Honour, Duty, or Love?

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?
Author: JadeHeart
Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first
Fandom: Saiyuki

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Saiyuki’, nor am I making any profits

Chapter 7


As Kougaiji alighted from his dragon he stumbled as the weariness stuck him. He’d used a great deal of power in that last effort with Hakkai and had barely been able to remain awake on the flight home.

“My lord!” A voice called out to him.

He looked up to see Yaone racing towards him, long braids streaming behind her. She came to an abrupt stop before him, looking intently into his face, lips pursed.

“Are you well, my lord?” she asked, although from her tone he gathered she had already answered her own question and it was in the negative.

“I’m fine,” he lied, straightening up, trying to cover the trembling that was beginning to quiver in his muscles.

A small frown furrowed her brow and without another word she slipped to his side, drawing his arm across her shoulders and circling his waist with her own arm.

“Come with me, please,” She almost ordered him, although her tone remained painfully proper and polite. That was just like her.

Kougaiji thought briefly about refusing but the weakness in his knees, however irritating, was all too real so he finally gave a short nod and allowed her to lead him. She took him down the corridors off to the side, away from the mainstream passages used by most of the denizens of the castle and soon they reached her small secluded garden and rooms.

She settled him carefully on the couch, ensuring that the cushions were placed behind his back so he was comfortable, before bustling over to her bench, murmuring to herself as she reached up and began taking down bottles from the shelf and reading the labels.

“What happened, my lord?” She glanced over her shoulder towards him, her large wide eyes dark with concern. “We were all worried in your absence.”

He closed his tired eyes for a moment. “I had an..…errand to run,” he said simply. Obviously Dokugakuji had not said anything to her about his whereabouts, thus keeping his word. Yaone would have worried more if she had known which is what he hadn’t wanted.

“An errand?” she queried, silently requesting more information.

He opened his eyes to see her now at his side, sitting on the edge of the couch. She was busy mixing something in a mortar, leaning forward to take a measure or pinch from the various bottles and dishes on the small table before her. “Was that for …her?”

He didn’t answer and by not doing so he knew that Yaone would deduce that was exactly the case. He saw her lips thin for a moment in displeasure, an expression that was rarely seen for her, then she sighed softly.

“So did you find what you were seeking?” she asked, not looking at him as she was still busy in her preparations.

“Yes,” he answered shortly, refusing to elaborate. The less Yaone knew the better for her. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to think that she had information that they could wrest from her so he had no intention of confiding anything further to her.

She cast a quick glance his way. “But you don’t intend to give it to her, do you?”

Ah, she was a sharp one. She knew him far too well. He almost smiled but didn’t.

“Won’t she know though?” she asked, concern colouring her voice.

“I doubt it,” he reluctantly replying. “The owner is dead so he won’t be talking.”

“You…?”

“No,” He shook his head. “That favour was done most admirably and thoroughly by Cho Hakkai.”

“Hakkai?”

He heard how her voice seemed to catch a little on the name but when he looked over her face was now turned away so he couldn’t see her expression. He really wished he knew what had gone on between those two. Something obviously had but she hadn’t said anything, not even to Dokugakuji. He hadn’t questioned Lirin yet, but he was fairly certain that nothing would come of that. What ever had gone on, it wasn’t something that Yaone would confide to a young immature kitten like his sister.

Yet he couldn’t stop this almost burning need to know. What had happened? They were together all night, they had both been injured, that had been obvious even when he had arrived. All Yaone had ever mentioned was that they had helped heal each other’s wounds. Sounded innocent enough. So why did it still leave him with this feeling of irritation?

Why was it that what he felt at times like this seemed akin to….jealousy? He hated himself for acting like he was trying to possess Yaone. She wasn’t his to do as he wished with. He had set her free although she remained in his service for protection. He wasn’t about to let any of the other demons take away those he cared for. He’d lost too much already. He would make certain to keep those he cared for close by his side from now on. Where he could protect them.

Was that all he wanted to do? Protect Yaone? He studied her as she sat engrossed in her task. His eyes traced her profile, the elegant sharp ears, the long pale column of her neck, the curve of her back as she bent to her task, the long braids that pooled across his legs, her slim hands cradling the bowl on her bare thighs. She was breathtakingly beautiful; which is exactly why she was chosen by the Centipede King in the first place. That demon certainly had had good taste – which was the only thing that could be said for him.

So what did he really feel for Yaone? Was he being too over-protective? She could look after herself. She was a capable fighter and getting better under Dokugakuji’s training. She could hold her own against most youkkai now so he had faith in her abilities, especially as an apothecary. So was he just behaving like a boorish older brother and curtailing her life? If she really liked Hakkai – and he couldn’t stop his teeth grinding together as he thought that name – then did he have the right to stop her? After all, Hakkai actually was a youkkai so it wasn’t even like it was a cross-species relationship. If he had been human still that would have been different. No good had ever seemed to have come from those relationships. Dokugakuji’s past had proven that.

Or was it….more?

“Drink this,” Yaone said suddenly, bringing him out of his thoughts. She was holding out a steaming bowl to him.

He glanced at the green froth inside. “What is it?” he asked dubiously.

“A restoration potion,” she replied. “You have obviously exhausted all of your spiritual power reserves so this will help facilitate the rejuvenation process.”

“It looks unpleasant,” he said, still not taking it. A bubble on the surface of the contents popped sluggishly and he grimaced at it.

“It is completely tasteless,” she assured him. “Please be so good as to drink it all. For me?”

He held in a sigh. That was her way of admonishing him for being so pigheaded, as close as she would ever come to it. However he knew that she wouldn’t back down, no matter how he tried to vacillate. So he reluctantly took the bowl from her hands and, taking a deep mental breath, drank it completely.

He was surprised that it was completely true; it was tasteless. Not that he had for one moment thought that Yaone would lie to him, it wasn’t in her nature. Still he was surprised. It truly had looked ghastly.

She reached out and took the empty vessel from his hand, placing it on the table and standing to clear things away.

“I’ll leave you now,” He began to say, but when he tried to throw his legs over the side to stand it seemed as though his limbs were lead weights. He tried to move again and found that his whole body was unwilling to respond to his commands.

“What….” His tongue tried to trip over his words and he tried again. “What have you done?!” He demanded, glaring at her. Surely she had not betrayed him. Not Yaone.

She calmly spread a light silken throw over him, tucking it around his body before reaching up to rearrange the cushions he was resting on to make him more comfortable.

“That potion will make you sleep for some time,” she said calmly as she went about her ministrations.

“You….lied to me!” he accused lethargically, glaring at her which was all he was able to accomplish at this time.

“No, my lord,” she answered, sitting on the stool beside the couch and folding her hands into her lap, looking back at him serenely. “It is a restorative potion; and part of that process is for the body to sleep deeply to recuperate fully. It is the best thing for you.”

He tried to fight the lethargy beginning to overtake not just his body, but his mind as well.

“You can’t beat it, even as powerful as you are,” she said, still calm, tilting her head to one side. “You have nothing left within you at the moment to fight it with. It is better to just allow it to take its natural course.”

She leant forward and lightly brushed his hair from his eyes, a gentle smile on her lips. “Sleep, my lord. You will need all your strength if you are to face Gyokumen Koushu. I will watch over you so no harm shall befall you. I swear it.”

He felt his eyelids grow heavy and begin to slip shut although he continued to fight against it, unwilling to give up just yet. However, he could feel himself losing the battle as his vision began to blur.

His last view was of her serene face and at that sight a sense of peace stole over him s he finally gave up and entrusted himself to her care with no further hesitation.

-oOo-

Yaone sat and watched her lord finally succumb fully to the potion’s effects. She carefully reached out and brushed the rest of the hair from his face, gazing down fondly at the familiar features, finally relaxed in slumber.

Too often these days Kougaiji’s face was filled with tension, frown lines marring his handsome features. Too often his words were sharp, filled with worry, pain, or anger. Yaone hated seeing him like that and wished there was something that she could do to ease his suffering. She would give anything to help her lord – even her life if it was necessary.

Her fingertips trailed lightly down the side of his face, tracing the bright red slashes of colour across one cheek. She cared about this man more than anything in the world. Not just because he had saved her from the Centipede King, but for all the other times that he had come for her, protected her, stood by her. He had always been there, and she bemoaned the times that she had not been strong enough to help him or been the cause of more hurt to him. That is not what she wanted. She wanted to become strong; strong enough to one day protect him.

That is why she kept training. She had always been a good apothecary and taught her self even more, but in physical fighting, her skill had only been mediocre at best. Her first meeting with the Sanzo party had shown her that. She had been defeated so easily by Hakkai that it still made her face burn with shame. So she had determined that that would never happen again and applied herself strenuously to her training afterwards. Each time thereafter when they had battled the Sanzo party she had felt that she was certainly getting better. Hakkai had even once complimented her skill which had made her flush with pleasure. Such praise coming from such a worthy opponent had been more than she had thought she could ever hope for. Still she knew that she had a long way to go.

She continued to stroke Kougaiji’s hair, gently combing through the long strands with her sharpened nails, pausing to carefully unweave the snarls tangled in it.

She worried about him facing Gyokumen Koushu. She frowned fiercely. She hated that woman passionately as she hated no other, but the one who actually terrified her was Ni Jianyi. There was something so sinister about that man, as though he were completely devoid of all normal feelings and this was all just a game to him. It frightened her to the core because she could see him just wiping any of them out without a single thought and just as suddenly. Too many times already he had come so close to destroying one or the other of them, preying on their weaknesses. He always seemed to know exactly what anyone was thinking, what were the deepest desires in your heart and seemed to delight in finding ways to exploit them. It truly did terrify her.

And since Lord Kougaiji was the one that always had to be close to Ni Jianyi as he was Gyokumen Koushu’s pet, Yaone feared for him the most. After that last ill-fated event, she and Dokugakuji always ensured that they never left Kougaiji alone with him again, unless their Lord was fully conscious and able to fight back. Still, every time Kougaiji was called before Gyokumen, Yaone found herself filled with worry, and she couldn’t breath easy until he walked from the chamber unharmed.

What was it that he had found, she wondered, looking down at the sleeping face. He had admitted that he had been successful in his set task so she couldn’t help but wonder what it was. It was obviously something important to Gyokumen, which could only mean that it was needed for Gyumaoh’s revival. However it was also obviously something that Kougaiji didn’t want her to have. She wished that he trusted her enough to tell her more. Perhaps she could be of help him then.

Softly she sighed and stood, quietly gathering up her herbs and potions and returning them to their various locations. If Kougaiji didn’t trust her then that meant that she was lacking something so it just meant that she would have to try even harder to prove to him that she was worthy of that trust. She knew that she could do it.

She glanced back at the sleeping form. Perhaps then she would truly be worthy of this man.