So You're Not Surprised

Making up?

Ryo and Dee had decided to meet at Dee’s after work. Dee was on the phone placing an order for Chinese when he let Ryo in the door. Ryo took off his coat and went to sit on the couch while Dee finished the call.

“I ordered some egg drop soup, since it’s getting a little chilly outside.” Ryo nodded and Dee turned to the fridge. “Beer, wine, soda . . .” Dee let the question hang.

“Beer will be fine.” Ryo glanced around the apartment, taking in the different magazines, books and junk mail lying around on tabletops. Dee handed him a bottle and sat down on the couch beside him. Ryo noticed the tension in the air as silence filled the room, but was at a lose for how to begin. It was his fault; he knew he should start. Taking a deep breath, Ryo steeled himself to talk. “Dee, I . . . I’m sorry for not talking, not being able to talk, but if it helps, it’s not just you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ryo looked up at Dee in confusion. “Elena told me you won’t talk to her either.”

“Elena?” The confusion in Ryo’s voice was evident. “When did you talk to Elena?” Ryo’s voice held an edge at the last of the question, as his brain snapped into place that they had been talking about him.

“Yesterday – after I saw you at the diner. She was the friend I was meeting.” Dee almost winced at the glare coming from Ryo.

“Oh, so the two of you decide to get together to talk about what to do about me?” Ryo’s voice was cold.

“No, it wasn’t like that, just listen to the whole story before you tear my head off, okay.” Ryo only raised that one damn infuriating eyebrow. So Dee took a breath to spill the whole story. “Look, this meeting was planned a while ago, in fact the day you had lunch with her to tell her about us was the day she called.”

“My aunt just called out of the blue to meet with you?” Sarcasm dripped in Ryo’s voice.

“Just listen will ya. She called right after your lunch. Before you got to the station. She,” Dee took a deep breath, “wanted to find something that they took into evidence of your dad’s. She wanted to surprise you.” Ryo got up from the couch and moved to stand in front of the window seat. Dee began to talk faster, wanting to get it all out before Ryo exploded. “Diana helped arranged getting us in to look at the evidence, all of it is down at 1PP since the majority of the murders took place in Manhattan. Elena met me there and I helped her look. She didn’t tell me why she was looking for it. Only why she came to me. That you wouldn’t talk about your parents death or any thing surrounding it. That you wouldn’t go and reclaim the evidence. She’s worried you never will.” Dee seemed to run out of steam. He took a breath and tried to gauge Ryo’s reaction.

Ryo was still, very still. Not a good sign for Dee. “So you and my aunt took it upon yourselves to go through my father’s things.” Ryo’s voice broke at the thought of his father despite the hardness it started out with. A short pause brought the cold edge back. “Behind my back to talk about what? How to fix me? I’m some broken thing you all need to fix?”

“No” Dee looked up in confusion wonder where that idea had come from. “She asked for my help. I helped her. We did talk about you because we love you, dumb ass. We both want for you to let us in. I want for you to let me in.” Dee stopped himself to take a breath, his anger was getting the better of him and he tried to gain some control. “Talk to me.” The plea was evident in his voice.

Dee waited but ended up only with silence. ‘Great, we get together to try to work on things and it ends up getting worse.’ Dee pushed that thought away. They would make it through this. Dee pushed his hand through his hair, as his muscles tensed with the lingering silence. ‘God damn it’. Dee snapped.

“Look, you got that damn stubbornness from somewhere. I want to know where. You got that volatile temper from somewhere, and I want to know that too.

“Your parents weren’t perfect. No one is. But it’s those imperfections that made you. I want to know about them.

“You know how much of a half ass cop Jesse was. But that made me who I am today. You and Mother see to it that I don’t forget that often enough. If you had a problem with your parents I want to help you see that, too. But I want to hear it from you. Not Rose, not Elena, you.

“God damn it, Ryo, you once told me you wanted to know everything about me. Why can’t I find out everything about you?” Dee finally paused.

Ryo was still too angry at Dee and Elena’s interference to let it go, even if Dee’s word were making sense. He still felt too much of the haze of fury that wouldn’t allow him access to any other thought or emotion. Still wrapped in that haze, Ryo lashed out. “Fine, you want to know about my parents. My Dad would have hated you.” Between the word hate and the venom in Ryo’s voice, Dee looked startled. “He would have hated you and me.” Ryo looked down at the floor, not wanting to see any pain in Dee’s face. “He would have disowned me . . .” Ryo couldn’t finish, so he dug back into his anger. “Isn’t that what you wanted to hear. My Dad hated fags, gays, homos. And that would include us. Does that make you feel better, Dee?” Ryo turned away. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Dee. He didn’t want to feel the pain in his chest. And so help him if Dee tried to say he could be wrong like Elena and Rick had, he’d swear he’d flip him on his ass.

“Okay,” the word came from Dee hesitantly. “Yeah, I guess that does make me feel better.” Ryo spun to stare at Dee, his face showing his bewilderment. Dee looked calm. “I mean, I don’t feel like jumping up and down for joy or anything. But a least now I understand why you’re hesitant to talk about them. Like I said, it makes you who you are and I love you.” Dee took a few tentative steps closer to Ryo. “I’m sorry he felt that way and that you know he felt that way.”

Ryo closed his eyes to try to hold back tears. He felt Dee next to him but remained frozen until Dee’s arms went around him. Dee sighed in relief as Ryo leaned into him. “Now that was only one part of your dad, so tell me something else about him . . . like did you learn that glare of death from him?” Dee’s voice was tight with control, trying hard to sound casual.

After a deep breath Ryo finally melted into Dee more. “That was my Mom actually. Dad was completely whipped by her.” He smiled slightly as he heard Dee chuckle.

“So if we all try to find our moms in relationships then you’re wanting to be whipped by me.” Hearing the warmth in Dee’s voice, Ryo mentally laughed at that thought.

“You wish, Laytner” Ryo snapped back and chuckled lightly enjoying the feel of Dee’s body shaking with laughter as well.

Ryo pulled back to look at Dee’s face. “I’m sorry Dee. It’s just hurts.”

“Hey I’m sorry I rushed you. I know you. It takes you years to work things out.” Dee eyes twinkled with mischief as he dragged out the word years.

Ryo rolled his eyes, but didn’t comment. It was too close to the truth. “I think I got that from my mom as well.” Ryo leaned back into Dee, placing his head on Dee’s shoulder.

“So all your bad traits come from your Mom,” Dee countered.

Ryo chuckled, thinking about how Elena would have agreed with that. “Except my temper. That’s pure MacLean.” After a brief smile, Ryo pulled away from Dee. “Thank you”

Dee leaned down for a kiss, soft and gentle. “Thank you for sharing, for being you and for loving me.” Dee kissed Ryo again, his lips becoming more insistent. Ryo grabbed onto Dee’s shoulders to keep upright, and felt Dee give a little bit.

“Perhaps we should move to the bedroom.” Ryo’s voice was rasping with breaths.

“Thank God for make-up sex.” Dee mumbled before moving his lips down to Ryo’s neck as Ryo tried to guide their bodies to a soft place to collapse.

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“So what did Elena take?” Ryo hesitance was obvious in his voice. He buried his head against Dee’s shoulder to avoid his gaze, hoping to make hearing the answer easier.

“She was looking for your Dad’s journal or something. I didn’t ask for details.” Dee tried to rub away the tension that he felt in Ryo’s shoulders.

“Journals? Huh – I didn’t know Dad kept a journal. I know Mom did but the cops didn’t . . .” Ryo’s voice dropped and Dee tightened his arm around Ryo. Part of Dee wanted to try to get Ryo to continue, but that would come with time. At least he was starting to talk. Dee kissed the top of the chestnut hair lying against his shoulder.

Dee leaned back against the pillows, enjoying the comforting silence, as Elena popped into his head. “Hey, go easy on Elena, okay – she just cares about you”

Ryo leaned up on his forearms to look up. When Dee’s hand moved his hair out of his face, he smiled slightly. “Look, part of me is still mad about you and her meeting behind my back.” Ryo placed a finger on Dee’s lips before he could interrupt. He glanced down at the cover, took a deep breath and looked back into Dee’s gaze. “But I was being a bit of a bastard, so don’t worry, I’ll go easy on her.” Dee leaned over and moved his lips softly against Ryo’s, his lips giving and asking for forgiveness. As Dee pulled back, Ryo sighed and collapsed back to Dee’s chest.

“Your awfully concerned about my aunt.” Ryo emphasized the word my, looking over up at Dee.

“She called me family. I always worry about family.” Ryo smiled at the nonchalance Dee had tried to put into that statement.

“Family huh? It’s a good thing I intend to keep you if everybody else is becoming so attached.” Ryo’s smile grew on his face as he spoke.

Dee just chuckled and replied with a kiss.