Catch My Fall

Chapter 8: And I'm willing to listen to your answers. And I'm not afraid
to tell you I need you today. Won't you light my way?

Tezuka thought, briefly, as they kissed in the middle of his living room, that there was something more important that they should be doing. However, when the belt holding Fuji's yukata loosened, and the fabric slid off of his body wetly onto the floor, Tezuka ceased to think about anything else. Noting that the ends of his hair were still damp, Tezuka decided that the only proper thing to do was to guide Fuji into his bedroom, and onto his bed, where they could keep warm.

Fuji shivered in his arms, and Tezuka held him even closer, lifting him up until Fuji wrapped his legs around his waist. Fuji's arms tightened around his neck, and Tezuka kissed him again, hoping that his feet remembered the way to his room, because he had no intention of letting Fuji's lips go anytime soon.

He almost didn't want to place Fuji down on the bed when he got to his room because Fuji was safe, in his arms, wrapped around him, and he was his. Fuji laughed softly in his ear as he stood there in the middle of his room, not moving, and asked sweetly if he was getting tired.

"You're not heavy," Tezuka said in reply. He felt a little bit foolish, but he still had yet to budge from the spot.

Fuji moved so he could look Tezuka in the eye. "As nice as this is," he kissed him on the neck to emphasize this point, "I can't reach," he kissed him again on the shoulder, "all of you." Fuji bit lightly on his ear before whispering, "And I want to."

It was an odd thing for him, what he was feeling in that movement. It wasn't that he was nervous about the sex itself. True, he hadn't had a vast amount of experience. He had only been with two other people in his entire life and the number of times equaled seven times over all. He just never had the inclination to have sex for sex's sake. Moreover, he had never met anyone that he liked enough to put forth the effort into a relationship. Fuji changed all of that completely.

There was an attraction between them, which was completely undeniable. He wanted Fuji like he didn't know he was capable of wanting another person. He was beautiful, Tezuka thought as he laid Fuji down on his bed. He didn't know which he liked better, Fuji's eyes, blue and entrancing, or his lips, which were full, soft and curved into those smiles that made him want to know exactly what Fuji was thinking.

As Fuji reached for him, pulling them together so they could kiss once more he was struck by the indisputable fact that no matter how much he rolled his eyes when Atobe had said it, he was in love with Fuji. It was beyond petrifying. But, nothing else could explain why this person was in his house, sharing his bed, his life, because no one else ever had. No one he had ever dated even knew his home phone number, never mind where he lived, slept. Only Fuji. No one else in the world had ever convinced him to go clothes shopping, or made him late to a meeting, or to turn off the alarm clock in favour of sleeping in. No one else made him feel this disconcerting level of contentment. He wanted Fuji to know, somehow, and he felt an overwhelming need for Fuji to feel the same way.

Tezuka opened his mouth to come out and say it. He felt like he had to or anything that may happen that night would just be dishonest. He looked at Fuji, kissed his cheek, and said, "Syusuke."

It wasn't what he wanted to say, but by the look on Fuji's face at that moment, what he intended to come out was exactly what Fuji heard. Fuji hesitatingly brushed his cheek with his thumb and then Fuji kissed him, fingers gripping him almost painfully, before he whispered back. "Kunimitsu."

They stayed like that for a while, not moving, not doing anything but hugging. He didn't make a move to hurry things along, or even take any of his clothes off. He didn't want to do the wrong thing, and that was strange because he always acted on instinct, and trusted that it would guide him in the right direction.

Fuji made things simple because he pulled away from him just enough to begin unbuttoning his shirt. Tezuka shifted to allow Fuji to reach the rest of his buttons, but he made no move to help. He simply watched those fingers that he had fantasised about since the first time he'd watched Fuji play guitar lightly tease his skin as his shirt was undone. As Fuji pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, he felt himself hold his breath, which was ridiculous because it wasn't as if they'd never seen each other naked.

Apparently satisfied with the shirt being on the floor where it belonged, Fuji kissed his neck as his hands trailed down his abdomen until they settled on the waistband of his slacks. Fuji smirked as he unbuttoned the fly and tugged the rest of his clothes off to join his shirt. He placed his hand on Fuji's hip, bringing him closer as they began to kiss once more.

He let his lips linger on Fuji's neck as he ran his hands down Fuji's back, resting on that arse that truly felt even better than it looked, and that was saying something. Tezuka rolled until he was on top of Fuji, their hips grinding together as he caressed Fuji's face while they continued to kiss. Tezuka moved down, licking Fuji's skin as he went. He bit down lightly on his nipples until Fuji moaned, body twisting under him.

Tezuka ran his hands up the inside of Fuji's thighs, thumb rubbing smalls circles on the soft skin as he leaned forward and took Fuji in his mouth. There was something about the way Fuji moaned, the way he smelled, that was making his brain cloud as he sucked that beautiful cock. He felt dizzy with anticipation of touching Fuji, being inside of him. Fuji's hands were in his hair, clutching at him, and he wanted to make Fuji completely lose control.

"Te-Tezuka," Fuji said, voice thick with want. He stopped, and crawled back up to Fuji, who looked at him with a small smile on his face. He leaned down to kiss him again as he reached over to the drawer of his nightstand. After a few seconds of searching, he found the container of lubricant and set it down on the bed next to them.

"Fuji looked over at it, then back at him and said, "I've never done this before."

He froze. Never before? But, as he looked at Fuji, it suddenly made sense. Two of the people who merely liked Fuji enough to ask for a date ended up in the hospital.

"After…"Fuji said, trailing off. Tezuka lay down next to Fuji, gathering him in his arms in support.

He kissed Fuji's cheek. He hated to admit it, but a part of him was glad that he'd be the only person to ever touch Fuji. "It's okay."

Fuji smiled at him, placing his forefinger on Tezuka's lips. "Before…I never got past the hand-holding stage."

Tezuka was surprised because every single time Fuji had touched him, it was with expert precision designed to drive him mad with lust. But, perhaps, it was just because he wanted Fuji so badly that he didn't even notice. It wasn't as if he were an expert. All he knew is that nothing felt as good as Fuji did.

He picked up the lubricant and offered it to Fuji, who took it with a confused expression on his face. "If it's too soon…"

Fuji smiled as he spoke "I want to."

He nodded, but didn't take the lubricant back when Fuji tried to give it to him.

"I thought—" Fuji started, but Tezuka interrupted him.

He rolled onto his back, Fuji on top of him, kissing him as he spread his legs to allow Fuji in between them. Although he had wanted to be inside Fuji, he found that he wanted Fuji inside of him even more. "This way it's a first time for both of us."

Smiling, Fuji nodded and poured some of the lubricant onto his hand. Tezuka took Fuji's hand in his and guided him to his entrance; showing Fuji how to open him, stretch him. It was awkward. He'd only ever done this to someone else. Never had he ever trusted anyone else enough to do this, but this was Fuji, and he trusted him with everything.

When Fuji began slowing inching inside of him, it hurt, but he needed it so very much. He wrapped his legs around Fuji, preventing him from escape and he guiding himself down on Fuji's cock, wanting, needing more of it inside of him. His eyes never left Fuji's face, and he saw all the emotions that he felt himself, on Fuji's face and it made him so very happy for the first time in so long, that he didn't know what to do with how he was feeling.

Once Fuji was fully inside of him, Tezuka kissed him as his hands explored the skin on Fuji's back. He couldn't stop touching him, tasting him, and he found himself resting his hands on Fuji's arse once more, pressing down, making Fuji drive into him. Fuji moved unhurriedly, his cock sliding in and out of Tezuka so slowly thought he might die from the wanting. Fuji rested his head on Tezuka's shoulder, nipping at the skin as he made love to him. Tezuka ran his hands up Fuji's back until they were tangled in Fuji's hair, and then they were kissing again, as soft and as slowly as Fuji's thrusts.

All thoughts of speeding things up vanished when Fuji murmured in his ear about how much he loved him, wanted him, needed him. If he took it slow enough, Tezuka thought to himself, then this night wouldn't end. He only held Fuji tighter as those words echoed in his ears. Fuji's belly rubbed against his cock as he moved, and he felt the tightness coil in his body, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. He tried in vain to get his body to calm down, but Fuji's cock was thrusting inside of him, their bodies were touching everywhere, Fuji's hands were all over him, and that beautiful voice was murmuring in his ear about how good he felt, how Fuji loved him more than anything in the world, and he couldn't take it. It felt like he was falling as he came, Syusuke on his lips.

He felt Fuji's eyes on him, watching him as he felt apart in his arms, and nothing felt so right. Fuji only lasted another four minutes before collapsing on top of him, kissing whatever skin was closest to his lips. The air was thick with all the things they'd said, and the last thing he wanted to do was get up, disturb whatever this perfect moment he never dream he'd have, and go and clean up, but they had to.

Tezuka felt grateful too, because for all the times in his life when he should have had words, but didn't, this was one time that no words could ever be adequate, therefore they were wholly unnecessary. Unsteadily, he got to his feet, and bent over to lift Fuji into his arms again. He didn't care if he seemed ridiculous, because in that moment he wanted to hold Fuji, recapture that feeling he had when he first brought Fuji into the room that evening, and so he did, without a word of explanation; Fuji didn't ask for one either, he simply held on as he did before, and rested his head on Tezuka's shoulder. Somehow, they both knew the important thing was that they were together.