The Scars Remind Us

When the explosion occurred, the wardens evacuated the visitation area. The few inmates that were left unattended were unsure what to do. Especially since Take was among them. Ran wished he had thought of a way to get his katana past the metal detectors.

“What’s happening?” Take demanded, taking hold of one of the inmates and shoving him to the floor.

Ran knew that in all the confusion, there would be plenty of time. He began to study the Plexiglas window carefully. “Stand back, Ken!”

Ken did as ordered, with only the faintest remnants of tears still lingering in the corners of his eyes. Ran stood up on the table like ledge and got a good grip on the top of the alcove. With a single kick, Ran had pushed the plastic window through. It landed with a thud on the floor beside Ken’s feet. Ran held out a hand to the younger boy.

Ken hesitated.

“Come on, Ken! Take my hand!”

“No!” A deep voice commanded from behind. “I just got him, and you’re sure as hell not taking him away from me, pretty boy!” Take stepped up behind Ken.

Ken felt his body start to shake even at the sound of that voice. He closed his eyes. He felt frozen to the spot. He wanted to run... but he couldn’t... he was just too scared. Ran jumped down from the ledge and took hold of Ken’s arm.

“You...” Ran glared hard at the burly inmate.

“I’ll kill you if you get in between me and my new favorite toy. No one steals from Tamachi Takeshiro!” The inmate balled his fists and braced his legs. “I don’t care what or who you are to him, that angel is mine, now!”

“Don’t underestimate me, scum.”

Take laughed. “I don’t care who you are, pretty boy. On the outside world I was a second-degree black belt, not to mention I killed three men with my bare hands. Choked them to death.”

Ran slipped his arm around Ken and pulled him back away from the large man, his eyes locked. “Ran...” Ran let his eyes momentarily wander down to Ken, who was shaking violently in his arm.

“Try and be strong for a little while, you can cry all you want when this is over. After all, once we get out of here, we’ve got to leave the country. I can get us headed to Germany before nightfall, and it’s a long plane ride. You’ll have plenty of time then.”

“You\'re awfully sure of yourself, aren\'t ya?” Take stepped forward. “Fuck you, pretty boy. You’re dead.” Take swung hard. Ran, taken off guard, was hit squarely in the jaw. Spitting out a mouthful of blood, Ran released Ken.

“Ken, start without me, I’ll catch up to you.”

“I can’t, Ran... I’m so scared, I—“

“Go!”

With a weak nod, Ken headed off. Ran watched him leave with a smile. “Good. Now I don’t have to hold back.”

Take grinned a toothy grin. A cackle escaped through the spaces in his teeth. “Not gonna hold back, huh? Just how I like it. Say, you’re even spunkier than your little boyfriend, beautiful, how about we make a wager, your body, my life.”

“You’re sick... that’s why you have to die.”

Ran swung at the larger man, missing by nearly a mile as the blow was easily dodged. Take, using his size to his advantage, barreled right into Ran’s chest before Ran even had a chance to move. Ran’s body wracked with pain as his back hit the hard tile floor. Colors invaded his vision for a brief second.

Take struck the redhead once, twice. Finally regathering himself, Ran caught the third punch between his hands, flicking his wrist and cracking Take’s knuckles. Take howled, grasping his hand. Taking the moment of opportunity granted to him, Ran swung his legs outward. Take gasped, his throat suddenly cut off of breath. The smaller man had wrapped his legs around Take’s neck and was attached like a vice. Take’s hands crawled up to the legs held fast around his neck, but for all his brute strength, he could not loosen their grip around his throat.

Ran could hear the panic in the man’s stuttered breathing. “I could kill you now.” Ran stopped, watching the fear well in Take’s sharp blue eyes. “But you raped Ken. I can’t let you die until you feel the fear he felt, until you feel the pain he felt.” The large man’s eyes went wide. Ran’s legs tightened around Take’s neck. “I’m not as sick as you! But if I were...” tighter yet, “if I were... I would break your arms, your legs... and I would go across the room over there, take that chair, break off one of the legs...” tighter, “...and stick it straight up your fucking ass! So tell me, how do you feel? Are you afraid yet? Are you afraid because you know you\'re going to die? You should be! You fucking should be!”

There was a snap. Ran let go, Take’s lifeless limbs hit the tiles with a sound somewhere between a slap and a thud. Ran felt a shudder go down the back of his spine.

******

Omi and Yohji reached the visitation room far too late. The inmates that were there must have fled after the explosion, maybe some of them even managed to escape. Omi just wished he knew which one Ken had done. He glanced over at Yohji, who had been antsy ever since the plans had changed. There was a frightened uncertainty about his every action. Omi wondered how he had changed so much since his days as a personal investigator.

“Wow, this place is a mess! Was there a riot in here?” Yohji approached the single corpse reluctantly. “H—hey, this is the prisoner guy who was supposedly keeping the other guys in line... do you think it was a mutiny?”

“I don’t think so, there’s not enough blood or bruises. Someone was probably trying to escape and he tried to stop them, but couldn’t...”

“Do you think it might’ve been Siberian?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think he has the mental stability to attempt an escape right now, knowing the way he is.” Omi approached the kicked out window and observed it carefully. There was a single boot print, but whoever kicked it out had done it from the outside...

Yohji kneeled down beside the cold body, pulling a kerchief from his pocket and putting it up to his nose and mouth. “Hey, Bombay! This guy’s neck was broken...”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t just do that, chibi, it’s way harder to break someone’s neck than they show in the movies.” Yohji pulled a single black glove over his right hand.

“Whoever did it, used their legs.”

Yohji looked over at the teen with a raised eyebrow. “With their legs? How can you tell that?”

Omi shook away the faint stench from the body. “Look at the bruises on his neck. They\'re wide, not separated like the ones from hands. Besides, taking in the considerably greater strength of legs, it would be far less difficult for someone who was properly trained to break his neck with their legs.”

Yohji smiled. “A regular Sherlock Holmes, eh? What else can you tell?”

“I can’t tell how many inmates escaped—“

“There are only two sets of footprints leading out of the booth, one of which was wearing boots.”

“The footprint on the window was from a boot. Not only that, but it wasn’t a break out, it was a break in. the window was kicked in from the outside.”

Yohji stood and walked over to the window, picking it up with his gloved hand. “How nice of them not to use glass, huh? It’s like I thought, this boot print is the same as the one on the booth.” Yohji laughed for a second, taking Omi by surprise.

“What’s so funny about this?”

“It just caught up to me that you’re a natural at this stuff! Maybe we should open a detective agency, just the two of us. We’d be rich in no time!”

“This is serious, Balinese!”

“Yeah, well we’ve spent too much time on this, you’re on your own now, Bombay. If I don’t get back to cellblock five, my cover’s gonna be blown and they’ll know I had something to do with this whole lot.” Yohji pulled a length of wire out of his pocket and cut it loose from the rest. “I’m gonna need a little... you can hold onto the rest of this, right? I can’t be caught with it on me.”

Omi smiled and gave the thumbs up. “Got it! Don’t worry, I’ll find Siberian. I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of where he is.”

******

Ken still couldn’t stop crying. He pressed his body against the wall of the alcove desperately. The police had arrived quickly, and he just knew if he moved that they’d catch him. Why am I doing this? He wondered, wiping the silent tears from his face. He peeked from the alcove cautiously. When he realized the coast was clear, he slipped out of his hiding place, only to slide into the next as soon as another wave of police came down the hallway.

I don’t know why I’m going through with this... oh God...

You\'re doing this because Ran told you to.

No way... I don’t take orders from Ran, not anymore.

No, not that. Because you still love him.

He wiped his face again. He knew it was true. He felt so stupid for letting his heart make him do such an irrational thing. No one just escapes from jail after being there for only three days. But what was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to feel? He wished someone could tell him, anyone. Every emotion in existence felt like it was entwined in a tight ball in his gut. He couldn’t tell where one ended and the next began. Anymore sensation and he felt like he could explode.

Footsteps faded down the hall. Ken took a deep breath and held it, trying to gather his wits before making another dash for it. He stopped. He could hear footsteps coming from the other direction now. He flattened himself on the opposite side of the alcove. It was too hard, just too hard. He didn’t know how much more of this he could handle before he was caught.

There was a flash of black and red.

Shit! Ran!

A hand shot out, gripping Ran’s arm for a second, then slipping off. By instinct he stopped and swung his arm around, sending an elbow in the direction of his assailant. The figure leaned back gracefully to avoid the swing, then took two small steps back. He did not swing back. Ran sighed and slumped his shoulders ever so slightly. It was just Ken.

“You... come on! Let’s go!” Ran turned and motioned for his younger companion to follow. Ken complied with a silent nod.

The two headed down the hallway at breakneck speed, their ears and eyes as sharp as tacks. At even the slightest hint of another presence, they slipped into an abandoned office room, taking a last moment to catch their breath before the final stretch. Ran sharply closed the door, then collapsed against it. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his trench coat. He glanced over at Ken, who was obviously only a little winded, but his mind was somewhere else completely.

“Ken...” Ran paused, uncertain, “what’s on your mind?”

Ken was taken aback slightly by the question, but he simply choked off a sigh and turned his head away from the redhead.

“Fine, I was just trying to talk.” Ran’s breathing began to return to normal.

“Ran... why?”

Ran turned toward the brunette. His throat caught for a second. “Because I’m a really bad liar... come on, let’s go.” Ken stared wide-eyed at his companion, not really sure what to think. Ran stood up and glanced out the window on the office door. “It’s clear, and we might not get another chance.”

******

It seemed like there was no way out. The doors had been barricaded, the windows had been barred. After all this they couldn’t get caught, they just couldn’t. Ken had been in the cell long enough, he couldn’t bear to see him just go right back in after all his effort, even if it had been spur of the moment. He had to think of something, and he had to think of it fast.

This would be so much easier with our assassin tools, Ran thought, coldly.

A sound caught Ran off guard. He spun around. There was Ken, a stool in his hand, forcing up a grating on the ceiling. Ran almost smiled. A little laugh left the back of his throat. Ken stopped and looked over at the amused redhead, confusedly. “I’m surprised, Ken.”

Ken blushed a little. “Yeah, me too...”

It took a little longer than was comfortable to force up the grating, and by then the stool was almost completely destroyed.

With only a slight boost, Ken pulled himself up into the grating. Apparently the heating ducts would have been too small to navigate through, as he had originally planned, but when he had knocked the grating up, he had completely detached the aluminum duct anyway. When he reached his hand down for Ran to come up, he made sure he alerted him to watch where he moved. One bad step and they could fall right through the ceiling. Ken could still feel himself shaking... but he didn’t feel so afraid anymore, he wasn’t sure why. It was probably just adrenaline, or maybe it was...

They had only moved about twenty feet when Ran stopped and began pounding out one of the tiles. It only took two pops to fall to the floor, where it crumbled into bits. “I knew it, the lobby is right here! If we can break through those six policemen...”

Voices down below, although mostly inaudible, made Ran realize his mistake. The policemen had obviously been alerted to their presence. He recognized the all too familiar sound of a gun being cocked. This was bad. If they were to go down there now, there was a good chance one or both of them could die... but there was no other choice. He looked over at Ken for a brief moment, then looked back down the hole. His eyes hardened. Out of his pocket he pulled a black ski mask and pulled it over his head.

He leapt down and charged straight at the policemen. The first rifle blast missed him completely. He doubted that the man had shot at anything but the sound of his approach. He closed in and two men had already been taken down by the time another rifle had been fired. This time Ran’s left shoulder had been grazed, though it didn’t stop him for more than a fraction of a second. Two of the gunmen suddenly dropped their rifles, giving Ran enough of an opening to knock the next three men to the ground as they scrambled to recover their fallen weapons. As Ran charged the last of his targets, the man suddenly stumbled, taking a risky glance behind him. It looked as though he had been struck in the back of the leg, but Ran paid no heed. The man was unconscious on the floor by the time it could have mattered.

By the time Ken had dropped to the floor and turned toward Ran’s position, the battle was already over. Ken stared in awe at the quick work Ran had made of the six men. It was inhuman... “Wow... Ran, you—“

“I think we had help.” Ran turned and grabbed hold of Ken’s arm. “But that doesn’t matter, now!”

******

For the first time all day, Ken finally had some time to think. His heart was still beating so fast, the tears still teetering on the brink of his eyes. His jaw muscles hurt. He tried to rub them, but it didn’t seem to be working. His legs hurt too, but that pain was easier to ignore. He looked down at the empty suitcase on his bed.

What was he supposed to do? Try and throw together the fragments of the life he used to have? What was the use? He contemplated not packing anything at all. For the third time his life had been taken away from him, and he had no say in it. The moment he had set foot in the jail he had lost this life, no... it was before that.

Maybe if he left everything behind he wouldn’t have to remember... Omi... Yohji... Weiss... His hands were shaking.

He didn’t want to go... but he had to. Heading over to his dresser, he pulled open his top drawer. He removed some underwear and socks from the drawer, then closed it, lethargically. He stopped. He still didn’t feel right about any of this. Ran never should have put his life on the line like that. Ran... God, that ice cold son of a bitch that Ken somehow found himself still in love with. Why Ran? Somewhere deep inside he hated himself for still allowing himself to be in love with him... though he doubted he could let go no matter how he tried.

They were supposed to start all over in Germany, but how? As long as Ran was there, Ken knew he wouldn’t be able to let go, not of him, not of his old life. He would have the same hurts, only in a new place... a new, lonely place. He should’ve stayed in jail or... or died when he had the chance.

There was a gentle rapping at his door. He tried his best to ignore it, but the figure outside simply pushed open the door and took a few steps in. He stared down at the items in his hands.

“We only have half an hour left before we have to leave.” Ran’s voice was like daggers in Ken’s ears. “You should hurry. We have to talk.”

“There\'s nothing to talk about.”

Ran stepped over to the younger boy and gingerly scooped the clothes out of his hands, placing them in the empty suitcase and closing it. “Liar.”

Ken gritted his teeth. As direct as ever. He wished just once that Ran would beat around the bush or sugar coat it. “I can’t stand it. I feel like you hate me.”

“If I hated you I wouldn’t have broken you out of jail.”

“If you needed me you would have.”

“I don’t need you.” Ken felt a jolt run the length of his body. Ran didn’t mean it that way... he just couldn’t...

“You... you should have left me there! I don’t want go to Germany, and I don’t want be here with you now! I just want to disappear and be completely wiped from everyone’s memory!” He was having trouble keeping the desperate tone from his voice, especially once his chin started quivering.

Ran almost looked as though he had been taken aback by his companion’s words. “You don’t want to be here with me?”

Ken’s head dropped and he curled into his knees to hide his tears from the older assassin. “I don’t want your pity and I don’t want you to try and make things better... you said you don’t love me once, and I-I don’t need to hear you say it again... you don’t have any obligation to me... so just leave me alone.”

“It’s too late for that, Ken.” Ran sighed and sat beside the brunette, resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He felt the younger boy tense up under his touch. “I’ve had a lot of time to think, Ken. And in all that time, I realized something about you.” Ran rubbed his chin and paused, he wasn’t sure why. “The reason you fell victim to your emotions... wasn’t because you were weak, it was just that... the emotions were so strong it was impossible NOT to collapse beneath them. So... maybe if it were good emotions you were feeling, they’d make you that much stronger...”

Ken scoffed bitterly. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Some of us never realize what’s there until it’s gone, ne?”

“What are you talking about?”

Ran sighed heavily and stood up, grabbing Ken’s suitcase with his right hand. He started to speak, then walked out the door, a quick pace in his footsteps.

The redhead stopped in the living room and stared intently at the second suitcase, which was lying on the green couch. “Sometimes maybe we do realize it... and maybe we’re just frightened, or maybe we’re just trying to keep up our mask...”

“You? Scared? Why do I doubt that?”

Ran shook his head. “Not scared for me, really... but for the people around me.” He sighed. “Killers find no place in the real world. We can’t blend in no matter how we try. We can’t really talk to normal people, we can’t understand them or even feel the same emotions they do. We cannot love them because we are like a different species all together. We do not have the right to love them. You know that... I know you do.”

Ken felt himself going a little cold on the inside. “What does that have to do with me, Ran? Are you telling me now that I don’t even have the right to love anybody?” He paused. “If that’s it... I already know... I don’t have the right to do it... but I still do it anyway. I don’t understand why, but I do.”

“Then I stop and think ‘what about each other...?’ and the same thing pops into my head. To love each other would just bring that same pain and suffering closer to our own doors... and then I think ‘that will just make it hurt more’. We don’t really have the right to love each other, either. We don’t have the right to love anyone... we don’t have the right because we are afraid of hurting those we love. We are afraid that some of the blood on our hands will transfer over, and even to do that to one another, whose hands are also sullied... still seems like an irredeemable sin.” He put a hand through his red locks. “That is why I locked my heart up. So I couldn’t hurt anyone... and so they could try to hurt me all they wanted, and never get to me. In a way, it worked... on the outside, it worked. But with each time I pierced a heart with my cold words, I realized the pain just stayed inside that little box, where it ravaged the inside of my heart. I figured, if I just left it alone, let the pain consume me, that eventually it would go numb. It didn’t work.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Ken’s eyes softened a little.

“I was scared, Ken... when I realized you might be... might be becoming me.” There was a long pause. “Omi told me something the other night, and the more I think about it... the more it sinks into me.” He stopped, rubbing a gloved hand across his face. “It kept recurring in my mind, stealing into my dreams and even forcing its way into my daytime thoughts. He said that the reason we still love is because we are still human, and that under our blood crusted souls was something still real... maybe even still clean. As long as we continue to love we continue to be human and if we let go of that, there really is no reason to exist... then... he told me... he told me I was just scared.” Ran cupped a hand over his mouth. “And he was right. And my fear was pulling a blind over my eyes. Who knows for how long.”

“You mean that—“

“That night I heard the screams, but I couldn’t move for the life of me. That’s when I knew I really was scared. I began to question myself, my motives... my feelings. I wondered why certain, seemingly pointless things sometimes bothered me. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure it out.”

“Ran—“

Ran put up a finger. “Then you ended up in jail... and things started to change. I was restless, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat... it was like something was missing, some part of me that let me live a daily life. I began to think about you, just randomly, out of nowhere. Little things reminded me of you... I think it was the same for the other guys, too.”

Ken gave a shaky smile. “It’s okay, Ran, I understand. I—“

“I don’t think you do.” Ran stopped, brushed back his hair, sighed. “I...”

“I...”

“I...”

“What is it, Ran?”

“I...”

Sharp violet eyes locked onto him. He felt a shiver down his spine. “Don’t force yourself to talk, if you do the words won’t come out, or if they do—“

“Oh, shut up... Ken” His sentence trailed off softly as he pressed his lips against Ken’s, placing his hands firmly around the younger boy’s slim waist. Ken’s eyes widened momentarily. Ken fell into the man he loved, almost consumed by him.

So warm. It was so warm.