We Sleep Forever

AN: This surprisingly, is my favorite chapter so far. Hehe.

Musical Influences: 'Letters From The Sky' by Civil Twilight; 'Red Blooded Woman' by Kylie Minogue; 'Smoke and Mirrors' by Skye Sweetnam; 'Blood on the Dance floor' by Blood on the Dance floor.

Chapter 5 - Powerless

~Mello~

I stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Shucking off my clothing I slid under the burning hot spray of the water letting it scald my skin. I felt so damn disgusting and the feeling wouldn't go away.

This was why I never did those types of jobs anymore. Blood mixed with the clear water and swirled down the drain; my stomach lurched at the sight. I leaned my head on the cool tile and willed the rising bile to go away.

Taking deep breathes I tried to silence my thoughts, to give myself some peace if only for a moment. The instant my eyes slid shut everything replayed like a demented slideshow. With a frustrated cry my fist pounded against the wall.

"Damn it!" the words were chipped and stuck in my throat; I felt dizzy.

My legs buckled and I slid to the shower floor and I allowed myself to hunch over. This was never supposed to happen again, I had gotten out of all this... but due to one case, one fucking case no matter how important it was, I was pulled back into it.

My fingernails bit into the flesh of my thighs and I let out a strangled cry. I had broken my promise with L and I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive myself for it. I couldn’t forgive myself for what I had done, what I had let...

My cell phone went off and I knew it would be Jasper calling to check up on me. He knew I would lose it.

“He knows me too damn well...” I took a deep shuddering breath to calm myself. I could have a breakdown after this case was finished. And only after. Maybe not even then, I still had to find Matt. My heart clenched at the mere thought of him.

I had never regretted something as much as the fight I had with him. He had tried to explain everything and I had shot him down at every turn; I had basically told him I hated him. Over something as completely stupid as him getting first position in Whammys. He could have been there the entire time, but he had held everything back; given up something great just to be my friend and I had thrown it back in his face.

It made me sick every time I thought about those things I had told him. He was my only friend, the only one who would put up with me, the only one who understood me, the only one that I... my cell phone rang again.

Cursing in irritation I pushed the shower curtain back and grabbed the phone off the bathroom counter.

“What?!” I snarled.

“You're doing better than I expected.” Jasper told me in a slightly amused but mostly worried tone.

“I'm not going to slit my wrists if that’s what you are thinking.”

He sighed on the other end. “Must you be so difficult?” I snorted. He had no idea.

“What do you want?” the water was turning cool and I didn’t want to take a cold shower after that. Cold showers didn’t make you clean.

“Just making sure you weren’t having a meltdown, or had at least gotten over it...” I glared at the phone as though it would send my disdain to Jasper.

“Well I’m obviously fine, and my shower is loosing its warmth, so I’m ending this call.” I heard him mutter a small whatever as I ended the call before turning off my cell phone. I didn’t want any more distractions.

After that I concentrated on furiously scrubbing my skin and hair clean of any filth still remaining after my long sit in the hot water. Once my body was rubbed raw and I was satisfied with everything I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower.

Shaking my head in irritation I flung open the bathroom door and stalked into my bedroom to change as I hadn’t brought anything in with me. While lacing up my leather pants I glanced at the clock. 5:53 pm. I had been in the shower for a little over an hour. No wonder the water had gone cold towards the very end.

My stomach grumbled in hunger but the though of actually eating something made me queasy. Still, I made my way into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Cringing at the foods that were available I settled on a bar of dark chocolate.

I had lived off of them before and I would do it now if it came to that. Pealing the wrapper back I sank my teeth into the bar and snapped off a piece hoping it wouldn’t make me want to hurl. The moment the rich taste hit my tongue I began to relax.

Exiting the kitchen I walked a few short steps to my laptop that sat on a small coffee table situated in the middle of the living room just in front of a TV and a couch. I hardly ever used the television.

Flopping onto the couch I hit the power button on my laptop and waited for it to turn on. Slowly munching on the chocolate I let my thoughts wander, and regretted it as soon as they wandered to a few hours earlier.

The chocolate in my mouth turned to ash and I set the bar down on the table while forcing myself not to spit out what I already had. With a frown I checked my e-mail and found one new one. Opening it I realized it was from J.

“He certainly works quickly.” I scanned the contents of the document and was pleased that he had come to some of the same conclusions as I had. Obviously not all of them as he didn’t know what Whammys was truly for.

He was currently searching for any new leads. That reminded me of the package that was waiting for me on the table. I had received it earlier but hadn’t gotten a chance to actually look at it due to business....

Tearing open the packing tape I slid out the disk and popped it into my laptop rom drive. Clicking on open the footage immediately began to play. Leaning foreword I adjusted the sound to my headphones so that it was the only thing I could hear.

For a few minutes it was only Daniel Loges working at his desk and talking on the phone. The moment he set his phone down however a loud creak made him look up with surprise. It was past working hours so no one else should have been there.

I watched as a tall man in a business suit walked up to Daniel and pulled out a gun. My eyebrows raised; that was bold of him.

“What do you know about Whammys, the orphanage you have dealings with?” the voice sounded computerized and I knew that even if I analyzed it I would come up empty handed.

“What do you mean? It's just an orphanage!” Daniel's voice trembled yet his expression remained firm. Sigh. “That was the wrong answer.” bang bang bang.

Daniel was the third victim and he was shot three times in the head. The man took something out of his suit pocket and placed it underneath Daniels hand; it was the letter. The man then turned and looked directly at the security camera. His face was covered by a mask of an angry smiley. He raised his hand and made it like a gun.

“Bang. You're next detective.” my blood ran cold. There was no doubt now that this was meant for L, for no one knew of his successors. Or at least no one was supposed to.

Running a hand through my wet hair I stared at the screen in contempt. What would I do now? I had evidence that would prove useful, even if only in a slight way, but should I show it to J?

It would undoubtedly raise questions about Whammys that I didn’t want J thinking about.

“Fuck.” I shouted into the empty room. Why did everything concerning this case have to be so damn difficult? Deciding it was easier to just decide in the morning I pocketed my phone and after grabbing my keys left the apartment. I just needed to drive.

I ended up at a nightclub called 'Fallen Angel'; it was one I frequented years ago... the bouncer at the door nodded to me and let me in, apparently my face was still well known.

The moment I stepped inside my ears were assaulted with the deep base of a gothic sounding techno song that I might have known the words to if I could actually hear the words. Bodies swayed and clung to one another on the dance floor in a shapeless mass and multicolored lights flickered on and off to the beat.

Making my way down the steps I waded through the mess of people until I reached the bar and was able to sit down. Ordering a shot of whiskey and a beer I glanced inconspicuously at the people gathered near me.

So far none of them were anyone I knew or could get information out of.

Gulping down the whiskey I slammed the glass on the counter and turned my attention elsewhere. Taking a swig of beer I saw a familiar face and waved them over. The man walked over to me, his grin wide and filled with desire, I hated him.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” he laughed as he eyed me up and down with a neatly raised eyebrow.

“Hello Dom.” Dom always said his name was short for something else, but had never revealed what it was, most likely Dominic.

“I take it that you aren't here for social visits or nostalgia?” he said while sliding onto the stool beside me.

“No.”

“Hm. Then I might have something for you.” I sipped lightly at my beer and pretended not to be interested, he always loved to play games with people, but if he was serious about what he was saying he would be persistent.

“Now don't give me the cold shoulder. I really do have something you might like to hear.” I rolled my eyes.

“And what might that be?” he touched my arm and I stared at him.

“I want something out of it.” snorting I went back to my beer.

“Of course you do.” he ordered a martini before restarting the conversation.

“Alright I’ll tell you, but if you find this information useful you know what I want.” this had my attention; he usually wouldn’t tell what he knew upfront, so that made me curious.

“Fine.” he grinned and leaned in close; his breath tickled my neck as he spoke into my ear.

“Someone is looking for you.”

“What do you mean?” I hissed to him. “Well two different someone’s actually.” he thanked the bartender for his drink and took a small sip before continuing.

“You have recently begun working on a new case haven’t you?” he questioned me. I nodded; it was no secret to my contacts so I knew it would have been leaked. “Well lately someone, I don’t know who, has been asking many interesting questions about you. And asking about Whammys, whatever that is.” my mouth went dry.

“Whammys?” I asked in disbelief. “Yeah, is it something important?” I shook my head and kept my face blank.

“Just not something I’d expect anyone to ask about.” my hands shook around the beer bottle and I had to force myself to act normally.

“If anyone knows where you stay I’d suggest that you pack up and leave soon, this mystery person seems to have it in for you. As for the other one, it’s just a rumor, but it seems that someone I trying to find out all they can about your time in the mafia.” it felt like I had swallowed a block of ice and I thought back to the surveillance video.

Perhaps the man hadn’t been talking about L at all, but if not, then why me? It didn’t make sense, so it had to be someone I used to work with or someone who had a grudge against me. There was no way to tell and the list for both was a mile long. As if that wasn’t bad enough someone was digging around in my mafia roots, that had me more on edge than the possible threat to my life.

“I know this is good intel so I expect you to pay up.” he slapped a few dollars onto the table and walked off into the crowd but I knew exactly where he was going. Fingering my rosary and sending out a silent prayer I left money on the counter and followed him.

The moment I walked through the doorway I was slammed into the wall and kisses were trailed along my neck and jaw line. One hand began to unlace my leather pants and the other turned the lock on the bathroom door.

I shivered at the coolness that hit my bare legs but didn’t have time to think as I was spun around and bent over the sink. Two fingers entered me and I groaned.

“You can't tell me you haven't missed this.” Dom whispered into my ear as he added a third finger. “Yes.” Yes I can tell you I didn’t miss this. In fact I was happy to leave it all behind me.

He removed his fingers and nudged my entrance with something far larger. There would be no pleasure in this for me merely a form of payment, a service if you will, for the given information.

My hips jerked foreword as he thrust into me, I was unable to hold back a cry of pain. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything else.

“Hmm. God you are tight.” I wasn’t sure how after what had occurred earlier today but I wasn’t going to comment on it.

One of his hands slid down to my hips and held them in place as he fucked me while the other hand went to my vest and unzipped it. I hissed as a nipple was pinched but managed not to make any other sounds; the blood running down my split lip attested to it.

His teeth ghosted over the flesh of my neck before he bit down hard enough to leave a mark.

“Ah fuck!” I swore I would kill him for this. Promises be damned he was going to die for marking me. There was only one person I wanted to do that, and that most certainly was not him. His thrusts were quicker and lacked pace, he was close.

I grit my teeth as he kissed along my back; my hands gripped the counter tightly. With a grunt I could feel as the warm liquid of his orgasm filled me and was wholly disgusted by it.

After a few more short trusts he pulled out of me and stepped away with a grin.

“You haven’t changed. You still don’t get hard from this.”

I narrowed my eyes at him but he was already replacing his lost clothing. Pulling my pants back up I took the gun out of my pocket and stared at it for a moment.

“Hey Dom?” I questioned emotionlessly.

“Yeah?” I turned to face him.

“Didn’t I tell you before that no one is allowed to mark me?” I cocked my head to the side. He smirked; he obviously hadn’t seen the gun yet.

“That was then.” he said with a shrug. I laughed harshly.

“And this is now, right?” I finished for him.

“Dom.” he looked at me as I said his name in a tone I hadn’t used in a very long time.

“I believe that now, you have outlived your potential usefulness.” I smirked cruelly as his eyes widened. I aimed the gun and put a bullet through his head. His brains plastered across the bathroom walls and his body fell to the floor in a heap.

I looked at the smoking gun in my hand. This was exactly why L had made me promise two different things. I had already broken one of them today, so doing it twice was not weighing as heavily on my consciousness as it should have been, and now I had broken the other.

Maybe I was numb, in shock maybe, but I didn’t feel a damn thing about my current situation. I grimaced as I felt something sticky slide down my leg; there was no way I was doing anything else until I had showered again. Shoving the gun into the front of my pants, and fixing my vest and jacket, I unlocked the bathroom door and walked out.

The rest of the night was a blur to me, I didn’t remember getting home, showering or even going to bed. And I certainly didn’t remember the two bottles of whiskey I had downed. Not until I had woken up with the sun shining in my eyes and pain exploding in my skull.

Rolling onto my side my head pounded. Squinting I was able to read the time on the digital clock. 9:45 am. I groaned and sat up but regretted it when my sore body protested.

Standing sluggishly I wandered into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee before showering again. Once I was done I sat at my small kitchen table, hair wet, and a cup of coffee in front of me.

Ripping open a bar of chocolate I dumped it into the coffee before taking a sip. Perfect. I was only halfway done with my breakfast when my cell phone rang. I didn’t even know I had it turned on again. Seeing the number I picked it up.

“What?” Jasper snorted on the other line.

“Are you ever going to greet me with something different?” I thought about it for a moment.

“No. What did you call for? Anything new?”

“Have you eaten anything today, or even yesterday?” my stomach rolled mutinously at the mention of food and I had to force myself not to gag.

“I'm eating right now.” I replied testily.

“Chocolate doesn’t count. Have you eaten any real food?” Jasper stressed the word 'real' and I bit my lip.

“And don't lie to me or I won’t help you next time.” I closed my eyes.

“No.” I heard the quiet sigh he gave.

“You can’t go back to that. Not after all this time.” I narrowed my eyes.

“And you think I like doing this? Like feeling like this?!” I shouted into the phone.

“I can remember every fucking detail and I relive it every time I close my eyes, every time my mind isn’t completely occupied so forgive me if I can’t stomach anything.” I snarled into the phone before ending the conversation with a snap of the phone.

I picked up a glass that had been sitting on the counter and hurled it at the wall and watched in satisfaction as it shattered into thousands of minuscule pieces. The phone buzzed silently in my hand and I glared at it. But upon seeing the name I answered it.

“Yeah?”

“There has been another murder.” J's distorted voice spoke quietly over the speaker.

“When?” and why the hell hadn’t I heard about it?

“A little over thirty minutes ago. Samantha Bustler, CEO of Command Electronics.” Command Electronics? I thought back to the information I had gathered and they were a large donator of Whammys electronic equipment.

“Any other letters found?” I asked.

“Yes, just one as always. An 'S'.” the killer, though I suppose he could b getting help, was getting closer and closer to spelling Whammys, only two more letters. And I knew we couldn’t let it get that far, it had already gone on for too long.

“Have you sent anyone to the scene?” there was a short moment of silence before he stated 'No'.

“I'm going to head over there then, there might be clues. Doubtful but it’s worth a shot.” Of course knowing that the killer was a male was a clue, as well as the footage, but I decided that it was best if he didn’t view the recording.

“Head over here first and I will have Miranda as well as someone else go with you. They are both rather observant despite how they may otherwise seem.” I rolled my eyes. I was getting two tag-a-longs that I didn’t need. I immediately shook the thought, it couldn’t hurt to have two extra sets of eyes, and I had asked for his help. Though it did seem eerily similar to how L worked.

“Alright I’ll leave now; I should be there in under an hour.” J said no more and I let the call drop. I threw a black jacket on and placed my phone in one of the unzipped pockets and after making sure the gun was still resting in the front of my pants, like it could really go anywhere,

I grabbed my keys and left the apartment.

The temperature outside had dropped significantly since the night before and with the wind it chilled me to the bones. Shivering, I hopped on my bike and began the long drive back to J's apartment.

Once there I ran up the steps and into apartment 313 as quickly as I could, mainly because of the temperature but I also didn’t want to linger around the smell of piss and rotting flesh for too long either.

The door was unlocked just like last time so I was able to walk right in. One would think that someone like J would be a little paranoid about his security, or at least lock the door out of habit. Miranda was waiting for me on the main couch and seemed to be in a one-sided conversation with the hazel eyed man from the other day. Was he the other one J spoke of?

“Ah, Mr. Keen. Perfect timing. Are you ready to go?” Miranda asked while getting up. I shrugged.

“And call me Michael, not Mr. Keen. I'm not that old.” the redhead looked flustered at that and stammered out something I didn’t quite catch. I raised an eyebrow, what was up with her? The hazel eyed man stood up as well.

“I'm Emerson. I'll also be going with you today.” he had a slightly slouched stance that seemed familiar to me though I couldn’t place it as it looked odd on him.

“Well, lets go, we are burning daylight here.” Miranda mumbled with her head turned away from the both of us.

“I already have my keys so let’s go.” Emerson said while walking to the door.

“I assume I’m going to follow you?” I said as we left the apartment I had only just gotten to. Emerson turned to me with amusement in his eyes.

“Actually no.” I stared at him with a look that clearly said explain.

“We're taking my car.” he said while pointing to an old beat up looking 1970's Camaro that was littered with what looked like bullet holes. Just perfect.

-End Chapter 5-

AN: Yay, we finally start to skim the details of what Mello's job was, though it really wasn’t all that hard to figure out.