The Heat of the Moment

Disclaimer-i do not own any of the characters to Kyo Kara Maoh

Chapter 7


When Gisela walked into Yuuri's office, Conrad, her father and Gwendal were already inside. "You sent for me, majesty?"

"Yes," Yuuri said sitting up straight and looking her in the eyes. Gisela shivered in dread as she stared into those black serpent like eyes. It was strange to see Yuuri still in his demon king persona even though there was no threat around. "Melinda and I will be divorced soon and I am going to start up the search for Wolfram again. Now," he said in that voice that chilled her to the bone, "Gwendal says you have some news about Wolfram."


"Gisela sighed and glared at the three men. Then she turned her gaze back to Yuuri. It was very unsettling for her to stare into those snake like eyes of his but she would not betray Wolfram’s trust any further by telling Yuuri about the baby. "Why?"

"Why what?" asked Yuuri.

"Why are you searching for him now after three years?" she stared defiantly at him. "You seemed quite happy without him here. You had your wife. So, why are you searching for him?"

"Wolfram is my friend."

"Are we back to that again? Your friend," she said in disgust. "That is not a good enough reason to tell you anything. Besides, you just gave up searching for him. At least his brothers never gave up trying to find him but you . . . you just married your woman and didn't think twice about whether Wolfram was okay."

Yuuri stared at the two men in shock. He never knew that they had continued the search for the blonde demon. “Why wasn’t I told about this?”

“We thought that it would be best that we continued,” said Conrad. “After all, there was no reason for you to continue to look for him. Wolfram is our brother and therefore our responsibility.”

“If that’s the case, why did you agree with your mother and said you would not search for him?”

“Excuse me but you have gotten off the track,” said Gisela. “His majesty has yet to explain why he feels the need to find Wolfram when for the past three years he did not think twice about him.”

"Wolfram is a grown man. He does not need us watching over him like he is an infant. If he wanted to leave, that was his right to do so."

"So, why are you searching for him? If what you say is true and Wolfram had the right to leave. Then there is no need for you to be searching for him," said Gisela.

"I . . I miss having him around," Yuuri said blushing as his eyes returned to normal and he sat down sighing. "I miss our talks we use to have and the picnics that we use to go on with Greta."

"I see.” The green hair healer arched a delicate brow. "I see. You don't miss him because you want him back. You just miss all the attention wolfram use to give you. Isn’t that it your majesty?" She glared at the dark hair monarch. "Father told me about how on your world you were nothing special. Black hair and black eyes were as common as water on your world but here, you are king. You are respected and loved. All attention is on you. Is that why you want to find Wolfram, your majesty, so you can have your greatest worshiper back to feed your ego?"

"That’s not true."

"Isn’t it? Here, you are king. On your world, you are nothing. Here, the people worship you. There, they do not look at you twice. Here, you have people who would give their lives to make sure you are safe. The only reason you want him back is because except for my father, no one here is giving you as much attention as Wolfram use to. And that's what you miss."

"You’re wrong Gisela. If that was true than I am nothing but a hypocrite and a jerk. Why is it that you expect me to throw away everything that was taught to me on Earth? For the past fifteen years, I was raised to believe that relationships between men were wrong and something unnatural."

"So, what you are saying is that your parents are to blame for instilling such prejudices in you," said Gisela.

"No, my parents would never be so narrow minded and prejudice to believe something like that. Especially my mother. She believes that love is love . . . no matter who you . . . are with."

"Now, you are becoming confusing. If your parents didn't teach you this, where did you learn such bigotry?"

Yuuri sighed. "You'll be surprised where you can learn such stuff." He turned away from them to look out the window. "There are a lot of things that come to mind. Television is one thing. It shows hate crimes against people just because they are different color and different religion. And yes, people are beaten or killed because they would rather be with another man. Also, in school you learn to think like all the others because you are afraid that if you speak out, everyone you considered as your friends will turn their back on you and label you as a faggot." Yuuri smiled sadly. "I know that word means nothing to you but it is a degrading hateful word that the ‘straight’ kids call a person that is in a same sex relationship. You see Gisela. On Earth, the children are just as cruel as the adults. I know it sounds stupid but that's just how the people are."

Gisela felt sick to her stomach at what Yuuri was telling them about the attitudes of the people Earth. She could not believe the Great One would send Julia’s soul to such a hateful cruel world. "I will concede to your point about not being able to unlearn fifteen years of behavior but your majesty, you never once tried to understand Wolfram feelings." Her green eyes had softened as she talked about her friend. "You never once tried to imagine how Wolfram felt every time you refused to accept the engagement. At parties and celebrations, you never once stayed by his side as he did with you. You never once had to cry yourself to sleep because the person you loved didn't love you back."

Yuuri turned around to stare into Gisela sad wet eyes as tears fell like rain down her cheeks.

"You never once felt your heart shatter as you watched your love dance and smile with every woman he came across while only looking at you with scorn. That, your majesty is what Wolfram had to go through every day."

"Suppose we had got married and it ended up being a disaster?"

"Then at least you would have tried. You didn't even try to see if your relationship would have worked. You just stampeded forward saying it’s wrong for two men to love each other. You never once thought about Wolfram, did you."

"No, I didn't," Yuuri said so softly until everyone had to strain to hear him. The young king lowered his head in shame. Gisela was right. He never thought to sit down with Wolfram and asked him why he was so adamant about remaining engaged. And neither did it cross his mind to think that Wolfram truly loved him and wanted to marry him. He just assumed that it was the blonde's pride forcing him not to back out. "Melinda was right. I am a fool."

"No your majesty, not a fool. Just a child raised on a very foolish world," said Gwendal. Then he turned to the green eye healer. "Tell him Gisela."

"I cannot tell him. I made a Blood Oath to Wolfram," said Gisela.

"Then we shall tell him," said Gunter. "Your majesty, on the day Wolfram left, Gisela had told him that he was pregnant with your child."

Yuuri sat as though turned to stone. Then he turned his gaze to the young woman. "He was . . . pregnant? But how?" he gasped as he remembered the night of his return celebration. Suddenly his world came crashing down around him. 'Wolfram. Pregnant. With my child. Why wolfram? Why didn't you tell me?'

/why should he tell you?/ A sinister voice from the back of his mind hissed at him. /You did nothing to earn the love that he had for you and you do not deserve the child he bore for you. You, Yuuri Shibuya, are nothing but a . . . a wimp./

Yuuri felt a knife twisting in the very core of his soul as he felt his heart scream in agony. "Why didn't you tell me?" He clutched his heart staring at nothing lost in a sea of misery.

"Would it have made a difference?" asked Gisela.

Yuuri jerked his head up to stare at the young woman. Pain was etched into every crevice of his face. "Of course it would. I mean he was pregnant with my child.”

"You would have loved him?"

"I . . . I don't now," Yuuri said sadly looking away.

"Come now your majesty, you just said telling you would have made a difference. Would you have loved him as much as he loved you had you known?" her green eyes seemed to bore into Yuuri souls. "Or would you have accused him of trying to force you into marrying him?"

"I would never have said that. I guess I would have been surprised that he was able to get pregnant but I never would have thought . . ." He stopped suddenly as once again he remembered what happened the next morning after he realized that he and Wolfram had had sex. And he realized that he would have done just that. He would have accused Wolfram of trying to trap him into marriage. He raked his fingers through his hair and began pounding his forehead against his desk. "We have to find him." He stared up at them.

"Although we agreed not to look for him," said Conrad. "After finding out Wolfram was pregnant, Gwendal and I decided to continue the search for Wolfram."

"Did you find out anything?" Yuuri asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid not your majesty," said Gunter. "It is as though he has fallen off the face of the planet."

"But we have not given up our search," said Gwendal. "It’s difficult for our agents to move around in the human territories that are not our allies. The searches there are slow and we cannot send out a lot of our men. Only Josak and six others are currently searching enemy territories."

"That’s why Josak hasn't been around so much," Conrad said sadly. Conrad hates to send his husband off into dangerous territory but he wants his little brother back. The castle has been lonely without hearing Wolfram angry shouts to rattle the walls and drive away the emptiness. And he could tell that Wolfram men misses him as well.

Yuuri got up and went to the book shelf. He grabbed a map of their world and unrolled the parchment across his desk. "What about crossing the Great Abyssal Sea?"

All four people stared at him as though he had gone mad.

"There is nothing out there, sire," said Gunter.

"There could be an island or another continent there?" said Yuuri.

"And how would he get there?" asked Gwendal. "He would need food for such a long and dangerous voyage. No one knows what sort of dangers the Abyssal Sea holds but no one in their right mind would ever try to cross it.”

“Christopher Columbus cross the Atlantic ocean and discovered America,” said Yuuri. “Whose to say that we won’t discover another country.”

“That’s true your majesty but Columbus as you know had the backing of Spain,” said Conrad.

“Well, we could do it. We could put together an expedition and cross the Great Abyssal Sea.”

“That is out of the question,” said Gwendal.

“Why? I thought you wanted to find Wolfram,” said Yuuri. “If we cannot find him on this side of the world, then he has to be on the other side. I think we should do this.”

“I’m sorry, your majesty but I have to agree with Gwendal,” said Gunter. Yuuri stared at the lavender hair man in shock. “Besides, an expedition was sent to cross the sea long ago but they never came back. There is no way wolfram would try to cross such a dangerous place alone and while he was pregnant."

"He may have settled in a human kingdom we know nothing about," said Gwendal. "The humans are always settling in different territories starting up a new town or country. He could be there."

"Or he may well be right under our nose," said Conrad. "He could be in disguise."

"But wouldn't people have known he was a demon if he walked into their town pregnant?" asked Yuuri.

"He could've had the baby in one of our allied countries and then disappeared afterward," said Gunter.

Yuuri sighed in defeat. "Then what are we going to do?" Yuuri stared at his desk not seeing it. "I have a two and a half-year-old child I have not seen. And it's because of my own stupidity and ignorance that I have lost two and a half years of my child's life. Wolfram, what could you be thinking? You must be so lonely and scared to be raising a child alone."

"He is not alone,” said Gisela.

"What was that?" Yuuri looked up at her.

She sighed and turned her back to him. "Wait here. I will be gone only a few minutes." She walked out of the room.

xxxxx

When Gisela returned, she held a letter in her hand. "I received this from wolfram about a year after he disappeared. And these I received about every five or six months afterward." She handed him the first letter and then placed the other letters on his desk.

Yuuri took the letter and opened it. "You got a letter from Wolfram a year after he disappeared and you didn't tell me about it."

"Since you were so happy with lady von Strauss. I thought receiving a letter from Wolfram would have dampened your happiness."

Yuuri frowned up at the healer and then began to read the letter.

'Dear Gisela, I am sorry it has taken so long for me to write but I had a lot going on in my life as of late. First off, I want to say I am sorry for not coming back like you wanted me to but I just could not bear to see the scorn and anger in Yuuri's eyes when he finds out that I was pregnant. So, I am writing to let you know that I am doing fine and that I had a little boy. I named him Yuu after Yuuri. I love him so much. I wish you could see him. He is the image of Yuuri when he was a baby. He has the same black hair and the same large innocent black eyes. And when he smiles, it just makes my world seem a whole lot brighter.

You needn't worry. I had no difficulty with the delivery. When the healer handed him to me. I cried in joy. He was so tiny. I was afraid that I would drop him but the healer showed me how to hold him and now, I don't want to let him out of my arms. He is my pride and maybe one day when my heart has healed. I will return to Shin Makoku. Maybe Yuu and the children Yuuri has with Melinda will become friends as well as siblings. Hopefully they will learn to love each other like I love my big brothers.

Anyway, I have important shocking news for you. I am married.' Yuuri eyes widened in shock. "He’s married?" All four men stared at Gisela in shock.

"Why shouldn't he get married? After all, you were married to Melinda. Did you expect him to remain unmarried and unhappy while you were happy with your new wife," said Gisela.

Yuuri felt his heart break. He could see in her eyes that Gisela thought he was a hypocrite and a jerk. Of course he wanted Wolfram to be happy. He just didn't want his friend to make a mistake as he did. "No. No, I just want him to be happy." He went back to reading the letter.

'His name is Ellis and he is a wonderful man. I know what you are thinking. I can imagine the wheels turning in your head. No, I do not love him the way I love Yuuri and he knows this. I’m still shocked myself as to why he wanted to be in a relationship like this. He knows about Yuuri and how I feel about him but yet, he still wanted to marry me. I know what you are thinking that it was wrong of me to marry someone I do not love and you are right. But I guess I felt so lonely and empty without Yuuri that I wanted someone to love me for me. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say. You know I have a hard time of putting into words how I feel. Anyway, Ellis is a kind man and very handsome too. He loves to make me laugh. I just feel so free and unrestraint when I am with him. When I was with Yuuri, I could never be this carefree. I was always either chasing him or yelling at him. It has been a long while since I really laughed. I’m not saying it's Yuuri's fault. I just think that it was because of the intense love I have for him that all I could think of was trying to keep him away from the women that were trying to lure him away from me.

With Ellis I don't have that fear. He told me that there are no women on this planet that is as breathtaking as I am. I know. It was a corny thing for him to say but it was sweet of him. Also, since Yuu was born, we both are so happy. He has accepted Yuu as his own child. Ellis loves him so much. And he has proven that he truly loves me by taking another man's child as his own. He told me that Yuuri was a fool for ever letting me get away from him. Well, I don’t know about that but I think that with the help of Ellis, I just may be able to mend my broke heart and come to terms with Yuuri not loving me.

Well, I have to end this letter. Yuu has awakened from his nap in a very cranky mood. I’ll try to write as often as I can but I wouldn't hold my breath. I am very busy with taking care of Yuu and other important matters. Until next time.

Wolfram'

Yuuri placed the letter down staring at it. "I have a son and he named him after me." Tears fell from Yuuri's eyes. "I am a father."

Conrad motioned for everyone to leave Yuuri alone for a while. As everyone piled up outside of Yuuri's office, Gisela turned to the two brothers. "Conrad. Gwendal these arrived today. They are addressed to each of you." She handed Conrad his letter and Gwendal his letter.

Both Gwendal and Conrad took the letters and opened them. They read and a few minutes later, a tiny smile curved the lips of the stoic elder brother as he continued to read his baby brother's letter. It had been so long since they heard from him. He was afraid that something might have happened to him and they wouldn't have known if he was dead or alive. It would have been better if he could see his little brother and hear his voice. But for now, this letter will do until they find the wayward blonde.

Conrad upon reading his letter burst into tears as he leaned against the wall. Gisela was immediately at his side. He hated the fact that his pregnancy was making him so emotional. He did not want anyone to see him crying but this wonderful letter from Wolfram has truly touched his heart. "Is something wrong, Conrad?" asked the green hair woman.

"No," he said wiping tears from his eyes. "Everything is fine." Conrad clutched the letter close to his heart. This was one letter he was never going to throw away.

"Then why are you crying?" asked Gunter.

"It’s just that. Wolfram has asked me for my forgiveness for all these years of hating me. And-and he called me his beloved little big brother." He rested his head against Gisela's shoulder and continued to cry. "He hasn’t called me that since we were children.”

“We are very happy for you Conrad,” said Gisela as she rubbed his back soothingly. “You don’t have to cry. Everything will be all right. You’ll see."

"I just wish he was here so we can be a family again," said Conrad.

"Wolfram can’t stay hidden forever," said Gunter.

"Gunter is right," said Gwendal with a determined look on his face. "There is no need for you to upset yourself. We will find our runaway little brother and when that day comes . . . and when that day comes, well . . ." the stoic elder brother could not finish his sentence without becoming emotional himself. He wanted his baby brother back. Like Conrad, he wanted his family to be complete once again but he will not cry. He refused to show such an emotion. So, he turned his back to them and cleared his throat. But the others could hear the emotion in his voice. "Well, I have . . . work to do. I’ll see you later." Feeling his own emotions slipping, Gwendal grunted a coarse good bye and walked away stiff back.

Conrad smiled as he watched his elder brother walk away. He knew that Gwendal did not want them to see him break down. It would be unbecoming of someone in his position. Not to mention it might send several of them into heart failure to see the stoic man cry. Conrad didn't know about anyone else but for him he was the luckiest person in the world to have Gwendal and Wolfram as his brothers.

"Come on Conrad, let's get you to bed," said Gisela as she and Gunter led the brown hair man back to his old bedroom. "I want you to rest once we get there."

"Yes, doctor," Conrad said smiling. For the first time in years, he really did feel like they would find his brother.