End Transmission

AN: I rather like the interactions between Matt and Mello in this chapter...

Suggested Listening: Pain of Love by Tokio Hotel

Chapter Five: Comfort

He watched as Mello's eyes opened and the initial blurriness shook off and a look of understanding and grief took over. The blond sighed heavily and hid his face in the blankets. Matt let him have his moment to collect his thoughts but didn't get up or move away.

The fact that Mello hadn't either spoke volumes.

Matt wondered why he wasn't feeling at least some of what the blond was. Perhaps it had simply been too long since his parent's death for him to do much more than shed a few quick tears over it. Mello had only lost his family just over half a year ago. That wasn't that long of a time.

"Did Near come here last night?" Mello finally asked, voice thick with something similar to defeat. Matt didn't like the tone on him but knew it would be a while before things got better for him.

"Yeah. We'll be meeting again today. We didn't want to talk until you were awake." Mello stilled but eventually took a shaky breath which was accompanied by a mirthless laugh. He mumbled something like 'I suppose I can't hate him anymore, can I?' though the words were obscured so it could have been something else as well.

He decided on the first. "You can. But I doubt it would help the situation much." he poked Mello in the side and watched as the blond picked his head up wearily, but with the slightest twitch of his lips.

"No. I suppose not." Mello's stomach chose that moment to growl painfully and Matt's stomach flopped at the blush that spread across Mello's cheeks. He didn't know quite what to make of the awkward feeling so he simply smiled at his friend.

"Neither of us ate dinner yesterday, so we should eat something. That and we need to make an appearance... they will start to get suspicious otherwise and we really don't need that at the moment." especially as we don't have a clue as to what to do, Matt added to himself silently.

The slight amusement left Mello's eyes and though Matt felt bad he knew they couldn't afford to miss another meal. Both for the sake of appearances and the fact that they needed to eat.

Mello slid from the bed and Matt wondered what, if anything, he could do to rid the blond of the slumped look to his shoulders. His eyes slid away from Mello as the elder boy began to strip his clothing, which reminded Matt that he couldn't leave the room in his night clothes.

Though it might have been worth the odd looks if it brought a smile to his friend's lips.

He was back into his customary stripes and had his goggles back in place just as Mello was despondently tugging down a different black shirt. "Matt..." he trailed off.

Matt cocked his head to the side as Mello looked at him but didn't say anything. "I'm sorry I ignored you... I just got so caught up..." Mello turned his gaze away and after a moments hesitation pulled the ruby colored beads out from under his shirt and turned to Matt.

Matt's breath caught at the sight. Mello had never once brought them into view when another person was in the room and Matt was struck with how beautiful the rosary was but also wondered at it.

"It was my mothers." Mello's voice trembled slightly at the end just as his hands shook around his tight grip on the fragile beads. Any wrong movement and Matt thought it might just break the strands holding it together.

He shuffled across the room and encased Mello's hands with his own and smiled. "Then lets make sure you keep it safe." the shaking immediately stopped but Matt attributed that more to shock than anything else. Mello took a deep breath and leaned foreword so that the top of his head touched Matt's chest and the rosary was pulled close to his chest.

Matt hated seeing his friend in such pain.

Mello only seemed to compose himself when the sounds of the other children going to breakfast could be heard from inside their room. Mello pulled away and though his eyes were glossy Matt could tell that no tears had fallen.

The rosary was tucked safely back under Mello's shirt and after fixing a grin to his face Mello strode out of their room and for all appearances was his normal manic self. But he knew that should anyone else truly know him it would be obvious he wasn't alright.

Near would probably be able to tell even if he hadn't been privy to the why.

Matt sat as close to his friend as he could during the meal and despite knowing how bad Mello must feel, couldn't help but be happy that he had his friend back. He wondered how horrible that made him.

All throughout the meal he could feel Near's eyes on them and wondered if Mello's was paying enough attention to notice it as well. He wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't. He hoped that Mello would be alright during their classes and was happy it was almost the weekend.

At least then they would have more time to get together, the three of them that is. It wouldn't be odd for L's top three successors, if they could even be called that anymore, to disappear and go off on their own when classes were out. Matt could at least be thankful for the small things.

Classes seemed to pass more quickly for Matt, who believed it was because he had his full attention on Mello and hadn't given himself anytime for his thoughts to drift to anything else, and so it was a surprise to him once afternoon classes had gotten out.

If asked, he knew he wouldn't have been able to say what had been gone over, or even learned in class. He wondered if Mello or Near would be able to answer it either.

In their room, Matt watched as Mello flopped boneless onto his bed and was silent for a moment. "I just can't like him...despite everything." Mello muttered softly. And Matt didn't need to ask who. "There's just something about him that irritates me!" he said more strongly.

But Matt wondered if Mello was merely trying to keep some semblance of normalcy in the seemingly out of control situation. And after he caught Mello's lingering gaze on his textbooks, despite the blond not making a move to go to them, decided it was true.

Matt knew then, that Mello and Near would eventually get along, if only in secret, he just wasn't sure when that might be. But he wasn't worried. Whether or not it was later rather than sooner didn't matter, because no matter what he knew Mello would work with Near, if only this once.

There would be no more competing for L, it was just something that went unsaid, but that didn't mean their rivalry would just evaporate into thin air. And Matt would have been surprised had Mello said as much.

Though Matt wondered if it wouldn't be better for one of them, or both of them, to become the new L and change things from the inside...

Now however, the blond didn't seem to know what to do with himself now that he wasn't going off about Near or hitting the books. He looked so lost and Matt didn't like it. He wished things could just go back to how they were before Near entered the equation, before he found out what L had done...

There were a lot of things, Matt was beginning to realize, that he didn't like all that much lately. He slid from the edge of his bed and turned on his play station and chose a two player game.

"Mello, play a game with me?" he asked. He knew Mello didn't generally like his games, but Mello needed something to put his mind too, even if it were something he usually thought was mindless.

Mello was silent for so long that Matt's hopes sank until suddenly Mello was sitting next to him on the floor. "Alright." the blond said softly. He took hold of one of the controllers, like he had seen Matt do, and waited.

Matt smiled brightly and Mello gave him a small smile in return.

"We'll play a fighting game. I figured you might enjoy it." and there was no real skill to a fighting game, you just had to be good at button mashing. At least in Matt's opinion.

And Mello, as it turned out, wasn't too bad at that. Or at least at that game. Matt watched, from the corner of his eyes, as Mello threw his entire self into the game. And dare Matt think it, even enjoyed himself too.

Matt knew that he just had to keep Mello occupied until after dinner, which anytime after, Near should be there. But as he saw Mello's purse his lips and hit the buttons harder, he didn't believe it would be a problem.

Maybe Mello really had just needed something to occupy his thoughts, something other than actual thoughts. Matt knew all too well about that...

But whatever the reason, Mello sat and played the game with him for quite some time. Until he had gotten tired of constantly loosing. Though to Mello's credit Matt had actually had to try. After that though, Mello had gone quiet again and the room felt unwelcome, even to Matt who lived in it.

Matt tried not to let it bother him though and sat and played a different game until, continuing it even long after dinner had passed, until around ten, when a soft knock came to the door. Mello was immediately in motion and wrenched the door open to reveal Near, who stood silently in the doorway.

"Get in here!" Mello hissed violently and shoved Near into the room and closed the door quietly even as Near stumbled to regain his balance. Matt sighed and shook his head. He patted the spot of floor next to him and Near sat, though about a foot further from him.

Matt wasn't offended.

Mello sat down, closer to Matt, and crossed his arms bitterly, though he was still silent. Matt guessed he was going to have to be the one to initiate things again. Wasn't that great?

"Before we start, I want to make sure we are all on the same page. Or if either of you wish to correct me it is said now." Mello had nodded to the first part and seemed to ignore the other. It seemed that in Mello's mind there was nothing to correct.

"Matt's information is sound. But perhaps it wasn't L. There is no proof." Near stated. Mello's eyes widened in rage and Matt had to hold him back as he hissed angrily at the small albino child.

"Mello, calm down. Near is right. There is no actual proof that it is L, just someone close to him or someone close to Mr. Wammy." he felt the blond sag in his arms and his head was bowed.

"It doesn't matter! He knows! He has to. He's L. He solves the worlds worst crimes so he would notice this immediately if we did!" Mello growled, and only then did he push himself away from Matt.

"And if he doesn't know?" Near pressed.

"Then he isn't the best! I don't care, I don't want to be him, I don't want to be L! Not now, not ever. Especially if it is him..." Mello's voice had quietened towards the end and Matt itched to comfort him. Though it confused him a little at the same time. Mello was allowing Near to see weakness...

But Mello had also brought about the subject that Matt had wished to put off until later, even as Near agreed with Mello on not wanting to become L any longer. The bonds of family, dead or not, were stronger than the strength of L, it seemed.

"I disagree with you both on this however." Near actually locked gazes with him as Mello practically snapped his neck with the force in which he turned to look at him, betrayal in his eyes.

"I think that one of you, or even both of you, should become L if only to change things from the inside and make sure this doesn't happen ever again." there, he thought, he had said it. The room lapsed into silence and Matt wondered if perhaps, he had missed something. Was his idea really that bad?

Then Near's gaze went back to the small robot he'd brought along and Mello nodded slowly at first but then more vigorously. "That's a good idea." Mello mumbled. "That's a real good idea... we should have thought of it." and Matt knew that he was referring to himself and Near.

"If we had been paying attention like Matt had, then none of this would have come as a shock to us... then we wouldn't have to leave all the work to him..." Mello trailed off. And Matt knew it was the closest Mello would come to admitting that he had been consumed with competition, that he had lost sight of things. But Matt wouldn't fault him, or Near.

"I don't want it Near, you can be L. I'll back off so he'll choose you." Mello stated finally.

"Mello-"

"It's not a good idea." Matt said before Near could protest further. He had seen it in the albino's eyes. Near knew as well why it wasn't a good idea, but Matt knew that it would only irritate Mello that Near had gotten it before him. Matt knew that it had to come from him or Mello's own mind. Because Mello only saw him as a friend and wouldn't mind his intelligence.

"If you suddenly start dropping in your grades it will look funny, and it will bring suspicion onto us, even if only a small amount, as there is no real reason for it." he told the blond, who hung his head again, shoulders slumped.

"Perhaps if Mello's gradually began to slip it would appear that he was cracking under the pressure." Near stated thoughtfully, or at least as thoughtfully as he could sound in his deadpan voice.

"Then L would be more likely to choose you." Mello finished.

"It does not matter who of us he chooses. We will work together regardless." Near stated and Matt could hear the underlying outstretch of friendship. Near, Matt suspected, despite the competition, which may have only been on Mello's side, had always wanted to be Mello's friend but had never known how to ask.

"Yeah, we will." Mello muttered, though from his tone he either hadn't caught Near's silent offer or had chosen to ignore it. Near did not appear affected other than the slightly less fluent actions of his toy.

But it was some sort of progress that Mello was at least willing to cooperate, and Near should at least be happy with that for the moment.

And though they hadn't really decided a lot that night, hadn't really come up with any sort of plan at all, Matt knew that they needed time to digest everything before they pursued anything else.

"Well see you again tomorrow, Near?" Matt asked after a lengthy silence. Near took the question for what it was, a dismissal for the evening, and nodded his head. Matt stood and let him out, locking the door behind him.

Despite the horrible circumstances, he was glad to be interacting with the little albino.

Matt looked over at Mello, still seated on the floor, who had his fists clenched. "I messed up even now that we aren't competing! I can't think as good as him or even you, I'm useless!" Mello growled bitterly. Matt should have known that something was brewing since the moment Near had first corrected Mello that evening; he really shouldn't have been surprised..

He didn't even think about his actions as he crouched beside Mello and enveloped his friend in a hug for the second time in twenty-four hours. "You're not useless, you are just overwhelmed with your emotions at the moment. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Near has set his aside, or pushed them to the back of his mind for the moment." he murmured.

"Then maybe I should act more like Near!" Mello shouted and tried to wiggle out of Matt's grasp.

"No." he told Mello firmly and tightened his grip on the blond. "I don't want you to act like Near because I like you as Mello. Because you are my friend." Mello stopped fighting and Matt felt his friend trembling and felt the fingers that gripped weakly at the fabric of his shirt.

Mello may have been emotional, but that was what made Mello who he was. And Matt didn't ever want him to change. He had made Matt interested in the world again, not Near. But he didn't say those things to the blond.

He knew that it would probably be one of the last few times Mello let himself break before he pulled himself back together, and in a way Matt was sad. He didn't like to see Mello in pain, but he liked to know that he could help. When Mello was back to normal he knew it would be almost impossible for him to help simply because Mello wouldn't let him.

But as long as Mello didn't let himself get overwhelmed then it was alright.

"Sorry Matt..." Mello told him tiredly. He made a small shushing noise and felt Mello relax more in his grip. Mello would be stronger tomorrow, but Matt knew it was important for him to just let it be for now.

And Mello did too since he didn't apologize or attempt to move again.

Matt wasn't sure where exactly the new path they had chosen would take them, Near included, but it didn't matter, not really.

Because even if Mello told him to leave and never come back, he would still be standing beside his friend, always.

-End Comfort-

AN: Yay for emo Mello? Idk, I think it's cute... I doubt that Mello would have been able to keep himself together in these circumstances... but I don't think he'd get weepy every five seconds either.. idk, maybe its just me?

What do you think?