The Bad Adult Anime Fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Galaxy Angel, Kannan does. However, I really, really wish I had Forte! *cries* Oh, Forte is just TEH HAWT!! She WILL BE MINE!!! *wants Forte* (A)

Summary: Refs ubuswq dreg bomi Marty Stu pokk wasshoi!

Chapter VIII: Galaxy Angle (B)

Marty Stu bamfed onto the Elle Ciel. This sat off the intruder alarms.(C) The Galaxy Angels quickly assembled and Forte pointed her gun at Marty Stu's head.
"All right, who are you and why are you here?" Forte asked.
"Do we have to shoot him? He's really hot!" Ranpha said.
"I am Marty Stu, and I mean you no harm. I was teleported onto your ship by accident." Marty Stu said. Forte lowered her gun.
"Well, in canon, I'd probably want to take you to the commander for questioning, but since this is a badfic, I'll just say welcome aboard." Forte said. Ranpha took Marty Stu by the arm.
"How would you like a tour of the ship?" Ranpha asked in a sexy voice.
"Lord, help us out of this badfic." Vanilla said. Forte took Marty Stu by the other arm. "I want to show him the ship." Forte said.
"Hey babes, there's plenty of me to go around." Forte and Ranpha dropped his arms like hot potatoes.
"Aw man, he's girl-crazy." Ranpha said.
"Well, you're boy-crazy, so it's a perfect match!" Milfeulle said in a cheerful voice.
"C'mon, this is a bad adult fic. Things like being boy or girl crazy don't matter here." Marty Stu said.
"Damn your logic. Fine, we'll get into another crappy bizarre love triangle." (D) Ranpha said. "Just remember that I'm the one who's more likely to put out in canon."
"^_^" Milfeulle said. (E) She politely bowed and returned to her chores. Mint And Vanilla returned to their duties as well. Forte and Ranpha led Marty Stu all over the ship. They took him to the various rooms. Forte wanted to linger in the ship's cannon room, but Ranpha wouldn't let her. Ranpha wanted to linger in the observation deck, where there was a good view of the stars, but Forte wouldn't let her. That's when things turned ugly.
"I wanna stay here! This is a nice romantic spot!" Ranpha said.
"This dump is as romantic as a cesspool." Forte said.
"Your idea of a romantic spot is the gun deck, you lush." Ranpha snapped back.
"Lush!? At least I don't throw myself at every guy I meet!" Forte shouted.
"Ladies, calm down, please." Marty Stu said. "Let's be reasonable here. Both of you are right. Both places can be romantic."
"How the hell can a gun deck be romantic?" Ranpha asked.
"If it's what turns you on, then it's romantic. (F)" Marty Stu replied.
"That makes no sense at all but since you're really hot and this is a badfic, I'm gonna let it slide." Ranpha said.
At the end of the tour, Ranpha, Forte and Marty Stu were in the Elle Ciel's garden.
"Okay pal, it's choosing time. Which one of us is it gonna be?" Ranpha asked.
"Well, both of you are hot and a guy would be lucky to get either of you, and I really want both of you, and you're really hot, but I'm picking Forte." (G) Marty Stu said. Ranpha bust into tears.
"Why does Forte get the guy and not me!?" Ranpha sobbed.
"Bad fanfic rule #53: When in doubt, go with the one that has the biggest tits." Marty Stu responded. "Besides, my author has a very unhealthy fixation with large-busted redheads."
Ranpha cried. "WAAAAAAH!! Why couldn't the writer have an unhealthy fixation with blondes!?" (H)
"Well, I'll bang you when I'm done with Forte." Marty Stu said.
"I don't want sloppy seconds! I want a hot hunk!" Ranpha whined.
"Oh, you'll get one sooner or later. But not in this story." Marty Stu said.
"$%&#@ crapfics." Ranpha said.
Forte took Marty Stu back to the dining room. There Milfeulle was making lunch.
"So what's on the menu?" Forte asked.
"I'm making sushi. We've got a lot here." Milfeulle said.
"What do you have with it?" Forte asked.
"There's yakitori as well." Milfeulle said.
"Mmm... my favorite." Marty Stu responded. (I)
"Mine too." Forte said. "It goes well with vodka and sake."
"Well, better get back to it. I wouldn't want the Gari to overcook now." Milfeulle said. (J)
Minutes later lunch was served and everyone sat down at the table.
"Lord, thank you for these bountiful gifts." Vanilla said.
"You can say that again." Marty Stu thought as he eyed Forte's copious mountains. He knew better than to say this aloud, for he was Marty Stu, after all.
Forte loaded up on vodka and sake as they had lunch. Marty Stu had some sake as well, and everyone enjoyed lunch. Afterwards, Forte and Marty Stu went to the practice range and went to do some target practice. (K)
The guns they used did not fire bullets, but used light beams to calculate accuracy.
"Let's make a bet here. If I get a perfect score, I get a kiss. I you get one, I'll take my shirt off." Marty Stu said. Forte gave a light smile.
"Get ready to lose your shirt." Forte said.
Forte and Marty Stu took shots at the targets, and then totaled it up. Both of them got a perfect score. Marty Stu removed his shirt per their agreement. Forte then put her arms around Marty Stu and pulled him close.
"Mmm... I love having a broad, muscular chest against mine." Forte said. Marty Stu merely went in for the kiss. As their lips touched, passion measureless to man moved between them. It was sheer bliss for FOrte (L) to have a hot hunk like Marty Stu in her arms. They held each other close as they kissed. They kissed for a very long time to the casual observer; to them, forever would not have been long enough. When they came up for air, an alarm sounded.
"The forces of Eonia are attacking! Galaxy Angels, report to your ships at once!" The voice said.
"God damnit, why does this always happen!?" Marty Stu thought as Forte parted from him.
"I gotta go, but I'll be back." Forte said.
"You got any spare ships? I'll fight with you." Marty Stu said.
"Well... there is one ship we have... the Loving Orchid. It's very temperamental and can be controlled by only the best fliers." Forte said.
"I haven't had any fighter training. But that shouldn't matter. I am Marty Stu, after all. Bring it on!" Marty Stu replied.
Shortly thereafter, he was in the cockpit of the Loving Orchid, reading the instruction manual. After a few pages, he managed to start the Loving Orchid and fly it out of the hangar. He joined the other Galaxy Angels and followed them into battle. (M)
"We're out numbered and outgunned. We're in trouble!" Mint said.
"We can win this if we just think it through." Marty Stu said. He shot first, sending an Eonian fighter out of control and into a passing comet. Forte was next, and her shot sent one fighter into another. On and on it went, fighters battling and shooting at each other, until one of them was hit. The Happy Orchid (N) had its engine hit because 12 fighters ganged up on Marty Stu at once. The Happy Orchid spun out of control and fell into a star.
"MARTY STU!! 1!!1!!1!!!1!!(O)" Forte shouted."
"NO!!!" Ranpha added.
Forte unleashed the Happy Trigger's firepower and blew away about half of the Eonian fighters. The others took care of the rest. Forte and company went back to the Elle Ciel.
"Marty Stu... he died saving out lives..." Forte sobbed.
"I'll miss him." Ranpha said.
Forte went to her room to cry. However, once she got there, she saw something that filled her with joy: Marty Stu was standing there, holding two glasses and a fifth of vodka.
"Marty Stu...? This can't be real!" Forte said through the tears.
"I assure you that reports of my death were greatly exaggerated." Marty Stu replied.
"I don't know how you survived but since this is a badfic I'm not getting my hopes up for an explanation." She said. Forte then threw her arms around Marty Stu and kissed him. They felt the intense passion of love move between them. When they came up for air, Forte reached down and stroked Marty Stu's stiffening soldier.
"Let's just get to the part where we fuck." Forte said.
"You want it, you'll get it." Marty Stu replied.
Clothing vanished like autumn leaves. (P) Forte exposed her incredible tits and tight gash that lay next to a small bar of red hair. Marty Stu lay down and invited Forte to suck his cock. Instead, she sat on his face and spread her legs wide, offering Marty Stu her hot hole to lick. Marty Stu did so, but also guided Forte's head to his boner. Forte took Marty Stu's tool into her mouth, thus completing the 69. He gave him the best head he had ever had. She licked and sucked his cock until he was near coming. His cock was very tasty and seemed to invite Forte to suck it more. On the other end, Forte was getting the best head she had ever gotten. Her slit was very sweet and begged for tongue and cock. Marty Stu couldn't get enough of Fotre's incredible cocksucking, and Forte couldn't get enough of Marty Stu's cunningulus. Both of them wanted to keep this going forever. Marty Stu loved the feel of Forte's mouth around his cock; it was like it was meant to go there. A good while after Forte started getting wet; Marty Stu put his lips on her clit and started humming. Forte spat out his hard rod and started screaming her pleasures. "GOD YES!!!!! MORE!!!" She shouted. Marty Stu did so until she came. Then they shifted around and Marty Stu slid his turgid love stick deep into Forte's eager beaver.
Forte seized his rod hard, squeezing it with that vise between her legs. Forte gasped and moaned as they fucked long and hard. Marty Stu felt absolutely wonderful fucking Forte's tight twat. He wished he could keep his meat in her locker forever; however, after a bit of ramming her, Forte achieved her climax, crashing into a tidal wave of orgasmic pleasures. Then she came again; Marty Stu had given her multiple orgasms. Forte had 10 orgasms in a row. Forte screamed as she did this. (Q)
After her climax, Forte collapsed onto her bed. "Ooh... that was the best experience I've ever had." She moaned.
"Hey... wait a minute! I haven't come yet!" Marty Stu said.
"That was really... draining... I gotta rest... before I can do more." Forte said out of breath (R)
"Shit. I knew I should have chosen Ranpha." Marty Stu said.
"She couldn't have... gone on as... long as I did..." Forte said, still out of breath.
"Fuck. Why can't I find a babe that can satisfy me!?" Marty Stu wangsted. (S) "That's it, I'm leaving this world." He put on his clothes and bamfed out.
"Damn. I'm having Ranpha's luck in getting a guy." Forte said. Ranpha entered and looked Forte over.
"So are you done with Marty Stu yet?" She asked. (T)
"He was the best guy I ever fucked." Forte said. "But I couldn't make him come."
"Oh, yoo-hoo! Marty Stu-sama! (U) You've still haven't tried me yet!" Ranpha said.
"He's gone, Ranpha-chan." Forte said.
"Damn. I wanted him!" Ranpha said.
"You want any bishonen you meet." Forte said.
Nearby, Vanilla was walking down a hallway, holding Normad. "Thank the Lord this bad fanfic is over. I am glad they did not turn me into a slut." She said.

(A) Nothing will turn off your audience more than making it painfully obvious that you've got a very unhealthy fixation with a character from the get-go.
(B) At least get the name of the fandom right. It's Galaxy Angel! It's also shame this fandom isn't more popular. visit http://www.bro-usa.com for more info on G.A. Also, if you write in an obscure fandom, don't expect tons of hits. Also, please make your summaries with real words that make sense.
(C) Just because a spelling error doesn't set off the spellchecker, that is no reason to leave it in.
(D) Love triangles are really overused, aren't they? Btw, Forte doesn't really fall in love that much in canon.
(E) Smileys do NOT belong in a fic! >_< Just how the hell do you enunciate ^_^ anyway!? Keep smileys only in the author's notes, if you must use them.
(F) Don't write yourself into a corner, and then give some convoluted explanation for everything to get out of it.
(G) Don't use run-on sentences separate every sentence with a period and make your thoughts clear.
(H) Don't make it painfully obvious that you have an unhealthy fixation with a certain type of person. This seems to occur most in RPS fics.
(I) It's o.k. for lovers to like the same foods. Just don't go overboard with commonalities. Even identical twins have some differences between them.
(J) Gari is ginger soaked in vinegar. It doesn't need to cook. Do your research before you write about something!
(K) Guns and alcohol are a very deadly combination. Don't handle both at the same time. Kurt Cobain had guns and drugs at the same time, and look what it did to him. Alcohol is a drug. In addition, Forte prefers projectile weapons over lasers.
(L) Be careful! Don't let the caps key stick.
(M) Pretty crappy name for a fighter, isn't it? Marty Stu sure learned how to fly that spaceship pretty fast, didn't he? It takes years of training to learn how to fly a real spacecraft.
(N) Don't suddenly change the name of something right in the middle of things. This name is even more vapid than the other.
(O) If you're going to use a bunch of exclamation points, make sure they are exclamation points and not ones.
(P) Don't mix similes. "Clothing fell like autumn leaves" or "Clothing vanished like magic" would have been better.
(Q) Few women ever achieve multiple orgasms. It's biological in nature. Not only that, when they do have multiple orgasms, they have about 3 at most. Ten is WAY too many.
(R) Don't omit punctuation. Check yourself carefully before you submit.
(S) I bet you saw this coming. Being too predictable will make the fans dislike you. In real life, this probably would have been reversed; Marty Stu would have come long before Forte, and she'd be the one angry about it.
(T) How did Ranpha know that Marty Stu was alive? We'll never know. For that matter, Forte looks pretty blasé for someone who had someone else walk in while they were completely naked. How would you feel if you were lying naked on your bed and then someone else walked in?
(U) Of course, everyone wants to show great respect to Marty Stu. :rollseyes: