Just the Once

Deserves better...

(or the moment where Sanzo's penny drops)

The bar was almost empty by now. A few thrill-seeking punters remained near the pool table, quietly betting on whether the blond or the red-haired guy was going to fall first. They were also taking bets on whether they’d kill each-other or just cause irreparable harm. All was quiet, save the occasional clink of glass on wood or mumbled bet. The man that had been knocked out earlier for attacking the little bouncer was still out cold, which was for the best really. His brown coat had already been frisked for valuables and had been found wanting.
Barman wasn’t sure what to make of it. He’d probably be losing money if it weren’t for the sheer amount of expensive liquor the tall bouncer and the priest were drinking. Most would have been surprised to see a priest drink, let alone drink so much. Barman, in the manner of all barmen, knew better.
He just hoped that they were not planning on desecrating any more of his gaming equipment.

---


It was building, Sanzo could feel it. It was only a matter of time before one of them cracked and they started arguing. It was only Hakkai’s earlier, implicit threat that held back the deluge of words but even that couldn’t last forever. Sanzo and Gojyo had never managed to get along particularly well with each-other, compared to how they were with Goku or Hakkai. Whatever was said tonight could not be unsaid and they were both to stubborn to forgive easily, eventually or possibly at all.
Gojyo spoke first and he tried to push what little advantage he had on that move.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that?”
It was only shock and perhaps a little morbid interest that kept Sanzo from shooting. It didn’t stop him from aiming.
“You’ll get a hole in the head, you keep talking to me that way.”
“You could try.” Gojyo sneered, “This is why you don’t have many friends, just by the by.”
“At least I don’t convince mine to let me fuck them until they bleed.” Sanzo’s eyes were blazing, “Don’t try to tell me he asked for it, because I’ve heard that one before and it’s always been bullshit.”
Gojyo raised his hands at that and Sanzo’s train of thought was momentarily disarmed by the gesture.
“We’d both had a bad day, we were both feeling like crap and I pushed it when I shouldn’t have. Goku told me and I backed off. You walked in after the damage was done and then you did what you always do and tried to bust a cap in my ass. What did you think was going to happen?”
“I thought I was going to put your head through a wall but you ran away before I could get that far.” Sanzo downed another shot because he needed it, “Pussy.”
“Goku’s gayer than a maypole.” Gojyo blurted petulantly.
Sanzo looked at him.
“Yeah, suck on that. Even if you kill me he’ll be screwing other men until judgement day.”
Sanzo kept looking at him. Steadily.
“Ok, so you already knew he was gay. Why do you care who he fucks?”
“You have, at some point or other, contracted every major, non-fatal venereal disease known to man. I didn’t get him out of Mount Gogyo just so he could die six years later from syphilis!” Sanzo spat.
“I’m clean!” Gojyo retorted, before he could stop himself.
“You’ve also never had a relationship that lasted more than three hours, if you don’t include the time you spent asleep. He deserves better.”
Gojyo tensed. Sanzo realised after a moment that he had managed to enrage him, accidentally for once. He didn’t know why. Gojyo steeled his jaw.
“Fuck you, asshole. Deserves better, you think he deserves better.” Gojyo hissed, “Monkey loves you so damn much it’s sickening and every time you have a bad day you just have to drag him off to all the bad places with you. You should see it, it’s like watching a caged animal.”
“What?” Sanzo almost dropped his gun in spite of himself, the thought of anyone knowing just what he saw with the rain began was horrid and deeply embarrassing.
“Like some sort of living security blanket,” Gojyo continued, pausing only to take a healthy sip of his whiskey, “I bet you don’t even know you do it but whenever it rains he goes nuts and with you ‘n Hakkai locked away, I’m the only one he has to turn to.”
Sanzo remembered the panicked and disjointed thoughts he’d been hearing for days.
“Geez, Sanzo, you know I’m only good for one thing. You tell me as much on a regular basis. He’s affectionate, everything he does is physical. You’d rather no one touched you ever. If he can’t have the one he wants, then having someone that likes him is the next best thing. And I do like him, there’s a lot to... appreciate... if you get me. ”
“Shut up.” Sanzo hissed.
“We only ever do it when it rains.” Gojyo said, staring Sanzo straight in the eyes, “I can tell you that if you keep screwing him over like you always do, you selfish bastard, our thing’ll keep going on too.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Sanzo hissed again, louder this time.
“If you were less fucked up, maybe it could have been you. You could have had him. But you like being fucked up, it’s like a status symbol and coincidentally, Goku likes being fucked up th’...”
Sanzo hit him. Hard.
“Don’t fucking talk about him like that.”
“You deal your way, so long as you leave us to ourselves that’s how it’s going to be.” Gojyo spat, “You have to choose.”
Gojyo slammed his drink back down on the bar top.
“You really piss me off sometimes, ya stupid priest.”

---


Hakkai heard the quiet knock on the door about an hour after Goku fell asleep. It was Sanzo, looking slightly wobbly on his feet and about as self-loathing as he was capable of being. His repentant bitterness was all that saved him from a lecture.
“He’s sleeping.” Hakkai said, “You might want to think of getting a room for the night.”
“I’ll keep my mouth shut.” It passed for a promise and an admission when coming from the stony priest. Sanzo wanted to stay with Goku and he didn’t want to go downstairs and risk confronting Gojyo again. He was going to behave.
“Call me if he wakes up.”
Sanzo sat down in the chair by the bed and didn’t say anything. He slumped back and let his legs sprawl forward, like a kid waiting in front of the principal’s office. Hakkai silently left him to his vigil.
Hakkai walked slowly down the hall, to the stairs and then across the pub floor to the bar. Gojyo was curled in his chair, face down on the bar top and the bartender was busily not looking at anyone. Hakkai took the seat next to Gojyo.
“So,” he said, “I take it you won.”
He felt, rather than saw, Gojyo’s tired grin.
“Yeah, I kicked his ass, with words.” Gojyo replied, clearly viewing this as an important first, “He gave me a black eye though.”
Gojyo sat up. His left eye was blooming in mottled red and black, and almost entirely bruised shut.
“I’d be lying if I said you didn’t deserve as much.” Hakkai said mildly, “Keeping things from me, of all people.”
Gojyo grimaced a little, then laughed.
“Yeah, you’re right, the next time you’ll be the first to know as soon as it happens. I’ll make sure to call you, my best friend, every time I successfully have sex.”
“Do you want me to heal your eye?” Hakkai asked pointedly.
“Yes please, shutting up now.”
“Good.”