The Butterfly Mansion

A/N: This was done about a month ago but I still wasn’t satisfied. Unfortunately RL required my full attention so I couldn’t finish this faster. Sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy this though I think my skill is kinda rusty… T_T

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters. I make no money. At all. Period…

Sinful Promises

It wasn’t a difficult decision to make. No, sadly, it wasn’t at all. The answer was obvious to Soubi, there was nothing to question. He was ready and willing to risk anything to see Ritsuka again.

It might be stupidity, carelessness, or sick obsession but Soubi couldn’t bring himself to care enough. He knew he was wrong. He knew he must stop. Ritsuka was only a child, an innocent child. He shouldn’t taint him with the knowledge of men’s dark desire and yet he couldn’t help it. Soubi couldn’t help wanting and needing Ritsuka to be with him, to stay with him, to love him, to grace him with compassion he never knew about. He needed Ritsuka to live.

“Do you enjoy the view?”

Soubi managed to maintain his stoic expression. He refused to look at the speaker, finding the skyline of the dreamy city much more fascinating than the demon behind him. As much as he wished he was able to blame his employer, he couldn’t. It was he who chose this for himself; an opportunity to meet his beloved for nightly servitude toward Ritsu. It was degrading, this act he had vowed to never perform again but desperation and love blinded him. Soubi knew Ritsu’s chain of information was not to be underestimated. Ritsuka’s whereabouts was easy to discover if Ritsu so desired. But why would he want to do that? Soubi didn’t have to ask, he knew the man well enough to recognize his word play. Ritsu would only provided him with the chance of seeing Ritsuka but he would not help Soubi in his search at all. He would have to comb this maze of a city if he wished to find Ritsuka again. Everything depended on Soubi, there was no one to count on, he could only try and try and try.

Ritsu said nothing when Soubi passed him by wordlessly. “Seimei is a cautious person. He might even have heard of your arrival here. He won’t make it easy for you to find his brother.” Ritsu said as Soubi was about to open the door. “I believe I don’t have to remind you of what he was capable of when angered.”

Indeed Soubi didn’t need any reminder. The healing scars throbbed on his chest, an evidence of the violent side Seimei skillfully hid beneath his mask. Soubi had no doubt that worse things could happen if he were to be found by the dangerous young man. He had been spared to suffer. Seeing hope and determination still alight in him wouldn’t please Seimei too greatly. A hint of fear ran through him but was immediately defeated by intense longing. It’s going to worth it. Ritsuka is worth every risk he took. With that thought in mind, Soubi went left the hotel room in search of his forbidden lover.

*

He felt sick, disgusted with himself. His skin burnt where he had been touched. He felt filthy.

The whiteness of the sheet did nothing to purify him. He saw and felt darkness all around him, craved it and loathed it at the same time. He wanted to close his eyes and pretend to be oblivious but knew that in darkness he’d only have pain and loneliness with him.

Soubi wished it hurt but it didn’t. He despised Ritsu’s skill, despised how it made his body betrayed his mind. He despised himself and how he had conditioned himself to welcome lust readily. There was nothing else he wanted but pain to tear him away from this moment. He wanted nothing but to get away to a sanctuary he dared not to dream, a sanctuary Ritsuka could give him.

Soubi closed his eyes and strengthened his resolve. He’d do anything for the chance to see Ritsuka.

*

Soubi spent days and nights prowling the streets of the unfamiliar city, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ritsuka. He explored the city thoroughly, carefully listening and watching out for any hint about his beloved. The beautiful buildings didn’t draw his interest. Longing stares were ignored as Soubi continued on his relentless pursuit. They didn’t matter to him. He was here for Ritsuka and only for him. Ritsuka was here somewhere, waiting to be found. Soubi must find him before it’s too late, before Seimei entrapped him further with his evil ploys, before Soubi was forgotten…

Ritsu’s touches every night Soubi returned to the hotel to perform his end of the agreement were tolerable because of his undying hope. It was a silly thing, he knew, but he didn’t care. The thought of Ritsuka made everything seemed possible. The boy made Soubi feel again, hope again, live again. No longer did he felt numb, the pain was real with each second he spent away from Ritsuka, the loneliness tore a deeper wound. But pain was what motivated him to keep searching, to find the only cure for his soul; Ritsuka.

And yet despite Soubi’s relentless efforts, there was still no sign from Ritsuka. The strangeness became familiar, the beauty became dull and yet not a glimpse of his beloved had been found. He was far from being deterred, though. He had foiled Seimei’s plans once, he would do it again. He would find Ritsuka somehow. He had to. His life depended on it. His life depended on Ritsuka. He couldn’t, didn’t wish to return to the numb existence he used to have. Even pain was welcomed when the combination of undesired servitude and lonesomeness start to numb him again. He didn’t want to see this as a normal existence. He didn’t want to be in that kind of life again. He wanted to feel, he wanted to love… he wanted to be loved. He wanted a live he hadn’t had the chance to live. He wanted to believe in happiness, absurd and childish as the wish might be. He wanted to taste what he was supposed to provide his clients but never knew about. He wanted everything that had been taken away from him, everything that Ritsuka represented. He wanted Ritsuka. He needed him.

“A-Aoyagi-kun…”

The mention of the name caused Soubi’s heart to skip a beat. Had he heard wrong? Had Fate tempted him with cruel illusion again? Soubi almost couldn’t bring himself to search the ource of the voice. He had been disappointed many times since his arrival in this city. He had been deceived by his senses far too many times, another evidence of his longing. Was it another trick of his twisted mind? Oh, how he wished that this time it was real… How he wished that this time he had truly found his lover… It had been so long, far too long and he wished for nothing more but to have that lithe body in his arms again, to see that innocent face again, to be possessed by those eyes again.

Please, let this one be true.

“It’s all right Shinonome-san. I’ll be right back.”

Soubi’s heart thundered in his chest. Quietly, he stepped into the end of the alley and peered at the busy sidewalk lined with attractive shops. He only saw a swish of movement but he was fairly certain that his eyes didn’t deceive him this time. That glossy black hair, lithe body, pale skin, mauve eyes… that was undoubtedly Ritsuka!

His body trembled almost violently. It was Ritsuka! He’s here! He had finally found him! He had found him!

Intense joy almost bright him to his knees. Soubi wanted nothing more but to run into the tiny camera store and pull Ritsuka into his arms but he held himself back. The stammering woman stood in front of the store, nervously glancing around like a little thief in the middle of a crime. No doubt she had been ordered to watch over Ritsuka by Seimei. It wasn’t impossible that she had been warned about Soubi. Ritsu was right, Seimei was a very careful person, he wouldn’t allow anyone but him touch Ritsuka. Soubi wouldn’t be surprised if the woman wasn’t the only one ordered to watch over Ritsuka. It wasn’t a wise thing to just run into the store and grab Ritsuka, no matter how much he wanted to. He must wait for now.

Ritsuka left the store with a camera in hand. Soubi took a moment to take in the beautiful sight. Nothing had changed in his beloved, he was still the same child he remembered. He watched, fascinated, as Ritsuka fiddled with the camera and then snap a picture of the flustered woman. A small genuine smile splayed on the boy’s face as he reviewed the photograph; a smile Soubi had never seen before. The thought of it hurt him a little, realizing that Ritsuka had never been truly happy with him. There had been a dull light in his eyes, as if he was trapped in a thick fog of his internal world, unable to escape, unable to find something to hold on to. He had been confused and curious, exploring the adult world tentatively. The tantalizing glimpses only added to his bewilderment, fueling curiosity until he found a dark kind of light to lead him to the life he shouldn’t live yet. The greedy learner took in every lesson as if his life depended on it, performed it with the expertise of an adult and innocence of a child. As he watched Ritsuka walked through the busy street, Soubi wondered if the boy realized how tangled he was in the dark web Seimei had set to entrap those he desired.

Soubi carefully followed the pair, noticing that indeed they were not alone. A guard came with them, scanning the crowd carefully for any possible threat to the child. Despite the annoyance that was evident in Ritsuka’s slight frown, he managed to overlook this nuisance. He walked the streets confidently, occasionally stopping to take pictures of objects and people he deemed interesting. The wide smile on his face whenever a new shot was taken showed how pleased he was with himself. He was like a child in a carnival, spinning round and round in molten artificial colors, drowning himself in the scent of innocence, embraced by sweet dreams in his head, radiating purity of his soul and yet unaware of the cold darkness of the night just at the edges of his fragile world.

“Ritsuka.” Soubi whispered to himself, his throat raw from withheld emotion. He had been waiting too long, far too long for this moment. Ritsuka, his sweet Ritsuka was finally here, with him, within reach, no longer a teasing dream. He was real. He was here. Ritsuka was here.

He saw a chance when Ritsuka was visiting a flower shop. The woman was temporarily distracted her own clumsiness and the burly man was nowhere to be seen. It was risky. It was dangerous. Soubi knew very well the risk he took but he didn’t care. He had to do this. He had to meet Ritsuka, touch him, listen to him, feel him… He had to be with Ritsuka.

Ritsuka gasped when he pulled him to an alley. He struggled at first, frightened, but when stopped when he saw Soubi. He must be confused and surprised but Soubi didn’t give him time to speak. He pulled him deeper into the maze until tall walls blocked the sun and silence was their music. Soubi stopped only then, allowing Ritsuka a moment to catch his breath.

“What are you doing here?”

Soubi opened his mouth to answer but not a word escape. He caressed Ritsuka’s smooth cheek slowly, proving to himself that this was not another cruel dream. This was not. Soubi allowed himself to smile in relief.

“Sou…”

His name was cut off by a passionate kiss. Ritsuka gasped in shock and yet didn’t pull away. Soubi ran his hands over the tiny body desperately, causing soft moans to rise from the boy’s lips only to be swallowed by his greedy mouth. So familiar yet so strange. The memory was fresh in Soubi’s mind yet everything seemed new. Something told him that a change had happened though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. All attempts to think were futile as he felt Ritsuka warmed under his touch. He snuck a hand under Ritsuka’s shirt, stroking soft skin there then teasing a nipple, pinching and tweaking it until it hardened under his touch.

“Soubi.” Ritsuka gasped when Soubi broke the kiss.

“Ritsuka.” Soubi gasped back as he undid Ritsuka’s trousers and slipped his hand inside to stroke Ritsuka firmly. Soft moans escaped the boy’s pink lips as Soubi pleasure him. He was barely aware when his trouser and underwear were pushed down, only realizing at the last moment to assist the removal. Soubi gasped his name again and again desperately as he hastily wet his fingers with saliva and carefully slid a finger into Ritsuka. The boy gasped and squirmed in his arms, clutching Soubi’s shirt tightly as he was being opened slowly; one finger, in and out, in and out, two fingers… three…. Soubi rested his forehead onto Ritsuka’s shoulder, moaning softly as he was being surrounded by Ritsuka’s presence. Oh, how he had missed this! Waiting felt like a torture when he had Ritsuka moaning and whimpering in is arms. He groaned in impatience when he finally slid his fingers out of Ritsuka then lifted Ritsuka up onto his lap and pinned him against a wall.

Ritsuka gasped softly as Soubi pushed into him slowly. He clawed at Soubi’s coat, whimpering Soubi’s name when he was all the way in, unconsciously contracting around him. Unable to resist, Soubi seized the boy’s lips in a deep kiss before rocking his hips. He wanted this to last. He wanted to take it slow. He wanted this to last forever. But intense lust overwhelmed him, making him sought pleasure in Ritsuka hastily. The boy moaned and groaned into his mouth as he was being pleasured, his legs crossing behind Soubi’s back as he did his best to puch back against Soubi’s thrusts. He wrapped his arms around Soubi’s neck and somehow managed to gasp out a request for Soubi to…

“…touch me… touch me… touch me….”

Soubi groaned in pure unrestrained lust and slipped a hand between them. Ritsuka threw his head back, staring at the blue sky above them as pleasure coursed through his tiny body. Soubi used the chance to worship his neck with tiny kisses as the flame within him burn hotter and brighter. Soon Ritsuka let out a cry as he coated Soubi’s hand with his warm essence. Feeling the tightness clamping around him, Soubi groaned loudly as he released himself inside Ritsuka. Within the cloudy mist of bliss, he felt his face being kissed and he moaned softly as he continued to slowly rock into Rtsuka’s warmth. Eventually, he lowered them both to the ground, Ritsuka still on his lap gently calming him with kisses and caresses.

“Ritsuka…”

“Soubi, why are you here?”

Soubi looked into Ritsuka’s questioning eyes. He saw innocence there despite what they just did, the innocence he loved and longed for. He opened his mouth to warn him of the imminent danger posed by the boy’s brother, of the dark soul he really had, of his impure intentions but nothing came out of his mouth. Soubi found himself unable to do it. He had witnessed Ritsuka’s devotion toward his brother. Painful as it was to admit, Soubi realized that it was very likely for Ritsuka not to believe him. Semei was a flawless, loving figure in the boy’s eyes, worthy of devotion and affection. Soubi was only an escort who had entertained him. Why would he believe him? Should Soubi burden him with such knowledge?

And even if he did, what could they do? Seimei wouldn’t let them escape so easily. He would hunt them down and take Ritsuka back. Soubi had no doubt that he was capable of more evil. Seimei’s possessiveness would not allow Ritsuka to be with anyone else but him. Recklessness would do nothing but harm to them, to Ritsuka. Soubi had nothing; no plans, no money, no status. All he had to offer is himself and he knew, he knew for sure that Ritsuka deserved better than his tainted self. No, he didn’t want to leave Ritsuka in Seimei’s clutch but he had no other option. Optimism and love wouldn’t be enough to battle Seimei.

He would lose. He could not lose Ritsuka again.

“I missed you.” Soubi whispered truthfully.

“Soubi…”

“I want to see you. I need to see you. I…”

A kiss stopped him. Soubi stared into deep amethyst eyes as Ritsuka softly stroke his face. Overwhelming affection brought tears to his eyes and he kissed Ritsuka’s palm to hide them. His heart leapt with joy and hopes, reminding him once more why he came to love the child.

“Then come see me some times. Seimei wouldn’t mind.”

The name brought a rush of dark thoughts back to his mind. Soubi pulled Ritsuka’s hand away, drawing a confused look from the boy. “Ritsuka, we mustn’t let him know.”

“Why?”

“Don’t let him know. Promise me, Ritsuka. Please, promise me.”

Ritsuka searched for an answer in Soubi’s face for a while before finally giving in. He nodded his acquiescence and Soubi rewarded him with a tender kiss. “You must let me know one day.” Ritsuka said they broke the kiss.

“I will. I promise.”

They spent several minutes kissing, touching, and whispering comfort to each other. For the first time in weeks, Soubi felt contentment began to sink back. He felt loved, wanted, protected. He knew for sure that this was where he wanted to be; with Ritsuka. He wished the time would stop, the world would narrow down to only them. He wished they could stay like this forever. Desire stirred back to life, stemmed from the need to confirm and preserve Ritsuka’s presence but they didn’t have the luxury of time and opportunity.

Ritsuka squirmed on his lap, undoubtedly feeling his returning need. “I have to go. Unless you want Seimei to find out.” He warned Soubi though his eyes also began to darken with lust.

Soubi shook his head and shared another lengthy kiss with Ritsuka, hoping to imprint his taste and feel and scent to help him last until they’d meet again. “You have to go.”

Somehow he managed to find the will to let Ritsuka go. He helped the boy redress and walk him back to the street. The walk seemed to short and his feet felt heavy. Soubi wished he could stop the boy from returning to Seimei but knew it’s not the right time yet. He watched longingly as Ritsuka approached the teary woman who had undoubtedly been searching for him in panic. The boy told her some placating words and led her back to the waiting car. He sent Soubi a quick glance before entering the vehicle, not wanting to break his promise.

As the car drove away, the emptiness returned. Uncertainty frightened him, the grim possibilities seemed imminent. Perhaps he had risked too much but he could wait no longer. He would get Ritsuka back somehow. He would find a way. He would prove himself worthy of Ritsuka. One day he would.

TBC

A/N: So, yeah. I hope this is good enough... My writing skill is very rusty...