Bad Case of Loving You

Disclaimer: NOT MINE FOR GOD’S SAKE! Except for Sei. Don’t steal him.

A/N: My God, this chapter is exceptionally long. I have a reason for it though. It’s because there is no lemon in this chapter. -Gasp- I know. No, lemon. But there really was no where to put it that would have made it work. So instead of a lemon, I just made the chapter really long and threw in some citrus with Akiha to make up for it all. I contemplated cutting it down, but then you would have had two or three chapters with no lemons. That would suck. So anywho, enough of my blathering. Here’s the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter Six

It was lunch time when Sei finally got a chance to sit down and talk with his best friend, Reiji. They sat together under a tree, sharing a large bento box they’d made. The two were actually room mates as well. Somehow, back in high school, the two had picked the same college to test for without telling the other. Upon being accepted and finding out they were going to the same place, they decided rooming together was a great idea. They were already best friends. So it made everything that much easier. They were an inseparable duo at school. People joked that they were joined at the hip. Sei really didn’t care. He adored his little uke friend.

He had just finished telling Reiji all about the previous night before scarfing down a riceball. “Umeda-san clearly hates that guy,” Sei spoke around the food in his mouth.

The uke scowled at him and reached over to wipe away a few stray pieces of rice from Sei’s chin. “You shouldn’t eat so messy. It’s rude.”

Sei shrugged. “You’re changing the subject.”

“Akiha sounds like a very determined man. Maybe Umeda-san is just in denial about his true feelings towards that guy,” Reiji said offhandedly.

“Why would you think that?” Sei asked, a little irritation creeping into his expression.

The uke shrugged casually. “Most people who react that violently to someone are using it as a cover up. I mean that’s a lot of passion directed at one person, whether in angry or not. Imagine having that kind of passion in bed.”

Sei stilled for a moment. That was what had been bothering him about Akiha. “Umeda-san has never reacted like that to me. That’s why I don’t like Akiha. Because he pulls out a passionate side of Umeda I can’t seem to touch.”

“Well, you are just supposed to be fuck buddies,” the uke reminded him bluntly.

“I know that. It’s just...something about Umeda makes me...,” Sei really want to put the rest into words. He stared off into space as his mind replayed all the moments he’d spent with Umeda. All of them had been enjoyable. Sei thought they got along great together. The desire for more than just being a sex toy to Umeda seemed to sneak up on him suddenly.

“You’re falling for him!” Reiji pointed out with a hint of anger in his voice.

“I am not! Why does every one keep saying that?” Sei growled as his friend snapped him out of his thoughts.

Reiji scowled. “Then why are you so jealous of this guy he fought with?”

“Cause the guy’s hot. I don’t stand a chance against him,” Sei snapped.

“I thought you just said you weren’t falling for him?” the uke asked with a snarky look.

Sei blew out an irritated breath. Why was he getting so worked up? He couldn’t be falling for the doctor. “I dunno. I’m trying not to. I know that’d be a waste of time. But he makes me want something other than just casual sex.”

Reiji sighed heavily. “You need to be more careful, Sei. I don’t want you to get hurt over this guy. Because you will get hurt if you try to stake a claim on him.”

“I know, I know.” Sei replied softly.

“Hey, I’m here for you no matter what.” Reiji leaned forward to sneak a quick kiss from his friend’s lips.

Sei flushed and grinned. “Thanks, Reiji.”

“Anytime. Now finish you’re lunch,” the uke smiled back.

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

Umeda looked up as the door was flung open. He wasn’t at all surprised to see Akiha come gallivanting through it. He wished the principal and the people in charge of the school didn’t like the photographer so damn much. He’d have the man restricted from even setting foot on the property if only to have some peace of mind.

“What the hell do you want?” He growled in irritation.

Akiha shrugged. “I can’t stop by and say hello? I was in the area.”

“Well, then go get lost somewhere.” The doctor glared at him.

“That’s cruel, sempai,” the photographer pouted.

There was a an awkward pause between them. Akiha sighed and dropped the act for a moment. He had come here for a reason. Getting distracted from his set course wouldn’t help.

“I enjoyed having dinner with Sei-kun the other night. He’s a very interesting young man. He seems quite fond of you,” the photographer remarked casually.

Umeda scowled. “I would appreciate it if you stay away from boyfriend.”

Akiha’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought he was just a sex toy? Like all the others.”

“He is.”

The photographer made a skeptical noise. “He did seem rather comfortable in your apartment. How often does he come over to visit?”

“Why’s it matter to you?” Umeda asked suspiciously.

“Curiousity. It’s hard for me not to be jealous of Sei. I wonder if you’re becoming attached to him,” Akiha replied honestly.

The doctor looked him in the eyes and said cruelly. “What if I am?”

Akiha frowned. “Do you mean that?”

“What do you care?”

“Because you know I love you,” was the persistent reply.

“For the love of Kami-sama would you stop saying that!” Umeda snapped.

“I’ll keep saying it forever until you believe it.” Akiha replied, fiercely. He tried to explain before Umeda lost his temper entirely. “If you want to love Sei I’ll be fine with that. I’ll even be happy for you, just as long as I know you’re happy. I just can’t stand watching you ruin your life because of a man that never loved you.”

“You’re any better?”

Akiha stepped back like he’d been slapped. Umeda tried not to let the man’s hurt expression bother him. Those words had been cruel. In a way, it had been supremely satisfying to say them aloud.

“Do you think this is a game or something?” Umeda snarled angrily. “You act like I’m the prize in the gumball machine you could never win. You chase me, you bother me, and you harass me to no end. Then you say things like this to me as if you had a right. I told you, Akiha, I’m tired of being yanked around.”

“Then what about Sei-kun? Isn’t he using you?” the photographer frowned.

Umeda glared at him. “I’m using him just as much. It’s called fuck buddies. It has nothing to do with love. I just want the sex.”

“What about Sei? You ever think that kid might be falling for you?” Akiha pointed out bluntly.

“Sei approached me. He knew exactly what he started. I’m not responsible for what he feels,” the doctor replied darkly.

Akiha threw up his hands in disgust. “Fine. I’m done trying to talk sense into you!”

“Good. It’s about damn time! The door’s over there. Feel free to leave.” Umeda gestured to the door. Akiha spun around and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. The doctor scowled as he watched the photographer stride away through the glass in the door. For some reason, he felt some strong, foreign emotion that felt oddly like guilt. But why the hell should he feel guilty for yelling at Akiha. The man drove him up a tree!

Urgh! He slapped his hands down on his desk loudly as he growled in frustration. He couldn’t sit in here. He was to mad to help anyone who might come in his office. He’d probably end up kicking out anyone who did try to come in right now. He needed to get outside and clear his head. Besides it was lunch time anyways. Maybe a quick walk for some food would help clear his mind. He was out the door before he could find some excuse or someone made one for him to stay in his office.

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

“Umeda-san!” a female voice called from across the street.

The doctor turned to see who had been yelling his name. He saw a young vaguely familiar woman running across the street. She waving her hand excitedly while grinning happily. For some reason, he stood and waited for her. Any other time he probably would have just walked away. There weren’t many women he enjoyed wasting time talking to. But no, something told him to stay. He’d later wish that he ignored that stupid internal voice.

The woman stopped in front of him, slightly out of breath from her sprint through traffic. Her sleek black hair was a little wind blown but she still looked cute. Her smile was so bright and cheerful it was instantly irritating to him. He wished he could remember who this woman was and why she knew him.

“Umeda-san! It’s so good to see you! It’s been years–,” she gushed.

He could only gaze at her blankly. She didn’t seem to notice his lack of response.

“Ryoichi was always talking about you!” she was saying.

His brain tuned back on with a snap. His blood felt like it froze in his veins. He was sure he’d forgotten how to breathe momentarily. He stared at her in shock as comprehension began to dawn on him. It couldn’t be her, right? Because that’d just be to cruel. Fate couldn’t hate him that much. “Nakamura Haruna-san?”

“Yes,” she chirped happily. “I’m so glad you remembered. I didn’t know if you would.”

“Oh yes I do,” he managed to say. He suddenly felt very ill.

The woman just kept right on chattering. “I keep telling Ryoichi that all of us should get together some time to drink or have dinner.” She laughed. “I know you two are so close. But he seems to think its bad idea about us getting together. I joked him about being afraid I’d get stolen from him. The look on his face was so cute.”

Umeda nodded, trying to swallow down the urge to puke. “Is that so?”

“Oh yes, I even teased him about you two having a secret affair. Everyone used to think so in high school. You two were always together,” she giggled.

The doctor wanted to scream, cry, and choke her all at the same time. How could she be so goddamned blind about what had gone on right underneath her nose? “I’m sure he denied that.”

“Oh of course. Very fiercely in fact. It was so funny how defensive he got about it. It almost made me suspicious,” she laughed.

“Well, I can assure you that nothing of the kind happened between us,” Umeda replied through gritted teeth and a forced smile. “We are like brothers. That’s all.”

“I know! He told me he was a 100 straight. He claimed that boldly. It was to cute. He did tell me that you’re gay though. Is that true?” she asked curiously.

“Yes, I am. Completely,” he answered, trying to control his swiftly building rage and hurt.

Her eyes widened in delight. “Wow, that’s amazing! Do you have a boyfriend!? This is so exciting!” she chirped.

“Yes, I do,” he answered simply. He knew she would run back to tell Ryoichi everything that been said between them. He certainly wasn’t going to give the bastard the impression that he was still hanging on.

“Oh wonderful! Well I wish you luck with him. I’d love to meet him sometime. Maybe you can bring him to our wedding,” she remarked brightly. She glanced down at her watch as he contemplated killing her in the middle of the street. “Oh my goodness! I have to get going! Ryoichi and I are meeting up for dinner. Say! Would you like to join us?” she asked innocently.

Umeda was not quite sure how to keep from having a massive breakdown right there on the sidewalk. “Oh no. I wouldn’t dare impose on such short notice.”

“But I’m sure–.”

“No, really,” he spoke a bit harshly.

She blinked but her smile never wavered. “Ok then. Well, it was wonderful to see you. I hope we see you at the wedding. I’ll see you again soon!”

The doctor did not return the sentiments. He couldn’t stand to. “Good bye,” he said curtly.

“Good bye,” she replied. She gave a little wave and rushed away as quickly as she had appeared.

Umeda’s legs trembled as he tried not to collapse to the pavement. Fuck, why had he run in her!? Was he being tortured or punished for some wrong he had committed? This was to much painful irony for him to handle. He was closer to a break down in this one moment then he had been after Ryoichi walked out on him. Maybe because he’d finally seen the proof of Ryoichi’s words. It was finally sinking in that there was no hope that his best friend had ever loved or wanted him. Ryoichi had proposed to an oblivious, chatterbox over being with Umeda. The doctor was certain any second he was either going to burst into tears, hyperventilate, or be violently ill.

He refused to give into any of these urges. What he needed was a drink. Or several. In fact, he needed to get shit faced. And fast. That sounded like an awesome idea.

He looked around frantically for a bar. He spotted a sign for one only a block away. His feet were moving before his brain finished processing the information. He nearly ran to it. He staggered into the bar, barely taking in the interior or its other customers. He dragged himself to a stool at the bar. The bartender must have recognized the look on his face, because he hurried over.

“Whiskey,” he rasped.

It didn’t take long for him to be drunk out of his mind. And God, it was so great. As the hours passed into evening, he showed no signs of slowing down his alcohol intake. He was smart enough not to poison himself with booze. He sat at the bar, watched the tv, and when he began to sober up some he ordered another drink. He couldn’t take being sober right now. He made sure to let the buzz dissipate a little before slamming down a few more shots. He did this with such precision that the bartender couldn’t help being impressed.

It was somewhere around his fourth hour of being in the bar that his cell phone rang. He fumbled through his pockets and managed to open it with some difficulty. He had no idea why he answered. He regretted it when he did.

“Umeda-sempai!” Akiha’s voice grated in his ear.

Hang up! Hang up!! His brain cried but his fingers were to slow to cooperate.

“What!?” he barked.

Akiha whined. “Ahhhh, sempai! Why so mean?”

“Fuck,” Umeda growled before swallowing down another shot and slamming the glass down.

The photographer was quiet for a moment. “Where are you?”

“Not near you,” he snipped.

“Are you drinking?”

“Yes, I am. And you’re killing my buzz. What do you want?” Umeda snapped.

“I have the second packet of photos you wanted for your article. Where are you?”

The doctor scowled. “In a bar.”

“Obviously. Which one?”

“Fuck, I dunno. I just wondered in here off Main St.,” Umeda replied. His eyes drifted back to the news banner scrolling across the screen of the tv. His vision blurred for a moment. “Shit,” he rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Umeda-sempai, stay there. I’m gonna come get you,” Akiha said firmly.

“I can walk,” he growled.

Akiha snorted. “Not like that you aren’t. Don’t you dare move until I get there.”

Umeda blinked at the sudden sternness in the younger man’s voice. He felt just a touch of respect creep in for Akiha. “Fine. But I won’t wait around forever.”

“I’ll be there as quickly as I can. Don’t leave,” the photographer reiterated before hanging up.

The doctor clicked the phone shut and looked down at it in amazement. After considering a second, he decided waiting for Akiha was for the best. He really did know better than to try to walk anywhere in this state. He was a doctor for God’s sake. He had planned on taking a taxi home. Oh well, he shrugged, let Akiha come play the white knight. What did he care?

He could feel his buzz slipping away and called for another shot.

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

Akiha found the bar mostly by luck. He’d only had a vague idea of where Umeda might be, but urgency and worry had somehow focused him here. It was like Umeda-sempai radar. That made him smile just a little. He walked through the door of the bar, letting his eyes immediately scan for the doctor. Umeda wasn’t hard to miss. Not only was he sitting at the bar, but his beautiful face made him stand out like a beacon. The rest of the customers (most of which were female) seemed arrayed about the place in a way that kept him within their sights. It was quite funny, but Akiha was sure Umeda hadn’t even noticed. He stopped watching, like everyone else, and walked over to the doctor.

“What happened?” Akiha asked as he sat down next to the doctor. He reached out to steady Umeda as he swayed groggily. He waved the bar tender over. “Can I get a glass of water?”

The bar tender nodded and swiftly set a tall glass of icy water in front of him. Akiha pushed the glass of water in front of the doctor.

The doctor looked over at him in surprise and swallowed roughly like he was trying not to be ill. “I saw Nakamura Haruna today. You know, Ryoichi’s future wife. She was so goddamn happy. So utterly fucking clueless. I hated her, Akiha. I wanted to scream at her. Even thought about choking her.”

The photographer kept his hand firmly on his love’s shoulder. He stayed silent as Umeda continued to rant.

“She kept chattering! On and on...about Ryoichi this and that. How all three of us should get together. That I should come to the wedding. Oh God,” he gripped the bar counter. He turned his head much to quickly and swayed. The world seemed to spin for a moment. “She said he got defensive when she joked about me and Ryoichi having an affair.”

Akiha flinched. Poor, poor Umeda. “Drink this,” he said gently, pushing the glass closer to the distraught doctor. Umeda grabbed it and chugged half of it down.

“100 straight he told her!” Umeda laughed slightly hysterical. The urge to cry was riding in his throat, choking him. “100! What would she have done if I told her he slept with me? That for one night, Ryoichi fucked my brains out and played gay.” The doctor let out a noise that sounded like a strangled sob.

The photographer rubbed Umeda’s shoulder and back soothingly. He almost jumped backwards in surprise when the doctor slumped sideways against him. He sat frozen for a moment as Umeda buried the side of his face against Akiha’s shoulder.

“I hated her,” Umeda whispered. “I couldn’t help it. What the hell does he see in her? Why is she better than me? Because she’s a girl? Is loving a guy that disgusting?”

“No, it’s not,” Akiha murmured, as he slipped his arm around Umeda’s back. “I love you.”

Umeda shook his head in denial. He made another soft choking sob that broke the photographer’s heart.

“You can cry if you need to,” Akiha said.

The doctor hunched his shoulders. “I’m not going to cry. I won’t. Not over him. Not because of that bastard.”

Akiha frowned. Umeda was obviously not ready to let go and move on yet. “Come on,” he said. “I’m taking you home.”

And for once, Umeda didn’t argue. He was actually surprised at how easily the doctor gave in as Akiha pulled him to his feet.

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

The ride to Umeda’s apartment building seemed to take much longer than it really did. Maybe it was because the doctor remained silent the entire ride, despite Akiha’s attempts to lighten his love’s mood. When they arrived, Umeda lead the way in. He acted a little more like his usual self when he argued that Akiha did not need to follow him up. But the photographer persisted. He wouldn’t be happy until he was sure Umeda had made it safely inside his apartment. The doctor was more wasted then he was willing to admit. Anyone could see it in the way he walked and the less eloquent way in which he spoke. Akiha would leave as soon as the doctor was safely in his apartment.

They rode the elevator upward, still in complete silence. Akiha kept a subtle hold of Umeda’s upper arm as the doctor swayed. He was a little surprised Umeda hadn’t tried once to brush off the contact. In fact, he seemed perfectly fine with it. He actually leaned into the photographer, whether inadvertent or not, Akiha was quite pleased. The elevator dinged as it got to Umeda’s floor and the doors swung open slowly. The photographer followed Umeda down the hall towards his door, still keeping ahold of the doctor’s arm. Umeda fumbled in his pockets for his keys. He found them finally and managed to get the right one into the lock after two tries. The doctor leaned against the door with a sigh before turning around to face Akiha.

“Thanks,” he said awkwardly. He knew it wasn’t nearly enough gratitude for everything the photographer had done for him that night. But he felt to out of sorts and oddly bashful from the kind, yet firm way with which Akiha had helped him. He forced himself to look up into the photographer’s eyes.

Akiha smiled at the doctor’s look. He had never seen Umeda look shy before and it looked quite cute on him. With his hair a little mussed, cheeks red from liquor, and eyes bright from unshed tears, Umeda looked like a sad, yet beautiful puppy. The photographer found the urge to kiss him and hold him almost overwhelming. His fingers tightened their hold on Umeda’s sleeve. Before he knew it he was in motion.

Akiha leaned forward waiting for Umeda to shove him back or turn away like he had done every time before this one. He didn’t know why he tried now. He knew he should give up on the doctor, but in his heart Umeda would still haunt him. So it was a complete shock when the doctor didn’t move until suddenly Akiha’s lips were on his. They both stood there immobile for a moment. Akiha was to shocked for a second to do more than merely press his lips to Umeda’s. Then suddenly everything clicked and the photographer’s mind jump started back to life. Here he was standing in the hallway of Umeda’s apartment building, kissing the man he loved for the first time in his life, and Umeda wasn’t resisting!

His arms came up quickly to draw the doctor in close before he decided to back away. Umeda came willingly until their bodies were pressed tight against each other. Umeda seemed to fit into him so perfectly. All their angles, curves, and hard places seemed to lock as completely as a finally solved puzzle. Akiha carefully tilted the doctor’s head up and deepened the kiss. God, it felt wonderful to finally be able to kiss Umeda. His lips were as soft as he’d always imagined. Then he noticed something through his delighted surprise.

Umeda was not kissing back.

Akiha pulled back abruptly to look down at the doctor. Umeda was staring at him with a look of disbelief. Akiha had no idea what to think. He wondered if he’d done something wrong or he’d pushed to far to fast. What was wrong? Why was Umeda staring at him like that?

“Umeda-sempai?” he whispered worriedly.

Umeda swallowed hard before answering. “What?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

There was a brief silence before Umeda blinked and seemed to come out of the daze he had been in. “No,” he replied quietly.

“Then what happened?” Akiha asked tentatively.

“I dunno,” Umeda answered. But he did really and it was so hard for him to find the right words to say it. Especially with his brain fuzzed over by alcohol.

Akiha shook his head. “Sempai...”

“I just-,” Umeda murmured, trying to find the words to say what he meant. Usually he didn’t have a problem with articulating. This, he knew, could potentially lead into unknown territory. “No one’s ever kissed me like that.”

The photographer stared in shock. “Like how?” he couldn’t help but ask. What had he done differently? “Was it bad?”

Umeda shook his head. “No. I never tasted that kinda passion before.” He cringed as soon as he said it. That was so damn corny. That definitely didn’t come out the way he had wanted it to.

Akiha stood there for a moment, trying to take in the words the doctor had just said. Then he began to chuckle quietly. He dropped his head so Umeda wouldn’t see the happy tears in his eyes. It was almost to much to hope that he might be finally getting through to the doctor. He’d waited so long for Umeda to even look at him for real.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Umeda growled in annoyance.

“That was so lame,” Akiha couldn’t help but laugh out right. He was so happy and his heart was so hopeful. He couldn’t stop laughing. He had to smile.

Umeda flushed in agitation. “Shut up. If I wasn’t drunk I wouldn’t have been spouting those nauseatingly romantic lines. ”

“Sempai?”

“What?”

Akiha looked at him earnestly. “Can I kiss you again?”

Umeda swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

The photographer didn’t hesitate a moment longer. He leaned forward to capture the doctor’s lips once more in a deeper, more passionate kiss. God, he loved the feel of those lips. He thought he would fall to pieces when Umeda reached up to thread his fingers through the fine hairs on the back of his neck. Then Umeda was kissing back with a wild sort of abandon that spoke volumes on the loneliness, desperation, and sorrow in the doctor’s heart. It was to much for Akiha. It was enough to make his heart break. All he could do was fall into the kiss, pouring all of his love and passion back into the doctor. His arms came up to pull the doctor in close, tight against his chest.

When at last the need for air demanded they part, Umeda did not pull away as Akiha thought he might have. Instead, the doctor turned his head to hide his face against the younger man’s neck. He took in a deep shuddering breath. His fingers absently caressed the soft skin of Akiha’s neck, sending shockwaves of pleasure down the photographer’s spin. Umeda pulled back to smile whimsically at him. It had to be one of the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen.

That’s when reality set in like a whale falling into a bucket. Akiha realized he could have Umeda any way he wanted right now. The doctor was beyond drunk and was an emotional wreck. He was more vulnerable then Akiha had ever seen. He was unresisting because all he wanted was to be close to someone. It would be so easy to talk Umeda right out of his clothes and into bed. The photographer swallowed hard as he stared down at Umeda’s glazed over eyes. It wouldn’t be what Akiha wanted. He wouldn’t take Umeda that way. He wanted sex as bad as anyone but he wanted the doctor’s heart even more. Capitalizing on his love’s vulnerability would never gain him the love and trust he desired. He would only become truly hated.

He tightened his arms around Umeda, holding the doctor close like he’d never been able to. He took a deep, shuddery breath as their bodies melted perfectly against each other. It was hard not to do anything as Umeda returned the embrace. They stood together like that for as long as Akiha could bear. He pulled back gently, pushing Umeda back slowly until they were an arm’s length apart. He almost changed his mind when the doctor gave him the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen.

“I’m always gonna be here for you, Umeda-sempai. I love you,” Akiha smiled softly before kissing the doctor one last time. He opened Umeda’s apartment door and steered the doctor through it. “Get some sleep.”

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

Sei watched from the shadows as Akiha leaned down to kiss Umeda. The doctor didn’t shove him away like the kid thought he would. That was surprising. As much as Umeda had yelled at the photographer the one time he’d seen them together, he would have thought the doctor would have reacted violently. But then it was obvious Umeda was smashed out of his mind. So maybe the doctor wasn’t aware enough to really know what was going on. But then Sei felt jealousy surge through him at the look on Umeda’s face when Akiha pulled away. Clearly that kiss had not only been a shock but greatly pleased the doctor. Umeda had never looked at him that way.

He watched them talk for a few moments, debating on whether he should come out or not. He made a decision and began to step out. His feet froze when Akiha kissed the doctor again. This time it was entirely different. It wasn’t just a press of lips like the last one. No this one, the doctor answered to. Sei felt his heart drop into his feet as he watched. There was no denying the kind of magnetic attraction the two had for each other. He could feel it from here and see it in how Umeda responded. The doctor may be in serious denial, but anyone else with a good pair of eyes could see he definitely was attracted to the photographer. He sighed in relief when Akiha drew back once more. Then Umeda smiled.

Beautiful.

Umeda looked so damned beautiful in that one moment as he looked up into Akiha’s eyes. Sei felt a wave of sadness rush over him. He’d never gotten the doctor to smile like that at him. What did it all mean? Was the doctor to blissed out to care who was touching him? Or was it really because of Akiha that Umeda was smiling like that? Either way it hurt to watch it happen.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

He really was starting to fall for Umeda. He shouldn’t care so much. He knew better. But he did care and that scared him. He knew without a doubt that Umeda would never return his feelings. The relationship they had was comfortable and exciting, but it didn’t have a lasting feeling to it. It felt to good to last. Eventually it would run its course in Umeda’s mind and the doctor would dump Sei.

And Sei had a feeling Umeda just realized what the kid had known all along. That Akiha was seriously in love. And that the two had a history and attraction that couldn’t be ignored. Sei was just a vessel for Umeda’s need to escape. It was never meant to be anything else. Sei was the one who’d let himself get swept away. Standing there watching them made him envious. Being with Umeda for a few weeks had made Sei want something with someone that was deeper than just a temporary thing. He wanted something more permanent now. Funny how that man had made him want so much to have what he’d always said he’d never wanted.

He knew it was time to get away. He needed to leave before he got to attached to Umeda. He didn’t want to be hurt in the end. But he’d wait a little longer. He had to make sure Umeda was ready to accept Akiha before he broke it off. He couldn’t leave the doctor high and dry without anyone. It would be needlessly cruel. For now, Umeda still needed him. And Sei wasn’t ready to call it quits just yet.

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

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