Night I Cry, Night I Bleed

~Normal ~

‘I will never know how it happened… But I turned for one second and you appeared in my life out of nowhere.’

The rain came down harder, as Gojyo walked on. The forest seemed endless, but that was all right to him. He wanted to be lost, so lost he could never find his way back. At least that’s how he felt inside. He was walking down a path of endless self-destruction.

‘What does it matter anymore? When did it matter anyway?’ Gojyo thought to himself, as he walked the path before him. He finally stopped and slumped down under a tree. He wiped the water from his eyes, having lost his headband a while back. He didn’t care about it. He hoped it would get buried in the mud.

He curled himself up, trying to hide himself from anyone who happened to walk by. But no one would walk by, because no one would be in the forest then. No one ever went into that forest, because a horde of demons had taking up residence there. The same demons that decided it would be fun to mess with Gojyo.

It just proves that most people, humans or demons, don’t know when to leave someone alone. Especially if that someone is Gojyo.

“Why would Gojyo do something like this? What would possible possess him to run off?” Sanzo roared, slamming his fist into the table.
“Maybe he thinks he can’t live anymore. Stupid kappa. Of course, you can live.” Goku replied, watching the rain outside.
Sanzo stared at him, not knowing what to say.

“Hey, guys. Look what we have here. Seems a maggot wandered into our woods. What should we do to him?” the big one asked the two smaller demons of the group.
“Maybe we should kill him and mince him.” The lanky one replied, licking his chops.
“I’ve always preferred grinding my meat up.” The stouter one cackled, pulling out a club of sorts.
“How about we kill him first? Then we’ll decide what to do with him. Oi! Wake up, Red. Or would you prefer to keep your eyes closed so you don’t see the blood?” Alpha male laughed, pulling a knife out and raising it above his head. They cackled crowding around him and trying to guess what his screams sounded like.

That’s why they never saw it coming. That’s why they never expected to see their leader’s head on the cold ground.

“Shit! Where are they? It’s not good for either of them to be out in this weather.” Sanzo cursed, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes.
“Maybe, we aren’t looking hard enough. I know! We haven’t tried the alleyways, yet! Come on! Let’s go!” Goku cried, pulling at Sanzo’s arm.
“…Let’s go back to the inn. We won’t find them tonight. Let’s just go.” Sanzo whispered, turning back in the direction of the inn.
“What? But we can’t leave Hakkai and Gojyo out their by themselves?! What if something happens to them?!” Goku shouted at him, the rain falling harder.
“They don’t want us to find them….. Right now all we can do is sit back and hope that they’ll be alright. That’s all we can do right now.” Sanzo growled, his shoulders quivering slightly from the cold.
Goku took off his jacket and placed it around his shoulders, telling him that it was time to go. Sanzo followed him, silently hoping for the two missing to be alright.

Gojyo was bleeding from a cut on his arm. It wasn’t too deep. Not as deep as the one’s the demons received. Gojyo had ripped into them, hoping that it would make him feel something. Maybe some form of remorse even. He was still numb. Not only that, he was covered in their blood. He was thinking of Hakkai and all he could do was go numb.

Gojyo picked up the knife one of the demons had dropped. He looked it over, memorizing how it felt in his hand. He stroked the edge of it, pushing harder with each stroke. He finally drew blood on the sixth stroke. Gojyo smiled faintly at the sight, laughing slightly. He ran the blade across his scar, the steel barred by his shirt. He sighed, placing it near his throat and shaking his head. No matter where he put the damned thing, it just didn’t feel right.

‘ Every moment I was with you, I felt as if I were betraying her. Why, then, did I yearn for your presence so much?’

‘Oh well. I guess there is no right way.’ He thought.

He took the blade and positioned it over his stomach. He raised his arms and sighed.

‘Well, I guess this is goodbye. I have done enough to the ones I love. Goodbye.’ He thought, bringing the blade down on himself.

/schwick, splick/

He opened his eyes and gasped at the sight before him. The blade had never reached his stomach, but rather a hand, now covered in blood, had caught it. Not just any hand, mind you. The hand that had caught the blade belonged to Hakkai, who looked at Gojyo with fearful eyes.

“Stop it…. Please, Gojyo. Just stop it….. Please.” he gasped, pulling the blade from his hands and placing it to the side. Twin long cuts bled freely, mixing with the rain.
“I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean to hurt you…. I should’ve listened to you . I wanted you to be happy… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Hakkai sobbed, reaching for Gojyo’s hand and putting it to his face.

‘It was only then I discovered… How much I truly needed you in my life.’

Gojyo put his hands around Hakkai tightly, as if he were afraid to let him go. He sobbed into him, his shoulders shaking as he let out the grief and pain he had kept inside him for the past few days. Gojyo didn’t say anything. He just rubbed Hakkai’s back in small circles and rocked him gently.

‘You were my reason for living again. If only to stop you’re tears.’

When he stopped, they didn’t say anything. Gojyo got to his feet and pulled Hakkai up as well. The two walked back in silence, close together as if they were afraid of losing each other. The rain had slowed to a small drizzle by then and had gone unnoticed by the two. As they approached the inn, Hakkai started to fish around in his pockets a bit before he found what he was looking for. He pulled out his headband and offered it to him. Gojyo took it from him and slipped it into his pocket. The two went inside and up to their room, cold and wet. The others were asleep by this time except for a pair of watchful eyes, following their path into their room. A yawn came from the other side of the room.

“What are you still up for?” A rustle of sheets informed the watcher that their companion was joining them.
“Just watching, that’s all. I’m glad everything’s back to normal. Or at least as normal as these morons can get.”
“Don’t hate them for their lack of intelligence.” The other protested lightly, watching the watcher cross to their bed on the other side of the room.
“Why shouldn’t I?” the watcher climbed into bed and pulled the blankets over their form.
“Because…. Aren’t we all a bit lacking in some departments? Don’t you think, Konzen?”
“What was that last thing you said?”
“Oh, nothing. Nothing important at least.”
The two fell asleep, content that all had ended well for the better.

‘It was only then I knew that you were what I was wishing for.
It was only then I realized that you were the angel I loved so dearly
And that I would go to hell and back to find you.
Because that is how much I truly love you’


~Two weeks later~

“My, my! It seems that we’re running out of supplies already and I bought them just a week ago! What to do, what to do?” Hakkai laughed as he accepted the golden card from Sanzo.
“Just don’t buy unnecessary items, got me? And don’t forget my cigarettes.” Sanzo growled, going back to his paper.
“Hey Hakkai. Is it alright if I come with you and help you carry some of the groceries?” Gojyo asked, looking at him earnestly.
“Well… I can always use an extra hand. Not only that but I would enjoy the company.” Hakkai smiled, turning toward the door.

Gojyo followed Hakkai out the door and Goku just smiled at the sight. Sanzo snorted at him and he just rolled his eyes at Goku. But it just more than that to them. It meant that the wounds would heal. And if given enough time, perhaps the small bud would grow into something beautifully alive. That is what they both silently hoped for them. But they would be damned if they admitted it freely.