This is the life

Withdrawal was like hell. After only five hours, Matt began to tremble and he felt terribly cold. Mello brought him blankets, sat down with him and held him in his arms. When the redhead started crying because of shame, the incredible pain from the poison coming out of his body and not to forget the one caused by his ass which didn’t become better although Mello had given him a crème for it.

Mello had called Rodd to tell him he’d be a few days out of order and Rodd fortunately had tolerated it although not being too happy about Kevin’s death. Apart from an hour he had needed to buy food the blonde had been sitting at Matt’s bed the whole time. He had taken the sweat from Matt’s brows and had made him something to eat.
By evening, he was totally done.
Matt realized his boyfriend was hard on the border to fall asleep, but he couldn’t do much. Since he vomited everything he ate immediately and sweated so heavily he found himself disguisting, he had finally to get helped to take a shower.
“Mello, I… You have to get some sleep, you…”
But Mello shook his head. “Most important is you getting better, then I still can sleep.”
Again, Mello held him when he took a shower. For Matt, it was incredibly embarrassing. He was ashamed and Mello noticed something was wrong.
“What’s the matter?”, he asked exhausted after bringing his lover back to their bed.
“I'm… I’m sorry I put you through all this… You have so much trouble with me..”
Mello smiled and kissed him on the already again sweaty forehead.
“I love you.”
The redhead closed his eyes. “lease try to get a little sleep. I'll wake you if I need help with something, ok? I won’t run away, promise.”
Mello nodded. “Alright… But don’t let me sleep too long, k?”

After one hour, Mello was back on his feet bringing Matt soup.
“Mello… I won’t keep it with me, so why..”
“Because you do need something in your stomach. You cannot go the whole day without something you can get out.”
Because Matt was not able to do it himself, Mello held the spoon and fed him. Matt felt very stupid and small. Mello shouldn’t need to help him with such small things. He should be able to shower and eat for himself. But every muscle in his body was aching so much he couldn’t move without trembling, he couldn’t stand on his own feet, he couldn’t walk. He couldn't do anything, but Mello didn’t show anything making Matt fell worse. During the last hours of the second day in which Matt’s pain got worse and he had become unbearable, Mello stayed with him.
Mello- Wammy’s greatest male bitch of all times, Mello who had the reputation to do nothing for anyone than himself.

After three days the worst was over, the pain gradually subsided, and although it hadn’t gone away completely, Matt was able to sit down with Mello on the couch and eat Pizza.
Mello musterd his boyfriend and smiled tired. The redhead seemed to be much better now. He himself was completely exhausted and ready to fall asleep, but as long as it was for Matt, it was worth it.
Matt felt Mello observe him and layed the piece of pizza he just wanted to eat back to his plate. “What’s the matter, Mells?”
“Nothing… I just realized how much better you look today.”
Matt swallowed. “Thank you, Mel… for everything. I mean…”
Mello grinned.
“Shut up and eat something so you gain some weight.”
Matt smiled back. “And you go to sleep.”
“I don’t know, I thought we could…”
But Matt shook his head. “You haven’t slept for 3 days now, so you don’t do anything. And… I’m tired, too.”
Mello grinned again and caressed Matt through his red hair.
His lover grinned back and started to tickle Mello until he couldn’t breathe anymore and boxed him on the shoulder.
“Hey!”
“Mel?” Matt asked and Mello looked him into the eyes.
“Yeah?”
“I love you, too. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know, Matty…”, replied the blonde and kissed him. “I know.”
But Matt’s face became suddenly very serious.
“I… Well… Kevin… Kevin, he wasn’t… He wasn’t my first, you know…”, he gulped. “I thought you should know. It was… The first time I did voluntarily, even if it wasn’t… Even if I hadn’t much fun with it.”
Mello closed his eyes. He had suspected something like that but didn’t want to think about it. “You sold yourself, didn’t you?”, he stated.
Matt nodded. “I… I’m so sorry, Mels, I…”
But the blonde shook his head. “You only did this for your drugs, alright? And this is something, we won’t talk about again, ok? You’ll stay clean so it won’t happen again.”
“Mel?”
“Hm?”
“Have you… I mean… Have you ever been with someone? Both men or women? Have you ever done it?”
Mello hesitated, then he confessed. “Once. With a girl. But… It didn’t feel right, you know? I’ve always thought if we… You and me…”, he blushed- “If we’d do it someday, you’d be the one who…”
Matt nodded. “Me too… Although you’d be the one and only I’d try as uke again.”
Mello shook his head. “Not that this option is debatable now.”
The redhead nodded again. For sure his pain had subsided so he could be sure not to be seriously injured but the idea of another cock shoving into his ass wasn’t rather pleasant.
But the other way round wasn’t something they should do now, either. He knew not only Mello was too tired for it.
“Let’s go to sleep, ok?”, the blonde said now and then added, when Matt was up: “Is it alright for you if I… I mean… If we sleep in one bed?”
Puzzled because the answer to this question seemed so obvious to him, Matt smiled. “Of course you can.”