Office Policy

Kurapica came in and threw her bag down, stripping as she walked.
“This isn’t going to work,” she complained. “I’m sure you’re going to be messy and spit clumps of toothpaste into the sink. I don’t like anyone enough to deal with the toilet seat left up, or whiskers on the counter, or – “
Leorio dropped his magazine, jumping in. “What about all the girly shampoos women have?”
“I don’t use perfume. I have four bottles: shampoo, conditioner, and two lotions. Also KY, but that’s not scented.”
“What’s wrong with you? Don’t you love me?”
“I can love you and not wear perfume. Wait – who said I loved you?”
“You’re scared.”
She looked away.
“Of what?”
“You’re going to be dirty and a huge hassle.” And then you won’t want me, I’ll get too annoying and I won’t compromise, and you’ll leave.
She twisted her hands, locking her fingers. But that would be better than nothing, wouldn’t it? Much better.
“You act like everything’s so hard.”
“It’s not hard. Alone. Everything is…a plan. But with other people, well,” Kurapica raised her eyebrows. “There’s always loss.”
“Loss? I’m not dying.”
Leorio caught her up into his arms and she grew tense and angry as a statue. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere alone to tide you over.”
She struck his arms off her.
“Ow! Kurapica – “
“Don’t use that authoritative tone.” She walked away.
Leorio sat down hard, throwing his arms out. He watched her for a moment. She folded her arms across her stomach and walked one way, then the other.
He leaned forward and started to stand as she came back.
“I’m sorry – “
“I’m afraid,” she said. “Of sex.”
“What?”
“Intercourse. I think it’ll hurt – I – “
“That’s why it’s called foreplay, honey. It won’t hurt.” He circled around trying to look her in the eyes. “I promise.”
“You’ve done it before.”
He smiled, curling his lip. “Yes, but it was nothing. An older woman. She didn’t care anymore. She’d probably have liked if I called, but she didn’t know me. Didn’t take the time, so why should I?”
Kurapica pulled her hand out of his and stalked away.
“Kurapica!”
“You’re a bad person.”
“No…”
“You are! You tricked me. You were really nice to me and you never said anything real about yourself and now I’m with you. You rude, childish, typical…” She wiped her face, covering her mouth. “You’re going to hurt me.”
“No. I’d never – “
Kurapica turned and stalked the other way.

Kurapica came in from the thunderstorm like a bedraggled cat.
Leorio lifted his empty plate from his lap and shut his laptop, which was blaring a House rerun. “Hey. I did a breakfast for dinner, since I wanted something hot. Can I get you and omelet?”
She nodded and handed him a print out. “I want to fix this.”
He didn’t take it. “You mean, surgery?”
“What? No. I mean I want to learn how to have sex, so I want to sign up for this.” She held out a sheet of paper. “It’s a retreat. It’s at a spa with a vineyard. I’m thinking I get a massage, go to the sauna, get wildly trashed and then we can figure it out.”
“That’s insulting,” he snatched the print out. “Oh, there’s cheesecake.”
“Organic. Look, I was at the cyber café on Ninth and rooted around. This guy is the best in the area. We would only miss two days of work.”
“He has facial tattoos!”
“And he’s bi, so he’ll understand both of us.”
“No-o,” Leorio sat down. “That is not how it works.”
Kurapica smirked. “Protecting your ass?”
“No! I’m not a phobe. I made out with my roommate when I got my MBA, two separate times.” He threw a victory sign. “So I’m just as freaky as you. But I don’t think this guy knows his ass from his rear.”
“Aren’t – “
“It’s a saying! Look at his face. And Hisoka – that’s not even a real name.”
“He’s published. He’s a doctor. He used to teach gender studies at UCLA.”
Leorio read. “And – the hell? Tarot, tantric breathing. Come on, I can show you this any time. And not for 4 grand.”
“I’m buying; it’s my treat. I want to do this, Leorio. I think my first time needs to be special and romantic and I want to!”
He clenched his fist and growled at her. “You’re such a child!”
“I want it!” She stamped her foot. “Come with me and stop being such a Young Republican about it.”
“This guy is obviously a fraud.”
“And I’m going to go alone and fuck him if you don’t come with me.”
“Why are you so stubborn!”
“Because I want your cock in me and you have all these red tape rental agreements about using it.”
Leorio roared and wrapped his arms around his head, dropping it to the table top with a thump. Kurapica, a little thrown off by it, came closer to chase him.
He grabbed her waist. She let him pull her onto his lap. Kurapica felt gleeful, flushed with yelling, and she scooted up until she could feel the arc of his cock.
“I’m sorry, Leorio,” she purred, grabbing his shirt, then rubbing his scratchy neck. She pressed her face into the cloth. Laundry, man, cologne all wafted up, a murky swamp of husband scent.
Husband, Kurapica thought. That’s what I want from him. I can’t say it though.
Hurt, he rubbed his hands loosely around her, trying to figure out why such a small woman could carry so much anger. “Why do you always yell at me? I think you like to.”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I like it. I don’t talk to a lot of people honestly.”
Leorio sighed and kissed her neck.
Husband, she thought again, the unwanted name. She rubbed against him, feeling full. “Hey. Maybe we can try it a few more times. I just thought it would be easier to do it once right. I’m scared that…every time it doesn’t work, I’ll never be able to. I want to. It just hurts.”
“Kurapica. I – “ he sighed, shaking his head. She knew he was miserable.
“I want you in me so bad,” she said, yanking on his collar. “Every time I see a movie or porn or anything where it’s happening, I’m sick, I’m so jealous.” She rolled her hips against him. “I walked past a carousel in the street last week and I was just staring at those golden poles pumping in and out.”
He laughed, pulling her forward. “You wanna ride me, horsey?”
She put her hands on his shoulders, feeling the slippery base of skin on bone, and lifted herself, coating his thighs with hers, grinding along his cock. “You’re my carousel. I get dizzy around you.”
He squeezed her ass, pumping up into her, then started to laugh. “Oh fuck.”
“Leorio?”
“Well, this isn’t the night to try. I just came. Sorry.”
“You’d better be.”
His eyes came up, lids drown. “Alright you. Enough of your sass. I’m going to wash you off with soap.”

---
(Please consider reviewing, because I use those reviews to get better and learn what you guys like! ~sincerely, Art)