A Twisted Triangle

Author's note:

Okay. So. I just realized that I screwed up in the last chapter. Y_Y Ritsuka's not supposed to be sixteen yet. He's only supposed to be fifteen. Bad editing on my part! Stupid, stupid... Bah! Forgive my mistake?

Anyhow. On with the acknowledgments!

Juneblue: Thank you very much! I’m glad you like it. Referrals to this fiction, or any other I’ve written, would be greatly appreciated!

Kimi: Don’t you worry about Soubi-Ritsuka lemons. ~_^ I’ll be getting to that. I just… wouldn’t have felt right putting one in with Ritsuka at any younger age. Soubi would have wanted to strangle the life out of me if I put Ritsuka in a lemon yet. T_T

I_Plead_Obsession: Haha. I know I’m evil. I’ve been told that a lot. =D And thank you very much for the tip. I’ll definitely try to keep my time transitions a bit smoother from now on. On that note, this story may be edited for that reason at a later date to keep it flowing a little better.

Deshera: If you know of any other fan fiction sites where this fiction would be appropriate, please include a site address in future reviews. =)

Ran: Thank you! =D I’m not usually a Kio fan, but I like his personality in this piece.

~*~

I'm standing on the edge and coming to my senses
From a reverie.
Never thought I would, never thought I'd need to
Say good-bye;
I bid you farewell.

My voiceless words are swaying the flame...

~YOSHIKI

~*~

Seimei was not at all gentle with Soubi. He never had been, not since the start of their physical relationship. But tonight, that fact was proven more so.

Rough hands, broad and possessive, gripped Soubi’s hips to hold him in place while Seimei took him from behind. Nails scraping, Seimei ground into him unmercifully, repetitively, harsh to the point of forcing Soubi to bite into the pillow he clutched beneath his head.

Some part of Soubi loved this; to be dominated and controlled. At a very early age, he had been taught—programmed, even—that this was the only way he was of any use. It was an ancient sort of ideal, really, but it was the only one that Soubi had ever known. He didn’t complain. If it pleased Seimei, his Seimei, his beloved, he would endure anything.

Soubi could hear Seimei muttering raw encouragements into his ear, urging him on and making him blush. Seimei’s obscenely soft skin now felt coarse, his velvety voice of great contrast. With blond hair mussed and speckled with perspiration, blue eyes glazed, Soubi bowed his head and took his abuse without question, without objection. His guttural groans spoke enough; granted, they had to be muffled by Seimei’s mattress and pillows. They were in Seimei’s home, after all.

Sometime after midnight, Seimei had called Soubi here. He had not said why, but Soubi already knew. Compliant as always, he turned up fifteen minutes later to an amorously aggressive Seimei who pushed the blond onto his bed not ten seconds after laying eyes on him. No words were exchanged; only hot pants for air and whimpers (the latter on Soubi’s part).

While Seimei was usually one for brutally teasing foreplay, he did not waste time with that tonight. Rather, he took what he wanted without any hesitation whatsoever. Seimei didn’t bother to prepare Soubi properly, either. But Soubi didn’t care.

Whatever pleased Seimei…

“Say my name, Soubi,” Seimei commanded, winding his hands into Soubi’s thick blond hair and giving it one good yank. Soubi yelped, gasped for air.

“Seimei…”

A particularly sharp thrust later and Soubi cried out—more in agony than pleasure. He quickly clapped both hands over his mouth in an attempt to stifle the last half of it. Not a moment later did Seimei tear both palms away from Soubi’s mouth, instead forcing the arms attached to lock over the blond’s head. In this position, Soubi had to fight considerably to stay balanced on his knees.

“I don’t care if they hear anymore,” Seimei growled, one hand securing Soubi’s wrists and the other scratching roughly down Soubi’s back. He earned a sharp hiss for his efforts. “I like it when you scream.”

Soubi wound his eyes shut. The pain at his back and the crushing pressure at his front was getting to be a bit much. He could barely breathe this way, but oxygen proved to be a trivial item in comparison to his throbbing member just aching for completion.

“Scream for me,” Seimei muttered sharply, soon clamping his ivory canines down into Soubi’s shoulder.

The ample amount of pain was enough to elicit a moan from Soubi’s throat, but it seemed not to satiate Seimei’s appetite.

Reiterating, Seimei yanked roughly at Soubi’s pretty blond head. “I said I don’t care if they hear!” he barked, pounding ever-harder into Soubi’s depths. With every stroke of the nerves hidden inside of his core, Soubi panted, writhed, groaned beneath the perspiring body of his lover. He had no qualms over crying out in the privacy of his own home where he knew they would not be bothered or heard. But this was not his home. This was Seimei’s home. Aoyagi Misaki was right down the hall and Ritsuka…

Ritsuka’s room was just across from Seimei’s. That made him more nervous than anything. As Ritsuka’s unofficial babysitter, the last thing Soubi wanted to do was explain the sounds coming from Seimei’s room at this ungodly hour of the night the next time they were in each other’s company.

Oh, that would be uncomfortable…

But nowhere near as uncomfortable as Soubi was going to be if he didn’t comply with Seimei’s command. In that light, the following grind of Seimei’s hips was greeted with a sharp, unhindered cry on Soubi’s part. He had to force it (mostly), but it was well worth the effort; Seimei rewarded him with much-needed attention to his neglected length. Stroking, fondling roughly, Seimei pleasured his blond lover that way.

It made the pain worthwhile.

What seemed like hours later, when only mere minutes had passed, Seimei reached his end and allowed Soubi his. It was only after the fact that Soubi realized just how sore he was—how sore he was going to be in the morning.

It mattered not.

Seimei’s hunger was satisfied.

That mattered more than Soubi’s discomfort.

Seimei offered Soubi a few tissues to clean up with, then wordlessly meandered to the other side of the room and through the door to his private bathroom. Soubi knew from experience that Seimei needed his after-the-deed shower, else his entire persona would be thrown off.

Quietly, Soubi curled up in the sheets and closed his eyes. He wouldn’t fall asleep. He wouldn’t… He promised himself he wouldn’t…

To the sound of water cascading onto tile floors, Soubi nodded off.

In what seemed like moments later in Soubi‘s groggy state, a drawer opening and sliding shut woke him from his light slumber. Soubi abruptly sat up.

“Take care of him,” Seimei murmured while he shuffled around his room, packing his bags. He never once paused to look at the bewildered Soubi on his bed, blue eyes blinking and confused.

“What?” Soubi asked, tentative.

“Ritsuka,” Seimei replied, nonplussed. “I want to make sure he’s taken care of, since I cannot.”

“But…” Sitting up, Soubi went about finding his jeans amongst the mess of clothes on the foot of the bed. Granted, his balance was a little off, and it took a few blind gropes in the dark, but he finally managed.

A glance at the wall clock told Soubi it was approximately five in the morning.

“Seimei, what’s going on?”

“I can‘t explain now,” said Seimei, finally casting his burgundy gaze to the cerulean pools belonging to his lover. “But I have to leave. And I have to leave now.”

Soubi was never one to pry. Especially not with Seimei. But with this, he simply couldn’t help himself. After all, things had been as normal as they ever were just hours before, and now…

Not so much.

Finally finding it in him to stand, Soubi stepped forward. The slightest movement on Seimei’s part, however, caused Soubi to freeze.

“Where? Why, Seimei? Why now? I mean… Are you even going to tell Ritsuka you’re leaving? Your mother? Seimei, you’ve…” The hard look in Seimei’s eyes caused Soubi to fall silent, and he looked away. He had overstepped his boundaries to question Seimei that way. One of the unspoken conditions of their relationship was that Seimei called the shots. Seimei told Soubi what to do. Seimei asked Soubi questions. Not the other way around. Soubi felt strange to have the tables turned, but… he had to know.

He had to know for himself, and for Ritsuka. Ritsuka, whose life would be forever changed if Seimei were to disappear. Ritsuka adored his older brother the way Soubi once had; body, mind and soul alike. He would be crushed… Moreover, he would not understand.

“Soubi,” Seimei bit out from behind clenched jowls, stepping toward the blond with long, confident strides. “I can‘t. I can’t tell you.”

Questioning sapphires peered in his direction and Seimei voiced the answer to the query Soubi had not yet uttered: “Or Ritsuka.”

Why did Soubi worry so about the little brother?

Seimei sighed, distraught. “I can’t go into detail now,” Seimei concluded, returning to his dutiful packing as though nothing had happened. “But trust me when I say that it’s for the best. I’m looking out for my little brother in leaving. And in not returning.”

Somehow, Soubi doubted that it was going to serve Ritsuka well for his elder brother, his idol to leave. Regardless, Soubi had no authority to command Seimei. No matter that he was confused beyond belief and just so stunned...

Soubi only nodded. Granted, he didn’t want to leave it at that. It left questions without their answers and doors on their hinges; open, vulnerable to unreliable speculation.

That didn’t matter.

To Soubi, at least, Seimei’s word was law. If Seimei said it was for the best, then it was for the best.

“… Very well,” Soubi muttered in defeat, falling back and leaning against the wall. He waited there in silence, blissful silence, as Seimei zipped up his backpack and another bag full of clothes.

Why did he do this?

Seimei walked all over Soubi time after time after time… after time. So many times, in fact, that it yanked Soubi to the end of his tether. Even so, Soubi had an endless string of patience, or so it would seem. He took the abuse in silence, the only way he knew how, and left it there to rot among the remnants of his neglected emotions. He supposed it was just how he was meant to live; as a crutch for those who had no other means of support, as a place to lean, a scratching post, a sounding board for the world.

Soubi wasn’t a martyr. He didn’t pity himself. But sometimes… he wanted it all to stop. Love was supposed to be a two-way street, and there was Soubi, at a blatant dead end. A point of no return. A grisly reminder that, Seimei or no Seimei, Soubi was destined to be alone.

It was true what they said. The abused always cling to their abuser.

“You understand,” Seimei said, stepping close to Soubi and running the backs of his fingertips along the pale cheek of the blond, “that I cannot contact you.”

Soubi nodded.

"Ritsuka is not to know about any of this. That you saw me leave. You're in the dark like everyone else. Aren't you?"

Another nod from the compliant blond. Another painful, straining nod.

“Promise me that you’ll take care of him.”

“I promise.”

"Promise me that you will not breathe a word of this. Ritsuka isn't to know that you saw me leave."

"I promise."

“Love him the way you love me.”

Soubi went quiet.

“Promise me,” Seimei demanded, his brow furrowed. “You’re the only one I can trust to take care of him, Soubi. Everyone else is second rate. My mother can’t be trusted for long, he needs a safe haven. He needs you now.” A pause, before he added, “I need you now. Promise me, Soubi.”

I need you now.

Seimei needed Soubi now. Unfathomable as it was, Seimei had said it. He needed Soubi, and at first, Soubi had not believed his own ears. It seemed as though he was only living to hear those words, to feel someone else needing him for something; anything. His world revolved around that. Being needed.

Soubi’s long arms, lean and slightly trembling, boldly wrapped around the back of his beloved, his palms tightly clutching the back of the black shirt Seimei wore. Blue eyes fell shut and Soubi buried his face in the crook of Seimei’s slender neck. He half-expected Seimei to shove him away…

Seimei did not. Rather, he looped one arm around Soubi’s shoulders and gave his blond hair one farewell stroke. Soubi mimicked the action; slithered his fingers back through Seimei’s hair. There were no faux cat ears to obstruct his self-soothing petting.

“I promise,” Soubi muttered sullenly, brokenly, as he pressed his lips tenderly to Seimei’s proud jawbone. He couldn’t see it, but he could feel that Seimei was grinning.

Pulling back, Seimei stroked Soubi’s cheek almost warmly with the pad of his thumb.

“I’ll go out the window,” Seimei said. “I don’t want to risk waking them up. Wait five minutes after I’ve gone to take your leave.”

Soubi did not understand just why Seimei had commanded such a thing, but he did not argue. He nodded in compliance. “Five minutes.”

“Take care, Soubi.”

Seimei left a kiss to Soubi’s lips. While Seimei’s mouth was generally warm, heated with the lust he harbored for his blond lover, this graze of his lips was cold; arid. There was no feeling behind it. No remorse. No regret. No business left unfinished in that heartless kiss. He wouldn’t miss his Soubi. A moment later when they parted, Seimei smiled; only the corners of his lips turned. Soubi, for once, could not read his Seimei’s emotions.

There were none to read.

When Seimei turned, water began to fill Soubi’s brilliant blue eyes. His expression did not shift, only his eyes as he watched, crestfallen and empty, as the only source of love in his life began to climb over the window frame with feline grace. Seimei hopped a short distance from the windowsill to the grass below and, without looking back, advanced toward his waiting car. The before-dawn shadow did well to cloak Seimei’s retreating format, but Soubi could see every tiny detail as his lover wandered further and further away from his home.

Away from Soubi.

Seimei didn’t care. Soubi knew that much from the look in his eye. Seimei would start a new life somewhere with unrivaled popularity among people who had no idea of just who Aoyagi Seimei was. Unwitting and unprepared, this new world would take Seimei in, never knowing what he had done, who he had left behind, and when he would depart again.

Seimei seemed to leave a dark void in people’s lives. Again, Seimei just didn’t care. Seimei wasn’t the type for caring much about… well, anything. Only what he could take, what he could gain.

None of this seemed real to Soubi. Not one bit of it. Just hours ago, things had been as they always were. And now…

Things had changed.

Nothing would be the same after this.

Even as Seimei placed his bags in the trunk of his car, then slipped into the driver’s seat and started it up, Soubi couldn’t accept the reality of it. A slap in the face, a splash of cold water, an electric shock-none of these things compared to the suddenness of Seimei’s departure.

To anyone else who may have been watching, Seimei was not leaving the house obnoxiously early in the morning because he was leaving his life behind. Maybe Seimei had gotten a new job. Maybe he wanted to take a crisp morning jog before school.

But, no.

As the black car pulled off of the curb and disappeared into the first rays of sunlight, the reality of Soubi’s situation finally set in.

Seimei was gone.

Just like that.

Just gone…

Seimei had no intention of returning.

When at last Soubi’s tears began to fall, he did not feel them, nor did he make a sound. For those few, fleeting minutes, Soubi didn’t move. The clear droplets cascading from his glassy eyes stained his skin, but he did not wipe them away. He wore them proudly, for this was the first time in what seemed like ages that Soubi had showed any real signs of human feeling.

Emotion. Feeling.

That’s what Soubi wanted.

It was proof that he was alive.

He only wished it would have surfaced under less tragic circumstances.

A sigh left Soubi’s lips, one tinged with sorrow, regret and confusion. For the moment, he put no thought into Ritsuka and how he would take this. Any of this. He would cross that bridge when he came to it. Until that time, he decided, he would take a walk. After he had pulled on his shirt, Soubi clambered out of Seimei’s bedroom window for the final time, dropping down onto the grass below with a silent thud. He had long since perfected those landings.

Without so much as a parting glance to the house in which he had spent so much of his time, Soubi walked away.

He didn’t know where he planned to go.

Wherever it was, it would not be far.

~*~

I can't live without,
I can't give without,
I can't breathe without you
Here in the world.
Do you feel the rain?
You said, "Love takes your pain."
With or without the sun,
The lurid sky is still tearing me apart...

~YOSHIKI