Creeping Up On You

CHAPTER 9: What Do I Have To Do

You make it hard to breathe
It’s as if I’m suffocating
And when you’re next to me
I can feel your heartbeat through my skin
It makes me sad to think
This all could be for nothing
I wish there was a way
For you to see inside of me
I’ve never felt this way
About anyone or anything
Tell me
What do I have to do to make you happy?
What do I have to do to make you understand?
What do I have to do to make you want me?
And, if I can’t make you want me
What do I have to do?

I know exactly what you’re thinking
But I swear this time I will not let you down
I’m not as selfish as I used to be
That was a part of me that never made me proud
Right now I think I would try anything
Anything at all to keep you satisfied
God I hope you see what loving you would do to me
All I want is one more chance, so tell me...
What do I have to do to make you love me?

Stabbing Westward – “What Do I Have To Do?”

~!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!~HIM

So close now, I can almost taste her again. Mia has done perfectly with my daughter, she believes that I love her mother and would do anything for her, which I would. She sent that Aoshi idiot away. He is lucky I haven’t seen him since he kissed her, I would have had to kill him then, and that would have upset her.

My Plan is almost complete. Very soon we will be one big happy family. And My Amei will never leave me again…

~!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!~

Sano had told me to meet him outside of my father’s house, at this time, I looked at my watch, and it was 11 pm. He had something for me. I was only taking this time because he told me it was of the utmost importance. It had something to do with Mae’s disappearance.

Mae, where are you?

I pulled up to the house. It had been empty for about a month now, the dark reminded me just how empty it was now. That was how long I have had Mae, and our similarities never ceased o amaze me. No wonder Yumi was a bitch to her.

I saw a shadow move to the east. “Sano? Sano, why did you ask me to come out here? What do you have that will help me find Mae?” I was getting skittish, it was stupid, but something told me this was all wrong. I stopped, forcing myself to take a deep breath before I started to move again. I found myself in the dark of night, at the gazebo in East yard.

“Sanosuke? This isn’t funny, where are you?” My voice held the note of fear I didn’t want any one to ever hear. I screamed and jumped as something landed heavily on my shoulder. Before I had the opportunity to turn around and see who or what it was, I felt myself plummeting forward, toward the vine covered support column of the gazebo. My world blanked out on me…

I woke and found myself staring up at the starry night sky. Sano’s face just popped into my field of vision, scaring a scream out of me. “What were you doing lying out like this? You looked so beautiful though,”

I quirked an eyebrow at him and ignored the last comment. “What do you have for me? You said it had something to do with where Mae is.” He helped me to my feet.

“Well, I have something to tell you. Tsubame is your daughter. She is yours and mine.” His face held the serious look it had taken on when he started to tell me his…information.

My eyebrow moved of its own volition. “You are joking right? I mean, Mae is Yumi’s Daughter. She can’t be mine, I have never given birth. There is no way, that can’t be true.” I could hear the disbelief n my voice.

“She is, she is ours, I know you don’t remember, but she is our daughter. I want you to be with us. I have her. I had a DNA test done, I had samples of your DNA and mine and hers. Don’t ask how, just know she is ours. We have a beautiful, sweet daughter. Amei, lets go to her now, as a family. You and I were born to be together. You are my Amei, my masochist. I love you, and you are mine, Amei.”

I knew that this was crazy, and the fact I was with him by myself didn’t bode well. I had most of my memory back. I asked Mia and she said I had a total of about a year missing. I can account for about three months of that year. I looked at him with a dawning horror.
It was you!?! You were the one that has been haunting my dreams and waking hours. How could you? How could you have done that to me? What you have done to me is beyond horrible! What have you done to Mae, You, you monster!”

His face contorted into a look of rage before it smoothed out to a look of longing and sadness. “I am sorry you see it like that Kay, I really am. You are my life. I have watched you for years, I have protected you for longer then that. You are my everything. Mae, she has helped me get you away from the others, she knows how much I love you, she helped me. Mia, too. She loves you so much and she just wants you to be happy.”

He countered every step I took backwards; he took one to match it going forward. He hadn’t yet closed the distance between us, but he would let me widen it either. “You must love me, Amei, because I can’t let you go. Not now, not ever.”

“What do you mean Mia wants me to be happy?! She knew what you had done to me?! I could never be happy with someone who raped and tortured me as you did! Never! Now tell me where to find Mae, and hope to God I never see you again, Sano, because so help me God, I will kill you myself!” I resisted the urge to punch him before I pivoted on my heel. As it was, I only got a few steps before Sano caught me.

“Where do you think you are going, Amei? My Sweet, you should know that now that I have you, I am not going to let you go. Too bad you chose this way instead of realizing this is for your own good as it is mine.” I didn’t see what he was doing as he used his right arm to hold my back to his chest. His arm depriving me of precious oxegyn, my mind started to go fuzzy from lack of air when I felt something stab into my arm. I let the darkness consume my mind, thinking that he was going to kill me now, I still couldn’t breathe.

~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~KAY

The first thing that came to my mind as I woke up was Mae. I looked frantically around for her, and found her on a bed that was all too familiar to me. I saw her on that bed, and little things about her just seem to stand out to me. Her smile is so her fathers, no one else had a smile like his and now hers. She had my stubbornness and pride. His defiance. My hair and eyes. His facial structure. Her skin was a mix ours. She was as open and friendly as I used to be, despite what she had gone through with her par- no her foster parents.

I had no choice but to except his word as I could see both of us in her and a printed DNA Testing Report I found by heron the bed. My child. Tsubame. I gathered the sleeping child to my chest after I had settled on the bed. I held her to me and just rocked, back and forth in a smooth gentle, slow rhythm.

I had fallen asleep when I felt little hands push at me, trying to move away from me and wake me.

I opened my eyes to find Mae very close to my face. “Oh good, you are awake, sleepyhead. Hey, Kay, is Sano right and I am supposed to call you Momma now? He also said I have to call him Daddy.” I realized what Sano was trying to do. He was trying to make us a family, if he could get Mae, then I would stay for her, the Ass hole had me figured very well.

“It is true, I am your momma, but you don’t have to call me that, and you do not call Sanosuke daddy, ok? He will never be your daddy. Do you understand me?”

She gave me a funny look, no I don’t think she did and here comes the questions, “If you are my momma, then how come I was with Mother for so long? Didn’t you love me? And how come I if Sano is my daddy, you don’t want me to call him that? That is what that paper said right? That you are my momma and he is my daddy.”

See I told you, she gets that from me. “Ok, now listen very carefully sweet pea, you were with Yumi for so long because I didn’t know you existed. Funny and bad as that may sound. I didn’t know I had had you, or otherwise you can bet I would have kept you. Who wouldn’t, you are such a good girl. Remember that no matter what any one tells you, I will always love you, and not just because you are my daughter, but because you are a special child. I don’t want you to call Sano daddy because he won’t be around much if I have my way. Yes that is what that paper said, you are so smart to figure that out, but he will not be your daddy.”

“Why?”

“Yes, Amei, why? Why won’t I get to be daddy to my little girl?” I hadn’t heard him come in, shit.

“Because I don’t trust you, Sanosuke. That’s why. You have betrayed everything good and decent. The only good thing that has come out of what you have done to me is Mae. Thank you for her, but I will not allow you to warp an innocent child.” I had placed myself between Mae and Sanosuke, and I was going to pay for it.

Before I could think to defend myself, his hand snaked out and struck me across my face. The force knocked me to the side and I could see stars. “Momma!”

I could hear Mae, “No, Mae, stay back!” Sanosuke struck again. This time Mae didn’t bother screaming for me, she attacked Sanosuke. He had a knife in his hand this time around. I tried to move to intercept my child, but she was too fast, too angry. Sanosuke stabbed Tsubame with his knife right near her heart! “NNNNNNOOOOO!” I could hear my agonized scream, another one to echo in my soul. He pulled the knife out and let her fall bonelessly to the floor.

I launched myself at Sano. I want going to let him get away with this. I would kill him with my own bare hands if need be, but he was going to die. I rushed him, no thought put into it. In a few moves he had me under him, pinned to the bed by his weight and my wrists together in a vice like grip of one hand. He kissed me. Brutal, dominant and painful.

“Do you know what I have done for you, Amei? I have killed for you! I couldn’t let Shishio get away with what he did! Yumi either. I would have Killed Aoshi if he hadn’t just disappeared from your life. I have protected you from everything, tried to give you everything I could. I gave you a family, and I just want you to love me as much as I love you, and to stay with me.”

“What more do you want from me, Kay? Everythnig I have done I have done for you! You are my everything, and now you want to leave me? NO, I Won’t have it. I have been waiting fro this too long, you are Mine, Amei and no one else’s!”

I gave it all I had, and kneed him in the balls for the second time this night. He released me and I crawled off the bed to my child. She fit the hole in my heart as she is mine, but more importantly, she was real and a very unique human being.

A lot of things had been pointing to this possibility. But the fact that I never believed until now that I had a child made me blind to it. I could be ignorant of what I didn’t want to see. I hugged Mae to me, I could feel her life slipping away a bit at a time. He claimed that he loved us, but someone whom loved us wouldn’t have tried to kill our daughter and threaten me.

“A..Mei, it will be ok, we can have another child. It’s ok, its not like she is all that important any way, you and I both know she won’t be normal, not with her past and being raised by Yumi and Shishio.” He tried to make it sound as if she were a pet he didn’t particularly like.

“She is some one special, to me, to all my friends and family, my true friends and family. You are neither and I warned you, now I will kill you. It might not be tonight, or tomorrow, but where ever you go, what ever you do, watch your back because I will find you again and kill you, especially if she dies.” Tears streamed down my face and yet my voice was hard as diamonds and just as sharp. “And to think, when I was young I loved you with al my heart, and you never saw it then. Now I can not love you, not after what you have done, or are willing to do, how sad.”

Sano gave a great sigh, “this is going to be ugly, Amei. I will beat you and I will have to punish you. Do you remember the last time I punished you? I am sure there are other things I can do that will be even more painful. If you continue with this mistake it will not go well for you or for Mae.” I launched myself at him.

My heart broke, it was Sano I had to fight, fight to survive, fight for my daughter’s life. Misao was in on it with him. Two of my best friends and they betrayed me. Maybe I betrayed them first, by not being the friend they needed me to be, but it didn’t matter. That and I didn’t know who else was my enemy now.


Right punch, block, left upper cut, dodge, he moved right into my spin kick and I knocked him down. He didn’t stay there but it was a start. I didn’t let him get up easily, punch after punch landed on his chest, stomach and face. I was stupid though. I straddled him on his legs, instead of his waist. This allowed him to use his leg strength to push me forward onto his chest and flip me onto my back. Now I was in trouble. He applied pressure to my chest and stomach, keeping away from my hips, I couldn’t use them as leverage. My legs were useless, there was no way for me to use them. He had me pinned and under his control. I didn’t see the fist that connected with my left temple and plunged me into darkness once more.

~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~

Author\'s Yada Yada: I hope you enjoyed this, even though it is short like most of the other chapters! i just took a look at how many chapters are left and there are only 2! i have to admit this has been on of the most fun to write, even though it is dark and creepy. may be tomorrow i will post again, depends on if my boss is in the office again or not, i was almost caught, oops. thanks to all thar have read and reveiwed this fic! i wouldnt have done quite this well with you! see ya!