass and gently pulled on the chain which connected the plug with the tail. It didn’t give way but Gojyo whined and bent down. I was lying on his back, licking his shoulder blade and caressing his chest.

“Relax…otherwise I can’t pull it out.”, I whispered into his ear and pulled on his hair with my mouth.

I pulled on the tail for a second time but I couldn’t move it.

“Do I have to make you come so that you finally relax?”

“No, please! I’m trying hard…to…”

With all my strength I harshly pulled on the chain and with a wet sound and a high-pitched cry from Gojyo the thing was hanging from my hand. He fell on his knees and panted. While he was trying to catch himself again I went to the bathroom to clean it. When I came back he was still sitting on the floor so I put that thing into place, into the cupboard we kept in our room, which was there only to be fed with pleasant, kinky things.

But he grabbed my leg and stopped me from crossing the room. I looked down and he snuggled up to it and licked over my shin.

“Have you seen his legs…? There’s not one single hair on them.”

“Lucky one…”

“I wouldn’t want my honey to be as smooth as a mirror…not his legs at least.”

He laughed devilishly and stroked my leg up to my inner thighs. I knelt down and took him into my arms.

…

“Is there some cake left?”

Gojyo chuckled.

“Yes, it’s in the fridge.”

I stood up to fetch some of it but Gojyo also stood up and joined me. As I quietly opened the door of our room I peered through it to tell what they were doing, Hakkai and Royo… Gojyo stuck his head through the slit as well and we were surprised to find them sitting just as we had left them. It seemed like we had woken Hakkai up. He had always been like ’dead but dreaming’, like I had been a long time ago before I had met Gojyo. They stared at each other, mercilessly and incessant.

We sneaked past them to get to the fridge but they didn’t look away, they didn’t let them being disturbed by us. While I was searching for the cake and taking out a plate and a fork, Gojyo watched them intently. They seemed like statues, immortal and captured by a strange magic. I had also experienced that magic and it was worth letting yourself being under charm. You don’t have to do anything, you just have to be amenable to that.

I took a big piece of the chocolate thing and dragged Gojyo with me. He would have stood there as long as they would have moved again if I hadn’t pulled him with me. Back in our room I gave him the plate and snootily stared at him. I sat down on the bed and waited for him to feed me. He jumped on the blanket and the cake nearly dropped on the sheets. Before taking a piece of it he shot me a strange glance.

“What.”

“Oh nothing…”

“Of course there is something!”

He grinned and put the cake on the blanket and touched my belly.

“You are lucky that you put on weight that quickly.”

“What?”

“Your body was used to just getting coffee and maybe a toast in the morning so you kept a tighter rein on your body but when you now eat cake or something sugary or fat your body will take everything it gets to be ready for the next famine, you know?”

“Really?”

I still wasn’t very happy about that.

“I bet you’ve already put on about one kilo after yesterday.”

I sighed. But if he wanted me like that I’d do it for him. And the cake didn’t taste that bad actually. So I leaned back, unbuttoned my pants and stared at him with a lurking expression. As I stared at him like that I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe anything. It was one of these strange moments when I lost the feeling of my body and when my senses melt and let me fall into an abyss.

It was like I wasn’t human anymore, I felt like a doll and I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to act like a human being was expected to act. It was like another form of reality, one in which you were able to look through that all and which gave you the feeling of endless wisdom and knowledge but if you were asked what you knew you wouldn’t have been able to tell that.

It was weird to lie on that bed because I didn’t know anymore that this was a bed and it was weird to look at my hands or feet because they seemed so unreal and strange like I wasn’t used to having and using them. Gojyo was still there, his features were entirely unfamiliar, I didn’t know whether I knew this man who was sitting in front of me. Usually that state just lasted for some seconds but I always feared that I wouldn’t get back to normal again, that I would last like that forever. I didn’t know what the word ‘love’ meant, neither what ‘heaven’ or ‘lie’ meant, I was out of my mind and didn’t know what to do because I didn’t know how to do it.

“Sanzo?”

Suddenly I knew how to move my tongue to form words but nothing more than that.

“It’s nothing”

I kept staring at him with a clear and set look because I didn’t know what else to do. It was like I was lying next to me, another man who was watching himself and at the same time caught in the mind of the other. I wanted to escape from hat terrifying feeling and I tried to think about how to end it but of course nothing came to my mind. I was just condemned to wait for the end of that.

And suddenly it was gone. As quick as it had been there now it had faded. Caused by nothing special. This was the worst feeling I had ever experienced, that rape some days ago was bliss compared to this thing. Because I couldn’t do anything against it, it was uncontrollable and it came and went. I could have done everything -if I had known how to- but I wouldn’t have been able to escape from that, it was like a disease filling my head and then fading to hide there for another month or year or so.

It rarely happened that I suffered from such attacks but nevertheless it happened. I should have told somebody about that but I was sure that they would have sent me to the psychiatrist of the town, now finally assured that I was insane. I hoped that it wouldn’t show up more often and that it was lasting just for some seconds but this time it had scared me to death with being present for almost half a minute. I felt nervous and confused and I wondered what may had caused this feeling but every time I had to cope with that it was a different situation, one time I was sitting on a chair, reading the newspapers, the next time it appeared when I talked to someone and the next time it happened when I was putting on my pants.

And every time it left me speechless and disturbed, I knew that I was insane. He had clasped my hand.

“I…that was weird…”

He was concerned about me and nearly knelt down into the cake when he moved closer and looked squarely into my eyes. I was so curious what he read in them. He shook his head.

“You know that these are the eyes of a lunatic?”

Had he really said that?

I closed my mouth to calmly breathe through the nose but thinking about that frenzy again made me breathless. What if I once was forced to stay in that state and wouldn’t know him anymore? I wouldn’t even know how to kill myself. Just every second strained your body and mind so much and although insanity already claimed you, you felt your mind rotting; you felt every little detail of that decay. Somehow I still would have known that I had loved him but I wouldn’t remember about anything, I wouldn’t know him anymore.

It felt like death.

‘I read your mind
Suffered through every last detail
I watched you try to make sense of your life
And I watched you fail’