Yo-Yo

Yo-Yo
Chapter 8: Shift into Focus
By: ChaoticSpecter

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. This is being written for entertainment only.

A/N: Moving back into Taichi's POV; I hope you enjoyed Yamato's. If you don't know by now, this story involves to males in a romantic relationship. If that bothers you, please do not read any further.

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It has been a few weeks since Yamato and I had our talk. We haven't told anyone about our relationship, but that is because I don't want to tell anyone yet. I just want to enjoy everything without any drama; bask in Yamato's undivided attention. He has been true to his word--so far. He's not nearly as demanding as he was before, he hasn't looked at anyone else, and he is very attentive...very loving. And I can't help but think that it's just a matter of time before things go back to the way they were. I can't help it. Things were so wrong for so long that I can't help but think that Yamato is just doing what he thinks he has to before I give--like I did at the slightest for over a year. I hate this. I hate the doubt even after Yamato has done everything I've asked; submitted to my rules for so long and has finally given me the answers I've craved.

I just can't believe that this all happened because he wanted me. It's so simple and so fucked up at the same time. It's so hard to reconcile our past relationship with what we have now and I still need time to adjust. It's too new and it frightens me in a lot of ways. Yamato is serious about this. I know he is. There are no more calculated looks or cutting remarks; for the most part everything is the way it used to be. He's my best friend. We can talk because that's all I let him do for so long. But it's different--there's intimacy; the intimacy that we couldn't have because of Yamato's neurotic behavior.

I'm not the only one that needs to get used to this. At times I catch Yamato looking at me in disbelief and he tells me that he is expecting to wake up from an extremely vivid, heartbreaking dream. But it is real. Takeru and Hikari are happy that we made up and that we are hanging out again, but Keru wants to know what went wrong. He is concerned that his brother will make the same mistake again no matter how much Yamato assures him. That makes me a little paranoid. Kari has accepted that we've made up and I'm happy. She was so worried about me. It's enough for her to know that the problem is solved and that Yamato has apologized and sworn never to make the same mistake again. However, Takeru is insistent. This scares Yamato because Takeru looks up to him. He is afraid that his brother will find out just how fucked up he can be. I think he is ashamed.

The thought gives me much pleasure. Does that make me a bad person? Being pleased by Yamato's shame? I feel justified in my pleasure though. I felt ashamed almost everyday; ashamed of myself, ashamed of Yamato....so much shame. And yet I felt helpless to stop it all. Why did he have to push me so far before I stopped it? I feel ashamed just thinking about it-- Ashamed that I'm so happy with him now. Deep down I know that this is the real reason that I don't want anyone to know. Shame. The shame that they may one day find out all that happened without their knowledge. It's laughable. A year ago all I wanted was to have Yamato tell everyone; wanted them to know that we were together, that we were happy-- That I loved him.

Now, I just want to wait. Wait until I can't wait anymore and I think Yamato knows it. I can see it in the way he sometimes looks at me. But I can't care about that. As far as I'm concerned, he's just finding out how I felt all that time. I'm no longer angry with him and I don't want him to hurt, but I can't bring myself to care about him feeling that way. There is no need for revenge, I just don't care--my empathy got me into the problem in the first place. I've changed more than I thought and the longer we are together the more Yamato realizes. But who can he blame but himself?

Tomorrow we are going to meet up with the rest of the digidestined at a party Mimi is throwing. I don't want to go, but everyone will be there and it has been a while since we've all got together. I also don't want to deal with everything else I know will come along with going. The party is not just for the digidestined, Mimi's having a birthday party. Yamato just might pull something. It will be our first time out in public since we started dating and no one knows....I can't wait.

"Taichi," Yamato's voice startled me from my thoughts and I turned away from the window to face him. "Don't worry. I know you don't want to go to this party, but it'll be fine."

"I'm not worried."

"How many times do I have to tell you that you can't lie to me, sweetheart?" Yamato soothed while wrapping his arms around me. I sighed heavily.

"All right, I'm worried. Are you happy?"

"Don't worry, baby," he whispered dragging his finger through my hair. "The only one I want is you. I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry I treated you so badly. I-"

"Don't," I said stopping his speech. "You don't need to apologize. You've already done it. Just stop. I know you're sorry, I know you want to be with me," I whispered. "It's fine." Yamato tightened his hold and I could only hope I was worried for nothing.

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I knew I was right to worry about coming to this stupid party as soon as we walked through the door. After saying our hellos and giving Mimi our gifts, Yamato was immediately surrounded by his adoring fans. I was repulsed by the sight of their fawning and left him alone. I all I could think about was what happened in the past; how Yamato would give his suave smile and preen under their attention and eventually choose one to be his adoring girlfriend. It sickened me. I could see it happening all over again, just like it did with Karen; and what a kick to the gut that was. I didn't want to watch it happen like I did so many times before. I was more interested in a stiff drink. I would need several if I was going to make it through the night. My search took me to the kitchen where I found Daisuke and Ken flirting shamelessly. Takeru was there, too. I went straight for the bottles.

I took a couple shots and was about to take a third before Takeru stopped me. "What's wrong, Tai?" he asked gripping my wrist.

"Nothing. Let me go," Takeru narrowed his eyes in response.

"What did he do?" he growled.

"What are you talking about?" I knew Takeru would be a problem. Damn him.

"What did Yamato do? Are you fighting again?"

"He didn't do anything and we aren't fighting."

"Then why are you drinking like this?"

"I've only had a couple shots, Teeks. You're acting like I'm wasted. Chill out."

"You seem upset," he said voice laced with concern.

"Look, Keru, I'm fine. Really. I just didn't feel like coming out tonight. I just want to loosen up," Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because Takeru got suspicious again. Luckily, I was stopped from answering when Yamato walked into the room. Oh Joy! More drama. I wish I had my drink.

"Hey. Why'd you disappear?" he asked as soon as he saw me.

"Felt like a drink," Yamato's eyes narrowed in suspicion and he opened his mouth to speak, but Takeru interrupted him.

"What did you do?" he growled. Yamato was startled for a moment before becoming indignant.

"I didn't do anything. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Then why is Tai upset?" he demanded.

"I'm not upset, Takeru," I hissed, but he continued as if he didn't hear me.

"Did you hurt him again?" Yamato looked stricken for a moment before turning to me.

"I'm fine. He's just overreacting," I said in an attempt to soothe him. "You know how Keru is. When he's got it in his head that something is wrong, he won't see reason."

"Hey! I'm right here, Taichi. And I know what I'm talking about. You had that look on your face again. I know something’s wrong."

"What look?" Yamato demanded.

"The look he had when you were being an asshole and almost fucked off your friendship." Yamato immediately turned to me in concern.

"Tai, what's wrong?" he asked voice soft and uncertain. I glared at Takeru in response. This is not what I wanted. I just wanted to have a few drinks and pretend I wasn't feeling so miserable. That's all I wanted. Damn you Takeru. And damn Yamato for being here, too. He should still be with his adoring fans.

"Nothing is wrong, Yama," I said giving him a soft smile and pulling him close. "Everything is fine." Yamato wrapped his arms around me and crushed me against his chest in response. "It's okay, sweetheart," I whispered in his ear.

"Then why did you look like that?" Takeru asked refusing to be ignored.

Yamato pulled away from me at that, just far enough to stare into my eyes, and brought his hands up to cup my face. Damn you Takeru. Damn you for making him look at me like this.

"What did I do, baby?" he asked earnestly, eyes begging me for the truth.

"You didn't do anything," I insisted.

"I saw your face, Taichi. You looked like you were in pain," Takeru said all traces of anger gone. I managed to tear my eyes from Yamato's and gave Takeru a heated stare.

"Why can't you be silent?" I asked. Takeru looked startled and Yamato grew uncertain. "You didn't do anything, Yamato. You know that I've been feeling a bit stressed lately-"

"Because of me," he said sadly.

"No, because of me," I said sighing heavily. "I'm just...I'm just a little scared is all," I whispered.

"You think I'll hurt you again," he stated, voice void of emotion.

"No-"

"Don't lie, baby," he said giving a dry laugh. "I always told you, you don't lie well."

I pulled away from Yamato, glaring at Takeru. "Why are you doing this? I told you I was fine, but you just had to push," I growled. Takeru looked shocked and I distantly heard the startled gasps of Daisuke and Ken in the background. I'd forgotten about them.

"I just don't want him to hurt you again-"

"And we've told you a thousand times that everything is fine. It's all worked out, but you don't listen. You can't leave anything alone." Takeru's face was a mask of hurt.

"This is why I can't leave it alone, nii-chan," he said, voice strained, eyes shining. "You still act like this. It's a lot better than it was before, but you're so...bitter, angry, and resentful. I don't know what it is, but you don't act like yourself. I know you're lying."

"No, Takeru, no one is lying. Everything is fine. You know that people change; you need to accept that about me. I can't be the way I was before and I'm sorry that hurts you, but that's the way things are."

"If you want someone to blame, you can just keep blaming me," Yamato said in an emotionless voice.

"What did you do to him?" Takeru asked in angered confusion.

"Nothing you need to know about," he replied before grabbing me by the hand and dragging me from the kitchen.

Yamato dragged me into an empty bedroom and pushed me inside before he let me go. "Okay, Taichi," he said voice grim. "You're going to tell me what's wrong and you're going to tell me now." Oh. Shit. This is new. I never thought this would happen. He shouldn't be here demanding answers, he should be chatting up some girl and I should be drinking myself into a stupor. I know we’re dating, but I didn't actually expect him to take it seriously. I can't believe Yamato is actually keeping his promises. Shit. "Taichi," he growled when I was quiet for too long.

"Uh...what do you want me to say?" I asked uncertainly. Yamato never seriously asked what was wrong. Never. Not in all the time we were together before. He sighed and his face softened before he approached me, cupping my face in his hands. I leaned into him, craving his touch.

"Tai-chan," he whispered while staring into my eyes. "Please tell me. I don't want a repeat of last time and I know that you don't either. Don't bottle up your feelings; we need to communicate. You told me how you felt and I ignored you in my selfishness--I won't make the same mistake and you shouldn't take my shit without complaint. We're both to blame for what happened last time. I am most responsible; I fucked up royally, but baby, you have to talk to me. I can't make it right if you never say anything. What did I do?"

“You didn’t do anything, Yama. I promise. You did nothing. I was…I was just expecting—”

“You were expecting me to act like the bastard I was before,” Yamato said and I looked up startled.

“No, Yama, I—”

“Don’t make excuses for me. Tell me how you feel. I told you, we need to communicate. You feel this way for a reason. Tell me what I did.” I pulled away from Yamato and went to sit on the bed. Yamato just watched me until I began to speak.

I sighed heavily before finally speaking. “You were right this whole time you know? I was worried…am still worried that everything will just go back to the way it was before. We’ve been by ourselves this whole time--in your apartment, at my place, but never anywhere hanging out with anyone else. Not since before…”

“Before I made you so angry you wouldn’t see me,” Yamato said giving a self-depreciating laugh. “I understand. I know why you’d feel like that given how I acted. You shouldn’t worry that you will hurt my feelings if you tell me how you feel. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell me either. More importantly, you should not prepare yourself to just accept anything I do,” he said coming to stand in front of me. “If you don’t want me to do something, tell me. If you don’t like something someone else does, tell them,” he said kneeling at my feet. “I’m yours; you don’t owe anyone any explanations. It’s your right.” One of his hands came up to cup my face, thumb slowly stroking skin.

“Don’t be afraid to say anything, baby. I told you I’ll do anything for you and I meant it,” he said gaze intense. “Of course, I’ll expect the same thing from you. You know I’m a possessive man,” he said chuckling a little.

“Jealous, you mean,” I whispered tears gathering in my eyes. I didn't expect this. Everything is so different now. Yamato is actually serious about me. He left his fan girls when I did; he came looking for me and I wasn't gone five minutes. He was concerned, is still concerned because Takeru told him he hurt me. He's reassuring me--wants us to communicate. I can't believe it. I was so overwhelmed the tears began to fall.

"Don't cry, baby. I'm sorry," he whispered and I pulled him into a fierce kiss. I couldn't help it.

"I'm not sad," I whispered against his lips, voice strained with tears. "I'm happy. You make me so happy..." I'd barely finished speaking before Yamato's mouth was on mine again. He pushed me onto the bed holding me tightly. He pulled away for a moment, staring at me with a tender look upon his face.

"You make me happy, too, Taichi," he whispered before collapsing on top of me, claiming my lips again. One of his hands slipped beneath my shirt caressing the the sensitive skin of my sides while the other grasped the hair at the base of my skull forcing my head back, deepening our kiss. His tongue probed every inch of my mouth he could reach, while his body pressed tightly against my own. I moaned submissively in response. Gods, I loved it when he was like this; so focused on me it was like he was trying to burn the feel of himself into me. I trembled and spread my legs, inviting him to press closer.

"Yama-kun," I moaned helplessly when he pulled away from my mouth and started to blaze a trail of wet kisses down my neck. And when he reached my collarbone, all I could do was whine and writhe beneath him. Yamato gave a deep groan in response and one of his hands slipped toward my waist, tugging at the button on my jeans. Oh, how I burned. I wanted him inside me so badly. I didn't think it was possible to want him more than I already did. "Please," I whined. I wanted whatever he would give me; to submit however he wanted me.

Yamato gave a breathless chuckle, pulling down my zipper, hand slipping beneath the waistline, urging the material over my hips. "Whatever you want, baby," he said in a breathless voice. Then, his hand wrapped around me and I was lost. My existence narrowed to the feel of Yamato's hand stroking my shaft alternately giving the barest of sensation and stroking me so harshly I feared I would spill myself too soon. I wrapped myself around him, fingers diging into flesh, arching into his touch. It was so good and I was so close, but I wasn't getting what I really wanted. I began tugging at the waistband of his jeans trying to fish him out, but my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't get the button undone. Yamato chuckled again and pulled back just enough to do it for me. My hands immediately dove under the waistline, pushing the offending material out of the way.

Yamato gave a deep groan of satisfaction as I freed his aching length from his constricing jeans. I savored that sound a moment before wrapping fingers around him and giving an experimental tug. Yamato bucked into my hand and sucked harshly at my neck in response. I shuddered anticipating the feel of him buried deep inside me. "Tai-chan," he rasped once he got himself under control, feathering kisses along my shoulder.

"Yama please" I whined pulling him flush against me, moaning deeply as our erections brushed. "Please." Yamato pulled away and I wanted to protest, but I stopped once I noticed why he moved. He tugged at the material of my jeans impatiently, dragging them down my body, tossing them aside and settling himself aganist me once again when he was finished. I sighed in contentment and Yamato reclaimed my mouth, forcing his tongue inside urgent and demanding. I was so focused on the feel of his mouth on mine that I didn't notice the hand sliding down my body until it touched my entrance. I inhaled deeply in respose, hole twitching with my desperation to be filled. "Yama," I sighed desperately.
Yamato's warm breath ghosted along the skin of my neck, lips trailing, teasing until he reached my ear "What do you want, baby," he growled, breath fanning the lobe, voice barely restraining his lust.

"I want....I want," I began panting heavily, willing the words to come, my mind to settle.

"What do you want?" he asked again finger ghosting over my most private place and I shuddered hard, thoughts scattering. "Tai-chan," he whispered once I'd calmed enough. "Tell me."

"I-" but I never got to finish. The bedroom door opened, the music from the party spilling into the room. Yamato reacted first, jumping up to block me and I hid behind him. Peering over his shoulder I was met with a scene I didn't know how to deal with. Takeru was standing in the opened doorway, a shocked look on his face. I ducked back behind Yamato and buried my face in his back. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!!!!!!!!



To be continued.................


A/N: I know it's a bit late in coming, but not as late as the previous chapter. Let me know what you think!